Esoteric Scientist posted:

hi pick

I [27/m] saw my coworker's girlfriend do something really disgusting and couldn't shake her hand/look her in the eye. Now he's telling people I'm rude. What should I do?

Pick posted:

People will also put more effort into their earlier relationships because they aren't as good at recognizing when they're wasting their time, and their future seems more in flux.

maskenfreiheit posted:

it's me, i'm the basement dad

in a way, we all are

maskenfreiheit posted:

why is it considered bad for a 20 year old girl to have had sex with 10 guys so far?


Most people were like "Uh... it isn't?" but there's a few gem replies:

MF_James posted:

Man, I have a hosed up story that should be in r/relationships that my friend just told me about another friend, it's weird when stories close to home could be reddit things.... Although this needs no advice as my friend is already doing the thing she should be, but god drat I'm sure she needs somewhere to vent/cry.

Quick summary: Married a guy, had 2 kids with him, their niece ran into some tough times when she turned 15-16 and could no longer live with her parents, so lived with friend+husband. Fast forward to now, apparently husband has been sleeping with niece since shortly after she moved in, which was like 3 years ago or so... She is going to help prosecute the peddo scum which is good and my friend has moved out with kids, but she can't legally gtfo or withold rights from husband until he is prosecuted.

La Brea Carpet posted:

Me [33 M] with my wife [32 F] Do I tell her that her mom is cheating on her dad?

Barudak posted:

Preposterous, my house doesnt have a basement

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

What like at the same time or over the course of a couple years?

13Pandora13 posted:

There are basically 0 courts that won't hear an emergency ex parte + restraining order if sexual abuse allegations are involved.

quote:

First of all, please don't ask me who I am and my YouTube alias. I want to keep this anonymous.

Ann and I have been married for 9 months, we've been together for 3 years. Our relationship has been pretty smooth, and I love her to bits. However, we have a big personality clash. We've lived with it in the past but its affected her more than it has affected me. I'm more of a 'keep it all in' guy and I prefer to deal with my issues by myself. She on the other hand, talks about her issues with me, and we work through them together. I've always been a little "cold", maybe steely is a better word. I'm not too emotional, not that its a good or bad thing, its just the way I am.

My wife and I were forced to put down our dog recently. He was my dog before we met but he became a big part of our family. She loved the hell out of that dog, and I did too. When I lived abroad for a year, he kept her company and she was very close to him. So, we came back from the vet, and she was crying all the way. I was feeling really sad but I wasn't really showing it. She asked why I wasn't feeling sad, I told her I was. She started screaming at me for not having feelings, me being inhuman, me being cold, and her being scared of me for that. I told her that I cannot force myself to cry and I was feeling terrible inside.

We get home and she went off about I'm barely human and I'm basically an automaton. She then went on and on about how she has never seen me cry. Not when we had broken up 1 and a half years into our relationship, not when my mother died, not when I was leaving for a year to work abroad. I told her that me crying doesn't solve anything and she should quit bothering me. I went to bed.

Next morning, I wake up and decide to edit some videos I wanted to upload. I work from home and I have one main computer to work from. It has 3 hard drives. The first one is my OS drive the other two have recordings on them. I wake up to find the other two completely wiped. I freak out and irrationally think that it might have been some software or something. I try and see what the cause was, and I can't figure out anything. I had put in so much work recording these videos, so much effort had gone into them. I broke down. I had backed up only the recordings from 2 months ago. I'm sobbing hard and I just feel pathetic. I'd lost so much of my work and I couldn't figure out how. My wife then comes in, sees me. I tell her what happened. She tells me she did it. She wanted to see me cry and didn't know how else to make it happen. She's is happy she got to see that some part of me is human. She tells me it was healthy for me to let my emotions out. I swear to God, that's the first time I have ever wanted to hit her. I would have strangled her. I packed up a few things, laptop, phone, got in the car and told her that I'll call her when I am ready. I'm staying with a buddy of mine right now. And I need to figure this poo poo out. She was all apologetic and loving when I was leaving and was acting confused. I feel nothing but hatred towards her right now, but I need to be tactful in handling this situation right now. Help me figure it out ?

tl;dr: I'm a YouTuber. My wife deleted my recordings from the last 2 months because she had never seen me cry and wanted me to "let out my emotions". I kinda want to kill her right now. I want to know how to confront her.

Haifisch posted:

I'm[28M] a somewhat popular YouTuber. My wife[27F] deleted my recordings because she has never seen my crying and I'm unemotional.

Aren't dogs supposed to be one of the exceptions to the "men don't cry" bullshit? Not that what the wife did was okay, but that OP cried over his videos and not their dog.

ArbitraryC posted:

ymmv but I've typically found that people who haven't already had a ton of relationships tend to be more dedicated to their current partner and more willing to work through stuff rather than just breaking things off and moving on. When you get too attached to that cycle of thinking the new guy/gal is perfect and just diving into being way too attached, then breaking up at the first sign they aren't before moving onto the next one, you end up being the kind of person who's never satisfied and always looking for that new relationship rush. We've seen several examples itt of people with that perspective.

Of course the flipside of that is the people who just latch onto the first one that will have em and end up toughing things out through a lovely relationship that they could certainly do better than because they don't know any better/have the self confidence. So who knows maybe there isn't a good path to take and it just boils down to chance of whether or not you meet someone you could spend the rest off your life without so much baggage you ruin it.

quote:

A LOT has happened. I'm not going to cover all the events of the past few days, but here's the most important stuff.

Data - I had a friend hook me up to a local store that specialises in this. Proper recovery is expensive but they said that since no data is rewritten, its possible. Waiting to hear from them tomorrow.

Divorce - I decided that I'm not going to ask for a divorce. What happened was bad, but not divorce-worthy. I want to give this a chance.

Wife - I went back to her. She was crying. It looked like she had been for a long time. I went in and she hugged me and cried even more, apologising profusely. When she got a little more stable, we talked. She started by saying that she understood how badly she hosed up. She said that I am well warranted to ask for a divorce. However, she said that she will never pull poo poo like this again and that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life in regret. She begged me for one last chance. Having had a wonderful relationship before this, I decided that I wanted to give her another chance. I asked her to explain why she did what she did. She said that, first, Leo's death really got to her. Second, she confessed that she always felt like the weaker one in the relationship. She felt completely alone when she cried. I made a mental note to comfort her better when she's a little emotional. But she said that she understood right now. And she said that she felt terrible to engage in such power play, and that she understood that we're just different people. She told me she really regretted her actions and wanted one chance to make it up to me.

Thanks for your help and suggestions.

NOTE : The comments I made in the previous post - well, I was PISSED, really really angry, and also drunk. I thought about matters the next day and then took action.
I can't believe I forgot to put this in. Marriage Counselling - We're getting an appointment to get through this issue.

tl;dr: confronted wife rationally and we talked about the issue.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Is this about other people, some self reflection, or both?

Pick posted:

Don't be a sex weird. Don't date sex weirds.

Bonster posted:

Not Dienes, but a child therapist - no. That just increases the negative behavior. Psychiatric care and very consistent, firm boundaries from a young age work best. The sister isn't likely to change now because it works so well.

Haifisch posted:

Hm, there's clearly no confounding factors here. guy has it all figured out.


My [25 F] Dad [62 M] is hiding in the basement because I told him to go to the doctor

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Board up the basement door, problem solved.

Haifisch posted:

Data/dog man had an update:

Most of the comments in the first post are calling his wife a sociopath and saying he needs to divorce her. One of the top comments in the update is pointing out the hilarious levels of jumping-the-gun in light of OP & his wife handling things like normal human beings.

quote:

My wife then comes in, sees me. I tell her what happened. She tells me she did it. She wanted to see me cry

Pick posted:

Causation and correlation. There are a ton of factors that go into how people select partners, their ability and desire to select stable long-term partners, and their ability and desire to be stable long-term partners.

Haifisch posted:

I'm[28M] a somewhat popular YouTuber. My wife[27F] deleted my recordings because she has never seen my crying and I'm unemotional.

Aren't dogs supposed to be one of the exceptions to the "men don't cry" bullshit? Not that what the wife did was okay, but that OP cried over his videos and not their dog.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Wasn't John Wick an entire movie about a man murdering hundreds of dudes because somebody killed his dog? By extension, the sequel is also about the original dog offense as the action stems from the events of the first movie. I guess I'm assuming a bit here, since I haven't gotten around to watching either yet. The point is, this seemed right and justifiable to audiences. People take their doggos seriously on the whole.

I hope John Wick gets a new dog and some mafia goon punches its stupid head off. Make it a trilogy.

Pick posted:

sixth and maimed posted:

They killed the dog left to him by his dead wife so he wouldn't be alone. Watch the movies, they're pretty good!

WoodrowSkillson posted:

it's a really adorable beagle puppy too

Chill Nazi Frog posted:

In a ROW?

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

10 at once seems a little unrealistic. I mean I think the most partners anyone could satisfy at once is like 4, maybe 5 tops if they were like some really good sex haver. Anything over that and some of those people gotta be just a little

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

I see you are unfamiliar with the John Dough classic, 'The World's Luckiest Man'

Pvt.Scott posted:

Wasn't John Wick an entire movie about a man murdering hundreds of dudes because somebody killed his dog? By extension, the sequel is also about the original dog offense as the action stems from the events of the first movie. I guess I'm assuming a bit here, since I haven't gotten around to watching either yet. The point is, this seemed right and justifiable to audiences. People take their doggos seriously on the whole.

I hope John Wick gets a new dog and some mafia goon punches its stupid head off. Make it a trilogy.

ranbo das posted:

To be fair they killed his dog, stole his car and sent an entire squad of people to try to kill him. The dog was just the worst part of what they did.

quote:

40 f with 50m who talks baby talk. Would this weird you out?

When I met my SO we had a lot of sex. We still have it a few times a week. But, I am growing frustrated with myself because I can't seem to stop feeling annoyed by him.

Would you be turned off by this? I think he tries to be silly. But, he will say "come on come on come on." . like he is calling a dog. He will say this as he is trying to pull me to him.

He did this during dinner last night. As we were cooking salmon he started rubbing his fingers together and says let me feel something else soft and pink ...and he acted like he was fingering my *****

I kept cooking and he says ohhh my little baby doesn't want to be nasty?

These little things continued. This thing with him rubbing his fingers together like he is touching me ...makes me very annoyed.

For the record, I have asked him to stop baby talk. (Gently). Obviously he doesn't listen or care.

Then when we went to bed he took off his underwear and laid in bed next to me speak eagle and started thrusting. He says "what?" When I looked at him like he was crazy.

He said "come on come on come on come on come on" over and over ..pulling me close.

I had sex with him and I was truly clenching my teeth in the beginning because the whole thing was driving me nuts.

After sex he says ohhhh my baby was NASTY. Sooo nasty! (I have nicely asked hkm to stop calling me nasty)

I fell asleep and woke up and he was still on his computer. I said "what are you doing". He seemed to snap and says "working." I said still? He said yes. And you are just going to deal with it. And I heard him under his breath say "Jesus fuc@ing Christ".

tl/drI need to know if this is typical talk to a partner. Baby talk and comparing your puss@ to your salmon dinner.

putrid aidsman posted:

He did this during dinner last night. As we were cooking salmon he started rubbing his fingers together and says let me feel something else soft and pink ...and he acted like he was fingering my *****

I kept cooking and he says ohhh my little baby doesn't want to be nasty?

Haifisch posted:

I'm[28M] a somewhat popular YouTuber. My wife[27F] deleted my recordings because she has never seen my crying and I'm unemotional.

Aren't dogs supposed to be one of the exceptions to the "men don't cry" bullshit? Not that what the wife did was okay, but that OP cried over his videos and not their dog.

ranbo das posted:

To be fair they killed his dog, stole his car and sent an entire squad of people to try to kill him. The dog was just the worst part of what they did.