/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Look, all he's saying is that he likes that she looks like a child, but it's legal for him to gently caress her. That's not a red flag, is it??

# ? Jun 21, 2017 16:57

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:31

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My husband (26m) and I (25F) cannot agree on names for our unborn son

Update 1

Update 2

Finale

Props on the husband for how he did the reveal to

# ? Jun 21, 2017 16:59

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

hoo boy we got a bumper crop this morning

Boyfriend (26M) said that he feels like he "ruined" me (21F) ever since we had sex.

Lady, your boyfriend is a loving psychopath.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:01

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

As a car driver I despise cyclists and refuse to frequent restaurants that let them use their drive-thrus.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:04

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

cumshitter posted:

As a car driver I despise cyclists and refuse to frequent restaurants that let them use their drive-thrus.

I refuse to believe this is a thing just because how the gently caress are you going to eat or drink that poo poo on a bike

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:07

Maggie Fletcher: Jul 19, 2009; Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

Bamabalacha posted:

Every time I see one of those trailer things with a kid in it I scream internally.

I'm in Toronto, where we have a fuckton of cyclists (and a gently caress ton of accidents with cyclists), and I still generally only see them on paths or on the weekend. The idea of dragging your kid around like that during rush hour every day is just...ugh.

I haven't seen one of these on a commute (they're always on car-less bike paths) in years, but I used to see them all the time during commutes in the DC area before I moved away ten years ago. It always gave me the heebie-jeebies.

My area is extremely biker-conscious, with day-glo bike lanes that are generously spaced, and huge signs everywhere telling cars to share the road, and I'm still hyper-conscious anytime I'm commuting. I can't make a right turn without checking for cyclists. I used to bike commute a little myself and people are awful to cyclists. Putting a kid in that kind of danger just doesn't even seem remotely okay.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:09

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

hoo boy we got a bumper crop this morning

Boyfriend (26M) said that he feels like he "ruined" me (21F) ever since we had sex.

lol BDSM people are loving stupid

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:10

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Lol at the dweeby twenty something who thinks he's a demigod of depravity because he ties his girlfriend up and spanks her.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:18

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I (29F) married a guy (32M) I'd known for 4 months. I've made a terrible mistake.

Roll around all the ways this could end in disaster

quote:

I loved that he would do anything I'd ask for me. Now I find it annoying (where's your self-respect?) I loved that he would make me breakfast every morning but now I am indifferent to it, it is not meaningful for me at all. I loved that he had many friends, now I think all of his friends are some sort of boring man-boys. I loved that he didn't smoke weed (my ex smoked weed 24/7 while I am an occassional smoker), now I find it annoying!

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Girl twists things harder than Superman twisted Zods neck.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:27

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

hoo boy we got a bumper crop this morning

Boyfriend (26M) said that he feels like he "ruined" me (21F) ever since we had sex.

"that's how X is" as a retort to a complaint is the most assinied concept and it makes my blood boil.

like, it's not ok to ocassionally slip up and be a jerk, but if you make being a jerk a core character trait people just have to shrug and take it?

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:29

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I (29F) married a guy (32M) I'd known for 4 months. I've made a terrible mistake.

Roll around all the ways this could end in disaster

Congratulations, you settled! If her worst nightmare is, "he's attentive to my needs, he likes to cook, he has an active social life but I don't necessarily gel with his old friends, and he isn't consumed by substance abuse," I'm not sure what could possibly make this woman happy other than a meth-addicted, physically abusive cult leader.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:32

Academician Nomad: Jan 29, 2016

Maggie Fletcher posted:

I haven't seen one of these on a commute (they're always on car-less bike paths) in years, but I used to see them all the time during commutes in the DC area before I moved away ten years ago. It always gave me the heebie-jeebies.

My area is extremely biker-conscious, with day-glo bike lanes that are generously spaced, and huge signs everywhere telling cars to share the road, and I'm still hyper-conscious anytime I'm commuting. I can't make a right turn without checking for cyclists. I used to bike commute a little myself and people are awful to cyclists. Putting a kid in that kind of danger just doesn't even seem remotely okay.

Driving is also horrendously dangerous, our stupid human brains just normalize it because we do it all the time. Truck driver is one of the most dangerous professions in America just because they drive so much, and they have huge big-rigs to protect them.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:35

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Academician Nomad posted:

Driving is also horrendously dangerous, our stupid human brains just normalize it because we do it all the time. Truck driver is one of the most dangerous professions in America just because they drive so much, and they have huge big-rigs to protect them.

Plus we like to minimize the danger by calling car crashes "accidents", when usually they were caused by some dipshit texting and driving/driving while drink/just not paying attention.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:50

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Academician Nomad posted:

Driving is also horrendously dangerous, our stupid human brains just normalize it because we do it all the time. Truck driver is one of the most dangerous professions in America just because they drive so much, and they have huge big-rigs to protect them.

The only people I've ever seen with a hobby or anything that puts them in the ER as regularly as this dude are snowboarders and (motor)bikers

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:51

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Academician Nomad posted:

Driving is also horrendously dangerous, our stupid human brains just normalize it because we do it all the time. Truck driver is one of the most dangerous professions in America just because they drive so much, and they have huge big-rigs to protect them.

To be fair, being a truck driver would be much safer if any of them actually followed their safety regulations.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:54

Barudak: May 7, 2007

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

The only people I've ever seen with a hobby or anything that puts them in the ER as regularly as this dude are snowboarders and (motor)bikers

Amateur gun jugglers

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:55

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Pvt.Scott posted:

Congratulations, you settled! If her worst nightmare is, "he's attentive to my needs, he likes to cook, he has an active social life but I don't necessarily gel with his old friends, and he isn't consumed by substance abuse," I'm not sure what could possibly make this woman happy other than a meth-addicted, physically abusive cult leader.

Surprise: someone impulsive enough to marry a person they barely know can find ways to be unhappy with stability and affection.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 17:56

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

My (21M) girlfriend's (18F) dad (60sM) used racism against me because I have sick bass in my car. She can't see me as long as she lives in his house, how to confront his racist rear end?
by TheRaginCruze

quote:

Ive been with my lady, Veronica for about four months. Love at first sight kind of thing. She's in college and is smarter than I deserve for sure and hot as hell.

She was always reluctant to bring me over to her house because she said her dad would flip out over my car. I'm the VP of my car club and pretty much my ride is second only to my lady in this world. Ronnie claimed it was because her dad was a big "but American deal" and wouldn't like my rice grinder, but I figured whatever as long as we are happy right? Dad no matter.

Well the boys from my clubs were hanging out and Ronnie and her Dad cruised into the parking lot apparently going to the store. Wheb she came out of her car I was there waiting for her. Her dad looked at me and said "you're from the group making all the noise?" I was taken aback and said "if you mean the thousands of dollars of systems, then yes." He asked Ronnie if I was the guy she'd been seeing, she said "sort of."

He then proceeded to get in my face and say something like "my daughter is better than trash that sits in the Kroeger parking lot making absolute poo poo noise that's disturbing an entire neighborhood." I said it wasn't poo poo and he cut me off and said "you will not have my daughters in that car when it's making that noise and if you so much as disturb me for a second with your car, you will never see her again. Is that clear?" I tried to say he hasn't even gotten to know me and he cut me off again saying "i know all I need to know from you sitting here playing bass and waking up kids and making dogs bark. This is your warning."

He took Ronnie inside and she didn't even look at me. They were only inside for 10 minutes or so, so me and my boys were trying to leave. I texted Ronnie and said what's up why was she so cold. She texted back "my dad warned you, you still were doing it he thinks you are beyond low class" (this is where he gets racist). I said "so, you're dad don't own me." She said I can't see her anymore as long as she's under his roof and then I guess blocked me.

I can't live without my lady, how do I confront her dad on his bullshit?

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:03

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My (21M) girlfriend's (18F) dad (60sM) used racism against me because I have sick bass in my car. She can't see me as long as she lives in his house, how to confront his racist rear end?
by TheRaginCruze

That's classism

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:08

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The personification of the film Cool as Ice has a reddit account??

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:08

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

pidan posted:

That's classism

Sounds like good parenting.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:23

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My (21M) girlfriend's (18F) dad (60sM) used racism against me because I have sick bass in my car. She can't see me as long as she lives in his house, how to confront his racist rear end?
by TheRaginCruze

lol this girl's dad is totally right about him

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:24

Bamabalacha: Sep 18, 2006; Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

pidan posted:

That's classism

No, its anti-assholism.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:25

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My (21M) girlfriend's (18F) dad (60sM) used racism against me because I have sick bass in my car. She can't see me as long as she lives in his house, how to confront his racist rear end?
by TheRaginCruze

The audiophile, greaser speak is a weird combination, but I dig it! It's like if Crybaby drove an Accord with LED running lights.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:39

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My (21M) girlfriend's (18F) dad (60sM) used racism against me because I have sick bass in my car. She can't see me as long as she lives in his house, how to confront his racist rear end?
by TheRaginCruze

Is loitering in parking lots pumping your sick bass something people actually do irl and not in movies?

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:51

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

ArbitraryC posted:

Is loitering in parking lots pumping your sick bass something people actually do irl and not in movies?

yes, for dudes who all talk like that guy

he's a painter with words

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:53

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

Bamabalacha posted:

No, its anti-assholism.

I mean it's classism as opposed to racism, can't comment on the quality of parenting here

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:56

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ArbitraryC posted:

Is loitering in parking lots pumping your sick bass something people actually do irl and not in movies?

It was when I was younger so it probably still is now, but I wouldnt know because parking lots are for people who dont have amazon prime.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 18:58

Bamabalacha: Sep 18, 2006; Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

pidan posted:

I mean it's classism as opposed to racism, can't comment on the quality of parenting here

I said this in the Reddit thread too but rich rear end in a top hat teenagers to the same thing, just in expensive cars in front of Whole Foods or the fancy mall.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 19:01

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

It's classism as in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MM9qLnR1Q0w

# ? Jun 21, 2017 19:16

Warbadger: Jun 17, 2006

Bamabalacha posted:

I said this in the Reddit thread too but rich rear end in a top hat teenagers to the same thing, just in expensive cars in front of Whole Foods or the fancy mall.

If he dropped thousands on his sound system he might not be poor. Just an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:02

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Warbadger posted:

If he dropped thousands on his sound system he might not be poor. Just an rear end in a top hat.

Possibly, but being 21 and not in college is not usually a great sign for wealth.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:08

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My boyfriend [45 M] of a few months, refuses to believe I [22 F] have borderline personality disorder because I don't "act like one"

quote:

Before I explain my problem, my boyfriend and I are very compatible. We are both vegan, like to workout, share the same morals and beliefs, are happy to do simple things, and want the same things when it comes to our relationship. We both love each other and have a secure attachment to one another despite my borderline and abandonment issues. I think we can be very happy together long term.

However, he refuses to accept my borderline diagnosis because I don't fit the stereotype of a "true borderline woman." He dealt with a borderline woman and according to him she made his life hell. She lied to him about being pregnant and stirred drama between him and his ex-girlfriend at the time. When he told me this a few weeks ago, I decided not to tell him about my diagnosis. I felt like he wouldn't take it well.
I finally decided to tell him yesterday and instead of support, I got him telling me that I don't have it probably based on his views of what bpd actually is.

To him, people with bpd are devious, manipulative, inherently untrustworthy, and love to create drama. And since I'm the polar opposite of that, to him I don't have it. He told me that I'm trying to convince him that I have borderline. Why I would do that, I'm not really sure.

Given that I have bpd, I have very intense emotions that I mostly keep to myself. I thought I should tell him so he'd understand where my intense emotions came from. He can be very insensitive to my emotions. He tells me that my mental struggle is me being self-centered. When I tell him that he has hurt my feelings, I rarely get a sincere apology. He just justifies it and says that I'm overreacting and it's not a big deal and I'm wrong for feeling the way I'm feeling. He can never admit that he is wrong. He constantly invalidates my emotions and makes me feel bad for having them. He's not that supportive of me finding a therapist. He believes he has more expertise than the doctors who diagnosed me because he has personal experience with borderline.

He is a recovering alcoholic and addict, and I have been nothing but supportive to him. He asked me to stop talking about my drug experiences because it made him uncomfortable and I never brought it up again. I encourage him to go to his AA meetings because I feel he'd get more understanding from other recovering addicts since I have no experience with that. I gave up weed, MDMA, and alcohol because I saw him as more important than those occasional indulgences.

He does none of that for me. All I get is him being unsupportive of my feelings.

I really do love him, but I'm starting to question this relationship. I'm from the Northeast and I moved down south for the summer to live with him. He wants me to live with him permanently. And he wants me to give up my current college and go to a college by him.

I want to, but I don't think I can stand being with him anymore. I feel bad for even having emotions and walk on eggshells when it comes to expressing them so that he won't get upset. I feel unheard and not supported even though I have been very supportive of his recovery.

What should I do?

tl;dr: Boyfriend is insensitive to my emotions and refuses to believe that I have borderline personality disorder because I don't act like his bpd ex. I'm thinking of leaving.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:20

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend [45 M] of a few months, refuses to believe I [22 F] have borderline personality disorder because I don't "act like one"

"Those are EXACTLY the kind of symptoms someone with borderline personality disorder would pretend to have!"

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:31

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Is it possible for me (21F) to ask my very religious roommate (18F) for time alone with my boyfriend (21M)?

quote:

Okay, so I don't have a lot of friends. It's always been difficult for me to make connections with new people, and other than my boyfriend I have zero close friends. This leads to me receiving a random roommate every year.

I was abroad last semester, and returned to my home campus and was matched with my current roommate, we'll call her Rosie. Rosie is very sweet, fun, and doesn't have a lot of friends either. She's a freshman and I'm a junior, but we've gotten to be quite close in the last month. I'm establishing all this to say that she's not just a random roommate, but someone I consider a friend.

Rosie is religious (recently converted to Catholicism) and has never dated. She knows and likes my boyfriend, Kyle, but they've only interacted a couple times. Rosie is always in the room, usually studying. She doesn't go to the dining hall and she isn't in any clubs or activities, so if she's not in class she's right here in the room.

My boyfriend (we've been together 3 years) and I arranged our intimate time around her schedule. The only time she's in class and we aren't is early Friday morning for one hour, so that's when he comes over and we cuddle/have sex. This is the only alone time we get, so I value it greatly.

Rosie told me that on Fridays, her class is no longer mandatory so she doesn't think she'll go at that time anymore. This leaves me with zero time alone with my boyfriend, which is a dismal prospect. Rosie thinks Kyle and I are abstinent, and seeing as this is my first positive roommate experience ever, I don't want this to spoil her impression of me.

Is there a way to ask for a little alone time without coming across as creepy or immoral?

tl;dr: My young, naive, religious roommate and I are close friends, but I want a little time alone with my boyfriend and don't know how to tell her without it spoiling her impression of me.

My (21F) boyfriend's (21M) roommate (20M) tampered with our condoms

quote:

For anyone who recognizes my username, it is indeed the girl with the religious roommate who isn't comfortable having guys around. Turns out that problem resolved itself when she decided to go to those optional Friday classes after all, so my boyfriend and I sneak in for our once a week alone time. She doesn't know, so we're all good.

But this isn't my current problem.

My boyfriend Kyle (we've been dating 3 years) lives in a six-man room. His roommates are all okay, except for one, we'll call him Patrick. Patrick is very socially awkward and extremely self-deprecating. I'm self-deprecating too, so I get it, but it's very difficult to be around Patrick and when you try to leave, he keeps moaning about how horrible of a person he is. He'll stare at walls for hours, doesn't really get social cues too well, but is extremely intelligent. Never been destructive before.

Now...our problem.

Kyle ordered some condoms off amazon, since it was less expensive than buying them from 7/11. The package was delivered to his dorm room. It also contained a couple books for class and a couple other items.

A few days ago, Pat asked Kyle if he had a condom he could use. Pat never even speaks to girls, so Kyle was taken aback by this, but he gave Pat the condom anyway. I guess that's how Pat found out where the condoms were.

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex and I noticed a small hole through the wrapper (thank the lord I did). I pulled out the condom and inspected it, sure enough there were holes. We then looked at all the other wrappers and noticed most of them had holes in them, they looked like they were pricked with a needle. Some were more obvious than others. If the room had been dark, it would've been easy for us to not notice.

Kyle immediately suspected Pat. Just the day before, he was having one of his griping sessions and Kyle was exhausted from trying to cheer him up. He told him to get a grip and stop feeling so sorry for himself. Pat glowered, clenched his fists, and wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the day. Kyle also said Pat was the only one who knew about the condoms and where they were.

Pretty shoddy proof, I know, but I was so ticked that we marched over to Kyle's room and confronted Pat. He shrugged and said that we had no proof, then left. I was fuming, said some things I shouldn't have, and Kyle had to calm me down. It was so hard to calm down, I could've gotten pregnant for god's sake!

Now, my question is, what do we do about this? Obviously we threw the condoms out and any new ones we buy will be kept in my room. But I want to do something about Pat. Do we take the risk of reporting him (we go to a religious school, although my boyfriend's rector is a lot more lax than mine is), or do we just keep our distance until the end of the semester? I'm also concerned that he might do more to hurt Kyle or me, or damage more property.

tl;dr: Boyfriend's depressed roommate messed with our condoms, I am fuming and don't know what to do.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:32

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

Jim Barris posted:

I agree with you but I also think people have the right to not like certain things. My last girlfriend refused to eat eel, for example. I personally cannot stand most Indian food.

Hm you're both babies who are objectively wrong.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:36

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Haifisch posted:

My (21F) boyfriend's (21M) roommate (20M) tampered with our condoms

So if you prove that someone tampered with your contraception and you get knocked up, can you sue that person for child support? I'd love to see any case law on that.

Also just get an IUD/implanon/OCPs FFS

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:39

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Pat's in the right. They shouldn't be having sex nor using contraception. Pat singlehandedly kept them from going to Hell.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:47

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# ? May 14, 2024 07:31

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My [29f] girlfriend is deathly afraid of the police and pee'd her pants when they walked by yesterday

quote:

I'm a 32 yr old male. I've been in a relationship with "Erin" for 3 1/2 years. I love her and we have a pretty good relationship. Last night we were unloading groceries when a police car zoomed into a spot a few spaces from us. They got out of the car fairly fast and walked in our direction. She froze on the side walk and pee'd her pants as the police walked past us to wherever they were going.

She started crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I've seen her do many things in response to police. If I forget to use a blinker she begs me not to do it again. Pleading with me to please not forget to use my blinker...saying she doesn't want to get pulled over..none of us do. So I understand that but I can hear the fear and desperation in her voice when she says it. Last year the side of her car was dented by a semi truck. She didn't stop... or get his insurance..nothing..just drove away. When I asked her why she said " What if they call the police. I can't. My car is fine". I asked her why she can't deal with the police. She says she doesn't know. I thought maybe she had a warrant or had been arrested ...she said she had not. Back around Christmas I was pulled over for a broken tail light. She went white in the face and started sweating. She started having trouble breathing...I could hear the struggle when she breathed deep and she thought she was having a heart attack. The ambulance was called and they said it was a severe panic attack. There are plenty more instances of her being afraid of the police. Like... she won't drive or ride in a car if it's dark outside unless she absolutely has to bc she said at night a person has a bigger chance of being pulled over. She also will not bring gas to me or anyone actually if they run out on the side of the Road because she's afraid the police might pull up behind us. I could go on and on....

Other wise she doesn't have a fearful demeanor. She watches horror movies alone at night... i don't even do that. She's traveled a lot by herself...has camped out by herself.... lived alone and has done lots of stuff that a person filled with fear wouldn't typically be thought of as doing. It's just the police.

I just try to comfort her and be there but she refuses to see a therapist...her exact response was "I'm not paying someone $150 to tell them I piss my pants if a cop gets too close...drop it". It's getting harder and harder to be out in a car with her because of her anxiety surrounding the police. On the weekends she won't leave the house with me during "peek" times... which are times she believes that traffic cops are actively looking to write tickets. She has never even had a ticket!

After she had the panic attack last year I paid to have a background check done on her. I still fell like a jerk for doing it. I was convinced she either had a warrant or had been arrested and somehow the fear originated from that. She had no criminal background. I know the police are in the news for shooting people a lot and so I thought maybe she had that fear but She's a 29 year old white middle class female with no criminal background. Her brother said it started about 10 years ago but it has gotten worse.

I don't know how to help her. She doesn't see this as a problem. I just felt loving awful when she got so scared she pee'd her pants. I don't know what to do or what to say or who to talk to.

TL;DR. My gf is so scared of the police she pee'd her pants, has panic attacks , cries after any interaction with the police. She won't leave the house during certain times. I don't know what to do.

I want to say fake, but this is so bizarrely specific that I'm almost convinced it's real.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:51

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