/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

when you think about it, doing paperwork you don't actually want to (FAFSA) in exchange for money is like, totally prostitution... intellectually.

*hits bong*

# ? May 16, 2017 21:42

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# ? May 17, 2024 01:02

Submarine Sandpaper: May 27, 2007

depending on how much of a bootstrap gently caress the father is fafsa may not have been a great option either

# ? May 16, 2017 22:00

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

purple death ray posted:

illiterate dick suckin strawman

that's an excellent username.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:01

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

quote:

So...yeah, I'm weird when compared to the mainstream. I'm really quite comfy with that, but some of my 'quirks' would probably be major deal breakers when it comes to dating. The whole dating scene is new to me, so I'm not sure how one goes about putting stuff like this on the table. I really don't want to waste other people's time or my own, so do I just spew it all out? Here's some examples..

I'm asexual. As in never had sex, never want sex, have zero interest in sex. I am okay with an open relationship or a poly relationship if my partner needs to have those needs met.

At the same time, I have a lot of outside-the-mainstream interests that fall under the general heading of kink

I am an extreme introvert and need a lot of 'me' time. I'd be happy seeing an SO once a week or so (and even that is edging into too much.)

If we ever did live together, I'd need us have our own spaces (separate bedrooms, etc.) I will never be the 'in your pocket' type of girlfriend.

I hate talking on the phone and avoid texting, so if someone enjoys constant contact I'm not the gal.

I have no interest in marriage or children

I have low energy in general, so I'm not going to be partying on weekends or what have you.

Yes, I'm aware I'm not a catch in the romance department. But I figure there must be other people out there who enjoy low contact, no sex, and dates involving Renn Faires and video games (I'm also a giant nerd.) Just...not a lot of other people. So how and when do I make these kinds of expectations clear?

tl;dr: I'm an extreme introvert who doesn't need or want much contact from my hypothetical partner. I'm also a kinky asexual who has no desire for marriage or kids. When and how do I let dates know these things so I don't waste their time or my own?

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

# ? May 16, 2017 22:01

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

purple death ray posted:

You should read things better, you're yelling at an illiterate dick suckin strawman that has nothing to do with the reality of the situation

"strawwwww maaaaaan!" he cried, through a cloud of vape and body odor.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:01

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

if she's also into sending me gifts im down

# ? May 16, 2017 22:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

the humane society always needs to adopt out some more cats

# ? May 16, 2017 22:03

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

i'm really curious what "I have a lot of outside-the-mainstream interests that fall under the general heading of kink" means because they don't address them and i'm so curious

# ? May 16, 2017 22:07

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

what a shame, fanfic has erased the concept of platonic friendships from her mind

# ? May 16, 2017 22:08

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

Thumbtacks posted:

i'm really curious what "I have a lot of outside-the-mainstream interests that fall under the general heading of kink" means because they don't address them and i'm so curious

Betting diaper bdsm

# ? May 16, 2017 22:08

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Thumbtacks posted:

i'm really curious what "I have a lot of outside-the-mainstream interests that fall under the general heading of kink" means because they don't address them and i'm so curious

Is it a "kink" if they don't have sex? Are nerds running out of regular words to co-opt and dilute the meaning of, and now they're cannibalizing their own vocabulary?

# ? May 16, 2017 22:09

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Thumbtacks posted:

i'm really curious what "I have a lot of outside-the-mainstream interests that fall under the general heading of kink" means because they don't address them and i'm so curious

reading and writing about the supernatural dog dick universe

# ? May 16, 2017 22:09

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

If you're under 26 you either have provide your parents info or you have to go through lot of bullshit to prove you're not dependent on them anymore.

Proof of income and your own tax return to prove they're not providing for you.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:12

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Daddy Dom dog dick little girl sugar diaper

# ? May 16, 2017 22:12

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

Found the thread.

quote:

For me, kink is entirely removed from sex or arousal and is more about building trust with a partner. For a pretty vanilla example, think of rope bondage. The goal could just be sexy fun times and for plenty of people that's all it is. But other people use it as a way to share an experience on an emotional level. People seem to be able to wrap their heads around it being either about sex OR about sex plus emotional intimacy. Well, if you can imagine removing the intimacy part and just enjoying the sexual aspects, then maybe that will help you imagine removing the sex and just enjoying the intimacy.
Plus to be perfectly frank I don't mind if my partner does get sexual enjoyment out of it I just don't need it reciprocated.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

tbh sometimes fandom stuff is great because people make real good poo poo like Coelasquid's Overwatch comic which admittedly is about a nice blonde person who makes friends trying to get a dark-haired person who is an rear end in a top hat to not be such a dick and aaaaaaaaaaaa nooooooooooooooooooo

# ? May 16, 2017 22:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Thumbtacks posted:

Found the thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz9qNH8ofWI

# ? May 16, 2017 22:15

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Thumbtacks posted:

Found the thread.

Ah yes, the old "extremely awkward and doesn't realize that other people like emotional intimacy too" style asexual

# ? May 16, 2017 22:17

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

it uh just sounds like this poor woman wants someone to talk about her fanfiction with

# ? May 16, 2017 22:18

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

this girl is a loving enigma, i'm so confused

so she has "outside the mainstream kinks" but also hates being touched, has no sexual urges or satisfaction from anything, is fine with their partner dating other people in case they need to get off

she keeps referring to it as "that kink thing" too and refuses to elaborate and keeps referring to it as an aside

# ? May 16, 2017 22:18

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

i'm wracking my brain trying to think of "outside-the-mainstream kinks" that build a sense of intimacy but is so weird that she refuses to elaborate but also doesn't think it's that big of a deal

it could be basically anything but considering she doesn't like people being around her all the time i really hope it's an adult baby thing because that just means she puts on a diaper and sits in her room and cries and refuses to let any partners get near her or talk to her because they'd smother her and she thinks that's what intimacy is

# ? May 16, 2017 22:20

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

"SWF seeking nobody. Go away and please leave me alone."

# ? May 16, 2017 22:22

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

Thumbtacks posted:

this girl is a loving enigma, i'm so confused

so she has "outside the mainstream kinks" but also hates being touched, has no sexual urges or satisfaction from anything, is fine with their partner dating other people in case they need to get off

she keeps referring to it as "that kink thing" too and refuses to elaborate and keeps referring to it as an aside

Okay, seeing it put like that reminds me way too much of my ex

# ? May 16, 2017 22:25

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

She should just marry the first schlub who happens along and suffer through the dating and honeymoon phases of the relationship in order to get to the dead bedroom, mutual contempt phase she craves.

E: her kink is writing never-erotic fan fiction about George Costanza's parents

# ? May 16, 2017 22:25

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

The asexuals I talked to on okcupid were all extremely promiscuous, based on what they told me.

I didn't try to understand.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:25

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

i posted and asked her but i doubt i will get a response at all, i will keep you all posted

# ? May 16, 2017 22:26

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

The asexuals I talked to on okcupid were all extremely promiscuous, based on what they told me.

I didn't try to understand.

It's frequently used by people that aren't actually asexual

# ? May 16, 2017 22:29

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Thumbtacks posted:

i posted and asked her but i doubt i will get a response at all, i will keep you all posted

doing the lord's work.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesexual

# ? May 16, 2017 22:30

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

"Haha, hey babe, crazy idea, what if I cohabitate with my ex that is openly jealous of you? It would be weird!

If you say no you're a shallow bitch."

My (18F) boyfriend (21M) of 3 months is trying to convince me to let him live with his ex (21F). Help.

quote:

Soooooooo this isn't a story you see everyday. No throwaway because my boyfriend knows I'm posting this. It's pretty much all there in the title but for some context I'll be referring to him as Jacob and his ex girlfriend as Sam.

Backstory: So I've been dating Jacob for a few months now and we're crazy about each other, I adore him and he's very sweet, intelligent and (usually) has good judgement. However after last night I'm having a hard time believing that anymore.

Sam, his ex, has been a little bit of an issue from the minute we got together. She has been openly catty and defensive, even though she has a boyfriend, and has for a while. She's still in Jacob's life because she's always been a part of the main friend group, which I have no issue with. She always avoids looking at me when we are forced to see each other when out with friends, tries to one up me about everything, and sometimes downright scoffs at something I've said. I've never said anything to her because I don't like drama, but she has the reputation of a drama queen amongst the friend group.

The issue:

Jacob has been trying to move in with his friend, whom we'll call Dan, for the past few months, but due to a few bumps in the road they have not found a third roommate. According to Jacob and Dan having a third is more cost effective for both of them, BUT they refuse to room with someone they don't know. So here lies the issue.

Last night Jacob was on his phone texting Dan about moving plans, and their lack of a third roommate. He suddenly kind of chuckled and when I asked him what it was about he said, "Dan has a back up plan in case we don't have another roommate, but it might be a little odd." So I said great and asked what was weird about it, expecting maybe that they'd hang up fliers and find someone that way.

Nope. I wish. Dan had been texting Sam about her living arrangements, complaining that he and Jacob hadn't found anyone else to rent with them. She mentioned she was also looking for a roommate or two, and somehow they came up with this plan, for the three of them to live together in a house in a few months when their summer leases are up. I'm not sure whose idea this was originally, my boyfriend said it was more of Dan's idea.

Regardless, right off the bat I laughed (because I thought it was a joke) and said "oh wow lmao, hell no." But Jacob was like "...welllllll do you mind if I talk to them about it?" At this point I'm so confused because I didn't know why he was even considering this in the first place? Like who in their right mind wants to live with their ex girlfriend??

I'm uncomfortable with the idea for several reasons: 1, that's really close proximity to someone he used to be with romantically and sexually, 2, she's not very nice to me to begin with, and 3, I can't see her (a notorious drama queen, with very irresponsible tendencies) not making this awkward as hell for everyone involved, but especially me.

I told my boyfriend that I didn't sign up for this, and if he decides to go through with it, I probably will not be going over to his house, and insisting he comes to mine. That, he said, is "shallow" and if I do that then I'm just "letting her win".

When I asked why he couldn't just take a chance with a new roommate, he said that he's had bad experiences with that and he's not doing that "ever again."

I've talked to a few friends and they think the idea is insane, but I'm trying to be objective and not let my feelings dictate the decision. Reddit I'm at a loss here. I adore my boyfriend but I feel like if I don't say something this is gonna blow up in all of our faces. Please help?

TL;DR: boyfriend and friend want to room with his ex to save money, I'm not too comfortable with the idea.

Update: so turns out she doesn't have a boyfriend now after all. They just broke up. The plot thickens.

Update 2: talking to the boyfriend in a little bit. I'll let you guys know how it goes. I'm going to be upfront and let him know that this isn't something I'm okay with anymore.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:31

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

Pick posted:

ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesexual

Only can get in the mood on happy days?

# ? May 16, 2017 22:32

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Improbable Lobster posted:

It's frequently used by people that aren't actually asexual

Oh yes, it's frequently used by people the absolute opposite of that to extremes.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:36

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [21F] one year: She accused me of kink-shaming for finding furry art funny and is still mad, what do I do?

quote:

Hi reddit, was hoping for some insight into a current problem. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now. It's a good relationship and we rarely argue. When we do it's usually short and we're quick to understand each other's sides and reach a compromise. Until today.
We were chilling in her apartment on our computers and I came across this DeviantArt page with erotic furry art. I started laughing and my girlfriend asked what I was laughing about so I showed her. She seemed confused and asked why I thought that was funny. I was like, you know, furries lol. And then she just� got mad. She accused me of kink-shaming people who have furry stuff as their kink and said she'd thought better of me than that.

For the record, I identify as a sex-positive male feminist, and am in no way sexphobic or a prude. We're in a polyamorous relationship and I have helped multiple girls get over their hesitation about sex and their hangups regarding kinks, BDSM, threesomes, etc. There's two girls I Dom regularly on the side as a matter of fact, this is all to say I'm about the least likely person to shame anyone for what they get off to.

My girlfriend knows this. That's why we started dating, since our values match up in this regard. She's always appreciated how I work to make feminism and sex positivity a part of my everyday life and educate other people to these perspectives, unlike most other guys. Other girls I've dated and slept with have praised me for this too. Which is why I was blown away by her wild accusations that I'm kinkshaming because I find an MS Paint drawing of inflated cartoon characters loving with gargantuan genitalia amusing. I was in no way saying anyone whose kink that is is wrong or disgusting. I don't believe that and I never would. I was simply expressing that to me the pictures looked funny. She's having none of it though.

So two hours later and she's still pissed off telling me flippantly to "go join some rad-fem group" (meaning radical feminists, mostly composed of sex negative people whose politics center on kinkshaming). I said fine, if you don't want to discuss this in a mature way then I'm leaving. She said there's nothing to discuss, that I had made a bigoted comment and wouldn't own up to it and she didn't care if I left. So I left and am home now.

My question is should I wait for her to move on and contact me herself? Will she just get over this or should I try again to reach out and explain? On the other hand, was laughing actually bigoted? I'm open to the possibility that I was wrong, so an outside perspective either way here would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR: I laughed at furry art on the internet, sex-positive girlfriend accuses me of kink shaming when I'm just as sex-positive as she is. She's still mad hours later. Am I wrong/how should I try to communicate with her?

*takes wood pipe out of mouth and points it at you*: actually, let.,me tell youa bout how sex wiht many women is for feminism. I've receivd many compliments about this.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

someone make a new r/incel or whiny men thread so we can focus this thread on wacky stuff like evil french aunts

# ? May 16, 2017 22:38

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pick posted:

Do you seriously still have student loans? Aren't you like 30?

Ive never had student loans, I just wanted to fit in like all the cool kids.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:39

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Ive never had student loans, I just wanted to fit in like all the cool kids.

yeah me either. for shame barudak, there should be posting sumptuary laws to prevent such manipulative slummery.

# ? May 16, 2017 22:40

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Esoteric Scientist posted:

When to disclose my weird deal breakers when dating? (35F)

my kinks are: not going out with you, also not talking to you, also not having sex with you

Turns out I've been dating a lot of women

# ? May 16, 2017 22:41

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

dudeness posted:

Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [21F] one year: She accused me of kink-shaming for finding furry art funny and is still mad, what do I do?

*takes wood pipe out of mouth and points it at you*: actually, let.,me tell youa bout how sex wiht many women is for feminism. I've receivd many compliments about this.

I think for kink shaming to take place there has to be someone of that kink around to feel the shame. Obviously girlfriend is a secret Furry and felt personally attacked

# ? May 16, 2017 22:42

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

this is amazing

quote:

LDR Me [19M] with my Swedish boyfriend [26M] want to go to Stonehenge but I don't want to go.

I met my BF online on Steam three years ago, we started a relationship in 2015.
We have met in real life five times, and are deeply in love with each other. But recently, he has been asking me that we go to Stonehenge together, but I don't want to go.
He refuses to accept the fact that I do not want to go, claiming I need to be there to witness him "powering up" and that if I do not go, me and him cannot be together anymore.
I'm really not sure what to do, I love this guy to pieces but this may cause our relationship to crash, with no emotional survivors.
TL;DR BF is trying to force me to go to Stonehenge, but I don't want to go.

Thumbtacks fucked around with this message at 22:46 on May 16, 2017

# ? May 16, 2017 22:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 17, 2024 01:02

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Pick posted:

someone make a new r/incel or whiny men thread so we can focus this thread on wacky stuff like evil french aunts

Whoever makes it should make sure to include these two links in the OP:

https://vimeo.com/28466163 (Shy Boys IRL) and https://exposingfeminism.wordpress.com/shaming-tactics/

# ? May 16, 2017 22:45

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