Bobby Digital posted:

MarcusSA posted:

Ok what the hell app is this?

Universe Master posted:

preggr

McGavin posted:

Of course Texan Barbie is pregnant and has a stripper pole in her Dream House kitchen.

Wheat Loaf posted:

How sympathetic/unsympathetic were the Maquis meant to be in DS9 (and to a lesser extent TNG, while they were there)?

Pick posted:

The Maquis are stupid dirt farmers who are obsessed with the quaintness of provincialism. They're Space Portland and frankly they deserved to be terminated with extreme prejudice

RFC2324 posted:

Was the one dude from AI who keeps getting cars, almost fixing them, then getting high as gently caress driving?

Pham Nuwen posted:

14" Dick?

Eox posted:

He has a name.

Ariong posted:

14” Richard?

Peter Daou Bundy posted:

*who wants to be a millionaire 500,000 question music playing, Regis spinning around in the chair dramatically*

"you arrive home to find a brand new PS4. Upon asking your lover where it came from, she, or he, *Regis winks* says "Somebody bought it off my Amazon wishlist." Do you:

A: Rationalize that PS4's are expensive, and that this really took the burden off you and you can enjoy it together, and be happy you have the premium choice in gaming.
B: Get angry and assert your male dominance, perhaps raising your voice, or insinuating your partner is trading sexual favors for the premium choice in gaming *Regis looking at card funny* brought to you by Sony. . .
C: Begin immediately installing Red Dead Redemption 2 so you can play it as fast as possible so the thought's in your head stop plaguing you.
D: Realize in the scheme of things, even if DMing feet pics might make you slightly uncomfortable, you might get bigger appliances out of this, possibly a refrigerator, or some kind of drone you can use to spy on your wife in *Regis squinting at card, puzzled* cuck shack?

*Goon, sweating so much it's offensive* "Regis, I'd like to phone a friend!"

*Regis nods*: Alright! Who would you like to call?

*goon, confidently* my wife's boyfriend, Chad!

*Regis staring at camera* Okay, lets get Chad on the line

*Camera pans to man in the audience's cellphone ringing loudly as he takes his arm off a smug lady in a weird 1920's flapper hat*

Archives posted:

Rectal Death Adept posted:

no one even so much as raised an eyebrow at the last wine mixer when I said I was a champion of LGBTQ rights, while Gertrude was the talk of the town with her 1910s clothing and the fact that six guys gently caress her while her husband cries in a climate controlled dog house

The Fear posted:

CAUTIONARY TALE

(Sorry for poo poo format this is a c/p)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.

Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good”. Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.

Smeef posted:

University endowments are loving weird pseudo hedge funds that horde money like dragons horde gold. Harvard will continue to grow its endowment and spend it on gently caress all until it's bigger than Japan's pension fund and claim that it's some sort of financial necessity. Meanwhile there's tons of important poo poo they could be funding and generating social returns on. And they could spend it all and probably re-raise every dime they spent since raising money seems to be all they're good at.

enraged_camel posted:

The word is "hoard", dude.

friendbot2000 posted:

No it isnt. Havard is notoriously full of orcs.

Ague Proof posted:

Especially the students who come from Uruk High.

jesus WEP posted:

i have an ex who contacts me once every 2-3 months asking me to explain why the earth is definitely round or why man definitely landed on the moon or why evolution is definitely a real thing

idk if she’s trying to not get the conspiracy brokebrains or if it’s just some weird sex thing

El_Elegante posted:

she’s got a pair of Luna/Terra Ben wa balls popped in

NoneMoreNegative posted:

Kegel Space Program

Archives posted:

syscall girl posted:

FCKGW posted:

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two notch and mutilated wooden I-beams
Stand in the suburb. . . . Near them, on the ground,
Half sunk a shattered home lies, whose drywall,
And headboards, and concrete bike locks,
Tell that its DIY builder well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is bEatmstrJ , King of Kings;
Look on my tub, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and leveled tract housing stretch far away.”

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Re: using Nair on your rear end in a top hat

Mr. Sunshine posted:

WrenP-Complete posted:

Guy Mann posted:

Chris Chan was one of the animators in Shrek Retold which means they have contributed more to the actual art of filmmaking than everyone in this thread combined.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Flip alert

https://mobile.twitter.com/RawStory/status/1072974424679374848

Lemming posted:

Wololo

Kavros posted:

DryGoods posted:

*Trump banging on the resolute desk* NEWT NEWT NEWT NEWT

*Shehuck and Ivanka leading the white house staffers in the Soul Train line dance* NEWT NEWT NEWT

*Stephen Miller in the pitch black of his underground office, slowly thrusting his hips against an exposed water main* NEWT NEWT NEWT NEWT

Karate Bastard posted:

Wolololo

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I hate that clever, clever joke.

MizPiz posted:

IT'S loving SANIC

Zereth posted:

Because if there's one thing Sonic is known for, it's his good relationship with the cops.

TITTIEKISSER69 posted:

When he goes super fast all you see is a thin blue line

My Lovely Horse posted:

Jesus, is that actually the redesign everyone's on about? I can see why. It's like giving Mario realistic beard stubble and facial mo-cap.

Outrail posted:

Don't hedgehogs have like, spikes and poo poo?

Outrail posted:

Don't hedgehogs have like, spikes and poo poo?

Aphrodite posted:

Sonic isn't a hedgehog he's a Hedgehog.

Outrail posted:

....... SPIKES! THEY HAVE SPIKES! What the gently caress. I mean they're mammals so sure there's hair, but spikes are their thing.

This is like a snake with legs or a peacock without feathers or a forums administrator with good posture.

Outrail posted:

....... SPIKES! THEY HAVE SPIKES! What the gently caress. I mean they're mammals so sure there's hair, but spikes are their thing.

This is like a snake with legs or a peacock without feathers or a forums administrator with good posture.

Sagebrush posted:

Hedgehogs do have fur btw. Their bellies are very soft

avshalemon posted:

i'd like a sonic reboot where sonic is an actual hedgehog, just a little stumpy fuzzy adorable thing with barely any legs at all, but when he wants to run those little legs go super fast like a beetle. that would be cute

My Lovely Horse posted:

Jesus, is that actually the redesign everyone's on about? I can see why. It's like giving Mario realistic beard stubble and facial mo-cap.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

https://i.imgur.com/PJhZd6i.jpg

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

avshalemon posted:

while we're here i'd just like to mention that echidnas have no nipples. they have a place in the pouch where the milk seeps straight out through the skin and the baby echidnas just lick it off. this is a much more risky way to transmit milk than nipples because of the threat of contamination, and echidna milk has been discovered to have all sorts of magical antibacterial properties that are only just being investigated now

Krankenstyle posted:

actually, what about sonics friend nipples the enchilada? why are his hands so erotic if not for the nipples?