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a tradition that's literally "go hang out with my friends, like we do all the time"
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Sep 26, 2018 04:41
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i think of myself as kind of a pushover but christ, how is bailing on your mom's funeral to dick around and smoke weed not an immediate break-up for anyone with half a spine
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Sep 26, 2018 04:43
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ArbitraryC posted:I mean it's a "dumb" reason but it's kind of a valid result. Dude is being judged because he's forgoing an important event that could have been scheduled on plenty of other days in favor of smoking the demon weed with his friends, but obviously that's not the whole point. It's an annual reunion that they've maintained for a decade, that's like longer than most relationships last and once people start bailing on it because there's other more important is when it dies. The background on why that day is important to them is admittedly juvenile but that they've carried it so far is kinda something I feel like it would be a big ask to give up. Except the OP isn't you. She explicitly and repeatedly said that she needed the support for something that most people would need support for and he put his need to get high with his idiot friends over it. Holy poo poo at all you goony fucks saying that it's okay that he wouldn't go to her mother's funeral with her over a fun tradition that they could literally do any other day.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:47
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Brother Entropy posted:boo-loving-hoo, some dumbass tradition they started when they were 17 might die out as they become adults with lives and more important priorities I personally just don't super see the necessity if the partner is already helping you out in other ways, if I were in the OP's spot (and I have lost a parent before), to me the specific day of the funeral wouldn't be a big thing it'd be the overall support structure. If they had something significant going on and I was somehow completely unable to plan the date around that, it wouldn't be a huge deal so long as the support was there. Like yeah that particular reason sounds dumb but if it were an important work event or such it'd be the same result.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:47
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ArbitraryC posted:I mean it's a "dumb" reason but it's kind of a valid result. Dude is being judged because he's forgoing an important event that could have been scheduled on plenty of other days in favor of smoking the demon weed with his friends, but obviously that's not the whole point. It's an annual reunion that they've maintained for a decade, that's like longer than most relationships last and once people start bailing on it because there's other more important is when it dies. The background on why that day is important to them is admittedly juvenile but that they've carried it so far is kinda something I feel like it would be a big ask to give up. The context is that he went to get high instead of supporting his girlfriend of four years what the gently caress is wrong with you people Jesus Christ
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Sep 26, 2018 04:48
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some folks are just gonna never stop talking about their rationalizations for why they should never have to do anything they don't feel like doing, simply because it'd make someone else's life better, and you don't hang around those people, and that's just the way it is.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:50
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aw hell, i got baited into replying to dumbass contrarian ArbitraryC new avs always throw me off
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Sep 26, 2018 04:51
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Serene Dragon posted:Except the OP isn't you. She explicitly and repeatedly said that she needed the support for something that most people would need support for and he put his need to get high with his idiot friends over it. Holy poo poo at all you goony fucks saying that it's okay that he wouldn't go to her mother's funeral with her over a fun tradition that they could literally do any other day. Dead parents stay dead regardless of what you do, you can't bring em back and one day isn't gonna make or break how you process it. If he's unhelpful in general then sure he' a lovely SO, but if he has been supportive then I think him saying he wasn't available on that day for a 10 year year event with his friends is reasonable.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:52
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If they stay together (which I wouldn’t but it’s so not my call) at least the girl’s boyfriend can celebrate the anniversaries of in-school suspension and her mother’s burial at the same time in subsequent years.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:52
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Brother Entropy posted:aw hell, i got baited into replying to dumbass contrarian ArbitraryC we've all been there, friend
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Sep 26, 2018 04:55
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ArbitraryC posted:Dead parents stay dead regardless of what you do, you can't bring em back and one day isn't gonna make or break how you process it. If he's unhelpful in general then sure he' a lovely SO, but if he has been supportive then I think him saying he wasn't available on that day for a 10 year year event with his friends is reasonable. It's not even close to reasonable. I can think of literally nothing that would be now important than going to a funeral with my fiance. Because I'm not a narcissistic sociopath.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:56
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Here's a tradition that's lasted a lot longer than 10 years: when someone important to you or your loved ones dies, you go to their loving funeral
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Sep 26, 2018 04:56
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Brother Entropy posted:i think of myself as kind of a pushover but christ, how is bailing on your mom's funeral to dick around and smoke weed not an immediate break-up for anyone with half a spine Shoulda just gone and brought his DS in my opinion
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Sep 26, 2018 04:57
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The OP specifically requested his support at the funeral. I've luckily never had to go to a funeral but that's not something you can just lightly blow off if your partner really needs your support, even if it's not pleasant. Now people deal with death and grief in various ways and some people may not need/may not have needed a partner to be directly at a funeral, but this girl did. Like, the only exception in this case I could sort of think of is if they took a trip somewhere specific every year and all the plane tickets etc had been bought already, but these guys see each other fairly regularly apparently so it's not like some grand get-together where they see each other once a year. Honestly even then, funerals are something you tend to cancel other plans for.
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Sep 26, 2018 04:59
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I can't imagine say, missing my best friend's mom's funeral for a ten year wedding anniversary, much less the anniversary of the time I was moron in highschool with a bunch of people I get high with all the time
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Sep 26, 2018 05:00
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rabble rabble rabble
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Sep 26, 2018 05:05
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this is all viral advertising for the Blu-ray release of the movie Tag
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Sep 26, 2018 05:05
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His friendships are clearly gonna last longer than this relationship so it was prolly the right call :V
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Sep 26, 2018 05:09
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Clocks posted:
So if they had more money and planned more expensive trips for this reunion it would be more important?
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Sep 26, 2018 05:12
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"My girlfriend's Mom just died and she wants me at the funeral" is like twice as much of a reason as you need to skip many an anniversary. I can see it being awkward if it's the wedding anniversary, but, well, you've dug your own grave, now lie in it, polybro.
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Sep 26, 2018 05:20
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I (35F) told my fiancé (50M) that I wasn’t sure he is a good person. Now he’s moping and stomping around the house for the past 24 hours because “this is how terrible people act.”quote:*long! 
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Sep 26, 2018 05:27
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La Brea Carpet posted:I (35F) told my fiancé (50M) that I wasn’t sure he is a good person. Now he’s moping and stomping around the house for the past 24 hours because “this is how terrible people act.” yikes
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Sep 26, 2018 05:29
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Gibbon posted:I had a Persian gf who moved to aus as a skilled migrant and was working as a senior dev and could speak English well, all my old friends met her at a lunch then just stuck with in jokes and cultural references she had no chance of understanding and didn't talk to her at all, no matter how many times I tried to start a conversation on common topics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHQRZXM-4xI&t=73s
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Sep 26, 2018 05:29
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La Brea Carpet posted:I (35F) told my fiancé (50M) that I wasn’t sure he is a good person. Now he’s moping and stomping around the house for the past 24 hours because “this is how terrible people act.” Oh, honey. He's not recovering. He's just trying to find ways to make it your fault.
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Sep 26, 2018 05:29
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Dear Reddit, This person I'm dating has literally no redeeming qualities. What do I doooooo
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Sep 26, 2018 05:31
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Turtlicious posted:I'm pretty sure everyone's obsession from their parents comes from our biological need to be loved by our parents, not one borne out of like... An actual relationship. im so sorry. i'll hug you, if you want. it can be the first step towards healing
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Sep 26, 2018 05:33
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Turtlicious posted:I'm pretty sure everyone's obsession from their parents comes from our biological need to be loved by our parents, not one borne out of like... An actual relationship. Honeypot thread sucessful, wrap it up lads
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Sep 26, 2018 05:38
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Brother Entropy posted:boo-loving-hoo, some dumbass tradition they started when they were 17 might die out as they become adults with lives and more important priorities Too late, it's been going on for more than 7 years. If they change it now they'll be forfeiting a point of the Clan's magic every year.
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Sep 26, 2018 05:50
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My (29M) good friend / fuckbuddy (26M) photoshops himself onto female sex dolls and masturbates to them. I think this is cheating. What should I do? u/peepeepoopoopy quote:It all started when he became fascinated with this sex doll brothel in Amsterdam - I think he read about it on /r/all. Anyway, he wouldn't stop looking it up and reading about it and he found this youtube channel where they review sex dolls. Umm. What?
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Sep 26, 2018 06:25
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burial posted:My (29M) good friend / fuckbuddy (26M) photoshops himself onto female sex dolls and masturbates to them. I think this is cheating. What should I do? My best guess is that they're trans and in deep denial.
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Sep 26, 2018 06:30
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burial posted:My (29M) good friend / fuckbuddy (26M) photoshops himself onto female sex dolls and masturbates to them. I think this is cheating. What should I do? So besides the narcissistic doll loving, they are just a gently caress buddy, not really something I see as a lending itself to being labeled as infidelity.
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Sep 26, 2018 06:34
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This is a very pro click
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Sep 26, 2018 06:36
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My[32M] girlfriend [33F] wants to get a tattoo with a guy she barely knows. So my girlfriend went on a trip to Montana, with a couple and another dude. (I wasn’t invited, but that’s a story for another post). Today she asked me if I would ever get a tattoo with a female friend of mine. I told her with a friend no, but with a girlfriend/ or special other yes. She said that her and the other dude were talking about getting a tattoo to remind them of trip. It kinda bothered me that she would be thinking of getting a tattoo with a guy she barely knows, because I’ve been trying to convince her to get one with me for about 3 yrs. She always told me that she was afraid of needles. Now relationship gurus, I need your advice. Am I in the wrong, or is she? edit: Going to keep it short. She got breast cancer two years ago. I stood by her all this time. The following year had some family problems and decided to get rid of all methods of communication(This was in 2017). She ghosted everyone. We stopped seeing each other for like a 5-6 months. The last time I saw her was last year around July, but we kept talking here and there. Later this year I found out she was hanging out with a "dude" friend of hers from work who was married and with a kid . He helped her through the family issues(I'm annoyed that she went to him instead of me for help) by letting her stay at his house. He knew about me and had my number. Well they invited her to Montana to help her "chill out" and didn't call me but invited a friend (the other guy) to the trip.. She swears there's nothing going on. I really trust her, but ill be honest. It is loving killing me. So yea... my bad for typos. Doing this while working. tl;dr My girlfriend wants to get a tattoo with a guy she just met.
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Sep 26, 2018 06:50
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Araenna posted:My best guess is that they're trans and in deep denial. I wondered about that, but the act itself is bizarre as gently caress either way. And yeah, like Zil said, I was unaware FWBs could cheat. I mean, I’ve never had one so it’s possible this is just one more thing I don’t understand. The little detail about how the print-outs bend and warp around the face of the sex doll has to be the squickiest part of the post. So very creepy to imagine.
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Sep 26, 2018 06:52
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Yeah just a casual fwb who I hang out with all the time and go on dates with and integrate into my life and have an emotional connection with and who knows all my friends and who I talk to every day, yup just keeping it easy breezy casual with my fukcbuddy. Ps I’m 19 and he’s 47. - r/r
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Sep 26, 2018 07:27
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I (35F) told my fiancé (50M) that I wasn’t sure he is a good person. Now he’s moping and stomping around the house for the past 24 hours because “this is how terrible people act.” *long! So I kinda just blurted it out last night. “I’m just not sure that you’re a good person.” It really is a terrible thing to say, and I don’t blame him for being mad and hurt. Backstory: I’ve been with Jim for 5 years next month. We met at the bar I used to work at. He was a musician whose band played a few shows there, and he was also a semi-regular. I was attracted to his wit, sense of humor, his laugh. He had a great job and a great group of friends. Our social circles overlapped. I had always known Jim as a social drinker, and early on in our relationship I learned that he used cocaine quite frequently. Prior to dating Jim I had only encountered coke a couple times. I guess my first mistake was taking all of this drinking and drugging as “normal” behavior, and pretty soon I started using with him a couple times a week. I had bigger dreams though, and managed to buy a house about 2 years into our relationship, on a relatively meager (<$30k) income. Jim had been living with me at my old apartment, and he also moved into the house with me. He has always contributed a fixed amount to expenses. Aside from our shared expenses (which I manage) I’ve never really dug into his finances. He never wanted to discuss money anyway. Last year, I switched from working night shifts to a 9-5 day job. This is when I really began to notice the extent of Jim’s drinking and doing cocaine. It turned out that all that time I was working nights, he would use all that time after his 9-5 to drink and do cocaine, usually by himself. Then he would try to sober up and hide it by the time I got off work at 10. Once I started working my 9-5, he began to take off from work earlier in the day, and would generally take off at least one day a week. At this point I tried initiated conversations about his drinking and drug use getting out of hand. Whenever I would try to schedule time to talk, something always came up on his end. When we finally would talk, it was always one-sided and I was always the bad guy for bringing this stuff up. He would shut down completely. And now that he was “busted,” he turned from happy, funny Jim to moody, irritable Jim. Fast forward to this past March. He got fired from his great job. This sent him in a spiral. His bff and I attempted an intervention and sent him packing to his parents. He came home a week later . A few days after that, he ended up hospitalized for several days. And so commenced 6 weeks of rehab. It was tough, but I really enjoyed the time alone at home. His first 2 weeks there were hell, but he turned a corner and became the sweetest person ever. It was almost like having old Jim back, only sober this time. After rehab, I knew to tread with caution, and to practice detachment and realize where I have been codependent. It’s hard, but I try and I think I’ve done an ok job of keeping myself busy with projects, hanging with my friends and family, not harping on him to get things done, while also trying to be supportive. But man, has it been TOUGH. In the 4 months since he’s been back home, he’s applied for exactly 1 real job, and that was a job that I found. He expected me to write his resume- I agreed to only format it after he wrote it. He is applying for BS jobs weekly for continued unemployment. Last week I asked him when was his deadline for getting a job. He said Christmas; I said then that is my deadline too for him. He has copd, depression, anxiety. But he refuses to go the doctor to get his scripts refilled. So he is out of meds. He is constantly up and down mentally, complaining about his breathing. He hasn’t been to an AA meeting in over a month. Then his best friend and bandmate died suddenly a couple weeks ago. That super sad occurrence was another huge hit to his mental health, and sorry to say it but another excuse for him to continue not doing anything with himself. A few weeks ago, I noticed something shiny and new on his desk in the bedroom. It was a black metal car logo, like from the front of a car. “Where’d ya get that from?” I asked. “The car dealership when I got my oil changed.” “Oh, they gave it to you?” “No” “You bought it?” “No” “You stole it??!!” “No, I just took it.” This incident led me to remember all the times he stole something innocuous from somewhere. Hotel towels, robes, etc. He even stole medication from me on more than one occasion then lied about it! The kicker was when I learned that he’s recently been borrowing money from his parents. In between his hectic schedule of sleeping and watching tv, he’s been hitting the grocery store frequently and buying random things off the internet. Trying to think best thoughts, since his mom has just deposited money in his account, I asked him how his parents were doing, and there dog? He didn’t know because he hasn’t spoken to them in several weeks. “Well how did you ask for money?” I asked. “Via text” he said. This is when I kind of lost it. I said that he should really call his parents. He said he would later. I said that we’d all heard that before. His parents have sacrificed so much for his recovery, helping to pay for his treatment and paying for his health insurance. And they accept him with open arms every time he shows up. And it turned out that he didn’t even use the money for its intended purpose (his car payment) Then I meekly mumbled “I just don’t know if you’re a good person.” He was livid. “So I’m a terrible person?! Do you think I’m a terrible person?” To further complicate things, I just got a huge promotion that doubled my salary. He’d been gunning for house husband. There is no way in hell I want to support him. Reddit, if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. I suppose I’m looking for words of wisdom. Is this part of his recovery, and will he get better? I know I’ve gotten myself into this mess, and I think I finally realize that I need to get out. I just lack the energy for the shitshow that may ensue, and I admit I’m kinda scared to be alone. TL;DR Fiancé is a recovering alcoholic/drug user. Unemployed for 6 months, home from rehab for 4 months. Not looking for a job. Still lying, stealing, and taking advantage of people. Mad that I questioned that he might not be a good person.
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Sep 26, 2018 07:29
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My[32M] girlfriend [33F] wants to get a tattoo with a guy she barely knows. This man didn't so much not get the hint as the hints were shot down over the sea of Japan with no survivors.
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Sep 26, 2018 07:33
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smh at getting a tattoo to represent your time in montana
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Sep 26, 2018 07:53
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Smirking_Serpent posted:smh at getting a tattoo to represent your time in montana What does it look like though? That’s the real question.
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Sep 26, 2018 07:55
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My[32M] girlfriend [33F] wants to get a tattoo with a guy she barely knows. This has got to be the winner for most hilariously stupid edit.
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Sep 26, 2018 08:41
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