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The right thing to do would be to use him as an example of a perfect student.
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Apr 25, 2017 23:59
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basic hitler posted:Well the teaching gig has been going well, at least mostly. I had a troublesome student and i reflexively enthralled him. I need to reverse it before there's permanent damage to his brain, on the other hand i could use him to motivate other students... I don't get it, all students enrolling in the dark arts sign waivers. You're not teaching at a good college, right?
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Apr 28, 2017 13:07
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NYEH HEH HEH HEH
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Apr 28, 2017 13:09
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I've had it. I'm sick of being Neutral. Oh it was great at first. Opened all kinds of doors for making money in hedge wizardry... but still got to be accepted in polite society. But. I am getting sick of all these cocktail parties where NASDAQmancers and Financial Dowsers blather on about how great it is that HexCorp is up 0.3%. I'm sick of the pretentious Good twerps lecturing me that I should "share my blessings with the poor." gently caress that! I've got a vault full of a gold dragons and the call of darkness in my heart. I'm ready to burn this poo poo to the ground. Help me, thread. What's the best way to get in touch with my Evil side?
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May 12, 2017 08:35
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Hobelhouse posted:I'm ready to burn this poo poo to the ground. Youve answered your own question. Use scorching rays so you can save your fireballs for the cops.
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May 12, 2017 08:54
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Let's be totally honest for a second here. No wizard ever really sees themselves as evil, per se. It's just shortsighted idiots who resent our bootstrapping and want the fruits of our magical labors re-distributed to peasants from the Black Forest who didn't earn them. Evil, for lack of a better world, is good.
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May 12, 2017 20:08
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did anybody say "I cast magic missile" yet? I cast magic missile
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May 12, 2017 20:24
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Goa Tse-tung posted:I don't get it, all students enrolling in the dark arts sign waivers. You're not teaching at a good college, right? awwkkkwwwwaaarddddddddd
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May 12, 2017 20:33
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Let's be totally honest for a second here. No wizard ever really sees themselves as evil, per se. It's just shortsighted idiots who resent our bootstrapping and want the fruits of our magical labors re-distributed to peasants from the Black Forest who didn't earn them. 
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May 12, 2017 21:20
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Go forth my undying minions of doom. Drown this worthless century in blood!
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May 12, 2017 23:43
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Let's be totally honest for a second here. No wizard ever really sees themselves as evil, per se. It's just shortsighted idiots who resent our bootstrapping and want the fruits of our magical labors re-distributed to peasants from the Black Forest who didn't earn them. It's fun to just cast some kind of corruption on them and send them back. A few days later, you got a whole village of shambling aberrations!
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May 12, 2017 23:45
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Well, yes, it is.
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May 13, 2017 04:08
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CERNomancers loving overcast fireballs on purpose. Now we're into plasma fans and gamma-rays. Eat poo poo, Elminster.
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May 13, 2017 04:24
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I'll be glad when the tech wizard thing finally bites it. "Oh just look at me with my necromanctic construct fueled by electricity and souls the damned." Real cool, buddy, but as soon as someone realizes they can cut a couple wires or even jam a cell phone into it, you're toast.
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May 13, 2017 04:27
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Me and Vecna goin out for Mojitos at Ralphs Taqueria. Hit me up if you wanna join us.
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May 13, 2017 23:12
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Goa Tse-tung posted:I don't get it, all students enrolling in the dark arts sign waivers. You're not teaching at a good college, right? i'm not teaching dark arts, that's the thing. I'm teaching intro to wizardry at Mirkwood Uni and these loving undergrads are grating on my mind. I've blown out the minds of half a dozen students in anger. Being mindless thralls now I've just been sending them to an old ruin I hold the deed on. I send em by nightfall and they'll be gathering and making basic reagents under cover of dark in an area around the ruin until their flesh begins to decay. On the upside i basically am able to fully supply all the reagents i need for my remaining students, which is good since Mirkwood's basic wizarding supply list is poo poo.
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May 14, 2017 01:07
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God Of Paradise posted:Me and Vecna goin out for Mojitos at Ralphs Taqueria. Hit me up if you wanna join us. I'd join you, but I think he might still be bitter about that time I tried to harvest his body parts for the wizard black market.
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May 19, 2017 17:42
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Wrong Vecna, dude. We hang with Vecna of Imroglia. He's like 80% human and knows how to party. You're thinking of Vecna The Great, who was a demigod before becoming a lich. A demi-lich who somehow manages to be more uptight than a priest. Also, still lolling at my vampire buddy who melted his face off trying to drink from a holy woman before she was corrupted. Dude still hasn't regenerated fully.
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May 19, 2017 17:53
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Oh, I never got to the real guy! I was late to the "Vecna became a God" party, and was trying to cash in on conceivable body parts that might have still been left behind. Harvesting body parts from folks named Vecna meant I technically wasn't lying when I sold someone the Jawbone of Vecna.
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May 19, 2017 18:30
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This makes the big Vecna proud.
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May 19, 2017 19:56
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I'm in wizard jail for my crimes. It's not too bad but my magic isn't strong enough so I can leave
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May 19, 2017 20:35
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Alright, lets talk White Orbs of Power. Tacky or Cool? Me personally, I like my Orbs of Power black as my Black Coffee of Awareness.
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May 22, 2017 10:06
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you're missing out if you don't set your orb to Psychedelic Seizure, IMO
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May 22, 2017 10:16
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White works if it's an eyeball that gazes back at you.
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May 22, 2017 16:05
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Any love for prisms of power? I'm a tetrahedron man myself
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May 22, 2017 22:30
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Hi, it's your favorite (former) Paladin again, with a bit of a problem. See, I managed to slay or drive off all the paladins in the local citadel (thanks a lot to whichever necromancer assaulted the place with an undead army a week ago, big help). So now I have a citadel. Problem: it's still a really holy place. Like, I can't even do the Blackguard ritual properly in here because the ingredients burn to ash when I step on the property. Even after I murdered the head Paladin here and spread his blood all over. But I can't not keep the citadel, that would be wasteful. So I need someone to do some serious corruption and desecration. Like we're talking industrial strength. I can pay in ancient Paladin artifacts (you'll have to corrupt them yourself) and also a lot of Paladin blood. Like, a lot, I saved it all. Also there's still a skeletal dragon in the mausoleum if you want it.
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May 23, 2017 00:21
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A guy sold me on the idea of purchasing a set of "hexahedrons" once, but it turned out they were just a handful of regular old playing dice.
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May 23, 2017 00:22
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:A guy sold me on the idea of purchasing a set of "hexahedrons" once, but it turned out they were just a handful of regular old playing dice. You should tie the forces of chaos to them. It's a good laugh to pull out at a party.
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May 23, 2017 00:27
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ChaseSP posted:You should tie the forces of chaos to them. It's a good laugh to pull out at a party. I fragmented the guys soul and put a piece into each one. Fun party trick, yes. If you're someone who's not me. Nothing but snake eyes if I ever roll 'em.
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May 23, 2017 00:34
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vcvcvc12 posted:Hi, it's your favorite (former) Paladin again, with a bit of a problem. See, I managed to slay or drive off all the paladins in the local citadel (thanks a lot to whichever necromancer assaulted the place with an undead army a week ago, big help). So now I have a citadel. Problem: it's still a really holy place. Like, I can't even do the Blackguard ritual properly in here because the ingredients burn to ash when I step on the property. Even after I murdered the head Paladin here and spread his blood all over. But I can't not keep the citadel, that would be wasteful. So I need someone to do some serious corruption and desecration. Like we're talking industrial strength. Nice going, Percival. You didn't desecrate the citadel by slaying the head Paladin, you martyred him. That blood you painted the walls with now made the place a consecrated shrine. Pilgrims will be lining up around the block to pray to that poo poo. You want to defile a holy place? Sacrifice of innocents, summon abominations, orgies in the nunnery, subvert and pervert sacred rites, orgies in the nunnery, corrupt the local lay people, orgies in the nunnery. As for the relics, I'd be happy to unload them for you, but you can make a fortune by selling them to wealthy noble art collectors or ransoming them to the appropriate religious order.
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May 23, 2017 03:21
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I keep trying to make golems but necromaners keep stealing my raw materials to raise them as zombies. Can someone please give me some advice? TIA.
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May 23, 2017 03:27
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Gridlocked posted:I keep trying to make golems but necromaners keep stealing my raw materials to raise them as zombies. Can someone please give me some advice? TIA. Your problem here is that you are starting with flesh golems, blood golems, bone golems, etc. Those come later in the build order, you need a couple straw golems at least to keep rival graverobbers away from your flesh farms until they are up and running. All they have to do is scare them away, although if they do kill the necromancer's minions that's more flesh, bones, etc for your pile. I mean, Animate Scarecrow is a simple spell, and necromancer minions are a cowardly and superstitious lot... CAPT. Rainbowbeard fucked around with this message at 03:50 on May 23, 2017 |
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May 23, 2017 03:48
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Conversely, you could put a Delayed Corpse Explosion spell on those suckers and wait 'till you hear the screams.
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May 23, 2017 03:57
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vcvcvc12 posted:there's still a skeletal dragon in the mausoleum if you want it. I'm super tempted on the dragon skeleton but it takes a LOT of juice to keep one a them running and I might as well announce "evil wizard here come smite me" to have one flapping around the tower
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May 23, 2017 04:25
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:Conversely, you could put a Delayed Corpse Explosion spell on those suckers and wait 'till you hear the screams. A necromancer can always gain more minions, fool! It's like you don't know anything about startup culture.
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May 23, 2017 04:37
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:A necromancer can always gain more minions, fool! Any necromancer worth his salt won't be anywhere near freshly raised minions anyway. They'll put new corpses in the fields where nothing gets hurt if they lapse into madness or explode or spontaneously decompose into pools of acid. It's just smart business - corpses are weird and volatile sometimes. Gotta make sure you have prime ingredients before you start stitching together your golems or abominations.
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May 23, 2017 04:46
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Skypie posted:corpses are weird and volatile sometimes. Yeah that's why I just take all the meat off
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May 23, 2017 04:52
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Skypie posted:Any necromancer worth his salt won't be anywhere near freshly raised minions anyway. They'll put new corpses in the fields where nothing gets hurt if they lapse into madness or explode or spontaneously decompose into pools of acid. No, not freshly raised minions, I mean the teenage posers who wear clothes from Hot Topic and think that necromancy is cool. Necromancy is not "cool," necromancy is a tool like any other tool. Just like ninja. The thing is, you can get stupid kids to easily interfere with most kinds of dark wizards who are just starting to get settled in to a new territory before the arcane machines and defenses are set.
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May 23, 2017 09:36
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I can get a corpse easier and faster than they can convince some kid to risk having grandma blow up all over their hundreds of dollars worth of clothing and merch. Grandparents smell funny and you'll NEVER get the smell out. No one wants to be the goth kid that smells like dead grandma. I'm more of an animating the inanimate person myself. If you thought Furbies and Bratz dolls were unholy before, imagine being chased down the hall by a couple dozen of them with sharp pointy teeth and glowing eyes.
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May 23, 2017 13:56
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My question is always why you'd want to do flesh or bone golems when earth and metal are so easy to get. Yeah, they're a huge step up from zombies and skeletons, but clay and brass and animated armors or are right there. And they don't stink up the workshop while you're piecing them together. Unless you're super specialized as a necromancer???
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May 23, 2017 14:31
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