/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Beachcomber posted:

My wife is also kind of checked out most of the time as a result of her STEM career and neurological autoimmune disorder and we've settled into a system where I whittle down the decisions to 2-3 options which she can pick from or opt out from there. Sometimes she does choose None of the Above, which can be nice.

what decisions are y'all even talking about? dinner?

# ? Aug 16, 2018 22:17

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# ? May 14, 2024 21:10

Cassius Belli: May 22, 2010; horny is prohibited

Whorelord posted:

"...but by the content of their std test results."

I've heard this called "STD shaming" in all straight-faced seriousness.

To some degree I get it - that information should be private between a person and their sex partners - but the person who brought it up argued that disclosure was a personal judgment call, and a partner should have no grounds to complain if the first person didn't feel comfortable sharing it.

# ? Aug 16, 2018 22:18

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

hawowanlawow posted:

what decisions are y'all even talking about? dinner?

Dinner, should we play a game or watch Netflix or go out tonight, what to watch on Netflix, where should we go, simple stuff. Whether to have sex sometimes. Just incidental everyday stuff. Never whether we should move to Alaska or start swinging or join a cult or anything big. For me anyways. Others might join cults like this for all I know.

Xenocides fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Aug 16, 2018

# ? Aug 16, 2018 22:26

gayest of posters: Aug 5, 2018; by R. Guyovich

Xenocides posted:

We have some winners here:

I self-absorbed emotional parasite that relied entirely on my girlfriend for validation and she was forced to be my only social and emotional crutch for years. She do everything I want when ask but I no do same for her. Why she leave???

It's because his dick was small read between the lines

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:00

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

gayest of posters posted:

It's because his dick was small read between the lines

Tall bod, small rod.

A tragic tale.

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:02

Ytlaya: Nov 13, 2005

Xenocides posted:

"We flirted for a while, things moved on, but I was very cautious, since my last girlfriend left me for another guy, I promised myself I'd never get into a relationship with someone if they don't like me back."

lol, how do you get into a relationship with someone who doesn't like you in the first place

Xenocides posted:

"I started neglecting her (past 2 months). She'd ask me for affection and to call her pretty, and I did, but I wasn't concentrating. She'd text me through the day, and I wouldn't reply. I love this woman. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."

hahahaha this passage

Ytlaya fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Aug 16, 2018

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:08

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

hawowanlawow posted:

my peasant costume doesn't win over the ladies at the renn fair

You need to wear a bigger cod piece.

This...but bigger. Maybe adorn it with a tiny mustache. Or, like, use it as a hanger for those roasted honey almonds the monks sell. We ladies love bags of roasted almonds.

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:35

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

hawowanlawow posted:

what decisions are y'all even talking about? dinner?

Xenocides posted:

Dinner, should we play a game or watch Netflix or go out tonight, what to watch on Netflix, where should we go, simple stuff. Whether to have sex sometimes. Just incidental everyday stuff. Never whether we should move to Alaska or start swinging or join a cult or anything big. For me anyways. Others might join cults like this for all I know.

Basically this, and all vacation planning beyond "Do you want to go here? y/n".

Oh, and she only goes clothes shopping when I do, but that's more of a "hates shopping" thing. Only once in the past 12 years, and that was for a wedding dress.

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:46

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Admiral Ray posted:

Goddamn talk about an attack on you, you cannot let this aggression go unchecked. Inanimate gifts are aggressive enough but a living gift? No. [B]

[quote="Admiral Ray" post="487093316"]Now every day will be filled with the snide yapping of that tiny apple headed freak and the dog she gave you.

This is fantastic. I laughed very loudly at this.

For people who don't know, Taimi:
"Apple-headed" is one of the types of chihuahuas breeders sell. I have no clue if any of the kennel clubs give a poo poo about any of the different head types, but people who want purse dogs apparently care about the distinction since that's where I first heard the term.

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Beachcomber posted:

Basically this, and all vacation planning beyond "Do you want to go here? y/n".

Oh, and she only goes clothes shopping when I do, but that's more of a "hates shopping" thing. Only once in the past 12 years, and that was for a wedding dress.

sounds like my old roommate's iguana

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:50

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Did she have a good honeymoon?

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:58

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Beachcomber posted:

Basically this, and all vacation planning beyond "Do you want to go here? y/n".

Oh, and she only goes clothes shopping when I do, but that's more of a "hates shopping" thing. Only once in the past 12 years, and that was for a wedding dress.

I think it's pretty normal to not always collaborate on inconsequential decisions like dinner or which movie to watch, my wife and I do the same thing. And when neither of you feel like being an adult for the next hour or so then you order takeout.

The relationships OP was obviously just an entitled manchild though, which obviously takes the concept too far. Also lol @ all of the little neglectful things nonchalantly littered in that story

# ? Aug 16, 2018 23:59

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

I think that always needing your partner's collaboration on decisions is as bad as needing them to do or decide everything. The former treats them like a crutch, the latter like a rascal scooter

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:07

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Every full moon, make a very dubious and possibly dangerous decision on impulse without your partner's knowledge. If the outcome is good, congratulate yourself. If it is disastrous, never mention it. If you are found out, dump them for impugning your autonomy.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:22

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [18F] girlfriend said my [19M] features would be more attractive to gay men

quote:

"You're so fuckable, I mean, in a gay man sort of way. Your butt and you're small enough to be flipped over. I mean if everything goes wrong you have that."

Excuse me, what the gently caress?

How do I even respond to this? She said it while i was in my underwear on my bed. Somehow this coming from my girlfriend makes it incredibly hurtful. We talked about it later and she said it was "meant as a compliment". I said I found it insulting that she'd imply I'm not as attractive to the opposite sex as I am to my own. Am I losing my mind?

tldr: gf says if "everything goes wrong" i'd be really attractive to gay men

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:24

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Lol at this dude not picking up what she�s putting down

Edit: I can�t find it easily, did someone tell him that�s straight out of his girlfriend�s spank bank?

andrew smash fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Aug 17, 2018

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:25

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Haifisch posted:

My [18F] girlfriend said my [19M] features would be more attractive to gay men

Is that a roundabout way of asking him if he wants to get pegged?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

andrew smash posted:

Edit: I can�t find it easily, did someone tell him that�s straight out of his girlfriend�s spank bank?

90% of the comments are going "she digs your rear end, moron". The other 10% are going "she shouldn't be making backhanded compliments like that!!!" because this is reddit and they must overreact to everything at all times.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:42

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

And welcome to our new game show: Guess the Fetish. Can you guess the fetish before he reveals it?

quote:

I [25 M] am a pretty stable, interesting, well-put-together guy, and not unattractive, but have a fairly extreme (but harmless) freak flag hidden away. How the hell do I find someone [F] I can share it with? How on earth do I broach the subject?

I'm financially stable; I've been told by multiple people that I'm decently good-looking; I have a variety of interests including computer science, machining, aviation, and creative arts of all kinds; I'm a pretty good conversationalist (most of the time) with no particular trouble talking to women; I fully understand the importance of good communication; and I'm always focused on self-improvement. By all accounts, I should have no trouble entering a relationship.

The trouble is two-fold. One, my standards are fairly high. I do try to make myself the best person I can be, in part because I want a long-term relationship with a woman to match. I want someone who is emotionally stable, not unattractive, intelligent, happy with her life and herself, preferably not interested in kids (possibly negotiable, I think), and enthusiastic about her interests and the interests others share with her. It feels like a lot to ask, but under normal circumstances I think I could accomplish it.

The main problem appears when we combine that with trouble number two: I have an unusual sexual interest that would instantly destroy my job and the vast majority of my relationships were it to come out. Even here, under a throwaway account, I'm scared to reveal it for fear that it would turn most of you away (though I do think I could deal with revealing it to interested parties via PM). It's entirely harmless and rooted in fantasy, but that wouldn't mean much to most people upon finding out--and under no circumstances do I want to be in a long-term relationship in which I have to keep it hidden.

To be clear: I'm happy with who I am, and unashamed of my interest. There's nothing morally wrong with it, I have no intention of turning away from it, and I keep it secret only because most people are not open-minded enough to accept it (understandably so). Only my best friend and one of my siblings know. Both of them are amazing people.

So, how in the name of St Peter's left testicle do I go about finding a woman of standards who either has no problem with this interest or (highly preferably) shares it? The odds of any given person being right for me seem pretty drat low, and it's hard to go for volume (date date date date) when the main hurdle I want to screen for can't be revealed for weeks, probably, under typical circumstances (especially since it would be the ultimate revenge ammo in the event of a breakup, even if I don't intend to give anyone a reason to want revenge).

tl;dr: I carry high standards, and I at least like to think I meet high standards, but I have a (harmless, fantasy-based) sexual interest that, in most people's minds, could curdle milk (I think, here, I can deal with revealing it via PM). It's not the focus of my life, but it is tied to an interest I spend a lot of time on, and I don't want to have to hide it from a significant other. How the hell do I go about finding a (lady) soulmate who I can share it with? Where do I look?

Edit: Since people are bringing up the very good point that it's hard to trust or care about a mysterious and possibly illegal fetish: it's an interest in various nonhuman fantasy species, the most problematic of which includes fictional technicolor ponies. I frequent /r/clopclop, which is a link you shouldn't click if you don't know what you're doing.

Please note that this does not mean I want to screw animals; human-level intelligence and consent are non-negotiable. It's just that I'm attracted to the mind first, and my own brain doesn't really care what physical form a person takes.

Edit2: Given the feedback I've been getting since the first edit, I guess I'm not so bad off as I thought. I sure as hell won't be trumpeting my kinks from the streets, but perhaps I could stand to lighten up and just put myself out there more. Sorry to anyone who clicked the link expecting worse.

And thank you to everyone who's responded, for the advice and encouragement and perspective adjustment. I feel a lot better about all this than I did 3 hours ago. You all are the best.

Welp, they convinced him it is not that bad and released him on the world.

quote:

human-level intelligence and consent are non-negotiable

Good thread title?

Also, an interesting suggestion from the comments from a MissFizzyPants:

quote:

Also consider that you may need/end up with 2 partners to really fulfill you. One for everyday & one for play. So long as everyone knows & consents that can be a great way to make sure you get all of your needs met.

Yes I am sure it will be much easier to find a poly pony porn buddy (next username change thread?) and also a girlfriend who is okay with you having one as opposed to someone who is just okay with your fetish. Good solid advice.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 00:50

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

"SWM seeks not-unattractive female. I am a brony.

PS: I like to clop, hope you like to mop"

There you go, champ.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:00

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

All of your neeeeds. Cause pony stuff is a neeeed.

When do we get to call things unhealthy and backwards and symptoms of illness? A MLP fetish isn't something you are born with and should just live with and embrace. Fix it.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:07

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

What illness would you say it�s a symptom of?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:13

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Borderline ponyality disorder.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:13

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Zeus syndrome

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:21

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Subjunctive posted:

What illness would you say it’s a symptom of?

The medical term I believe is "poo poo for brains"

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:32

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

a complete dipshit posted:

I am 6'4" tall, she was immediately taken.

I feel you bro, I've started carrying a stack of presigned restraining orders. And bear spray.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 01:34

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Everyone hop aboard, the poly train is leaving the station!!!

My girlfriend [23F] and I [26M] of 3 years went open / polygamous for 3 months, and now we're back to monogamy. I need help untangling this mess!

quote:

So my girlfriend and I have been together happily for about 3 years. We started to have some issues and problems in January this year, and after 4 months of detailed communication, we decided that opening our relationship might be a good idea to solve lots of our issues and have some fun.

We both enjoyed seeing other people, but found it a little bit difficult to deal with the jealousy (as you'd expect). However, we were able to talk through most issues and continue like this for 3 months. Our actual relationship with each other improved greatly (more dates, more sex, more communication, more passion, etc.) In this time I went on about 15 dates with other people and had sex 4 times; she went on 9 and had sex 8 times, for context.

The problem for me is that, whilst I'd allow her to do whatever she wanted, she placed lots of restrictions on me (which I was happy to agree to, for the sake of the openness): she had Tinder but I didn't; she could sleep with people in our apartment but I couldn't; she could have sex with people whenever she liked but I could only sleep with someone when she was; etc. I told her that this was a problem for me and she said 'I know I'm being hypocritical, but that's the way I want it so you have to respect that'. The other problem was that we spent about 50% of our time together discussing the open relationship, which I didn't mind, but she got frustrated by that (which led to me getting frustrated). So I decided to call off the open relationship and go back to monogamy.

My first question(s) is: Was she being unreasonable with the arrangement? Do you think we could go back to being open later on? Do either of us even want to be monogamous, or is this enough of a reason to break up?

Now that we are monogamous, she wants to continue to be friends with one of the guys she was seeing. Whilst I'm not inherently jealous of him, I am concerned that she has more feeling for him than she is letting on. She has done the following: text him every day; when I said 'let's be monogamous', the first thing she said was 'can I still be friends with X?'; when I asked 'do you worry about falling in love with X?', she said 'not really'. She wants to see him this weekend but 'nothing will happen'.

My second question is: Am I within my rights to stop her from seeing X? Or is that just being petty?

Anyway, that's all for now. I kind of wrote this in a rush, so I'm happy to elaborate on anything that will help you answer... I just don't have anyone impartial to bounce my thoughts off of!

Thanks!

TL;DR Not sure if I'm overreacting to my girlfriend's behaviour around our open relationship...

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:00

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Mordiceius posted:

Everyone hop aboard, the poly train is leaving the station!!!

My girlfriend [23F] and I [26M] of 3 years went open / polygamous for 3 months, and now we're back to monogamy. I need help untangling this mess!

Break up with her

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:02

Barudak: May 7, 2007

While normally Id mock you for being so close to seeing that you are a complete milksop, you wrote �whilst� so I rule completely in favor of the woman.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:07

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Blade Runner posted:

Break up with her

I never loving understand this. �I want it this way so you have to respect it!�

No I don�t! I�m breaking up with you! Goodbye!

What makes people put up with this??

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:11

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Barudak posted:

�whilst�

My fiancee [24F] and I [27M] have been together for two years and finding it hard to maintain own motivation and goals whilst around her.

quote:

My fiancee and I have been together for two years. When we first met I was at a healthy BMI, working towards my creative goals daily, regularly went out and had been vegetarian for six years.

Over time I've gradually begun to pick up some bad habits living with her. She prefers to stay up late, eat junk food, smokes, watch TV and gave up early on in our relationship to be vegan. I've gained 30kg in the past two years, stopped practicing my creative pursuits almost entirely, stay up very late at the expense of sleep, started smoking, stopped going out as much and have gone from never eating meat in six years to eating fast food on a daily basis.

I love her very much, and she is one of the most brilliant people I've ever met; and yet I can't seem to avoid slipping into these habits when I'm around her. I don't blame her, because it's not her responsibility how I act. I just find it incredibly difficult to maintain my own motivation and habits when around her.

TL;DR Fiancee doesn't want to exercise, eat good, or go out and do new things. This has affected my own motivation. Has anybody else dealt with this in a relationship? How have you handled it?

I [22M] have fallen for my best friend [22F] whilst in a relationship with long term gf [21F]

quote:

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 4 years, whilst the relationship has not been perfect it is still strong, I care about her deeply and do not particularly want it to end. However, recently I have started to develop feelings for my best friend (who also has a long term boyfriend), who I am now beginning to think has similar feelings. I would never have predicted this happening and it is only recently that I have begun to see this as a potential issue. Me and my friend regularly sleep in the same bed alone, she jokes about us getting married to others, yet still remains committed to her boyfriend. I am at the point where I am not really sure what to do, as I predict that if she ever does come on to me, I would not reject her advances.

Any advice on the situation would be much appreciated.

TL;DR: Fallen for best friend whilst in long term relationship

[ADVICE] I met a girl [F18] whilst I [M18] was in a relationship with someone else [F19]

quote:

Hi everyone, not sure if this is the right place to post this but gonna go for it anyway.

I met a girl in London on a trip with my college a year or two back. At the time I already had a girlfriend. It was really strange because the girl I met in London I actually ended up liking more than my girlfriend (of 1 year) in the space of around 2 days of spending time with her.

We left and I got her contact details - I never at any moment cheated on my girlfriend, but I can't say I didn't flirt.

Weeks passed by and we used to talk a lot, usually late on into the night. One day the girl I met in London asked me if I had a girlfriend. I panicked of course and said no. She immediately replied with my girlfriends name. Not knowing what to do and letting the moment take me I blocked her, on every form of communication, just so I could figure out what to do.

After lying in bed with various thought running through my head I decided to stop talking to her. As it was kind of a realisation that what I was doing was wrong.

6 months later I broke up with my girlfriend for other reasons.

Recently I was on Facebook messenger and I discovered message requests, (for anyone who doesn't know if you don't have someone as a friend you will receive a message request from them, rather than the actual message). One was from the original girl, so I accepted it out of pure curiosity to see what she had said after I blocked her. As you can guess it was pretty abusive.

But by accepting that request it actually sent her a notification telling her I had done so. She replied almost instantly, angry of course, but within around 4 messages she was fine again, and just agreed it was nice to be speaking again. This was really strange yet kind of nice at the same time. I never thought we'd speak again.

We've been speaking for a few weeks and planning to meet at some point, until the other night she told me she actually has a boyfriend and its not fair that we are speaking. I didn't take this to heart and told her its not a problem (although inside it killed me to be quite honest).

Almost every weekend now she calls me late at night, or texts me and we speak for hours on the phone. She tells me she misses me etc. I'm not sure what to do, Should I block her out of my life completely? Should I tell her boyfriend? HELP ME REDDIT

TL;DR

Met a girl in London. I had a girlfriend, we chatted. Fell out with the girl I met in London. Broke up with my girlfriend. 1 Year later or so I start speaking to London girl again. Find out she has a boyfriend. She tells me she misses me etc. What should I do?

Whilst-users confirmed terrible.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:13

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

areyoucontagious posted:

I never loving understand this. “I want it this way so you have to respect it!”

No I don’t! I’m breaking up with you! Goodbye!

What makes people put up with this??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:21

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Haifisch posted:

My fiancee [24F] and I [27M] have been together for two years and finding it hard to maintain own motivation and goals whilst around her.

LMAO sure blame her for being a fat lazy slob for two years.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:21

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

My (24F) husband (25M) got very upset with my best friend because of her lifestyle

quote:

Possibly NSFW.

My husband and I are on summer vacation in my home town and so is my best friend from 1st grade. We�ve been very close growing up and she is literally like a sister but we went to different colleges on different continents so we only kept in touch via emails. Well, now we are both here for a while so we�re hanging out, catching up, you know. My husband had a great initial impression on her and they got along just fine. However, everything started going downhill when my friend shared some things about her personal life. As a side note, we were kinda �wild� when we were 16 to 20 (partying but never drugs) but I met my husband at 20 so I settled down. Well, my friend didn�t.

As the conversation went on, she told us all kinds of funny and crazy stories, among which some hookups she had with all kinds of guys. We were laughing and having fun until she mentioned she took a guy�s virginity and dumped him afterwards. She went on saying that this guy was �waaaay too hot to be a virgin� and she didn�t care about his feelings. This hit a nerve with my husband because he was a virgin when we met and was never into hookups and meaningless relationships. He is also an attractive man who would never pass as a virgin until the age of 21. The other issue is that I did the same exact thing to another guy years ago and my husband doesn�t know. I slept with a guy just because I wanted to bang a virgin and left him afterwards. I never told my husband because I didn�t think he should know since it had happened years before we met.

When we got home, my husband expressed his disgust with what my friend is doing and how he doesn�t want to be around her anymore. The issue is, we have another month to stay here and I cannot just avoid her. I also can�t just leave my husband alone af home while I hang out with her. How can I solve this?

TL;DR: my husband is upset with a friend of mine for something I did as well

So your real problem is that you and your friends were both shits and you're afraid your husband will find out. Sucks to be you! :wave:

TheScott2K posted:

Also, add this poo poo to poly.txt

Edit:
https://twitter.com/polynerdeia/status/1028297343504998400?s=19

narcissists

Absurd Alhazred fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Aug 17, 2018

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:40

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

TheScott2K posted:

You do not surprise someone with a ten-year-us commitment as a "gift" Jesus Christ

Ten years? Try 20. Chihuahuas live a very long time. I have an almost 18 year old chihuahua sitting in my lap right now. His son is pushing 16. Mom lived to be 19.

When people see my new puppy and squee about how much they want one I make sure to stress that it very well could be a two decade commitment to the biggest rear end in a top hat dog on the planet.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:51

forbidden dialectics: Jul 26, 2005

christ I feel bad for this guy. No idea how one becomes this cucked, this is some :smith:

poo poo for sure

I [31M] just found out my wife [29F] of 7 years spent half our relationship webcamming stripteases

quote:

To say the least, we've had a troubled, painful relationship. To keep things short, my wife had a 2-month long affair with another man in 2014. We attended marriage counseling for almost 2 years and since that point, we've been doing really well. I think most people would consider infidelity a deal-breaker; but, I'm not perfect, people make mistakes, and I wasn't willing to throw away the life we had built together over a temporary setback. As far as I know, she has been completely faithful since.

Until yesterday, I just assumed that her affair was a one-off thing and not a pattern of behavior. Until I discovered a treasure trove of chatlogs and pictures on an old laptop I was looking to re-format and re-purpose.

Again, to keep it brief, for at least the first 3 years of our relationship, which started in 2009, she had carried on emotional relationships with at least 3 other guys. Most of it included sexual flirting, sharing of fantasies, and a lot of web-camming involving taking her clothes off and dancing for these guys. Several of them had commented on outfits they particularly enjoyed, etc. From what I can tell, she only met one of these guys in person (despite repeatedly attempting to meet with all of them), and while the logs show that they only "kissed", I am 90% sure they had sex.

The chatlog trail dries up around 2011 since the world stopped using AIM, Yahoo Chat, and MSN messenger - so I don't have any direct evidence. But I have no reason now to doubt that the behavior continued well into 2014 before everything blew up with her affair.

On one hand, this all seems like it's in the past, and dredging it up will only be a painful, futile exercise since it can't be undone and it was at least 4-5 years ago. On the other, I think I have a right to be upset about this - had I known about this behvior, would I have stuck around after her affair? I honesetly feel regret for not leaving her. Not to mention that during the whole time the webcamming stuff was going on, I would constantly ask her to do the same thing with me. Occationally she would send sexy photos, but now I'm pretty sure they were intended for other guys, and it was just convenient to send them to me. We had a major dead bedroom situation during this period, and it's now clear that she was seeking sexual gratificaiton outside of our relationship. Again, had I known all of this, the course of my life could have been very different.

Do I bring it up? What good would it do? Taken in a vacuum, the past 4 years have actually been really good. We have similar life goals, interests, financial success. Is it worth throwing all of that away because of something that happened so long ago?

Tl;dr: Wife's infidelity not a one-time thing, and shows a pattern of disrespect. Do I end my now stable, healthy relationship over events that happened years ago?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 02:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

A partner cheating on you is not a �lets go to counseling� moment unless thats the name of the judge overseeing your divorce

# ? Aug 17, 2018 03:06

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

Barudak posted:

A partner cheating on you is not a �lets go to counseling� moment unless thats the name of the judge overseeing your divorce

what if it's Judge Compersion? Do you just give up on life

# ? Aug 17, 2018 03:11

forbidden dialectics: Jul 26, 2005

Barudak posted:

A partner cheating on you is not a �lets go to counseling� moment unless thats the name of the judge overseeing your divorce

People gently caress up, but a 2 month affair is a pretty big goddamn stretch as far as "mistakes" go :shrug:

. Not to mention that if you do the math she has literally been unfaithful for longer than she has been "faithful". RIP

# ? Aug 17, 2018 03:15

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# ? May 14, 2024 21:10

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Odd posted:

what if it's Judge Compersion? Do you just give up on life

They will accept and be happy for any change of venue you request

# ? Aug 17, 2018 03:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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