|
loquacius posted:Impressive that he's managed to survive to age 22 without ever having spoken to a commoner before ironically, if he wasn't such a moron she'd be the perfect wife for him because she's probably uhh significantly better at budgeting while there's a really good chance he blows all of it by 40
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 22:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 13:55 |
|
|
Barudak posted:No, she should cast him out of her garden. It doesn't sound like the serpent has entered her garden yet. I think he's strictly an over the pants temptation at this time.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 22:37
|
|
|
A Wizard of Goatse posted:
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:15
|
|
|
BORED! Pretty cool that his mom can cast curses, though.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:19
|
|
|
La Brea Carpet posted:It doesn't sound like the serpent has entered her garden yet. Luckily, the correct punishment for trying to date someone while a stealth libertarian is to have all your limbs cut off and crawl on your belly all the days of your life so shell be fine.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:20
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1051958321282990082
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:26
|
|
|
I like how she blames Reddit for her boyfriend being angry and upset.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:29
|
|
|
God god she is horrible.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:30
|
|
|
For my own sanity I have to imagine that one is trolling  that's like murdering a one or two year old because you want someone to pay attention to you, intelligence and understanding-wise
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:39
|
|
|
I find the bird murder upsetting but it's fun to see how desperate she's getting while believing this guy could never leave her.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:45
|
|
|
Tendai posted:For my own sanity I have to imagine that one is trolling Depending on the exact species of cockatoo, it might be more like a four or five year old. The big parrots are smart.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2018 23:47
|
|
|
A 4-year old that stays that way for 40-50 years.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:12
|
|
|
RatHat posted:A 4-year old that stays that way for 40-50 years. Oh, a train enthusiast. Meanwhile, the abuser, 'I could not comply with my victims' repeated wishes to be separated from me for reasons, I've got him trapped right now, how do I make this bitch lighten up without getting the cops involved??’
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:30
|
|
|
RatHat posted:A 4-year old that stays that way for 40-50 years. Just like an autistic kid.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:36
|
|
|
Khazar-khum posted:Just like an autistic kid. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:40
|
|
|
anybody who subscribes to any written religion is no friend of the fallen angels. i am kokhabiel's favourite wife and i make my own rules i can comment with authority on the cockatoo story because when my dad was a child, his mother disappeared for a while and he went to stay with his great-aunt. she was a seventh-day adventist who didn't believe in electricity (not because she was a seventh-day adventist, she was just mad) and was too cheap to buy candles, so after the sun went down every night they would just walk around her big mansion in the dark. she had a pet cockatoo who used to follow my father around going "mrs brennan? mrs brennan?" (its owner's name was not mrs brennan, and as far as he knows it had never met a mrs brennan in its life) and every time he turned his back on it, it would attack him. anyway, he told me that he was only safe from the bird once night fell because cockatoos have no night vision and it would go to bed when the sun set, but he had to be careful because it would perch on a different chair every night and if he accidentally bumped into it there would be blood. so no, the murdered cockatoo would not have been sitting on the hallway floor in the dark. also cockatoos are actually pretty big birds, they're australia's largest parrot and they're quite solid and also incredibly loving loud, so treading on one accidentally is basically impossible and even if you did it wouldn't kill it. the prosecution rests
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:48
|
|
|
incredible flesh posted:the prosecution rests But bird murder, no matter how premeditated or fowl, is not illegal E: unless there's like a cockatiel season
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:50
|
|
|
tactlessbastard posted:But bird murder, no matter how premeditated or fowl, is not illegal murder... most fowl
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:56
|
|
|
Parrots usually go to bed not on the floor obv, but his routine was so disrupted that I could buy he was wandering around looking for his owner. What I can't buy is that she actually stepped on him. They are not small. If she walked into him she could've accidentally kicked him, but she couldn't have stepped ON him unless she was goosestepping
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:56
|
|
i like nice words
|
Anne Whateley posted:she couldn't have stepped ON him unless she was goosestepping
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 00:57
|
|
|
i hope he calls the cops on her while locked in his office
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:06
|
|
|
Just call her a birderer already
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:21
|
|
|
Listen the woman obviously murdered the loving bird on purpose you don't need to be god drat Sherlock Holmes for this
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:21
|
|
|
Blade Runner posted:Listen the woman obviously murdered the loving bird on purpose you don't need to be god drat Sherlock Holmes for this
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:29
|
|
|
OP has deleted their account now. No more bird murder updates.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:32
|
|
|
This is an ex-parrot
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:43
|
|
|
the first murder live posted on reddit.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:48
|
|
|
Turtlicious posted:the first murder live posted on reddit. not even close
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 01:53
|
|
|
found a picture of the girlfriend:
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:01
|
|
|
jobson groeth posted:OP has deleted their account now. No more bird murder updates. I think you mean b-urder
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:20
|
|
|
jobson groeth posted:OP has deleted their account now. No more bird murder updates. She accidentally stepped on the "delete account" button and you can't prove otherwise.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:28
|
|
|
dudeness posted:She accidentally stepped on the "delete account" button and you can't prove otherwise. You'd have to step several times to 'IM A HEAVY WALKER GODDAMNIT'
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:35
|
|
|
I feel like she was probably going to show him the reddit post as evidence that she didn't do a deliberate stone cold stunner on his bird but it got undermined by the fact that everyone in the comments was saying "you absolutely murdered that bird on purpose" so she just erased it
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:36
|
|
|
Turtlicious posted:the first murder live posted on reddit. I’m not sure reddit is the most fitting venue but I guess it makes sense that it couldn’t be tweeted
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:40
|
|
|
quote:Author: /u/Weed_Problems
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:53
|
|
|
lol does someone have a youtube video for this? Like I'm trying to picture it in my head but I still have no loving idea what the hell these two morons were doing to each other.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 02:55
|
|
|
Aww the class traitor learned their first lesson about not screwing over their comrade
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 03:03
|
|
|
Beans come into this? And is it a dude or duddette?
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 03:11
|
|
|
Burt Sexual posted:Beans come into this? And is it a dude or duddette? It doesn't say but I guess they are both guys since his line says another guy started working there so.... I still don't know what the gently caress this bean thing is though. I thought they were grabbing each others balls at first but I have no idea at this point.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 03:13
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 13:55 |
|
|
After googling 'bean dipping nipples' it is no clearer now than it was before but I think I have a new fetish.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2018 03:20
|
|