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Bacontotem posted:Melkor's ultimate execution was bad but the idea of weaving your evil into all creation is evil brilliance. Minus elves everything on the arda dimension has his taint. Like a moldy patch of wall in a fine house that you can never get rid of and gets you sick occasionally. Well, yes, reality itself is now one of my many phylacteries, but I didn't get God involved in spanking me down now, did I? Bacontotem posted:He tried to get in a rap battle with Illuvatar who is lazy but he can out sing anyone. What if, now, hear me out, what if Illuvatar got into a rap battle with Tom Bombadil?
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Feb 13, 2018 03:59
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:What if, now, hear me out, what if Illuvatar got into a rap battle with Tom Bombadil? Will Goldberry twerk it?
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Feb 13, 2018 04:12
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Isnt that just a goro  pretty good servants but a little too free thinking for my taste.
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Feb 13, 2018 04:29
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Well, yes, reality itself is now one of my many phylacteries, but I didn't get God involved in spanking me down now, did I? tom wouldn't battle he'd just gently caress up illuvatar's rhythm while dancing a jig all in playful fun because he only cares about his forest
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Feb 13, 2018 05:00
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DerekSmartymans posted:Will Goldberry twerk it? This is the question of our time.
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Feb 13, 2018 06:19
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DerekSmartymans posted:Will Goldberry twerk it? If one can twerk to Tom Bom, Merry Tom, Tombombadillo's phat beats, then... yes. basic hitler posted:tom wouldn't battle he'd just gently caress up illuvatar's rhythm while dancing a jig all in playful fun because he only cares about his forest Yes that's dirty pool but seeing them battle would a)bring a tear to my eye if it were still capable of such things and b)provide an excellent window for mischief and tomfoolery. Nothing too bad, nothing revealing one's true nature, of course.
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Feb 13, 2018 06:47
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Tom bombadil is a failed wizard I think. I suspect old man willow and the old forrest, and before all those forrests, were intended as a living phylactery, and old man willow is the actual remnant of Tom, what's left is him reasonably pure, powerful, and undying, unaware. Something went wrong, he hosed up the spell probably.
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Feb 13, 2018 06:55
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Dude, everyone knows Tom's just Eru having a bad cosmic trip.
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Feb 13, 2018 07:29
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fruit on the bottom posted:P.S. I might be a little out of order on things. It's hard to put everything in the right spot right now. Oh, now I get it. That's actually pretty funny when you put it all togethe— —Ok. We're just about ready to start this thing up. About ten minutes from now we should be looking at an effectively infinite source of energy. Just need to do a few last minute che— —tarting to feel a bit better. The portal's coming back in to focus too, so... home? I guess. To be perfectly honest, I'm still not totally sure what order everything goes in but I can at least separate me from me from me from me from me from me from m— —ooks like a couple of things were changed. Nothing important, from the looks of it. Looks like some of the obsidian was swapped out for some malachite. Not ideal, but easier to get ahold of this time of year, I suppose. Effect should be negligible. I want to double check those bearings though, I'm not sure they're entirel— —reaking out. Not sure who. Can see self...selves? I? Us? All paths. Every path. Go left. Go right. Make choice, but see every result. We... *I* can see a million million permutations of it all. *I*... see ourselves make every choice, and every outcome. But... sometimes the outcome happens first? It's all happening out of order. After comes before, before comes after. I am stronger though. We are stronger? Not sure by how much, but much. Also a clearer picture of what I expelled. I thin— —nd here we go! Oh that's a beautiful beam of energy. Perfectly within my predictions too! You always worry about the decimals but sometimes you just get lu... hold that thought for a second. Where's that grinding noise coming from? Uh-oh. Pretty sure *that's* not suppose to happ— —ell that was gross. Whatever that thing was it just scampered off into the void. Still black and featureless of face, but the spikes at least explain why it hurt so much coming up. Wait a minute, i-is that me out there? Ah, that must be another version of me. Not surprising in a place like this. Not big on the fedora though. Ah, there's more. Hmmm.... that must be me as a Warlock (trying a bit hard imo), me as a "Good" wizard? (I look sexy in white.) And me as... oh dear. Remind me to never visit the anime dimension. Oh my, there certainly are a lot of you. Hold on, don't come any closer! What are you do— —o let's recap. The spell had some major oversights in the formula, the elves cut some major corners, and I *did* gently caress up the decimal so that the raw magic blasting into our own dimension was off by about three orders of magnitude? Lovely. At least once everyone gets the Spellplague it won't be possible for this day to get any wor— —re's what I know so far: Judging by the spatial distortions, I appear to be *between* the portals somehow. I suppose I fell in? It closed behind me so I guess I was at least able to stop the reaction. So I'm either in some non-existing pocket, or in some kind of beyond realm. Which is pretty cool, I suppose. Time doesn't seem to flow normally here. I arrived minutes ago, but there's no way of knowing how it corresponds in relation. Still, at least I have a chance to study the <hurk> I guess breaking reality in a localized sphere of the universe doesn't play well with digestion. Just need to take a breath and <vomit> What is this? It's all black and... oh my gods! It's movi— —ll I have to do then is go into the collider and counterspell the magic at the exact moment it warps around the gem. Shouldn't be too hard. Not sure what will happen to me when I do but if I don't then the world might be destroyed! And there's a lot of work I haven't backed up yet. fruit on the bottom posted:P.S. I might be a little out of order on things. It's hard to put everything in the right spot right now. Strange. I don't remember writing that. christmas boots fucked around with this message at 09:01 on Feb 13, 2018 |
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Feb 13, 2018 08:54
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You wrote <baaaarf>?
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Feb 13, 2018 08:58
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basic hitler posted:You wrote <baaaarf>? What? Where?
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Feb 13, 2018 09:01
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I know it's late in the thread, but I think I might have animated my own skeleton. I was playing around with the darker powers (YEAH YEAH I KNOW) and I just touched myself (not like THAT). Anyway, now I can't stop ham boning and I have a date in 6 hours. Please advise?
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Feb 13, 2018 14:03
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You didn't animate your own skeleton. That's more of possession type magic. You just cast Otto's Irresistible Hambone on yourself. e: It should wear off right around the start of your date. Have your date pick you up and this will be a charming and whimsical start to your evening.
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Feb 13, 2018 22:36
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Vernii posted:I prefer a floating tower with no external doors myself. I Do invisibility spells work on radar? I was half thinking if I floated a giant tower anywhere the air force would shoot it down thinking it was some sort of alien mothership.
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Feb 13, 2018 23:10
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Blazing Ownager posted:Do invisibility spells work on radar? A buddy of mine, Zulggex, transforms himself into flocks of geese because he says that radar and thermal whatchacallems can detect invisible people. He is way into avispex and spends a lot of time rooting around in birds' guts and talking to the empty air so he might also not be the most reliable guy.
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Feb 13, 2018 23:14
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Blazing Ownager posted:Do invisibility spells work on radar? I don't think they do, but that scenario is also why you should have permanent walls of force around your tower, or imbue the stonework/walls with a self-regenerating capacity. I recommend using the imprisoned souls of dead adventurers as a power source for either, less for their energy potential and more to make an example.
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Feb 13, 2018 23:20
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fruit on the bottom posted:Oh, now I get it. That's actually pretty funny when you put it all togethe— 
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Feb 14, 2018 01:28
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Yeah, there’s no high like a portal high. Also I’m immortal now and can perceive all possible timelines at once. My dick doesn’t work anymore though, so I’ve been trying to find a way to undo it
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Feb 14, 2018 01:43
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lol
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Feb 14, 2018 02:27
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phasmid posted:A buddy of mine, Zulggex, transforms himself into flocks of geese because he says that radar and thermal whatchacallems can detect invisible people. He is way into avispex and spends a lot of time rooting around in birds' guts and talking to the empty air so he might also not be the most reliable guy. The last avispex I knew ended up raising a harpy harem so I think they're just categorically weird fuckers
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Feb 14, 2018 02:31
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I used to date a sorceress who was into that. One time she wanted to chew up my dinner and spit it into my mouth so I banished her to another plane and that was that.
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Feb 14, 2018 02:33
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Blazing Ownager posted:Do invisibility spells work on radar? You'll need another spell for radar. And one for IR. It's dumb, but it's just how things work. However, (if you've got a servant to do minor some steering,) I'm gonna say that if you're fairly near to a city, then your invisible floating tower's base only needs to be higher than a standard extension ladder (+ a margin of error). Or you could pull a trick with a floating tower that looks like it's part of a standard building until the proper time comes.
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Feb 14, 2018 05:39
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fruit on the bottom posted:I used to date a sorceress who was into that. One time she wanted to chew up my dinner and spit it into my mouth so I banished her to another plane and that was that. uh i think you might have boned a harpy there duder, and one with some pretty overactive mothering instincts. either way good job getting clear of that mess
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Feb 14, 2018 06:28
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Vernii posted:I don't think they do, but that scenario is also why you should have permanent walls of force around your tower, or imbue the stonework/walls with a self-regenerating capacity. I recommend using the imprisoned souls of dead adventurers as a power source for either, less for their energy potential and more to make an example. Hey I like a good magical shield spell as much as the next guy, but we're talking the damned air force! I mean my fireball spell is nothing compared to a Hellfire missile.
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Feb 14, 2018 06:40
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if you’ve got attention from the military you’re a lovely evil wizard anyway and deserve to be drone struck a discreet and deniable evil scheme is a successful evil scheme. throwing your weight around doing high-profile poo poo is some serious Atlantes-era garbage. get with the times
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Feb 14, 2018 07:00
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Blazing Ownager posted:Do invisibility spells work on radar? Invisibility spells only work on living eyes, if the living touch an invisible object they're going to figure it out unless they're dumb animals. Radar operates by touch, so invisibility won't work. You're either going to have to invest in an, ugh, technological solution, or piggyback a glamour spell onto the radar wave somehow so that the viewer sees what you want them to see. Technology is... tricky to interface with, especially the more powerful you are at magic.
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Feb 14, 2018 10:52
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It's a solid object so radar is going to work. Pocket dimensions or phasing spells are ways to get around that and those aren't cheap.
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Feb 14, 2018 12:27
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Hihohe posted:Isnt that just a goro Goros are beautiful and even come with their own theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQtJ2bT4Yo0 But I was making something more like this  But I couldn't make a breeding stock because people with horse heads still produce human babies for some reason, so it was kind of back to the drawing board on this one.
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Feb 14, 2018 19:33
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Gang, recently I came into possession of a thrice-cursed tesseract. I'd rather not get into too many details as to how I acquired it because some of the rituals are my own creations and not yet patented, but after a few days of tinkering with it, I realized there's an eyeball inside it. Since making contact, I've been hearing a lot of whispering in the back of my mind and whatever is in there yearns for freedom. Problem is, I just don't know what the heck it is. It's gotta be something extremely powerful if it's charging a tesseract so I'm wondering if I should just let sleeping dogs lie and be content with my engine of infinite energy or try to free the creature inside then enslave it as a thrall to my will
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Feb 15, 2018 02:14
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BROTHERS *kicks over cauldron drunkenly* happy day of the heart. Which necromancer isn't their own love of the eve? Also, you assholes still need to return those tomes to my library. I'm counting the days! Anyway, I've phased my castle into myriad planes so I can give you all real estate advice... .. just can you PLEASE return the lost tomes 'the kingdoms of a thousand sunken stars' and 'betwixt light: for journeymen' ... I don't know which one of your thralls stole them from my library but...come on.... My planar astrogeography is better than the best novice necromancer in the thread...calling you out, skypie
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Feb 15, 2018 02:25
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What the gently caress did you just loving say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Necro Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the High Templar, and I have over 300 confirmed raised dead. I am trained in shadowy warfare and I’m the top caster in the entire demiplane warlock forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the gently caress out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this loving plane, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that poo poo to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ghouls across the realm and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the bobestorm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re loving dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Demiplane Network of Necromancy and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable rear end off the face of the continent, you little poo poo. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will poo poo fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re loving dead, kiddo.
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Feb 15, 2018 03:00
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Skypie posted:What the gently caress did you just loving say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Necro Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the High Templar, and I have over 300 confirmed raised dead. I am trained in shadowy warfare and I’m the top caster in the entire demiplane warlock forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the gently caress out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this loving plane, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that poo poo to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ghouls across the realm and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the bobestorm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re loving dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Demiplane Network of Necromancy and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable rear end off the face of the continent, you little poo poo. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will poo poo fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re loving dead, kiddo. Dude, I get it. I've seen a thousand like you. I get this every time. Please just return the tome...I can send you some mud goblins...
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Feb 15, 2018 03:41
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Been reading this tome about a Lich named Ainz ooal Gown while I wait for my physical form to regenerate(dont ask how I lost it this time). Not sure how I feel about a nervous nerd Lich Lord
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Feb 15, 2018 22:52
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Anybody got a scroll lyin around for Taste Distant Object? How about True Smelling?
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Feb 15, 2018 23:05
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Capri Sun Tzu posted:Anybody got a scroll lyin around for Taste Distant Object? How about True Smelling? I see that you, too, are watching The Magicians.
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Feb 16, 2018 02:28
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Invisibility spells only work on living eyes, if the living touch an invisible object they're going to figure it out unless they're dumb animals. radar is electromagnetic radiation, same as visible light is. you just gotta make sure your invisibility runes are broad-spectrum
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Feb 16, 2018 02:31
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Look at this guy who thinks magic works according to the laws of physics 
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Feb 16, 2018 06:14
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Speleothing posted:Look at this guy who thinks magic works according to the laws of physics
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Feb 16, 2018 06:23
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Speleothing posted:Look at this guy who thinks magic works according to the laws of physics buddy, any sorcerer worth his poo poo needs at least a passing familiarity with them, otherwise you end up saying poo poo like “radar works by touch” smdh
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Feb 16, 2018 08:09
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Speleothing posted:Look at this guy who thinks magic works according to the laws of physics Well, it doesn't. But it fucks up the Laws of Physics (Keep The Laws!) and it's not very stealthy when things fall sideways, smell purple, and feel like the sound of breaking femurs now. Is it?
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Feb 16, 2018 09:03
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