OSI bean dip posted:

You're stereotyping women at how they look at bathrooms.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

That old chestnut.

basic hitler posted:

I nearly forgot this story but you reminded me and i feel compelled yo share. My 15 year old self briefly set my steam handle to a jewish surname for steam/counter strike, to mess with some skinheads that kept popping in on my home server. The clan that ran it wouldnt ban them because they toed the line enough to not be outright racist in comms. I hated this so on top of the name change I would set my family bible on the computer desk and recite from the Torah. The bait worked and i got them banned by puppet mastering a very racist meltdown from someone. That weekend featured his aryan posse joining the server specifically to scream incoherent nazi bullshit in legit hate and anger towards me, and i changed it and dropped the act when someone with a security background actually doxxed me and began to harass me under the pretext of me being for real Jewish, even though the word got out it was just a troll. I got mailed a box of poo poo with the turds organized into a swastika. My parents filed a police report lol

This happened because i named myself Goldstein and recited leviticus at someone.

Hogge Wild posted:

Barudak posted:

Financial Domination may be the dumbest goddamn thing and if I had two children, one who liked dressing as pregnant yoshi amdnfucking a bicycle pump and one who was into fin dom there would be a bright and shiny new bicycle pump gift under the tree at christmas for the only child I recognize.

lalaland posted:

There should be a law against Kickstarters like this they could call it the law against taking candy from retarded babies

Faffel posted:

Human sexuality is a morass of terror and should have never happened.

Barudak posted:

Too late, we already painted an octopus loving a lady and put it in a museum.

Edit: Id say "imagine trying to explain that to space aliens" but theres no need. Theyll understand were weird when we start trying to gently caress them.

Pick posted:

They'll understand we're weird when they see that for hundreds of years we've been writing about what we will do when they arrive, and the answer is to gently caress them.

"Four hundred years ago today, our ancestors created the game series Mass Effect. Today, we pass on this cultural treasure to our new visitors from the stars--"

Barudak posted:

Listen Gleep-Glorp, this tour of your planet and civilization are great and all but Im gonna cut to the chase. How many holes and protrusions do your people have?

Pick posted:

Gleep-Glorp: *teleconferences with its home planet* yes... the humans... they certainly are a unique and vibrant culture. unfortunately, diplomatic relations may be difficult... they are really upset that we do not have breasts

NomChompsky posted:

*extraterrestrial being pulls out the painstakingly translated message from the newly discovered human species"

Hmmm "want sum gently caress"

Pick posted:

how humans see the fermi paradox:




how aliens see the fermi paradox:

Haifisch posted:

Stardate 3497-X dawns. Xenroblaf makes his annual check-in on Earth. Maybe this time they're ready?

His first data pull reveals a Deviantart page about being foreverial delitized. He shakes his cranial appendage and closes the scan.

Faffel posted:

Intergalactic misandry... I'm taking the ultraviolet pill.

Pick posted:

Sighr-erit-oerijeeeblat: *begins transmission* datalog 394;29.3248-5. human sociality continues to mystify us. at first we were delighted to know that humans had already developed sufficient diplomatic finesse and empathy to intimately bridge the species boundaries on their own planet. unfortunately, we did not realize at the time that they are the only sapient species on their planet :{

... furthermore, the human, suffering from some sort of severe malfunction in its mate recognition processes, will often repeatedly attempt to mate with its own hands


Rfir-blokr-sippo: Mo Sighr! *salutes* we have received word that some humans have developed sexual relationships with washing machines and suction cleaners, to the point that this appears to be the primary purpose of these devices in many households. what do we tell homeworld??


Sighr-erit-oerijeeeblat: *buries its head in its tentacles*

Barudak posted:

Gleep-Glorp is runnig, shouting but its too late. The first colonists are already aboard. He howls up to the sky, "The Rules for Desire is a gently caress book!"

purple death ray posted:

What does a sales engineer even do besides gently caress up perfectly good bathrooms apparently

Random Stranger posted:

Lie to customers and make the real engineers miserable as they have to try to make those lies come true.

No, I'm not extremely bitter after years of dealing with that at multiple companies, why do you ask?

Faffel posted:

No, seriously, what is an illegal party toilet?

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

One time as a child I was stricken with Subtracticating Rhumus and rather than paying for esper salts from the Swampwitch she hand-made a poultice from herbs growing near her illegal party toilet, and it didn't do a GOD DAMNED THING!

Guy Mann posted:

Maybe if engineers weren't so utterly misanthropic and repulsive they wouldn't need a special kind of engineer whose role is to be able to actually talk to non-engineers.

Pick posted:

Hogge Wild posted:

lol at quoting your own posts here

how vain are you

Karate Bastard posted:

Maybe if you fuckers'd learn to be not so obnoxious and wrong all the goddamn time it would be possible to talk to you without first getting some kinda hosed up specialist training in being compatible with the wrong and irrelevant have you thought about that huh huh huh? huh? Huh?

Hogge Wild posted:

but why make a swastika from turds if you're a nazi?

Jedit posted:

How did the turds stay in the shape of a swastika without getting shaken up in the post? Did the Nazi lovingly glue them to the bottom of the box, like some kind of postprandial pasta art?

Jedit posted:

How did the turds stay in the shape of a swastika without getting shaken up in the post? Did the Nazi lovingly glue them to the bottom of the box, like some kind of postprandial pasta art?

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

You can't Polish those things!

sebmojo posted:

pick is a national treasure there's a movie about here and everything

Malachite_Dragon posted:

The rules apply to everyone or they apply to no one. No quoting yourself
E: though as part of getting to the funny bits is generally acceptable

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Yeah, you can't just Pick and choose.

sweeperbravo posted:

they were slightly sticky and moist upon birth, the nazi placed them while still wet and then allowed them to dry, adhering them to the box.

Troposphere posted:

I wish it was eggs, or poop, or pee

just anything other than ddlg

dudeness posted:

I don't remember this Doctor Seuss book.

fruit on the bottom posted:

"will you try DDLG?"

I will not,
Now please leave me be

"Will you try it
In a club?
How bout if
I cry and blub?"

I will not try it
In a club
Nor even if
you cry and blub
Please don't ask
I loving swear
I will not try it
Anywhere.
I will not try DDLG
I've said it now so
Leave me be

fruit on the bottom posted:

"Could you, would you
With a cat?"

Sorry
I'm not into that

Malachite_Dragon posted:

The rules apply to everyone or they apply to no one. No quoting yourself
E: though as part of getting to the funny bits is generally acceptable

Syd Midnight posted:

Sculpting your identity symbol out of your own poo poo is neither inspiring to your supporters nor intimidating to your foes.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Bertrand Hustle posted:

You can, however, roll them in glitter.

Hogge Wild posted:

lol at quoting your own posts here

how vain are you

Pick posted:

It's necessary to the string. Mine is not the first or last post in the string but they are transitions.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I've finally made it. Forum goal achieved.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

They only had to be protected by the government because we failed them, as consumers. They used to be more about service until we got to the point where the majority of people buying plane tickets were the people who only wanted the lowest possible price or they wouldn't fly at all.

Maya Fey posted:

we went to a bar with a friend and he had to take a poo poo and when he came back he was like "wow that was weird, there's no door on the stall so i had to poo poo in full view of everyone in the bathroom". then i went there later and turns out there was a sliding door he somehow missed

Hogge Wild posted:

on gay bars: