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Personal schadenfreude: we had a teenager at work that I attempted to fire after having a confrontation with another employee where he threatened her and then attempted to walk out on me when I tried to discipline him for it, but the CEO liked him too much (he's an AP and Honors student on a scholarship to Chicago who made himself look like a good, smart boy in front of him) so he only got moved over to a different office to keep him away from the staff and we were all left really mad that we couldn't just trash his rear end. We just found out that he had used our card making equipment to make a fake ID. He's about to be very sorry he didn't get fired the first time around.
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Dec 11, 2017 18:33
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That depends entirely on how far the CEO is going to go to bat for this kid.
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Dec 11, 2017 18:35
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chitoryu12 posted:Personal schadenfreude: we had a teenager at work that I attempted to fire after having a confrontation with another employee where he threatened her and then attempted to walk out on me when I tried to discipline him for it, but the CEO liked him too much (he's an AP and Honors student on a scholarship to Chicago who made himself look like a good, smart boy in front of him) so he only got moved over to a different office to keep him away from the staff and we were all left really mad that we couldn't just trash his rear end. sounds like a straight shooter with upper management written all over him
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Dec 11, 2017 18:39
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https://i.imgur.com/JMqPKen.gifv
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Dec 11, 2017 18:49
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https://i.imgur.com/aiY6Myv.mp4
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Dec 11, 2017 18:51
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What happens when someone attempts to steal my motorcycle.
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Dec 11, 2017 18:53
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Admiral Joeslop posted:That depends entirely on how far the CEO is going to go to bat for this kid. He's not with this one. Workplace spats can be waved off, but if he got caught with a fake ID he would be able to lead back to us as the source. That's a legal problem nobody wants to have.
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Dec 11, 2017 18:58
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chitoryu12 posted:a confrontation with another employee where he threatened her Like, threatened to do what? If it was violence of any kind you should've called the cops.
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Dec 11, 2017 19:02
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baw posted:Such an rear end in a top hat thing for them to do but from a utilitarian perspective the joy that the crowd gets more than makes up for the woman's dogshit-induced distress 
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Dec 11, 2017 19:05
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doverhog posted:Like, threatened to do what? If it was violence of any kind you should've called the cops. He said that he would have “beaten the poo poo out of [her]” if she had said something he thought she said. If it wasn’t for the aforementioned CEO, he’d have been canned from that moment on. He’s a twerp that most people in the office could beat up and was probably speaking impulsively. Rich kid who’s used to getting his way.
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Dec 11, 2017 19:15
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Phanatic posted:What kind of dumbass must you be to try to be a suicide bomber, build your bomb, set it off, and wind up only *injuring* yourself? When Chris Morris was doing research for his terrorist-bumbling Four Lions movie, he found a story of some middle eastern terrorists who saw an opportunity to blow up a US warship by aiming a dinghy full of explosives at it. But they were so incompetent that they overloaded the dinghy and sunk it.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:40
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Four Lions is more of a documentary than anything.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:50
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Somebody is preggers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC-As-aLWuE
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Dec 11, 2017 20:54
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https://imgur.com/1BMUEb6.gifv
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Dec 11, 2017 20:54
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Over a million tweets about "Keaton" on my tweeter. I thought maybe Michael Keaton was the new Hollywood pedo rapist or something terrible. Apparently it's about a kid who got beat up because he called some black kids the n-word, so Captain America got Milkshake Duck'd into inviting him to the Infinity War premier. What a time to be alive.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:55
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hopefully twitter stops listening and believing as a result
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Dec 11, 2017 21:09
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I'd be even happier if I remembered to replace my bike seat with one with a hidden knife that pops up when you sit on it.
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Dec 11, 2017 21:27
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I mean the best result of this was putting your rear end in garbage in the first place so it's not like the ending was too much different
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Dec 11, 2017 21:31
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Garbage in, garbage out
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Dec 11, 2017 21:33
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Saint Freak posted:Over a million tweets about "Keaton" on my tweeter. I thought maybe Michael Keaton was the new Hollywood pedo rapist or something terrible. Is that what he did? I can't find anything except where apparently a journalist ended up talking to a fake racist profile pretending to be the kid's mom.
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Dec 11, 2017 22:15
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Admiral Joeslop posted:More like oldaccountless. EA really screwed themselves with it because they did the thing where if you pre-ordered the expensive version you got to play early. So because of that a lot of people got to see how horrible the microtransactions were and were able to spread the word about it. If they hadn't done that word of mouth wouldn't have gotten out until the actual release date and sales would have probably been much higher.
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Dec 11, 2017 23:03
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Dec 11, 2017 23:11
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chitoryu12 posted:Is that what he did? I can't find anything except where apparently a journalist ended up talking to a fake racist profile pretending to be the kid's mom. "Journalist" is a word whose definition gets vaguer and vaguer every week, it seems. Maybe if Gawker fires him he can get a job at CNN.
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Dec 11, 2017 23:14
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Raygereio posted:On the grand chart of dumdasses I'd rate him slightly above the dude who stuffed explosives up his rear end. Now that's what I call a dirty bomb eyyyyy
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Dec 11, 2017 23:16
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The kid's mom had confederate flags on her instagram but I think it's too early to blame the kid for his mom's garbage
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Dec 11, 2017 23:30
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Mu Zeta posted:The kid's mom had confederate flags on her instagram but I think it's too early to blame the kid for his mom's garbage Dunno what's true but him blubbering is pretty funny regardless.
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Dec 11, 2017 23:34
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Dec 11, 2017 23:47
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Homer, are you still holding on to the bag of drugs?
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Dec 11, 2017 23:51
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Paying people to do the one chip challenge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_OsMv6wSy8
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Dec 12, 2017 00:18
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BovineFury posted:Paying people to do the one chip challenge. WE OUT HERE ON VENICE BEACH AND WE DOING THE BEARMACE CHALLENGE! YOU GOTTA EAT THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF BEARMACE!
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Dec 12, 2017 00:34
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Phanatic posted:Homer, are you still holding on to the bag of drugs?
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Dec 12, 2017 00:38
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I'm struggling to understand the logistics of how an arm actually gets stuck in a toilet bowl. A vending machine I can at least get.
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Dec 12, 2017 00:38
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Saint Freak posted:Over a million tweets about "Keaton" on my tweeter. I thought maybe Michael Keaton was the new Hollywood pedo rapist or something terrible. The Schad is on humanity
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Dec 12, 2017 00:42
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LifeSunDeath posted:WE OUT HERE ON VENICE BEACH AND WE DOING THE BEARMACE CHALLENGE! YOU GOTTA EAT THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF BEARMACE! Paging BakedAlaska 
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Dec 12, 2017 01:05
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MiddleOne posted:I'm struggling to understand the logistics of how an arm actually gets stuck in a toilet bowl. A vending machine I can at least get. Dude looks like a prisoner and that looks like a prison toilet so I am going to guess it was the end of a long line of poor decisions.
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Dec 12, 2017 01:30
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Atticus_1354 posted:Dude looks like a prisoner and that looks like a prison toilet so I am going to guess it was the end of a long line of poor decisions. I think there is a metal plate that opens and closes by going down, so if he stuck his hand too far down when he tries to pull it up the plate stops him from removing his hand. Or: Phanatic posted:Homer, are you still holding on to the bag of drugs?
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Dec 12, 2017 01:54
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MiddleOne posted:I'm struggling to understand the logistics of how an arm actually gets stuck in a toilet bowl. A vending machine I can at least get. It's a scene from a new Quentin Tarentino Narnia remake called "The Lion, The Witch, and The Stainless Steel Toilet"
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Dec 12, 2017 01:58
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TotalLossBrain posted:Paging BakedAlaska Extra schaden: this is probably the high point of his year.
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Dec 12, 2017 02:24
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Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:Extra schaden: this is probably the high point of his year. Life dumping on Baked Alaska has been one of the few really great things this year
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Dec 12, 2017 02:37
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Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:Extra schaden: this is probably the high point of his year. Baked Alaska can try, but he'll need to work hard to top Richard Spencer.  
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Dec 12, 2017 02:43
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