- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Found a good one.
Confessing to my [26/F] boyfriend [25/M] that I was one of the people who bullied him. He has no clue and I'm not sure I should bring it up.
quote:
My boyfriend recently bought an engagement ring, I found the receipt "hidden" in the coffee tin (but not the ring it self) and couldn't be more excited. I'm beyond ready to move onto the next step and can't imagine being with anyone else. But, I feel bad that he doesn't know/remember that I bullied him. To be fair, I didn't even remember until his mom jogged my memory. Maybe I just want to get this off my chest, I don't know if it merits admitting I was there or he just wants to forget it.
My boyfriend and I went to elementary and middle school together. I was very popular because my older sister was incredibly popular. My sister, who was in the grade above me, brought me into a large, inter-grade clique of girls. Some of the girls were nice but wouldn't show it at school and some were downright rotten. My boyfriend (hopefully soon to be fiance) was not in the "in crowd." He was a grade below me and I didn't really know him (I knew of him.. we all did) - it was a big enough school that I didn't even know everyone in my own grade. Anyway, I was at his parent's place and I was looking through some middle school year book and saw a picture of him - he was the cutest, nerdiest little guy ever. He was small for his age - he grew to be a refrigerator size person but not then. He had a short cropped haircut, he wore a shirt tucked into pants with a belt and leather shoes. He carried a huge backpack full of extra books and won "most likely to be a scientist" award that year (BF is a 3rd year medical student, so not far off). He was the smart kid at an athletic school and I guess had rubbed one of my "friends" the wrong way.
Anyway, I saw the picture in the year book and instantly adored the picture. I asked my BF's mother if she had a similar photo and she did - she had taken a photo that morning and had a copy I could have. She found it and gave it to me so I could frame it. It's the most adorable thing you've ever seen. He's got a goofy grin, damp hair brushed to the side, and just this outfit that makes him look like he's 12 going on 84. I got it framed and put it in our bedroom. So, when my BF mother was giving me the photo, she told me that he caught hell that day, that his outfit was the source of some stress. I asked and apparently he had been eating lunch with the teacher working on an extra-credit. He got beaten up for "being a nerd" and a group of kids, including some girls, got in trouble for it. Here's the thing, I was one of those girls. I didn't throw a punch and I didn't actually physically assault him, but I was there. I had completely forgotten this.
My BF has an aptitude for learning languages and would eat lunch with our math & physics teacher who was Russian. They would eat lunch in the empty classroom and she'd teach him Russian and Polish. She was an older lady and adored giving a young kid a chance to learn Russian. Because he spent every free moment with her being tutored, he didn't really eat or consort with the other kids his own age, in part because he was really bright and loved to learn and in part because we ostracized him. I would say he was totally friendless, but was adored by the teachers. He caught a lot of hell during school - he was protected by the teachers and could do no wrong so when they weren't looking, he was a punching bag. Anyway, near the end of the school year, he won some academic excellence award, it was basically the award no one wanted because it made you look like such a nerd (in retrospect being a nerd was probably a lot better). As 'retribution' for the award, a girl and her BF were going to enact swift justice. She was going to throw his backpack into the girl's bathroom while her BF was going to knock him down and keep him from stopping her from throwing the backpack in there. Word spread and a group of people were loitering waiting for the prank.
It didn't go that way at all. The guy leaped on him knocking him off his feet and he hit his head on the floor, he was out cold. Panic ensued and we fled. The girl who was supposed to throw his backpack into the bathroom later admitted to everything and named everyone present. Her BF was expelled and she was severely punished. Everyone else had their parent's called and finished the school year in detention and started off the school year with a set of punishments.
My boyfriend transferred schools to a different district and I didn't see him again until 2nd year of university and we only started dating 4th year of university. My boyfriend rarely talks about that time, he knows we went to the same school, we were in different grades and that I probably disliked him like everyone else did. The thing is, he doesn't know I was present at the event that knocked him out. On one hand, I don't want to dredge up bad memories and force him to discuss a subject that may be really sore. I don't want to live with the guilt I started feeling. On yet another hand, I don't want him to find out, get really angry and dump me.
I don't know what to do, but for some reason, I feel guilt almost 15 years later. Should I say anything? Should I just go on like before?
tl;dr: BF was bullied at school that we used to attend. I was part of a group of people waiting for him to be humiliated but it wound-up with him getting injured/knocked out and transferring schools. He doesn't seem to remember I was there (and neither did I, actually) and I kind of don't want to tell him so that he doesn't get mad at me/dump me... but I feel really guilty.
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Sep 28, 2017 00:46
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 05:05
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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Found a good one.
Confessing to my [26/F] boyfriend [25/M] that I was one of the people who bullied him. He has no clue and I'm not sure I should bring it up.
oh yeeeeeeaaaaaah, that's the good stuff
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Sep 28, 2017 00:52
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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He remembers. He remembers very well. Don't go searching for any Amontillado with him.
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Sep 28, 2017 00:55
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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Found a good one.
Confessing to my [26/F] boyfriend [25/M] that I was one of the people who bullied him. He has no clue and I'm not sure I should bring it up.
i hope she tells him and i hope he dumps her in public, lol
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Sep 28, 2017 00:55
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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it's not gonna matter probably. even if he tries to get over it because she was barely involved, it's gonna be a big reorientation to now know that his partner once stood by as he was hurt. yes it was ages ago and they were literal children, but emotions aren't logical. for what it's worth I hope he gets past it because I don't think you can blame a middle schooler for not standing up to a crowd of their peers, but I wouldn't necessarily bet on it
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Sep 28, 2017 01:01
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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It sounds like she was only barely involved.
I'm sure a lot of bullies tell themselves that as adults to feel better about the inhuman things they did to other people
it's not gonna matter probably. even if he tries to get over it because she was barely involved, it's gonna be a big reorientation to now know that his partner once stood by as he was hurt. yes it was ages ago and they were literal children, but emotions aren't logical. for what it's worth I hope he gets past it because I don't think you can blame a middle schooler for not standing up to a crowd of their peers, but I wouldn't necessarily bet on it
being part of a mob isn't an excuse
somehow i managed to get through school without making anybody want to kill themselves
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Sep 28, 2017 01:16
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- coolskull
- Nov 11, 2007
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why not...not tell him.
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Sep 28, 2017 01:25
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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being part of a mob isn't an excuse
somehow i managed to get through school without making anybody want to kill themselves
so did I. because I was one of the bullied. the other category was "so incredibly invisible as to be noticed by no one." did you ever see someone stand up for a bullied kid? I did. someone stood up for me, a fairly popular girl. guess what? next day I was her only friend, and every day after that until I transferred schools. you see that enough as a kid and I'm sure you will want to do anything in your power to have it not be you. if that turns you into a bully yourself, yes you're a dick, but if it just makes you reluctant to speak up? I have a hard time blaming them. grown adults get the crowd paralysis thing going on where they ignore rapes and murders assuming someone else will deal with it, and maybe that makes humanity basically evil, but I don't think you can hold middle schoolers to an even higher standard.
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Sep 28, 2017 01:32
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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at the same time though, pet policies for rentals are usually loving ridiculous much like most poo poo landlords do
two miniature, 10 lbs dachshunds in a 2 bedroom apartment that's all cheap laminate? that'll be a grand please, where half is non-refundable due to it being "admin fees", oh and don't forget the $100 extra added to your monthly rent
Sounds like you've never dealt with owning a property that someone brought a pet into. While it goes fine sometimes, most people are incredibly dirty and disgusting and ruin everything, pet or not. This is where the attitude of many landlords come from.
So if you aren't one of those people you should be pissed at the dirt balls that are, not the land lords who are just trying to protect their business to make it profitable.
There are outliers on both sides of this. But what i described is largely the middle and why it happens.
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Sep 28, 2017 01:51
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- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
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My (17F) brother (16M) dressed up as a murderer and 'fake' broke into the house to try and scare me as a prank. I was so scared that I threw a knife at him and it deeply cut his arm, then ran away and left him there. My parents and my brother want to kick me out over this. I feel horrible.
quote:
2 nights ago my brother dressed up in this dark black robe and had this horrifying mask on that made him look like the girl from the Grudge. He fake broke into the house by playing on the speaker a LOUD glass shattering noise, making me think the window had been broken, then he came at me like he was some kind of zombie demon thing, walking fast but with his back arched so it looked like he had a broken back
It was like all of the horror movies I had ever watched suddenly came back to me, I was SHRIEKING at the top of my lungs, it was actually so horrifying I right away went into a state of absolute panic. The thing was that I heard the window break, so I KNEW this was real, no loving prank involves breaking someones window. And when I saw that... I didn't think it was some guy in a mask, it looked so loving real, with the hair covering its face and this long stained black robe and the arched back and the robotic movements, it looked really scary. Anyways, I quickly grabbed a knife (I was sitting down eating dinner) that was right in front of me and threw it at him. It was a big knife, and I threw it hard. And then I ran away, but then I heard a very recognizable voice, it was my loving brother, going "ahhhh!!!". Except I thought I heard it from UPSTAIRS so instead of going to check on the demon in the living room I frantically ran upstairs thinking there was another demon upstairs that was going to attack my brother.
So I was crying yelling "DONNNN, DONNN?!?!? DONNNN!!??" in the upstairs hallway trying to find him. Then I heard him crying downstairs in pain and my heart just loving sank, the demon had gotten him, or it was using magic to mimic his voice to trick me. Yes, I was this loving delusional. I was so loving petrified I just put my back against the hallway and just cried, so horrified, my face must have looked like a good horror movie face. I could hear my brother say "Emmmmmmmaaaa!! emmmmmaaaa!! ahhhhh!" and all I could think for a solid 20 seconds was that it was a demon mimicking his voice, or murdering him. I had a full on panic attack, my arm and chest began to feel pained and numb which also got me terrified. I thought I was having a heart attack.
Anyways, I eventually went down and found my BROTHER IN THE COSTUME, bleeding out his shoulder with a big rear end gash.
I freaked out and just yelled I am so sorry I am sorry. He just kept cursing at me, it did look painful. I called 911 first, right away, then I called our parents who were away on vacation. I was in the hospital and my brother was in severe pain, but they treated the wound and did a minor surgery. My parents got back in an hour, and were so loving furious with me, I had never seen them that mad.
My parents right away assumed it was a fight between me and my brother, and that I threw a knife. When I explained what happened, my dad just yelled "thats loving bullshit emma, that IS loving BULLSHIT" and I just cried saying Im sorry im sorry blah blah.
My brother told my parents he was just playing a prank, and he said that I ran away and didnt come for 20 minutes while he was shouting in pain (it was actually more like 2 minutes that I was upstairs, but w/e) and I told him that is not true, and that I was scared and petrified. And my mom just flipped out on me saying "are you seriously loving arguing with him right now? Seriously?? I am loving disgusted with you!" and that truly shocked me because my mom almost always takes my side.
I tried explaining to my parents everything, and every little thing I said they just said "your a loving imbecile" or something along those lines. I am! I did act loving stupid. But I was also terrified for my life and they are not understanding this in the slightest. They asked why I was upstairs while I could hear my brother crying for me for 20 minutes and I told them it was actually just a minute, if even, and they snapped at me and my mom smacked me slightly, something she has NEVER done. They kept asking, pushing. and I just told them flat out... "it was because I thought whatever thing Don had dressed up as was mimicking his voice, and I was terrified to go down because it would trap me" and they just freaked the gently caress out.
My dad right away just got so mad at me, screaming bullshit at me, and then he said "you need to get the gently caress out, right now, get the gently caress out" and I left.
Im currently at my friends house, who WONT STOP LAUGHING AT ME but besides that, my parents are not being responsive now. my mom says she doesnt know what to do with me, and my dad says we need to start negotiating something, because me stabbing my brother is completely unacceptable and they cannot have that in the house. He mentioned me finding a place.
I dont know what to do, I am sorry that this is so drat long, and that it probably sounds ridiculous. What the gently caress do I do?
tl;dr: Parents want to kick me out because I threw a knife at my brother after he pranked me
i had people break into my house while i was home a few months ago and it was so loving scary and hosed me up for days after even though they were just normal looking people my age so i cannot imagine how terrifying this would have been
Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Sep 28, 2017
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Sep 28, 2017 02:16
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- My Linux Rig
- Mar 27, 2010
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Can't post for 6 years!
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Sounds like you've never dealt with owning a property that someone brought a pet into. While it goes fine sometimes, most people are incredibly dirty and disgusting and ruin everything, pet or not. This is where the attitude of many landlords come from.
So if you aren't one of those people you should be pissed at the dirt balls that are, not the land lords who are just trying to protect their business to make it profitable.
There are outliers on both sides of this. But what i described is largely the middle and why it happens.
I could get that if it was all refundable and there was no tacked on monthly bullshit, but come on, that admin fee poo poo is complete bs.
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Sep 28, 2017 02:19
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- Fortis
- Oct 21, 2009
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feelin' fine
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Prank culture will only die off if we spill prankster blood. Your parents don't understand, Emma, but you're doing the Lord's work.
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Sep 28, 2017 02:19
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- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
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by Fluffdaddy
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Probably the worst I ever felt in middle school was when a kid my friends had bullied came up to me and thanked me for not participating in it. Like I just felt awful for him and I felt like an rear end in a top hat for not saying anything about it at the time.
Can't speak for the guy but probably not the worst idea to bring it up in a delicate way in case her mother ever talks about it in front of them.
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Sep 28, 2017 02:20
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- Meme Poker Party
- Sep 1, 2006
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by Azathoth
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Prank culture will only die off if we spill prankster blood. Your parents don't understand, Emma, but you're doing the Lord's work.
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Sep 28, 2017 02:21
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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If you had killed him youd have been fine. Remember this next time.
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Sep 28, 2017 02:23
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Found a good one.
Confessing to my [26/F] boyfriend [25/M] that I was one of the people who bullied him. He has no clue and I'm not sure I should bring it up.
I think the tricky part about bullying is that when you look at the offenses it seems p easy to write off as "kids stuff" because it's easy to imagine how right now you could shrug it off. The issue is that they're not targeting emotionally healthy adults, they're targeting children at their most vulnerable and can cause issues that take a long time to fix, if they ever can be.
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Sep 28, 2017 02:23
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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I think the tricky part about bullying is that when you look at the offenses it seems p easy to write off as "kids stuff" because it's easy to imagine how right now you could shrug it off. The issue is that they're not targeting emotionally healthy adults, they're targeting children at their most vulnerable and can cause issues that take a long time to fix, if they ever can be.
I agree completely, a lot of what I went through is still following me now, and is a large part of my therapy. but if she's telling the truth (and maybe she's not! maybe she had a much larger part) then she just witnessed it, knowing it was going to happen. that is a bad thing to do. but I have a hard time blaming a middle schooler for not having the courage to, say, go find him and warn him, knowing what kind of effect it would have on her if anyone found out she did that, especially having seen that happen to the girl who stood up for me. a middle schooler knows that is what is going to happen. again if she is lying and was an active bully (wouldn't be the first time someone wrote their Reddit post to be flattering) then that changes everything but if she really was just a witness I don't know if it's reasonable to blame her.
again, her fiancé might feel differently, which is his prerogative
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Sep 28, 2017 02:34
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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I could get that if it was all refundable and there was no tacked on monthly bullshit, but come on, that admin fee poo poo is complete bs.
The rest of those "admin fees" and whatever make up for the dirt balls who stop paying their rent while trashing the apartment/house and then cost you several hundred dollars in court fees to legally evict, all the while you are losing your monthly rental on the space for like 2-6 months until the sheriff can legally kick their rear end to the curb, then you have a month of contractors and cash hemmorhage to fix the damage before you can re-list it. So you just lost several YEARS of income on the property not even counting the "admin fee".
Sorry dude.....people are assholes and treat rentals like garbage in general. You get to pay for that more or less, and more if you come into it with red flags of a high risk tenant (like bringing pets).
I'm sorry if you're not that person. But you need to understand the most people are to some extent.
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Sep 28, 2017 03:05
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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edit: actually no, I'm a little too pissed at my own landlord right now to respond rationally to a post like this
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Sep 28, 2017 03:13
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- Xik
- Mar 10, 2011
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Dinosaur Gum
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To the poster that wanted service dogs to have little uniforms; they have little coats with cute "L plates" when they are in training in public.
(FYI: Over here an L plate like that goes on a vehicle to signify the driver is currently on their learner license)
Expected more searching for "Dog", but will take what I can:
My [38f] SIL [32F] is upset that she named her son the same name as my dog.Non-Romantic
quote:
My previous dog passed away last year. When I got him, I named him “Jasper” because he looked like a “Jasper”. When he passed away I was devastated. After several months, I got a new puppy and named him “Jasper”. I’ve grown attached to the name at this point.
My SIL just had a baby and named him “Jasper” as well. When she found out my dog’s name is also Jasper, she got really angry and upset. I’m not sure if it’s the hormones, but she completely overreacted and called me names. I got my puppy first and named him first. She never told anyone of possible names she was planning on for her son, so how was I supposed to know she was going to name her son the same name as my dog? I’m not sure what to do right now. She went on Facebook and ranted about it so most of my family knows about this mess. One of my cousins called me and laughed about it. It’s ridiculous right? I’m not a mind reader. How was I supposed to know she was going to name her son that? My parents love to see my puppy and they know that I named my puppy “Jasper” so she must not have told my parents or they could have warned her in advance.
I’m not sure what to do now. I won’t be changing my dog’s name as that name is significant to me so don’t suggest that. My brother hasn't visited me in the past year as we live 4 hours away from each other. So I don't think he knew that I named my new puppy "Jasper" again. Personally I also don't really see what's the big deal either. So what if they share the same name? It's not a big deal.
tl;dr: SIL is upset that she named her son the same name I gave my dog.
And the best advice:
I sniped these because the rest of the words don't really add anything:
My [27m] fiancee [26f] and I are finally in a place where we can get a dog. She just admitted that she doesn't want a dog, and never has. Considering ending things over this.
quote:
Hi reddit. My fiancee Ali and I have been together for 4 years, living together for 2, recently got engaged.
TL;DR - Girlfriend and I can finally get a dog, she admitted that she doesn't want a dog and never has. She gave me an ultimatum - either her or a dog.
My [F23] boyfriend [M24] is furious with me over the nickname I gave our dog.
quote:tl;dr: boyfriend overhead me call our dog buttface. Has decided it's abusive and that I'm hurting her feelings. Refuses to talk to me now. Wtf? How am I supposed to handle something that I honestly don't see the big deal in?
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Sep 28, 2017 03:22
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Like the coat, needs to be more dapper.
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Sep 28, 2017 03:23
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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I'm [30F] feeling down about souvenirs that no one seems to like.
quote:I'm looking for some tough love perspective on this.
I worked internationally, and bought a whole bunch of bowties as souvenirs for my male friends made from the local fabric (bracelets for girls). The bowties are bright, loud, colorful. They would definitely not pass as "black-tie" but are a wearable (and well-made) reflection of the local culture.
The first friend I gifted them to kind of laughed in disbelief and said "Thanks? I would never wear something so bright". Another friend just said he "never wears bowties".
I never gave away the rest. The entire bag of bowties have been sitting on the floor of my closet for months, weighing like a bad conscience. When I look at them they're such a source of hurt for me. I feel stupid for spending so much time personally picking out fabrics, working with the seamstress on details/sizes, spending all that money on what probably will end up in the trash bin. I was so excited about the gifts and each lukewarm reception just feels like a heavy blow.
I know people have every right to not like/use gifts. I'd be ok if they just accepted it with a smile and quietly gave it away. But the all-too-candid "I'd never wear this", "I appreciate the thought, but I'd probably just leave it in the drawer", really bring me down.
I know I've internalized the rejection and am being too emotional and embarrassed about it. It's totally out of proportion how much it hurts when I think about it. There are days when I just want to quietly toss the remaining gifts into the trash and forget that I ever had any stupid hope that people would like, let alone wear these gifts. Help me get over it?
tl;dr: Spent time/money on colorful bowtie souvenirs. Lukewarm receptions are really getting me down.
Edit: Thanks for all the encouragement, suggestions, and constructive criticisms!
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Sep 28, 2017 03:30
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- Fantastic Flyer
- Aug 9, 2017
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lmao
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Sep 28, 2017 03:45
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- coolskull
- Nov 11, 2007
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what person can both buy "a bag of" bow ties and feel embarrassment
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Sep 28, 2017 03:47
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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My [24F] husband wants to date someone else.
quote:
My husband [25M] of 6 years wants to date some else that lives in a whole other sate. Now first thing is we where having some problems and we where split up but still living in the same house with our 3 kids. I did everything he asked to fix it and he told me that everything was fine. I knew that he had been talking to this other girl [unknown age] when we where going though all of this. And then a day after telling me that everything was fine and we where back together and telling me that she was pissing him off and picking out all his flews and wanting him to kiss her feet. He tells me that for some resin he cant stop talking to her and wants to date her to try and get her out of his system. He hasn't told her that we are back together and she told him she wouldn't date him unless I moved out.. I told him to tell her I did and to just date her.. Even if it makes me miserable what's the point in both of us being miserable? How do I handle all of this? Leave the room anytime they talk on the phone? Oh and no one in our family's knows about any of this. So I don't even have anyone to talk to about it. tl;dr MY HUSDAND WANTS TO DATE SOMEONE ELSE IN A WHOLE OTHER STATE.
Open the relationship.
I (26/F) think my friend (26/F) has a thing for my boyfriend (28/M).
quote:
I’ve been friends with Rachel for ten years. I’ve been with my boyfriend, Liam, for five years. About five months ago, after Rachel and her long-term boyfriend had broken up, I began to notice her attachment towards Liam. They’re on friendly terms, not close by any means, but friends. They don’t really have anything in common apart from me, and Liam, at first, found Rachel to be kind of annoying. She’s a little dramatic at times, and she embellishes quite a lot, to the point that it’s a little difficult to take her seriously. But I love her, and that part of her has leveled out a lot over the years.
Her opinion of Liam hasn’t always been good. At first she thought he was too quiet, which translated to rudeness. I explained to her that he’s just like that. It’s not to be rude. He’s just a naturally quiet person. Eventually, they got to know each other a little more, and she began saying how great he is and how jealous she is that I found “a guy like him”. Her boyfriend wasn’t very good to her, so I guess the smallest gestures from Liam felt like a lot. Like when he’d cook and pick up my favourite chocolate on his way home when he knew I had a bad day, etc. Relationship things.
I was glad as a result, because the inexplicable animosity between them was finally gone. She approved. It’s always easier when your close friends and family approve of the person you’re dating.
Then slowly after her breakup, she developed this interest in what Liam was doing. She started to ask me about him all the time, if he was going to “be there, too” and leave all sorts of comments on his IG. Some of it was just banter, the sort of teasing comment you’d leave your friend, and some of it was questionable. She’d leave fire emoji’s and heart-eye emoji’s (which sounds laughable, but given the context, it’s definitely weird). Liam felt weird, too. He’d tell me and we’d both just brush it off after a few seconds but the underlying discomfort was there.
It would be different if they were close friends. They’re not and it happened only after she and her ex had split up. It’s not really a joke after that.
I’m not a very confrontational person, and Liam wasn’t all that bothered (as with most things) so I let it go for a few months. I was really busy with work at the time, too, and I still am, but a few days ago a mutual friend of ours texted me saying they had something to tell me.
Apparently they went out drinking with Rachel a couple of days prior, and she chose to “gently caress” and “marry” Liam in a game of FMK. It was all a joke until she was like, “Don’t tell OP. Her boyfriend is everything, but don’t tell her!” I guess our mutual friend sensed there was more to it, so after a bit of thought, she let me know, and now I’m wondering if I should even bother talking to Rachel anymore.
Again, there could be humour to all of this. I don’t know if it’s just me. Would anyone else feel weird if this happened to them? Liam doesn’t hang out with her. And he said he doesn’t give a poo poo either way, he’ll go along with whatever I decide to do.
I’m just not sure what to do. Part of me wants to ghost, and part of me wants to have a conversation with her, ask her flat-out why she’s acting this way and whether she’d appreciate it coming from me. We’ve been friends for so long, I feel obligated to at least say something.
What should I say? How should I say it? I’m really bad at confrontation, so I need to actually plan this out.
tl;dr After she and her ex broke up, she developed an interest in my boyfriend, and she’s made some awkward, uncomfortable comments about him. We’ve been friends for so long, so I’d like to think this is all just a joke, but it doesn’t feel that way. My boyfriend said he doesn’t give a poo poo either way and that he’ll support me in whatever it is that I decide to do. Should I ghost her or should I confront her? If I talk to her, what should I say? I’m bad at this sort of thing.
Open the relationship.
Me [25 /F] with my husband [38 M] 4 year marriage, needing to leave but always coming back
quote:
I got married pretty young, I was financially independent so at the time I didn't care how lazy he was, I was happy he was faithful always there for me and what not and we laughed non stop.
Now, he just annoys me to no end with his requests for material items. He spend about $400 a week on clothes he NEVER wears. He just takes pics and shows them to his cousins to show off the fashion poo poo. It bothers me that when we go out he doesn't even dress nice, he wore an inside out t-shirt because the front side was stained. It's just like wtf you spend so much on clothes but don't wear them for the life of you.
There is a significant income difference, I make about triple what he makes, and I know that's what I signed up for, but being young I never realized how much it would really affect you when you see someone spending all "your" money, when I got a big promotion the first thing he said was I should buy him a car. Not congratulations, not buy something for yourself, he only thinks of him at all times.
I've said for the last year, I want to leave him, I just straight up hate him at this point. We don't have the same values or goals in life. His views annoy me to no end, just always thinking he's right and the smartest person ever. I want to save for a house and a nice vacation, he just continues to blow through money. Yet, every single time I try to leave I keep coming back. The longest I stayed away was 3 days. I don't get how people just straight up and leave someone you've lived with for so long. I don't even really love him, but I'm so used to him that the thought of him being gone does give me anxiety.
How do you stay gone? What do you say to them? I see no contact a lot but I feel like with a marriage is that possible? I've given him plenty of warnings and I know he will never change. I just don't know how to end it versus staying stuck in this horrible place
tl;dr: Been married 4 years, he literally drives me insane with his spending/selfishness, yet every time I try leaving I come back. How do I stay gone? Or let him know I'm serious
Open the relationship?
BF [24/m] of 1 year just admitted to me [21/f] that he purposely hit me on the head on our first date as a "girlfriend material test". WTF??
quote:
Hi, I will try to keep this short. I met my BF on Tinder a year ago, and on our very first date we had dinner and then went to his place to watch a movie. I distinctly remember him on his couch, and he motioned for me to cuddle up to him. So I (while facing the TV) flopped backwards right next to him, but he (allegedly) was leaning forward and he accidentally knocked my head with his. Really hard. I saw stars, and panicked because I immediately felt nauseous and couldn't hear from that side of my head for the next 20 minutes. It hurt so much, and I actually had a mild concussion from it for a few weeks after. At the time, he apologized profusely and said he didn't mean to hit his head with mine and asked if I was okay, all that. I remember I didn't want to make a big deal about it on the first date so I just basically choked back tears and said it's all good, all the while wondering if I was really hurt.
Anyway, first date went well other than that, the rest is history, we've been dating for a year since. Just to be clear, he's never laid a single finger on me during the relationship and has been a great bf... until last night. We were hanging out with friends and we were all tipsy, and I was telling my friends about our first date and how I got bonked in the head.
We were all laughing about it and my boyfriend (drunker than everyone else) just straight up (while laughing) admitted that that's just a "thing" he does on first dates to gauge how a girl reacts, and to see if she's a "princess" or if she can take a hit.
Meaning that it wasn't his head that hit mine, he straight up punched the side of my head (obviously not hard enough to cause permanent damage) when I wasn't facing him and made it seem like an accident. Everyone kind of sobered up when he said that, and I remember looking at him to see if he was joking. He was not. Someone changed the subject really fast and then everyone went home. I can't stop thinking about what he said last night. This morning, I asked him if he remembered what we talked about last night and he said of course he does, like it's no big deal!
Is this NORMAL? I know I didn't experience any permanent damage but that seems like a loving psycho thing to do. Please help me. This isn't enough for me to want to break up wit him but I've just never encountered something so hosed up and bizarre. Thank you.
tl;dr: On our first date, I thought BF accidentally hit his head with mine, which gave me a mild concussion. Last night, I found out he intentionally punched me on the side of my head to see how I'd react as a girlfriend test. WTF do I do ?
Open... the relationship? No, wait, 
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Sep 28, 2017 03:49
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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I beat the poo poo out of my girlfriends. Not to be weird but to see if they can take a hit(???)
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Sep 28, 2017 04:02
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My (17F) brother (16M) dressed up as a murderer and 'fake' broke into the house to try and scare me as a prank. I was so scared that I threw a knife at him and it deeply cut his arm, then ran away and left him there. My parents and my brother want to kick me out over this. I feel horrible.
i had people break into my house while i was home a few months ago and it was so loving scary and hosed me up for days after even though they were just normal looking people my age so i cannot imagine how terrifying this would have been
Okay but she doesn't do herself any favors by trying to excuse it as "I actually thought a demon killed my brother and was mimicking his voice to trick me."
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Sep 28, 2017 04:02
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I beat the poo poo out of my girlfriends. Not to be weird but to see if they can take a hit(???)
Marriage is the biggest decision in most peoples lives, so hes just making sure she has the stamina to last the rounds in front of the judges.
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Sep 28, 2017 04:06
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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Expected more searching for "Dog", but will take what I can:
My [38f] SIL [32F] is upset that she named her son the same name as my dog.Non-Romantic
When my oldest brother was born my grandma was upset because my parents named him Max and she thought it was a "dog's name." So when they got their next dog grandma named it Baby to passively aggressively spite my parents.
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Sep 28, 2017 04:35
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 05:05
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- Nancy
- Nov 23, 2005
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Young Orc
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I [22F] found a hidden folder on my girlfriend's [22F] hard-drive with heaps and heaps of photos of her step-sister [26F]
quote:I’m all over the place now and could really use someone’s advice/help.
Been with my girlfriend for 18 months now. It’s been really smooth sailing so far – we have similar hobbies but different enough jobs that I always love her coming over/me going to hers and talking about our days. I could honestly sit and listen to this girl for hours, she’s incredibly funny, insanely smart, so gorgeous and I’m constantly gobsmacked that she wants to be with me. That’s why this is so hard – it’s come out of left field and I have no idea what to do.
So we don’t live together right now, but we are only about 15 minutes apart and the majority of nights we are with each other. The other night girlfriend left her hard drive at mine – she keeps lots of tv shows/movies on it and she brought it over to watch something with me. she obviously forgot it in the morning when she left.
I had a day free and wanted to watch something. She’s really into sci-fi stuff and has tried to get me to watch some shows, but it just isn’t my thing. But I thought I’d surprise her and try to get into one of her favourites so we could watch it together. I was looking at a bunch of shows (firefly, dr who, star trek etc) to try to find one that looked manageable (I didn’t want to commit to something with a million seasons like dr who apparently has).
I decided on firefly (for those who don’t know, its just a season long). But in all the video files there was a folder that was one just titled “ugh” which obviously is such a weird folder name. I assumed it was porn or something but when I went into it there was just masses and masses of photos/videos/SCREENSHOTS OF TEXTS from my gf’s step sister.
What the gently caress?? I honestly thought I was dreaming, going through all this junk. I have no idea what’s going on. it looks so dodgy, right, that she has obviously hidden this folder/moved all the photos of step sister into here instead of on iphoto or something.
At first I had such dread, like she must be cheating on me with her step-sister like we’re living in some loving porno. But the photos are all pretty innocent, from what I’ve seen – just day to day stuff. There’s some weirder ones like photos of step sister napping on the couch or swimming in the pool/sunbathing – like they make me think she didn’t know they were being taken. But at the same time, she has taken similar photos of me and our friends (but shown them to me/them later). Just messing around on her phone. And there's photos of the sister just around the house in her undies and a t-shirt - again, if I saw that on my GF's phone I wouldn't pay much attention but now I don't know. Is that a weird photo to have of a sibling?? The texts aren’t sexy or anything either – mostly they are from the step sister saying stuff like “I don’t know what I’d do without you”, “no one makes me laugh like this!” “this girl in at work makes me think of you I already love her” etc. Like if I saw them on my gfs phone IN the convo, I wouldn’t think anything of it. It’s the fact that she’s screenshotted them and saved them to this weird folder that freaks me out.
The backstory is my gf and her step sister have been living together since my gf was like 9-10, and the sister was 13-14. I know my gf worships her sister, and look its for good reason – the sister is super charming, beautiful, and really successful in her field of work (veterinarian - she's caring too). She is for sure the whole package and I definitely get a bit giggly when she’s around, she’s just that sort of girl. I never thought my GFs feelings for her went any further than being platonic until now though. I don’t think they are having an affair – the sister is engaged and really in love with the guy. She has said she identifies as straight. My GF has always been pretty judgmental/negative of the future brother-in-law, but I chalked that up to just being protective. Now I don’t know. Is she jealous?
WHAT DO I DO? I have no idea how to bring this up with my gf. Again, I feel like the only “evidence” I have that something shifty is going on is that she took the time to move every photo/video regarding the sister into a folder that has clearly been hidden. There is nothing in the folder that is weird, apart from the sheer amount of stuff in there. it’s over 7,000 files. GF is NOT a photographer aside from the casual social media stuff.
I’m sorry this is all over the place. I need some help, please tell me what your take is. Thanks.
TL;DR: found a hidden file on my GF’s computer with over 7,000 files (photos/videos/screenshotted texts) of/from her step-sister. Have no idea how to proceed.
...and the surprising twist!
[UPDATE] I [22F] found a hidden folder on my girlfriend's [22F] hard-drive with heaps of photos of her step-sister [26F]
quote:Hi guys, a few people hit me up for an update and I wanted to let you all know what ended up happening. Thanks for everyone’s support and advice, I wasn’t expecting so many people to comment and I really appreciate everyones feedback. I’ve added some (fake) names here because there’s more people involved and I think it gets more confusing.
From all the comments I got the sense that I was hugely overreacting. I’m an anxious person who can jump to the worst case scenario a lot of the times – it’s something I’m really trying to work on because I don’t like that side of myself. That’s really why I came here, to get another opinion before talking to my girlfriend. And you all slapped some sense into me, so thank you for that.
So my girlfriend came over that night, and I decided to follow people’s advice and just talk to her about it honestly and be completely upfront. I said, “I wanted to surprise you by getting into Firefly so I went onto your hard drive to get it” and reddit my heart just broke, she was excited and wanted to put it right on so we could watch it together. I knew then that what I thought had happened didn’t – she obviously didn’t make the connection with the folder being hidden in her Firefly folders and was just keen to watch the show with me. That little reaction just made me feel so relieved – it’s hard to explain but I knew then that there was no way she was hiding this big secret and she obviously didn’t have any shame or embarrassment around the hidden folder, because she didn’t even remember that the folder was in there.
so I just said that I had accidently found the folder of her step sister (Lizzie), the one called “ugh”. I asked why she had made it. Her face just fell and she was quiet for a bit. And then she told me this whole story:
So I had noticed my GF had been quiet and a bit sad recently, but she’s been working a lot and I just assumed she was super tired. But no, like a few of you guessed she had had a big fight with Lizzie.
A few weeks ago a high school friend (Gina) of my GF got in contact with her on facebook. Gina is fairly religious and goes to church a lot. Gina said she didn’t want to make waves in my GFs family, but wanted to let her know – the guy Lizzie is marrying (John) is well-known in the Christian community in our area for being involved in those gay-conversion workshops and seminars. Gina wanted to make sure my girlfriend was okay, and seemed to think maybe she had accepted John’s work out of some internalized homonegativity.
My girlfriend (and I) did NOT know that John did stuff like that. I only knew that he was a therapist and that he went to church, and my girlfriend said he had only ever been introduced like that to her. She said she was pretty sure her parents didn’t know either, as they have always been loving and accepting of her and would be outraged over John’s line of work. She was worried that John had been lying to Lizzie as well, and contacted Lizzie to tell her what she had heard from Gina.
Obviously it didn’t go well. Lizzie was very defensive, and basically just kept telling my GF that John’s beliefs were his beliefs and Lizzie had no right to make any assumptions over it. It was clear Lizzie knew what John was doing and was completely find with it, and was hiding it through omission from her family.
My GF cried and cried through telling me this. As I said in my last post, Lizzie was such a hero to my GF and she loves her so much, so this acceptance is such a betrayal. I think that’s why she didn’t tell me when it first happened, and when she hid those files – she just didn’t’ want to have to deal with it, because Lizzie hurt her so much by not caring what John does for “therapy”. These workshops focus on telling gay kids/adults of how wrong and perverted they are, and basically force them back into the closet. They focus on scaring parents into cutting support off from their gay children and use all these horrible horrible tactics to basically force these people to hide their sexuality.
So she said she just couldn’t stand having all these reminders of Lizzie scattered through her computer, so she ended up just putting them all into one folder and hiding it. I guess “ugh” meant “ugh I don’t want to deal with this right now”.
We’re sort of at a loss to do now. I’m obviously just trying to give my girlfriend as much support as I can, because everything is her decision now. Lizzie doesn’t seem willing to see that what her fiancé has dedicated his life to is so painful for her sister. My GF doesn’t know whether to tell her parents. On one hand, it’s going to be horrible/painful/awkward as balls to have family dinners with this future brother-in-law who thinks that her and me are “defective”. And my GF is pretty sure both her parents (including her step-dad) would do what they can to protect her from John. On the other hand, she loves Lizzie so much and doesn’t want to force her away from her family. It’s not Lizzie’s profession, and John has never been outright nasty to my GF.
So it’s still in motion, but I wanted to let you guys know what’s happened since my last post. I’m obviously relieved my GF doesn’t have feelings for Lizzie, but this is still heartbreaking in a different way. It’s horrible to see my GF so upset and I’m just trying to give her as much love and care as humanly possible. I’m excited for tonight because I borrowed a projector from my friend and am going to set it up so we can watch Firefly on the wall of my living room. I’m going to make us a big blanket fort and order pizza so we can snuggle and watch TV all night.
Thank you all again, it means the world to me that you all took time out of your lives to offer advice to me.
TL;DR: My gf hid photos and texts of her step-sister because they are fighting and she didn’t want to look at them. Turns out step-sister is marrying a homophobe that works for a church performing those “gay conversion” workshops.
EDIT Thank you to everyone for such an outpouring of support, it means so much to me! My GF and I had a big talk last night and she is going to tell her parents. It's likely they will find out at some point anyway, and it isn't fair that my GF should feel uncomfortable with her own family. And to the people who are saying John must be gay, please think about what you're saying and how offensive it is. Yes, there have been instances where intensely homophobic people are hiding same-sex attraction. But they are in the minority. If I came to you saying my GF was black and her sister was marrying a KKK member, no one would be saying "oh he just wants to be black". Some people are just hateful.
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