UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

UrbicaMortis: Feb 16, 2012; Hmm, how shall I post today?

Gum posted:

I get the feeling that Ian Hislop was not too thrilled by the result

I dunno, they had a brief snippet of him on the new statesman podcast immediately after the exit poll and he sounded like he was enjoying the chaos.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 08:46

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# ? May 21, 2024 00:25

Codex Occultus: Apr 12, 2009; A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.

https://twitter.com/carolinejmolloy/status/873438866111332352

This will go well for everyone.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:02

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Codex Occultus posted:

https://twitter.com/carolinejmolloy/status/873438866111332352

This will go well for everyone.

Labour Majority here we gooooooo

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:05

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

upsidedown posted:

Can one be both an MP and a Lord simultaneously?

you can be a Lord without being a member of the House of Lords thanks to the Blair-era reforms, and it's membership of the House of Lords that precludes you from the Commons. ISTR someone pointed out it would have meant Tony Benn wouldn't have had to give up his hereditary peerage in order to enter the Commons, for example. Plus of course he can simply claim to be a Lord of another country (or indeed planet).

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:07

ronya: Nov 8, 2010; I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.

namesake posted:

The thing is that you can't assume that the line of party support will move as people age, there will be at least some who change their mind as they get older. Don't take that for granted basically.

the lines of parties themselves will move - the Tories and Labour both will adapt, and the views that constitute "obviously Tory "or "obviously Labour" will shift

gay marriage is within memory of everyone in this thread. it has ceased to be a stick with which Labour can beat the Tories for obvious reasons

grammar schools switched from Liberal to Labour to Tory within a generation

once upon a time motorway construction and road widening made for whole Labour careers, especially in London; this has eroded as Tories themselves have embraced green belt politics

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:08

Doktor Avalanche: Dec 30, 2008

Snipee posted:

Not sure if the thread alread shared this, but it's pretty funny: http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-book-of-jeremy-corbyn

For man cannot live by bread alone, but hummus is quite another matter.

These sound like something Pratchett would write and now I'm reminded he's gone

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:09

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

ronya posted:

the lines of parties themselves will move - the Tories and Labour both will adapt, and the views that constitute "obviously Tory "or "obviously Labour" will shift

gay marriage is within memory of everyone in this thread. it has ceased to be a stick with which Labour can beat the Tories for obvious reasons

I wouldn't be so sure on that point right now!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:09

ronya: Nov 8, 2010; I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.

pledging a subordinate coalition partner to have an unwhipped vote on something is surely the most transparent non-promise ever? Does the DUP even get to say "well we tried" for such a thing?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:10

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Barbe Rouge posted:

For man cannot live by bread alone, but hummus is quite another matter.

These sound like something Pratchett would write and now I'm reminded he's gone

Why would you do this to me, you bastard?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:11

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

namesake posted:

I wouldn't be so sure on that point right now!

I was gonna say hahahah this is gonna be great.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:12

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

ronya posted:

the lines of parties themselves will move - the Tories and Labour both will adapt, and the views that constitute "obviously Tory "or "obviously Labour" will shift

gay marriage is within memory of everyone in this thread. it has ceased to be a stick with which Labour can beat the Tories for obvious reasons

grammar schools switched from Liberal to Labour to Tory within a generation

once upon a time motorway construction and road widening made for whole Labour careers, especially in London; this has eroded as Tories themselves have embraced green belt politics

I think the new lines of attack will centre on our position in world affairs, and how we interact with Europe. The Tories have gone all out on their Empire 2.0 vision of a Britain that never suffered the Suez crisis, and the rest have to find a coherent strategy that fights that.

Housing, Funding, Immigration, the NHS (which is essentially the latter two), all hinge on where we are and how we deal with that issue effectively.

Barbe Rouge posted:

For man cannot live by bread alone, but hummus is quite another matter.

These sound like something Pratchett would write and now I'm reminded he's gone

Narrativia are still making the CSI:Ankh Morpork shows that he was involved in before his death. Some small comfort.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:14

Playstation 4: Apr 25, 2014; Unlockable Ben

Well, I tried.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:15

Zephro: Nov 23, 2000; I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...

Jippa posted:

Who would be the least bad tory leader option?

Ken Clarke probably

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:17

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

ronya posted:

pledging a subordinate coalition partner to have an unwhipped vote on something is surely the most transparent non-promise ever? Does the DUP even get to say "well we tried" for such a thing?

Do the public see it as a shrewd piece of political machination, or as the Tories hating Northern Irish peace, LGBTQ people, modern science and/or women?

Because the line that's getting the most play is that Theresa May is willing to sell them all down the river for a fingertip hold on power.

Total Meatlove fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Jun 10, 2017

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:17

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Codex Occultus posted:

https://twitter.com/carolinejmolloy/status/873438866111332352

This will go well for everyone.

Is there any details of this? Which minister was it? Did they say that's something which will happen, or it's something they'd be prepared to do for a deal?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:19

Another Person: Oct 21, 2010

Playstation 4 posted:

Well, I tried.

those both look awful

here's a hint: maybe don't put the union flag or any other flag in it because the aspect ratio makes it look like butt

just get a picture of corbyn in it which is suitably funny and make his eye animate or something like that to make it seem more alive

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:19

Gum: Mar 9, 2008; _{oho, a rapist

time to try this puppy out}

ronya posted:

pledging a subordinate coalition partner to have an unwhipped vote on something is surely the most transparent non-promise ever? Does the DUP even get to say "well we tried" for such a thing?

I don't see the problem. The DUP look terrible for failing to get it passed, the Tories look terrible for allowing it in the first place and Labour get themselves a few new voters. Everybody wins

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:19

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

peanut- posted:

Is there any details of this? Which minister was it? Did they say that's something which will happen, or it's something they'd be prepared to do for a deal?

Nevermind I found the answer on Twitter. It was Owen Paterson and he said it's something he can imagine happening, not an actual thing.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:21

History Comes Inside!: Nov 20, 2004

I dunno, some tories are extra cunty. My MP voted against same sex marriage, for instance. Could be a few more floating about who also don't want women to get abortions!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:22

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

History Comes Inside! posted:

I dunno, some tories are extra cunty. My MP voted against same sex marriage, for instance. Could be a few more floating about who also don't want women to get abortions!

Everyone else whips against it, they get wrecked.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:23

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Another Person posted:

those both look awful

here's a hint: maybe don't put the union flag or any other flag in it because the aspect ratio makes it look like butt

just get a picture of corbyn in it which is suitably funny and make his eye animate or something like that to make it seem more alive

I like it

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:24

Sulphagnist: Oct 10, 2006; WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

Gum posted:

I don't see the problem. The DUP look terrible for failing to get it passed, the Tories look terrible for allowing it in the first place and Labour get themselves a few new voters. Everybody wins

Going in bed with DUP should open up the Tory flank towards the centre on people who vote for lower taxes but think gays are alright. Party ID in the UK used to correlate strongly with social class but that's getting torn apart now that thanks to neoliberal orthodoxy you can be both highly educated and a member of the precariat.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:24

Another Person: Oct 21, 2010

Miftan posted:

I like it

eh, i just dont think red on black on top of red on black works for pretty obvious reasons.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:25

awesome-express: Dec 30, 2008

Playstation 4 posted:

Well, I tried.

Looks like a far right flag

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:26

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://twitter.com/MarinaHyde/stat...r%3D136%23pti19

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:27

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Here's the whole Katie Perrior piece from The Times

quote:

It could all have been so different. I genuinely believed Theresa May when she stood on the steps of No 10 in July last year and said we would run a country for everyone and stand to fight injustice. I hung that speech on the wall of my Downing Street office and felt that, together, we were the crusaders against the stigma of mental ill health, the saviours of the Union and the champions of the working class.

But there was no together. Her closest advisers put paid to that.

Nick Timothy, the prime minister�s joint chief of staff, used to love reminding people what a hierarchy was and how it worked. If No 10 was run like a business, he would do well to remember that the customer is always right.

And the customer has spoken � a hierarchy bigger than Nick, bigger than the prime minister. At the top of the chain sit the people who put you there in the first place � the electorate. I have written before about a whiff of arrogance emanating from No 10. It turns out the public couldn�t just detect a whiff, the place bloody well stank.

If you run a presidential style campaign with a woman who doesn�t like media interviews, then you have to accept that it�s better to do them and run the risk that they go badly than look like you are running scared.

Journalists have been falling over each other to complain that this was the first election in 40 years in which the serving prime minister had not appeared on their shows. Tony Blair was mocked in 2001 as being willing to crawl over cracked glass to get himself and his team on their airwaves. By not participating, it looks like the prime minister thought it was all beneath her.

Furthermore, if you want to brag that your candidate is a bloody difficult woman, then she has to show some empathy to remind people she is human after all. Her speech outside No 10 yesterday ignored the fact that millions of people had stuck two fingers up to her and her party. Where was the empathy? Where was the emotional intelligence to say, �I hear you. I get it. We were not offering enough of what you wanted and I take the responsibility for that�? Instead, we got more of the same.

During my painful ten months at No 10, I saw the prime minister stand up to Fiona Hill, joint chief of staff, only a handful of times. At one 8.30am meeting, Stephen Parkinson, political director, was walking us through the plans for the by-election that day in Copeland. He explained how the candidate, Trudy Harrison, was great and we were in with a chance. The prime minister said we shouldn�t raise expectations as it was highly unlikely we could capture the seat.

In her normal aggressive tone, Fiona bellowed out from the back of the room, �Well what are we doing there today? Why are we not parachuting in stardust attraction? Why the hell haven�t you got Boris up there today?�

Parky explained how, now it was polling day, it was essentially a get-out-the-vote operation, which means the best use of time is knocking on doors and phoning people up. Boris would divert resources into organising an event and could be a waste of time. Fiona protested and the prime minister overruled her, saying: �Fiona, I�d like to know what the point of all this is. If Boris goes up there today, he will be in tomorrow�s papers and that will be too late. Anyone who knows anything about campaigning knows that.�

The room fell silent. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. The prime minister had, for once, dared to raise her voice, a rare moment. Normally we would all sit there while Fiona would raise some batshit crazy idea and not say a word. This one clearly had the prime minister rattled. As it was, Parky oversaw a stunning victory in Copeland and was vindicated.

The chiefs of staff were great street fighters but poor political leaders. Great leaders lead by bringing people with them, not alienating them before having even digested breakfast. What I could never work out was whether Mrs May condoned their behaviour and turned a blind eye or didn�t understand how destructive they both were. For all the love of a hierarchy, the chiefs treated Cabinet members exactly the same � rude, abusive, childish behaviour.

For two people who have never achieved elected office, I was staggered at the disrespect they showed on a daily basis. I never hated them. I felt sorry for them and how they measured success by how many enemies they had clocked up.

Mrs May doesn�t need street fighters now, she needs people with charm and diplomacy to get her through the next few weeks and months.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:32

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Ahh briefing against the leader is so nice when the tories do it.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:33

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Another Person posted:

eh, i just dont think red on black on top of red on black works for pretty obvious reasons.

Ancom flag in the background burning up the union jack is pretty dope though.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:33

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

peanut- posted:

Here's the whole Katie Perrior piece from The Times

what do home office advisors do exactly and why did may think they could help her win elections

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:37

clear eyes full farts: Jul 3, 2007; the uk is just awful
It's a fake democracy
with free education and healthcare as long as you are a dosser and I am trapped here

I've been looking through various election results webpages (eg. bbc, wikipedia, guardian, telegraph) and annoyingly not all the numbers are exactly the same, is there an official data source with things like the total number of votes going to each party, total turnout, number of spoiled ballots etc? The electoral commission don't seem to have published anything on their website yet

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:39

ronya: Nov 8, 2010; I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.

I guess the Times has decided who to knife

well, being ablative armour for the MP is part of being a SPAD

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:39

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

Kurtofan posted:

what do home office advisors do exactly and why did may think they could help her win elections

I think they decide on which immigrants to deport.

Not even really joking

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:41

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Private Speech posted:

I think they decide on which immigrants to deport.

Not even really joking

yeah that's my first thought as well

theresa's team keep on delivering on important priorities

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:42

Captain Mediocre: Oct 14, 2005; Saving lives and money!

Has May actually even said anything about the election yet?

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:42

ronya: Nov 8, 2010; I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.

quote:

The pair were at the centre of recriminations flying back and forth between MPs on WhatsApp groups and even resulted in one cabinet minister branding the pair as �monsters who propped her up and sunk our party�.

historians of the future are going to be really sad that so much decisive stuff is locked up in a msgstore.db.crypt12 file somewhere

quote:

Insiders said the Downing Street advisers were not to blame and instead pointed the finger at the Australian strategist Sir Lynton Crosby, claiming he told colleagues that manifestos were a �sideshow� and refused to take part in policymaking.

A source also told the Guardian that Crosby insisted on focusing the entire message on May�s personal character, the 11 days until the start of Brexit negotiations, and relentless negative attacks against Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

The source suggested the prime minister was uncomfortable with Crosby�s strategy, including the heavy focus on herself, and even dropped attack lines from speeches in the final days.

lol

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:42

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

ronya posted:

historians of the future are going to really sad that so much decisive stuff is locked up in a msgstore.db.crypt12 file somewhere

They're all so egotistical they'll publish anyway.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:43

NRVNQSR: Mar 1, 2009

ronya posted:

historians of the future are going to be really sad that so much decisive stuff is locked up in a msgstore.db.crypt12 file somewhere

They're in the future, they're not going to have any difficulty breaking 2010s encryption.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:46

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

OTOH the dramatic historical reveal programs of the future are gonna be really boring because it'll just people throwing the latest cray model at old whatsapp archives until they find some random dude's dick pics.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 09:47