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ArbitraryC posted:I mean he could be lying but this sounds like a p solid opportunity to mention you have a medical issue that could cause complications with pregnancy. Sounds like she just left him hanging. Nothing he said indicates that his wife definitively has PCOS.
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Aug 25, 2018 22:27
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If she legitimately left him hanging on the 'I feel like it's my fault' issue that's lovely but my assumption is that this is how he feels now that's he's considering the possibility of PCOS (which might not even be true). But when I'm talking about internalized issues I'm talking about how he felt like he was 'failing as a man' every time she had her period. Even the most fertile couples aren't going to be constantly getting pregnant, and while I understand why people want biokids I think the framing of a person's worth in how well their genitals work is extremely toxic and damaging, regardless of if it's focused on someone's womb or their sperm. If he was legit having these mental drops every time she got her period and then framing it as something that reflects his worth as a man, I think that's more than just disappointment over not being able to start your family yet and tied up in toxic cultural roles, and that for his own mental health he might want to see someone about that or figure out a way to work through that.
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Aug 25, 2018 22:33
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Why would he even assume it was his fault she had a miscarriage in the first place? He doesn't really talk about that. That and some other details also make me think this dude has some internalized issues, pretty much what Petra is saying.
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Aug 25, 2018 22:36
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Like god a miscarriage at 7 months sounds horrifying. Like especially if you're the one passing it but I'm sure it's no emotional picnic for the father, either.
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Aug 25, 2018 22:40
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PetraCore posted:Like god a miscarriage at 7 months sounds horrifying. Like especially if you're the one passing it but I'm sure it's no emotional picnic for the father, either. to quote the great tim buckley, "miscarriages are often harder on the woman than the man"
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Aug 25, 2018 22:51
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I'm still working my way through the wedding rant thing on Twitter (had to take a break at the sentence "only asked each guest for around $1,500" because jesus gently caress) but I wanted to add thisScathach posted:Who cares? Adopt a kid. Foster some kids. Have a fulfilling life without having kids around. Your stupid genetics probably suck anyway. This is the stupidest beep-boop-silly-illogical-emotional-humans bullshit on earth I want you to find someone who just had a miscarriage and tell them this and see what happens
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Aug 25, 2018 22:53
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Xenocides posted:We need content stat before we drown in a vegetable bloodbath. if you look at her profile it’s  all the way down. She’s a single mom trapped in a lovely job who had to drop out of college to raise her kid and could never go back, she is disgusted by her own body and everyone else’s, and she says she’d like to end the world if she could.
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Aug 25, 2018 22:55
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PetraCore posted:Like god a miscarriage at 7 months sounds horrifying. Like especially if you're the one passing it but I'm sure it's no emotional picnic for the father, either. From what I remember from my OBGYN rotation, spontaneous abortion can result in retained products of conception which can be life-threatening. This requires dilatation and curettage, which involves scraping the uterus with what amounts to a potato peeler designed to scoop the endometrium. Women definitely get the raw side of the deal, much worse than men, as usual. I don't really have a lot of pity for that psycho tbh.
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Aug 25, 2018 22:56
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loquacius posted:I'm still working my way through the wedding rant thing on Twitter (had to take a break at the sentence "only asked each guest for around $1,500" because jesus gently caress) but I wanted to add this I meant if he's that mean to be angrily blaming it on his wife and not getting help for his obvious issues, he's probably not a great person at the moment. Dude needs help, not kids. Therefore I'm insulting his genetics because he's acting like a poo poo person. His wife just went through a total body horror and now he's blaming it on her without any proof. Scathach fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Aug 25, 2018 |
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Aug 25, 2018 23:12
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Scathach posted:I meant if he's that mean to be angrily blaming it on his wife and not getting help for his obvious issues, he's probably not a great person at the moment. Dude needs help, not kids. I mean, that's all true but I don't really know how it translates into "lol that you're mad about not being able to have kids, just don't have kids, it's easy and I do it all the time"
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Aug 25, 2018 23:16
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So is the idea that the friend just made up pcos?
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Aug 25, 2018 23:17
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ArbitraryC posted:So is the idea that the friend just made up pcos?
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Aug 25, 2018 23:19
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ArbitraryC posted:So is the idea that the friend just made up pcos? Honestly yeah it seems pretty likely. It's his friend, not hers, and the context in which this came up was as follows quote:Apparently, my buddy who works with her decided to create an account so he could annoy the hell out of me 24/7. He mentions something about it being difficult for us to conceive because of PCOS. I ask him what that means, but he goes silent. I'd rate it as fairly certain that OP is kinda rushing to judgment here. He's emotional about the miscarriage, whatever, his wife absolutely is even more so and he's letting some douchebag friend of his make him take it out on her
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Aug 25, 2018 23:19
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Scathach posted:Honestly $15K for a wedding seems like a huge, stupid amount, especially if that's your entire life savings in one go. If they went the DIY way they could have probably had an amazingly stellar wedding for $10K and had $5K for a nice honeymoon. $60k. Not $15k.
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Aug 25, 2018 23:20
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ArbitraryC posted:So is the idea that the friend just made up pcos? Dude got a text from some guy who per the op wanted to "annoy the hell out of me 24/7" that suggests she has PCOS, and nothing more. It's far from impossible that it's true and his wife has PCOS, in which case the adult response would be to ask her from a place of deep sympathy (it's his loving wife for chrissakes) if she has PCOS and, if so, why she hid this from him. Explosive anger being the ridiculous, childish, selfish response.
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Aug 25, 2018 23:21
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Kommienzuspadt posted:From what I remember from my OBGYN rotation, spontaneous abortion can result in retained products of conception which can be life-threatening. This requires dilatation and curettage, which involves scraping the uterus with what amounts to a potato peeler designed to scoop the endometrium.
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Aug 25, 2018 23:22
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blugu64 posted:$60k. Not $15k. first big body-blow of the story was the sentence where they chose the $60K wedding over the $15K one: quote:A local psychic told us to go with the more expensive option, and we thought why the hell not?  had to take a break after this one too
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Aug 25, 2018 23:22
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blugu64 posted:$60k. Not $15k. I was thinking the part they'd already saved up. Like, they could do 100% of a wedding without help. E: God, 60K is an entire house in some places. Or a down payment and two new cars. Like if she lives in Bumfucknowhereistan they'd probably be set.
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Aug 25, 2018 23:23
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If marriage is a business these two people were unprofitable divisions that got spun off together and merged to try to avoid delisting from the stock market
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Aug 25, 2018 23:35
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But also, like, even if she has PCOS, she also already has a kid! A bio kid! So clearly she isn't incapable of carrying to term. I mean she shoulda mentioned it (if it's even true), but if it didn't make a difference last time, she probably isn't even considering it the issue this time.
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Aug 25, 2018 23:42
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i like nice words
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Thanks for posting those screenshots/ Also... declyn is her kids name? Weird word, no capitalization?
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Aug 25, 2018 23:52
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You could say that good baby names are...declining. 
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Aug 25, 2018 23:55
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burial posted:Original story: Wow if someone told me that in order to attend their wedding I'd need to commit to a minimum of $1,500/ guest, I'd tape it back up write return to sender on it and completely ignore their existence on this Earth, this includes either of my brothers. "I want a 60k wedding so all you guests will pay for it kuz a psychic said we should pick the more expensive venue"
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Aug 26, 2018 00:09
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Thats what happens when you invite only 40 people to your wedding. Invite 400 and suddenly its a less insane 150 a head.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:13
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tater_salad posted:Wow if someone told me that in order to attend their wedding I'd need to commit to a minimum of $1,500/ guest, I'd tape it back up write return to sender on it and completely ignore their existence on this Earth, this includes either of my brothers. It really is beautiful. I mean, I’m a filthy poor, but I’ve skipped far away weddings just because I couldn’t afford to take time off + the cost of travel. If there was a $1500 price tag ON TOP of that, I think anything less than laughing and/or spitting in the person’s face would be charitable.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:14
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I'm not a three olives but I make enough to be comfortable and after rebuilding after a recent move I COULD afford to do something as dumb as a 1500 wedding gift but no loving way especially if it was a demand 'pay $1500 or don't attend'
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Aug 26, 2018 00:18
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I could afford a 1500 wedding gift. How you ask? by not being dumb enough to do poo poo like 1500 wedding gifts.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:25
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Also she's got a kid but she's going to spend 2 months without him backpacking to 'find himself' while sulking over capitalism.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:28
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I’ve given bigger wedding gifts than that, but I wouldn’t even have acknowledged receipt of that invitation. Amazing.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:29
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Can my parents force a paternity test? My wife was sexually assaulted. She got pregnant, and the baby could be mine or the rapist's. We decided to keep the baby and raise it as mine. We never want to have a paternity test done on the baby because this could be devastating to her relationship with my wife. I'm a massive moron, and after my daughter was born, I let slip to my parents that she might not be mine biologically. I tried to backtrack, but my parents kept pushing and pushing until my wife sat them down and explained the situation. They do not believe her. They think she cheated and that she is using me. Now my parents have approached me about taking a paternity test. They want me to contest paternity and leave my wife. I do not want to. I made a commitment to my wife and daughter and I stand by it. I trust my wife, but my parents don't. They told me that if I refuse, they will go to court and compel me to do a paternity test to absolve me of responsibility for the baby. They want me to leave my wife regardless. I am planning to cut contact with my parents over this, but is there any way that they can legitimately force me to do a paternity test? Is there something I can do to prevent this or fight them? We are located in RI. Can my parents force a paternity test UPDATE I'd like to take a minute to say thank you to everyone who responded to my last post. Your advice helped prepare me for what came next. Pretty soon after I posted, I received a letter in the mail from a lawyer that basically said that my parents were demanding a paternity test on the basis of grandparents rights. I knew from my post that it was unlikely that a lawyer would take this case, so I googled the law firm and lawyer's name. I couldn't find the lawyer's name anywhere, but the law firm was real so I reached out to them. The letter was fake and the law firm was not happy. They asked for the letter and are pursuing some sort of legal action against my parents. I don't know exactly what's happening as I have not been in contact with my parents in a while. In other news, my daughter was recently diagnosed with a (very minor) skin condition that is fairly uncommon and that I also have, which means she's most likely mine after all. We still won't be doing a paternity test any time soon, but it was helpful for our peace of mind. Thanks again for the advice everyone! 9/10, anyone talking about grandparents rights is loving insane
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Aug 26, 2018 00:38
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Doctor: Your child has sickle cell anemia OP: Oh, thank God! That's a relief
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Aug 26, 2018 00:45
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[F22] I unfriended my landlord on Facebook and he [M30s] freaked out. I rent a room in a house in which the landlord (the homeowner) and also his wife live on the premesis. I'm 22 year old female graduate student and he's a late 20s or early 30s graduate student. He also has one other tenant on the property. I think the landlord is creepy and I don't like him. For example, I did three loads of laundry in one day and he confronted me about it and informed me I didn't know how to use the machine properly. I do indeed know how to use the machine, but I wash towels, delicates, and casual clothes separately. He works from home and never leaves so I often feel like he keeps an eye on my every move. He also texted my mother last weekend asking her for her email address... I find that ridiculous since he has her phone number for emergencies only and there is never a situation in which he should be emailing her! He also has a lot of rules that apply to me as a tenant but don't apply to him, such as if I have a guest over I'm expected to let him know in advance, but he's had guests over without ever telling me. He also told me I can't open the windows in my bedroom, that I can't have a desk plant, etc.(These rules are not in the lease, but I follow them.) He had also asked me questions to the effect of "Is your department obsessed with women and affirmative action?" And "do you attend church just to please your boyfriend?". I find the former question quite offensive because we're both in highly male-dominated fields and I felt like he was suggesting that I didn't deserve the position I earned. The latter question I think is ridiculous because if you formulated that as a statement it would be clearly offensive. I was friends with him on Facebook but due to him contacting my mother and other offenses, I decided to unfriended him. Around a week later, he friended me again so I blocked him on Facebook. Ten minutes later after blocking, he texts me "Did you block me on facebook? I would like to have a good relationship since we will be living together for a year." And I said "Sorry but I don't consider having my landlord as a friend on Facebook a requirement to having a good relationship." He responded with "Well, we were facebook friends and now we're not, so that's obviously a problem! I hope we can resolve it." I think this is bizarre since he would have only known that I blocked him if he went searching for my FB profile. I rarely post on Facebook so it's not like he would notice that he stopped seeing my posts. Personally, if someone unfriended me on Facebook I would probably not notice unless they were someone I speak to daily on Facebook messenger. How should I handle this? I just want to be left alone in peace. I live in Tennessee if that matters. tl;dr: I unfriended my landlord that lives on the premises and he freaked out. I think he's obsessed with knowing everything I do because I live in his house. Top Comment: Find a new place before you're turned into a lampshade.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:54
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What are the chances her desk is at the window and a plant would block him from peeping?
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Aug 26, 2018 01:13
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Bored posted:This is amazing. "Over several years, we managed to save up 15k. You assholes can't even just randomly drop 1.5k as a wedding gift? gently caress all y'all!" Only 39% of Americans have enough savings to cover a $1500 (wedding) emergency.
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Aug 26, 2018 01:14
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Cat Army
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dudeness posted:Only 39% of Americans have enough savings to cover a $1500 (wedding) emergency. 1% of that subgroup would attend a wedding like this.
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Aug 26, 2018 01:22
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I joined the Facebook group that Twitter person hinted at. Most of it’s pretty mundane, but me oh my -   Why some women saddle themselves with loving troglodytes will always mystify me Depressio111117 fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Aug 26, 2018 |
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Aug 26, 2018 02:15
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Women are taught the stupidest poo poo possible about relationships and yet we as a society have agreed we will all act confused when some of them actually do the stupid poo poo they got taught.
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Aug 26, 2018 02:21
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Depressio111117 posted:Why some women saddle themselves with loving troglodytes will always mystify me in my 31 years of life, my choices appear to be "have standards & never ever get laid again" or "don't have standards". thank loving christ i don't want any kids
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Aug 26, 2018 02:26
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YeahTubaMike posted:in my 31 years of life, my choices appear to be "have standards & never ever get laid again" or "don't have standards". thank loving christ i don't want any kids
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Aug 26, 2018 02:44
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I thank God every day that I was able to trick a stable and normal dude into living with me. One day he’ll get wise. Or it’ll turn out that he’s just been pretending to have a job this entire time and he’s $100k in debt.
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Aug 26, 2018 03:14
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