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Bertrand Hustle posted:The girlfriend is super insecure. It doesn't read like she's an idiot, more like she feels threatened by her law student boyfriend and his smart friends. The more he tries to call her on it, the more defensive she'll get, because "you're trying too hard to sound smart" sounds an awful lot like "you're not smart" to somebody who already feels like they have to try to impress everyone. Sadly insecurities like those don't tend to go away easily especially when the person refuses to have a civilized discussion about them no matter how sensitively the matter is brought up. The right answer would be therapy but that's hard and the usual outcome is a break up and the insecure person finding a partner who doesn't trigger their insecurities as they can't overcome them otherwise. Palpek fucked around with this message at 10:10 on Sep 25, 2017 |
# ? Sep 25, 2017 10:05 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 04:07 |
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Pick posted:"but I'm right and they're wrong!!!!" is the calling card of someone who, right or wrong, is going to make a lot of problems for themselves in life You sound like a pretty big pushover.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 11:39 |
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Bertrand Hustle posted:The girlfriend is super insecure. It doesn't read like she's an idiot, more like she feels threatened by her law student boyfriend and his smart friends. The more he tries to call her on it, the more defensive she'll get, because "you're trying too hard to sound smart" sounds an awful lot like "you're not smart" to somebody who already feels like they have to try to impress everyone. The girlfriend is legit not smart, and her boyfriend is going to need to accept that if he's going to date her. You can be proud of her for her workplace accomplishments all you like, but she's not going to stop saying idiot things to your friends because she's an idiot. She's exhibiting the 'too dumb to recognise that she's dumb' part of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Just accept that your relationship is built on fremdschämen and that your friends increasingly suspect you're only with her for the sex and roll with it.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 11:59 |
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Ahh, the fun of country life, where your closest neighbour isn't even necessarily visible from your house and you still find many ways to fight over boundaries. See also why pretty much all modern housing developments have huge fences. And you want a seperate inner fence for the pool. Otherwise children, animals and idiots will insist on injuring and killing themselves on your property and blaming you for it.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 12:20 |
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C.H.O.M.E posted:You sound like a pretty big pushover. Not at all, it is a really important skill to recognize when a principled stand will make a difference and when it won't.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 12:23 |
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Haifisch posted:Neighbor kids keep coming on my dad's property, which is used for hunting. KY "We want them off our property so we can hunt safely" what a loving dork
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 12:25 |
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abigserve posted:"We want them off our property so we can hunt safely" what a loving dork Did anyone do a "the most dangerous game" joke? Smirking_Serpent posted:Gf [24F] is insecure about her intelligence among my classmates/colleagues at law school. Starts unnecessary, cringe-y debates and uses words incorrectly. How do I [26M] ask her to stop without hurting her feelings? It's just a facetious conflagration of catch-22's all over. Also just tell her your friends are too intimidated by her and she needs to stop making them feel bad.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 12:38 |
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Pick posted:Not at all, it is a really important skill to recognize when a principled stand will make a difference and when it won't. Use "use my driveway because you sold yours without thinking about it" is absolutely not acceptable. Sometimes it costs money to make your dumb neighbors gently caress off, but having them driving on your property and potentially loving things up that you exclusively pay to maintain is not something a reasonable person is going to compromise on. What happens if they drive drunk and knock something over? They sold their own driveway so you obviously can't expect them to act responsibly. Absolutely not worth the risk.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 12:50 |
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If law school dude thinks his girlfriend is bad now, he should imagine what his life will be like when he's a practicing lawyer and her dumb rear end is still embarrassing him in front of other attorneys and clients. Maybe the sex is just that amazing...
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 12:54 |
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How do I [31 M] answer this question from girl [28 F] I've been dating 3mths: "How was guys night out?" Try to imagine how big a dipshit you'd have to be to ask this question quote:Pretend I grew up under a rock, okay? I don't do half the stuff most people do including going out and drinking at all. I didn't grow up with any female family members and we had Zero family drama. My personality is a little wonky and I relate to women way differently than every other man I've seen. Lots of things go way over my head- I can't stress this enough. "You're overthinking this and will drive yourself insane" quote:I'd rather drive myself insane than have a romantic partner do it for me. Speaking from experience. There went my 20s. Thanks for the response and take care. "Only a massively insecure woman would make this a loaded question, just answer normally" quote:They deserve love too, and there are more of them than most people think. Yeah, I suppose I am free to leave her on the curb with my household trash. Thank you for your response. etc
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 13:04 |
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'How was the guys' night out? *has a meltdown* 'What are you doing tomorrow?' *collapses* 'What would you like to do on the weekend?' *has a spontaneous human combustion*
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 13:28 |
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Buzkashi posted:On a different note, it feels like a kotaku elephant has walked into the room. When even your auto-correct errors are insufferably nerdy.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 13:43 |
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Straight White Shark posted:Tell them they can use your road for a week or two while you work on a more permanent solution. Then build a brick wall between your private drive and the property line. Good fences make good neighbors. as discussed in the article, "using it once" may set a precedence for future use. Also, buried near the end of that article was a revelation that the land had a leaky underground oil tank. That's probably going to run at least $10,000 for remediation, odds are this family didn't have that kind of money in the first place.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 14:14 |
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Moon Atari posted:When even your auto-correct errors are insufferably nerdy. Yeah that's not an auto-correct error, he's shouting at his audience for implying he's being a misogynistic weirdo, it's like a really frou-frou way of invoking the ESS JAY DOUBLES "Kotaku", "Feminism", "The SJWs", "Ethics in Videogames Journalism", etc phrases when seen in casual use on Reddit are generally dogwhistles for I HATE WOMEN just ftr Mirthless fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Sep 25, 2017 |
# ? Sep 25, 2017 14:24 |
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Buy insecure idiot argument woman an account
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 14:47 |
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Palpek posted:'How was the guys' night out?
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 14:59 |
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The friendship between me [26F] and my friend [46 M] is turning into a trainwreck. Is he the problem, or am I over-reacting? So when I moved here, I met a guy. Let's call him James. He was nice, into the same poo poo I was, and I didn’t have many friends, so I was grateful to have someone. At this point, I identified as gay. He made it clear he was into me when we first started hanging out, and I politely shot him down, (Due to the fact he's 20 years older than me and I'm not attracted to him), and we went on. He made it clear that being friends with me was fine, and he has a lot of friends, including women, that genuinely are just friends, and of a broad age spectrum. 23-47 would be my guess. (I also have friends now in a broad age spectrum, which is how it's always been for me.) At this point, I was also new in town. I didn’t have many other friends, and I hadn’t been around town, so I didn't have opinions on things. I was still exploring. For a while, things were okay. We went out places, he introduced me to people. We have a friend's group (People right around my age) that does stuff together and we're part of the same DnD groups now. All of this is fine. Until recently. It's been six months and things are now falling apart. Problem #1. When I started going out with a woman named Claire, he ran a background check on her, via his friend at the police department. He found out everything from her high school GPA to her credit score, and then "approved" her for me. When I told him about the latest person I was into, he made it clear he planned to do the same for them, asking for his last name. He lacks boundaries of what's acceptable to do. He thinks because he wants to know something, he has every right to know it. Last Saturday, I had to clean my apartment, I'd been puttig it off for weeks, and I finally snapped. It was really, really bad. I just finished lunch and was about to start cleaning when I received a message from James on Facebook. He had turned on Live Location. And was parked outside my apartment. I told him I wasn't going anywhere, I had to clean. "No, you don't." Yeah, I did. I had to fight with him to get him to stop trying to get me out of the apartment. So he stayed. For 4.5 hours and waited for me to finish cleaning. I did and we went out for pizza. It took me a few days to realize this was not okay. He should've accepted that I didn't want go anywhere and left me alone. Problem #2. He acts entitled to my time and doesn't like it when I am unavailable. I told him that I had a sports thing for work and would miss movie night with our friends. "Skip the thing." It's for charity. "So?" I want to go. "No, you don't, you wanna hang with us." I can do that some other time. I'm sorry. "Just come after." I have no idea how late it will go. "That's fine, come after you're done." Dude, I'm gonna wanna go home and shower. "No, you'll come to move night." (This is a real, almost verbatim, conversation we had in the past week.) So, this weekend, my dad came to visit me for the first time since I moved. I told my friends he was coming a few months back. James immediately asked when he'd be meeting him. "What makes you think you will?" "I meet everyone." I explained to him back on Friday that no one would be meeting my father or my brother. He basically pouted. We were to have a nice, family weekend, and I'd see everyone on Monday. My family showed up Friday evening, and left this morning. They never met my friends, and James has not spoken to me in that time. The longest he's gone without saying anything to me since I moved here. Problem #3 - He acts entitled to my life. If it's happening, he has the right to be a part of it. He doesn't really ask, or wait to be invited. I made sure not to mention places my family and I were in our Facebook group chat (James, I and two other friends) on the fear he would "randomly" show up. I recently enrolled in Community College. I found out how much I would be receiving in financial aid. I expressed to my friends that I was planning on buying a netbook to take to class. My one friend just told me not to feel pressured to buy the one in the campus bookstore, they tend to be cheaply made. I can spend the money anywhere, so I should do my research. If I want help, let him know. James, however, immediately answered, "If I were you, I wouldn't get a netbook." I immediately told him I was telling him what I planned to do. Not asking his opinion. The conversation came to an abrupt halt and we barely spoke to each other for the remainder of the evening. Problem #4 - When I first moved here, I did ask his opinion on things because I was new and didn't know about this place. Now I have plans and opinions of my own making and he acts as though I'm being a b*tch because I'm not tolerating his constant "guidance" anymore. The thing that really tipped the scales and threw everything into mayhem for our friendship was my most recent relationship development. I said there was someone at work I was into. He asked what her name was. "Adam." Me dating women was fine, but when I started dating people who were male and not him, things were... touchy at best. Problem #5 - Things were fine when I was dating women, but as soon as I showed interest in guys who were him, things got awkward. Yes, I did flirt with him. I also flirted with literally all of my other friends. I am a natural flirt. This means nothing and all of my friends know that. One of my male friends, upon finding out about me being bi, dropped a hint he'd be into dating me. I playfully declined and it did not affect our friendship. James is acting as though me dating men who aren't him is some kind of betrayal. For a while, my friend Bianca and I were planning on being roommates with James, 4-bedroom apartments are common around here, and we all hate living alone. It seemed like a good idea. Then Bianca and I talked about it, away from James, and we both agreed it's a terrible idea because James has this attitude that if we are doing something alone, watching TV, playing a video game, we should want to do it with him. Alone time wouldn't exist for either of us. In the words of Bianca, "We would never be able to excuse ourselves from whatever plans he makes." Problem #6. Lack of respect for boundaries. Again. I expressed concerns about being smart enough to get my degree, or qualified to get the job I wanted. "You'll be fine. You'll get it." And not in an encouraging "what can I do?" kind of way. In a condescending way like I'm being ridiculous for having concerns. And he does this about a lot of things. He knows I have an anxiety disorder, so it's like none of my anxieties are rooted in reality. Problem #7. He acts like my concerns and anxieties are just me being silly and he never takes me seriously when I'm unhappy or worried about something. Recently, we went out to lunch with a couple of friends. I was telling our friend Ashton about a comedian on Netflix, (Iliza Shlesinger). I was explaining how much I love her and I feel like if I were a comedian, I'd have the same sense of humor as her. James replied, "All you need is a sense of humor." I asked why he did that, always trying to piss me off randomly. "I do it. I don't try." Fine, why do it at all? "It's how I show love." "If that's love, you can shove it up your rear end, I don't need it." The rest of the meal was awkward between the two of us. Problem 8. He "roasts" me whenever he likes and laughs when I get upset. I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to go home for Christmas because of my family. He started making plans for us to take my car down to Florida to be with his family for the holidays. Problem 9. He acts like we're dating when we're clearly not. He left his hoodie in my car. As a joke, I told him I was keeping it. I expect him to fight for it back. Nope. If anything, he encouraged me to keep it and wear it. I only managed to get him to take it back by throwing it in his car window right before he drove away. tl;dr: Friend has plethora of boundary issues and acts like me dating men who aren't him is some kind of betrayal. Am I right to be upset by this behavior? Should I have known better than to try to have male friends? Or is this just how some guys are?
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 15:24 |
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Palpek posted:'How was the guys' night out?
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 15:25 |
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It's a real shame that you're legally obligated to be friends with creepy men twice your age who have boundary issues and no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It's in the constitution and everything.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 15:58 |
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I feel like he'd just refuse to acknowledge that he'd been unfriended.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:12 |
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what in the hell is wrong with this lady? why would you ever think it was a good idea to be friends with a dude 20+ years older than you who only stopped trying to get into your pants when you told him you were gay? (also, why are you surprised he's offended that you're attracted to men? That's the problem with sidestepping nice guy syndrome, you're not really getting rid of it, you're just delaying when you're going to have to deal with it.) 46m is a royal creep and the answer to this situation is to get a restraining order, but jesus loving christ i can only have so much sympathy for the awkward social situations people put themselves in and it should have been obvious from the get-go that any friendship with this dude was going to be awkward and problematic
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:17 |
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quote:He acts entitled to my time and doesn't like it when I am unavailable. I told him that I had a sports thing for work and would miss movie night with our friends. "Skip the thing." It's for charity. "So?" I want to go. "No, you don't, you wanna hang with us." I can do that some other time. I'm sorry. "Just come after." I have no idea how late it will go. "That's fine, come after you're done." I want to stab in the eye people who do this
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:27 |
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Mirthless posted:Yeah that's not an auto-correct error, he's shouting at his audience for implying he's being a misogynistic weirdo, it's like a really frou-frou way of invoking the ESS JAY DOUBLES He's a creepy misogynistic weirdo who preys on insecure women, asking Reddit for advice on how to manipulate her into not being mad at him? This dude can't even be human garbage without hand-holding. imo
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:47 |
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Clark Nova posted:It's a real shame that you're legally obligated to be friends with creepy men twice your age who have boundary issues and no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It's in the constitution and everything. She should probably stop flirting with him, too.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:48 |
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Geez why can't the landlocked neighbor just park their car on the street? Having your car not be next to your house isn't the nightmare hellscape most californians seem to think it is. They still need to walk over some property I guess but it can be whoever they sold their land to.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:50 |
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Mirthless posted:Yeah that's not an auto-correct error, he's shouting at his audience for implying he's being a misogynistic weirdo, it's like a really frou-frou way of invoking the ESS JAY DOUBLES Oh, he sucks even more than I thought. My brain glazed over his meandering writing style and tried to interpret his obvious fear of women as a more sympathetic form of social anxiety rather than a side effect of him believing women are horrible bitches.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:52 |
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Kind of assuming the land scenario is rural, though I have no idea whether that might actually be the case. But if it is, there isn't really 'side of the street' so much as 'side of the road', and people are likely to assume a car left there has been abandoned.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 16:57 |
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Father of the year: Ex-wife is suing me in small claims for lost wages when she got fired for me not exercising my parenting time. (self.legaladvice) quote:Posting on behalf of a friend.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:04 |
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quote:Posting on behalf of a friend. Yeah. Right.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:06 |
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Absurd Alhazred posted:It's just a facetious conflagration of catch-22's all over. Buzkashi posted:How do I [31 M] answer this question from girl [28 F] I've been dating 3mths: "How was guys night out?" .
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:08 |
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Possibly something about afraid that if he mentions he plays nerd games it'll drive all women within 30 miles to flee for the hills. I think it's the kind of issues you get when your only experience with women is from high school and pop culture. Romantic comedies have a lot to answer for.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:11 |
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Tabletop gamig is code for baccanalian orgy, with positions and partners decided by rolls overseen by the Dick Master
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:12 |
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On another note, I think the thread's getting tetchy about age gaps, though I have to wonder given how 90% of the time it's considerably older man/younger woman there may be an aspect of 'The economy is hosed and older men are more likely to actually have a steady job and own their own home' but then again half the time they're complete mooches who sit around playing video games all day, soooooo.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:15 |
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[WI] Spouse changed locks and doesn't answer phone, do I have to bring in the local police to enter?quote:There is no divorce pending/filed etc, no court order of any sort. I was staying with my mother for a few days to help her out after a hospital stay. Husband and I talked every day via phone and there was no argument or anything.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:52 |
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Father of the year: *Abandons children in a different state* *Mother of kids flies out, gets fired* "wow it's so unfair that she's trying to pin this on me."
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 17:57 |
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Inescapable Duck posted:On another note, I think the thread's getting tetchy about age gaps, though I have to wonder given how 90% of the time it's considerably older man/younger woman there may be an aspect of 'The economy is hosed and older men are more likely to actually have a steady job and own their own home' but then again half the time they're complete mooches who sit around playing video games all day, soooooo. Because it is overwhelmingly man children preying on insecure young women.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 18:01 |
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Inescapable Duck posted:On another note, I think the thread's getting tetchy about age gaps, though I have to wonder given how 90% of the time it's considerably older man/younger woman there may be an aspect of 'The economy is hosed and older men are more likely to actually have a steady job and own their own home' but then again half the time they're complete mooches who sit around playing video games all day, soooooo. Yeah, it's so weird that people get weird about age gaps when every time they're posted here the older guy is some form of controlling creep. What exactly are you trying to imply here? "Economic Anxiety" is driving women to older men because all they care about is being cared for?
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 18:04 |
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Wait; what is a Kotaku elephant? (My phone apparently knows that word. It's a tech publication right?)
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 18:08 |
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WrenP-Complete posted:Wait; what is a Kotaku elephant? (My phone apparently knows that word. It's a tech publication right?) Kotaku is a video game website. Some people use it as a buzzword for stereotypically left-leaning, hyper-critical, social justice analysis of media. So when the guy used it, he was basically saying that people were being too sensitive/male-hating/denying reality, etc. Elephant just comes from elephant in the room.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 18:14 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 04:07 |
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crave the approval and economic support of a well-to-do older gentleman who is well-heeled enough to be able to afford to do background checks on everyone she associates with.
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# ? Sep 25, 2017 18:19 |