- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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i mean, you literally promise to be with your partner "in sickness and in health", and op's partner is apparently seeing a psychologist.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:01
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 01:20
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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And if this thread is any indicator, there's nothing that 23 year old chicks love more than gross old dudes.
I’m at 66% in this.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:02
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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You can't 100% blame the man if you let him hang around preternaturally attractive tramps. That's a lack of due diligence.
You gotta bang them first so the spouse doesn't have the chance.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:02
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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You can't 100% blame the man if you let him hang around preternaturally attractive tramps. That's a lack of due diligence.
This is why you have to hire licensed Female Body Inspectors, not just ones with tshirts.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:02
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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This is why you have to hire licensed Female Body Inspectors, not just ones with tshirts.
if your "FBI agent" can't deliver an ocular patdown, he's of no use
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Oct 16, 2017 21:03
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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Pregnant GF(24F) put blame on me(24M)
Not the best one I've found but I like the slow unfold of 'ugh my pregnant girlfriend wants me to take some responsibility for her suffering' to 'oh, by the way, she probably has hyperemesis gravida and is incredibly ill.'
I hope they break up after she gets this abortion and also that he never finds love again
Christ dude you are like 7 years too old to be acting this way
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Oct 16, 2017 21:03
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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My PhD advisor [53 M] is making me [28F] increasingly uncomfortable with borderline romantic gestures/e-mailsNon-Romantic
quote:
Addendum: I should mention that I really do not want to switch advisors. I have put a ton of work into this project and am only a year away. I pretty much only have to write the thesis and finish up some statistical data analysis. If I go to the department chair or someone above him, I will take more than a year to graduate. My husband is leaving 200miles to start medical school this summer. Every extra month that I take to graduate is another month I can't be with him 
Also, my husband knows everything about this. He wants me to report him. Or blackmail him lol.
I am a Chinese international student about one year away from graduation. I am married (to the best man [26M] ever) and have my Green Card. I have known my advisor for 3 years. For the record, he knows I am married and they have even met when we all went to a college football game (though they didn't talk much at all).
For the first year or so, we didn't meet often (like once per week to discuss my research) and it was a very professional relationship. About a year ago, him and I took a trip to a meeting in a far away state for a research conference. During that trip, we went hiking together and became somewhat closer. I was fine with this.
He started buying me lunch and inviting me to do things with him. Last birthday (in 2015) he invited me for lunch and afterwards we walked along the river. He asked me about my family and I was telling him about my mother who recently had a stroke and he must have thought that I was sad or something because he grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye and asked if I'm okay. I took my hand away and said yes. Then he was driving me back to lab, and as he parked, my hand was on my thigh and he put his hand on my hand said "Everything is going to be okay". I thought he was trying to comfort me at the time.
After that, he moved offices to the same building as my lab. So we see each other more often. He gave me his favorite Simon and Garfunkle CD. About two months ago, he took an international business trip and e-mailed me frequently with non-business related items. He finished his first e-mail with "I actually miss you and will be glad to see you next week". Then a second email he sent the lyrics to the song "I am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkle and about how he relates to the song's lyrics and wrote some philosophical stuff about love and friendship. I started getting the vibe that he might be romantically interested in me. I replied with a very short e-mail and said that I like the song Cecilia because it sounds happy.
He replied "Thank you for writing to me during my time in [Foreign Country]. I really appreciate it. Your e-mail helped transform my times of loneliness in Africa into happy thoughts about you. I feel that our writing during this time helped us to understand each other better and made our friendship stronger. That is very important to me!" I didn't reply.
After he returned, he sent me an email that simply said "I wrote a poem inspired by you. I would like to recite it to you when I get a chance. I hope you can open your heart and try to understand my words." I didn't reply
Then when we were in lab, he asked me if he could recite it. I said okay and he said he would some time.
Then he invited me to racquetball this weekend. In the middle of the game, he saw me sweating so he came up and brushed my hair to the side.
Then today, he e-mailed me early this morning about my research project. Shortly after (2 hours ago), he sent this:
I hope you know that I love you -- I think you must know that. I have not tried to hide my love and growing friendship for you. I feel that you love me also. Your friendship is very important to me. I hope to share the poem I wrote for you, but the poem makes it clear how important you are to me and that I value your friendship. With your permission, I will recite the poem to you, but if you do not want that, I will keep the poem silent. I really want to be respectful of your wishes.
Love, [Advisor's name]"
No reply. Then he sent this e-mail (30 minutes ago):
"I am worried that you might think differently about me and that you might be mad at me. From my point of view, nothing has changed. I am your friend and that is the most important thing to me. I like our friendship as it is, and I do not want to lose it.
Love, [Advisor's name]"
Then just as I'm writing this, he e-mailed me again asking if I'm mad at him and that he hopes nothing changes and that his friendship with me is very important to him. He then sent me a text message saying the same thing, and signed it "Love, Advisor"
This is making me uncomfortable and I don't know how to let him down easy. I will need his help writing my thesis proposal. The only thing I want is to hurry up and graduate so I can join my husband (he is leaving 200 miles away for medical school this summer and we will be apart for however long it takes me to graduate). My husband was not sure what to do either, so he suggested posting on here.
tl;dr: I think my advisor is romantically interested in me. I just want to graduate without making things weird. What should I do?
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Oct 16, 2017 21:05
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- small ghost
- Jan 30, 2013
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A one part lesson in self-ownage
A really nice, cute, fun, smart guy (mid 20sM) asked me (20f) out after knowing him for 2 months in class. The date was to Outback and I said no because I have an aversion to chain restaurants. Am I just being a snob? I felt ok about it at first but now I don't.
u/flutterbye15 posted:
This is kind of a silly question, because part of me thinks what's done is done but part of me hopes that he gives me a second chance.
So I met "ray" in a class. He's ex military so he's a bit older than most of the other people in class. He also exudes a sense of confidence and commitment that makes him seem more intelligent than the guys I've been hanging out with since starting school. He's also staggeringly good looking, was in the special forces or seals (I don't know much about the military, sorry) does jiu-jitsu and is just really cool.
I was very happy when he asked me out for a date this weekend. I said I didn't care what we did and he said he would love to take me for to his favorite restaurant. I said cool, and then he said it was Outback steakhouse and I said in a totally b!tichy way "oh I don't do chain restaurants." He said seriously...I said I'm totally serious. He said he was sorry to bother me. I said no problem and we sort of awkwardly parted. It was one of those situations where I knew I was acting wrong in the moment but my pride just wouldn't let me back down.
So this was Thursday, and I texted him Friday and said "I'm really sorry for what I said yesterday. I was rude and inappropriate and i would love a second chance."
And I have not heard anything.
Am I truly being a snob? Am I ok to have my standards of not eating at chain restaurants? Should I apologize again? He is a great guy and someone I'd be willing to realign some things for to get to know better. Should I try and get me to give him a second chance?
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Oct 16, 2017 21:06
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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A one part lesson in self-ownage
A really nice, cute, fun, smart guy (mid 20sM) asked me (20f) out after knowing him for 2 months in class. The date was to Outback and I said no because I have an aversion to chain restaurants. Am I just being a snob? I felt ok about it at first but now I don't.
never reward a war criminal (most veterans participated in iraq directly or indirectly) with sex
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Oct 16, 2017 21:09
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- Blade Runner
- Aug 14, 2015
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My [19 F] religious mother [56 F] is upset because I cut my hair.
quote:
Thanks in advance for reading. This is long and rambling, and I apologize for that.
Backstory: My mother belongs to the Old Apostolic Lutheran Church; she has been a firm believer because she was born and raised in that faith. Our family is very divided on the issue of religion; my dad married into the church, and my brothers don't go anymore. I rarely go now, and avoid the topic with my mother whenever possible. I'm living at home while I attend a local college.
A few days ago, I asked my sister-in-law to cut my hair while my mother was at work. The reason I wanted my hair cut was because I look very much like my mother, down to the approximate hair length.
That didn't bother me until the evening before I had my hair cut, though. Among other things my mother doesn't believe in, my hair has never been cut. I've had trims, but that's it.
What finally pushed me over the edge was what she said that evening. I was talking about college and saying that I hoped to meet someone there--I've never been in a relationship, because I didn't find anyone I wanted to be with from either the church (when I believed) or outside of it. My mother became subdued and replied that she wanted me to find "a Christian mate."
We haven't seen eye-to-eye for a year or so now. I've never brought up the topic with anyone from church, because I know all too well what their reaction (regardless of who they were to me) would be. They would absolutely believe that I was just confused, lost, and drowning in sin/"the world." They would also believe that it was their job to talk sense into me. Once neither of us gave up, they would go to the preachers and ask for advice.
My mother has been concerned over all of our souls. She drops hints about church when she sees an opportunity. I'm the youngest in the family, and the only girl, so she's kind of pinned her hopes on me. I know that she realizes I'm drifting away, but I don't think she knows how far I've gone.
Well, she had a clearer understanding when she came home. I'd been planning on showing my parents separately, since I felt too terrified to show them at the same time. My dad is a lot more relaxed about everything, but there are some issues that he sides with my mom on. He supported my decision in this case.
My mom did not. We didn't have a full-blown argument, but she looked very disappointed and shocked. I told her that I was donating my hair, that it was my decision and I was an adult, and that it was just hair. In turn, she wanted to know if I would take the hair cut further, if I would curl my hair or perm it. (That's two more things on the list that are forbidden.)
She asked me to promise not to do that again. I said I wouldn't do it again, because I knew she would never give it up if I said no. (To be honest, if it grows back to my waist, I probably will. But regardless, it disturbed me how hung-up she was over it. This is my body, not hers. I won't be a doll to satisfy her religion.)
I guess my questions are if this has happened to others, and how you reacted? How did, or do, you deal with (a) strict and religious parent(s)?
I also don't know if I'm overreacting. I know that there was at least a little bit of spite in what I did, and I'm not proud of that. She is still my mother, and I love her. But it's not possible for me to continue living a lie.
tl;dr: My mother and I don't hold the same views on religion. It's a strain in our relationship.
Have any of you had (a) religious parent(s), and how did you deal with that?
Edit- I think I deleted someone's comment, if that 's possible? I'm sorry to whoever that was, I didn't look at your username. I was replying, and then I hit the back arrow, I think? Again, I'm sorry.
Edit #2-to the Redditor who advised no contact and leaving right away: She is a good person, even if she is overzealous. She grew up in that environment, and the church is very limiting. Her parents died believing in her faith, so that's probably part of why it's so important to her.
She was a rebel in her own way when she married outside of the church.
I'll definitely move out when I can support myself, but until then, I'll do what I have to. That doesn't mean that I'll follow in her footsteps.
Buy her a male prostitute.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:10
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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My PhD advisor [53 M] is making me [28F] increasingly uncomfortable with borderline romantic gestures/e-mailsNon-Romantic
Oh god, what the hell do you even do in a situation like this?
Can't a PhD advisor basically dead end you?
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Oct 16, 2017 21:12
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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My PhD advisor [53 M] is making me [28F] increasingly uncomfortable with borderline romantic gestures/e-mailsNon-Romantic
Get out. Don't bother reporting it, they won't protect you. Just escape.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:12
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Oh god, what the hell do you even do in a situation like this?
Can't a PhD advisor basically dead end you?
if you play it right you can probably get enough $$$ it doesn't matter, or a nice nest egg and a rec from the head of the department
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Oct 16, 2017 21:13
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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I think that my [22/F] ex-boyfriend/best friend [M/21] may have borderline personality disorder. Is this fixable?
quote:
I spent the weekend with my best friend's family and the whole time he was being very distant and then very lovey. It was annoying, but I just had a good time with his fam.
On the way home, we stopped by a fast food place and I got fries. I put them in the middle and said he could have half, never mind the fact that he refuses to share fries with me when he orders them. He makes a joke about a girl he recently hooked up with, and I mentioned that I was upset that he had unprotected sex with her and then with me without telling me, and that I would need to go get tested again and I wasn't happy about it. I picked up the tray and threw away the fries, and as we walked out to the car, he said,
"That was really disrespectful."
Me: "What? I thought you were done. We agreed they were kind of soggy and I thought you were done eating them."
Him: "I wasn't done. I shouldn't even drive you home."
(We're in his hometown, my car is parked at his house.)
Me: "Okay, I mean, I could uber to your place to get my car if you want?"
Him: "No. I'll drive you home, but when we get there, you leave."
Me: silent, get in car
We get to his place, he opens the back door and takes my stuff out and sets it on the ground. Without a word, he opens his front door, walks in, and locks it. I walked around his neighborhood for a while, crying, unsure what to do. I came back, realized I had his moms books, and rang the doorbell (hoping for him to come and apologize). Rang the doorbell one more time, no answer. Called his cellphone - voicemail.
I left, crying, and called my mom.
It's been a day and he hasn't reached out. I cleared all the photos of him from my phone, I've been listening to an audiobook about narcissistic personality disorder, and I think this might be the final straw. I want him to text me, though. I keep glancing at my phone hoping that he'll apologize. I want to walk away but I keep thinking it might be fixable.
Please help :/
TL:DR: Borderline personality disorder: is it possible to work through it? Love my best friend but he did something really messed up
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Oct 16, 2017 21:13
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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Get out. Don't bother reporting it, they won't protect you. Just escape.
She's a year from graduating and in a PhD program, I don't want to invoke sunk cost here but jesus christ that's a lot of work to table and risk not being able to pick back up
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Oct 16, 2017 21:14
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- Anne Whateley
- Feb 11, 2007
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 i like nice words
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if you play it right you can probably get enough $$$ it doesn't matter, or a nice nest egg and a rec from the head of the department
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Oct 16, 2017 21:15
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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She's a year from graduating and in a PhD program, I don't want to invoke sunk cost here but jesus christ that's a lot of work to table and risk not being able to pick back up
I was just as close to my phd when I left. You can't do anything when you're being abused there in any way. You can only leave and escape. You got hosed, that's life.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:15
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- small ghost
- Jan 30, 2013
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This is so good it almost makes me think it's fake.
Edit: That Outback bread is DOPE so she's really missing out here.
The special forces detail kinda pushes it into the fake category for me but it's funny as hell so gently caress it.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:16
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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She's a year from graduating and in a PhD program, I don't want to invoke sunk cost here but jesus christ that's a lot of work to table and risk not being able to pick back up
A PhD aint worth getting sexually assaulted for.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:17
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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I was just as close to my phd when I left. You can't do anything when you're being abused there in any way. You can only leave and escape. You got hosed, that's life.
Reload from an earlier save
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Oct 16, 2017 21:23
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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i never was sexually assaulted in academia 
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Oct 16, 2017 21:26
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- Zzulu
- May 15, 2009
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(▰˘v˘▰)
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Bring a knife, put it to his balls and whisper in his ear, gently, that he should tread carefully
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Oct 16, 2017 21:29
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- Zzulu
- May 15, 2009
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(▰˘v˘▰)
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That's just general advice really
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Oct 16, 2017 21:29
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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My [27F] ex's [26M] therapist [early 30's F] told him that I was a "oval office" and suggested that I have borderline personality disorderBreakups
quote:
Throwaway, and I'll try and keep this short. So my ex and I were friends in college, grew apart, we reconnected when he took a trip to the country I was living in and we traveled together for a week or so. This was right before I was set to leave the country and return to the US, so I suppose we started dating then.
We dated for three months long distance, and then he started pressuring me to become exclusive. I didn't want to, but then he gave me an ultimatum of cutting me out completely or dating exclusively, so of course I chose the latter because he did mean a lot to me and I didn't want to lose him.
Exclusivity went... alright. However I started feeling overwhelmed because he was constantly texting me, would get upset if I didn't text back right away, and also be argumentative about little things. (Note: I understand that it's important to text back promptly, but when the texts are coming hourly it gets exhausting after a while. An example of a silly argument we got in was about facial tattoos. I had gotten ripped off by a homeless guy with a facial tattoo--not much, just $1 for a cigarette and he never ponied up the dollar--and I said something along the lines of "whatever, that guy is probably not on the best path anyway and not making the ideal choices b/c he has a facial tattoo. He countered with "no, there are plenty of successful people with facial tattoos." I said "yeah, but probably the vast majority of them aren't doing super well." etc. etc. I'm not saying my stance is correct (sorry facial tattoo people), but I don't think this should've turned into an hour-long argument)
So eventually we broke up after three months (6 months dating total, 3 exclusive). He started seeing a therapist. However, we still kept in touch. I had bought a ticket to go to a wedding with him that was dated after the breakup, and since we were on good terms we still decided to go together.
At the airport, we got into another silly argument over text. Basically, I had gotten a credit card that gives you points, and I added my brother as an authorized user because I got bonus points doing so. My little brother is completely trustworthy, this isn't an issue. I was just telling my ex that I should talk to my brother about getting his own credit card so that he can build credit (he's 25 and has ZERO credit). And ex countered with 'nah he doesn't need it. Your parents can co-sign.' I said, 'no, but I think it's good for him, especially because he wants to be independent from my parents, and what if something happened to them?' And he said, 'Your family's estate can co-sign.' Back and forth, back and forth. All I was saying was that I should talk to my brother about getting a credit card to start building credit (what I thought was a non-controversial statement), and he was arguing back how that wasn't necessary and he's an accountant so he knows. This argument was 1.5-2 hours over text and honestly exhausting. I told him that he should send this argument to his therapist to get her opinion on this, because I think being unnecessarily argumentative is something he needs to work on. It is possible that I'm the argumentative one, but I don't get into heated arguments too often, and with my ex it was happening quite frequently, so I think the argumentative problem is maybe on both our sides, but definitely on his side.
Next session he showed his therapist the conversation, and she called me a "oval office," and suggested that I had BPD and that he should go no contact with me. He called me to inform me of this, and it genuinely shook me. It made me question my own mental health, and I cried. Then I did some reading on it, watched a documentary, talked to some close friends, and am fairly certain I don't have it. I suppose there's always a chance though.
We did go no contact for a while, but after a few weeks he initiated contact, and slowly we've built our friendship back up (with no talks of getting back together), and we text nearly every day and use rabb.it to watch a show together that we had started when we were dating. Everything's gravy.
However, the fact that his therapist called me a oval office and suggested that I have BPD, told him I was a toxic person, he should cut me out of his life, etc. really rubs me the wrong way. From reading /r/relationships there definitely are toxic people you should cut out, but calling me a oval office and based off our text argument to say that it appears I have BPD and should go get checked out just seems... unprofessional, I guess? And if she's saying things like this that therapists shouldn't say, what else is she telling him? She doesn't want him talking to me, but obviously he still does. We hardly get into any arguments at all, and honestly things have been pretty great with us now, and I consider him one of my closest friends and confidantes. In that sense maybe she is doing well as a therapist. It's been months since this has happened, but it still nags at me and I don't know if I should just get over it and this is standard therapist stuff or not. Btw, I'm not worried about losing him, it's pretty clear he won't cut contact with me, and I don't see this therapist as a threat to our friendship. I'm just questioning her professionalism.
tl;dr: Ex's therapist called me a oval office and suggested I have BPD and told ex that he should cut contact with me. We still text / talk almost every day and things have never been better between us now, but it bothers me that he's seeing this therapist because I feel like her reaction to reading our text argument was unprofessional and I wonder if she's saying anything else that she shouldn't be. Is this standard par-for-the-course for therapists? Should I just get over it?
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#
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Oct 16, 2017 21:31
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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If something like this happens, can you pick up your PHD someplace else or are you pretty much screwed?
My [27F] ex's [26M] therapist [early 30's F] told him that I was a "oval office" and suggested that I have borderline personality disorderBreakups
this is what I was talking about when I said borderline is overdiagnosed in women btw
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#
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Oct 16, 2017 21:32
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- Blade Runner
- Aug 14, 2015
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I (47M) just found out my wife (47F) had sex with one of our mutual best friends ~14 years ago (before we were married).
quote:
TL;DR: See the subject line.
Wife ("Elise") and I were married in 2005 and had been dating since 1999. Two of our best friends are "Jake" (42M) and his wife "Maria" (49F) who were dating since about 1997 and got married in autumn 2003. The four of us collectively met each other at the same gym we all attended back in 1998 so we've all known each other for awhile. When we were ready to leave our apartments for homes we coordinated with each other live in the same town, which we do.
Recently Jake and Maria cleaned out their basement and were throwing away a couple of old PCs. I asked if I could have them and they said sure, so I took them home. One of them is a homemade whitebox PC that as best as I can figure was built somewhere around 2001, and I was more than a little surprised to discover that it booted right up into WinXP with little complaint. Once I got the machine up and running it became quickly apparent that this was Jake's old PC and he still had some files on it, though the newest files on the desktop were from 2005. I decided to be a nice guy and copy his files off before wiping the drive, just in case.
In doing so I also decided to back up his Outlook email. As I was backing up his mailboxes I found a folder called "Elise" and curiosity got the better of me so I took a look. There was a block of about 50 messages from Elise to Jake sent in September 2003, each with the subject line of "what now". As I read through them some dots connected in my mind, and my heart dropped.
In September 2003, Elise and I were in a committed relationship (as were Jake and Maria) though we weren't living together yet. As part of "public record" there was a Friday evening where Elise and Jake decided to visit this Brazilian barbeque place not too far from the gym we all went to. Maria was working that evening (she's a nurse) and I didn't feel like traveling into the city to join them so it was just the two of them which was neither unusual nor suspicious. The two of them spent almost three hours at the restaurant and got a little drunk. Jake didn't think he'd be able to make it back to his place so he crashed at Elise's apartment. As the "public record" story goes, he passed out on the floor under Elise's dinner table and the two of them didn't wake up until around 2pm at which time Jake took a shower and went back to his place. This corroborates with other facts, such as the fact that neither Maria nor I could reach the two of them until that time. When the story was related we all had a good laugh over it, and the story still comes up every once in awhile as a tease.
But according to the emails that's not what really happened. From what I gathered from the emails the two of them were very flirty in the restaurant, moreso when the alcohol started taking effect. By the time they got back to Elise's apartment both of them were at full throttle. The two of them showered together and had sex multiple times that night. They didn't wake up at 2pm; they decided to get out of bed at 2pm after having oral sex for the "final" time, then showered together again and conconcted the story that they told Maria and I afterwards.
The back-and-forth emails that I found were each of them comparing notes, making sure their stories matched up, and making sure nothing was suspicious. There was nothing in those emails that indicated that they wanted a repeat performance, but there was also nothing in those emails that indicated any regret or otherwise slammed the door on the possibility of a future encounter.
I don't know if Maria knows any of what really happened that night. If she does, that means that my wife and two best friends have been actively lying to me for upwards of the past 14 years. Regardless of what Maria knows, it also means that Jake went to the altar to marry Maria just weeks after loving my girlfriend, who was also one of Maria's bridesmaids.
I am sick to my stomach right now and have no idea what I should do. If I'd known that Elise hosed Jake back then I would have broken it off with her and never would have married her or had children with her. Do I say something? Do I approach Maria and see if she knows? Do I keep it just to Elise? Do I throw it into the open when the four of us are together? The "best case" scenario here is me staying silent and miserable about it for the rest of my life, having to pretend that everything is fine with Elise and Jake and Maria when nothing is fine at all. But I know me and I can't live a life like that. I'm pretty sure that my family is done now. And I know Maria; if she doesn't know and she learns about it now then she's going to reign fire down on Jake, and it will destroy that family too. No matter how I look at it, if I hold it in then everyone except me is fine but if I let it out, then everyone including me is hosed.
What do I do?
Jesus Christ. When I first read this I thought it was a sort of "They were together before we were, she is tainted" stupidity but this is actively messed up.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:39
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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this is what I was talking about when I said borderline is overdiagnosed in women btw
I suspect the therapist did not call his patient's girlfriend a oval office, or diagnose her sight unseen. Probably said something like "she might have some borderline traits".
And again, your repeated hostility towards authority figures who may "judge" you is enlightening. It must be nice to have a narrative where everyone who criticizes you is incompetent or sexist 
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Oct 16, 2017 21:40
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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I (47M) just found out my wife (47F) had sex with one of our mutual best friends ~14 years ago (before we were married).
Jesus Christ. When I first read this I thought it was a sort of "They were together before we were, she is tainted" stupidity but this is actively messed up.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:43
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- small ghost
- Jan 30, 2013
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I (47M) just found out my wife (47F) had sex with one of our mutual best friends ~14 years ago (before we were married).
Jesus Christ. When I first read this I thought it was a sort of "They were together before we were, she is tainted" stupidity but this is actively messed up.
It's gonna destroy you one way or another, might as well take everyone else down with you.
Alternate suggestion: hold it in until you're drunk at an event and then reveal all. Bonus points if it's in front of a) all your mutual friends or b) your respective families.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:52
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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Yikes. Yeah, it's messed up and I'd probably blow up my family and the other one, metaphorically.
Like, it's ancient history at this point, but does that really make it better? Who knows what happened in the last 14 years?
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Oct 16, 2017 21:53
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- Ham Sandwiches
- Jul 7, 2000
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The special forces detail kinda pushes it into the fake category for me but it's funny as hell so gently caress it.
I find it unlikely that someone wrote this as a creative writing example or to prove a point because it's so very banal. Like unless this is some kind of redpill false flag to make women feel bad about turning down chain restaurants, I'm not really seeing it.
Maybe it's to shine a light on the falsehood of the "You decide, I'll go wherever you like" phrase secretly meaning "You guess but better guess right" but even then what's the point? A subtle attempt to influence women to be more vocal with their preferences? Again, seems unlikely.
I think more like this lady dropped the "Oh chain restaurants, yuck" phrase reflexively and it would normally get props in her circle of friends but here did the opposite, especially to a former military guy who is in school and tight on cash / feeling judged
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Oct 16, 2017 21:54
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 01:20
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Yeah, the whole thing is the utter lack of remorse they felt for it. Like, how do you deal with the fact that people you've cared about and trusted have lied to you for 14 years?
revolver (does't leave shells), bought at gun show with cash
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Oct 16, 2017 21:57
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Oct 16, 2017 21:01
Cat Army 
