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Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

I do. It was the most boring banal poo poo over and over for months. Weirdly obsessive and repetitive, and just kept being fired back up with the same stories and answers over and over.

It's the worst (as in boring) I remember GBS being, like, ever.

Isn't it basically ongoing with all these pathetic threads that pop up every other day?

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Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

My [20F] friend [24M] says really vulgar things to me and makes me uncomfortable

So I’ve had this “friend” for a while who goes to the same school as me. I’ve never thought of him in a romantic way, and despite telling him this he still keeps mentioning that if he loses a certain amount of weight that maybe I will give him a chance. He always invites me to hang out with him, but I don’t want to. Because of that we mainly text.

He sometimes says really vulgar things to me, which makes me super uncomfortable. But I still wonder if I’m just being a prude or something. For example, he’s mentioned several times that my best friend and I should be a lesbian couple, and then sometimes flat out trying to convince me that I’m a lesbian. I just find it extremely creepy that he would even mention my sexuality. Also when I was in a relationship he would ask invasive questions like if I had had sex with him or not.

Then today he texts me and says that we should have a “mock fight” where we text each other insults which are in “good fun.” I don’t know why anyone would even want to do this and how it’s fun but I say ok. He first says that I’m a “fake blonde cum guzzling oval office” and I’m really thinking that this guy has serious issues. I feel like he has some sort of anger towards me and I don’t want to be around him.

tl;dr: Do I need to cut this guy off? He's not bad to talk to sometimes but his behavior makes me uncomfortable at times.

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



Smirking_Serpent posted:

tl;dr: Do I need to cut this guy off? He's not bad to talk to sometimes but his behavior makes me uncomfortable at times.

I mean, how hard up are you for friends that a verbally abusive weirdo probably harboring some kind of creepy resent-crush torch is worth keeping around?

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
He's mad because you won't gently caress his whiny creepy rear end.

:sever: his dick.

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

Haifisch posted:

He's mad because you won't gently caress his whiny creepy rear end.

:sever: his dick.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Then today he texts me and says that we should have a “mock fight” where we text each other insults which are in “good fun.” I don’t know why anyone would even want to do this and how it’s fun but I say ok. He first says that I’m a “fake blonde cum guzzling oval office” and I’m really thinking that this guy has serious issues. I feel like he has some sort of anger towards me and I don’t want to be around him.
Fuckin lol

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

Maybe I'm becoming an out-of-touch Old, but this honestly seems like a really minuscule concession for a free ride on the wedding bill as long as that's all they're asking. Means more to the Christ-Lovers not to have it than it would mean to include it for the "circus theme" so I say give it to 'em.

There's a hundred identical stories on Reddit where the religious family completely flips the gently caress out and disowns their child when they don't have a church wedding so yeah she could maybe just let this go.

CodfishCartographer
Feb 23, 2010

Gadus Maprocephalus

Pillbug
/r/relationships: People on the internet are broken af.

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

CodfishCartographer posted:

/r/relationships: People on the internet are broken af.

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

if you missed Pick's extended saga of being conditioned from infancy to care for her manchild dad and sociopath mom, going out in the big wide world and immediately latching onto the most helpless and unrewarding recipient of care she could find, I kind of envy you
I wish she would stop making threads that basically beg for people to come in and shout at her cause I have ongoing correspondence with her so she is a real person in my mind more so then a lot of other posters and it sucks to see it play out like it does.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
Hey wanna have a playful insult fight, it'll be fun :winkyfaceemoji:

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



ArbitraryC posted:

Hey wanna have a playful insult fight, it'll be fun :winkyfaceemoji:

Hey if you're not sure how to respond, you could say how I'm a worm, and like a worthless worm and you're going to stand on my balls in spiked heels because I'm so worthless I deserve the pain. Maybe like you could say that I deserve a whipping and I'm a no good slave. How I like this kind of humilation and I'm a worthless worm. Haha you know just a suggestion, for the game.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

Maybe I'm becoming an out-of-touch Old, but this honestly seems like a really minuscule concession for a free ride on the wedding bill as long as that's all they're asking. Means more to the Christ-Lovers not to have it than it would mean to include it for the "circus theme" so I say give it to 'em.


My entire opinion of the OP hinges on whether she actually believes in tarot card reading, or if its just a fun gimmick. But yeah; like if Uncle Steve was paying for your wedding, and he's allergic to shellfish, so Mom asked if you could leave the clams off the buffet.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


Viva Miriya posted:

Isn't it basically ongoing with all these pathetic threads that pop up every other day?

Pretty much. It was interesting the first time around for perhaps 2 minutes.
Now it's like discussing one stupid Reddit post for half a year continuously.

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Haifisch posted:

Point.

Mine [25F] and my family's religious differences are causing problems in my wedding.

... circus themed? Interesting choice, I'd have probably done literally anything else, but poo poo if this is the only thing your family doesn't want in it? Ride the gravy train to the station lady.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [20F] friend [24M] says really vulgar things to me and makes me uncomfortable

Ok, I read past the ages, and thought they were in high school.

You shouldn't be allowed to drive, or get a job, or vote, or drink or leave high school until you can develop the most basic ability to communicate disinterest in someone. Or really communicate in general.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

blarzgh posted:

Ok, I read past the ages, and thought they were in high school.

You shouldn't be allowed to drive, or get a job, or vote, or drink or leave high school until you can develop the most basic ability to communicate disinterest in someone. Or really communicate in general.

I'd say once someone calls you a cum-guzzling slut and the conversation keeps going you have pretty unequivocally communicated an interest in guzzling their cum

Jim Barris posted:

I wish she would stop making threads that basically beg for people to come in and shout at her cause I have ongoing correspondence with her so she is a real person in my mind more so then a lot of other posters and it sucks to see it play out like it does.

agreed but she doesn't want to go to therapy and GBS is kinda like the world's worst therapist without actually, technically being a concession that you're going to therapy, I guess

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Jul 5, 2017

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
This is why it is just easier to work out a budget for your wedding that you and your partner can afford to save up for, and go that route. Or have yourself and your partner have enough enforced boundaries not to be victim to all your family's little concessions.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Panfilo posted:

This is why it is just easier to work out a budget for your wedding that you and your partner can afford to save up for, and go that route. Or have yourself and your partner have enough enforced boundaries not to be victim to all your family's little concessions.

"please don't have a gypsy do witchcraft at your catholic granny with the heart condition on your wedding day" is probably the kind of concession you should make for others if you're interested in having any kind of relationship with them at all, regardless of who's paying

or if you decide it's really what you want just stake your ground on having the best fifth birthday party everrrrr and stick to it no matter what, but you can't really have both in this life

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Jul 5, 2017

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Pretty much. It was interesting the first time around for perhaps 2 minutes.
Now it's like discussing one stupid Reddit post for half a year continuously.

Gotcha. On that note let's go back to laughing at retarded redditors.

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib

Blue Train posted:

I've never seen a good story about someone named Jeff

hey what the gently caress man

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

"please don't have a gypsy do witchcraft at your catholic granny with the heart condition on your wedding day" is probably the kind of concession you should make for others if you're interested in having any kind of relationship with them at all, regardless of who's paying

or if you decide it's really what you want just stake your ground on having the best fifth birthday party everrrrr and stick to it no matter what, but you can't really have both in this life
A lot of redditors are suggesting that OP keep the tarot cards to the bachelorette party, which seems like a better idea anyway.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

i just kinda assumed they were gonna summon an incubus at the bachelorette but if you want to be all weird and lame then sure, fine

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
Why not both? Read the cards to make sure you're getting the right incubus for the party.

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

having a tarot card reader at your circus-themed wedding just makes me picture the whole event basically being a low budget Ren faire and I wouldn't wish that on anyone's family regardless of their hosed up religion

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
I want to avoid any serious relationships until I have my brokebrain under enough control that I can be reasonably sure that I won't get into a codependent relationship with someone who wants to "fix" me. It could be a loooong while. I'm sure I could find a surrogate mother figure to take care of me with a few months of effort, if I really wanted. That poo poo isn't good for anyone involved, though.

I can't imagine my parents disowning me for not having a church wedding. I've already disappointed them in far worse ways than that.

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Pvt.Scott posted:

I want to avoid any serious relationships until I have my brokebrain under enough control that I can be reasonably sure that I won't get into a codependent relationship with someone who wants to "fix" me. It could be a loooong while. I'm sure I could find a surrogate mother figure to take care of me with a few months of effort, if I really wanted. That poo poo isn't good for anyone involved, though.

I can't imagine my parents disowning me for not having a church wedding. I've already disappointed them in far worse ways than that.

Everyone is brokenbrain some just more than others, I have been in a wonderful relationship for the last 9-10 years and I'm broken as gently caress.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

MF_James posted:

Everyone is brokenbrain some just more than others, I have been in a wonderful relationship for the last 9-10 years and I'm broken as gently caress.

Yeah, but I currently struggle with daily routine and hygiene poo poo, like eating meals, brushing my teeth, laundry, sleeping, etc. I want that on lock, at minimum.

Bunni-kat
May 25, 2010

Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Pvt.Scott posted:

Yeah, but I currently struggle with daily routine and hygiene poo poo, like eating meals, brushing my teeth, laundry, sleeping, etc. I want that on lock, at minimum.

Sounds like we're not too different. I'm focusing on one aspect at a time until it feels weird not to do it. What's your strat?

spite house
Apr 28, 2009

the bitcoin of weed posted:

having a tarot card reader at your circus-themed wedding just makes me picture the whole event basically being a low budget Ren faire and I wouldn't wish that on anyone's family regardless of their hosed up religion
Circuses don't even HAVE tarot card readers. Shady traveling carnivals do sometimes, which makes me wonder whether this wedding will also feature eight-legged fetal pigs in formaldehyde and Cletus whacking on the mechanism of the Tilt-A-Whirl with a crescent wrench.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Sounds like we're not too different. I'm focusing on one aspect at a time until it feels weird not to do it. What's your strat?

I use Habitica to track my non-work "todos", and it also tracks dailies. So you can throw stuff like morning and evening brushing and flossing on there.

For me it's not a brokebrained thing, just more of a scatterbrained thing - having a checklist keeps me... in check :c00l:

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

spite house posted:

Circuses don't even HAVE tarot card readers. Shady traveling carnivals do sometimes, which makes me wonder whether this wedding will also feature eight-legged fetal pigs in formaldehyde and Cletus whacking on the mechanism of the Tilt-A-Whirl with a crescent wrench.

god I hope so

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
I [M 20] jacked off to my dentist's [F 32] Facebook pictures and then unintentionally confessed to her while under laughing gas.

quote:

Throwaway account. Happened two months ago.

This dentist is a very close friend of my mom's. I first met her when I was 10. She used to babysit me all the time back then. I don't mean to sound sexist or offensive but it's important to the story so I'll just say it. She's incredibly loving hot. Unbelievable boobs that are likely a G cup.

As someone who was just hitting puberty, she made quite a lasting impression. Then I went off to college and didn't see her for years.

I had to get my wisdom tooth removed two months ago. My mom took me to her obviously. I opted for laughing gas instead of being put under completely. She also gave me some sort of pill to swallow before the surgery. It was laughing gas combined with something else.
The point is, I was conscious but I didn't remember anything. I was completely delirious.

She wears glasses and ties her hair up in a loving bun when operating. Before the surgery, there was a clean up procedure the week before. After I got home, I fapped furiously to her facebook pictures. I was the only one who was supposed to know this. During the surgery, the last thing I remember is breathing in the laughing gas. My next memory is coming to my senses on the living room couch. My mom drove me back home after picking me up. I'm 19.

I saw a folded envelope in my front pocket. I opened it and there were pages of paper stapled together. The clinic gives you a paper to write down what you want to say after a dental procedure in case you can't speak. I saw my own handwriting. I don't remember any of this at all due to the drugs. She wrote in response to my questions so that I'd have a record of everything that was said.

I had told the dentist that I liked her hair. She wrote asking me why. I said it got me hard. She pressed on to find out what exactly I meant and I read myself confessing to her how I jack off thinking about her. I went into really great loving detail too. I specified wanting to shoot across her back while her hair was tied up in a bun and a couple of other things. The bottom of the page had her signature on it.

I haven't been there since but my next appointment is in July. I don't know how to face her next time. I have to go there as I need to get three more wisdom teeth extracted.

Two days ago, I found out from my mom that there's a get-together this weekend with a BBQ and a hike. She'll be coming over and I have no idea how to face her or what to say. I'm planning on playing dumb this weekend. I'm thinking of saying, "I found an envelope in my clothes in the washing machine. I had changed right after I came back home and I was too dazed to take it out. I don't even remember falling asleep that night. Anyway, the next day the envelope had gone through the washing machine and the ink had gotten washed out. What was it?"

tl;dr: Opted for laughing gas instead of being put under completely. Confessed to the extremely attractive dentist in detail how I jerk off to her. Dentist is an old friend of my mom's.

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
Get a new dentist

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

Lmao that incredibly dumb plan is worse than just not mentioning it.

Bogan King
Jan 21, 2013

I'm not racist, I'm mates with Bangladesh, the guy who sells me kebabs. No, I don't know his real name.
Wink at her as she arrives, this is your ticket to bone town buddy.

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

Holy poo poo

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
"Hello, the letter in my pocket was eaten by my dog before i could read it."

dudeness fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Jul 6, 2017

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



gently caress the MILF dentist, idiot.

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Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

idgi if porn is such a public health crisis, why didn't this dude just jo to dentist porno instead of facebook pics?

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