/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Pvt.Scott posted:

What do cloistered clerics have to do with anything?

I dunno man look I'm just trying to piece this mystery together like everybody else.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 20:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 10:43

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Hello Ketene posted:

black woman is trying to steal our precious aryan children

ofc OP gets extra racist in the comment sections of both threads

sounds almost too perfect to be true, but as always, I choose to believe this person actually exists

You weren't kidding.

quote:

That's nice (it actually isn't) that you think it should, but that's first of all not really a legal issue and second of all not how medical licensure works.

| My BIL says they did not start anything until months after she died. But I don't believe it.

Especially if nothing started until after she passed. Honestly, a judge is gonna see through this too--your ultimate motivation as shown in your other post (the fact she's African-American) is going to shine through.

OP posted:

But what would her hospital think about her behavior? My family is thinking of having a meeting with her superiors and I bet they wont be happy with what she did.

quote:

He isn�t her patient.

She didn�t date him until your sister passed (show proof if you disagree)

They will not care. She didn�t do anything unethical. Though you seem to think being black is unethical.

OP posted:

I think they will because thier reputation maybe in trouble. I can just tell a couple of people to send in complaints about her.

Committing fraud for the sake of the children!

And another thread:

quote:

Your problem is that she is black, left wing and not religious. There�s no legal avenue to stop her influencing them as their new step mom and if she adopts she will be their mother and be able to keep you away from them which would be in their best interests from the sounds of it.

OP posted:

Yes that is one of the problem. Opposite from how my sister requested her kids be raised. I am honoring her wish and I will fight the kids to make sure they are raised in a proper culture and not influenced by someone who is not just a different race it different upbringing. The way woman is literally all the way from Africa. What if she decides one day she wants to take the kids there?

Completely oblivious. What a pile of work. And repeatedly whining when people them on their racism.

Edit: LOL, check out this edit on the licensing OP:

quote:

Edit: wow am very shocked at how mean everyone has been. I am also getting private hateful messages which are very upsetting. Okay I will not contact her superiors because that would not benefit my sisters kids. I am just going to have a sit down talk to my BIL and pour my heart out and hopefully he can stop the adoption. You guys are lawyers but this mean and one sided? I did not expect to get this much hate. I will never post on this sub again. I will take the high road. God bless you and please stop calling me racist. I am not. I am very hurt by all these replies.

Absurd Alhazred fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Jul 22, 2018

# ? Jul 22, 2018 20:47

Sai-kun: Feb 6, 2011; Is it ever going to be enough, to love another and be loved?

"pour my heart out"

get loving disowned, loser

# ? Jul 22, 2018 20:51

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Hello Ketene posted:

sounds almost too perfect to be true, but as always, I choose to believe this person actually exists

You can tell it's true because it makes no loving sense. Fake posts always have a way of explaining every other person's motivations and actions outside of the OP's perspective - like a piece of fiction.

This idiot is real and you can tell because he's like, "I can't let muh sister's kids be raised by this doctor, because SHE'S BLACK!" And despite everyone pointing out to him how stupid it is, and what a great break it is that the kids will be well provided for, he still doesn't loving get it. That's 100% real.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 21:37

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

I [25F] gave my boyfriend [26M] an ultimatum to propose. He did and it's clear neither of us is happy. I'm terrified I ruined my relationship.

quote:

u/forcedengagement
We've been dating for 6.5 years, so a long time. I have wanted to be engaged since I graduated college at 22. We'd already been living together for 1.5 years at that point and my boyfriend had been working for a year. I was ready. I was even happy to have a long engagement if it just meant promising ourselves to one another. He wasn't ready, said that at our young age dating for 3 years wasn't the same as when you're older. I wasn't happy but accepted it.

Over the last year, many things have led me to believe he would propose on our anniversary in December. For one, 6.5 years together. I mean, to me that's self-explanatory. But additionally, we're both at really good places in our personal and professional lives. We're super happy and had really gotten serious when talking about marriage. So I was expecting it.

Our anniversary comes and no proposal. I was devastated. After many talks and the same old reasons we weren't engaged yet, I finally snapped. I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum. I said if we weren't engaged by April, I was walking. I told him he can't waste my life like this and I need a solid commitment.

He proposed 2 weeks later. I'm not going to lie, knowing that I essentially forced his hand took a lot of the romance out of the moment. We talked a lot more and he assured me this is what he wanted, that he was hesitant but I was who he wanted to be with and if a proposal is what it took that was a small price to pay.

So I felt better. But as we've been planning this wedding it is so totally obvious he is not about it. He has no enthusiasm. He's been short with me. He's distant. Finally I sat him down and asked if he even wanted to get married and he said yes, but he really wished I hadn't forced him. That all things would come in due time and I was just impatient to the point that it took the joy out of the entire process. That he doesn't feel like we're getting married in a romantic sense, but just signing a contract. He called the idea of marrying me sterile.

I'm freaking out now. I love my boyfriend so much, he really is the man I want to marry. He says he would've proposed and if I believe that, then all of this is my fault for being impatient. But if he kept dragging his feet...then this was necessary. Except, do I even want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry me? The answer is yes, because I loving love him, but I know it should be know. What am I supposed to do?

TL;DR: I forced my boyfriend to propose and got what I wanted but it feels awful. I'm scared I ruined our relationship and I don't know what to do.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 21:52

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

Paul Zuvella posted:

Help, what is reading comprehension?

Uh ok?

Caganer posted:

don't give her ideas!

it's two things.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 21:54

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Except, do I even want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry me? The answer is yes

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:02

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

Milotic posted:

I [25F] gave my boyfriend [26M] an ultimatum to propose. He did and it's clear neither of us is happy. I'm terrified I ruined my relationship.

The comments on this one are driving me crazy. "Everyone has their own timeline, you should have waited until he was ready!" Here's my hot take- if the relationship has been going for 5 years or more and you still aren't "ready" you never will be.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:12

Shnag: Dec 8, 2010; "I'll be whatever I wanna do!"

If one person has three wives (three marriages) in seven years, and an other person is with one person for seven years but never marry, who is more 'ready' for LTRs?

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:19

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Wonder at what point during the dead wife's cancer treatment the doctor and dude started getting romantically involved tho. Doubt it just happened spontaneously after wife died.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:25

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

The comments on this one are driving me crazy. "Everyone has their own timeline, you should have waited until he was ready!" Here's my hot take- if the relationship has been going for 5 years or more and you still aren't "ready" you never will be.

We don't know the boyfriend's concerns about marriage so it's hard to say if/when he would have been "ready" in the future or not. They had discussions about marriage so presumably the boyfriend's objections to marriage would have come up. Frankly, it doesn't matter at this point. Once you issue an ultimatum to your partner for a marriage proposal there's realistically only two outcomes: 1) Your partner rejects the ultimatum and ends the relationship or 2) your partner buckles to the ultimatum and unwillingly gets dragged into a marriage they clearly are not prepared for. Outside of a sitcom, you just aren't going to have 3) your partner overcomes their fear of commitment and an hour later you two live a long and happy life.

By all accounts they had a happy long term relationship. Now, they have an "engagement" where boyfriend feels resentful for OP forcing a marriage on him he wasn't ready for. The obvious answer is to either break up or put the wedding on hold until they can resolve theses issues. Not many successful marriages are built by gunpoint.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:32

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

ArbitraryC posted:

Wonder at what point during the dead wife's cancer treatment the doctor and dude started getting romantically involved tho. Doubt it just happened spontaneously after wife died.

Those goddamned scheming negresses

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:33

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

ArbitraryC posted:

Wonder at what point during the dead wife's cancer treatment the doctor and dude started getting romantically involved tho. Doubt it just happened spontaneously after wife died.

I mean there's always the possibility he was cheating, but men move on insanely quickly after losing a spouse as a general rule. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he went from acquaintance to second wife in under a year.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:36

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

tactlessbastard posted:

Those goddamned scheming negresses

I mean the OP is obviously flagrantly racist, no doubt about that. I just think it also comes across as a bit unprofessional to be getting involved with your dying client's SO. Like if I were just a friend of a married couple and saw that happen it'd kind of leave a bad taste in my mouth and I don't think I'd be that supportive of the new relationship.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:38

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

ArbitraryC posted:

Wonder at what point during the dead wife's cancer treatment the doctor and dude started getting romantically involved tho. Doubt it just happened spontaneously after wife died.

The husband and doctor may have mutually bonded over grief if the doctor grew attached to the patient, too. There are a million possibilities, from deep bond to shallow rebound to all-out cheating. None of it is the racist-rear end OP�s business regardless.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:40

SpaceViking: Sep 2, 2011; Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

ArbitraryC posted:

Wonder at what point during the dead wife's cancer treatment the doctor and dude started getting romantically involved tho. Doubt it just happened spontaneously after wife died.

Can't say for sure, but I've seen similar situations happen and in those cases it was just that they spent a lot of time talking while the treatments were happening, and when the spouse died they already knew each other pretty well. The case I know of was two spouses of cancer patients though, no doctors.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 22:42

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

GamingHyena posted:

We don't know the boyfriend's concerns about marriage so it's hard to say if/when he would have been "ready" in the future or not. They had discussions about marriage so presumably the boyfriend's objections to marriage would have come up. Frankly, it doesn't matter at this point. Once you issue an ultimatum to your partner for a marriage proposal there's realistically only two outcomes: 1) Your partner rejects the ultimatum and ends the relationship or 2) your partner buckles to the ultimatum and unwillingly gets dragged into a marriage they clearly are not prepared for. Outside of a sitcom, you just aren't going to have 3) your partner overcomes their fear of commitment and an hour later you two live a long and happy life.

By all accounts they had a happy long term relationship. Now, they have an "engagement" where boyfriend feels resentful for OP forcing a marriage on him he wasn't ready for. The obvious answer is to either break up or put the wedding on hold until they can resolve theses issues. Not many successful marriages are built by gunpoint.

The story sounds like something that'd happen to my irl friends 'Jack' and 'Jill'. Jill and her two younger sisters were all adopted as babies from China by two married lesbian doctors. They were raised in way small town rural wooded Minnesota, like sub 300 people small town. Unfortunately for Jill, her moms had that whole lesbian sex death syndrome goin' on, and the younger/more energetic mom up and ran off with a hussie from the cities one night and they hear nothin from her til she calls to check in 3 months later from a sailboat off Belize.

Point being, Jill clearly has mommy and attactment issues. Jill met Jack while the momma dramma was goin on during her final years of undergrad. Jack's a company man, been one since he was recruited after his first tour during the surge, is about 10 years older than Jill. Jack's had 2 long term relationships end with 'Dear John' letters after getting deployed, so 1.5 years into his relationship with Jill he gets another deployment and invites Jill to move into his house, pay a symbolic amount for rent ($200/month for everything), and do a LDR thing during his 9 months. Jill and Jack do this, Jill cries a lot, starts grad school to distract herself.

Long story short they been dating for 6.5 years now when Jack got another deployment and Jill went a bit mad about getting engaged. Jill asked me for advice, about whether I thought an ultimatum would work and how she wishes Jack were as emotionally available as I am.

I tell her to get a dog. She does, relationship between Jack and Jill aint never been better! Now they got a pointer for when they go bow hunt'n.

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean the OP is obviously flagrantly racist, no doubt about that. I just think it also comes across as a bit unprofessional to be getting involved with your dying client's SO. Like if I were just a friend of a married couple and saw that happen it'd kind of leave a bad taste in my mouth and I don't think I'd be that supportive of the new relationship.

could also be that they met up outside of client/patient relation, like at a bar, grief support group, or even the wifes funeral and just stayed in touch since then

My Imaginary GF fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Jul 22, 2018

# ? Jul 22, 2018 23:22

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

extra row of teeth posted:

The husband and doctor may have mutually bonded over grief if the doctor grew attached to the patient, too. There are a million possibilities, from deep bond to shallow rebound to all-out cheating. None of it is the racist-rear end OP�s business regardless.

Yeah, I�m doubting the BIL got all hot and bothered by the cancer free doctor and started cheating on his dying wife. Depending on different factors, they could have gotten to know one another well and bonded over the wife�s illness.

While OP sounds racist as Hell and that they want to complain to the hospital about �ethics�, it sounds like misplaced grief and anger too. The BIL is going to marry the woman that failed to save his wife with science over prayer?!

Also, just a question on the adoption part. I�m not sure how step-parent/step-child stuff works in a legal sense, could that be in order so that the new wife would be allowed to put the children on her insurance or make doctor/medical decisions on their behalf. LMK if I�m off base; I just don�t know if for example, a step-parent can get their step-children covered as dependents in their insurance and such.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 00:12

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

Milotic posted:

I [25F] gave my boyfriend [26M] an ultimatum to propose. He did and it's clear neither of us is happy. I'm terrified I ruined my relationship.

uhhh guys? What does this mean?

quote:

Over the last year, many things have led me to believe he would propose on our anniversary in December. For one, 6.5 years together. I mean, to me that's self-explanatory.

Our anniversary comes and no proposal.

They celebrate half anniversaries?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 00:20

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

quote:
OP posted:
Yes that is one of the problem. Opposite from how my sister requested her kids be raised. I am honoring her wish and I will fight the kids to make sure they are raised in a proper culture and not influenced by someone who is not just a different race it different upbringing. The way woman is literally all the way from Africa. What if she decides one day she wants to take the kids there?

The bolded part is especially funny to me. Like, whenever she enters a room, the opening to the Lion King starts playing.

"Hi. How're you holding up after the first round of radiatio--"
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama!

# ? Jul 23, 2018 00:27

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

also worth noting that "the wife's doctor" doesn't even necessarily mean her primary care physician. people with cancer see tons of specialists for all the different things that are going wrong with their body from the disease or the treatments; this doctor could be any of them, maybe one the wife only saw once or twice.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 00:39

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Bored posted:

The bolded part is especially funny to me. Like, whenever she enters a room, the opening to the Lion King starts playing.

"Hi. How're you holding up after the first round of radiatio--"
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama!

I bless the homewreckers down in Africa...

# ? Jul 23, 2018 00:46

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

A big flaming stink posted:

ANYWAY

Me [23F] with my coach's fianc� [29F], she confronted me, I had a panic attack & now it's hard for me to go to practice

This is old by the thread's standards, but the "sport" is Quidditch, isn't it?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 01:15

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Mameluke posted:

This is old by the thread's standards, but the "sport" is Quidditch, isn't it?

That or roller derby, don�t think it was ever confirmed either way.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 01:41

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My (31m) girlfriend (29f) suddenly wants a hysterectomy???

quote:

Okay, some backstory. We've been together about a year and a half, we get along fabulously, I love her like crazy. We have had a rough patch, but we made it through and now we're great. We say I love you all the time, regular dates, rarely fight, ect. Great dynamic.

We're both childfree. It was one of the first things we bonded over. She's been planning to get her tubes tied when she was thirty since before we met (she has an IUD now) so permanent birth control is nothing new. I support her decision completely. But then a couple days ago, we were talking, and the topic of how she'll be 30 soon came up and the surgery. Then she drops on me totally casually that instead of getting her tubes tied, she's leaning towards getting her uterus completely taken out.

I'll admit, I'm not the most medically savvy, but from what I know and looked up about it, it doesn't seem safe or logical, especially at her age, so it was kind of a bombshell. I said I thought it had too many health risks and could send her into menopause from what I know about it. She just kept repeating that she knows what she's talking about and it's fine, and not to question her. From what I know, her periods arent very heavy or painful, and there's no history of cancers, so I have no idea what brought this on. It escalated to a heated argument that lead to her saying she wished she hadn't said anything and that it's not my body and storming out of the room. That was a few days ago and things are still chilly. Neither of us have said anything on the topic.

So, what the hell??? She won't say why, and from what I've researched on the procedure it A) seems completely unnecessary, B) could be/IS harmful for a woman her age, and C) good luck finding a doctor who'll do it! She's usually super into her health and weighing the risks and benefits, so I dont get it. Am I missing something here, or am I just being an unsupportive jackass?

** TL;DR: GF wants a hysterectomy. Wont give reasons beyond "Because I decided it's the best option." I think it's dangerous. What's going on and how do I broach this? **

[UPDATE] My (31m) girlfriend (29f) suddenly wants a hysterectomy???

quote:

EDIT: Wow, this blew up. I've read through all the replies and want to address a few things, especially for anyone who didn't read the original post:

I'm not being abused. I'm not being manipulated. The hysterectomy idea was brought up as an option to permanent sterilization, it's part of an ongoing conversation. We are childfree, she had planned to get her tubes tied when she turned 30 since before she met me. It probably would not have escalated to this if I had just said "okay." It was when I reacted strongly that she got defensive.

Therapy, particulary couples therapy was already suggested between us and we're probably going to go for it. She admitted she has some baggage surrounding her previous dead bedroom relationships, and because I wasn't listening and she figured that getting her ovaries out was a potential solution to something. I didn't think it was needed to go into detail like this, but she said when we were talking that she was surprised at how heated she got over the issue. She also realized after the fact no doctor would take her ovaries out voluntarily.

For the people that missed it, we generally communicate pretty well. I just missed the sex talk from her... for 6 months. Again, something that can hopefully be addressed with therapy. If every bump in the road or accidental miscommunication is breakup worthy... jeepers, good luck to you guys

I got a lot of advice on the last post from all points of view, and a couple of messages, so I figured I'd do an update. First off, she doesn't actually want a hysterectomy, it was a cry for help or a red flag. Also, I'm an idiot.

So the day after I made the post, I wanted to clear the air because like I'd said, things were chilly and off. So I sat down with her and I had a whole apology planned about doubting her judgment and clearly she knows her body and I was just worried because I love her and I support her and so on and so forth, but I only got partway in before she got upset, told me it doesn't matter because she knows she can't get one and its not happening. Then I got really confused and said if it's what she wants, then I'll help her get one and find the right doctor and we can do our research together. She yelled that she doesn't want one and to drop it and leave her alone. Then she burst into tears and stormed out of the apartment.

So I'm super confused and worried at this point. I didn't call because when she gets this upset, it's better to leave her be. But I sent her a text telling her I love her and I want to fix whatever is going on. She came back an hour later still crying and said she needs to talk and tell me something. I was completely braced for the worst, that she'd cheated or was pregnant, but I think what she said actually hurt more. She wanted the hysterectomy as a last ditch resort to intentionally kill her sex drive. Remember how I mentioned we had a rough patch? About 6 months ago. Well I thought everything was better than ever since then, but what I didn't notice was Ive coincidentally taken on some bigger projects at work since then, which has upped my stress levels, and I didn't notice we've been having less and less sex. She pointed out that we only had sex twice in the past month, and I dont initiate. She also told me her last three relationships ended with dead bedrooms where her partners refused to work on it so she was scared it's happening to her again. She then told me that if it keeps happening to her, that there must be something wrong with her and how awful she feels, so she jus wanted to not feel any thing sexually. Honestly, the whole thing is heartbreaking and I felt so guilty. She had brought up the sex thing a few times before but I hadnt taken it serious enough and I guess she just gave up.

Anyways, I felt like garbage and I've spent every day since trying to make it up to her (and yes, we've been having sex.) I've also committed to making I initiate and to actually listen before things snowball. She's happier, shes incredible, I'm much better for actually getting some too, and I'm the luckiest man on the planet.

** TL;DR: she didn't want a hysterectomy, she wanted me to get my head out of my rear end and pay attention. We're fixing what could have been a dead bedroom, and working on communication. This will probably make us stronger

# ? Jul 23, 2018 01:52

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (31m) girlfriend (29f) suddenly wants a hysterectomy???

[UPDATE] My (31m) girlfriend (29f) suddenly wants a hysterectomy???

very normal

# ? Jul 23, 2018 01:57

Barudak: May 7, 2007

She should investigate a lobotomy for that part of her brain.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:01

HMS Beagle: Feb 13, 2009

Ugly In The Morning posted:

That or roller derby, don�t think it was ever confirmed either way.

Roller Derby wouldn�t be at an elementary school facility would it?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:02

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

If the gym is big enough it could be.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:05

Barudak: May 7, 2007

HMS Beagle posted:

Roller Derby wouldn�t be at an elementary school facility would it?

If its Seattle, yes.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:06

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (31m) girlfriend (29f) suddenly wants a hysterectomy???

[UPDATE] My (31m) girlfriend (29f) suddenly wants a hysterectomy???

I didn't know you could even get an "elective hysterectomy" without some sort of medical justification. I wonder if she has cancer and can't/won't tell him.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:10

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

GamingHyena posted:

I didn't know you could even get an "elective hysterectomy" without some sort of medical justification. I wonder if she has cancer and can't/won't tell him.

�Threatening a hysterectomy because of a dead bedroom situation over discussing lack of sex� is definitely a medical issue, but not of the lady parts.

I�ve explored my (future) options of a hysterectomy/oophorectomy in my forties, and it�s definitely not for �eh, I just want to kill my sex drive�. Gynecological cancers run rampant in my family.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:22

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

GamingHyena posted:

I didn't know you could even get an "elective hysterectomy" without some sort of medical justification. I wonder if she has cancer and can't/won't tell him.

You can't. They even bring it up in the post.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:25

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Girl just needs to get hooked up with spironolactone

I got on it for the same reason, and it took my sex drive from Relationship Problem all the way down to optional

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:29

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

Antidepressants can possibly solve both of her problems at once.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:31

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

HMS Beagle posted:

Roller Derby wouldn�t be at an elementary school facility would it?

once saw derby girl once removed her panties mid game and shot them likea rubber band into the crowd during a jam

also yes sometimes they are at elementary schools

# ? Jul 23, 2018 02:56

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Please consider the following all bolded. Then, take that and add another layer of pretend bold, which I call Super Bold 2.

Me [40F] with my Sisters [42/44F] and Mother [65F], I've cut them out of my life, they want access to my children [11M/9M]

quote:

Ugh, I have a long, complicated, toxic relationship with my sisters (Becky and Jenny) and my mother.

Highlights include:

My mom being super negligent as a parent, isolating me from my sisters and dad as a child after they split, and then leaving me by myself from Thursday night to Monday morning every weekend so she could see her boyfriend when I was 14.

Becky making a bet with her drug dealer friend that I was 18 and still a virgin. Then getting mad at me when I wouldn't let him 'prove it'

Jenny using me for free babysitting for the kid she had at 19 without her boyfriend's willingness (went off BC and didn't tell him), from the age of 14 to 18. She filed for subsidized babysitting from the government, but kept all the money for herself.

My mom telling me when I was about 23 that I didn't have real emotions and I just used people to my own advantage.

I was living with my mom and her sister (Aunt has MS) and paying $500/mth in rent. (late 90s). My family, (sisters, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, my mom), would all go out to my Aunt's cabin on a lake and have huge bbq's and fun times. I was never invited. Because I worked nights at 7-11 and slept all day, which my mom considered was lazy. Even though I worked from 10pm-6am.

Jenny telling me she was disappointed when I told her I was pregnant with my first child, because she had hoped I was a lesbian and never would have children.

I really did try to keep in touch through phone calls etc (we're a bit spread out across two provinces) when I was younger. I would call to see what was going on with them, they would never bother to call me back. They never called me at all to see how I was doing. My mom does the same thing as this as well.

Had an incident where I lost my two boys because of living in a house that should have been condemned. (too poor to move, boyfriend at the time refused to move and I was stuck there). Got a lawyer and new place to live, got them back. Becky at the time had just moved out to where my mom and I live, expected me to chauffer her around all the time, wanted me to take her to the mall. I said no, she said she was glad my children got taken away from me and she hoped mom (who was babysitting at the time) would never give them back to me. I did a wtf shove to her shoulder with the back of my hand as I was driving. She proceeded to lean over, wrap her hand in my hair so I couldn't move, and punch me in the head. While I was driving down a busy road.

Mom and I got into an argument over something stupid, like weeding my front flower bed or something, really stupid like that. She proceeds to call my boyfriend/father of my children while he was at work, and bitch at him for 2hrs about me being horrible and ungrateful and how they have to do something about me. Then my grandmother calls me up, tells me that I'm horrible and ungrateful, and that I'm going to kill my mother who has heart issues, with a heart attack, because I'm so horrible and ungrateful.

When my ex cheated on me and left me for the other woman, I called up my sister Jenny crying to tell her about it. Jenny then proceeded to cackle about how much of a loser he was and how it served my mom right because he was her favourite Son In law.

A month after my ex left, and both my sisters were at my mom's house with me, my mom held an impromptu meeting to discuss how she was going to die soon and who was going to get her stuff.

Two years later, with new boyfriend, got pregnant by accident. Discussed with who was supportive after I explained how I couldn't go through with an abortion. (I'm pro choice, I just can't do it to myself, in that situation, after already having kids). Told Becky. Becky immediately started pressuring me to have an abortion and get my tubes tied. Tell Jenny, Jenny immediately tells me how I'm loving up everyone's life and how I should get an abortion and my tubes tied. They both tell me that if I tell my mom, it will kill her with a heart attack, I would be responsible for her death. In the meantime, Jenny's second daughter Emma is pregnant, 19, and everyone is overjoyed by the news.

Two weeks later my dad dies. My mom makes the funeral of her ex husband, who had been happily remarried for years, all about herself. How she loved him first and longer than his widow, conveniently forgetting she cheated on him for years and left him for another man.

My sisters excluded me from the funeral. I was not asked to share a memory of my dad. Contribute anything to the program, help with any arrangements. I was not told that my dad's kids and his sisters and mother were all walking in together and sitting together. I was sat alone, at the back, with my youngest child so I could 'keep him under control'. I was excluded from all family functions, dinners, breakfasts, hang outs by the hotel pool, all weekend long. At the post funeral dinner, I was sat at the kids table. It's wrong to feel this way, but everyone made such a big deal about Emma's pregnancy, and mine was treated like a dirty, shameful secret. My dad had been happy for me, he'd told his sisters, but also said it was a secret so not to say anything to my mom. That got to me, because while he was alive, he never really showed that he cared about me.

Mom asked me if I wanted a necklace with my dad's thumbprint on it or some of his ashes in a soap stone carving. She said she would pay. I chose the ashes, my sisters freaked out because they wanted the ashes and thought I should get the pendant, and they only had one little soapstone carving thing to put the ashes into.

Two weeks after my dad's funeral, I miscarried. When I started spotting, Jenny told me I had a tubal pregnancy and I was going to die if I didn't go to the ER right then. She pulled this same crap when I was 19 and pregnant (I miscarried that one too, but a few weeks after her tubal declaration), and I was told by my doctor then that Tubals weren't hereditary and that my sister was insane. Jenny declared she was tired of me not listening to her and she was cutting me out of her life. (Baby had stopped growing, that's why I miscarried)

I reached my limit in June of 2014 when both my sisters called me up over a picture I had put on facebook. I had put my eldest son in an ac/dc shirt a few months before and posted the pic to FB. I had rescued the shirt from the garbage 20yrs before after Becky threw it out. Some drunken idiot at one of her house parties she'd throw whenever my mom was out of town for the weekend, threw up on it and she didn't want to clean it. So I fished it out, cleaned it, and kept it. She suddenly decided that she wanted and needed that shirt back. At 12am at night. When my boyfriend, asleep in the next room had work at 6 in the morning. I made the mistake of saying something to my mom about it, who then said I didn't even like AC/DC because I had never been to a concert when Becky had. Cuz you know, AC/DC tickets are so easy to get. My boyfriend btw, took me to AC/DC last Sept and bought me a replacement concert tee and a hat, cuz he's awesome.

So anyways, that was it. I blocked everybody on FB and my phone. I didn't have one last all out fight about it. I just did it. And things have been really good since then. I get really sad sometimes, because I have no family now. My dad's family had a big family reunion that I skipped because both my sisters were going to be there. Even their kids have started to behave crappy towards me, which of course they are, they're picking up on how their parents treat me, why would they do it any differently.

My ex however, well he feels bad for my mom, even though I've told him for years to just block her and move on. He had the kids on Halloween and Xmas of last year, and both times he brought the kids around to see my mom and Becky, even though I have asked him not to. So today, Becky calls him up wanting to take the kids camping long weekend. Even before we split up, ex had agreed with me that was never happening because all Becky does is drink until she's sloppy drunk and get high in her spare time. Fine for her if she wants to do that, I don't want her around my kids though. She calls him to see if he has my number (which is of course my ex has my number! We have kids together), because she wants to tell me this camping thing is happening, not to ask, but to tell me she's doing this. My family never asks. So he was calling to give me a heads up.

I ended up calling my ex back in tears, begging with him to stop bringing the boys around my family and to block their numbers. These are horrible, toxic people, who think I'm literally a walking piece of poo poo. Why would I want them around my kids? He spouted something about maybe it could be an emergency, I returned with a I don't even care if somebody dies because as far as I'm concerned they are dead.

I'm upset and have been crying all day because just that little bit of contact has made me feel so awful. Like I'm a miserable human being who is just missing whatever it is in them to make their own parent and sisters like them. I know in my head it's never going to happen. They've all been calling me a variation of a freak for years. For awhile there all three of them were saying I have some form of mental illness, with each of them pushing their favourite one. (I've heard bipolar, depression, Clinical depression, Jenny's favourite is I'm schizophrenic because I have memories of things happening from our childhood that she doesn't).

So I am at a loss as to what to do? Do I call them up and say as far as I'm concerned, never contact me and my kids again? Do I yell and scream? Do I unblock them on facebook and send a nasty message? Do I do nothing and continue to try to ignore them? I don't know what to do and my current SO is no help because his family isn't all hosed up like mine is. I just don't know how to handle this so I never have to speak to any of them again. The other problem is, my mom is quite wealthy now and has been very vocal in the past about 'grandparents rights'. When I first moved in with my SO in 2014, which is 2hrs away from her house, she tried telling me that I had to bring the kids to visit her once a month. She would never actually put the effort in to drive up here to see them, she expects me to bring them to her. I still feel guilty about not doing it.

TL;DR:

I ghosted on my toxic family 2yrs ago. Today my middle sister, Becky, called my ex for my number (I have her's blocked) because she wants to take my kids camping over the may long weekend. I want her to jump off a cliff and die. How should I tell them all to just leave me and my kids alone? Or should I even bother doing anything at all?

(Edited to add in extra spaces)

Update: I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind responses. Like I mentioned in one of my replies, it was very validating to hear that no, their lovely behavior wasn't all in my head. I have been in counseling for these issues for years, last time was when my ex left in 2011. Have been looking for a new counselor where I live now, though resources here are stretched pretty thin and it's been hard to get someone to call me back. It was a hard realization yesterday that I have some HUGE issues over my dad dying and all that his death encompassed, that I just have never dealt with. So deff will be going back to counseling and exploring a few things.

Did some legal research last night and will be contacting a lawyer in about 15 mins about grandparents rights and protecting my kids from them. I know for a fact that mom would never get court ordered care of the kids, she has too many health issues (bad heart, smoker, overweight, doesn't ever really leave her house) and is responsible for my aunt's care (confined to a bed with MS, progressing to end stage, albeit with a live in caregiver as well as my mom), and my Grandma (blood condition called TTP among other things). To get a contact order, she would have to be able to prove that I was deliberately blocking access, which since she never calls, never visits, never initiates contact, she can't prove it.

My ex. I actually had a conversation with him about what was going on this morning. I very calmly apologised for my family dragging him into this crap yet again. I thanked him for seeing to it that the kids still saw their Grandma every now and then, but said that from now on, I'd prefer it if they didn't. I was calm, sympathetic, non-judgemental, and asked for his point of view of the situation. It worked. He said he didn't realize that any of this was going on (Not exactly true, but I can't fault him for tuning out his ex about stuff he doesn't care about now and then). He has agreed that since he knows it's an issue now, he is going to tell them to work it out with me/hang up on them, if they call him again. Visits to my mom's will stop. So no need to do anything there... as of yet. We'll see what happens.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:15

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Beachcomber posted:

Please consider the following all bolded. Then, take that and add another layer of pretend bold, which I call Super Bold 2.

Me [40F] with my Sisters [42/44F] and Mother [65F], I've cut them out of my life, they want access to my children [11M/9M]

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:27

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Beachcomber posted:

Please consider the following all bolded. Then, take that and add another layer of pretend bold, which I call Super Bold 2.

Me [40F] with my Sisters [42/44F] and Mother [65F], I've cut them out of my life, they want access to my children [11M/9M]

This entire post makes me think of the movie Gummo.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 10:43

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

LabyaMynora posted:

This entire post makes me think of the movie Gummo.

Oh man, I knew my brain was itching. Although now I have to try not to picture the sisters putting tape on their nipples or whatever.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »