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chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Personal schadenfreude: we had a teenager at work that I attempted to fire after having a confrontation with another employee where he threatened her and then attempted to walk out on me when I tried to discipline him for it, but the CEO liked him too much (he's an AP and Honors student on a scholarship to Chicago who made himself look like a good, smart boy in front of him) so he only got moved over to a different office to keep him away from the staff and we were all left really mad that we couldn't just trash his rear end.

We just found out that he had used our card making equipment to make a fake ID. He's about to be very sorry he didn't get fired the first time around.

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Admiral Joeslop
Jul 8, 2010




That depends entirely on how far the CEO is going to go to bat for this kid.

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

chitoryu12 posted:

Personal schadenfreude: we had a teenager at work that I attempted to fire after having a confrontation with another employee where he threatened her and then attempted to walk out on me when I tried to discipline him for it, but the CEO liked him too much (he's an AP and Honors student on a scholarship to Chicago who made himself look like a good, smart boy in front of him) so he only got moved over to a different office to keep him away from the staff and we were all left really mad that we couldn't just trash his rear end.

We just found out that he had used our card making equipment to make a fake ID. He's about to be very sorry he didn't get fired the first time around.

sounds like a straight shooter with upper management written all over him

dumb.
Apr 11, 2014

-=💀=-
https://i.imgur.com/JMqPKen.gifv

Fishstick
Jul 9, 2005

Does not require preheating
https://i.imgur.com/aiY6Myv.mp4

The_end
May 17, 2014

What happens when someone attempts to steal my motorcycle.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Admiral Joeslop posted:

That depends entirely on how far the CEO is going to go to bat for this kid.

He's not with this one. Workplace spats can be waved off, but if he got caught with a fake ID he would be able to lead back to us as the source. That's a legal problem nobody wants to have.

doverhog
May 31, 2013

Defender of democracy and human rights 🇺🇦

chitoryu12 posted:

a confrontation with another employee where he threatened her

Like, threatened to do what? If it was violence of any kind you should've called the cops.

nerdz
Oct 12, 2004


Complex, statistically improbable things are by their nature more difficult to explain than simple, statistically probable things.
Grimey Drawer

baw posted:

Such an rear end in a top hat thing for them to do but from a utilitarian perspective the joy that the crowd gets more than makes up for the woman's dogshit-induced distress

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

doverhog posted:

Like, threatened to do what? If it was violence of any kind you should've called the cops.

He said that he would have “beaten the poo poo out of [her]” if she had said something he thought she said. If it wasn’t for the aforementioned CEO, he’d have been canned from that moment on.

He’s a twerp that most people in the office could beat up and was probably speaking impulsively. Rich kid who’s used to getting his way.

minato
Jun 7, 2004

cutty cain't hang, say 7-up.
Taco Defender

Phanatic posted:

What kind of dumbass must you be to try to be a suicide bomber, build your bomb, set it off, and wind up only *injuring* yourself?

When Chris Morris was doing research for his terrorist-bumbling Four Lions movie, he found a story of some middle eastern terrorists who saw an opportunity to blow up a US warship by aiming a dinghy full of explosives at it. But they were so incompetent that they overloaded the dinghy and sunk it.

Stare-Out
Mar 11, 2010

Four Lions is more of a documentary than anything.

BovineFury
Oct 28, 2007
I moo for great justice!
Somebody is preggers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC-As-aLWuE

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
https://imgur.com/1BMUEb6.gifv

Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord
Over a million tweets about "Keaton" on my tweeter. I thought maybe Michael Keaton was the new Hollywood pedo rapist or something terrible.

Apparently it's about a kid who got beat up because he called some black kids the n-word, so Captain America got Milkshake Duck'd into inviting him to the Infinity War premier. What a time to be alive.

JOHNSON COCKSLAP
Apr 2, 2017

by Lowtax
hopefully twitter stops listening and believing as a result

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

I'd be even happier if I remembered to replace my bike seat with one with a hidden knife that pops up when you sit on it.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

I mean the best result of this was putting your rear end in garbage in the first place so it's not like the ending was too much different

`Nemesis
Dec 30, 2000

railroad graffiti
Garbage in, garbage out

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Saint Freak posted:

Over a million tweets about "Keaton" on my tweeter. I thought maybe Michael Keaton was the new Hollywood pedo rapist or something terrible.

Apparently it's about a kid who got beat up because he called some black kids the n-word, so Captain America got Milkshake Duck'd into inviting him to the Infinity War premier. What a time to be alive.

Is that what he did? I can't find anything except where apparently a journalist ended up talking to a fake racist profile pretending to be the kid's mom.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Admiral Joeslop posted:

More like oldaccountless.

Battlefront 2, after all the horrible press about the garbage monetization and lootbox-grind in the game, sold 882,000 copies in the first month.

http://fortune.com/2017/12/08/star-wars-battlefront-ii-sales/

Call of Duty: World War 2 sold something like 4.4 million copies around that same time. EA really hosed the chicken on this one.

EA really screwed themselves with it because they did the thing where if you pre-ordered the expensive version you got to play early. So because of that a lot of people got to see how horrible the microtransactions were and were able to spread the word about it. If they hadn't done that word of mouth wouldn't have gotten out until the actual release date and sales would have probably been much higher.

ekuNNN
Nov 27, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

chitoryu12 posted:

Is that what he did? I can't find anything except where apparently a journalist ended up talking to a fake racist profile pretending to be the kid's mom.

"Journalist" is a word whose definition gets vaguer and vaguer every week, it seems. Maybe if Gawker fires him he can get a job at CNN.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

Raygereio posted:

On the grand chart of dumdasses I'd rate him slightly above the dude who stuffed explosives up his rear end.

Now that's what I call a dirty bomb eyyyyy

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

The kid's mom had confederate flags on her instagram but I think it's too early to blame the kid for his mom's garbage

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Mu Zeta posted:

The kid's mom had confederate flags on her instagram but I think it's too early to blame the kid for his mom's garbage

Dunno what's true but him blubbering is pretty funny regardless.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.
Homer, are you still holding on to the bag of drugs?

BovineFury
Oct 28, 2007
I moo for great justice!
Paying people to do the one chip challenge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_OsMv6wSy8

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day

BovineFury posted:

Paying people to do the one chip challenge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_OsMv6wSy8

WE OUT HERE ON VENICE BEACH AND WE DOING THE BEARMACE CHALLENGE! YOU GOTTA EAT THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF BEARMACE!

Former DILF
Jul 13, 2017

Phanatic posted:

Homer, are you still holding on to the bag of drugs?

MiddleOne
Feb 17, 2011


I'm struggling to understand the logistics of how an arm actually gets stuck in a toilet bowl. A vending machine I can at least get.

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion

Saint Freak posted:

Over a million tweets about "Keaton" on my tweeter. I thought maybe Michael Keaton was the new Hollywood pedo rapist or something terrible.

Apparently it's about a kid who got beat up because he called some black kids the n-word, so Captain America got Milkshake Duck'd into inviting him to the Infinity War premier. What a time to be alive.

The Schad is on humanity

TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!

LifeSunDeath posted:

WE OUT HERE ON VENICE BEACH AND WE DOING THE BEARMACE CHALLENGE! YOU GOTTA EAT THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF BEARMACE!

Paging BakedAlaska

Atticus_1354
Dec 10, 2006

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

MiddleOne posted:

I'm struggling to understand the logistics of how an arm actually gets stuck in a toilet bowl. A vending machine I can at least get.

Dude looks like a prisoner and that looks like a prison toilet so I am going to guess it was the end of a long line of poor decisions.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Atticus_1354 posted:

Dude looks like a prisoner and that looks like a prison toilet so I am going to guess it was the end of a long line of poor decisions.

I think there is a metal plate that opens and closes by going down, so if he stuck his hand too far down when he tries to pull it up the plate stops him from removing his hand. Or:

Phanatic posted:

Homer, are you still holding on to the bag of drugs?

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

MiddleOne posted:

I'm struggling to understand the logistics of how an arm actually gets stuck in a toilet bowl. A vending machine I can at least get.

It's a scene from a new Quentin Tarentino Narnia remake called "The Lion, The Witch, and The Stainless Steel Toilet"

Mad Doctor Cthulhu
Mar 3, 2008

TotalLossBrain posted:

Paging BakedAlaska



Extra schaden: this is probably the high point of his year.

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

Extra schaden: this is probably the high point of his year.

Life dumping on Baked Alaska has been one of the few really great things this year

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Discount Dracula
Aug 15, 2003


Nap Ghost

Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

Extra schaden: this is probably the high point of his year.

Baked Alaska can try, but he'll need to work hard to top Richard Spencer.



:godwinning:

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