Barudak posted:

gently caress she might not be fully disgusted in me, EMERGENCY MEASURES!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

UPDATE I haven't replied to his first text, and he's just now sent me another saying, "I guess it's over then," with a photo attached to it. He printed off one of the photos that I have on OKC, and, going by the stains on the paper, jerked off to and onto it. I might just vomit.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Art

Barudak posted:

gently caress she might not be fully disgusted in me, EMERGENCY MEASURES!

maskenfreiheit posted:

My [28 F] husband [34 M] of 5+ years constantly lies to me about his buying/selling of electronics; just found out he sold my tablet and pocketed the cash


The wife apologizing to her Redditor husband for invading his privacy by checking Ebay to see which of her belongings he's pawning hit me in the feels

Lareine posted:

Whoever changed Pick's av is a bad person. The last one was loving great.

Nessa posted:

I did not know any better.

As soon as I graduated, I moved into their house in another town, no questions asked. Lived with them, travelled with them and worked with them for a year and a half. Experiencing life outside of a depressive hoarder house was overall a very good experience for me. I broke out of my shell, tried new foods, learned how to do my own laundry and tried to contribute to the household. I think my ex and my best friend did a better job parenting me than my mom did.

"Oh, you're going to stay with your friend's 25 year old boyfriend in his house to keep him company while your friend is in New York for who knows how long? Have fun!"

"Your friend's boyfriend is going to be your graduation date and will be taking you back to his town for the night? Just let me know when you want to be picked up the next day!"

"You're going on a ski trip to your friend's boyfriend's small family cabin in the wilderness with their other friends? Make sure to bring some warm socks!"

A chill mom is one thing, but this was ridiculous.

It lasted a couple of years because I was able to put blinders on and not see the other half of the relationship at work. He was never very affectionate with my friend and she often complained about it. My poor, 19 year old brain was shattered when I walked in on them having sex and I moved back home a couple months after that. Despite my 2 years with them, a Christian upbringing instilled a lot of lovely values in me and there was still some repressed sexuality that caused me a lot of grief. I only discovered I was bisexual AFTER leaving a poly relationship that included another bi girl.

The couple split up several years later. I'm still friends with them and they seem to be doing quite well for themselves and are quite happy with other people.

I sometimes run into people who have met my friend. "Oh, how do you know her? Do you know her well?" It's tempting to say, "I know her quite intimately as we shared a boyfriend for 2 years," but I just say, "We were roommates for a while, so we go way back."

quote:

The guy (28/M) I've (25/F) recently been dating has told me that he's only ever had sex with women whose time he has paid for.

new phone who dis posted:

I hope you're happy now doing whatever you're doing.

quote:

We've been married for 4 years, together for 7. We have two kids; Daughter[4F] and Son[2M]

I'm really not sure where to start. My husband is an overgrown child, he just doesn't know when it's time to be serious. This is the only problem in our marriage. He's extremely loving, affectionate, and kind. He LOVES being a dad. He loves our children more than anything and they love him as well. He is constantly playing with them, and I think this is where issues start to arise.

My husband cannot understand when it's time to put playtime on pause. I'm serious when I say he's in playtime mode with our children from the moment they wake up, to the moment they go to sleep. This results in extremely hyperactive children in the morning when I'm trying to get our daughter ready for kindergarden, and it's extremely frustrating to have to struggle to get her fed/cleaned/dressed and out the door on time for school - where he then will drive her too. At night, this results in hyperactive children who can take up to two hours to get to settle down and go to bed, and by then it's way past their bedtime and will sometimes wake up grumpy in the morning because they didn't get enough sleep. He will sometimes even be egging our children on at night when we're sitting with them in bed trying to wind then down to sleep. It's incredibly infuriating and I will tell him to stop because I'm clearly trying to get them to sleep and all he's doing is keeping them up. He laughs and says he's just having fun.

Husband doesn't do hard discipline. He tells our kids to stop fighting each other or to stop touching fragile objects, but when it comes to time outs or taking away things like dessert, certain toys, TV time for the day, ect; he all but refuses. He will leave me to be the "bad guy" and I'm absolutely sick of it. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the mean mom who doesn't like fun or has to ruin their fun, but he just won't do it. I've told him that he needs to stop leaving all the hard discipline up to me, says he will, but then leaves it all up to me again next time. I dread when the kids are older and things like grounding become a thing.

My husband is constantly breaking our children's toys because HE wants to play with them. He's broken a little kid trampoline we got for them because he wanted to jump and play on it with them. He's broken 2 (our daughter AND sons) of those toddler sized motorized cars by sitting on them and riding around with them. Like, I would look out the window and see him riding around on these things having the time of his life, meanwhile our kids are standing on the edge of the yard watching him and waiting for their turn. He's broken a little kid basketball hoop by pretending to be on a pro basketball team and doing dunks, which bend and break the actual hoop. Our daughters birthday was last month, and one of our friends bought her a little scooter. My husband broke it within a week because he wouldn't stop playing and doing tricks on it every time he stepped outside the house for something. Our daughter was devastated because she loved that thing, even more so because she loves our friend who gave it to her, so to her it was extra special. I also feel terrible that this toy my friend spent her money in was destroyed by my husband before my daughter barely got any play time on it.

Now, my husband is 6 foot and about 20lbs overweight. He has absolutely no business playing on these children's toys, and I've told him time and time again to stop playing on them because they aren't made for a person his size, and that he will break them! And then he does! And he'll sheepishly carry the broken toy in to me and say "sorry", but then he's back at it again destroying another toy shortly after. We got our daughter a bike for Christmas so she can start learning, and I don't even want to give it to her because I know he'll ruin it for her like he always does with their toys. These are just some of the bigger broken toy examples. There are also countless smaller things of theirs he's broken; like balls, dolls, little cars, a doll house, a slide, ect.

He's always making our kids play with him, even when they clearly don't want to or just want to chill out/relax and sit and watch a movie. This mostly applies to our son, who is much more introverted/sensitive than our daughter and usually prefers calm and quiet interaction over the loud and hyperactive playtime my husband always does. A handful of times he has frustrated/overwhelmed our son by continuously pushing Son to play with him, resulting in Son to start to cry because he just wants to be left alone!

Now finally on to what prompted me to post here. My husband is always telling our kids, and everyone else that our kids are his "best friends". Since our daughter started learning to talk, he's trained her to answer the question "who's your best friend?" with "daddy!". Our son is in early talking stages and he is starting to train him do this as well. At first I didn't see any issues with this, and actually thought it was cute. But our daughter has made a really good friend[5F, I'll call her Emily] at school this year. Daughter is always talking about Emily and asking if Emily can come over/Daughter can go to Emilys house. Today my husband asked our daughter "who's your best friend?" And our daughter paused for a moment, got a huge grin on her face and said "Emily!" And it looked like my husband had just been given the worst news of his entire life. He asked her "what?" And our daughter started giggling and said "Emily!" again and my husband said "no no, who's your BEST friend?" And again, still giggling, she says "Emily!" my husbands face went blank and immediately removed himself from her and went into the other room. Our daughter seemed a little confused, but mostly undisturbed and went back to watching cartoons. I followed him and asked him what was wrong and when he starts talking I realize he's beginning to cry! He tells me that he's "supposed to be" our daughters best friend and that he can't believe she would "toss him aside" like that. Now up until now, like I said, I thought this best friend thing was cute. I never realized exactly how serious my husband took this, if I had I would have tried to put a stop to it early on (but then again, how exactly can you tell your husband to stop calling his kids his best friends?)

Anyway, I was a bit shocked at this point and I admit I didn't use as much tact in my response as I probably could have, and ask him if he's serious. He says "of course I am" and I tell him that he's the parent. He's not SUPPOSED to be a best friend to his kids. He's supposed to be the parent. And that he's 29 years older than our daughter, of course she's going to eventually make friends her own age and start considering them her best friends. He tells me I "don't understand" and I told him he was being ridiculous and childish. He looks at me as if I just slapped him and tells me I'm being heartless and accuses me of not wanting him to have a good relationship with our kids and leaves the house early to go to work.

I have no idea what to do. I almost feel ridiculous, because how can someone have an issue with their husband loving their kids?! I feel insane, and I haven't been able to talk to any friends about this because I feel like they'll all be "so you're mad at your husband for playing with your kids...? What's wrong with you?" But I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to address these issues with my husband in a way he'll understand so he'll start being reasonable about them. I also feel extremely anxious about everything now, because my husband and I have been trying for the last two months to conceive another baby, and now I don't want to bring another child into the world without having this mess sorted out. But I know telling my husband I want to wait on this 3rd child will devastate him.

TL;DR: Is it possible to love your children TOO much? Because I think my husband might, and I have no how to get him to grow up and stop acting like a 3rd child, and start acting like a parent

Zil posted:

Long read, but found it funny.

My[29F] husband[33M] is an overgrown child and I think I've reached my breaking point

Zil posted:

Long read, but found it funny.

My[29F] husband[33M] is an overgrown child and I think I've reached my breaking point

Zil posted:

My[29F] husband[33M] is an overgrown child and I think I've reached my breaking point

Barudak posted:

Cant wait for dad to start snooping on the kids phones and posting how he has suspicions they are seeing other friends than him.

Zil posted:

Long read, but found it funny.

My[29F] husband[33M] is an overgrown child and I think I've reached my breaking point

Hollismason posted:

Eh I know a couple like that and it's super loving awkward to hang out with them/ try to hang with them. The mom is totally not having that poo poo but whenever you try to talk to the Dad he won't shut the gently caress up about his kids. It's sad because we'll try and have a conversation about politics or some other subject like a tv show and then like he's got tourettes he'll blurt how "You know kid shows aren't that bad, and blah blah blah".

He's also one of those dads that basically force his children to wear dumb 80s poo poo. Like nobody watches loving Thundercats why did you buy your daughter a thundercats t shirt you goddamn man baby.

I am not joking we were out with them as a couple together thing and he went into some dumb loving vintage toy store and bought moon boots. Next time I came over I helped the mom break them because he started using them.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Didn't moon shoes break your loving ankles?

Batterypowered7 posted:

Didn't moon shoes break your loving ankles?

Blue Train posted:

Get drunk and talk a bunch of poo poo, if he complains you can claim you just had too much to drink

quote:

My SO's dog died last week because of a terrible and unexpected accident about which I won't go into details. The doggie was his life, he was his companion 24h/day and they had many adventures together, he loved him more than anything in this world. He is having a very difficult time accepting the loss and I am trying my best to help him go through it. I am suffering too because I also loved the dog and on top of that it makes me very sad to see my SO being so sad and lost.

Lately he was talking about the dog saying that he doesn't know what to do with his life. That before this happened he had reasons not to do certain things mostly because of the doggie, like moving to another country, or flying somewhere for vacations, even if he maybe at one point considered to do them. But now that nothing keeps him here and he can do whatever he wants, he doesn't want to have this freedom. Then I think he realized how it sounded and he said: "of course, I only say it from not having the doggie anymore, not excluding you from my life". But I did feel like he was not thinking of me at all. That I don't matter in half year from now. Whenever he mentioned something similar lately, he kept saying after that he is only referring to having freedom from the dog, and not related to us.

Maybe I am a terrible and selfish person but after hearing these words several times in the past days, it makes me very sad. I feel like he never really considered me part of his life in the real meaning of being his partner. I am trying to put myself in his situation and I don't think I would have such thoughts like "nothing keeps me here anymore" just because he is here, he is the reason why I wouldn't want to move anywhere else. Is he putting himself in these hypothetical situations because of the grief? Or is he really not taking me in consideration subconsciously when saying these things out loud, meaning he really doesn't see us being together in the long term?

We are living separately, being together for almost 2 years. I know that he cares a lot for me, he shows me that more than anyone else did but it's such a bitter feeling to hear him every time talking about what his future could have been with the doggie and that now he doesn't know how to live his life. I am very supportive of him, I told him he can take time off from us if he needs that, he doesn't want to do that, he said he wants me to be with him.

I can only imagine the pain he is going through and I don't want to be analyzing everything he says, especially during this difficult time when many people wouldn't function properly. It could be that I'm also part of the same category because of what happened, my brain had too much stress and negativity and that's what's causing my insecurities. But I can't help it. I am embarrassed and ashamed that I think of myself when he is in pain, but his thoughts are giving me pain also. Please help me understand. Thank you.

Tl;dr My SO's dog died and now I feel excluded from his hypothetical thoughts about life, he keeps saying that now that he is free he doesn't want that, and that he can leave tomorrow to another country, etc. It hurts and I don't know if I am selfishly mean when I think he just doesn't love me enough to truly consider me part of his life.

HoAssHo posted:

The dog filled some kind of deep void in him.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Pvt.Scott posted:

A Boy and His Dog and Das Boot are really the only movies you need to watch to understand men.

Pernicious posted:

I've (27M) been with my fiance (27F) for 3 years and engaged for 7 months, wedding is in about a month. Recently there was a news story about microdosing and she drops it on me casually that she has taken LSD during our relationship, 4 times over those 3 years! I lost it. I totally lost it. I yelled, screamed, I admit I didn't handle it well but to think that the woman I want to marry and have kids with is a drug addict! On top of that turns out she had done Ecstasy at a concert before we met, but only one time. That I can forgive but the LSD use during our relationship I don't think I can. It was before we were living together and it was on her own time so it wasn't that she lied to me or anything but it was a lie of omission to not tell me about it correct?

The worst part is, my addict fiance is in total denial. Know what she told me about her LSD use? So she doesn't like alcohol and is not much of a drinker. One glass of wine tops when we are out, she just doesn't like drinking. So she goes and uses this to manipulate me and said that her 4 times LSD use is not as bad for her health as me going and having 2-3 drinks during the weekends, and if I like to have beer and eat unhealthy food like wings while watching sports so what if she took LSD a couple times? I loving lost it. I simply lost it. I immediately told her to pack her bags and kicked her the gently caress out.

What do I do? Call off the wedding or insist on rehab or what? I already called her parents, friends, everyone and told them about her addiction. Her parents are insisting she quit her job, move back home, and do rehab but her friends are mostly saying that LSD is not a big deal and if she already said she's not gonna do it anymore since I don't like it so what's the big deal? I can't believe I've been dating a drug addict for 3 years!!

Stick it out through rehab or call off the wedding and break up for good?

Pernicious posted:

NA advises family of the addict to detach and force them into consequences, rehab or cut off all contact. I have kicked her out so now she has nowhere to stay. Her parents now have the ability to force her to go back to her home state with them, and from there they will send her to rehab. If she refuses to quit her job here and go willingly, they will contact her employer and take care of that situation so she'll have no choice.

Pernicious posted:

Her parents are on my side. How am I scum for doing what NA recommends?

Pernicious posted:

I'm trying to save her life.

Pernicious posted:

It's that she compared her LSD use to going to bars with friends and drinking alcohol and stuff. It's classic addict denial/deflecting behavior.

Pernicious posted:

Anyone who would risk heavy jail time for something so risky and dangerous like a drug has to be an addict. Why would anyone risk it if not for the addiction?

Pernicious posted:

Her parents are making sure she goes. They are flying here for her intervention and NA advises family of the addict to detach and force them into consequences, rehab or cut off all contact. She has a choice, rehab or GTFO.