/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Pirate Radar posted:

Because he�s... not virile enough or something? I don�t get it.

Because he's a dipshit with trust issues so deep that they transcend the trustworthiness of whoever he winds up impregnating, a person who he'll never actually see as a real partner. These flaws alone are profound but probably barely touch the surface

# ? Mar 18, 2019 08:23

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# ? May 14, 2024 09:35

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

QuarkJets posted:

Because he's a dipshit with trust issues so deep that they transcend the trustworthiness of whoever he winds up impregnating, a person who he'll never actually see as a real partner. These flaws alone are profound but probably barely touch the surface

And as we've seen repeatedly, being that paranoid of cheating on your partner is a common sign of projection because you're cheating yourself.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 09:03

Necros: Jul 23, 2003

what kinda poo poo is this??

Smirking_Serpent posted:

His reasoning for this is because he doesn't "want his family's name ruined" over a girl, referring to his family's strong background within the military and line of ancestry.

i thought lebensborn ended 70 years ago

# ? Mar 18, 2019 09:25

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

QuarkJets posted:

Because he's a dipshit with trust issues so deep that they transcend the trustworthiness of whoever he winds up impregnating, a person who he'll never actually see as a real partner. These flaws alone are profound but probably barely touch the surface

Ah, psychological lack of virility rather than physical. I get it now.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 09:27

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

" but I know that if I married her it could be the worst mistake of my life

second worst

tactlessbastard fucked around with this message at 11:14 on Mar 18, 2019

# ? Mar 18, 2019 11:04

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

sneakyfrog posted:

christmas boots posted:

Why even enlist then??

quote:

poverty and no future

This was my reason.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 12:58

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting to have anal sex with my boyfriend?

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year. I'm very 'vanilla' and prudish. My boyfriend is, to be frank, kinky. When we started having sex, he asked if I had anything I would refuse to do during sex. I told him that anal was a huge no go, and thought that was it. I've tried anal once, the guy I was with used a lot of lube, it still hurt and when I told him to stop, he didn't. He knows this.

Now he's started begging me to have anal sex with him. I've told him that it was a firm no, that there's a lot I might be willing to do during sex, but anal is a boundary I don't want to cross.

Now he won't stop bothering me about it. We should try this or that, "it doesn't hurt if you use lube", "pleassee", "I promise it won't hurt" and his favourite, "But you've never tried it with me!' I don't care that I've never tried it with you, I don't enjoy it, have a bad history with it and I've tried compromising with you, but you refuse.

He's called me an rear end in a top hat and asked me why I'm such a prude. I'm seriously considering ending the relationship. So Reddit, who's the rear end in a top hat?

Ask him if you can peg him first and if he says no, call him an rear end in a top hat and a prude and then :sever:

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:03

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I threw several pillows at my meowing cat?

This story is short.

Our cat gets fed every morning around 7:00 AM when my girlfriend goes to work. I don't typically wake up until around 8:30 AM, but one of my cats will sit in my doorway and meow constantly - like he was never fed, and that I need to come feed him. He does this as soon as she walks out the door; it's like clockwork. Basically, my cat is waking me up every morning almost 2 hours before my alarm.

I have tried "fake" feeding him, and that usually gets him to stop.

Most mornings I just roll over and pretend I don't hear him, but tomorrow I have a big meeting and really need my sleep; would I be the rear end in a top hat if I put a bunch of small (soft) pillows by my bed, to use as ammunition when he comes meowing? I think if I startle him, he'll run away - and give me at least a few minutes of peace.

That's all your cat does? One of my cats jumps up on the bed and starts chewing on my fingers.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:07

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

MightyJoe36 posted:

That's all your cat does? One of my cats jumps up on the bed and starts chewing on my fingers.

We keep the door shut and the cats respect the schedule.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:14

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My boyfriends (47M) ex wife (46F) recently messaged me (21F) about their daughter (16F)

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now and while his daughter (16) and I aren�t very close, I try to make things as friendly as possible. Other than meeting and having her number, I don�t have any sort of relationship with her mother. My SO and his ex wife been divorced for years now and they�ve both moved on.

I recently got a text message from her mother which was rather long but basically saying her daughter had confided in her that she (daughter) felt awkward and embarrassed after she had caught her father and I in a sexual act. The message went on to say that her daughter would not be going with her father for the week. I was extremely confused as to why she would even mention any of this to me rather than her daughters father (SO)

For my own personal reasons, I highly doubt what she�s saying is true, one reason being that almost every time SO and I have engaged in a sexual act, his daughter was either asleep, with her mother, or not home. I have yet to mention the message to him but was wondering if it was something I should even bring up. My SO and his ex wife don�t seem to be on very good terms and from what he�s told me, she�s constantly trying to cause issues.

I have yet to respond to the message as I have no clue what to say. Should I mention it to my SO? Should I acknowledge the message without bringing it up to him or would it be better to ignore the message all around?

TL;DR: my boyfriends ex wife recently messaged me claiming their daughter was embarrassed after catching him and I in a sexual act. I highly doubt that for multiple reasons, one being my SO has told me how she constantly tries to start drama.

Gee, I wonder why she would be upset at catching you fuckin and/or suckin...

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:17

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Papa Emeritus III posted:

I had a weird friend that did the barcode thing but added his name in it, but spelled it backwards. So, instead of Dennis, it was Sinned.

He was pretty smug about that one.

I'm picturing a guy who looks like Dennis on It's Always Sunnny in Philadelphia.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:30

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

FAUXTON posted:

At it's most charitable the odd one out is the Manchester one.

"Made in Norway" is code for "I'm a huge fuckin racist and also fantasize about being a viking" when combined with that god drat treason rag on his back.

Never heard a confederate flag called this before but I like it.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:33

Barudak: May 7, 2007

MightyJoe36 posted:

I'm picturing a guy who looks like Dennis on It's Always Sunnny in Philadelphia.

Im more picturing Sinned from Aihpledalihp ni Ynnus Syawla Sti

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:35

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Anne Whateley posted:

Elevator mechanics actually make insane amounts of money, he just has to get past the apprenticeship

Yes, ask my son who is a Journeyman Ironworker.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:37

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Leon Einstein posted:

Why would you be pissed someone expected you to replace it? That's normal and reasonable.

I don't think he's pissed she expected him to replace it, I think he was pissed at her tone. If I spilled someone's drink, I would apologize and gladly replace it. If they were rude to me, I'd probably do what he did.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:42

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

MightyJoe36 posted:

I don't think he's pissed she expected him to replace it, I think he was pissed at her tone. If I spilled someone's drink, I would apologize and gladly replace it. If they were rude to me, I'd probably do what he did.

Then you're an rear end in a top hat. Why wouldn't she be annoyed that the guy wasn't watching his 3 year old? The idea that someone's tone dictates whether you do the right thing or not is a really pathetic position.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 14:10

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Unpopular Opinion Time: it's on you to keep your drink upright

# ? Mar 18, 2019 14:41

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Leon Einstein posted:

Then you're an rear end in a top hat. Why wouldn't she be annoyed that the guy wasn't watching his 3 year old? The idea that someone's tone dictates whether you do the right thing or not is a really pathetic position.

Guess I'm pretty jaded from reading these threads so much. I pictured an entitled, stuck-up "can I speak to your manager" type lady profiling at the Starbucks and being outraged that a toddler is out in public.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 14:45

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

MightyJoe36 posted:

Guess I'm pretty jaded from reading these threads so much. I pictured an entitled, stuck-up "can I speak to your manager" type lady profiling at the Starbucks and being outraged that a toddler is out in public.

The trouble is that to an awful lot of Reddit types any woman existing in public not acting subservient to a man is automatically "entitled and stuck up" for not acting subservient to a man

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:11

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

MightyJoe36 posted:

Guess I'm pretty jaded from reading these threads so much. I pictured an entitled, stuck-up "can I speak to your manager" type lady profiling at the Starbucks and being outraged that a toddler is out in public.

Internalized misogyny has a way of turning any woman standing up for herself into a villain.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:18

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

TheScott2K posted:

Internalized misogyny has a way of turning any woman standing up for herself into a villain.

We also have basically nothing to go on in terms of what she actually sounded like except the one side. Depending on my day at the airport I might have also be short with the dad if his kid was tearing around relatively unsupervised and knocked over my drink, but at the same time I might also be real chill about it since it�s a coffee and of little value. It�s hard to tell who the rear end in a top hat is because I fly a lot and I�ve seen some pretty heinous assholes that could play either role in that story.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:39

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

If the woman cared so much about her drink, she should have watched it more closely.

Seriously though, don�t be lovely to people you want something from. Make them want to help you otherwise they might just say gently caress it.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:40

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

areyoucontagious posted:

We also have basically nothing to go on in terms of what she actually sounded like except the one side. Depending on my day at the airport I might have also be short with the dad if his kid was tearing around relatively unsupervised and knocked over my drink, but at the same time I might also be real chill about it since it’s a coffee and of little value. It’s hard to tell who the rear end in a top hat is because I fly a lot and I’ve seen some pretty heinous assholes that could play either role in that story.

How does it matter how she sounded? His kid knocked her coffee off a bench and he should replace it. It's not that nuanced of a situation ffs.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:42

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

MightyJoe36 posted:

That's all your cat does? One of my cats jumps up on the bed and starts chewing on my fingers.

Sounds like an eternal optimist. One of these days you'll be dead and they'll have hit the jackpot.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:52

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

What you dont smile to me when you are displeased?! Well gently caress you you bitch!

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:54

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

MightyJoe36 posted:

Never heard a confederate flag called this before but I like it.

It's either that or a "you tried" participation ribbon.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:56

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Dazerbeams posted:

Seriously though, don�t be lovely to people you want something from. Make them want to help you otherwise they might just say gently caress it.

This is great practical advice but it doesn't change the fact that the dude is 110% an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:58

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Straight White Shark posted:

This is great practical advice but it doesn't change the fact that the dude is 110% an rear end in a top hat.

They were at the airport, the assumption should be that everyone is an rear end in a top hat. You start off nasty and you�re never gonna get comped. Is it really so hard to ask for something civilly rather than expect/demand it? Woman would have been free to turn nasty if the guy declined after a polite �excuse me? Do you mind paying for the drink your kid spilled?� But she started off putting the guy on the defensive and in no mood to help.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:02

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being upset that my boyfriend would want DNA testing done if I had a baby?

Let me start by saying that we've been together for 3 years and have a great and very loving relationship with mutual respect. We do plan to marry eventually.

We were casually talking about what we'd do if I became pregnant, and he said that a DNA test would need to happen once I had the child. His reasoning for this is because he doesn't "want his family's name ruined" over a girl, referring to his family's strong background within the military and line of ancestry. He insists that it's not because he doesn't trust me, but rather more of a reassurance thing.

I would never even think to cheat or betray his trust in any way. Am I wrong for having my feelings kinda hurt over this?

Update: I did not tell him it made me upset or start a fight over it. I would not refuse to take the test if it gave him peace of mind. It just caught me off guard by him saying something like that.

A military man raising another man's child, something that's never happened before ever. Shamefully uncommon that.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:04

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Leon Einstein posted:

How does it matter how she sounded? His kid knocked her coffee off a bench and he should replace it. It's not that nuanced of a situation ffs.

No, you don't understand. It was a "mocha frappa-whatever". That means he doesn't have to pay for it.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:13

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

No, you don't understand. It was a "mocha frappa-whatever". That means he doesn't have to pay for it.

It was a Caramel Macchiato which means she was a hipster.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:15

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

No, you don't understand. It was a "mocha frappa-whatever". That means he doesn't have to pay for it.

I literally didn't see a single person on reddit defending this guy, yet here we've got multiple people already defending him. Hmmm...

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:15

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Dazerbeams posted:

But she started off putting the guy on the defensive and in no mood to help.

please specify which part of the OP this happened in, cause you must be reading a completely different post than us

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:22

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

No, you don't understand. It was a "mocha frappa-whatever". That means he doesn't have to pay for it.

That�s actually a really good point. I missed that disdain on the first read through. I think he is the rear end in a top hat.

That said, I�ve seen a lot of garbage people at airports. For me I�d be an rear end too if someone was a jackass to me when I made an innocent mistake.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:27

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

areyoucontagious posted:

That’s actually a really good point. I missed that disdain on the first read through. I think he is the rear end in a top hat.

That said, I’ve seen a lot of garbage people at airports. For me I’d be an rear end too if someone was a jackass to me when I made an innocent mistake.

Which part was her being a "jackass"? Be specific.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:28

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?

quote:

I’m a father of loving teenage girl. She’s very sweet, our only child and very close to both me and her mother. She’s 15 and she told us recently that she had a boyfriend who we met. He was nice boy and very polite

But the thing is my wife told me she wants to get our daughter in birth control in case they decide to have sex. I was shocked by this. I don’t believe in birth control and have told our daughter to wait until marriage to have sex. My wife though disagrees and believes that we should be prepared and give her birth control pills

I’ve tried everything and explained the side effects of giving teenage girls the pill but she won’t listen. What am I suppose to do here?

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:30

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Leon Einstein posted:

Which part was her being a "jackass"? Be specific.

I was speaking hypothetically, not what happened here. Here is probably an unreliable narrator situation.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:30

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

"I don't believe in birth control" says soon to be grandpa.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:33

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

TheScott2K posted:

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?

My wife had every negative reaction on the box with chemical birth control so I can understand being concerned about that. Just make sure she knows what condoms are and has a free supply.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:33

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# ? May 14, 2024 09:35

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

spacetoaster posted:

My wife had every negative reaction on the box with chemical birth control so I can understand being concerned about that. Just make sure she knows what condoms are and has a free supply.

That�s not at all what this dude cares about. The only safety he�s concerned with is the safety of his daughter�s immortal soul :rolleyes:

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:37

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