Ghost Leviathan posted:

The term is obviously gaydar

Admiral Ray posted:

Ah, so this comes up a lot in these kind of relationships. The issue here isn't necessarily Henry, but it does involve him. You see, your brother feels like he's had his masculinity drained. When he saw Henry place those potatoes in his luscious mouth, he became enamored with him. Confused even. It's okay. It happens to everyone that sees a vegan eat food. Simple sexual envy is all it is. I'm afraid, though, that if you want your brother to come to terms with this that Henry needs to gently caress him while shoving his head into a bowl of those vegan potatoes. Only then can Rick come to terms with this confusing experience.

Dear Prudence posted:

Q. Boyfriend doesn’t “get” guests: My boyfriend and I have fundamental philosophical differences regarding the treatment of guests. As an example, he thinks it’s weird and fake that I go through extra effort to clean the apartment before we have a guest come to stay. I think it’s a common courtesy? He also gets offended if I put guests’ needs before his—for example, if I’m not free to do something he wants to do because I’m hosting someone from out of town. Some of our biggest fights have been about this!

This was one factor in our decision that he should move out of our shared apartment and that we should take it slow as we try to figure out if we’re compatible as a couple. But now I’m not so sure, because his move-out date coincided with—you guessed it!—a visit from a friend, which had been planned for months. He knew this upfront, and I tried to help him pack before she arrived. No dice; there was always something better for him to do. So, on the day of his move, I had planned to be showing my friend the sights of the city. All day I got guilt-inducing texts about how sad he is about leaving our apartment and how he has no help moving. In his mind, I should have left my friend to her own devices for a few hours so I could be there to give him emotional support.

I get that it’s an emotionally fraught situation—I was an emotional wreck at the thought of him leaving, too—but I feel that this would have been super rude of me. He only thinks about his own feelings and not my friend’s or about what a ridiculously awkward social situation he’s put me in. Part of me wants to drop him like a hot potato, but part of me still really cares about him. Am I stupid to want to try and make this relationship work?

A: Just as an aside, I would love to know what your boyfriend thinks is “fake” about cleaning an apartment before a guest arrives! “This dirt is really authentic to our relationship, and I want Moira to really get that during her visit.” But to answer your question: The only thing “fake” here is the self-created nonemergency your boyfriend is trying to guilt you over. The date of his moving out was not a surprise, you tried to help him for months, he chose to prioritize other things, and now, like the grasshopper and the ants, he’s trying to make you feel bad for his failure to plan.

When I was a kid, I used to ride horses. Invariably the kind of brisk, super-together women who ran the stables had signs on their offices with whimsical-yet-no-nonsense slogans like “A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine” and “I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.” I lived in terror of displeasing them, and I hope they all live to be 100 years old. Channel a bit of these horsewomen’s energy as you try to continue your relationship in separate houses. Is he interested in being your partner, in supporting you even when he doesn’t feel the same way about a particular situation? Or is he interested in making you feel unreasonable for wanting to have guests and letting him take responsibility for his own choices? If it’s the latter, well, you can still care about him while also letting that hot potato serve as your guide.

Haifisch posted:

Anne Whateley posted:

You could hang out with them now if goons weren't so fixated on "women who like horses are crAAAaaAaAAAaazy"

Anne Whateley posted:

You could hang out with them now if goons weren't so fixated on "women who like horses are crAAAaaAaAAAaazy"

WrenP-Complete posted:

I initially misread that as boyfriend doesn't "get" quests.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [21f] friend's [20f] ex [24m] is trying to sleep with everyone in the friend group. He's furious about not being welcome at parties any more.

My friend Emily was dating this guy Jared for a couple years. Like talking about marriage and everything. They broke up, and it was messy. She told me that she broke up with him, after an argument about money, then slept with a random rebound soon after. He's been saying they had an argument about money and then she cheated to piss him off. I believe her though.

So I thought that Jared wouldn't be around much after the breakup, our group of friends were very much her friends, he was never really a part of the group. He'd come to stuff occasionally as her date, but didn't socialize with the rest of us on his own. Anyway right after they broke up, Jared's been pushing himself into group activities. Like begging invitations off people other than Emily. It struck me as weird, and it bothers Emily for obvious reasons. Then, four of our girl friends told us that Jared was trying to sleep with them. Apparently he'd been going around trying to sleep with everyone in the group? We're thinking he's trying to make Emily mad, since he's just going for her close friends.

He tried something with me, at a party last weekend. And I played it like I didn't know he was going hitting on everyone in the group. I asked "why me" and he had some sob story about having been dumped, and only being able to be into people he already had a friendly rapport with... It was weird. Anyway, the next day, after the party, I hosted a hangover brunch at my house, and told Jared to not come. I just gave the reason of wanting to hang out with my closest friends and not wanting drama involved. But honestly I was weirded out by how he'd been acting and I wanted Emily to be able to have fun and relax at brunch. And he got really angry at me, saying I was being a catty bitch, immature, all sorts of mean poo poo.

I talked to Emily about this, then we screenshot the nasty stuff he said and I sent it to our other friends who sometimes host parties. Both girls. And i said to them that I was starting to get uncomfortable with Jared, with how he was hitting on me and then getting really angry with me. And Emily was uncomfortable with how he was always around after their breakup. So, if Jared was gonna be at future parties, neither of us would be going. Both of the girls I texted replied to the group text saying that they'd just stop letting Jared in, they thought the way he was acting wasn't cool and they wanted us there for parties. They were also both people he'd also tried to screw, and they thought that was trashy. So I thought everything was resolved.

Today at work, I got a lot of calls that I let ring through because I was working, and after work I checked my voicemail and texts, and it turns out that Jared totally went off on me for having done what I did, apparently it got back to him through the grapevine that he wasn't invited back to our group's parties, and he blames me because I set the whole thing in motion?? He also implied he might just show up anyway. So, I blocked him right away but I don't know if that was the right call. I don't want him showing up at my place or at my friends places because he's mad. Or for whatever reason. What should I do?

TLDR - my friend's weird ex is now trying to sleep with every girl in the friend group. Maybe to make her feel bad? IDK. Anyway me and my friends who host parties agreed he wasn't welcome at our parties, and he's furious at me because of that.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

TLDR - my friend's weird ex is now trying to sleep with every girl in the friend group. Maybe to make her feel bad? IDK. Anyway me and my friends who host parties agreed he wasn't welcome at our parties, and he's furious at me because of that.

Beachcomber posted:

I sent him out to get 5 wolf pelts and he came home with a cocker spaniel saying it was "Good enough"!

Anne Whateley posted:

You could hang out with them now if goons weren't so fixated on "women who like horses are crAAAaaAaAAAaazy"

marijuanamancer posted:

honestly if thats the worst going on at that age everythings gonna be fine

Papa Emeritus III posted:

"He wouldn't even take the Sealed Letter to the blacksmith in the next village. He said he's not a drat messenger and never upgraded our sword. So, now he's chopping away at kobolds and taking forever then has the nerve to bitch at how slow it is. God!"

christmas boots posted:

What’s the relationship version of microtransactions?

WrenP-Complete posted:

He just wants to fight baddies, not get invested in the details and goings on of the realm. He doesn't want to help any of the townspeople.

christmas boots posted:

What’s the relationship version of microtransactions?

jobson groeth posted:

Trading sex for chores?

FAUXTON posted:

asking how your day was

FAUXTON posted:

asking how your day was

Papa Emeritus III posted:

I was going to dig up a .jpeg I got from a thread on here. A lady set up a chore scoreboard and if the husband did some kind of task(dishes or other chores, I recall), he got rewards like "Will not nag for a whole day" and "Blow job!". It even had a crazy point tally system for him to save and cash in. Unfortunately, I cannot find it.

jobson groeth posted:

This one?

quote:

I’m not sure how to go about this, so just please bear with me.

Here’s a bit of background, I am 24 years old and my girlfriend is 24 as well. We have been dating for 2 years and she has recently moved in with me 8 months ago. Her younger brother is 16.

I didn’t want to write to out but I’m stuck on what to do and I have no clue on how to go about this situation.

This event happened around Christmas last year. This is when I’ve started to realized my girlfriend could be cheating on me with her younger brother. Me and my girlfriend decided to spend a night at my girlfriends parents house to celebrate Christmas with them. On Christmas Eve we went to visit my family. I drove 4 hours and arrived at my parents home around 1pm on Christmas Eve and we spent a couple of hours there. My girlfriends parents lived 7 hours away from my parents. So around 6pm we left my parents house and I drove us to her parents home. We got there around 2am in the morning and I was exhausted from driving all day. We got to her parents house, into her old room and I just fell dead sleep. However I woke up 2 hours later and it’s like 4:30 in the morning cause I had to take a poo poo and I woke up and my girlfriend wasn’t there. I didn’t want to pry around her parents home and look for her so I just went to the bathroom which is across her parents room. When I got out I heard some strange noises coming from her parents room. I heard bed creeks and some faint moans. In my head I was thinking like, okay Mr.A getting it on with Mrs. A., Mr.A and Mrs.A is my girlfriends parents. However when I went back to our room, I bumped into Mr.A and I asked him what he was doing up? He told me he went to get some water for Mrs.A. I asked him where do they sleep now because I thought the bedroom across the bathroom was their room. He told me that when My girlfriend moved out, her younger brother moved in to their room and my girlfriend parents moved into his room and renovated it to make it bigger.

I was confused as hell and went back to lay down. I was thinking like, then why the hell did I hear moaning sounds and bed creeping sounds from my girlfriends younger brothers room. I lied on the bed wide awake but pretending to be asleep just waiting for my girlfriend to return and around 20 minutes later, she got into bed and just held me. I was sleeping facing away from her. That morning I didn’t want to believe that my girlfriend is doing something with her younger brother. I have trust in her and So i didn’t speak to her about where she was in the morning and didn’t ask about nothing and just spent the day celebrating Christmas with her and her family.

That’s when I started to noticed things, I remember that her younger brother would spend nights over my home because he would tell me he loved playing with our dog. My girlfriend would pick him up and have him over a couple times each weekend. I remember coming home one night and her younger brother was at my home, without me knowing he was going to sleep over and my girlfriend told me he had a fight with their parents and needed some time away from them. There were moments when I’d come home and see my girlfriend doing laundry washing our bedsheets when I clearly just washed them the other night and her younger brother is over sleeping on the couch and she tells me that I did a bad job on cleaning the bed sheets.

So I decided to dig further, I pay for me and my girlfriends phone bill and I decided to check on the text messages she sent on her side. I have her younger brothers phone number and I checked to see all the texts sent to his phone number from my girlfriends phone and I found some disturbing poo poo on there. My girlfriend would send texts like,. “We can only when _____ is at work” “I’ll tell ____ that you wanted to go do some stuff today and I’ll be home in a couple of hours” “When did you get so good?” “I’ll get a Wax Today” and I’m like who the hell tells their younger brother that they are getting a loving wax?

I haven’t confronted my girlfriend yet and I don’t know how to go about this. Because I don’t want to seem like I’m an rear end in a top hat and accusing poo poo like this and if I went to her parents they would just think I’m just crazy.

Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

Update: I went to my older sister and her husband to talk to them about the situation I am in and they both believe what I had to say. My sister just straight out told me to kick her out and just dump her and don’t care what she does anymore. I still love her and I don’t want to believe it until I have concrete proof, I suggested security cameras from you guys and they agree that would be a good idea, I showed them the messages and they were disgusted what they read. I am going to place security cameras in my bedroom however I am going to buy a gun safe to make it seem non conspicuous in the morning and place the security camera to visibly see the gun safe but most importantly the bed and I’ll be placing one in the living room. My sisters husbands suggested giving them a spare key to my house so they can just drive by and feed my dog or what ever. They suggested that I find out the next time her younger brother comes over to my place so that when And if I’m working that day, they can try to catch the act. I’ll try to keep you all updated, I don’t want to believe that she is doing this but I need to find out the truth for my sanity sake.

Edit: A lot have asked how I read the text messages and this is how: Me and my girlfriend both have iPhones that are both under my iCloud account and are regularly backed up to the iCloud. I cannot see SMS text messages however using my Mac which has my iCloud Account, I Can use her phone iCloud Back up and restore that version onto my phone since it’s both under my iCloud account and I am able to see the iMessages she has sent containing both The iMessage and who it was sent to.

jobson groeth posted:

This one?

Papa Emeritus III posted:

Seriously. I loved this. Do guys dig it, too?

Papa Emeritus III posted:

Don't quests help you level up?
(clearly, I am not an MMO player and am way out of my league. Curious about the WoW reboot though, PM me if anyone has suggestions!)

The posts about the couple who are living in separate places now reminded me of a news article I read; This couple was in their 80s and had been married for 60 years or so. They didn't live in the same house. Legit owned homes next to each other and still saw each other daily, but lived their lives in their own homes. They seemed happy and were actually kinda adorable. Maybe those two are just not "roommate" compatible? I dunno. I think they're doomed but if it worked for the olds... He needs to stop trying to be a constant nag for the center of attention. I bet he was an only child.

gbs but from 2004 posted:

I believe my girlfriend of 2 years has been cheating on me with her younger brother

gbs but from 2004 posted:

I believe my girlfriend of 2 years has been cheating on me with her younger brother

La Brea Carpet posted:

Why do these Reddit fuckers always advocate for some hidden camera bullshit?

I mean you could talk to your girlfriend, dump her, or set up an elaborate trap involving a bag of Skittles and an angry ferret, which would you choose?

FAUXTON posted:

Dr. FAUXTON and I basically ask each other first thing after getting home

She's a pharmacologist/experimental neuroscientist/virologist and does livestock vaccine research in an agricultural lab and I'm a financial crime investigator for a bank so our days tend to have neat stuff to share, both of us really like what we do for a living and are interested in each other's work too so yeah in this house we ask how each others' day was on a nearly ritual basis and we spend idk like 20-30 mins just talking about the day

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Apparently that's actually a much more common arrangement than people think. Much like couples who sleep in twin beds pushed together. Having boundaries can make a relationship more stable.

La Brea Carpet posted:

Why do these Reddit fuckers always advocate for some hidden camera bullshit?

I mean you could talk to your girlfriend, dump her, or set up an elaborate trap involving a bag of Skittles and an angry ferret, which would you choose?

marijuanamancer posted:

do you freak out about everything. just relax. let things happen. holy poo poo all you do is post walls of anxiety now im nervous