Pick posted:

pretentious turd man

quote:

Hi Reddit. I can use some help here. I recently started dating a woman for 4 months. Things are going great. Until last week.

On Friday, one of my ex-coworker invited me to a party. The party is 3 hours away from my home. I didn't really want to go. 3 hours drive, drinking, sounds like a bad idea. So I asked my girlfriend to come with me. She said no, she is very tired, but she encouraged me to go and have fun. And I knew something is not right from the start. He kept insisting me going to the party. Something just doesn't feel right.

So, I told my ex-coworker that I will go but with the long drive and drinking. It is not a good idea. So he said he will have someone to pick me up.

Long story short, it was a girl that picked me up. I worked with her before. So when I saw her, I didn't think much of it. I just get in the car and say things like hi, haven't see you in a long time. How are things with you.

Then all of sudden, she told me that she has feeling for me. At this point, I felt very uncomfortable. I felt like I am doing something wrong. I asked her to take me back home. She said no worry. We are not going to a party. We are going to have some fun ourselves. At this point, I felt like a dumbass even get into her car in the first place. I asked her again to take me home, she refused. So I decided to get out of the car and walk home.

Shortly after, I told my girlfriend everything that happened. She was skeptical and I can understand that. She had alot of people cheated on her from her past relationships. So I can see that from her point of views. Later, I found out that my coworker is trying to set me up with this girl. Granted that not many people know about my new relationship yet.

She said we need a break now and it is on edge to break up with me. I wish I can undo what happened, but at the same time. I feel so powerless and I don't know what to do. She is right that if the table turned. I wouldn't want her to be in a car with a man for 3 hours drive either. So I can understand that.

I really care about this woman, but I don't know how to fix this.

Any advice will be welcome. Thanks

*TL;DR * girlfriend is considering breaking up with me for someone trying to set me up. I don't know how to fix it.

Gorilla Salad posted:

How many rounds from a 9mm before a clydesdale would even notice it was being shot?

Danaru posted:

My (39M) 4months gf (43f) want to break up with, because someone try to set me up with another girl.

The Lone Badger posted:

One. Guns are loud and horses don't like loud noises.

quote:

Mr Smith, who is raising funds to fix his broken window, wrote that he was on a Tinder date with the woman and they went back to the shared house he lives in.

"We'd had a really nice evening," he said. "We'd had a meal at a well-known chicken restaurant, had a few beers and then gone back to mine for a bottle of wine and a film."

He said the woman went to the toilet and when she came back she had a "panicked look in her eye" and told him what she had done.

He said the toilet window opened into a narrow gap separated by another double glazed window.

"It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo," he said.

He went to find a hammer to smash the window, but she decided to "climb in head first" after the "offending package" and became jammed.

"I was starting to grow concerned, so I called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window."

Although the woman was rescued unharmed, Mr Smith said his bathroom window was destroyed.

"I'm not complaining, they did what they had to do," he said.

"Problem is, I've been quoted north of £300 to replace the window and as a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of my monthly budget."
Mr Smith originally set a crowdfunding target of £200, but has already raised more than £1,200.

He said he and his date had decided to split the extra cash between two charities, one supporting firefighters and another that builds and maintains flushing toilets in developing countries.

Unsurprisingly, the woman does not want to be named but Mr Smith said he had seen her since and "who knows what the future holds".

"We had a lovely night on the second date but it's too early to say if she's the one. But we got on very very well and she's a lovely girl," he said.
"And we've already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first."

Mirthless posted:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

Woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo after Tinder date

Pick posted:

There are definitely multiple food/penis schema, but I definitely know the donut one and yes there's probably a way to make it cruel. I mean cosmo also had that tip where you get him all excited and then you flick the tip of his dick really hard with your fingernails or pinch him on the balls . look we're trying is my point.

Pick posted:

There are definitely multiple food/penis schema, but I definitely know the donut one and yes there's probably a way to make it cruel. I mean cosmo also had that tip where you get him all excited and then you flick the tip of his dick really hard with your fingernails or pinch him on the balls . look we're trying is my point.

Mirthless posted:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

Woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo after Tinder date

Mirthless posted:

other things cosmo has advocated for: biting during oral, gently stabbing your partner's genitals with a fork

wrt: sex advice... Cosmo is not a good publication!!!!!

maskenfreiheit posted:

I feel like I missed a key point... so she threw her own poo poo into a gap between the buildings? Then came out and was like my poo poo bag is stuck and then went after it and got stuck? Was the toilet clogged?

England is weird.

Fil5000 posted:

The poo poo wouldn't flush (I assume a floater) and apparently she panicked, picked it up with toilet paper and threw it out the window. Then came out the bathroom and said "Hey, I'm a panicky dumbass and I threw poo poo out your window"

maskenfreiheit posted:

But why retrieve it? Isn't poo poo biodegradable? Might smell but you could just pour boiling water on it and get most of it gone relatively quickly.

England is weird.

Fil5000 posted:

poofenestration

Yawgmoth posted:

New favorite portmanteau.

Bubblyblubber posted:

Speak for yourself there buddy, a handjob is a handjob even if it is a nightmarish congregation of spider limbs on your dong.

It might also be a dick move, like so:

Me [30 F] recently discovered fiancé [39 M] was cheating on me with handjobs and eventually sex with a massage escort. Now I'm single and panicking. Relationships


Or a sign of a retarded teenager like this:

Me[16F]&my friend [17F] made out with the same guy [18M]. He told everyone about her handjob but only said he talked with me. Friend is angry with me Non-Romantic


Or a totally above board safe and innocent thing like this:

Might lose the girl I love because I was looking for handjobs on Craigslist, need help or advice. Personal issues


The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS: That Pig Image > /r/relationships: a stupid semen fetish

Tale As Old As Time posted:

First time posting. My wife and I have been swinging for about 2 years and we just recently agreed to try having an open marriage and it went disastrously for me.

With 24 hours of establishing her online dating profile she slept with the first guy she found appealing. Then she slept with 2 more guys in a single evening while I was out on my first and only date, 3 days after the first encounter and then another guy a day or so after that.

She claims she used protection each and every time and that this is purely a physical thing for her.

I have slept with one girl since this began but am devastated at her recklessness of it all. Yes I know I agreed to it and that is my fault for doing so but there needs to be a happy median in this situation somehow and sleeping with 4 strangers inside of a week to doing this is not that.

Respectful and honest opinions are appreciated. I need to know that I am not crazy for feeling the way I do on this.

EDIT #1 I also have to explain that there have been other non-physical issues that have come from this as well that have influenced the way I feel. One being that I was originally expected to be away for my upcoming bday, in speaking with her i asked that she not have sex with anyone on my bday, to which she argued with me about the need to do so as I was going to be away regardless. I asked her, had I not asked her to refrain from loving anyone on my actual birthday would she have gone ahead and done so and she said yes, that she would have had i not asked her to. It's these kinds of things that I feel are incredibly disrespectful and show where her true priorities lie.

Fil5000 posted:

I think it's because the poo poo landed right outside the window in a place where it would stink whenever the window was opened. And there was no way to get to that space to remove it without going through the window. And the guy didn't want to leave it there stinking.

And yeah, we're weird for a lot of reasons, but I assure you that poofenestration hasn't been standard here since we discovered plumbing and sewerage.

CheesyDog posted:

CheesyDog posted:

Tale As Old As Time posted:

CheesyDog posted:

Bertrand Hustle posted:

I know "Pick bad, so what" is a meme on these dead gay forums but I giggled like an idiot at "pretentious turd man".

You're alright, Pick.

Outrail posted:

"Hey BM, have you heard of Herbalife? It's really changed my life and I want it to change yours... I really hope you'll be supportive of my small business."

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

Super bad call, she's as likely as not to excitedly agree and hope they can support each other's MLM schemes.

You cannot expect someone stuck in MLM to detect irony, they are already rear end-deep in cognitive dissonance. I know someone who used to try to sell magic wine.

CheesyDog posted:

CheesyDog posted:

A tale as old as time

Clark Nova posted:

It makes life tolerable for the space of an evening

Clark Nova posted:

This one is pretty exceptional because she managed to get out and start banging dudes in less than a day. He doesn't explicitly say he's the one who pushed for an open relationship but it would be even funnier if he were.

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

It was "Mona Vie" and it was just your usual superfood bullshit - they claim the acai berries they allegedly make the wine out of will make everything better.

HazCat posted:

Why would a woman want an open relationship? If she wanted to bang a bunch of guys she'd just stay single.

If you open a relationship with a woman, you are effectively telling her you have nothing to offer her and she'd be better off single (and thus free from dealing with your pouting about her sexual conquests).

HazCat posted:

Why would a woman want an open relationship? If she wanted to bang a bunch of guys she'd just stay single.

If you open a relationship with a woman, you are effectively telling her you have nothing to offer her and she'd be better off single (and thus free from dealing with your pouting about her sexual conquests).

quote:

My boyfriend Daniel (changed name) [25/M] and I [25/F] have been exclusive for two weeks. He's half black half white and I'm white. My parents are older southern folks, so I knew this wasn't going to go over smoothly, especially with my "hang the confederate flag on MLK day" father [61/M].

Daniel and I met on an online dating site. After our first date I was so excited to tell my mom [55/F] about how great the date went. Then I told her about him being half black half white. We have had conversations about interracial dating before and she said that would be something she would have to get used to. She was a little taken aback, but happy that I was happy.

Then my dad came in the room. My mom encouraged me to tell him about my date so I told him every positive thing about him I knew my dad would like and left out the part about his race. My dad said "As long as he makes you happy." I thought "I will keep that in mind."

My dad attempted to convince others he wasn't racist. "It's Robert E. Lee Day, that's why I'm flying this flag", "The confederate flag represents state's rights, not slavery." etc. Other than the fact my mom said my dad didn't like the interracial romantic interest in the Wild Thornberries movie, I haven't heard him say anything about interracial couples.

Daniel and I hit it off so well we decide to be exclusive after the third date. Note: The last relationship I was in was on and off over the course of 8 years, so I don't know how many dates you're supposed to go on before making it official. I was told by friends and family I should tell my dad about Daniel's race before things get serious so maybe he will have time to adjust.

I sat my dad down and told him that I was dating a half black man. My dad responded with "I will need some time to let that sink in." and left the room. Him not blowing up right there gave me hope. False hope.

My mom texted me a few days later and told me "It's not going to be good." My mother gave me a heads up saying he wants to cut me off (I'm a grad student) and cut me out. I couldn't believe it. My mom told me not to tell Daniel until my dad has made a decision.

A week and a half or so later my mom wanted me to come by the house to see her and "face the music" with my dad. That I did. He started with "You're an adult and can make your own decisions. Just know those decisions have consequences." My dad told me he and I will not have a relationship if I continue to date Daniel. He said he would deny being a grandfather to any children I may have with someone not white. He said "I don't care if this hurts your feelings because you clearly don't care about mine." He told me he would never ever accept it. He said he would shoot himself in the face before ever accepting this. So on and so forth. He didn't give any reason for disowning me other than "It may be because I grew up this way. But you asking me to accept it is like asking me to say God doesn't exist. It's not who I am." He let me respond. I told him he never told me how strongly he felt about this and I asked why he didn't like it. He said "You just never listened. It's wrong."

My concern isn't my relationship with my father. If he's willing to disown me because I choose to date someone half black, he's not worth keeping in my life even if I wasn't in an interracial relationship. I'm concerned with how things will be in the future. How would my future with Daniel look if my dad refuses to be in the same room with him? My mom is still married to my dad, so my dad will be there during all holidays. Will I have to avoid seeing my family on holidays because of my dad's bigotry? In a way I'm asking for advice on how to deal with a hateful parent that's still married to the parent you love dearly.

TL;DR: Dad plans to disown me if I continue dating a half black man. I'm going to let him disown me but in turn will make holidays challenging. Has this happened to anyone else? How have you dealt with it?

Haifisch posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

Cut to the chase and dad.

quote:

He said that said that he decided to cut off her college money because she has been spoiled and “it became obvious that she needed to go out in the world and grow up”.