/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Woah drawing a wheelchair is beyond my skill level.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 06:31

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# ? May 25, 2024 05:40

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Haifisch posted:

My [28/M] fianc�e [31/F] and I met through an affair. How to handle discussing this with people?

Surprised this dude's social circle knows so much about what happened. I guess maybe his ex wife aired it all? I would think "we connected in a support group then got together after we separated" would be sufficient for most people unless he's just dumpin everything on the table. It's mostly true too.

As far as the affair itself I'd say ideally no matter how garbo the marriage is you should go through with actually divorcing first, but there are exceptional cases where I wouldn't really judge someone for finding support outside of their marriage that helped em get there.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 06:36

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Behold, as I put a downer upon your day:

I [15M] was put into custody with my moms friend [38F] I learned at school that apparently my parents [44F&46M] could come and visit but I haven't seen them in 5 years.

quote:

u/lillmaybefuckup
I was taken away by CPS from my parents when I was 10 years old. I was placed with Katie. I like Katie. She's been very good to me. She's cool, but has a tendency to be strict when it comes to bringing friends here when she's not here. I'll keep this short because I need to get on Skype soon with my friend, Leah for school. I was taken away and placed with Katie. I've been with her for 5 years now. I learned at school that apparently parents can come and visit you. I haven't seen my parents in 5 years. I'm wondering how to ask Katie why. I don't hate Katie or anything. I would never hate Katie. I just don't understand why.

tl;dr: How do I bring it up and ask why my parents haven't come to come visit?

# ? Jan 25, 2018 11:04

femcastra: Apr 25, 2008; If you want him,
come and knit him!

Milotic posted:

Behold, as I put a downer upon your day:

I [15M] was put into custody with my moms friend [38F] I learned at school that apparently my parents [44F&46M] could come and visit but I haven't seen them in 5 years.

That poor kid.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 11:23

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

LadyPictureShow posted:

E: �sup BPD ex crew!

Does anyone on here not have a BPD ex? (I've got two, neither very long relationships though, plus one bipolar)

# ? Jan 25, 2018 11:46

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

La Brea Carpet posted:

Contracual requirment to maintain promiscuity in a Marrige

This rear end in a top hat couldn't even be bothered to look up 'promiscuous' in a dictionary.

Hint: you're asking for a contractual obligation that your wife sleep with lots of people, that's what promiscuous means.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 11:55

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My [24f] BF [25m] is obsessed with a fictional character, I can't deal any more

quote:

I hate myself right now. I technically started this because I invited him to join me when I started watching a TV series a few weeks ago.

After a couple episodes he began commenting on how attractive the character was (she is dressed somewhat revealingly throughout the series) a few more after that and the train to Crazytown had left the station.

Since then, EVERYTHING revolves around this character. Here's some examples of what he's like now:

Blown off work pretending to be sick, so he can sit at home rewatching scene's she's in

Downloaded every single episode of the show.

Finds ways to bring her up in conversation whatever we are talking about, I mention something someone did and he'll say "Hehehe that sounds like Character!"

He points out insignifigant things and connects them to her, like if a woman has hair like hers

Looked up Cosplay for me to wear even though I'm not interested in cosplaying.

More specifically, wants me to dress in it and role-play her in bed with him, I told him NO, he got upset. He's begged me 3 times to do this.

Stays up til sunrise some nights on the internet watching clips of her scenes or browsing fan art and rule34 photomanips people made, then oversleeps and misses work (Side note, it's a very small fandom so there's not a lot of content out there, so he's downloaded and saved it ALL. I saw it organized in folders on his desktop that I use sometimes. Also the background on that and his phone are images of her, of course.)

Related, I get to hear regular complaints about how there isn't enough pictures and fanfiction involving her

Lamented that there's no VR porn of this character (??? I guess there is VR porn of OTHER characters?)

She's the "sexiest Goddess" in his words. What the gently caress, who says that to their GF?? He's told me in detail the things he wants her to do to him sexually......

loving called me by her name in bed, twice. Since this started we've gone from sex a few times a week, to once at the most and he won't admit to what I suspect is frequent masturbating in the bathroom

One night I woke up from him moving around and making noises in his sleep. Then he woke up and got out of bed. I asked if he was okay and he said he'd had a wet dream about her.

All of this has killed my enjoyment in the show and now I can't finish it. I quit watching because everytime we watched became just him moaning everytime she was on screen over how hot she is, he didn't care about anything else. He just kept watching and finished the show without me.

Most recently he showed me his project of editing all the scenes she's in through out the ENTIRE series, all seasons, into one complete montage. I'm sorry but that's crazy-territory, right? That is hours and hours of content and it's as if nothing makes him happier then rewatching it over and over again, hyper focused on this one person. Once he has that montage complete I don't even want to think how much time he will waste watching it.
I AM SO SICK OF HIS OBSESSION. I WISH I'D NEVER TOLD HIM ABOUT THIS SHOW. It's not even like he's interested in the actress or her other work which I could maybe get, celeb crushes happen. No he's interested in a FICTIONAL character. This woman doesn't even exist! It makes no sense!

Anyway it's been nearly two months now. I've told him soooo many times how it makes me feel lovely like he's dump me in a heartbeat for this character if she was real. I don't want to hear how hot someone else is all the time. I don't wanna feel like I got to act as someone else for him to be attracted to me.

I feel trapped in some kind of timeloop where we keep having the same stupid conversations either him obsessing about her to me or me getting annoyed. No matter how many times we have this argument it goes the same way: he apologizes in what sounds like a sincere way, then within a day or two he keeps making these comments.

I've also told him my worry about him skipping work and his other behavior I listed like not sleeping. I grew up with a deadbeat alcoholic father, and I remember him losing job after job because he would skip work to get drunk or was too hungover to go in. My older brother is addicted to video gaming and does the same thing. My point to my boyfriend was that his obsession is getting to the "will gently caress up his life unless he gets control soon" level. He said I was being a drama queen and liking a character is nothing like being an alcoholic.

Nothing will get through to him.

We never do anything together anymore because of this, all he wants to do is be on the computer lost in this fantasyworld. We've been together for 3 years and moved in together recently. How can you live with your partner but feel like you barely ever spend any time with them.

Please help me to understand this?? Has anyone done this same thing or known someone who did? What helped them stop it? I am so over it and desperate for any suggestion. I desperately don't want to break up over something as ridiculous as a fictional character. The irrational part of my brain says I'm losing him to her. I wish he would just....care even a little how this is making me feel.

PS, sorry this turned into such a long emotional rant, I'm too embarassed to talk to anyone I know for advice.

tl;dr. My BF is completely obsessed with one of the main characters in a show I introduced him to. It's like there's nothing he thinks about any more except her. He's bailing on work, sleep, sex, anything together with me to do things online related to this character. Does not see any problem. Help.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:22

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Is that a Steven Universe? How can his Gf compare to that, even.

But I'm pretty sure the fandom is massive and there are exabytes of porn, so it's probably made up

Edit, so she said it's not from a cartoon and she watches it on amazon prime UK and its on the syfy channel in the US. Any guesses?

Can't be Orville or STD

Jack-Off Lantern fucked around with this message at 12:41 on Jan 25, 2018

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:27

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

coolusername posted:

Forget bpd, waifu are the new hip.

After 7 abysmal breakups, years of depression & heartache, I[M/35] finally got my newfound hope in 2D pixelated characters. Feeling torn apart right now.

No one teach this person about anime.

of course it's pathetic, but it still breaks me heart.
:therapy:

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:33

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

feedmegin posted:

Does anyone on here not have a BPD ex? (I've got two, neither very long relationships though, plus one bipolar)

I mean, this is the thread where we rubberneck at dumpster fire relationships and sometimes go �huh, I had an ex exactly like that�.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:33

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

Palpek posted:

My [24f] BF [25m] is obsessed with a fictional character, I can't deal any more

why do these fuckers never tell us which character

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:36

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Brother Entropy posted:

why do these fuckers never tell us which character

She explained that given how obsessively he googles the character/show every single day he would find the reddit thread this way.

I mean, she should dump him anyway and post the loving name but hey.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:43

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Brother Entropy posted:

why do these fuckers never tell us which character

because they know that the character in question is inferior to my favorite character and they would lose the ensuing discussion.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:44

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Hints she gave: it's a live action show, they were watching it streaming from Amazon Prime, it's scifi-fantasy, she's not sure but she thinks it's from Syfy Channel, she'd be surprised if anybody guessed because it's not that high profile, it's the actress's only role in her career so far.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:49

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Palpek posted:

Hints she gave: it's a live action show, they were watching it streaming from Amazon Prime, it's scifi-fantasy, she's not sure but she thinks it's from Syfy Channel, she'd be surprised if anybody guessed because it's not that high profile, it's the actress's only role in her career so far.

Has the Syfy Channel ever made anything decent?

It may just be my country but whenever I switched to that it's always been garbage

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:51

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

It's a really really bad idea but hell, I hope she does this for the sake of our entertainment:

I [25F] have found out my fianc� [25M] has been cheating on me 4 days before our destination wedding. Is this a bad way of exposing him?

quote:

Hello,

I had a hunch a while back that he was cheating on me. The main reason was that I found a rip of a condom wrapper in our bed. I work 9-5 and he works full time from home. I confronted him and he said he had no idea how that got there, and that our dog probably got it from our roommate�s trash and brought it up on the bed. I bought it, because our small dog does go through the bathroom trash sometimes and we find a random q-tip or tissue here and there.

But you know that gut feeling? Like something is off? Well, I had that. But I pushed it aside because I�ve been with this person for 3 years and lived together since 4 months after we met.

Fast forward to tonight, a close male friend tells me that my guy is cheating on me. Well, I laughed it off because this male friend has had a bit of a crush on me for a while, and we were even thinking of dating before I met my fianc�. The timing just didn�t work out. He moved, I met my fianc�, he moved back, etc. but we always stayed super close friends. He�s even coming to my wedding.

He then sends me some photos of my fianc�, making out with a girl (that we�re both friends with) in a bar. I was sent 4 photos, and it was definitely full make-out, with his hands squeezing her rear end in one of them. I�m 100% it�s him in the photos, even with the lovely lighting iPhone pics. And he was �at his parents� this weekend so the timeline fits.

My friend told me that he saw them this past Friday night, and snapped the pics. He didn�t tell me right away because he didn�t know what to do. He didn�t want to be blamed, and he didn�t want to hurt me but he said he had to tell me because he didn�t want to see me go through with it.

Now, I have less than a week before I�m suppose to be in Hawaii with 140 guests. We�ve had this planned for over a year, and there�s no way that we�re getting any money back from the vendors, flights, or anything. We have reserved and paid in full for everything. Our flight is Friday morning, and my wedding is Sunday. We already have a couple guest who have arrived at the hotel and are staying for the week.

This is when I got this idea. It might sound mean and vengeful, but I�m angry. I�m super pissed and I don�t care. I was thinking of continuing on like everything is fine. I was going to have a projector set up at the hall during the ceremony, and while everyone is there I stroll down the isle and show the photos. I�m pissed that he has been playing me for over half a year, and I�m pissed it�s with someone we mutually hang out with. She�s even coming to our wedding.

I 100% don�t want to talk it out with him. I don�t want to work through it or forgive him, I want the dog and I want him out of my life. I�m so sick and tired of him treating me like trash for a while now, and me sticking around because we were suppose to start a life together. I know this will cause a lot of family drama, and I don�t really care. I think he deserves it, and I think she deserves to be there as well.

[TL;DR:] my fianc� has been cheating on me, and I have photo proof. Thinking about exposing him in front of our guests at our destination wedding.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 12:56

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Palpek posted:

It's a really really bad idea but hell, I hope she does this for the sake of our entertainment:

I [25F] have found out my fianc� [25M] has been cheating on me 4 days before our destination wedding. Is this a bad way of exposing him?

Hahahaha! I hope she does this and runs her garbage rear end in a top hat dude's life! I can taste the tears! :bisonyes:

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:02

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Another sitcom plot. These people all watch too much TV

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:03

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Isn't Crazytown that show with the "We are number one" meme? And isn't the girl in that like twelve?

Also I'm pretty sure him finding the thread would be a net positive. Dude's getting dumped either way, and the more unambiguously he's told he's right hosed up, the sooner he can get therapy or retire to a life of solitary masturbation.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:03

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Isn't Crazytown that show with the "We are number one" meme? And isn't the girl in that like twelve?

Also I'm pretty sure him finding the thread would be a net positive. Dude's getting dumped either way, and the more unambiguously he's told he's right hosed up, the sooner he can get therapy or retire to a life of solitary masturbation.

you're thinking of lazytown

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:06

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Isn't Crazytown that show with the "We are number one" meme? And isn't the girl in that like twelve?

Also I'm pretty sure him finding the thread would be a net positive. Dude's getting dumped either way, and the more unambiguously he's told he's right hosed up, the sooner he can get therapy or retire to a life of solitary masturbation.

by crazytown she means "town of crazies" instead of the show.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:06

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Is that a Steven Universe? How can his Gf compare to that, even.

But I'm pretty sure the fandom is massive and there are exabytes of porn, so it's probably made up

Edit, so she said it's not from a cartoon and she watches it on amazon prime UK and its on the syfy channel in the US. Any guesses?

Can't be Orville or STD

I�d go with Addy from Z Nation. If she�s talking about editing a montage together from several seasons and a most likely small fandom, it might fit the bill.

Palpek posted:

It's a really really bad idea but hell, I hope she does this for the sake of our entertainment:

I [25F] have found out my fianc� [25M] has been cheating on me 4 days before our destination wedding. Is this a bad way of exposing him?

This story/her plan sounds completely STDH/and then everyone stood up and clapped� territory but hey, if everyone is already coming to Hawaii and can�t refund any of the money they put down, why not pull a General Sherman on the situation, then let all the guests eat the planned dinner and cake and gossip about that poo poo?

It makes me think of one of the the Toby McGuire Spider-Man movies. Mary Jane leaves her fianc�e at the altar, and as soon as he realizes, J. Jonah Jameson leans over to his wife

�Call Sylvia.�
�The caterer?!�
�Tell her not to open the caviar.�

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 13:25 on Jan 25, 2018

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:07

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Palpek posted:

Hints she gave: it's a live action show, they were watching it streaming from Amazon Prime, it's scifi-fantasy, she's not sure but she thinks it's from Syfy Channel, she'd be surprised if anybody guessed because it's not that high profile, it's the actress's only role in her career so far.

im not gonna bother looking up individual actresses career on imdb so im gonna guess its the magicians

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:07

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Crazytown sounds like a show I'd watch. Or a good name for this thread. Or E/N.

I was expecting anime but somehow it's even crazier when it's a live action character. Though I can only wonder what Steven Universe character could incite such a fixation. ...probably Pearl. Or Peridot, for a certain particularly insufferable demographic.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:51

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

datajugend posted:

im not gonna bother looking up individual actresses career on imdb so im gonna guess its the magicians

I was just scrolling down to say it was probably The Magicians. I don't know if it's on Prime in the UK, but it is on Syfy and the main women are all just stunning. It's their first big gigs, too.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:52

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

feedmegin posted:

Does anyone on here not have a BPD ex? (I've got two, neither very long relationships though, plus one bipolar)

It�s also the kind of thing that really, really stands out in your memory because it�s a special kind of living hell. Whenever I come across one of those BPD stories in here I still cringe.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:54

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Also, the Magicians is a weird sexy show, so you guys are right; it�s probably a Magicians character.

I got flak from friends that like it because I called it �that awful show with the bisexual werewolf threeways�. Dunno if that exact scenario played out, but it encompasses the gist of the couple eps I caught.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

It�s also the kind of thing that really, really stands out in your memory because it�s a special kind of living hell. Whenever I come across one of those BPD stories in here I still cringe.

This. I kind of wish this thread was around a decade ago so you all could have dunked on me and helped me see the light sooner and gotten the gently caress outta there.

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Jan 25, 2018

# ? Jan 25, 2018 13:58

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Haifisch posted:

I [41 M] found out my daughter [18 F] draws cartoon erotica online for money. She wants to make a career of it. I am very very uncomfortable with it.

I mean poo poo, as long as she's not a camgirl I'd let her do whatever. People pay bank for hosed up furry porn online.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 14:24

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Mentioning the Syfy channel makes me think it�s one blue chick or the other from Farscape, but that poo poo is old (as am I)

# ? Jan 25, 2018 14:25

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Vargatron posted:

I mean poo poo, as long as she's not a camgirl I'd let her do whatever. People pay bank for hosed up furry porn online.

When I heard about the guy that earns over 30k a month for writing hosed up furry porn I realized that I really hosed up by not writing more sonic fanfics when I was younger.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 14:30

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Palpek posted:

Hints she gave: it's a live action show, they were watching it streaming from Amazon Prime, it's scifi-fantasy, she's not sure but she thinks it's from Syfy Channel, she'd be surprised if anybody guessed because it's not that high profile, it's the actress's only role in her career so far.

My money is on Naomi from The Expanse.

Edit: or Bobby!
Double Edit: nah, there's only two seasons, and she says, "All Seasons" so that probably means 3 or more.

blarzgh fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Jan 25, 2018

# ? Jan 25, 2018 14:43

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Milotic posted:

Behold, as I put a downer upon your day:

I [15M] was put into custody with my moms friend [38F] I learned at school that apparently my parents [44F&46M] could come and visit but I haven't seen them in 5 years.

How do you get put in the custody of a friend of your mother?

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:09

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Halser posted:

When I heard about the guy that earns over 30k a month for writing hosed up furry porn I realized that I really hosed up by not writing more sonic fanfics when I was younger.

I mean even "legitimate" artists do erotic art because people pay for that poo poo. poo poo if I could draw I'd probably do porn for $$$.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:13

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Gorilla Salad posted:

How do you get put in the custody of a friend of your mother?

Nobody else wants the gig.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:15

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Gorilla Salad posted:

How do you get put in the custody of a friend of your mother?

Why wouldn't he? It's someone he already knew and who presumably had shown interest in adopting him when it turned out his own parents were unfit for the job. If he needed to be hidden or protected from his parents he wouldn't be disappointed that they never visit.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:17

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

It's just that I can't see why a court would give him to a friend of the parents if the parents are going to have nothing to do with him for half a decade.

Or it's like blarzgh said and no one else wanted him.

She has to be the nicest, most generous person ever, if so.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:27

kru: Oct 5, 2003

/r/relationships: what you posted was, at best, a joke

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:32

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

tater_salad posted:

one time I touched the poop and got yelled at by saying "That guys a dick you should stop dating him" and my comment got removed.

"Please don't use the word/phrase dick in /r/relationships. We do not allow gendered or ableist terminology as it contributes to an atmosphere of incivility. Please repost this with edited language."

Is that also their rationale for outlawing 'manchild'?

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:34

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

tactlessbastard posted:

Is that also their rationale for outlawing 'manchild'?

Pretty much. It�s double reverse sexism :downs:

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:36

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# ? May 25, 2024 05:40

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

. I confronted him and he said he had no idea how that got there, and that our dog probably got it from our roommate’s trash and brought it up on the bed.

Dude, you gotta do better than that. No one is going to believe your dog is having an affair.

tactlessbastard fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Jan 25, 2018

# ? Jan 25, 2018 15:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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