Haifisch posted:

Oh, turns out she posted it on reddit too. The comments are tearing her apart.

MF_James posted:

Glad you quoted this or I would have missed it, Mirthless posted a good thing, what the gently caress, should I unblock him?!?

ArbitraryC posted:

Aside from this being generally awesome and absolutely the correct response to someone trying to ask you to open your relationship. I googled it to find the comments and it turns out not only was the OP deleted (which I had assumed from the screenshot) but someone actually went through and deleted all the comments in what had been a pretty popular thread.

I wonder what happened.

MF_James posted:

Glad you quoted this or I would have missed it, Mirthless posted a good thing, what the gently caress, should I unblock him?!?

Sarcophallus posted:

It's still there. Not sure whether I'm allowed to direct link tbh, but the last post 2 pages ago has her username.

Mirthless posted:

If there's one thing I've learned from this thread, it's that the definition of what is and isn't acceptable in a poly relationship is set by the person who pressured their partner into the poly relationship

Adam Vegas posted:

I think Mirthless has been pretty solidly great in this thread since his return.

Mirthless posted:

the first two months I was posting in this thread last year I was working through a psychotic episode which may have had an effect on my posting quality, in hindsight

Mirthless posted:

the first two months I was posting in this thread last year I was working through a psychotic episode which may have had an effect on my posting quality, in hindsight

buy a test kit before you take drugs you bought off the internet, kids

MF_James posted:

I recommend not buying RCs off the internet anymore friend, shaking the dice with your life/sanity is a bad thing.

Clark Nova posted:

Captain Awkward is a lady. She has good responses for non-romantic boundary setting/social interaction stuff, but there was at least one other poly-related post a few weeks ago where I found the submitter to be pretty infuriating.

waggles posted:

So I'm going on my first date in ~8 years in a week and do you goons have any good ideas/ etiquette on getting a second date? So far I'm planning to split checks/ cover tips at restaurants and stay quiet during movies.

Adam Vegas posted:

I think Mirthless has been pretty solidly great in this thread since his return.

waggles posted:

So I'm going on my first date in ~8 years in a week and do you goons have any good ideas/ etiquette on getting a second date? So far I'm planning to split checks/ cover tips at restaurants and stay quiet during movies.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

quote:

#933: “Should two bisexual, polyamorous sisters date the same guy?”

Dear Captain Awkward,

Context: My sister and I are incredibly close and talk about everything. We grew up in a Charismatic Christian home. We’ve spent a long time trying to work out The Right Thing, first as Christians, now on our own. These days we’re both happier, but it’s still difficult trying to figure out if I feel guilty because the situation warrants it, or if it’s a hangover from religion.

Current day: We live together, we’re both bisexual and poly. My sister is currently seeing a small group of lovely people who’re all involved with each other. I haven’t been in a polyamorous relationship to date, but I also identify as poly.

One of my sister’s partners and I have had some flirty chemistry for a while. Over the holidays that went from light physical affection to an enjoyable makeout session. (My sister knew about us getting handsy and kissing btw).

Now my sister and I are discussing the possibilities of whether I should date him as well, and what could happen as a result. We’ve tried to cover all the bases (it’d be awkward if one of us stopped seeing him, how the group would handle it, who goes to parties with him, etc) and are currently at an impasse.

Neither of us wants to police the other’s behavior. She won’t tell me I can’t date him because she doesn’t feel that’s her right and she wants me to be happy. I don’t want to date him if it’s going to cause any harm or hurt to our relationship or her relationship with any of her partners.

To add more context, this isn’t the first time someone has been interested in both of us, (though we’ve not yet dated the same person). It’s ranged from more emotionally complex (her ex-husband, an ex-boyfriend) to a guy we got to know at different times. We have similar tastes in a lot of things and we get along very well, and people are drawn to that. (We also both have anxiety over everything, be it big or little, lol.)

I desperately don’t want to hurt anyone here, mostly my sister. I know I have a tendency to shut things down before they have a chance to develop, partly out of self-preservation. Realistically I know this won’t be the last person I have chemistry with and it won’t kill me not to date him. At the same time, it’s been a while since I’ve been attracted to someone and enjoyed being around someone this much.

I also don’t want to not take a risk simply because it’s unconventional or complicated.

Any advice is muchly appreciated.

Anxious Sister

waggles posted:

So I'm going on my first date in ~8 years in a week and do you goons have any good ideas/ etiquette on getting a second date? So far I'm planning to split checks/ cover tips at restaurants and stay quiet during movies.

waggles posted:

So I'm going on my first date in ~8 years in a week and do you goons have any good ideas/ etiquette on getting a second date? So far I'm planning to split checks/ cover tips at restaurants and stay quiet during movies.

waggles posted:

I'm the girl in the date, and I already texted him that marriage is smelling each other's farts in the morning. I just don't want to seem like a nut job but I also don't quite know what to expect.

*What's funny is that we're around the same height (me 5'2 and him 5'4) and probably the same weight too.

Clark Nova posted:

Found it, but in hindsight it wasn't very interesting, so instead have the story of Jerry Sizzler and Jerry Sizzler:

Beachcomber posted:

Is "Charismatic Christian" code for Jesus cult?

waggles posted:

Also, the day before I'm going to be under to get a tooth removed, will I still be loop afterwards? The tooth removal will give me an excuse to go to Sweet Frogs.

waggles posted:

Also, the day before I'm going to be under to get a tooth removed, will I still be loop afterwards? The tooth removal will give me an excuse to go to Sweet Frogs.

Barudak posted:

If you're high on painkillers youre gonna be a date hell never forget.

quote:

So there is a girl at my college who I remember from High School. I thought she was pretty back then but I never talked to her or anything (she was one grade below me so I didn't see her much, though once she showed up to the history club that I was an officer for). Anyway I had other crushes then and kind of forgot about her when I got to college, until I started seeing her around campus when she started here last year. I'm currently single (as always, I've never been on a date with a girl in my life) but I'm looking to find someone to date. I think this girl is pretty cute and would like to talk to her, but I have very little opportunity to do so because I have no classes with her, don't know her name or much of anything about her beyond what I can deduce from her appearance, and only occasionally see her in the dining hall, in the library, or walking around campus.
I'm trying to think of a non-creepy way to approach her, talk to her for a bit, and see if I can get her number and/or ask her to get frozen yogurt some time (there's a nice place for that on campus). Currently, the only thing I can think of is if I get lucky enough to see her eating alone at one of the counters in the dining hall (while she's not reading or listening to music or looking at her laptop or anything) I could approach her and say something like "Hey, did you go to [name of our High School]?" and then transition into asking if I can sit with her to eat and hopefully start a conversation, and before I leave ask if I can get her number.
Is this a good idea, or is there a better way to approach this? (I guess "do nothing" is an option, too.)
In case it helps in giving me advice, I guess I'll try to describe her a bit. She seems a bit shy and introverted from what I can tell, maybe even somewhat standoffish, though it's all just assumptions since I've never talked to her. She has a slightly gothic or alternative appearance to her, though nothing too extreme (I might describe her as "Burtonesque" if that makes any sense), and she sometimes wears a Master of Puppets t-shirt (Metallica is a band that I also like, so that's cool). I do sometimes see her talking to and eating with other people though so I know she's not a total loner or anything. It's just that I don't necessarily expect a really bubbly reaction that I might get from a more "mainstream" girl when I ask if she went to my High School.
Thanks for the advice.

Beachcomber posted:

Is "Charismatic Christian" code for Jesus cult?

Pvt.Scott posted:

From a layman perspective, that is an incredibly safe position to hold.

Beachcomber posted:

Is "Charismatic Christian" code for Jesus cult?

quote:

So I bit a coworker yesterday. Obviously, I’m mortified.

I work in an incredibly dysfunctional office. The tone is set by our office manager. He’s in his fifties, has always worked in an office setting, and is difficult. Things are right if it’s in his favor and wrong if anyone else does it. He once cursed at me and called me a child for asking him not to say I’m prettier if I smile. He then didn’t speak to me for a year — which was a relief.

Well, yesterday, I had a meeting with a coworker. (If it makes a difference, the office manager and I are on the same level, as is the person I was meeting with.) My hands were full of paperwork and a full mug. When I got to the coworker’s office, the office manager was in the doorway, braced with one arm stretched across the opening. I stopped, said, “Excuse me, I have a meeting.” Aaaaaand he refused to move. He replied that he didn’t give a s*** and it wasn’t his problem. The coworker grimaced but said nothing, as is usual for our office.

Normally, I’d sit and argue. Rarely, I’m able to convince him to move. In those cases, I’d put down my things in the office and wait for the colleague and him to finish speaking. They don’t work together or like each other, but they angry-gossip frequently.

This time — this time I bit him. I don’t know! His arm was in front of my face, my hands were full, I know from experience he almost never moves, and I’m reaaaaally busy right now.

In any case, I bit him, over his sleeve, pulled back, and we just sort of stared at each other for a second, because … wow. He finally got his feet under him, figuratively, and retaliated by stomping on my feet (I was in ballet flats and he had heeled dress shoes) and shoving me. As I’m regaining my balance and trying to save my feet, I dropped my mug, which shattered. At that point, he stopped and bent to pick up the shards. I ducked into the office and shut and locked the door. Not helping him pick up the shards angered him more.

I’ve since apologized. He accepted gracefully, while admitting no fault on his part.

This office is bad. It’s warping my perceptions of normal behavior. I know there is no one above us who would address this issue with him and short of quitting, I have to deal with him every day. What is the right way to deal with difficult coworkers in these situations? Just keep arguing? Walk away and reschedule the meeting? There are no magic words to deal with impossible people, but how do I reason with myself mentally to stop myself from going down this road again?

Thank you for considering my question. I suppose most everything is solved by “walking away,” but I feel helpless and clearly spiral a bit into wild behavior when at a loss…

waggles posted:

I'm the girl in the date, and I already texted him that marriage is smelling each other's farts in the morning. I just don't want to seem like a nut job but I also don't quite know what to expect.

*What's funny is that we're around the same height (me 5'2 and him 5'4) and probably the same weight too.

ThePeavstenator posted:

I think it's probably something like "unitarian youth bible group lead by 30 y/o in a sweater playing a guitar"

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

they are the ones that speak in tongues, right?

ThePeavstenator posted:

I think it's probably something like "unitarian youth bible group lead by 30 y/o in a sweater playing a guitar"