/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

spacetoaster posted:

My wife had every negative reaction on the box with chemical birth control so I can understand being concerned about that. Just make sure she knows what condoms are and has a free supply.

You know good and well the "side effect" dad is worried about is jezebelry

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:38

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:08

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

I'd be fine with this guy if he was like, maybe wait a year. But gently caress him with that no sex until marriage poo poo.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:39

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

TheScott2K posted:

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?

I swear this has been posted in this thread before, but at the same time I'm utterly not surprised that a dad posting on Reddit has the 'Not MY baby girl!' reaction.

This dude is nuts.

quote:

And I was raised in a religious household and I can tell you it HELPED me with my insecurities and kept me focus on more important things

I didn�t �explore� my sexuality in my teens years and I�m a perfectly healthy man. More so in fact. They don�t need that at all. It just sounds like you want to get off to the idea of minors having sex

Your data is arbitrary because there is also more was of entertainment now than before hence why teens are dating less

I don�t care if it isn�t my decision as long as she lives in my house she�ll listen and respect my authority. The problem with this generation is they have no discipline because people like you want to be their friends instead of their parents

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:39

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

LadyPictureShow posted:

I swear this has been posted in this thread before, but at the same time I'm utterly not surprised that a dad posting on Reddit has the 'Not MY baby girl!' reaction.

This dude is nuts.

Nothing says "perfectly healthy" like throwing an error code when presented with the idea of teenagers having sex.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:41

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Dazerbeams posted:

They were at the airport, the assumption should be that everyone is an rear end in a top hat. You start off nasty and you�re never gonna get comped. Is it really so hard to ask for something civilly rather than expect/demand it? Woman would have been free to turn nasty if the guy declined after a polite �excuse me? Do you mind paying for the drink your kid spilled?� But she started off putting the guy on the defensive and in no mood to help.

She wasn't asking the guy for "help", she was asking the guy for something he already owed her. Sure, in the big scheme of things it's trivial and nothing will come of it, but in principle she's entirely in the right. If his kid accidentally destroyed something that was worth $500 or $5000 instead of $5, would he still only have to pay up if he was asked nicely? It's not even as though she was especially rude about it, he literally decided that because she had the audacity to expect him to do the right thing that he didn't have to do it.

And hell, honestly I'm an rear end in a top hat myself. If he had just decided that he was going to be the rear end in a top hat and keep walking, who cares? It's $5. But somehow this smug fuckface has decided that he's morally in the right for skipping out on an obvious obligation just because she didn't lick his balls first. From a pragmatic perspective, sure, asking nicely would have been a more effective way of getting her $5 back. But gently caress that guy.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:42

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Leon Einstein posted:

"I don't believe in birth control" says soon to be grandpa.

"She won't listen" says man uninterested in differing opinions.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:43

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

LadyPictureShow posted:

I swear this has been posted in this thread before, but at the same time I'm utterly not surprised that a dad posting on Reddit has the 'Not MY baby girl!' reaction.

This dude is nuts.

whats with all these pedophiles trying to teach my daughter about condoms??

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:44

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

TheScott2K posted:

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?

You should get a divorce and cede custody to your wife you purity ball reject.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:49

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to replace a drink that my toddler knocked over because the girl was rude.

I was at baggage claim at the airport with my son, who�s 3. We were leaving and as we�re walking away, this girl yells �excuse me!� At me. I turn and she points to her Starbucks drink which is spilled on the floor and says �your kid did that.�

I ask my son if he spilled it and he said he bumped it. The girl says �it was $5� and looks at me expectantly. I was pissed about how rude she was and the way she was just looking at me and expecting me to pay for her mocha frappa-whatever without even asking, so I just shrugged and walked away. My partner called me an rear end in a top hat when I told her the story. AITA?

No rude behavior here. Beep boop, this is how decent people interact with each other. Woman might have been in the right but she was lovely as hell about it and got the response she deserved.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:50

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Dazerbeams posted:

No rude behavior here. Beep boop, this is how decent people interact with each other. Woman might have been in the right but she was lovely as hell about it and got the response she deserved.

Nothing you bolded is rude, let alone "lovely as hell", you weirdo.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:51

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Dazerbeams posted:

No rude behavior here. Beep boop, this is how decent people interact with each other. Woman might have been in the right but she was lovely as hell about it and got the response she deserved.

Yeah! gently caress that bitch for being annoyed that a guy was letting his toddler run around unsupervised! Screw her for expecting people to take responsiblilty for their mistakes!

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:52

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

TheScott2K posted:

Nothing says "perfectly healthy" like throwing an error code when presented with the idea of teenagers having sex.

Heck, my dad lost his mind and tried to sit me down to have a very serious talk because when I was eighteen I was 'allowed' to go to an OBGYN for the first time.

He went to pick up his blood pressure meds and the lady at the pharmacy asked if he wanted to pick up my Rx too, and he saw it was BC. "They're for the cramps you said I was 'being dramatic' about for six goddamn years, alright?!"

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:53

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Dazerbeams posted:

No rude behavior here. Beep boop, this is how decent people interact with each other. Woman might have been in the right but she was lovely as hell about it and got the response she deserved.

And I bet she would have so much prettier if she'd just smiled more.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:54

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

this starbucks rear end in a top hat derail really is something awful

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:57

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Jesus, I suppose I shouldn�t be surprised goons have no clue on how to interact with other people. My mistake.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:02

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Dazerbeams posted:

Jesus, I suppose I shouldn�t be surprised goons have no clue on how to interact with other people. My mistake.

Yes, advanced etiquette such as "ruining someone's poo poo by knocking it over and then refusing to apologize or pay for it, setting the implicit example for your kid that your feelings are more important than other people's belongings" is lost on us.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:07

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

r/sex
[19F] ... attracted to dumbasses?
u/tawaylmao

quote:

When I say �dumbasses�, I don�t mean guys that are ignorant or bad, per se, I mean just ... stupid guys. Guys that you listen to speak and just think �oh my sweet summer child�. Like recently, I�ve been seeing this guy who I swear I�ve never heard an intelligent word out of his mouth other than when he�s talking about his macros, and I get ridiculously turned on by it. The other day, he was seriously asking me if I think he could return a t-shirt he bought 8 months ago and all I could think was oh my god, lets gently caress. Similar thing happened with this other guy I was doing a group project with who didn�t know how to use Powerpoint. And that�s only the tip of the iceberg.

Idk if this is normal. Has anyone else experienced this?

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:11

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

LadyPictureShow posted:

I swear this has been posted in this thread before, but at the same time I'm utterly not surprised that a dad posting on Reddit has the 'Not MY baby girl!' reaction.

This dude is nuts.

You may be thinking of this one:

quote:

Teen Daughter Sexually Active, Wife and I Disagree on What to Do
My wife and I have been married for eighteen years and have two children, including a daughter who just turned 16. Up until this point, I thought my daughter was a good kid. She is an honor roll student, on the debate team at her high school, does volunteer work, has never been in trouble at school or with the law, and is seldom ever disrespectful. A couple days ago, I decided that I should monitor what she has been doing online. I found Facebook messages between her and her cousin, who is an 18-year old, promiscuous, gay male. They have always been very close.

I was shocked to find my daughter describing how she recently lost her virginity to a boy that she barely knew at a party, as well as a list of other boys that she wants to have sex with. I was completely disturbed. Her mother and I waited until our wedding night to consummate our love. She was 24 and I was 23. I do not think premarital sex is morally acceptable, especially not for a 16 year old child!

When I confronted my daughter, she told me that she doesn�t believe in marriage or monogamy, and that she enjoys sex and plans to have many lovers throughout her life. I think her cousin has filled her head with this free love non-sense and I don�t want her around such a bad influence. She informed me that I had no right to go snooping through her private conversations, and that it is none of my business who she has sex with, because she is now over the age of consent in our state. She also stated that she no longer shares my religious views, and that my ideas about sex were outdated. I felt like I didn�t even recognize the girl I had raised.

My wife and I are in complete disagreement about how to handle the situation. My wife thinks we should be more understanding, and take her to the doctor to get on birth control. She thinks that our job as parents is simply to listen, allow our daughter the freedom to start making her own decisions, and to try and prevent pregnancy and diseases. She even went as far as to say that 16 is a normal age to start having sex, and that it wasn�t really a big deal. I, on the other hand, want to ground her until she is 18, and send her to an all girl�s Christian school. I think children need strict boundaries, and a good moral compass, and that our job as parents is to enforce those boundaries and instill those values. I don�t know what to do. I am fearful that if we put our daughter on birth control, we are giving her free license to go buck wild before she understands the spiritual and emotional consequences of her decisions. My wife and I are usually in total agreement about how to parent, and this is the most major difference we have had thus far. What do other parents think about the situation? Have you and your spouse had a similar disagreement, and how did you resolve it?

TL;DR My wife wants to put our 16 year old daughter on birth control. I think this sends the wrong message, and that we need to set stricter boundaries. How do we move forward?

Fortunately, this dad sounds like he may be coming out of panic mode:

quote:

Of course I still love my daughter, unconditionally. I would never throw her out or disown her. You are right, it is difficult for me to see her take such a radically different path from the one I chose. All of these responses have given me a lot to ponder, and sound a lot like what my wife said.

Still lovely, but maybe he'll listen to his wife? Maybe?

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:11

SalTheBard: Jan 26, 2005; I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!; Fallen Rib

TheScott2K posted:

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?

He should meet the girl that had 2 babies with her first partner and see what his future holds.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:12

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

LadyPictureShow posted:

I swear this has been posted in this thread before, but at the same time I'm utterly not surprised that a dad posting on Reddit has the 'Not MY baby girl!' reaction.

This dude is nuts.

�You think teenagers should be able to have sex? Sounds like something a PEDOPHILE would say!� :smuggo:

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:12

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Bonster posted:

You may be thinking of this one:

Fortunately, this dad sounds like he may be coming out of panic mode:

Still lovely, but maybe he'll listen to his wife? Maybe?

My man!

. The same basic narrative.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:17

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Dazerbeams posted:

Jesus, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised goons have no clue on how to interact with other people. My mistake.

lmao

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:20

Suck a Dick No Homo: Apr 22, 2008

CheesyDog posted:

r/sex
[19F] ... attracted to dumbasses?
u/tawaylmao

If a 19 year old woman on /relationships said her boyfriend didn't know how to use Powerpoint, it's a big surprise the guy isn't 60

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:21

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

CheesyDog posted:

r/sex
[19F] ... attracted to dumbasses?
u/tawaylmao

Sorry, but anyone using the phrase "oh my sweet summer child" unironically is a dumbass.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:23

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

oh my sweet himbo lover

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:32

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

oh my sugary dry season whelp

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:49

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Sunswipe posted:

Sorry, but anyone using the phrase "oh my sweet summer child" unironically is a dumbass.

Don't ever go into DnD.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:26

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Most social conventions have developed primarily for people who have to interact regularly, whereas at the airport, you have the reasonable expectation that you'll never again have to see the person you were rude to.

He took full advantage of that to walk off and leave when in normal circumstances (if his kid knocked over a neighbor's drink) he would not have. He knows he was being an rear end in a top hat, so he should own it rather than trying to get strangers on the internet to validate his assholery. We're all the rear end in a top hat sometimes, but this is a relatively benign case as long as he doesn't start encouraging his kid to knock over drinks with impunity and laughing when people ask for recompense.

(And yes she sounds like she could have been nicer, but this is also his skewed retelling begging for validation.)

It's really not complicated.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:28

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

spacetoaster posted:

Don't ever go into DnD.

Speaking of

AITA for not taking one of my player's complaints about being uncomfortable seriously?

quote:

I DM for a group of 5 people: Will, Lorraine, Ben, Issac and Holly. I met the latter three at uni, while Will and Lorraine (a couple) are friends of a friend. I'm not am experienced DM but I really like this group as there's always a fun atmosphere around the table. As an additional advantage, the group doesn't have anyone that's a creep which is a real luxury. A while ago we were watching a bunch of YouTubers playing some D&D who were dressed up as their characters. I can't remember who suggested it but somehow the idea that we should do the same got floated around and as it sounded like fun, so everyone agreed. Next session everyone had their costumes ready and everyone looked great considering that we didn't have much time/budget. The session went really well. All of the group seemed to be acting in character way more than usual and as we wrapped up I chalked it down as a really great night and got a lot of great feedback from people there.

A few days later though, Holly messaged me privately outside of the group chat, saying how the costumes Lorraine and Will were wearing had made her feel uncomfortable and that she didn't think they were appropriate, that they were unnecessarily showing off and made the rest of us look inadequate, even if it was unintentional. She also asked me to ask them to wear more next session. Now, I wouldn't say anyone at the table was unattractive or overweight, but Will and Lorraine are both highly physically active people and have the bodies to match, and their costumes didn't cover a lot.

Will's character is a monk, and his costume was basically Dhalsim off Street Fighter: shirtless and with warpaint covering his chest and face. Lorraine meanwhile plays a sorcerer and was wearing a woven bikini top, harem pants and African style body paint (apparently you can't get elf ears for black people). As a DM/DND player in general, I like to think I have a really low tolerance for creeps and the usual shittyness that can come with a hobby mostly populated by nerdy guys and take every complaint I get about someone's behaviour seriously, but I'm not sure I can with this. Like if they'd showed up wearing, say bondage gear I might've had a word but they made sense for them as characters, they weren't showing any more skin than you'd see at the beach, and the outfits themselves wouldn't be out of place at a music festival and the designs were inventive.

Everyone else sent messages saying how much they enjoyed the last session and the effort people went to for their outfits so it just seems like a shame to stop doing it because one of us is made uncomfortable by a bit of skin (as far as I know, Holly hasn't mentioned it to Will or Lorraine). So yeah, am I an arsehole for not taking this seriously? Like I get having body issues, but I'm not sure being intimidated by physically fit people and being uncomfortable around them is a good way to go in life and the session we had in-costume was one of the best we've ever had.

Goddamn swole nerds making the other nerds look bad.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:29

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

ask Will if he'd consider taking over a plot critical NPC for the next session and hand him a character sheet for a barbarian wearing a fur codpiece and naught else

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:32

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

gently caress Your Website posted:

(And yes she sounds like she could have been nicer, but this is also his skewed retelling begging for validation.)

It's really not complicated.

That�s the important bit for me. We really don�t know how she reacted. Taken at face value, having someone react to an accident by pointing at their drink and saying �that was $5� expectantly like I�m scum as opposed to treating me like a human being (even in a terse, frustrated manner) would also make me want to tell them to gently caress off.

But that�s not the case here because we likely can�t trust the narrator.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:33

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Whorelord posted:

Speaking of

AITA for not taking one of my player's complaints about being uncomfortable seriously?

Goddamn swole nerds making the other nerds look bad.

If you've ever played D&D regularly, I bet you know exactly how Holly smells.

And you can definitely get elf ears for black people! dark elf drow ears, that is

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:34

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

gently caress Your Website posted:

dark elf drow ears, that is

Don�t you dare paint all the drow as dark elves you racist- I�ll have you know I�m friends with several drow who really enjoy the woodland arts! t :mad:

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:38

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

gently caress Your Website posted:

He took full advantage of that to walk off and leave when in normal circumstances (if his kid knocked over a neighbor's drink) he would not have.

Holy poo poo do you not have the neighbors I have.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:39

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Dazerbeams posted:

No rude behavior here. Beep boop, this is how decent people interact with each other. Woman might have been in the right but she was lovely as hell about it and got the response she deserved.

The response she deserved was him fishing $5 out of his wallet and handing it to her with an apology

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:49

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

gently caress Your Website posted:

If you've ever played D&D regularly, I bet you know exactly how Holly smells.

And you can definitely get elf ears for black people! dark elf drow ears, that is

aren't drow kinda purple-black? dunno if that would work unless they're related to purple aki

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:04

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

TheScott2K posted:

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?

quote:

I don�t believe in birth control and have told our daughter to wait until marriage to have sex.

Lmao.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:10

a fatguy baldspot: Aug 29, 2018

I don�t BELIEVE in birth control

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:29

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Lol I bet his wife uses birth control and he has no idea. "Strange thing, god only gave us one kid!"

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:31

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:08

Emulator: Sep 20, 2007; perma-nub

gently caress Your Website posted:

If you've ever played D&D regularly, I bet you know exactly how Holly smells.

And you can definitely get elf ears for black people! dark elf drow ears, that is

LARP folks just buy the regular elf ears and use the same black dark-elf makeup that they use on their skin on the ears. Pro-tip for LARPing btw, don't ever play a dark-elf in a LARP. It sounds/seems cool until you have to apply and wash off black pancake makeup from every part of visible skin.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:35

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