LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

RIP Lisa Lopes.

We Know Catheters posted:

I like mourning arsonists too

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Silly Burrito posted:

Movies don't have to stick to strict science though. I mean, we're already talking about a five headed shark here. The potential for a range of possible shark asses is limitless.

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

We Know Catheters posted:

I like mourning arsonists too

Burt Sexual posted:

I guess that's about a comic book or a 20 yr old game. Either way grow up.

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

shut up blegum posted:

Idgi

prefect posted:

John Big Booty posted:

Darth Sans. Only you could be so bold.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Isn't Kylo Ren already Darth Ben?

Barudak posted:

How were you born with such a nonfunctional self preservatiom imstinct? Is there some sort of toxoplasmosis but for other humans?

Duckbag posted:

I won't rest until someone makes a an alternate history prestige drama set in a world where I got my poo poo together after high school.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Isn't Kylo Ren already Darth Ben?

Low Desert Punk posted:

Tanith posted:

Pangs of shame aren't normally localized to the right ankle, what's the deal with the pitcher in this one?

SiKboy posted:

They are linked. Whatever happens to the batter is instead felt by the pitcher. Its called "The pitcher of Dorian Grey".

Avenging_Mikon posted:

No? One, as far as I know, he's not a Sith Lord, two, you know "Vader" wasn't his name?

Syd Midnight posted:

Nordick posted:

SiKboy posted:

They are linked. Whatever happens to the batter is instead felt by the pitcher. Its called "The pitcher of Dorian Grey".

purple death ray posted:

gently caress off nerd

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I love when people make that reference. Never gets old.

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

the lovely puns literally never stop

Charles Bukowski posted:

I never finished that book. Does he chug miles of cock like the beginning suggests?

theflyingorc posted:

shut up

Improbable Lobster posted:

gently caress off

Charles Bukowski posted:

I never finished that book. Does he chug miles of cock like the beginning suggests?

Solice Kirsk posted:

So, I determined that there's a few ways to look at whether semen or pineapple would be better on a ham pizza. Flavor, nutritional benefit, and visual appeal. Since there's those three I determined that I'm going to write this post in the traditional 5 paragraph style as taught in all US 4th grade classrooms.


SEMEN OR PINEAPPLE, WHICH IS BEST OR; OUR FRIEND THE PIZZA TOPPING

Pizza has been around since the early 10th century according to Wikipedia, which I believe is sometime in the 1700's. Over the years there have been many pizza topping and even more pizza rules, but as time has moved on into a more enlightened era we now know that there are no pizza rules. Since the dissolution of the pizza rules there has been an increase in odd topping combinations, and none has seen the backlash quite as much as the pineapple/semen with ham debate. Over the next few paragraphs I will go over the differences and benefits of both toppings in the pairing with ham in the categories of flavor, nutritional value, and visual appeal.

First, of all pineapple would make a better pairing with ham since it is sweet and the ham will be salty. Add the acidity of the tomato sauce and the creaminess of the cheese and you have a fairly well balanced flavor profile. With semen, however, there will be two different salty flavors competing on top of the cheese and tomato sauce. Either one would fill the roll well enough on it's own and therefore both do not need to be included on a single pizza. In this category pineapple is a clear winner.

Secondly, pineapple has a lot more nutritional value as compared to semen. Take a look:



A great source of vitamin C and decent amounts of iron, vitamin A, and calcium. The serving size is measured in grams, and being an American I'm not quite sure how much of a pineapple is represented by 165g, so I'm assuming it's about 4-5 "chunks" worth. Compare that to the nutritional value of semen as determined by Gawker:



Almost no nutritional value at all besides zinc and copper, both of which are better for making sinks than for contributing to an active bodies needs. The serving size is much smaller (I'm assuming) than the 165g of pineapple, so there probably going to be several "loads" worth on a pizza of any decent size, but will still not come (heh) close to the caloric or nutritional value of pineapple. Pinapple wins this one as well.

Thirdly, there's the visual appeal. Pineapple has a yellowy color that will contrast well with the pink hue of ham. Placed along side the brown and white of the cheese and the red of the underlying tomato sauce and you have a visually pleasing arrangement of colors that dazzle the eye as well as intrigue the taste buds. Semen is a whitish color and therefore will be competing with the cheese for visual attention. It will also be drizzled or glopped on after cooking which doesn't give the same sort of cohesiveness of a topping that was baked along with the rest of the pizza. Pineapple is yet again the clear winner of this category.

In conclusion, the obvious and only logical choice of pizza topping between semen and pineapple is semen because I'm gay.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

if at the end of the year you have the most hosed up still-alive baby you win a prize, it's like the westminister dog show but for people

divabot posted:

Had a GF whose favourite thing was to hit me across the face with her boobs. You wouldn't believe something so soft and squishy could pack such a punch

"Calm your tits"
"NO!" *whack*

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Do you live in an anime?

The Vosgian Beast posted:

Australia's basically an anime, let's be real here

Screaming Idiot posted:

Fuckin notice me senpai, ya fuckin oval office

Pick posted:

age gap, aspergers. they go hand in hand. every woman his age has already dated one of these and learned her lesson and got the gently caress out. he's a relict, let him die that way

precision posted:

I feel like jumping right to age gaps is something with a story behind it

Lime Tonics posted:

BiggerBoat posted:

Not really seeing the problem here beyond the fact that I don't live wherever that is.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Yeah it's against the law to have three blowjob queens in the same place.

grittyreboot posted:

You can't have two blowjob queens. One of these girls is a blowjob noblewoman at best.

Hjalmar posted:

They are both queens from different blowjob queendoms, clearly. Y'all need to read more Oglaf if this is at all confusing to you.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

I am the blowjob queen, kneel before me. No wait, I got that backwards