/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

She definitely shouldn't smoke blunts while working at a daycare, but the "friend" should stay out of it unless she's driving kids around or putting them in danger.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 22:28

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 14:13

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

yes dm you are the rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 22:28

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for banning this person from our tabletop group?

Hey. So, this happened a couple weeks ago but I can't help mulling it over once or twice a day. Here's the situation:

Me and a five friends play tabletop RPGs every two weeks, and have been doing this for the past year and a half or so. We use a Discord server to organize these things, and also to talk to one another between sessions on that server. I'm the person who DMs these sessions. Out of the five players four are fine, but one of them is a little problematic. Let me call him Steven. Steven has a hard time getting into character and has on two or three occasions gotten pretty mad at himself for messing things up during a session, as he takes it really hard when he feels like he 'failed' the group. Despite this, Steven is by far and away the most enthusiastic player in the group and he tries his damnedest not to gently caress things up and to contribute something to the game. Steven also suffers from some mental health issues, and though I don't exactly know which ones he has been pretty open about this to us and how it effects him--he shuts down, isolates himself, that sort of stuff.

Now, three weeks ago, Steven suddenly left the Discord server without saying a word to any of us. One of the other four players, Alica, texted with Steven for a bit and conveyed to me he was having a depressed streak and was going to be away for a short period of time. I told Alica to say to Steven that we'd give him all the time he'd need and that he was welcome back anytime.

After all the issues I've had with Steven over the year, though, I saw in his leaving the server the chance to replace him for someone I knew to be a better player. He could've stayed, but he left, so there was a spot free right? I invited someone else onto the Discord server to take Steven's spot. Some days later, Steven texted me about rejoining and asked me for an invitation link. I told him that I interpreted his leaving the server as implicitly leaving our tabletop sessions, too. When he told me this wasn't at all what he had intended, I told him that I had banned him from playing again because he was a bad player who doesn't know how to take a hint when he does something wrong and doesn't seem to learn very well from his mistakes. I told him I'd allow him to stay on the server, though, since we still all talk there, but I told him no on doing any more sessions.

After this, Steven explained to me the exact scenario of him leaving in an attempt to make me feel compassionate; he felt that he was on the brink of harming himself and felt like he had to isolate himself and have some peace and quiet for a while. To achieve this he left the server and muted every social media he had so that he could have a few days where he could get back to being okay, then intended to rejoin.

I didn't budge. Then, Steven told me that he thinks I acted extremely two-facedly by saying I'll welcome him back one day then booting him the other. He told me it feels like I was waiting for the first chance to ban him and blame it on himself. He told me that I'm a bad friend and that he blames me for never bothering to send him a message about how or if he wanted to continue with our tabletop games, or how he was doing, and also said that me not doing this really hurt him because he expected more from me. He also reminded me of how highly he values the sometimes up to seven hours that we spend together as a group and how much he was going to miss that. He pleaded with me to accept him back into the group. Again I told him no. After this Steven told me that it felt like he had lost a friend and that I was a two-faced opportunist twat, and I've not spoken to him since then.

Alica, who does still regularly talk to him, told me that Steven's taken his banning pretty hard and has been sullen for a while, possibly even self-mutilating again---she doesn't know this for certain but has a suspicion due to some things he offhandedly mentioned.

Truth be told, I don't feel like much of an rear end in a top hat and feel like I'm justified in my actions. I took the shot and improved the situation for myself. If Steven had wanted to make sure I didn't ban him he should've stayed, he could've just muted the server right? And him being mad at me for not texting him, it's not like it's my responsibility to do that. It's him who should've let me know what was going on and how he wanted to proceed.

Two friends I've shared it with think I acted sub-optimally in this situation, and the players themselves has been largely silent about it. In fact the whole server has been pretty quiet, since Steven usually started and maintained the conversations there. I'm picking up vibes from Alica that she's also less than satisfied with Steven having been banned from the group.

Reddit, let me know if I acted right, or if I'm the rear end in a top hat.

TL;DR - Player inexplicably exited the groupchat we use for our biweekly tabletop games. I took this chance to replace him, as he's not an ideal player. He wanted to come back, and I told him he is a bad player and denied that request. He's now mad at me, obviously thinks I'm the rear end in a top hat. Am I?

Sounds like this robot better invest in some better social algorithms.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 22:35

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Biplane posted:

50/50 chance the idiot stoner boyfriend forgot he himself smoked he own stash

It's two women. They even mentioned they share clothes.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 22:45

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Leon Einstein posted:

She definitely shouldn't smoke blunts while working at a daycare, but the "friend" should stay out of it unless she's driving kids around or putting them in danger.

I feel like the OP addressed that this person wasn't all there after 2 hits. I wouldn't want somebody who was incoherent watching a room full of toddlers. Someone could actually get hurt af a result.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:14

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

The DM is just minmaxing his friend group.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:16

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

Leon Einstein posted:

She definitely shouldn't smoke blunts while working at a daycare, but the "friend" should stay out of it unless she's driving kids around or putting them in danger.

Don't be stupid. This isn't some retail job.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:18

Tsietisin: Jul 2, 2004; Time passes quickly on the weekend.

My Lovely Horse posted:

Was definitely disappointed he didn't get the ring back out and immediately put it on 26 red.

Now that's just ridiculous.

26 is a black number.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:20

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Miserable Maid posted:

Don't be stupid. This isn't some retail job.

The state agencies that license daycares aren't always the most responsive but would come down on a daycare employee using drugs at work full force

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:21

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

fire them for posting their on the job drug use to a goddamn social media account. not because of the drugs, but because of the gobsmacking stupidity of it.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:30

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA if i don't share my stash with my long term gf?

Stop smoking two grams a day dumdum

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:31

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Miserable Maid posted:

Don't be stupid. This isn't some retail job.

Yeah, I wouldn't give a poo poo if it was retail or an office job or something like that. I'd like to suggest that the OP talk to her friend before reporting her, but I doubt that would do anything and then the friend would know it was her. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for someone who either doesn't have the self control or who just doesn't give enough of a poo poo to not get high at her child-care job.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:31

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

Do not get loving high while you are watching children. Report her rear end and get that motherfucker fired. Do not endanger kids just because you don�t want to lose your brain damaged pot addict buddy.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:36

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

ftrankly? honestly, in my real hjonest opinion? teachers should get to vape in their classrooms. not nicotine, co2 extracted cali grade hash oil. fuckin dabs the size of goliath beetle grubs. fistfull of moonrocks crammed into one of those bongs so complicated they look lik ea god drat marble maze. blunts the size of a baby's leg, dripping with Jah blessed rasta oil.

good luck being a school shooter when you'er proximity-baked next to the world's dankest woodshop teacher, all making pipes and bongs out of damaged chairs and such.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:37

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

Mameluke posted:

Stop smoking two grams a day dumdum

ToLeRanCe

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:41

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Are people doing supercritical-co2 extraction now? I'd always thought it'd give better results than organic solvents, but I'd never heard of it in peactice.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:44

Simply Simon: Nov 6, 2010; 📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

The Lone Badger posted:

Are people doing supercritical-co2 extraction now? I'd always thought it'd give better results than organic solvents, but I'd never heard of it in peactice.

I'm not an expert in The Drugs, but my PhD in Chemistry allows me to say: organic solvents bad, CO₂ harmless.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:51

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for banning this person from our tabletop group?

Hey. So, this happened a couple weeks ago but I can't help mulling it over once or twice a day. Here's the situation:

Me and a five friends play tabletop RPGs every two weeks, and have been doing this for the past year and a half or so. We use a Discord server to organize these things, and also to talk to one another between sessions on that server. I'm the person who DMs these sessions. Out of the five players four are fine, but one of them is a little problematic. Let me call him Steven. Steven has a hard time getting into character and has on two or three occasions gotten pretty mad at himself for messing things up during a session, as he takes it really hard when he feels like he 'failed' the group. Despite this, Steven is by far and away the most enthusiastic player in the group and he tries his damnedest not to gently caress things up and to contribute something to the game. Steven also suffers from some mental health issues, and though I don't exactly know which ones he has been pretty open about this to us and how it effects him--he shuts down, isolates himself, that sort of stuff.

Now, three weeks ago, Steven suddenly left the Discord server without saying a word to any of us. One of the other four players, Alica, texted with Steven for a bit and conveyed to me he was having a depressed streak and was going to be away for a short period of time. I told Alica to say to Steven that we'd give him all the time he'd need and that he was welcome back anytime.

After all the issues I've had with Steven over the year, though, I saw in his leaving the server the chance to replace him for someone I knew to be a better player. He could've stayed, but he left, so there was a spot free right? I invited someone else onto the Discord server to take Steven's spot. Some days later, Steven texted me about rejoining and asked me for an invitation link. I told him that I interpreted his leaving the server as implicitly leaving our tabletop sessions, too. When he told me this wasn't at all what he had intended, I told him that I had banned him from playing again because he was a bad player who doesn't know how to take a hint when he does something wrong and doesn't seem to learn very well from his mistakes. I told him I'd allow him to stay on the server, though, since we still all talk there, but I told him no on doing any more sessions.

After this, Steven explained to me the exact scenario of him leaving in an attempt to make me feel compassionate; he felt that he was on the brink of harming himself and felt like he had to isolate himself and have some peace and quiet for a while. To achieve this he left the server and muted every social media he had so that he could have a few days where he could get back to being okay, then intended to rejoin.

I didn't budge. Then, Steven told me that he thinks I acted extremely two-facedly by saying I'll welcome him back one day then booting him the other. He told me it feels like I was waiting for the first chance to ban him and blame it on himself. He told me that I'm a bad friend and that he blames me for never bothering to send him a message about how or if he wanted to continue with our tabletop games, or how he was doing, and also said that me not doing this really hurt him because he expected more from me. He also reminded me of how highly he values the sometimes up to seven hours that we spend together as a group and how much he was going to miss that. He pleaded with me to accept him back into the group. Again I told him no. After this Steven told me that it felt like he had lost a friend and that I was a two-faced opportunist twat, and I've not spoken to him since then.

Alica, who does still regularly talk to him, told me that Steven's taken his banning pretty hard and has been sullen for a while, possibly even self-mutilating again---she doesn't know this for certain but has a suspicion due to some things he offhandedly mentioned.

Truth be told, I don't feel like much of an rear end in a top hat and feel like I'm justified in my actions. I took the shot and improved the situation for myself. If Steven had wanted to make sure I didn't ban him he should've stayed, he could've just muted the server right? And him being mad at me for not texting him, it's not like it's my responsibility to do that. It's him who should've let me know what was going on and how he wanted to proceed.

Two friends I've shared it with think I acted sub-optimally in this situation, and the players themselves has been largely silent about it. In fact the whole server has been pretty quiet, since Steven usually started and maintained the conversations there. I'm picking up vibes from Alica that she's also less than satisfied with Steven having been banned from the group.

Reddit, let me know if I acted right, or if I'm the rear end in a top hat.

TL;DR - Player inexplicably exited the groupchat we use for our biweekly tabletop games. I took this chance to replace him, as he's not an ideal player. He wanted to come back, and I told him he is a bad player and denied that request. He's now mad at me, obviously thinks I'm the rear end in a top hat. Am I?

Yes you are the rear end in a top hat, you two-faced bitch

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:53

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

The Lone Badger posted:

Are people doing supercritical-co2 extraction now? I'd always thought it'd give better results than organic solvents, but I'd never heard of it in peactice.

with the right feats and proficiencies you can drop crit range to like 16-20 so yeah i assume, like, high dex elf builds are all about that peactice.

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:53

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

LadyPictureShow posted:

I[25M] can’t bear to watch my husband[49M] gamble anymore. Took my ring off and tossed it.

There are cruise ships that specifically have no gambling on board. Maybe try that next time. With a different dude.

Luckily, now gay people can also enjoy being married to someone twice their age with multiple problem addictions and be like "what do I do???"

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA if i don't share my stash with my long term gf?
In the other hand, i have a 9-to-5 job that allows me to buy an ounce every other week, to enjoy after a long and hard day at work.

I bet her "hard day" involves being a cubicle drone. Also love how "reducing our use so we can make it last" doesn't come into it. She has an ~adult~ job and doesn't want to compromise with her GF that has the lesser job

PancakeTransmission fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Jan 31, 2019

# ? Jan 30, 2019 23:54

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

YeahTubaMike posted:

Yes you are the rear end in a top hat, you two-faced bitch

No no it's all good, take all the time you want!
Oh PS, you're a lovely player and BANNED now.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:03

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Simply Simon posted:

I'm not an expert in The Drugs, but my PhD in Chemistry allows me to say: organic solvents bad, CO₂ harmless.

CO2 is used in decaffinating coffee beans etc, but with The Drugs I'd only heard of stuff like butane extraction. That's why I was wondering if 'premium' co2 extracted oil was a thing now.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:04

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

HIJK posted:

Do not get loving high while you are watching children. Report her rear end and get that motherfucker fired. Do not endanger kids just because you don�t want to lose your brain damaged pot addict buddy.

I agree with this, teachers who get painkiller prescriptions should be immediately fired. After that we can ban coffee too.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:07

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for banning this person from our tabletop group?

Out of the five players four are fine, but one of them is a little problematic. Let me call him Steven. Steven has a hard time getting into character and has on two or three occasions gotten pretty mad at himself for messing things up during a session, as he takes it really hard when he feels like he 'failed' the group. Despite this, Steven is by far and away the most enthusiastic player in the group and he tries his damnedest not to gently caress things up and to contribute something to the game. Steven also suffers from some mental health issues, and though I don't exactly know which ones he has been pretty open about this to us and how it effects him--he shuts down, isolates himself, that sort of stuff.

...

I told him that I had banned him from playing again because he was a bad player who doesn't know how to take a hint when he does something wrong and doesn't seem to learn very well from his mistakes. I told him I'd allow him to stay on the server, though, since we still all talk there, but I told him no on doing any more sessions.

...

After this Steven told me that it felt like he had lost a friend and that I was a two-faced opportunist twat, and I've not spoken to him since then... In fact the whole server has been pretty quiet, since Steven usually started and maintained the conversations there.

Ok I skipped this at first because tabletop drama is usually really boring and stupid, but what the gently caress. I've condensed the post to the best parts. drat this person is stupid.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:08

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

AITA For giving my wife a baby hamster after she miscarried two months ago?

quote:

Me and my wife have been married for almost two years. Its been our dream to have a big family. She is 21, i am 24. We are both healthy and have an active sex life, but she has a heart shaped uterus and has miscarried twice, the last time being two months ago. After losing two of my children i am also depressed but I try to keep a positive attitude for her.

Our second miscarriage was in the second trimester and was very difficult as we both started to feel like "mommy and daddy". We were "competing" over which gender it would be.

I thought the baby would be a boy so i bought a bunch of baseball stuff for babies, little hats and mitts. I also made my ringtone on my phone "watching scotty grow" by bobby goldsboro. Just sort of a playful thing since i joked we would name him after my grandpa scott, she wanted a girl and made hers that "girls want to have fun" song.

Anyway, the baby was a girl named Charlotte. Shes been despondent these past few months. I havent been exactly ecstatic either but she wont even eat some days.

I kept my ringtone the same for a little bit, partly because i was sad and partly because i forgot. She heard it one day and started crying terribly. I changed it, but i also resolved then to try and make her feel at least somewhat better.

Wife doesnt like cats and dogs arent allowed where we live but she had a hamster growing up. I bought a baby hamster with a big glass case and put a teeny tiny pink bow on her. I gave her to my wife with a card that said "Would you be my new mommy?"

She reacted terribly to it and said that it made her feel horrible and that i was being an insensitive rear end in a top hat. Im just trying to help and the way she reacted put me on the defense so we got into an argument and arent on speaking terms since last friday. I keep the hamster with me on the coffee table as i sleep on the living room couch. Ive seen her play with it but she wont talk to me.

This guy is just on another level of moron.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:16

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Drinking a cup of coffee is exactly like smoking a joint

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:17

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Dammit, now I'm going to have that Nirvana song "Heart Shaped Uterus" stuck in my head all day

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:18

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

christmas boots posted:

Drinking a cup of coffee is exactly like smoking a joint

if you;ve made it correctly it should feel like snorting adderall off of your daughter's rear end, whomst is functionally the First Lady of the United States of America.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:19

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

i only drink STEEL BREW gently caress YOUR BITCH rear end UP MANSPRESSO. i drive two bugattis. one time at a party i butt-chugged half a litre of cough syrup through a beer bong. i saw parties you could never believe. dimensions of rocking out which defy categorizaiton.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:21

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

i only drink STEEL BREW gently caress YOUR BITCH rear end UP MANSPRESSO. i drive two bugattis. one time at a party i butt-chugged half a litre of cough syrup through a beer bong. i saw parties you could never believe. dimensions of rocking out which defy categorizaiton.

Settle down

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for banning this person from our tabletop group?

You aren't an rear end in a top hat for kicking a lovely player out of your group. You're an rear end in a top hat for every single aspect of how you did it.

It'd be like if I fired someone on FMLA leave and then when they came back to get their stuff I held them down and tea bagged them

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:28

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

It�s crazy, I�ve never seen a sub despise someone like they do with tabletop GM. They want him drawn and quartered.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:29

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Xik posted:

AITA For giving my wife a baby hamster after she miscarried two months ago?

This guy is just on another level of moron.

Oh my God.

And I thought I felt bad for tabletop game guy with the rear end in a top hat DM.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:34

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Usually most GM stories are something like "Hey one of my players stinks, has a MAGA hat, is constantly wanting to rape NPC's, and keeps sneaking off to poo poo in my bedroom. Am I a jerk to ask them to leave?? No, I've known him since middle school it would be too awkward..."

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:34

Teabag Dome Scandal: Mar 19, 2002

The Lone Badger posted:

CO2 is used in decaffinating coffee beans etc, but with The Drugs I'd only heard of stuff like butane extraction. That's why I was wondering if 'premium' co2 extracted oil was a thing now.

naw, CO2 extracted oil has been a thing for a while

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:35

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

It�s crazy, I�ve never seen a sub despise someone like they do with tabletop GM. They want him drawn and quartered.

I just think it's funny how the OP portrays themselves and their own opinions. Like they go to the effort of giving a detailed description of them being two-faced and opportunistic and then doesn't even really deny it when Steven calls them out, but still acts sort of offended anyway.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:36

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

I just think it's funny how the OP portrays themselves and their own opinions. Like they go to the effort of giving a detailed description of them being two-faced and opportunistic and then doesn't even really deny it when Steven calls them out, but still acts sort of offended anyway.

Someone actually was like �dude, this is too damning, it reads like it was written by the victim� and GM was just like no I was trying to be objective

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:51

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Someone actually was like �dude, this is too damning, it reads like it was written by the victim� and GM was just like no I was trying to be objective

Given these additional facts, I'm willing to proclaim OP a terrible person but probably a good GM

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:55

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

I kinda feel bad for hamster husband. He was trying to do something nice he just....really hosed up.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 00:58

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Someone actually was like �dude, this is too damning, it reads like it was written by the victim� and GM was just like no I was trying to be objective

I kind of thought the same thing. It's too good. It's even got the great kicker of revealing Steven was the only one capable of making conversation.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 01:04

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 14:13

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

gently caress Your Website posted:

Given these additional facts, I'm willing to proclaim OP a terrible person but probably a good GM

lol

# ? Jan 31, 2019 01:12

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