/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

CuddleCryptid: Jan 11, 2013; Things could be going better

QuarkJets posted:

On average, sure. The point though is that we're making a lot of mothers who aren't able to breastfeed feel lovely over that even when breastfeeding would make no difference to the health of their babies

This is more due to the fanaticism that accompanies parenting than anything. God knows if you don't feed your baby every hour ON THE HOUR until they are 15 months old, and then only with a very specific nutrition blend made by Tibetan monks, then the kids is loving DEAD

# ? Jun 1, 2018 01:41

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# ? May 23, 2024 19:55

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

13Pandora13 posted:

An understanding that medicine and epidemiology have to account for human (societal circumstances that would allow for topless bottle feeding) and environmental circumstances (consistent availability of fresh water) outside of hard numbers is super important for understanding how medical guidelines are established as well.

The WHO page that was linked to earlier was specifically addressing the supposed benefits in cases where societal and environmental benefits are already perfect, the source that is being cited just isn't good

# ? Jun 1, 2018 01:41

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Baronjutter posted:

A lot of new moms actually get weirded out over breast feeding feeling a little too good sometimes.

What? Just... what? Is that a thing?

Like sure it feels great when the lil fucker finally latches after refusing the boob for six hours straight, but the feeling is about as sexual as finally picking the booger that�s been gouging your turbinate all day. If anything it�s ridiculously painful right up until the kid perfects their latch, and then it�s just mildly annoying until everything toughens up and nothing feels good or bad until the kid has been weaned for a year.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 01:51

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

My [28M] husband runs a large porn... thing.Relationships
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/22tskv/my_28m_husband_runs_a_large_porn_thing/

quote:

I don't know where to start. A few months ago I had noticed something weird on my SO's computer, but I have a no-snooping policy so I didn't go down the rabbit hole. Plus, it was out in the open, on his desktop, so why even bother?

Well. It ate me up so I did my own research. It led me to a porn site. Huh, okay. Didn't know my husband downloaded his porn. Sounds normal but weird. I finally gave in to my instinct yesterday and snooped around his computer while he was at "work." He runs a porn torrent site. A really big one, from the looks of it. I don't really know the details nor do I feel comfortable exposing them here (my identity would be revealed) and I figure anyone who knows about this kind of stuff would easily be able to tell my husband. I don't know anything about this stuff and feel kind of stupid though.

I tried asking him about it this morning but he just brushed it off as "oh, it's where I used to go find porn." I told him that I saw his account and email exchanges and it looks like he has a huge role in running the drat thing and he brushed it off, and took his computer to work because "he needed it." I also brought up that he has a large collection but he said that it's just accumulated over time (which doesn't make any sense because I know for sure he's not into interracial gangbangs... I wish I was joking.)

Anyway, I don't believe him because that explains why our internet bill is always high (we pay it off so it's no problem) but also why he always has so much extra money. He's always been a "collector" of everything - kind of a hoarder (clothes, dvds, music, pictures, etc), so I would have brushed off a large collection if I hadn't found e-mails detailing a bunch of porn tracking language and his account and done other snooping.

I'm not sure what to do. I feel like this is probably illegal in our country but at the same time probably no one cares. But it's just kind of slightly unsettling to me, because who knows what else he is adamantly hiding from me? Plus, in recent years I've grown more and more uncomfortable with porn... I don't really mind if he watches, but porn itself makes me uncomfortable, especially mainstream porn. Is it bad that I would feel more comfortable if he was "dealing" amateur porn? Because mainstream porn (the majority of the site) is what skeeves me out. I didn't know there was such a huge demand for it... but I guess it makes sense.

I also noticed that he was involved in the section of the site that records live shows and redistributes them (in the e-mails he talked about it... at first I didn't understand and had to google a bunch of names, etc), which is probably definitely illegal and makes me even more uncomfortable because I have no way of knowing if he's the one recording these or if he's getting his "members" to do so...

Also, another thing that just came to mind is that we've made our personal, private videos in the past and he has... well, he has a large collection of... well... me. Like a fairly large collection (or so I think it's large, it could be small compared to what these porn-lovers collect...) and I'm kind of afraid of it being on there. Although I doubt he'd do that, but how am I supposed to know if he's blocking me out of this?

I don't know. I don't know how to get him to talk to me about this. I know he was involved with things like this (or at least I think he was, because he told me many years ago something about something like this minus the porn) in the past (like 6 years ago) but I haven't heard about it since then and he keeps going on as though he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Or am I crazy? I'm afraid he's deleted the e-mail and the information that I found or hid it so I can't see...

tl;dr: Husband runs some sort of porn site. It's really big. I don't really know if he has partners (probably does) but he vehemently denies it's existence even though I SAW and then I RESEARCHED. It's making me uncomfortable and I don't know how to get him to fess up. Also, he seems kind of mad at me after I brought it up and he took his computer away...

edited for clarity and additions

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/22ykb9/update_my_28m_husband_runs_a_large_porn_thing/

quote:

I did the petty thing and threatened my husband with the divorce and going to the authorities if he didn't tell me and eventually he gave in and told me a story. I don't know if it's true or not because it's hard for me to trust him.

He said that he "founded it" years ago (around the same time he told me that he was involved in torrenting communities as I highlighted in the previous post) and sold it to someone in the community for a little bit of money, that's obviously been spent by now. He says he doesn't profit off of it any more but sticks around the community because he is highly regarded there and he likes being able to download high quality porn on a whim. He says that in order to stay a member of the community, he's expected to be active around the forum, moderate it and contribute as well and that he DOES record and distribute live cam shows sometimes.

I am not sure how I feel about this. First, I don't know if he's lying or not. Second, I find it disgusted. I have no problems with porn but treating it as freaking collectable cards, really? He called it a hobby. A freaking hobby. I asked him if he'd ever stop and he said it was a very controlling thing for me to ask of him, and very unreasonable/irrational, and that I was making him feel controlled.

tl;dr: husband is very involved in a porn sharing site, thought that he owned it but apparently he is just a high ranking monitor, this doesnt make me feel any better because he treats it as some sort of hobby and considering the content (which is both illegal and gross) i am uncomfortable. Says I'm being controlling. Halp.

I'm the last person that should talk about sex work, but recording cam shows of indie sex workers is hosed up. Probably illegal too. Also goddamn this would skeeve me out. Get a normal hobby you loving weirdo. Carve some wooden dildos. God.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 01:55

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

elise the great posted:

What? Just... what? Is that a thing?

some women have even orgasmed during birth. big ole' baby head pressing on the g-spot over and over and all that.

the human body is a loving weird thing, man

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:28

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

His online porno ring requires as much effort and group participation as it does to take online college.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:30

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

StrangersInTheNight posted:

some women have even orgasmed during birth. big ole' baby head pressing on the g-spot over and over and all that.

the human body is a loving weird thing, man

*side eye raised eyebrow at that mormon chick with 14 kids*

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:32

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

StrangersInTheNight posted:

some women have even orgasmed during birth. big ole' baby head pressing on the g-spot over and over and all that.

the human body is a loving weird thing, man

Don't forget the uncontrollable making GBS threads.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:38

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

MarcusSA posted:

Don't forget the uncontrollable making GBS threads.

can't say i know many women who cum during uncontrollable making GBS threads

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:42

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Brother Entropy posted:

can't say i know many women who cum during uncontrollable making GBS threads

Could be the other way round?

Maybe a feedback loop?

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:45

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Brother Entropy posted:

can't say i know many women who cum during uncontrollable making GBS threads

I mean its possible for guys to ejaculate while taking a poo poo sooo :shrug:

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:46

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

MarcusSA posted:

I mean its possible for guys to ejaculate while taking a poo poo sooo

either those guys aren't making GBS threads right or i'm not making GBS threads right

kind of depends on your point of view

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:47

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

MarcusSA posted:

I mean its possible for guys to ejaculate while taking a poo poo sooo

Women don't have a prostate, buddy.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:48

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

13Pandora13 posted:

Women don't have a prostate, buddy.

Clearly you are dating the wrong kind of women :smugdon:

# ? Jun 1, 2018 02:50

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

Haifisch posted:

Confusion, mostly:

I'm pretty sure that's most job application 'tests' that don't directly measure job skills.

Its to weed out the stupid people. It doesn't matter too much what order you rank the clearly bad things, just as long as you know whats good and whats bad.

You'd be surprised at how many folk rank prostitution as a great thing and are stupid enough to disclose their views.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 03:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

cumshitter posted:

Agree to do the trust thing. Place the trust in management to avoid conflict. Say that as the Trustee charged with taking care of your brother you have come to the following conclusion: the Trust will only pay out on a monthly basis an amount equal to the post-tax earnings of the brother as evidenced by paystubs to you.

Then pay yourself a $50,000 per year salary to cover the expenses of administrating the trust.

Literally a good suggestion. I mean the administration fee would depend on the overall size of the trust wrt: credibility in case it came before a court, but overall I think you could get away with it, particularly if the brother has no other assets by which to employ a respectable attorney.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 04:19

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Pick posted:

particularly if the brother has no other assets by which to employ a respectable attorney.

It's loving hilarious that this is true. America is so good

# ? Jun 1, 2018 04:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

andrew smash posted:

It's loving hilarious that this is true. America is so good

america owns

# ? Jun 1, 2018 04:29

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Pick posted:

america owns

# ? Jun 1, 2018 04:32

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

due to weird circumstances, i had to talk to physicists and psychologists all day every day for a while. both are crap at statistics but differently crap

538 article's main complaint was that there are too goddamn few rct's. true facts. but that's in large part because irb's suck balls and don't let you do poo poo with babies for hilariously great reasons. "why not do an observational study instead of a proper rct?" "cuz rct is the only bit that's not crap?" "still"

the other big complaint was confounds. statistical control for confounds is basically bullshit voodoo and indication that your rct sucks

they shouldn't have concluded that the one rct attacked breastfeeding or was mixed, they should've concluded that we don't know poo poo and metaanalysis can go suck balls

# ? Jun 1, 2018 04:33

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

lollin hard

"irb says we couldn't force women to breastfeed or not, so let's just let them lie to us depending on intervention, lol"

# ? Jun 1, 2018 04:44

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

My Sister [32/F] thinks that I [28/M] am taking over our dead Father's company.Non-Romantic
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ec6ia/my_sister_32f_thinks_that_i_28m_am_taking_over/

quote:

Our family used to be very close. Everything changed when my father died 5 years ago. My father founded a company which manufactures a particular part used in boats. Nothing fancy, but it is a kind of rags to riches story.

My sister, whom we shall call Ava took over the business when our father died. His stake in the company was divided equally among our mother, my sister and me. While I was still grieving, my sister looked after every legal procedure. I have always seen her calm and I thought that she was perfect to run the company.

My father's loss hit me hard. I went on a trip overseas for 3 months and when i came back, i co-founded a company with my best friend. The first year was really hard financially, but in the 2nd year, we did make a profit. Its still nothing compared to my father's business, but i was really happy. And i was ready to come home.

My Sister seemed really happy when i told her that i wanted to join the family business. Infact, She was the one who brought it up! Without revealing much, our names are in the company name itself. [For e.g., If my name is Jason, the company's name is "Avjas" or so.] Thats what father would have wanted.

I joined the company 3 years ago and a lot has changed since then. Ava has changed a lot. I don't know if i have changed as well. It started with small things. Ava would get moody and made decisions in haste. She has hired/fired employees for the most bizarre reasons. I didn't interfere at all. How could i? She was running the company while i was in Europe grieving and wasting money.

In the summer of 2014, i noticed something. Its really hard to describe what, but to give a gist, she was purchasing certain items from a stranger rather than a long time supplier, who was also my father's friend. I didn't like that, but didn't interfere. The problem started when that shipment didn't arrive in time. When it arrived, it wasn't proper. (The order had to be specifically as per our measurements. They had screwed up and now the whole order was basically useless). I overlook the purchases and when i brought the matter up with Ava, she wasn't happy. She told me to leave her office. I replied that i wasn't an employee and things like these matter to the company. She just asked me to leave. I was confused and I left. I later found out from an employee that the stranger was actually her brother in law's company. Did i mention that my sister is married with two kids.

I confronted my sister, she told me that its none of my business. I told her, that its literally my business as it was affecting my business. She just left her office. I let it go.

Then things went from bad to worse. I started taking more liberties. I wouldn't listen to her in everything and did what i felt was best for the company. This brings us to last month. I am having dinner with the full family when my mother jokes that she should give all her stake away to her grandson (Ava's 7 year old) and make him the CEO. I say laughing, "Its not fair! He needs to first deserve it."

Ava snaps at me and says, "As if you deserve being a part of the company. You should be thankful that I haven't thrown you out yet!"

This was really confusing. My mother was joking. She can't even make anyone a CEO even if she wanted to. The Board decides who the MD would be. We don't even have a CEO position! I was joking. Ava wasn't. She was dead serious.

I tried talking to her later, but she kept on saying that it was the alcohol talking, etc, etc. She was not that drunk.

The following week, I heard that she fired a guy I really like. He's hard working and honest. So i was really dependant on him for a lot of things. He handled the assembly department. My first reaction was that he was fired as she knew that i am dependant on him. I was furious and went to her office and started shouting at her. She told me that it had nothing to do with me and that the real reason he was fired was that he was dating one of Ava's friends. It didn't end well.

I thought that this reason was even more bizarre and told her that I am not gonna let her fire him. And if she stops me, I would personally help and finance that guy in a wrongful termination suit. Thankfully, she came to her senses.

So now we come to the part where i really need advice.

The board, do NOT hold a huge stake in the company. Yet, they do deicide who the MD would be. The board consists of mainly family friends and a couple of 80 year olds who had helped my dad financially a long time ago.

Ava added 3 new members. All 3 are her good friends. (One of them was that guys ex. This explains the sacking). She's securing her position. Nothing wrong in that. Except that, I AM NOT TRYING TO OVERTHROW HER! I have tried talking to her, but she just treats me like...poo poo.

This has gotten me thinking. I cannot live like this. I have two options. Either i quietly resign and try to repair my relationship with Ava. Or, I do indeed attempt to run for MD and completely destroy whatever remaining relationship i have with Ava.

There is a board meeting in two days. And I am really considering running for MD. I do not deserve to be treated the way she is treating me. And I do not deserve to resign. At the same time, I love her and want her (and my nephews) back in my life.

Reddit, need your help. what should I do?

tl;dr: Sister took over Dad's company after his death while I was grieving. When I went back, realised that she's not running it the way she should be running it. Fears that I will take over the company and is treating me like poo poo. Board meeting is in two days and I am seriously considering doing what she fears I will do. Should I go for it? (Run for MD)!

# ? Jun 1, 2018 05:11

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

value-brand cereal posted:

My Sister [32/F] thinks that I [28/M] am taking over our dead Father's company.Non-Romantic
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ec6ia/my_sister_32f_thinks_that_i_28m_am_taking_over/

Use the power of capitalism to destroy your sister emotionally and professionally

# ? Jun 1, 2018 05:25

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

That's really the obvious choice. People get put in charge of things they can't manage all the time, and that kind of toxic behavior will poison the workforce of a company until the best people have all left.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 05:29

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

value-brand cereal posted:

My Sister [32/F] thinks that I [28/M] am taking over our dead Father's company.Non-Romantic
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ec6ia/my_sister_32f_thinks_that_i_28m_am_taking_over/

Just sell her your stake at the company and move on. You clearly are not going to convince her not to tank this company, and are not willing to actually push your percentage any further, so cut your losses.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 05:29

SpazmasterX: Jul 13, 2006; Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~

value-brand cereal posted:

My Sister [32/F] thinks that I [28/M] am taking over our dead Father's company.Non-Romantic
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ec6ia/my_sister_32f_thinks_that_i_28m_am_taking_over/

His mother is a third owner and yet seems to be completely absent or not included in any of these proceedings. There's no reason this dude and his mom can't band together to either oust her or unfuck her stupid head.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 05:30

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

He's going to have a lovely relationship with her either way since she can't handle the job emotionally. Might as well save the company. Selling out won't stop her from taking everything personally.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 05:53

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

cumshitter posted:

He's going to have a lovely relationship with her either way since she can't handle the job emotionally. Might as well save the company. Selling out won't stop her from taking everything personally.

Who cares? Once he's out of the company, it's no longer his problem. I mean, if he really wanted to change things, he'd gang up with Mom and remove Sister as CEO/President/Whatever. But he isn't going to.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 06:01

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who cares? Once he's out of the company, it's no longer his problem. I mean, if he really wanted to change things, he'd gang up with Mom and remove Sister as CEO/President/Whatever. But he isn't going to.

In the comments he says he cares, since it's his dead fathers company, and he's not going tp give it up.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 06:28

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

There�s some juicy financial ones on today. The rest is mostly boring judging from the headlines. But this one:

No Love Shack � and We�re Married!

quote:

u/flight_path
I�ve been married since November to a wonderful Woman whom I�ve dated for 5+ years. We�ve never lived together � My story is that I rent an affordable apartment in the suburbs - where I live. it�s effectively impossible to find affordable rent today where we live. She rents her parents basement suite and pays her parents roughly twice what I pay my landlord in rent. Her story is that she does this because it is close to work (where she runs her own business) albeit she has also said she does it to support her parents who live a very affluent lifestyle � they live in a 5m house and her mom has never driven s far worth less than $70,000 since I�ve been around. I don�t personally feel the can afford this life style.

I feel lost. I want to live with my wife.

TLDR: Married for months don�t live with my wife as she prefers to live with her parents and not with me.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 07:39

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

Baggage level: off the charts

# ? Jun 1, 2018 08:23

cock hero flux: Apr 17, 2011

girl pants posted:

Use the power of capitalism to destroy your sister emotionally and professionally

imagine the thanksgiving dinner after he ousts his sister

imagine the glares

# ? Jun 1, 2018 08:34

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

what the gently caress is wrong with breastfeeding we've been doing it for *googles evolution of the tit* 310 million years

# ? Jun 1, 2018 08:40

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Whorelord posted:

what the gently caress is wrong with breastfeeding we've been doing it for *googles evolution of the tit* 310 million years

Such an elegant design. Proof of a creator imo

# ? Jun 1, 2018 09:10

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

QuarkJets posted:

Thanks. At first I was concerned that I was talking to a crowd that was employing antivax-levels of "blindly trust anyone who tells you what you want to believe" but it seems like maybe that's not the case

Me so glad smart duck man there to stop us from hurt self.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 09:56

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

QuarkJets posted:

Thanks. At first I was concerned that I was talking to a crowd that was employing antivax-levels of "blindly trust anyone who tells you what you want to believe" but it seems like maybe that's not the case

Thanks smart physics-man for saving us from our blindness, you truly lifted the scales from our eyes!

So, on average, how many times a day do you push the bridge of your glasses up and start a sentence with 'Well as a physicist...' in a non-work related setting. I'm guessing somewhere north of a dozen.

Still not as bad as they guy equating intelligence with memory, like Kim Peek was the smartest guy who ever lived or something.

Aramoro fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Jun 1, 2018

# ? Jun 1, 2018 11:42

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

First, assume a perfectly spherical boob

# ? Jun 1, 2018 11:53

Garrand: Dec 28, 2012; Rhino, you did this to me!

CheesyDog posted:

First, assume a perfectly spherical boob

Turn off your monitor

# ? Jun 1, 2018 11:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Garrand posted:

Turn off your monitor

First time that�s made me lmao but nice

# ? Jun 1, 2018 12:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 19:55

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

I [26F] found out last night about my husbands [26M] gambling addiction. Lost 200K+. Can we come back from this?

quote:

I [26F] found out last night my husband [26M] of 2 years lost over 200K+ gambling online in four months.

He took out 70K in personal loans in his name and in my name without my knowledge (He used my social and signed for me for at a bank not in our home state, which is fraud and a federal crime, but more on that later....) His parents gifted us money (50K) for a down payment on a house and that�s gone. He switched our credit cards to only pay the minimum and racked up over 60K on multiple cards. As a last ditch effort to keep it all at bay he spent our entire checking account and savings account to try to cover it up, which obviously didn�t work out so great.

I found out yesterday when my debit card got declined and I couldn�t pay for gas and lunch at work. He finally admitted the addiction to his parents last night.

I�m in total shock, I�m numb, I feel stupid, I could throw up. How could I not see it? Why could I trust so blindly? Will I ever be able to trust him again? Has anyone come back from this? We are only 26. I vowed till death do us part but I don�t know if I can get past this. Need advice from someone who doesn�t have an opinion on my life right now...

TL;DR found out last night my husband is addicted to gambling and lost thousands. All our money is gone. Can we come back from this?

quote:

He is already going to a therapist so I question if that�s even going to do anything at this point. Marriage counseling is a must though and he knows that.

Also, what makes this even worse is I am a CPA. I should know better. I should have seen the signs but I never did.

Regarding the money: His parents have a great deal of money and already said they will pay it all off even if it means dipping into their 401k. While I obviously am thankful for them, a part of me thinks he won�t feel the damage of his actions if mommy and daddy come to the rescue. But then there is my credit and future to think about as well.

With that said, his parents keep saying �don�t worry about the money, just fix your marriage� so I feel like I�m just expected to stay and figure this out. They are very conservative and divorce isn�t acceptable. But I honestly don�t think I can get past it. Even if the debt gets paid by them, I fear I�ll never regain that trust.

# ? Jun 1, 2018 13:17

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