- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Should I (18F) tell my brothers (14M) therapist about my parents (40's) behavior
quote:
This might be long but I could really use some advice, support, and opinions.
To get started, my mom and dad were married for 14 years and got divorced when I was 8 and my brother was 4. Our childhood was all sorts of messed up but thankfully the adults in my life made it feel like nothing was wrong and I grew up happy and didn't realize what happened until I was older.
When my dad left (according to my mother) he left her with $90 in the bank account and didn't pay any child support. He still called us regularly and would come to visit us twice a year. My mom worked three jobs in order to keep a roof over our heads before she got married.
So ten years ago my dad met a woman from another country and my mom connected with an old coworker. My dad moved to the other country and we ended up moving into my moms boyfriends house and she quickly got married to him.
My brother and I grew up with little supervision for a year or two because of my mom working so much. Once we moved into her boyfriends house he was very nice but we didn't have our own room. We shared a place in the basement and had concrete for floors and insulation for walls. We were both going to have our own rooms soon and picked out paint and everything. We started adapting to rules like needing to turn off the lights and have bedtimes and other normal aspects of life that children with involved parents do.
Except we couldn't adapt fast enough. New step dad soon hated our guts, and wouldn't acknowledge us in any way unless it was to tell us we did something wrong. He is very militaristic and strict, going way overboard when he punished us and liked to beat us down when he was in a bad mood to make himself feel better. He told my mom it was our fault their marriage was struggling.
It was very obvious that his children were favored. We would be grounded for months over something he wouldn't bat an eye if his kids did. We weren't allowed to have food after a certain time. We couldn't snack. We had to ask before we ate or drank anything. They could go through our cell phones any time they wanted to, installed tracking devices and used it in a controlling manner instead of to keep us safe, and installed spyware on our computers. We couldn't hangout with friends unless we were able to jump through a bunch of unrealistic hoops we could never attain, so rarely got to hangout with anyone. Our rooms also never got finished, by the time I moved out at 18 nothing was done, however, his children had fully furnished rooms that they used maybe two days of the week since they lived with their mom.
My dad ended up moving back down into our area because of my grandparents failing health and I moved in with him after begging to for nearly a year. I finally had a sense of normalcy. I felt like a normal person and yes there were rules but I was treated like I wasn't an inherently bad person. My mom wouldn't let my brother move too.
I lived with him for two years when he got diagnosed with cancer and decided to move to the other country since he also had citizenship there and the healthcare was better. He passed away when I was 16 and my brother was 12. Living with my mom was terrible, and I always knew I'd have my dad there for me if I ever needed him. He said he'd fly down and rent a uhaul and move me up with him if I ever needed it, but I was too scared to leave the place I called home and start New in a different country. After he died we had no one.
My dad was a good father, and I have many great memories of him. Even if he wasn't around as much as other people's parents, he still made effort and was involved in our lives. My brother didn't get as close to him since he didn't live with him like I did and was too young to remember a lot of when he was around. My dad tried to get him to come up for summer visits and for weekend visits when he was in our state but my brother wanted to hangout with his step brother instead most of the time. My dad never forced it because he didn't want my brother to resent him for forcing my brother to spend time with him.
Now my mom has always resented my father for their divorce and how things ended and she has never held her tongue. She is constantly trashing him and telling kids things they shouldn't hear about their other parent. She will never stop. She still won't, even after he died. Every conversation about him turns negative and it makes it impossible to talk to her about our grief.
My brother feels guilty for not trying to have a relationship with my father. Because of that guilt he refuses to talk about it with anyone, I can only talk to him about easier things otherwise he just shuts down.
My parents decided my brother wasn't doing enough and he was too troubled and sent him to a treatment center. It's basically rehab, even though he has no drug problems and isn't suicidal and I honestly don't even know why he's there. I kind of think my mom is trying to save her marriage and thought it would be easier if my brother wasn't around.
Since he's gotten there he's been off the walls. He's been freaking out, having anxiety attacks, outbursts of anger, and just isn't doing great. Everyone thinks it's because he's finally starting to accept and talk about our dads passing.
I think I need to talk to his therapist there, because while I don't think he needs to be in this treatment center, I also don't think he should go home. All he needed was a father figure and a sense of normalcy, but instead he's been treated awfully since he was a kid by a man who resents him while my mom stands as a bystander and remains married to a man who treats her children like dirt.
I also think it's hilarious that they think he's having outbursts because of my dads passing, and wonder why he doesn't talk about it... but why would he talk about his father to people who hated him and always turn the conversation into how he was evil?
I just want my brother to get the help he needs. I could go on and on about my parents behavior, but it would never be enough. Through physical and horrible mental abuse, we've survived but my brother is struggling. I haven't gone into great detail about the abuse we've been through, but just trust me when I say it was horrible, militaristic, controlling, and there is definitely a reason I moved out as soon as I possibly could.
TL;DR - My step father has been physically and emotionally abusive to both me and my brother and have treated him awfully since he was a child, our dad passed away and my moms always talking about how horrible my dad was, they sent my brother off to a treatment center and I want to tell his therapist about what living with them is like to hopefully give her some insight and be able to help my brother more.
UPDATE - Should I (18F) tell my brothers (14M) therapist about my parents (40s) behavior?
quote:
I talked to my brothers therapist today. I went in with my aunt and we talked for about half an hour and she told me she legally has to report physical abuse to CPS. She knows I am still reliant on my mother for many things and thought it would be a good idea to bring my brother in and see if he would say it himself so that she has a primary explanation.
We talked about the abuse we've suffered and eventually said "there are some things I haven't told you because I know you have to report it..." and then backed my story up to a T. It broke my heart, we haven't talked about it in years but he said the exact same thing I did, about the wooden spoons and then the ones with holes in them... and the belts. He said the same thing I did, and we never even talked about it. So he made the decision to say it and knew it would be reported.
I talked to her about the possibility of him living with me, and I have an extra room available. His child support would be transferred over to me and I could take care of him but my parents haven't been reported yet and he can't even get out of this place until March, and I don't even know if my mom would allow him to live with me. I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row if it becomes a possibility. Whatever happens, I can't let him go back there.
I'm bringing him some food now and we're going to visit again, just us, and spend some time together. I never intended to get CPS involved but I suppose I have no choice now, hopefully this will help me help him.
TL;DR - talked to therapist, my parents are going to be reported to CPS, I don't quite know what the future holds.
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Jan 9, 2018 19:58
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 08:32
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- Ride The Gravitron
- May 2, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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Threatened, Locked In a Basement, Called 911 to Safely Escort Me Out
I mean at least he didn't say "whilst"
None of this makes any loving sense
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Jan 9, 2018 20:00
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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Yeah, but it would make your dad happy to make your grandfather happy, so I'd go do it.
Edit: Plus the old dude was like 78 at the time that he hosed up; I feel like you've got to make that personal leap from "I'm the arbiter of what's right and wrong and what all consequences are in the world." to "Everyone is dumb, and hateful, and good and loving in some degree, and my happiness and my self worth are things I built for myself without their help, so I'll get no satisfaction from punishing a dying old man."
I really think learning to forgive her grandfather, even just to this minor degree, would do more for her personally in the long run than anything else.
Here, honey, time to meet a relative who will probably be dead in days. Why didn't we ever see him before he was dying, mom? Because he disowned me for escaping a husband who beat me!
That seems like a reasonable thing to drag a nine year old through.
Look back to the previous post where visiting an abusive, lovely relative tore that guy to pieces. Sure did a lot for that guy in the long run! She's not punishing him by not showing up, she's avoiding punishing herself. If there was literally any indication that he wanted to do more than just see her child, that might be different. Or if he didn't get that entire side of the family to gang up on her and push for this. Or even if it was just HER who he wanted to see, I MIGHT say to go for it just to make her dad happy. But this is dragging her kid into old family dirt. Don't do that to her kid.
What do people think are going to happen at these "I poo poo on you and never regretted it, now be sad I'm dying" moments anyway? Some heartwarming reunion full of love and apologies for past wrongs and forgiveness? No, it's an awkward, lovely, exhausting, uncomfortable, nerve-wracking few minutes of being reminded why you cut that person out of your life in the first place. It's one more stab in your heart before they die. Yeah, that'll do something for her personally in the long run. That is, it will erase any potential source of regret for severing in the first place.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:03
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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It wouldn't be the first time I've heard of a crazy lying to the cops to get the upper hand.
I can't imagine people going to the police except under the most dire circumstances so I guess I'll have to take you and Arb's word for it
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Jan 9, 2018 20:03
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- Khorne
- May 1, 2002
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Threatened, Locked In a Basement, Called 911 to Safely Escort Me Out
I mean at least he didn't say "whilst"
I'm not jealous at his paragraph structure and lack of clarity on why his girlfriend was crying.
It would be really hard for me to not trump up that 911 call - I don't think I'd have the grace to tell the police anything short of "a drunk lunatic is waving a gun around and threatening to shoot me, I think she's on drugs or something she's crazy."
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Jan 9, 2018 20:05
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Threatened, Locked In a Basement, Called 911 to Safely Escort Me Out
I mean at least he didn't say "whilst"
All the nexkbears talk makes me think he was abusive
Ps: if someone tells you get out of my house and you whine it’s late they can shoot you in most states
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Jan 9, 2018 20:06
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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Threatened, Locked In a Basement, Called 911 to Safely Escort Me Out
I mean at least he didn't say "whilst"
I tried to read this twice and I am still not sure what is going on here.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:07
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- Jeza
- Feb 13, 2011
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The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
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mayhaps you esteemed members of law enforcement would be so good as to escort me to the nearest waffle establishment?
*officers exchange nervous glances, finger holsters*
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Jan 9, 2018 20:07
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- Khorne
- May 1, 2002
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I tried to read this twice and I am still not sure what is going on here.
At girlfriend's house for some holiday. Her father wasn't around due to business and also didn't know the guy hit on anyone (mom hiding it).
The next day the father was going to come home (maybe?) and that friend was going to come over for a party and the girlfriend was uncomfortable or he found it inappropriate [unclear].
They talked about it with the mother.
The mom was pissed at being scrutinized or that he was trying to make a POWER PLAY and sulked upstairs.
The guy and his gf talked about it 'privately' after the mom left then they went to shoot pool in another room.
At some point the mom took his gf aside and then dragged her upstairs to the master bedroom.
At some point he went looking for his gf and found her there, crying in a ball (presumably because the mom said bad stuff to her, but this is not hinted at in the story)
A scene is made and he's threatened with a gun and stuff because the mom said he was verbally abusing the daughter
Mom is too cheap to pay for an Uber (a 3 hour uber ride doesn't sound practical anyway), and he sure as heck isn't paying as a college student, part-time writer from the 1800s, so he opts to be locked in the basement
His friends don't want to try and pick him up at the residence so he calls the police to escort him out so his friends can pick him up
My realistic take is you can't figure out what actually happened from the story. He probably said if the guy shows up he's telling the father, and the mom flipped out. That's my take at least. The narrator is really unreliable. Just look at how he wrote that story, trying to seem as passive as possible.
The tl;dr is gf's mom has a friend of questionable repute, gf's dad doesn't know, boyfriend got involved because friend was going to be at a party, gf's mom flipped out, and the rest is as awkward as the writing?
Khorne fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Jan 9, 2018
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Jan 9, 2018 20:12
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I tried to read this twice and I am still not sure what is going on here.
dude got into an argument with his girlfriend because his mom had a friend who made advances on his girlfriend (he doesn't specify what kind) and the mom invited the friend over. then his mom overheard him arguing with his girlfriend and tried to kick him out.
I had to read that post like three times and would like monetary compensation from the author.
girl pants fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Jan 9, 2018
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Jan 9, 2018 20:13
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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mayhaps you esteemed members of law enforcement would be so good as to escort me to the nearest waffle establishment?
*officers exchange nervous glances, finger holsters*
Forsooth! I have been penetrated! *gurgle*
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Jan 9, 2018 20:13
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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I tried to read this twice and I am still not sure what is going on here.
As far as I can tell he had a fight with his gf while visiting her fam (possibly over some dude who the mom was trying to pimp his daughter out to?), mom took the daughter out of the situation, tried to kick him out, instead they somehow came to a compromise where he'd be locked in the basement till the next day, he freaked out in the basement and called the cops, after some back and forth cops took him to a gas station so he could be picked up by a friend.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:15
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- PetraCore
- Jul 20, 2017
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Here, honey, time to meet a relative who will probably be dead in days. Why didn't we ever see him before he was dying, mom? Because he disowned me for escaping a husband who beat me!
That seems like a reasonable thing to drag a nine year old through.
Look back to the previous post where visiting an abusive, lovely relative tore that guy to pieces. Sure did a lot for that guy in the long run! She's not punishing him by not showing up, she's avoiding punishing herself. If there was literally any indication that he wanted to do more than just see her child, that might be different. Or if he didn't get that entire side of the family to gang up on her and push for this. Or even if it was just HER who he wanted to see, I MIGHT say to go for it just to make her dad happy. But this is dragging her kid into old family dirt. Don't do that to her kid.
What do people think are going to happen at these "I poo poo on you and never regretted it, now be sad I'm dying" moments anyway? Some heartwarming reunion full of love and apologies for past wrongs and forgiveness? No, it's an awkward, lovely, exhausting, uncomfortable, nerve-wracking few minutes of being reminded why you cut that person out of your life in the first place. It's one more stab in your heart before they die. Yeah, that'll do something for her personally in the long run. That is, it will erase any potential source of regret for severing in the first place.
I think it's fair to say that OP absolutely has the right to tell her family to gently caress off. Especially if they're framing it as 'you have to take the high ground' and not like, begging her forgiveness for what they did. Even if they did beg forgiveness it's up to her to decide, but it sounds like they aren't really that sorry and just want to make the old man happy.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:17
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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What do people think are going to happen at these "I poo poo on you and never regretted it, now be sad I'm dying" moments anyway? Some heartwarming reunion full of love and apologies for past wrongs and forgiveness? No, it's an awkward, lovely, exhausting, uncomfortable, nerve-wracking few minutes of being reminded why you cut that person out of your life in the first place. It's one more stab in your heart before they die. Yeah, that'll do something for her personally in the long run. That is, it will erase any potential source of regret for severing in the first place.
Its media people consume. They think it will go like media with heart to hearts and patching the bridge and a fond farewell, like it does in all those movies.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:17
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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mayhaps you esteemed members of law enforcement would be so good as to escort me to the nearest waffle establishment?
*officers exchange nervous glances, finger holsters*
*sotto voice* I think we should taze him out of principle.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:17
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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please do not try to 'mend bridges' with the people who made you homeless as a teenager because you left your abusive spouse. especially because they're the ones that want it.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:21
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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People dont chnage, and they certainly dont change when all of life kowtows to them including your stupid rear end to “be the bigger person”
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Jan 9, 2018 20:22
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Mom's middle aged friend tried to get with his girlfriend (or otherwise a 20 year old daughter of the mother's) some ambiguous time in the past. [also unclear if the guy hit on the mother?]
At girlfriend's house for some holiday. Her father wasn't around due to business and also didn't know the guy hit on anyone (mom hiding it).
The next day the father was going to come home (maybe?) and that friend was going to come over for a party and the girlfriend was uncomfortable or he found it inappropriate [unclear].
They talked about it with the mother.
The mom was pissed at being scrutinized or that he was trying to make a POWER PLAY and sulked upstairs.
The guy and his gf talked about it 'privately' after the mom left then they went to shoot pool in another room.
At some point the mom took his gf aside and then dragged her upstairs to the master bedroom.
At some point he went looking for his gf and found her there, crying in a ball (presumably because the mom said bad stuff to her, but this is not hinted at in the story)
A scene is made and he's threatened with a gun and stuff because the mom said he was verbally abusing the daughter
Mom is too cheap to pay for an Uber (a 3 hour uber ride doesn't sound practical anyway), and he sure as heck isn't paying as a college student, part-time writer from the 1800s, so he opts to be locked in the basement
His friends don't want to try and pick him up at the residence so he calls the police to escort him out so his friends can pick him up
My realistic take is you can't figure out what actually happened from the story. He probably said if the guy shows up he's telling the father, and the mom flipped out. That's my take at least. The narrator is really unreliable. Just look at how he wrote that story, trying to seem as passive as possible.
I don't think he actually saw a gun either, just hinted at it. There's basically two p easy possibilities:
Daughter has been abused, mom has control of the family and doesn't want the OP interfering. This would explain the weird creeper family friend and why she reacted so strongly without actually wanting to get the cops involved. Like if she were legit scared about the OP as a threat keeping him overnight in the basement as a literal bogeyman instead of just booting him out and saying "tough poo poo" doesn't really make any sense.
OP is a huge jackass, made an rear end out of himself with the mom there and continued the fight when she wasn't. Mom tries to protect family by grounding OP. This would explain why the OP's gf just went along with everything so easily, she thought he was being a dick too.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:23
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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I just wanna point out that the baby is 4 months old (2 months when the post was made) and literally could not remember the visit and isn't going to get any negative consequences as long as nobody like, hits her.
I think it's fair to say that OP absolutely has the right to tell her family to gently caress off. Especially if they're framing it as 'you have to take the high ground' and not like, begging her forgiveness for what they did. Even if they did beg forgiveness it's up to her to decide, but it sounds like they aren't really that sorry and just want to make the old man happy.
Oh, I catastrophically mixed some numbers around. Infant, yeah, if she does want to do it JUST to make her dad happy, that wouldn't be a problem. But not for any reason more than that.
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Jan 9, 2018 20:29
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- Lemming
- Apr 21, 2008
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People dont chnage, and they certainly dont change when all of life kowtows to them including your stupid rear end to “be the bigger person”
Bring a doll instead, pretend to hand it to the dying grandpa, then spike it
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Jan 9, 2018 20:33
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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when told they need to ask for forgiveness, the Christian will instinctively say they have already prayed for forgiveness
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Jan 9, 2018 20:33
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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The narrator is really unreliable.
That was my main takeaway. Also a giant dildo. Likely verbally abusive.
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Jan 9, 2018 21:06
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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My [24 M] dad [55 M] called my boss [60s M] to make sure I take my medicine.
quote:
So, I'm really very embarrassed at the moment, and if anyone has any advice on what to do in this situation, I very much appreciate it.
I'm on my very first business trip at a relatively new job, accompanying my boss and several co-workers to a meeting out-of-state. Now, I'm asthmatic, and the air quality in plane cabins can indeed set me off; this is the first air trip I've taken that wasn't, like, a family vacation.
To that end, I'm being very vigilant about making sure I have my rescue inhaler and taking my daily preventative regimen. Nevertheless, my boss just informed me that my father called him yesterday, using the online company directory, and asked him to make sure I was medicating on the trip.
He wasn't upset or angry. Just sort of amused. But this is becoming a staff joke, and one co-worker keeps rather genuinely checking in on "how I'm breathing." So, now, to half my team, I'm the butt of a joke; to the other half, I'm the "kid" in need of a babysitter.
How do I navigate this with my father and tell him this was absolutely not okay and to never do something like this again? And is there a way to regain some respect at the office?
tl;dr: My father called my boss to ensure I would take my medicine on a work trip. I'm now the staff joke or the "kid" in need of babysitting. What to do?
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Jan 9, 2018 21:10
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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My [24 M] dad [55 M] called my boss [60s M] to make sure I take my medicine.
HA HA
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Jan 9, 2018 21:13
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- Jeza
- Feb 13, 2011
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The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
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On one hand, that's pretty adorable. On the other, lmao what's up wheezy??
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Jan 9, 2018 21:14
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- Bored
- Jul 26, 2007
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Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
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Threatened, Locked In a Basement, Called 911 to Safely Escort Me Out
I mean at least he didn't say "whilst"
quote: After he arrived, the mother petitioned him for ideas on how to facilitate my departure.
Jfc I hate this guy.
[quote="maskenfreiheit" post="480089100"]
All the nexkbears talk makes me think he was abusive
Ps: if someone tells you get out of my house and you whine it’s late they can shoot you in most states
[/[quote="maskenfreiheit" post="480089100"]
Yeah. Sounds like the girl has a family of overbearing assholes which caused her to find a partner who is also an overbearing rear end in a top hat. You know this fucker "logics" her into submission any time they have a disagreement.
Also her mom sounds like a piece of poo poo. I don't care if the girl was over 18 when skeevy guy propositioned her. It's still gross that a guy who knew her as a child would preposition her. He should never be invited back to the house again.
Bored fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jan 9, 2018
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Jan 9, 2018 21:36
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I want to believe that reddit would tell him he writes like a huge fuckhead, but I know in my heart a good chunk of them are admiring his "style" 
I found his post and the top comment is calling him a douchebag.
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Jan 9, 2018 21:44
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
-
To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
quote:
My friend, Leslie, and I have known each other for about 19 years now and I really don't know what I'd do without her. She's one of the most important people to me, and I hate that I did something to accidentally hurt her.
Recently our parents for whatever reason have been continuously trying to get the two of us together. For instance, my mother made the comment that she thinks I need to be looking for a girlfriend and that Leslie would make for a great daughter in law. Additionally, her father and I were at the country club golfing together (something we do once or twice a month) and he told me that he wouldn't mind Leslie settling down with a nice guy and that I had his permission to ask her out if I wanted to. Also, every year Leslie usually comes with us during our Christmas break skiing trip. Usually, either all 3 of us get separate rooms (my sister [24F], Leslie, and I), or my sister and I will share a room and Leslie gets a separate room. This year my sister broke her leg and didn't want to come and Leslie and I had to share a room because of a "scheduling mistake".
My parents and Leslie's parents are good friends and frequently go on dinner dates together and do other things like wine tasting, so I strongly suspect that they're colluding with each other. I don't know why though.
Leslie and I were at my house playing Madden together when I brought up the topic. I asked if she noticed that our parents keep trying to get the two of us together, and she agreed. I said it was really annoying how they kept trying even though things aren't like that between us. She said that they meant well, and only wanted the best for us. I said I guess so, but just wish they understood that things aren't really like that between us. She asked what I meant, and I told her that I don't think either of us wanted anything like that. She said maybe, but asked if I really thought it was that bad. I said that it might be pretty weird, especially after all this time.
After that, she started to get upset. She told me that I can be so oblivious sometimes, and said that she can't believe I'm so disgusted with even the idea of the two of us being together. I told her that isn't what I meant, and she said that she knew what I meant. Then she started crying and stormed out of my house.
This has absolutely left me dumbfounded and I'm not sure where I went wrong here. I obviously did something wrong, but I'm not sure what.
I've already texted her sorry for hurting her feelings and asked if the two of us could maybe go get a coffee together and talk. She replied sure and apologized for getting so mad at me.
What did I do wrong, and why did she get so upset? More importantly, what can I do to fix it?
tl;dr: Accidentally made a hurtful comment towards my friend and I want to make up for it.
[Update] I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
quote:
Original Post
So the two of us did ending meeting for coffee and it went really well.
I was really concerned because Leslie has never ever been like this. We've never had any fights or arguments or anything like that besides for minor playful teasing. I thought about it, and her liking me would really explain a lot of her behavior recently.
I was really conflicted about what I was going to say to her. I was super conflicted about potentially asking her out because while she is absolutely gorgeous and I used to like her for a short duration during high school, I really value the friendship we have. I decided to just flip a coin and let that decide for me, but in the air I realized I really wanted it to land on heads (the side which would have made me ask her out).
So, when we met up for coffee I immediately apologized to her and told her that I didn't mean to imply that she was undesirable or ugly, and that any guy would be lucky to have her as a partner. She told me that it was fine, and that it was mostly her fault for acting so immature. She said that she has known me for a long time, and knows that I act like this, so she was just going to be straight up with me. She then told me that she has liked me for a really long time now, but I ignored every signal she sent and she lashed out at me because she was getting really frustrated. She said that she was sorry for doing that, and she knows that its much easier to just be straightforward with me. She then asked me if I would consider dating her, and said that its no big deal if I didn't feel the same way. I told her that I would love to date her, so the two of us are together now.
Its going to be a massive adjustment to shifting to seeing her romantically. Its something which I've avoided until now, but I guess it has the potential to be pretty fun.
Anyways, the reason our parents were egging us on so much was because of my sister. Leslie confessed that she had feelings for me to my sister whose been trying to act sly and get us together. She is the one who arranged all that stuff with our parents. She really can be nosy sometimes, but this once I'm sort of grateful that she did it.
tl;dr: It turns out she really did like me, and now the two of us are dating.
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Jan 9, 2018 21:52
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- Clark Nova
- Jul 18, 2004
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He *is* a weenie and a douchebag, but it’s impossible to tell how big of a weenie he is because of how unintelligible and obfuscated his dumbass faux-Sherlock bullshit is. I say we assume the worst:
He browbeat his girlfriend over her mother having an affair (or something).
The mother punked his dumb rear end with a very lazy and half-assed attempt at faking a gun.
He groveled in the basement for three hours, terrified of a middle aged woman with a fake gun, then had the cops bust him out.
He tried to beg the cops to drive him to Waffle House and they wouldn’t.
Did I miss anything?
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Jan 9, 2018 22:01
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- Yawgmoth
- Sep 10, 2003
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This post is cursed!
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I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
[Update] I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
But I guess that's a happy ending there so whatever.
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Jan 9, 2018 22:10
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
[Update] I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
I was gonna say how cute it is that these teenagers finally managed to get together and then I noticed the ages and I'm furious.
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Jan 9, 2018 22:12
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- Rubellavator
- Aug 16, 2007
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I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
[Update] I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
That's some high level obliviousness.
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Jan 9, 2018 22:12
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- Harrow
- Jun 30, 2012
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I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
[Update] I [23M] accidentally hurt my friend's [23F] feelings. Where did I go wrong, and how do I make it up to her?
Kinda feel like it shoulda been obvious after that first one.
I wonder if he said the dumb poo poo in the first post so that it didn't seem like he was into her in case it made her uncomfortable or something and just laid it on way too hard.
Also lol that they're in their loving 20s
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Jan 9, 2018 22:19
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 08:32
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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My fiance gets upset when i dont wake him up with a blowjob (self.relationship_advice)
quote:
My fiance with whom i live and i used to live together for 4 months, we were getting married in 2016 but i cancel the wedding one week before because i wasnt ready and we were having so many issues. Now we are back together and living together, he told me i have to give him head everyday to wake him up, if i dont do it he will get so upset at me, wont kiss me good morning, be sarcastic and tell me i cant do this relationship because i wont give him a blowjob every morning as per his requeste. I told him im human and i can be tired one morning, that it can happen and he got worse, he said he needs me to give him head daily to wake him up or we just cant be together. I really love him, he is caring besides this, but this is hurting me a lot. What should i do?
EDIT: he is into BDSM and told me that he likes the D/s all the time not only in bed which means he orders me what to do, i cannot ask him to go down on me or he gets upset, he does touch me and give me head but when he decided it.
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Jan 9, 2018 22:27
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Jan 9, 2018 19:58
