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I'm so glad it wasn't just me who found that weird.
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Jun 28, 2017 13:04
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Strudel Man posted:Do they commonly sing the national anthem at stage productions...? No, but maybe it's a thing in Missouri? I have a strong urge to shout "Play ball!" after hearing the national anthem, which makes Memorial Day ceremonies a little awkward.
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Jun 28, 2017 16:42
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Axiem posted:I took my five-year-old daughter to see The Little Mermaid (the stage musical) at a local musical theatre venue. This was her first live theatre experience, and her first musical theatre performance, so we discussed etiquette beforehand. Among the rules, of course, is "don't sing along". Are you sure you didn't take your kid to a Hockey Game? I know most Americans can barely tell the difference, but as a Canadian I can tell by the presence of a few things. Like, if there's Ice, you've got a Hockey Game.
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Jun 29, 2017 03:45
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SomeJazzyRat posted:Are you sure you didn't take your kid to a Hockey Game? One time I went to hockey but the ice was wood and the puck was bouncing all over the place, please advise
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Jun 29, 2017 03:54
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SomeJazzyRat posted:Are you sure you didn't take your kid to a Hockey Game? First of all, this was totally unnecessary. Second of all, you're a lovely Canadian for thinking of hockey before curling. 
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Jun 29, 2017 04:53
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Strudel Man posted:Do they commonly sing the national anthem at stage productions...? Just at the Muny, for whatever reason. I haven't encountered it anywhere else 
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Jun 29, 2017 19:51
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:First of all, this was totally unnecessary. curling isnt a sport, its just an ancient tribal ritual of cleaning up your room really fast before your violent mother slides by on the floor of ice.
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Jun 30, 2017 00:49
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:One time I went to hockey but the ice was wood and the puck was bouncing all over the place, please advise Sounds like lacrosse.
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Jun 30, 2017 01:18
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Not cute per se, but it did make me snort. At work today (a small diner) I was behind the register when a kid (maybe eleven or so) I just took an order from comes up to me and apologetically states that his little brother spilled a cup of water and ice and could I please clean it up and I'm really sorry and that it wasn't him it was his little brother and just could you please understand it totally wasn't him. I laughed, told him it was cool, and went to grab a mop and caution sign. I'm finishing drying the floor and I hear the little  : something something--"over one hundred dead in assisted suicide--" : This is why you don't watch movies, [Jamie].
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Jun 30, 2017 19:06
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My three-year-old son got a new shirt with a game controller printed on it. He excitedly put it on and pushed the buttons. "Look, I squishing the Goombas!" My five-year-old daughter was looking at a box of Cheez-Its. "Mommy, what's the '125' on the box for?" "That's how many calories are in a serving." "What are calories?" "It's... energy, basically" "When I eat this I get 125 Energy!?"  In related news I finished my FFIII playthrough. My daughter named the rest of the party. Gogo = Copy Umaro = Blehhh Everyone got a decent amount of use, but the MVP of the playthrough was Jayjay the ninja who never left the party in the WoR. Also we own a purple octopus bath toy that is now named Ultros.
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Jul 11, 2017 03:57
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Overheard in a restroom at comic con today, from the stalls in back. (Young child voice) "No. Noooo!" Pause "I don't want a poopy bottom!!"
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Jul 22, 2017 18:46
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Drunk Nerds posted:One of my four-year-old sons is standing in the hallway, staring at a blank wall. He slowly shakes his head, and says: Yeah you should probably call an exorcist.
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Jul 23, 2017 23:54
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To playfully discourage a child from smacking a 2 foot Stormtrooper statue made out of LEGO I jokingly told him that he'll wake up the bees inside his helmet. The child stared at me for a second in wide-eyed disbelief before whispering to his mother "They keep bees in there!"
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Jul 25, 2017 03:42
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Neurion posted:To playfully discourage a child from smacking a 2 foot Stormtrooper statue made out of LEGO I jokingly told him that he'll wake up the bees inside his helmet. The child stared at me for a second in wide-eyed disbelief before whispering to his mother "They keep bees in there!" Good job creating a mythos bee-goon.   
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Jul 25, 2017 12:30
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Neurion posted:To playfully discourage a child from smacking a 2 foot Stormtrooper statue made out of LEGO I jokingly told him that he'll wake up the bees inside his helmet. The child stared at me for a second in wide-eyed disbelief before whispering to his mother "They keep bees in there!" My cousin told me that beehive hairstyles were actually created by women tucking their hair around a real beehive. She explained that the hair would stick to it because of the honey and the bees would suffocate, so it was safe.
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Jul 25, 2017 15:26
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:My cousin told me that beehive hairstyles were actually created by women tucking their hair around a real beehive. She explained that the hair would stick to it because of the honey and the bees would suffocate, so it was safe. That sounds amazingly plausible considering some of the poo poo people have done in the name of fashion over the years.
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Jul 25, 2017 20:28
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Hell, wasn't it a thing recently that women were putting crushed wasp nests in their vaginas because of Gwyneth Paltrow or something? I can't believe that's a sentence is just typed.
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Jul 25, 2017 21:58
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Taeke posted:Hell, wasn't it a thing recently that women were putting crushed wasp nests in their vaginas because of Gwyneth Paltrow or something? Your kids say some really weird poo poo friend.
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Jul 25, 2017 22:22
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Taeke posted:Hell, wasn't it a thing recently that women were putting crushed wasp nests in their vaginas because of Gwyneth Paltrow or something? haha nice try pal, you think I'm going to believe this is an actual thing that hap- *checks google* 
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Jul 25, 2017 22:37
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U-DO Burger posted:My five year old daughter and I were reading a book on the human body and she said that if your skin was gone you'd just be a skeleton. I mentioned that this would kill you. She didn't agree. Does she say H P or hit points?
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Jul 25, 2017 23:51
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Beachcomber posted:Does she say H P or hit points? She actually says H P, though I did tell her what it stands for. My wife taught her how to play the Pokemon card game, so she's pretty familiar with HP at this point. She and her little brother were playing together the other day and suddenly she donned her space helmet and declared that they were going to Mars. Apparently there was some engine trouble because they crash landed on Mars and there was nothing they could do to fix it. They disembarked, only to find that there were super powerful Mars dinosaurs all over the place, and they couldn't be defeated because they had "fifty million billion thousand hundred billion HP". Her brother took up a toy sword and charged into the next room, made a few fighting sounds, then fell over dead. My daughter ran over to him, made a few sounds, and said she healed him, so they both retreated back to their spaceship. Then he ran back out to get slaughtered again. I don't think they ever made it off Mars  Random quote from three-year-old son as he points to his messy pull-up: "I pooped! It's super strong, did 500 damage. So powerful." There's a bunch of non-video game stuff they say too, I swear.
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Jul 26, 2017 00:40
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I have some friends who are now teenagers and very cool, but when they were little they used to rate their injuries by the number of "owie stars" they warranted (per comic books, especially Tintin).
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Jul 26, 2017 03:28
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I was helping my daughter in the bathroom and said "oh my honey, you had a huge poo!" and she said "i wanna be like you when i grow up"
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Jul 26, 2017 03:59
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Daughter: "It would be funny if there was a penguin firefighter and a poop firefighter and they put out fires with their butts!!!" *laughs hysterically*
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Jul 26, 2017 04:04
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U-DO Burger posted:Daughter: "It would be funny if there was a penguin firefighter and a poop firefighter and they put out fires with their butts!!!" *laughs hysterically* Well, I mean....yeah
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Jul 26, 2017 05:12
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This fall, Butler and the Deuce. A show I would definitely maybe watch. All the title needs is a snappy colon plus (additional?) butt-firefighting pun.
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Jul 26, 2017 06:00
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U-DO Burger posted:Daughter: "It would be funny if there was a penguin firefighter and a poop firefighter and they put out fires with their butts!!!" *laughs hysterically* I would never stop watching that show.
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Jul 26, 2017 06:48
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lemon-lyme disease posted:This fall, Butler and the Deuce. Gross.
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Jul 26, 2017 07:15
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Loren1350 posted:Gross. It's not my concept.
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Jul 26, 2017 07:42
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lemon-lyme disease posted:This fall, Butler and the Deuce. U-DO Burger posted:Daughter: "It would be funny if there was a penguin firefighter and a poop firefighter and they put out fires with their butts!!!" *laughs hysterically* my faith is humanity is growing!
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Jul 26, 2017 11:06
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Found this last night in my childhood notebooks. Written around age 5/6:
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Jul 26, 2017 14:48
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You had really good handwriting for 6 years old!
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Jul 26, 2017 14:51
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Subjunctive posted:You had really good handwriting for 6 years old!
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Jul 26, 2017 15:04
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pookel posted:I might have been 7 but yeah, I did. I'd taught myself to read at 2 so that followed pretty naturally. (Can you tell I was looking at these in advance of my autism assessment today? Hyperlexia is apparently a thing in autistic girls especially.) What's up hyperlexia buddy? That's a really good poem. It scans, rhymes well, and builds to a climax. A+ for little pookel.
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Jul 26, 2017 16:28
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I'm gonna a put a third "hi!" into "hyperlexia." What's up, y'all?
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Jul 26, 2017 17:08
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I'm gonna a put a third "hi!" into "hyperlexia." What's up, y'all?
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Jul 26, 2017 20:46
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Came to be amused by what kids say, learned I probably have hyperlexia to some extent as I've been reading since I was 2~3. Huh. Also my almost 20 month old niece has learned to say "boob" when she's hungry and is working on "I love you". Sounds like "a uv ew" right now but she's getting there. My nephew refers to Super Mario 3D World as "Kitty Cat Mario". Little stinker keeps deleting all the save data though so him and my sister can't really make much progress.
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Jul 26, 2017 21:19
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Subjunctive posted:You had really good handwriting for 6 years old! It looks better than my current handwriting (granted, I have pretty bad essential tremors).
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Jul 26, 2017 22:34
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A 5 year old at school got sent into the office for being disruptive during naptime today. I asked her what she did to warrant such a punishment and : I pretended that the mattress was me and then I pretended that I was the mattress.  : So you put the mattress on top of yourself?: Yes.
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Jul 27, 2017 13:29
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Four year old: "Mom, I'm going to be a ninja when I grow up....Guess what, I'm still a ninja right now."
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Jul 30, 2017 17:48
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