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Elsa posted:I assume the two year lease girlfriend didn't have it in her to break up like an adult or got scared after doing the math of $30k in rent. Basically sticker shock. Bottom line is she decided she didn't want to be with him. And that happens a lot. Wanderlust-induced sociopathy lol I owe... is it rathkar? Whomever it is, I owe them an apology. Just this Monday I said my favorite game itt is to come up with weird reasons that would flip the guilty party to the person whom everyone thinks is wronged. Then rathkar does EXACTLY that and I'm all "you're stupid." Sorry, I'm laughing at my own hypocrisy
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:15 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 21:09 |
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Drunk Nerds posted:lol I owe... is it rathkar? Whomever it is, I owe them an apology. Just this Monday I said my favorite game itt is to come up with weird reasons that would flip the guilty party to the person whom everyone thinks is wronged. Then rathkar does EXACTLY that and I'm all "you're stupid." Aw dude it's fine. This thread is one of my faves on SA because it's like a peanut gallery making fun of overwrought redditors and their horrid relationships. When it's really unclear who the horrible one is, that's even more fun. I am ok with all dumb theories of what's going on with the OP, including mine.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:19 |
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gentle pete posted:from the comments- If a comment like this is like a fine wine then Reddit is Napa Valley.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:38 |
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Drunk Nerds posted:lol I owe... is it rathkar? Whomever it is, I owe them an apology. Just this Monday I said my favorite game itt is to come up with weird reasons that would flip the guilty party to the person whom everyone thinks is wronged. Then rathkar does EXACTLY that and I'm all "you're stupid." White knighting a terrible position is a SA tradition as old as "stairs in your house." Also I can't decide if this is mostly terrible and kind of funny or just mostly funny. ex is pretending to be me on gay apps and sending people to my apt building quote:So for the past few days, I've gotten several angry men at my apt building telling me to open the front door and buzz them in. Apparently they were expecting to hookup.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:38 |
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I hope you don't think I was white knighting anyone. I think the guy got off easy with a 2 year lease to keep him from chasing her.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:42 |
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The magic word is atheist: My girlfriend [21f] had dinner for the first time at my [21m] house with my parents. She is atheist, when they asked her to say grace, she responded with "I don't believe in fairy tales". quote:Just a background on my family and I; we're Catholic but I don't talk about it that much. My parents are much more into their religion than I am, while for me its just a personal thing that I won't talk about or mention unless asked. While my parents are devout, they don't ever force their religion on anyone and they are polite and respectful to everyone, same goes for my siblings really. My girlfriend is an atheist. We both are aware of our difference in religious beliefs and we respect that. We don't ever discuss it, its just something we are aware of and respect. My (27m) girlfriend (26F) of 5 months has become "spiritual" after taking drugs and I'm staunchly atheist. quote:My GF and I have been dating for about 5 months. This is by far the best relationship I've had, and we have so many things in common such as video games and playing music. She is a great, independent woman with an interesting job and hobbies (archery and falconry). These are some of the things that attracted me to her in the first place. I [29m] sided with my parents in asking my wife's sister [26f] to not swear at our home, she has become angry and accused me of being a sexist and a chauvinist. quote:I'm 29, male, and have been married to my wife who is also 29 for four years. We have two young children. My sister in law, her sister, is 26.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:56 |
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Square guy should travel to weird parts of Peru with her and smoke DMT, eat some Guinea pigs, even if only once. (I'm mostly saying this as I want to smoke DMT in Peru) GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:04 |
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Haifisch posted:The magic word is atheist:
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:05 |
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To be fair, in a lot of places in the south, asking a guest to say grace is seen as a polite thing to do. A weird, litmus testy thing to do, but still polite. Going "LOL sky wizard" the first time you meet the parents is not a good look, especially if you know they're a religious family.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:09 |
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blarzgh posted:the joke is that it was worded that he saw his therapist wearing a thong at the beach. I don't get the joke, but I get that it was a joke.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:09 |
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La Brea Carpet posted:To be fair, in a lot of places in the south, asking a guest to say grace is seen as a polite thing to do. A weird, litmus testy thing to do, but still polite. It just seems super forceful to me, as I said I respect other people's religious beliefs and even go to the random church on occasion when invited because I understand that their faith is important to them and sometimes that means they want me to participate, but putting someone on the spot like that feels p much exactly like a "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" situation. Say grace with the fam and she can politely go along with it, don't force it on her like that.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:12 |
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Haifisch posted:My girlfriend [21f] had dinner for the first time at my [21m] house with my parents. She is atheist, when they asked her to say grace, she responded with "I don't believe in fairy tales". I'm an atheist of Jewish background and I just go along with my Orthodox Jewish family's practices when I'm visiting them. I was at my parents' Pesach Seder earlier in the week and it was fun! But I'm also not a crazy militant atheist and I just do not understand weird rear end judgmental people like this dude's girlfriend. What's the reason to fight battles you will never win? Just be a civil, decent person, regardless of your beliefs or lack thereof. That's all it comes down to.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:14 |
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I'm an atheist of Jewish background and I just go along with my Orthodox Jewish family's practices when I'm visiting them. I was at my parents' Pesach Seder earlier in the week and it was fun! But I'm also not a crazy militant atheist and I just do not understand weird rear end judgmental people like this dude's girlfriend. What's the reason to fight battles you will never win? Just be a civil, decent person, regardless of your beliefs or lack thereof. That's all it comes down to. Situation coulda been easily avoided if they didn't strongarm her too tho, I feel like respect goes both ways here.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:15 |
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ArbitraryC posted:Situation coulda been easily avoided if they didn't strongarm her too tho, I feel like respect goes both ways here. All she needed to do was say "I'm not comfortable with saying grace right now" or the like. She had absolutely zero reason to denigrate their religious beliefs.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:17 |
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ArbitraryC posted:Situation coulda been easily avoided if they didn't strongarm her too tho, I feel like respect goes both ways here. But yeah, the parents saying grace themselves would have been best here, or at least the GF respectfully declining/mumbling something about thankfulness for family and food.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:17 |
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:All she needed to do was say "I'm not comfortable with saying grace right now" or the like. She had absolutely zero reason to denigrate their religious beliefs. I'm not saying I think she handled it well or how I would have personally handled it but I do think it was p rude of them (what if she were any number of other religions rather than simply atheist?) and I don't really think the bf should be super angry at her firing back.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:20 |
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I think she's a massive easily triggered bitch with no respect for his family and could have just said, no thank you.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:21 |
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Yeah as if a muslim family asking one of them to say a muslim prayer would have gone over well. They're both lovely, but let's not pretend like putting someone on the spot like that about their faith is anything except the height of rudeness.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:23 |
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Yea but if you're dating a Muslim and going to dinner with the family you have to be prepared for that, rather then drawing Mohammed on a napkin as a sick burn.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:24 |
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:I think she's a massive easily triggered bitch with no respect for his family and could have just said, no thank you. No think you would have the same effect honestly.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:25 |
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:Yea but if you're dating a Muslim and going to dinner with the family you have to be prepared for that, rather then drawing Mohammed on a napkin as a sick burn. I don't know why but this made me laugh like an idiot. That's like a drunk Jim Jefferies thing.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:26 |
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:I don't know why but this made me laugh like an idiot. That's like a drunk Jim Jefferies thing. CharlestheHammer posted:No think you would have the same effect honestly. Maybe that's true, but the only effect anyway was her parents looking a little sad. But now they all think she's a bitch. - the sons an idiot for not telling the folks she's an atheist, and not telling her what might be expected - the folks didn't know and assumed she was ONE OF US - she was really contemptuous in response to something that should have made her feel very slightly awkward at worst GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:35 |
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Yeah as if a muslim family asking one of them to say a muslim prayer would have gone over well. It's weird because I really had to bring up the idea of other faiths to emphasize how rude it is, we're all so scared of the militant atheist e-people stereotypes that we can't just accept it deserves the same level of respect and consideration as literally any other religious view. It's p simple, don't put people on the spot about their religious beliefs, that's invasive and rude.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:36 |
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ArbitraryC posted:It just seems super forceful to me, as I said I respect other people's religious beliefs and even go to the random church on occasion when invited because I understand that their faith is important to them and sometimes that means they want me to participate, but putting someone on the spot like that feels p much exactly like a "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" situation. Say grace with the fam and she can politely go along with it, don't force it on her like that. it's asking someone to be a very minor-scale master of ceremonies and a way of actively welcoming them into something that for most people in churchy circles is like 90% about community 10% about metaphysics, you goon. if you turn it down and they get weird and pushy about it, it'd be a power play, but the parents were total class acts about accomodating fedora dawkins girl even while she came over to their house and sneered at them it's exactly the same as going over to meet the parents and throwing a tantrum about being offered their weird ethnic food instead of your chicky wings, except words don't even taste bad A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:45 |
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ArbitraryC posted:It's weird because I really had to bring up the idea of other faiths to emphasize how rude it is, we're all so scared of the militant atheist e-people stereotypes that we can't just accept it deserves the same level of respect and consideration as literally any other religious view. Social decorum and tact is about not blowing up over minor annoyances like your boyfriend's family making a tiny little faux pas in asking you to say grace, especially if you have any interest in having a long-term relationship with the dude. It has very little to do with belief and everything regarding her totally rude lack of respect. There are polite ways to go about awkward situations and hers was the worst type of reaction. It's no different than if his girlfriend was Muslim or Jewish and said an incredibly insensitive comment as opposed to politely saying "I'm not comfortable with saying grace". The end.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:45 |
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No, asking someone on the spot to do something that might conflict with their religious beliefs is not in any way correct.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:05 |
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If the BF had bothered telling them it might not have happened If they knew she was an atheist and still did that, that's when you know it's not entirely innocent. Even if she's got a major chip on her shoulder about religion, getting that easily triggered would indicate to me she's a basket case. GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:09 |
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:No, asking someone on the spot to do something that might conflict with their religious beliefs is not in any way correct. extremely hosed up that these bigots didn't consider how the dark lord Atheus punishes apostates and blasphemers
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:10 |
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They were literally trying to honor thier guest, as is thier custom. There are a hundred ways to play it off and not have to say grace without mocking someone's faith. If she grew up in the United states she should be familiar with the concept of a guest being asked to say grace and not be offended by it. It is about the least offensive thing a Christian might do to a visiting unbeliever.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:10 |
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Honestly responding in that way to an innocuous request is a huge red flag to me. I'd think twice about continuing to see that girl.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:11 |
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Idk it sounds like something i would say while super nervous and then spend three days being like oh nooo i hosed up
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:13 |
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Oh hey, it's my last relationship from the perspective of my ex (who, coincidentally, has bipolar). We dated for 8 years and it took another 18 months of yes, no, on, off fuckery before I finally severed completely. She got this idea in her head that because we'd been together for so long through our 20s she'd somehow missed out on some fundamental part of growing up (it was the loving a bunch of different people part) so we broke up and then every time she'd have a depressive crash she'd beg me to get back together with her because her life was a dumpster fire then she'd go manic (she was off her meds and doing a ton of coke at this point) and run off on a bender and I wouldn't hear from her for two months. Rinse repeat, rinse repeat, ,
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:16 |
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ArbitraryC posted:Situation coulda been easily avoided if they didn't strongarm her too tho, I feel like respect goes both ways here. they didnt' strongarm her at all. they made a polite request and she botched it in a pretty rude fashion ArbitraryC posted:It's weird because I really had to bring up the idea of other faiths to emphasize how rude it is, we're all so scared of the militant atheist e-people stereotypes that we can't just accept it deserves the same level of respect and consideration as literally any other religious view. you're overlooking the fact that the parents took the insult gracefully and didn't mention it again. you're coming across as overly defensive and hostile here, and i'm an atheist who grew up in the bible belt correct: "would you like to say grace?" "no thank you, i'm not religious" incorrect: "would you like to say grace?" "yeah right, i dont believe in that sky wizard crap" boner confessor fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:18 |
Saying grace is saying thanks for the food and company, Christ. You don't need to get god involved.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:20 |
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cyberia posted:Oh hey, it's my last relationship from the perspective of my ex (who, coincidentally, has bipolar). We dated for 8 years and it took another 18 months of yes, no, on, off fuckery before I finally severed completely. She got this idea in her head that because we'd been together for so long through our 20s she'd somehow missed out on some fundamental part of growing up (it was the loving a bunch of different people part) so we broke up and then every time she'd have a depressive crash she'd beg me to get back together with her because her life was a dumpster fire then she'd go manic (she was off her meds and doing a ton of coke at this point) and run off on a bender and I wouldn't hear from her for two months. Rinse repeat, rinse repeat, , Unmedicated bipolar GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 03:32 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:20 |
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:I think she's a massive easily triggered bitch with no respect for his family and could have just said, no thank you. Same, I think you can play nice in someone's house even if you think they're being twats.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:21 |
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being asked to say grace isn't even an insult unless you're a huge goony weirdo. it's like being asked to take off your shoes and you're all "ugh are you saying my feet stink?" and you get hostile about it
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:22 |
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cyberia posted:Oh hey, it's my last relationship from the perspective of my ex (who, coincidentally, has bipolar). We dated for 8 years and it took another 18 months of yes, no, on, off fuckery before I finally severed completely. She got this idea in her head that because we'd been together for so long through our 20s she'd somehow missed out on some fundamental part of growing up (it was the loving a bunch of different people part) so we broke up and then every time she'd have a depressive crash she'd beg me to get back together with her because her life was a dumpster fire then she'd go manic (she was off her meds and doing a ton of coke at this point) and run off on a bender and I wouldn't hear from her for two months. Rinse repeat, rinse repeat, , I know a couple women like this and they are selfish trash fires. Sorry you met one.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:22 |
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:Social decorum and tact is about not blowing up over minor annoyances like your boyfriend's family making a tiny little faux pas in asking you to say grace, especially if you have any interest in having a long-term relationship with the dude. It has very little to do with belief and everything regarding her totally rude lack of respect. There are polite ways to go about awkward situations and hers was the worst type of reaction. It's no different than if his girlfriend was Muslim or Jewish and said an incredibly insensitive comment as opposed to politely saying "I'm not comfortable with saying grace". The end. Exactly. People need to lighten the gently caress up and acknowledge that they make mistakes and so do other people and to not lose their poo poo about it.
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# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:23 |
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boner confessor posted:they didnt' strongarm her at all. they made a polite request and she botched it in a pretty rude fashion it's not a polite request. The polite thing would be going about your religious beliefs among yourselves and not trying to hoist it upon someone of unknown background in a passive aggressive way of delegitimizing their beliefs. As I said, irl I've encountered situations like this plenty of times, my family is from the midwest and when I'm with them I participate in grace, go to sunday mass, etc, but no one is like "hey arbc can you go ahead and vocally renounce your beliefs and endorse our system before we eat? kthanks" cause that's simply unacceptable. to reiterate for the 50th time I don't think she played the situation right, I would never do what she did and would have gone with something more polite, but imo they made the first faux pas and it just feels like a play stupid games, win stupid prizes situation. They went for a religious powerplay and flubbed it. If I were in her hypothetical situation and handled it diplomatically, I would have felt p disrespected and put upon after the dinnner and prolly gone into my boyfriend about him not prepping his parents to react appropriately to my beliefs. ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 03:27 on Apr 13, 2017 |
# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:24 |