Parsley posted:

It's gotta suck to not be able to cry and vent, because everyone's congratulating your cheating husband on being so brave.

Barudak posted:

Your wife cheated on you within three days of getting married, then instantly bullied you into accepting she get hallf your stuff while she fucks a guy who you live with and your trying to make it work. Even a dog would have poo poo on her rug and run away by this point.

quote:

I'm not sure I can quit drinking yet but I'll try not to get this drunk again

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

quote:

My mom has always been a helicopter mom, she babied me and my younger (20 years old) brother. This caused more issues between her and my father he tried to get her to give us space and she'd scream that if it wasn't for her we'd be deviants.
I was a straight A student in highschool my brother too, she insisted we play a instrument, and we studied Russian with a tutor. We already speak Ukrainian and English because she is from Ukraine. We weren't allowed to go to parties, or date, or really have a life.
When I got accepted to a major university in a city across the country she forbid me to accept, she insisted I attend a local college that is very prestigious and that I'd still live at home. I got a full scholarship and my father who does really well for himself said he'd cover the rest. When she found out I was going she flipped out told me I'd regret it, she trashed my room. I've never seen her that angry ever.

Fast forward I went to college I blossomed, I still maintained a 4.0 GPA I was in clubs, I met my fiancé. She's gorgeous, smart and I love her. We've been together since our freshman year in college. After graduating college I got a great job at the engineering firm i interned at, she went on to her masters. We ended up moving into an apartment together, and even got a dog together. My mom has only met my fiancé a few times and was nice to her in front of her face. But as soon as we were alone she screamed at me on why I was with my fiancé, she's not attractive enough, she doesn't keep kosher (either do we really), she still is in school, and the list goes on.

I never told my fiancé this, I always told my mom off and told her I loved my fiancé and her opinion is void. Recently we got engaged. My fiancé graduated with her masters she got a fantastic job with the city we live in in a manager position. The pay is really good and we both plan on buying a house after we get married. When my mother found out we got engaged she was furious in fact we didn't talk for weeks. Recently as in the last few weeks she's been talking to us about the wedding. She's been very rude to my fiancé, telling her our ideas are stupid. Saying that she will plan our wedding and we will like it. I told her no that my fiancées family is planning the wedding since they are paying and if she can't be nice she will not be invited. She then called my fiancées mom and told her that we cannot marry unless we do things her way, my awesome FMIL laughed and hung up.

My fiancé and her family are great but I feel bad because my mom is being abusive to them. I can tell my fiancée is losing her excitement over the wedding and I just want to fix things. What do I do!?

Tl;DR: my mom is ruining my life because she's making me and my fiancées life a mess. How can I tell her to back off?

Milotic posted:

Kind of banal but I think it will spark debate.

Thoughts on moving in but keeping separate bedrooms?


Having a spare bedroom can be a godsend for all sorts of reasons - bad cough, early morning start, it's really freaking hot.

Milotic posted:

Kind of banal but I think it will spark debate.

Thoughts on moving in but keeping separate bedrooms?


Having a spare bedroom can be a godsend for all sorts of reasons - bad cough, early morning start, it's really freaking hot.

quote:

My wife and I have an awesome relationship, we're in our early thirties and have been together for about a decade. Recently, I worked up the courage to tell her that I'd love to have an mfm threesome, and in return she told me she has a fantasy of being mounted and hosed by a dog. While I am really, really surprised, I'm not absolutely against the idea. (Edited to add questions I'm realizing I have) Have you ever known or been in a relationship with someone who was into that? How did you react? I'm certainly not going to tell anyone in person, I want her to be safe.

quote:

Tbh, I don't agree with that. I think it is possible to abuse an animal, and I absolutely don't agree with abuse, but I believe that if a woman (or man, trans, etc.) assumes the position in front of a male dog and the dog has sex with them then that is a very obvious sign of consent.

Naerasa posted:

I confessed to my wife I wanted an mfm. She confessed that she has a bestiality fantasy. [conflicted]


r/relationships: [ANGRY DOG NOISES]

La Brea Carpet posted:

More like [HORNY DOG NOISES]

Parsley posted:

She coulda just said 'no'

Naerasa posted:

[conflicted]

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

quote:

I'm not sure I can quit drinking yet but I'll try not to get this drunk again

Naerasa posted:

I confessed to my wife I wanted an mfm. She confessed that she has a bestiality fantasy. [conflicted]


You're okay with your wife loving a dog, you say? But isn't that rape, or animal abuse at the very least?


r/relationships: [ANGRY DOG NOISES]

Pick posted:

Love makes you dumb as hell, man

quote:

Well, I suppose this gently caress up has happened today, and has been happening everyday for the past seventeen years.

About seventeen years ago my wife and I adopted a baby from an Asian American family. While we knew very little details, basically what happened with them is that we learned they were too young for children. I made very little inquiries as (they seemed embarrassed/I didn't want to pry). I was just excited to have a son and couldn't have cared less about the parent's history, besides their current and future well being. So as long as they were healthy and willing to gift me with their child, I really did not go too much into their histories. This was my major gently caress up. My wife and I choose to adopt this baby because we felt for the parents and anyone that has been through the adoption process knows that it is much easier to get a non-white baby than it is to get a white one (which is hosed up IMO) and we wanted one NOW and didn't want to be on a wait list.

Anyway we adopt this beautiful, loving, affectionate and incredible baby. It's truly love at first sight for all of us. Around about eight months we start to feel a little bit of guilt about not raising him in his on ethnic culture and given that we live in an area with a major Chinese population, it would be very easy to introduce him to his roots. So for the next seventeen years we do everything we can to honor his ethnicity. We send him to Chinese language courses and by five he's fluent in Mandarin and English, he gets an "adopted" by a Chinese aunt and uncle (they taught him cultural things and celebrate certain holidays and take him for dim sum every couple of weeks). We've been taking him to China every two years since he was eight. We weren't trying to force him to take up his culture as an "other" in our family, but we didn't want to rob him of it or completely whitewash him either. We try and be PC as possible and we thought we were doing the right thing.

He's the best thing that has ever happened to me and my wife. There is not a day were I don't just look at him and smile warmly. I love him.

Anyway we are filling out his college apps/financial aid applications and doing that whole thing. I go to my home office and go through some files and find his old adoption records. I'm not really paying much attention to them and then his biological parents surnames pop out and basically punch me in the face. His parent's last names were PARK AND KIM. gently caress. gently caress. gently caress.

For those of you that do not know, those are Korean last names. My son is not Chinese. Not even a little bit.

He's Korean.

I suppose I just assumed it because we live in an area on the west coast where there are a lot of Chinese immigrants and Chinese-Americans have been living for generations and generations. I don't always assume every Asian is Chinese, but I did assume this for my son. Now I have a seventeen year old Korean son that thinks he Chinese. Now that I look at him, he looks INCREDIBLY Korean in comparassion to all of the photos of Korean men that I have just googled. Very square jaw, less hooded eyes, very broad build. None of this ever crossed my mind. I've dedicated nearly two decades to helping my son be close to roots that aren't even his. I realize that I've just been loving up. I feel like a complete rear end in a top hat to the nth degree. I'm that dumb liberal white dickhead. gently caress.

I have yet to disclose this to my son or wife.

I honestly don't even know if I will.

TL;DR: Assumed my son was Chinese and I've spent his whole life playing homage to his roots, he's Korean.

edit: For all those that may be interest, he has expressed no desire to contact his birth parents (even when asked) and has stated that for now he prefers to just consider my wife and I his only parents.

edit 2: Per request, I will update when I tell my family the truth.

edit3: I know this is the internet and I can't tell people to stop saying such harsh things, but please know I'm a Human and a Dad. It hurts more than I care to admit. I love my son, I'm not a racist.

Xun posted:

Not r/relationship buuuuttt

TIFU by making a stupid assumption about my adopted son.

Xun posted:

Not r/relationship buuuuttt

TIFU by making a stupid assumption about my adopted son.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Help. I [19F] drove drunk to my best friends [21M] house, puked on his floor and cried to him about random stuff at 3 AM

Daniel gave me coffee while he cleaned the vomit off the carpet, then he gave me a shower and had to take vomit off my hair and said that I reeked of alcohol and weed. He saw me naked and I'm freaking the gently caress out not knowing if he washed me out of friendliness or what but I've never had a reason to doubt his kindness before.

maskenfreiheit posted:

one way to make it up to him might be to not insinuate he's rapey for cleaning his vomit encrusted drunk friend who showed up at 3am in serious emotional distress

Drunk Nerds posted:

As a guy who has had to wash up his vomit covered, really attractive female friends on more than one occasion, I can definitively say that it is not sexy in the slightest.

Problem Sleuth posted:

Speak for yourself

Drunk Nerds posted:

Yah, I guess there is always that incel creep possibility. Although her stating that he is not like that was enough to convince me.

Milotic posted:

Thoughts on moving in but keeping separate bedrooms?

quote:

Hello /r/relationships, i apologize in advance for my story might not be very coherent, i'm still trying to piece what i feel together but i somehow managed to corner myself without realizing it and i feel like poo poo. I've been with my BF for 3 years now, we met as FWB first for a while.

He developed feelings for me really quickly and wanted us to become both officials and exclusive, despite my reluctance at first i caved after a couple month and i never had to regret it as i'm now head over heels in love with him and think he's the best think that ever happened to me.

That being said, my libido gradually diminished over time to his chagrin and we struggled with that for a while. I stopped taking the pill and things improved a little bit but i still feel like crap for how things unfolds as i'm reallyu the one responsible for it.

Lately i developped a huge crush on a friend i talk with online, and noticed how it made me happier and positively affected our sex life, and all of this made me think a lot about consifering polyamory. I read a lot of books, talked with some poly friends and, as ashamed as i am, allowed myself to explore my feelings for other boys, never acted on it but i do know it would be possible if i really wanted to. After a while, i couldn't take it anymore and tried to bring to issue with my BF, trying to suggest poly relationship or at least get his opinion on it, and the result was disatrous.

As the subtle hints didn't seem to work at all, i tried to have a serious talk with him and, to his credit, he listened the whole time without interrupting me or asking questions. I explained to him how i felt about me, my feelings in our relationship and couldn't stress enough how much i love him and would never do anything that hurts him, i just couldn't hide from him the way i feel.I didn't try to hide the crush i had about other boys and reassured him nothing happened at all nor would happen that he's not 100% okay with it.

I tried to make him understand how being free and happy would enrich our relationship and i felt i did a good job at it, and finally told him that since it was a lot to process i'd appreciate he'd take some time to think before answering me, to avoid emotionnal reaction. Again, he was amazing and thanked me for being honest and that he'd try to not make me wait too long before saying anything but that he'd need some time alone.

The next day was unbearable to me but we met again, and his answer was pretty straightforward :

No.

He's not okay with a poly relationship, he'll never be okay and has absolutely no desire to overcome his jealousy insecurity or whatever is required to overcome as he doesn't have to in order to be happy he also told me i'd better put an end to my casual flirting with my crush.

I was definitely not expecting him to be happy with this, i had prepared tons of arguments and trivia about jealousy and relationships to answer his eventual questions but this definitive answer still blindsided me, i learned he'd done his homework and read a ton of stuff about poly relationships and just decided it was not gonna happen.

He then asked me "Now is it gonna be a problem? I'm glad you opened up for me and i know this is not the answer you want, but i don't want you to resent me for being happy in our monogamous relationship so please tell me, will you resent me and be sad if it's just the two fo us? "
I honestly had no idea at all, but his resolve scared the crap out of me and i said i was okay out of fear that he'd dump me on the spot if i said otherwise.

Now he won't talk about this again and has been distant and hurt since, and i'm left wondering if i could have done anything better or if i just found a guy that is indeed, happily monogamous and confident with his choices and there's nothing i can do about it.

I love him to death but i don't know how i could salvage the situation; i feel i should kept my mouth shut.

tl;dr: Tried to suggest poly to my boyfriend, and he's adamant that it will NEVER happen ever and that if i try to pester him again about it, we're done as a couple. I'm frustrated, more by his answer than the situation. How can i deal with this?

Haifisch posted:

I [25 F] think i'm poly, my BF [29 M] of 3 years shot me down pretty hard, dunno what to do. [xpost /polyamory]