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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
I didn't think I had an ideal fantasy woman, but then

Power Khan posted:

My wife (F26) gets a kick out of attacking me (M27) with her breastmilk like a squirtgun. Is this normal behavior? Has anyone else gone through this? How can I get her to stop?
This woman owns and I'm sorry she's married to such a little bitch.

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Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Agrikk posted:

I too need to crawl into my cave when I am recuperating and get pissed when someone violates my space and doesn’t respect my wishes and needs, especially when I am hurting and high on prescription drugs.

Well... yes? The tone and content of this post don’t seem to match at all.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

Agrikk posted:

Anne gets it.

Not only that, subsequent surgeries to fix any complications (both physiological and cosmetic) are also covered.

Yeah during my girlfriend’s treatment, the reconstruction was fully covered, along with therapy (both physical and mental). Even the wig that she used while undergoing chemo was covered.

DemoneeHo
Nov 9, 2017

Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca


I [18M] deliberately haven’t seen my brother [25M] ever since he moved out because of the way he treated me when we were younger. I’m beginning to feel like I’m being the jerk.

It's always sad to see siblings drift apart when they get older. I'm sure you two will be able to reconci-

quote:

He moved out about a year ago. I feel like he had been unnecessarily cruel to me my whole childhood. He would punch my arm multiple times until I cried, a few of my things had been destroyed by him because I or someone else angered him, and everything I did, he criticized.

I’m gay and completely closeted, but my voice is a little feminine sounding, so I guess some people would already assume. He has mocked my voice, and he has joked about me having a boyfriend. Whenever I did something that even slightly annoyed him, he would yell “human being” at me.

I remember this one horrible morning. I was feeling extremely depressed (something happened that made me feel like my world had crashed down, but that’s a different story), and I was laying in bed way longer than usual. He came in my room, and demanded that I get out of bed. I told him to leave and he pulled me out of bed. I started bawling face down on the floor. He pressed his foot down on the back of my head and made a point of how much of a “pussy” I was.

He had, and still has, this attitude like he’s better than everyone else. Whenever we would go out in public, he couldn’t be bothered to hold doors open behind him, and it would slam on anyone who was was behind him. When someone is standing in his way, he bumps them out of the way. He doesn’t like the job my mom has, so she’s a “loser” according to him, and he makes sure to tell her that.

My grandmother has noticed that we don’t see each other, and texts me how she wishes we could get along, and how he really loves me, he just has a weird way of showing it. She claims that he actually cares for me because he’s made sure I always get great gifts for birthdays and Christmas (which he has). He himself has said that other families are way worse, and that he didn’t do anything to me. I feel like maybe I should see him and just deal with him.

I’m just really conflicted right now.

TL;DR: I choose not to see my brother, and I’m beginning to feel bad for it.

...

Yeah, gently caress that poo poo.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

DemoneeHo posted:

I [18M] deliberately haven’t seen my brother [25M] ever since he moved out because of the way he treated me when we were younger. I’m beginning to feel like I’m being the jerk.

It's always sad to see siblings drift apart when they get older. I'm sure you two will be able to reconci-


...

Yeah, gently caress that poo poo.

With 7 years difference between them I don't know why the older brother even gave enough of a poo poo about his little brother to even talk to him much growing up. I'm guessing dad's absent?

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

DemoneeHo posted:

I [18M] deliberately haven’t seen my brother [25M] ever since he moved out because of the way he treated me when we were younger. I’m beginning to feel like I’m being the jerk.

It's always sad to see siblings drift apart when they get older. I'm sure you two will be able to reconci-


...

Yeah, gently caress that poo poo.
I loving hate that "oh he actually cares for you a lot because he interacts with you at all!" no, gently caress that, go to hell. He's a habitual abuser of everyone around him and the world would be instantly made better if everyone like him burst into flames.

don longjohns
Mar 2, 2012

This is the one story where the gifts are absolutely acts of aggression

PizzaProwler
Nov 4, 2009

Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.
Hey, don't judge him. His love language is abusive, violent homophobia.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Yawgmoth posted:

I loving hate that "oh he actually cares for you a lot because he interacts with you at all!" no, gently caress that, go to hell. He's a habitual abuser of everyone around him and the world would be instantly made better if everyone like him burst into flames.

Grandma cares a lot less about you than she does about avoiding any form of social awkwardness

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

datajugend posted:

lol. "i have a terrible illness that is going to take away a big part of me and my sexual identity and change my relationship massively and forever, its freaking me out so much that i want to die"

"suck it up and take it in the rear end you toxic person lololol"

Gbs hates men

Necros posted:

this part is kind of important


stage 3 cancer means the cancer has spread to surrounding tissues. stage 4 means the cancer has spread to other parts of the body. if he had the surgery today theres still a good chance the cancer wont be completely gone.

Yeah I remember a similar story and IIRC any kind of transplant or surgically rebuilt member was a no-go because there were concerns that the cancer would just spread back to it.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Grandma cares a lot less about you than she does about avoiding any form of social awkwardness

That's a pretty grandma thing to do. See also: Dottie Sandusky.

hevnz 2 murgatroyd
Apr 13, 2018

by Smythe

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

that’s extremely rough, but the guy seems to have about the most supportive partner you could possibly imagine, so maybe this captain doesn’t have to go down with the ship

From the sound of his post, it seems like he's not a fan of going down at all :haw:

jiggerypokery
Feb 1, 2012

...But I could hardly wait six months with a red hot jape like that under me belt.

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

From the sound of his post, it seems like he's not a fan of going down at all :haw:

:golfclap:

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

From the sound of his post, it seems like he's not a fan of going down at all :haw:

:haw:

Mill Town
Apr 17, 2006

pupuru posted:

it's a breeze

Not really, you can only get a blowjob

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender






tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Abby has got a pretty high standard for suspicion

Necros
Jul 23, 2003

Sunswipe posted:

I didn't think I had an ideal fantasy woman, but then

This woman owns and I'm sorry she's married to such a little bitch.

if you squirt your tiddy at me one more time i swear im gonna post on reddit



THATS IT

Lucid Nonsense
Aug 6, 2009

Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day

Smirking_Serpent posted:

White boyfriend (25m) uses the N word. I (24f) am fed up with it.

I don’t have any tolerance for racial slurs...

I beg to differ.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Power Khan posted:

My wife (F26) gets a kick out of attacking me (M27) with her breastmilk like a squirtgun. Is this normal behavior? Has anyone else gone through this? How can I get her to stop?
Since my wife has started nursing after our daughter was born 4 months ago she had found out that she can squeeze her breast and squirt milk pretty far. I made the mistake a couple weeks ago of mentioning how disgusting I find it. So she now gets a kick out of blasting me when I least expect it. Help me people. How do I stop this madness? I feel like I'm getting peed on.

Edit: I guess that real reason I took it here is she blasted me in the face to wake me up this morning which was not pleasant. I like the suggestions to get back at her though! Keep it up!

That's right dude it's just like pee

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

DemoneeHo posted:

I [18M] deliberately haven’t seen my brother [25M] ever since he moved out because of the way he treated me when we were younger. I’m beginning to feel like I’m being the jerk.

It's always sad to see siblings drift apart when they get older. I'm sure you two will be able to reconci-


...

Yeah, gently caress that poo poo.

Explain to your grandmother that you love your brother too and your way of showing that love is to call him a hurtful dickhead and never see him.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Last page about the Underwear lady:

She has a weird issue regarding her laundry, but if someone tells you to stop doing something you should actually stop? Some people are really loving weird about their underwear though. I remember reading about someone freaking out that she needs to spend a fortune on all new bras and underwear because her bag was opened by the TSA when traveling thus they are all potentially tainted by a stranger's touch, which can never wash out.

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

SerialKilldeer posted:

New thread title?

Also, how exactly would one have sex with the wind?

She just misunderstood what had happened after her first queef.

datajugend
Jan 15, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

SerialKilldeer posted:

New thread title?

Also, how exactly would one have sex with the wind?

wind powered dildo machine or you just spread out in a hurricane maybe

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
You just kick your legs up spread eagle in the middle of a desert and hope for a dust devil to happen by.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

AITA for telling my wife that our children should not learn Chinese?

My wife is 24, I’m 26 and we have a 2 year old daughter and she is pregnant with our second.

She is Chinese, immigrated to here when she was 5. She can speak Mandarin fluently. She can also speak English and French fluently.

I am white and I can speak French (mother tongue) and English. She wants our daughter to learn Chinese, however, our daughter is already learning both French and English. I don’t think that learning Chinese would be very useful in a Western country, especially since we don’t live in a place with many Chinese people.

She is concerned that our children will not be “in touch” with their Chinese background. But she is not very in touch either and I think we should just let it go.

She says its unfair how our daughter is learning French but not Chinese. I say its because French is more useful around the world. She says Im being narrow minded.

AITA for wanting our children to not learn Chinese??

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000



Ultra Carp
christ, what an rear end in a top hat

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

So many questions in that post, but principally why is learning all 3 languages like her mother did not an option? What a dipshit

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

Unbelted passenger caused death.

My family is currently involved in a hellish nightmare involving an accident my nephew was killed in. My question is if a passenger is not wearing a seat belt in a state that requires them (Indiana) and is thrown into a belted passenger and causes death to that passenger, have they committed a crime that they can be charged with?

Edit

We know there was a case in Jerseys where a teenage driver was charged because their unbelted passenger was killed. State vs Lenihan. The entire accident has been poorly investigated from the start. My nephew sent out texts minutes before the crash that stated that the other people in the car had taken acid and he felt he was going to die, he literally predicted his own death. This took place in a very rural community. We found out that the drug test ordered on the driver did NOT include a test for LSD even though we were told it was being ordered. The blood sample has since been destroyed. The accident report stated the driver left the road for unknown reasons, drove 200 feet through a field for unknown reasons and hit a pole for, you guessed it, unknown reasons. No charges were filed against the driver. The driver had no insurance and no assets so getting a lawyer to take a case with little money involved might be difficult. We found out that 3 pages of the police report is missing and the icing on the cake is finding out that the officers involved in the investigation are relatives of at least 2 of the 3 other boys in car and we don't yet have confirmation but it looks like the 3rd boy is a relative as well. Right not we are hoping to present a case to the State DA but we know it is a long shot. This is as true nightmare and is made up of the kind of things you see on TV but don't believe could actually happen.

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my wife that our children should not learn Chinese?

My wife is 24, I’m 26 and we have a 2 year old daughter and she is pregnant with our second.

She is Chinese, immigrated to here when she was 5. She can speak Mandarin fluently. She can also speak English and French fluently.

I am white and I can speak French (mother tongue) and English. She wants our daughter to learn Chinese, however, our daughter is already learning both French and English. I don’t think that learning Chinese would be very useful in a Western country, especially since we don’t live in a place with many Chinese people.

She is concerned that our children will not be “in touch” with their Chinese background. But she is not very in touch either and I think we should just let it go.

She says its unfair how our daughter is learning French but not Chinese. I say its because French is more useful around the world. She says Im being narrow minded.

AITA for wanting our children to not learn Chinese??





:thunk:

PizzaProwler
Nov 4, 2009

Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.
Being fluent in all three would be a slam dunk in basically any career she chooses. What the hell?

I'm gonna put my money on racism.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

FELD1 posted:

I'm gonna put my money on racism.

Against whom? His wife and child?

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

FELD1 posted:

I'm gonna put my money on racism.

He already said he was French.

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!

spacetoaster posted:

Against whom? His wife and child?

this could never be, what white western man has ever married a minority in his country while still holding racist attitudes toward the minority group, it cannot have ever happen'd!

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

QuarkJets posted:

So many questions in that post, but principally why is learning all 3 languages like her mother did not an option? What a dipshit


Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

He already said he was French.

Yeah, there’s a lot of this in francophone countries. Quebec has this, but In France they can really look down on other languages and other countries that don’t speak French “correctly”. IME it’s usually Parisians and they’ll treat other regions like Avignon with the same level of disdain.

Somehow they’re worse than us Americans insisting that everyone speak English.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
The mother should make sure the child learns Quebecois French because that's apparently like a 17th century backwoods inbred hillbilly dialect to other Francophones.

Like telling your husband the kid is being sent to Eaton or some other high end British school where the students gay rape each other except they come back talking all "Hyucks, gawrsh!" like Goofy.

His child sitting there popping escargot out of the shell with his teeth like a redneck popping a bottle of beer as he rages Frenchishly about what has been done to his son.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

cumshitter posted:

The mother should make sure the child learns Quebecois French because that's apparently like a 17th century backwoods inbred hillbilly dialect to other Francophones.

Like telling your husband the kid is being sent to Eaton or some other high end British school where the students gay rape each other except they come back talking all "Hyucks, gawrsh!" like Goofy.

"No heir of mine will learn welsh!"

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

cumshitter posted:

The mother should make sure the child learns Quebecois French because that's apparently like a 17th century backwoods inbred hillbilly dialect to other Francophones.

Like telling your husband the kid is being sent to Eaton or some other high end British school where the students gay rape each other except they come back talking all "Hyucks, gawrsh!" like Goofy.

His child sitting there popping escargot out of the shell with his teeth like a redneck popping a bottle of beer as he rages Frenchishly about what has been done to his son.
aha, you have fallen into my trap, for

quote:

Im not French I speak French 🙄 If you are stereotyping French people as assholes than that makes you a racist

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

aha, you have fallen into my trap, for

He says elsewhere that he's Canadian so Quebecois is my guess. So imagine a cross between a snooty French waiter and a hillbilly.

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therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

christmas boots posted:

He says elsewhere that he's Canadian so Quebecois is my guess. So imagine a cross between a snooty French waiter and a hillbilly.

Pourquoi ne peut-il pas être les deux

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