/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

I'm surprised that one kid actually liked the beer. I remember taking a swig of my dad's beer when I was like seven or eight years old and it completely grossed me out.

God, actually read the story next time, okay? It was an IPA, not a �beer�, you plebe. No wonder the kid couldn�t help but finish it off!

# ? Oct 23, 2018 06:13

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# ? May 15, 2024 23:23

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Exactly my thoughts, too.

All too common sadly

EDIT: Looks like the original was from Slate, so it's unlikely we'll ever see any kind of update.

Yeah. Should I have posted a link? Sorry.

Those Slate columns do get updates sometimes but there�s no guarantee.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 06:23

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

therobit posted:

What I found turn up on Google said that they are real, but extremely rare, and it is even rarer to have a life threatening chocolate allergy.

Yeah, so rare in fact they're not even documented in medical literature.

I think I'm on to something.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 06:27

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Maybe their child is actually a dog.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 06:31

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

That other story about the fake chocolate allergy and the campus stalking is wild as gently caress though

# ? Oct 23, 2018 06:33

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Maybe their child is actually a dog.

Speaking of:

I just found out my[23F] mom and auntie[50sF] aren't respecting my wishes and fed my dog chocolate.

quote:

Sorry for the rambling, I'll try to keep it to a minimum but I'm absolutely furious.

So, I just overheard my mom and auntie talking to my grandma and I found out they gave my dog people food while I wasn't home. A little background, my boyfriend [24M] and I had to move in with my auntie and grandma due to financial issues, we can't afford a new place to live anytime soon as we're both full time new students living on a small amount every month. My auntie isn't charging us rent as long as we stay in school. If we were to run into a windfall or any sort of disposable income, I absolutely would want to move in to our own place. Now, we have a 3 year old Border Collie, he got her before we started dating but I look at her as my own. She is just the best dog, and I love her so much. I wouldn't say we're too too strict when it comes to her, but we like to try and keep her well. We don't allow her to eat any people food or table scraps unless it is a specific treat for good behavior, we tell her to get down when she jumps up, we make her sit before she comes in the house and she has to 'earn' her treats by doing tricks (lay down, shake a paw etc.)

My auntie has a dog as well, he's a 10 year old dashund and he is the definition of spoiled. No matter what my auntie is eating, he has to have a piece of it. He barks and barks until he gets some of whatever she's eating and she gives in because she loves this dog more than anything in this world. Please believe me when I say that she loves this dog, more than she loves me. It is unhealthy how much she pampers and cares for this dog. Don't get me wrong, I love her dog, he was once my dog but he is just the worst trained dog I've ever met.

He goes to the bathroom pretty much wherever he wants, I usually discipline him when he's peed on my stuff and he KNOWS what he did was wrong because he immediately hides behind my auntie. He's just a spoiled brat.

NOW. The conversation I overheard went something like this.

Auntie: When we were babysitting [Our Dog's Name], she was sitting on the floor by [Aunties Dog's Name] and begging for food just like he was. Grandma: Did you give her any? Mom: We're not suppose to but she had so many treats that day! Auntie: Yeah, she had lots of chips, jube-jubes, a few pieces of chocolate, and I was only going to give her a few pieces but she kept wanting more.

I was in my room but had my door open and when I overheard her, I almost lost my poo poo. I am so furious with them. I specifically told them to never ever give my dog any people food what so ever. I've caught them giving her table scraps a few times and explained that I don't want her eating any sort of people food.. ESPECIALLY CHOCOLATE. Never. EVER. EVER. My auntie always says that it's dark chocolate dogs can't have, and it's okay since she only feeds her dog milk chocolate. I told her I didn't care, and I don't ever EVER EVER want her feeding my dog chocolate.

She has gone out of her way to completely disrespect my wishes and potentially harm my dog. I am fuming.

So, I haven't told my boyfriend yet but when I do he is going to freak out. He's going to tell me to yell at my auntie and be more mad, but there's only so much I can do. He's probably going to suggest we keep our dog in a separate locked room while we're away because they just can't be trusted. I would rather take her to a dog sitter or something before I do that, which we can't afford. I'll be stuck talking to my auntie, and I honestly don't think she'll even listen to me at this point. I think she likes giving my dog people food, because she doesn't want her to feel left out when she gives her dog people food.

So, I'm asking, what do I do here? Do I try my hardest to find someplace else to live? Do I just keep my dog in a room away from my family, while we're at work/school? If I confront my auntie and then find out she disrespected my wishes again, what's a good plan of action here.

tl;dr: Auntie and Mom fed my dog people food while I was away, including several pieces of milk chocolate, something I specifically told her never to do. I live in the same house as my auntie so my dog is always around her and her spoiled dog. Help.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 06:54

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Indoor border collies, ugh.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 07:08

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Check out this one weird trick from r/legaladvice:

quote:

My Ex, to whom I was never married, just served me with divorce papers
TLDR - I'm in the process of evicting my ex from my house in Kansas. He just served me with divorce papers, though we were never married. He's claiming it was "common law" and I think he's trying to get my house.

This is just so strange that I feel like I�m living in another universe. I hope I can get a little advice. This is all happening in Kansas.

Anyway, my ex and I were together for about 10 years. Almost 8 years ago I bought a house. I bought the house. Me. Alone. My down payment, my credit, my mortgage. He didn�t pay anything. His name was never on anything. Not the title, not the insurance, not the mortgage, not even the utilities.

We did have an unwritten agreement that he�d pay half the mortgage, utilities, and other shared expenses like groceries. And for about a year, maybe, he did pay me varying amounts of money. It was never half, and it caused a lot of arguments. Whatever he paid me, he paid in cash. Since summer 2011 I have paid all of it. He pays for whatever food he eats outside of groceries and covers whatever expenses he has. I don�t know anything about that. He runs �businesses� that include a youtube channel, a Twitch channel, and he�s in a band. I don�t have any idea how much money he made at them, or if he made any at all.

For a number of reasons, including this ridiculous financial situation, I ended our relationship in mid-March. I told him I was planning to move out of state without him and that he needed to leave the house. I told him to be out by mid July.

He totally ignored me and did nothing. July came and went. I moved out of state. He stayed in my house. I began communicating with him only by email - I told him I wanted to have the house on the market by October, that he had to be out etc. He continued to ignore me, and I had to get a lawyer who served him with a notice of eviction at the beginning of October. He challenged the eviction and the court date is the first week of November.

Through all of this the ex refused to communicate. I never had any idea what he was thinking. Then yesterday I was served with divorce papers. What I have has no details, but a friend of ours told me that the ex is saying he�s entitled to the house (or some part of) because it is community property from our common law marriage.

Is this insane? Because it feels insane. I know I have to deal with it, and I will, but what the heck? We never discussed being married. I never told anyone we were married, and I never heard of him doing so. We never used each other�s last names. I have always filed my taxes as single. Does he have any hope here at all? Is it possible to accidentally get married? Without consent and against my will? I was REALLY hoping to be done with this nonsense.

Thanks to you all for whatever you can tell me.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 08:33

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Me [18F] told my bestie [18M] that I am a virgin. He now wants a threesome with me and his fiance[19F]. I am not down with it. Is this relationship salvageable?

I have been friends with this guy [18M] since we were in kindergarten ( approximately 13 years ). I have only known his fiance [19F] for 1 year.

Is there any going back from this? I wanna remain friends but this might be a deal breaker. I didn't say no or yes to the question, just switched topics because it made me so uncomfortable.

He took it as a yes planned everything out without my go ahead -- And its just completely overwhelming to me. I am away for University but now don't wanna go home for christmas because then I probably will have to face them in person. I never thought I would be in this situation with him and I feel betrayed even though I never explicitly said no.

I respect their choice to have an open relationship but I don't wanna partake in it. I feel like I just lost a friend but I also think that maybe I am partially at fault for not being clear enough about what I did and do not want? I want to keep this friendship but I don't know if it is possible. Any advice about what I should do here?

TLDR: Lifelong male friend[18M] planned a threesome with me[18F] without actually asking me if I wanted it; I don't.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 08:39

Freudian: Mar 23, 2011

Checked the Kansas Bar Association's page on marriage:

quote:

Common Law Marriages
A common law marriage is a marriage by agreement of the two persons without any formal ceremony or license. A common law marriage will be recognized in Kansas if the couple considers themselves to be married and publicly holds themselves out to be married and if they are legally eligible to marry. No minimum period of cohabitation is required.

Common Law marriages are subject to the same legal obligations and privileges that apply to marriages with licenses. Once a common law marriage is established, the couple must get a court ordered divorce to terminate the marriage.

So if she's got some proof that she's been considering herself single - which by her story looks like any document she's ever signed in the last ten years - then she can tell him to go gently caress himself. What a weirdo.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 08:40

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

I [24/F] need a moment to vent about my father [58/M] who is an escort hobbyist.

When I was a teenager, my father started saying very weird stuff to me. He would call me a prude because I wasn�t having sex yet. One time he even texted me the definition of the word prude while I was at school. He always told me I wasn�t sexually experienced enough for my age and that i should have sex/hookup or else I�ll end up �naked on the floor of a frat house with guys taking turns on me� when I went to college. There was always some weird sexual undertone. The earliest memory of my life is being 4 years old and finding an orgy magazine in his home office and feeling very very very weird looking at it.

Found out when I was 19 that my father was actually an �escort hobbiest�, which means exactly what you think it means. He would write reviews on prostitutes on this website called �the Erotic review�, which was recently made illegal. He cheated on my mom through their whole marriage, and went as far as to plan arrangements with �providers� (prostitutes) on our family vacations. When confronted with it, he wasn�t even ashamed. If anything, he was proud.

It finally made sense- All the sexual harassment, all the times I had boyfriends and he told me they were �definitely cheating� on me, calling me naive for saying my boyfriends didn�t cheated etc. Fast forward to present day, he�s dating a widowed woman for 4 years and going on dates with random women in manhattan. I finally told her the truth about him, and she didn�t believe me and thinks I�m mentally ill. My younger brother, who is 17, knows everything now too and still sides with my dad. Says that I�m being dramatic over the things my dad said to me; I should just deal with it, and that my dad has a right to say and do whatever he wants.my brother tells me that I�m crazy for hating him so much. And he goes back and tells my dad things about my life that he shouldn�t be telling him. My Dad�s whole family (siblings, aunts, uncles) thinks that despite being a prostitute hobbyist that my dad is a good man, and that I should �shut up and get help.�

Anyway- not sure what I hoped to get out of this but I just needed to get it out. It feels like I�m living in the twilight zone. I always thought that the issue would people believe it; But it turns out a lot of people knew about his hobby before I did. The issue isn�t getting people to believe, the issue is getting people to believe that it is wrong. I�m so mind blown. I can�t handle it.

TLDR; I�m about to just leave and not tell my family where I�m going.

Edit: sometimes I really do need to hear that there is something wrong with what he did, because I honestly question myself sometimes if he was in the wrong. Everyone around me is saying I need to just shut up and that my dad was just living his life and I should �get over� whatever he said that upset me. I really start to wonder if this is a bigger deal to me than it should be!!

# ? Oct 23, 2018 08:41

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Freudian posted:

Checked the Kansas Bar Association's page on marriage:

So if she's got some proof that she's been considering herself single - which by her story looks like any document she's ever signed in the last ten years - then she can tell him to go gently caress himself. What a weirdo.

Based on reading the comments, he's probably trying to lay claim to a share of the house. Hopefully he's unsuccessful, he sounds like a dirtbag. But yeah, all of the lawyers and not-lawyers are just rofling over the idea of even trying this

# ? Oct 23, 2018 08:51

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

"In which Boyfriend of the Year builds his partner a wheelchair ramp and the Neighbor wants it torn down" from r/bestoflegaladvice:

quote:

Neighbor threatening to sue over wheelchair ramp
My boyfriend has mobility issues and uses either a wheelchair or crutches depending on his pain levels. I�ve done a lot of home improvement projects to ensure he can get around my house easily, including a wheelchair ramp up to my front door. My front door is really recessed from the street due to my lawn and hidden by my porch, so the ramp isn�t very visible from the street. I painted it to match the house as well.

Few months ago, a new family moved across the street and the wife�s never been very friendly with me like my other neighbors are, which I chalked up to her being shy or whatever. However, recently I got a note taped up to my door that said she�s going to sue if I don�t take the ramp down, as it�s an eyesore and �reduces curbside value.� I have no idea what she means since you can�t see the thing unless you know what to look for and really get up in my property, as confirmed by neighbors and friends.

She refused to answer the door when I went over to talk to her about it. I�m trying not to lose my temper over this but it�s hard. There�s been many times my boyfriend has been screwed over by so-called �handicap accessible� places, I don�t want my home to be one of them. Does she have any sort of case? I�m in Washington.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 08:53

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

QuarkJets posted:

"In which Boyfriend of the Year builds his partner a wheelchair ramp and the Neighbor wants it torn down" from r/bestoflegaladvice:

Yeah it's not about the ramp. It's about the sexuality.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 10:31

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Pirate Radar posted:

Yeah. Should I have posted a link? Sorry.

Don't worry about it. If I ever feel like following up a story, I'll triple click the title and do a google search for it.

Mostly, though, I try to pretend I never read them and the world doesn't contain these terrible, broken people.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 11:08

HazCat: May 4, 2009

Wait what there says they are a gay couple? I reread it twice and the OP never mentions their own gender, do they?

# ? Oct 23, 2018 11:24

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

QuarkJets posted:

"In which Boyfriend of the Year builds his partner a wheelchair ramp and the Neighbor wants it torn down" from r/bestoflegaladvice:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Me [18F] told my bestie [18M] that I am a virgin. He now wants a threesome with me and his fiance[19F]. I am not down with it. Is this relationship salvageable?

QuarkJets posted:

Check out this one weird trick from r/legaladvice:

# ? Oct 23, 2018 11:34

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

HazCat posted:

Wait what there says they are a gay couple? I reread it twice and the OP never mentions their own gender, do they?

It's in the comments

# ? Oct 23, 2018 11:45

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

QuarkJets posted:

It's in the comments

It's also a pretty safe assumption. The idiot moved in and complained about the ramp after having paid for the property, so obviously had no impact on property prices. Also you've got to be a special kind of stupid to think that you could successfully sue a disabled person for making their private property more accessible for themselves.

So coin toss on racist or homophobe.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 12:28

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Theophany posted:

It's also a pretty safe assumption. The idiot moved in and complained about the ramp after having paid for the property, so obviously had no impact on property prices. Also you've got to be a special kind of stupid to think that you could successfully sue a disabled person for making their private property more accessible for themselves.

So coin toss on racist or homophobe.

Don't forget good ol' prejudice against the disabled for being out where people can see them ('ableism' has been abused into complete uselessness by internet idiots)

# ? Oct 23, 2018 12:31

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Don't forget good ol' prejudice against the disabled for being out where people can see them ('ableism' has been abused into complete uselessness by internet idiots)

I guess, but I just can't fathom the kind of broke-brainedness that would think you could successfully sue somebody for being disabled.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 12:40

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

houses are for living in, not buying or selling. anyone who complains about their declining ~PROPERTY VALUES~ is outing themself as a NIMBY petty capitalist wannabe and almost certainly a racist.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 12:42

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

My Linux Rig posted:

or what you can also do is leave your porch light on and when kids come to your door you can answer it visibly upset and yell "well what if I bought this candy for me??????" and start shoveling it into your mouth wrappers and all right in front of them

Best solution in the thread.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 12:52

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

Just popping in from page 2503 to say the advantage of reading this thread from the past is being able to scroll through foreskin chat. (Hopefully I�m not posting this in the middle of yet another foreskin chat.)

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:01

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

You summoned forth a new foreskin chat.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:02

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Propaniac posted:

Just popping in from page 2503 to say the advantage of reading this thread from the past is being able to scroll through foreskin chat. (Hopefully I�m not posting this in the middle of yet another foreskin chat.)

When you get here, ask yourself if this was better (candy war is much better)

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:12

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Theophany posted:

I guess, but I just can't fathom the kind of broke-brainedness that would think you could successfully sue somebody for being disabled.

Middle class white American?

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Muthafuckin candy war 2018

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:37

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Posters excited - (one) family (of fat candy weirds) divided

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:40

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Why would you fight over candy?

Chocolate, now...

# ? Oct 23, 2018 13:41

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Me [18F] told my bestie [18M] that I am a virgin. He now wants a threesome with me and his fiance[19F]. I am not down with it. Is this relationship salvageable?

I have been friends with this guy [18M] since we were in kindergarten ( approximately 13 years ). I have only known his fiance [19F] for 1 year.

Is there any going back from this? I wanna remain friends but this might be a deal breaker. I didn't say no or yes to the question, just switched topics because it made me so uncomfortable.

He took it as a yes planned everything out without my go ahead -- And its just completely overwhelming to me. I am away for University but now don't wanna go home for christmas because then I probably will have to face them in person. I never thought I would be in this situation with him and I feel betrayed even though I never explicitly said no.

I respect their choice to have an open relationship but I don't wanna partake in it. I feel like I just lost a friend but I also think that maybe I am partially at fault for not being clear enough about what I did and do not want? I want to keep this friendship but I don't know if it is possible. Any advice about what I should do here?

TLDR: Lifelong male friend[18M] planned a threesome with me[18F] without actually asking me if I wanted it; I don't.

Wait, does she think because she didn't say no she's now obligated to go through with it?

# ? Oct 23, 2018 14:15

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I [24/F] need a moment to vent about my father [58/M] who is an escort hobbyist.

When I was a teenager, my father started saying very weird stuff to me. He would call me a prude because I wasn�t having sex yet. One time he even texted me the definition of the word prude while I was at school. He always told me I wasn�t sexually experienced enough for my age and that i should have sex/hookup or else I�ll end up �naked on the floor of a frat house with guys taking turns on me� when I went to college. There was always some weird sexual undertone. The earliest memory of my life is being 4 years old and finding an orgy magazine in his home office and feeling very very very weird looking at it.

Found out when I was 19 that my father was actually an �escort hobbiest�, which means exactly what you think it means. He would write reviews on prostitutes on this website called �the Erotic review�, which was recently made illegal. He cheated on my mom through their whole marriage, and went as far as to plan arrangements with �providers� (prostitutes) on our family vacations. When confronted with it, he wasn�t even ashamed. If anything, he was proud.

It finally made sense- All the sexual harassment, all the times I had boyfriends and he told me they were �definitely cheating� on me, calling me naive for saying my boyfriends didn�t cheated etc. Fast forward to present day, he�s dating a widowed woman for 4 years and going on dates with random women in manhattan. I finally told her the truth about him, and she didn�t believe me and thinks I�m mentally ill. My younger brother, who is 17, knows everything now too and still sides with my dad. Says that I�m being dramatic over the things my dad said to me; I should just deal with it, and that my dad has a right to say and do whatever he wants.my brother tells me that I�m crazy for hating him so much. And he goes back and tells my dad things about my life that he shouldn�t be telling him. My Dad�s whole family (siblings, aunts, uncles) thinks that despite being a prostitute hobbyist that my dad is a good man, and that I should �shut up and get help.�

Anyway- not sure what I hoped to get out of this but I just needed to get it out. It feels like I�m living in the twilight zone. I always thought that the issue would people believe it; But it turns out a lot of people knew about his hobby before I did. The issue isn�t getting people to believe, the issue is getting people to believe that it is wrong. I�m so mind blown. I can�t handle it.

TLDR; I�m about to just leave and not tell my family where I�m going.

Edit: sometimes I really do need to hear that there is something wrong with what he did, because I honestly question myself sometimes if he was in the wrong. Everyone around me is saying I need to just shut up and that my dad was just living his life and I should �get over� whatever he said that upset me. I really start to wonder if this is a bigger deal to me than it should be!!

An escort hobbyist? What the gently caress?

*reads*

quote:

He always told me I wasn�t sexually experienced enough for my age and that i should have sex/hookup or else I�ll end up �naked on the floor of a frat house with guys taking turns on me� when I went to college.

My younger brother, who is 17, knows everything now too and still sides with my dad. Says that I�m being dramatic over the things my dad said to me

My Dad�s whole family (siblings, aunts, uncles) thinks that despite being a prostitute hobbyist that my dad is a good man, and that I should �shut up and get help.�

# ? Oct 23, 2018 14:16

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

Diabetes-car kid posted an update that got removed but thanks rareddit:

quote:

Well, it�s been one hell of a day. First off I wanna say thank you to the people who actually gave me good advice, specifically the people who suggested testing my a1c levels and buying a camera. To all those saying �OMG it�s obviously your brother/parents, they are totally crazy!� thanks for the laughs. I know they were the only three people I specifically mentioned in my post but drat talk about a witch hunt. Needless to say, no one in my family is guilty. But this took a weird turn.

Anyway, I went out Saturday night and purchased a small camera. I set it up right near the motion sensor light in our driveway. Saturday night was another no-show, but Sunday night at around 2:00 am I found the culprits.

The three fuckers hopped the back of my fence and came into the garage through the back yard, missing the motion sensor. As it turns out, I didn�t even need to buy myself a camera, because one of the dumbasses was already recording it on his phone. He had his flashlight on and it was just enough for me to be able to make out what they were doing. They went inside the garage, came out, clowned around a bit and then hopped back over the fence.

I recognized all three of them. One of the guys was my neighbor, his house backed up to mine, hence how they were getting to my yard. The other two were just class A douchebags from my school. I was fuming when I saw this Monday morning and I went to school before taking any action and confided in a few of my friends. They suggested I try hunting down one of the guys� youtube accounts since they were filming. They said it could have been part of a stupid �prank� video.

Turns out they were spot on. I found the youtube account and their series of �Loser neighbor goes nuts over candy PRANK!�. It was FILLED with videos of their little escapades and as pissed as I was it was just so loving entertaining that these assholes had filmed their own trespassing/breaking and entering! Infuriatingly, they had bee filming me, too, from the trampoline on the guys� backyard. They�d caught my confrontation with my mom after the first time from just over the fence. On other days they had several clips of me walking frustratedly from the garage to throw away the mess. They featured themselves in plenty of the vids, providing their own reactions and insulting narrations.

First things first, I went straight to the AP�s office and showed him the videos. He said he�d normally have me write a witness report, but since I had a whole youtube full of their evidence he would send it straight to the school cops, principle, and call down the kids. Additionally, he did call my parents and tell them (standard protocol) and asked me to bring my video of their trespassing the next day. He said suspension was definite for them, expulsion likely, since what they did was [cyber]bullying AND could be considered illegal.

My parents were absolutely shocked. They apologized profusely for not believing me initially and were very regretful that I didn�t feel comfortable enough to talk to them again. They have also said they want to press charges as this was malicious and calculated. I completely agree. I made sure to download all of the videos from their channel and screenshot dates/descriptions, which is a good thing because when I got home after school they were deleted. They are taking me to file a police report with all of the videos first thing tomorrow morning (yay, skipping school!).

So there you have it. I guess this ended well, but I still don�t know how to feel. I�m hurt and embarrassed by what these guys did and I have no idea why they chose me - I�m guessing my neighbor overheard my parents and I talking about college or heard it at school somewhere and decided it was perfect �prank� fodder. But at the same time, I know swift justice will come to these shitheads thanks to their own stupidity and the wonders of the internet. Bonus: since I am diabetic and they were putting candy in my car, dad says it�s possible they could get charged with some sort of intent to harm me. Woo hoo! We�ll leave it to the lawyers.

tl;dr rear end in a top hat neighbors were jumping the fence and filming it as part of a �prank� series on youtube. Took my evidence to the school and my parents. The police are going to be notified soon.

Idk if I believe this but if it's true then good, gently caress pranksters

# ? Oct 23, 2018 14:22

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The important question is, is her father the Siskel of prostitute criticism or the Armond White?

# ? Oct 23, 2018 14:22

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

You summoned forth a new foreskin chat.

Hide the candy in your foreskin so kids won't find it.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 14:25

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

QuarkJets posted:

Check out this one weird trick from r/legaladvice:

QuarkJets posted:

Based on reading the comments, he's probably trying to lay claim to a share of the house. Hopefully he's unsuccessful, he sounds like a dirtbag. But yeah, all of the lawyers and not-lawyers are just rofling over the idea of even trying this

Actually not that uncommon and successful more often than you'd think! I had a case several years ago where an older bf/gf couple co-owned two successful businesses, and a couple of houses when they broke up, and she wanted a bunch of money so in addition to suing for a redistribution of the business assets, she also filed a common law divorce proceeding claiming he had bought her a ring and they had planned to get married, and they called each other husband and wife (all not true, she lost big time when we found out she's been embezzling literally almost a million dollars.)

Thats exactly what he's doing, trying to get a cut of the house, though.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 14:47

Sir DonkeyPunch: Mar 23, 2007; I didn't hear no bell

Pirate Radar posted:

You had the same reaction I did, I think that�s the safest bet. She�s remarried the guy who abused her daughter and convinced everyone else in the family to keep the daughter in the dark about it. It�s hosed up but it�s the thing that makes the most sense to me.

Letter writer showed up in the comments of the post and said

quote:

Also, my abuser (father) is dead. Saw him in the coffin so I'm sure.

Edit: There was more

quote:

Hey, LW Stranger Danger here. Stepdad does exist. My brother met him. Guy is kinda a mooch from my brothers assessment. He is age appropriate, not a sex offender. Weed possession in the 80s was the only criminal history that came up in a public records search. He divorced his first wife 25 years ago. He has not participated in any video calls (asleep, outside, excuses). My child is a boy, not sure why Nicole assumed daughter. I was not molested, just beaten severely and often. Mother is a codependent type. They were driving to a neighboring state from mine to buy an antique car and he dropped my mom off to visit me for a couple days while he proceeded onward to make the purchase. That should answer most of the questions...mom is going to be sad she can't spend more time with her only grandchild but I can't spare her the consequences of her own choices. I'm just befuddled she doesn't see how bizarre this is.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 15:06

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Weren't we gawking at someone signing an insanely high interest loan with Petland before?

A pet store lied to us and took out a 7,000$ loan in my mothers name without our knowledge or consent

quote:

So my boyfriend and I got a basset hound puppy from Petland about a month ago and our first payment is coming up on the 25th, the full price of the dog is 2,525.47 and I was told we would be making a payment of 230$ for 12 months which totals out to 2,760.

When we were in the process of doing our credit check to see if we (my s.o. and I) qualified for their financing program they said we were very very close to apply for it but we need a little more credit so they asked us to get a co-signer, to which my mother agreed to be.

At this point I was taken into a back room when they had me get her bank info because she couldn�t physically be there and I was told her credit would be enough to qualify.

The manager said we had qualified for up to 6,000$ financing but he was only doing the 2,600, the actual price of the dog, and that we would be making 230$ a month for 12 months.

In the mail about two weeks or so ago my boyfriend, Mother, and I got letters from a third party credit company and they said that my bf and I both had NO CREDIT WHATSOEVER. NONE. NOT A SINGLE CREDIT POINT! And my mother had incredibly low credit.

At this point we were frustrated because they lied to us about our credit to get us into going through with it and getting the dog.

They ended up putting the payments on my mothers bank account even though I told them to put them on my boyfriends.

We tried to get this fixed and the manager had us call the company but they said our �account� hadn�t been fully set up yet and to call back in a week or so.

Earlier today my mother got an email from the loan company and it says she will have to pay off the 6,683$ loan and has to make payments of 230$ for 30 months which is 6,900$ which is not at all what we were told.

We were completely lied to and manipulated in the process of getting the dog, I was told something completely different then what�s actually happening, I feel completely used, and feel I was taken advantage of.

Is there anything we can do? Can we sue them if need be? Please help.

TL;DR: a pet store sold us a 2,500$ dog and lied to us so now we have to pay a 7,000$ loan

# ? Oct 23, 2018 15:17

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

I'm 60% sure those idiots got taken advantage of, but I still don't care.

# ? Oct 23, 2018 15:25

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# ? May 15, 2024 23:23

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Getting a dog on a loving loan? Jesus Christ

# ? Oct 23, 2018 15:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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