CheesyDog posted:

"Sorry for the mess" I said, escorting my newest poly catch into my solo bedroom. "My wife has been in, looks like she's gotten into my shreddies again."

My date pursed her lip; my heart skipped a beat as I took in the look of concern that flashed across her beautiful, ample face. Her Fetlife photos had not done justice to her Reubenesque features; I silently cursed my wife's dairy list for putting my tryst with this moon-faced angel at risk.

"Are you sure this is.... how we do this?" she asked. "Won't she hear?"

"Don't worry. Don't worry..." I quickly brushed the stringy queso crumbs off of the bed, tossing the empty bag into the recycling bin I kept at the foot of the bed. My sweet queso fresco sat down readily, relieving legs weary from the basement stairs.

"She is fine with it, and besides she'll be asleep for another 13 hours." I opened up the smart home app on my phone; the lights of the Cheese Cave dimmed to a romantic annatto hue.

"Now, are you ready... to fondue it?"

CheesyDog posted:

"Sorry for the mess" I said, escorting my newest poly catch into my solo bedroom. "My wife has been in, looks like she's gotten into my shreddies again."

My date pursed her lip; my heart skipped a beat as I took in the look of concern that flashed across her beautiful, ample face. Her Fetlife photos had not done justice to her Reubenesque features; I silently cursed my wife's dairy list for putting my tryst with this moon-faced angel at risk.

"Are you sure this is.... how we do this?" she asked. "Won't she hear?"

"Don't worry. Don't worry..." I quickly brushed the stringy queso crumbs off of the bed, tossing the empty bag into the recycling bin I kept at the foot of the bed. My sweet queso fresco sat down readily, relieving legs weary from the basement stairs.

"She is fine with it, and besides she'll be asleep for another 13 hours." I opened up the smart home app on my phone; the lights of the Cheese Cave dimmed to a romantic annatto hue.

"Now, are you ready... to fondue it?"

Leon Einstein posted:

A slice of sharp cheddar on apple pie is good too.

Thumbtacks posted:

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Comments seem to be arguing a lot over whether he should have asked first since the military has their own etiquette over these things and it's usually considered presumptuous to wear your military formals to a civilian wedding without permission (can be getting a bit 'thank me for my service' and all, or in the worst cases upstaging the bride/groom in the same way as a guest wearing white), but it's still probably an overreaction given Marines formalwear is apparently quite nice and as said, chances are it's the nicest clothes he owns.

CheesyDog posted:

"Sorry for the mess" I said, escorting my newest poly catch into my solo bedroom. "My wife has been in, looks like she's gotten into my shreddies again."

My date pursed her lip; my heart skipped a beat as I took in the look of concern that flashed across her beautiful, ample face. Her Fetlife photos had not done justice to her Reubenesque features; I silently cursed my wife's dairy list for putting my tryst with this moon-faced angel at risk.

"Are you sure this is.... how we do this?" she asked. "Won't she hear?"

"Don't worry. Don't worry..." I quickly brushed the stringy queso crumbs off of the bed, tossing the empty bag into the recycling bin I kept at the foot of the bed. My sweet queso fresco sat down readily, relieving legs weary from the basement stairs.

"She is fine with it, and besides she'll be asleep for another 13 hours." I opened up the smart home app on my phone; the lights of the Cheese Cave dimmed to a romantic annatto hue.

"Now, are you ready... to fondue it?"

quote:

I run a dance school that helps youth in the community overcome mental illnesses and puts them into a community that they can make friends with. Anyway, was reached out to by a film student (who we did a design course last year together) who wanted to do a documentary on what sounded like the work I do etc. thinking it would be a cool thing to gather some more attention, I was like, sure! Agreed informally about two months ago and was hoping it’d be like two days of filming/commitment maximum.

I know he likes/fancies me. He’s always there when I make open invites for friends to come along to classes. He constantly tags me in memes and tries to start up conversations that’s he knows I’m passionate in. I get that he’s trying to start dialogue but I wouldn’t date him in a hundred years.

There was one time (about five months ago) when he asked to stay at my house overnight. He had to stay in my one bedroom house (which is separate from the main house) while I stayed in my parents home as they weren’t comfortable with having a male in the house with my four younger brothers and sisters. I made the bed and went to leave and he seemed genuinely confused as if I wasn’t supposed to leave and instead sleep in the same room as him.

Back to the documentary, it’s gotten weirdly personal. He wants photos of my room and other workspaces. I’ve been a part of documentaries before and that doesn’t make sense to me? He keeps trying to slide it more into my personal life by asking for interviews from my friends and family (that I already told him they’d be uncomfortable giving) and just asking for lots of wild stuff. I have a super busy life, and I can’t constantly bend over backwards for all these commitments that he’s asking (he wants me to drive an hour and a half one way twice a week to attend meetings for the filming).

I’ve cut off meme tagging and any other reason that he might think I’m trying to lead him on. My friends have told me to ‘run’ and I’m trying to at the moment. I’ve suggested that he makes the documentary more about the other people at the dance school instead of just me. But how do I address this documentary issue?

TDLR: creepyish guy wants to film a doco about the dance school that I run but it’s become increasingly about me instead that feels like it’s over stepping boundaries.

number 1 snake fan posted:

Your girlfriend owns and you should break up with her so she can be free

Midnight Voyager posted:

Genuine question: What's the etiquette on coating yourself with medals when using your military formals for a wedding?

Sagebrush posted:

A while back there was "aita for not letting a guy in uniform have my window seat on the airplane" and all the military people responding were like "lol no the only time you might actually need to fly in uniform is if you're straight out of boot camp, so either he's brand new and has done nothing worthy of recognition, or he's doing it on purpose to get special treatment"

spacetoaster posted:

When I was a kid a friend's dad introduced me to coffee cheese.

You take the sharpest cheddar you can find, and drop a small block of it in some hot black coffee. Then, when it's gooey, you fish it out with a fork and eat it.

It is the oddest, most bitter, flavor ever. And I'll be damned if it wasn't pretty good.

quote:

My boyfriend M(30) I’ve F(28) loses his erection when he gets too sweaty and heated. He doesn’t last very long. He apologized to me for needing to stop and explained it happens every time he’s really sweaty. Then when his body overheats he gets eczema ALL over, he becomes red and itchy and sweaty and then he has to go shower and then he has to put lotion on the eczema and then we can’t go again for awhile because his skin is burning. Problem is, this cycle happens every time

I posted this in “sex” subreddit but I’m interested to hear from relationships subreddit

TL;DR: My bf M(30) loses his erection every time he gets sweaty during sex. He says it’s just how he is but then it leads to his eczema acting up and his skin itches and burns like crazy. I F(28) feel bad for him and want to help him but I’m interested to see how common this issue might be

spacetoaster posted:

Super difficult. Each medal can also be represented with a ribbon.

I've never put my actual medals on my uniform because you never get them to actually hang straight/not flop around/etc.

There's also several devices that might look like medals, but are actually secured in a much better way.

Also, if the dude is young, or hasn't been in a while, he isn't going to have a chest full of medals.

Sagebrush posted:

A while back there was "aita for not letting a guy in uniform have my window seat on the airplane" and all the military people responding were like "lol no the only time you might actually need to fly in uniform is if you're straight out of boot camp, so either he's brand new and has done nothing worthy of recognition, or he's doing it on purpose to get special treatment"

Leon Einstein posted:

ONLY TWO THINGS EVER DIED FOR YOU, JESUS AND THE AMERICAN SOLDIER!*


*Actual sticker on a truck.

I can't even articulate how much this attitude bothers me.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Genuine question: What's the etiquette on coating yourself with medals when using your military formals for a wedding?

quote:

Lots of history here but I'll try to summarize:

He & I have been together 13 years, I have always been aware of his fetishes & have explored them with him in the past. I am a very anxious person & sex doesn't come overly naturally to me - I need to feel comfortable & relaxed to be with him, & we've done our best to work on that through the years. (I also have been taking anti-depressants for 15 years which I imagine adds to the libido issue).

In the past couple years, his alcoholism & addictions have become more & more problematic. He has become a daily drinker, & also takes a sleeping medication (zopiclone) off label use during the day for concentration & focus. Recently cocaine came into the mix, there was an overdose & a year of hiding his use from me. Between the booze, coke & zopiclone, there are many instances where he is clearly "not himself" & sometimes he won't remember what happened the night before.

There was an incident about a month ago where I found a text on his phone from a girl telling him she was in town & wanted to meet up. Naturally, I lost it - this was the first time I really questioned his faithfulness. He admitted that he had been "discussing fetish stuff online with some people" & asking for advice on how to work on things with me. This seemed really suspicious but I tried to accept that he never intended to meet anyone & that it was just exploration out of curiosity. We have been working on getting through this, but I saw the email exchange with the dominatrix this past weekend & everything has crumbled again.

The message I saw was sent at 5:30pm last Tuesday. He had been apparently taking extra doses of zopiclone for a few days. It was an email confirming location for their meetup on Monday March 18, he asked in a clearly written message where the best place to meet for his "desires" & she gave him a hotel & a time & asked for confirmation. It seems to me that there was an initial email exchange before this one. I was able to find her online as well (big mistake).

I approached him with the email & he was shocked, claiming he didn't remember ever talking to this person or making plans. But the emails are there, & they are clear & coherent. He tells me he doesn't remember much of that week & agreed to hand over his meds to me for monitoring. But I'm gutted. I feel worthless. I can't stop imagining him with this woman. He keeps insisting "i would never do this" but that feels like gas lighting... He sent the emails, that was still him, but he seems to want me to accept that somehow another "version" of him did this. But he is one person. The hands that try to hold me are the ones that wrote that email. I am staying in our home because I really only feel comfortable there... I could stay with friends but I'm somewhat in crisis & want to feel safe & have my space. But he seems to want to move on from this, wanting to cuddle, saying that him being sober should be an improvement. He really wants me to feel like that person isn't him, but I can't separate the two & am not even sure I should.

If anyone made it through this, thank you. I'm confused & handling this poorly by sleeping & staying stoned most of the time. I guess my question is: should I be able to separate the husband I know & love when he is sober from the one who blacks out & does these things? Is it fair to ask me to do that? How can we move past this?

TL;DR - husband hired a dominatrix while he claims that he was black out. Never went through with it but he wants me to understand that the person he is when he blacks out isn't really him. Should I accept that?

quote:

Husband here: It is indeed true. It's a complicated topic, but essentially some people's neurotransmitters shift around the brain faster than others, additionally some people's background processes, the stuff that makes you get songs stuck in your head, or the part of your brain that is solving math problem in your sleeps, is much more hyperactive than others.

ADHD medication increases the processing power of your executive function so that you can basically observe and process more at once (solving the attention deficit issue)

My idle executive function, functions quite well. I'm able to process many thoughts and multitask well just about all the time. However my background process is incredibly loud and fast, so the end result is the feeling of concurrently experiencing dream like you have when you are sleeping, but I'm not sleeping so that sensation overlaps with my waking life.

Zopiclone basically shuts down, or greatly reduces the volume / speed of that background process, allowing me to use my decently well attuned executive function to process my incoming thoughts and senses and what's going on in the real world

An analog that people might more accustomed to, is giving ceroquil to patients with psychosis. They're background process is running totally wild and ceroquil takes them down a more normal state.

​If a totally healthy person took ceroquil they fall asleep with 10 - 15 minutes, or at least be extremely groggy.

CheesyDog posted:

"Sorry for the mess" I said, escorting my newest poly catch into my solo bedroom. "My wife has been in, looks like she's gotten into my shreddies again."

My date pursed her lip; my heart skipped a beat as I took in the look of concern that flashed across her beautiful, ample face. Her Fetlife photos had not done justice to her Reubenesque features; I silently cursed my wife's dairy list for putting my tryst with this moon-faced angel at risk.

"Are you sure this is.... how we do this?" she asked. "Won't she hear?"

"Don't worry. Don't worry..." I quickly brushed the stringy queso crumbs off of the bed, tossing the empty bag into the recycling bin I kept at the foot of the bed. My sweet queso fresco sat down readily, relieving legs weary from the basement stairs.

"She is fine with it, and besides she'll be asleep for another 13 hours." I opened up the smart home app on my phone; the lights of the Cheese Cave dimmed to a romantic annatto hue.

"Now, are you ready... to fondue it?"

quote:

There is a dude at work that is VERY into the army. Seemed a little weird at first because every other vet I know is a lot different. Very proud of their service and will talk about it if asked but also generally humble.

With this guy, it engulfs every aspect of his identity. Vet stickers everywhere, all stories are about service, every photo of him is a military photo, still dresses as if he’s military.

I’m not ex military myself but I have much respect for those who have served and it really bothers me to think someone is claiming service when they aren’t truly a vet. Is there a way to verify someone’s service?

spacetoaster posted:

Stolen valor. Any way to verify?

Rubellavator posted:

Not sure if it's more lame to be in the army or to lie about being in the army

FAUXTON posted:

Yeah if you're 2 yrs old and want to look like the Michelin man

quote:

TLDR: Bf’s mom knows how badly the military treated me and won’t stop sharing pro-army propagranda on my fb page and talking about how amazing he is and I am at my wit’s end.

Throwaway acct for obvs reasons, this is not based in America.

Background: My bf and I met in the military when I was 18 and he was 19, I was a medic and he was armoured (now infantry, if that matters at all). We’ve been dating for 3 years, living together for almost all of it. To start off, my military career was absolutely chocked full of harassment and sexism, and it ended with me losing my job over refusing to backdown from an investigation against a guy that was sexually harassing me. I’ve essentially made my peace with what happened, shtty people protect each other. A lot of dudes banded together and spread a ton of rumours that I’m a whre and was making everything up to discredit me. I will be officially ‘medically’ released from the military in the middle of this year. My bf is still serving, currently works at the same armoury that I did, I got into a very lucrative and difficult career where I make triple what he makes.

Anywho, my bf, John’s mom basically thinks that he sh*ts rainbows just because he’s in the military. She introduces him to people as “my son, he’s a soldier, corporal blah blah blah” as if it’s his entire identity. Then I’m just ‘his girlfriend’. She shares military memes on my facebook page and tells me to show John (he doesn’t use facebook). She goes on huge tirades about how important John’s job is, his weapons training, and how he could do anything because of how his training makes him basically like ‘the punisher’.

John doesn’t feed into any of this. He actively corrects his mother and tells her his job isn’t that big a deal, and most of the time he just does admin, and how the people he works with aren’t badass either, most of them are idiots, etc. But it seems like it’s in one ear and out the other. She makes weird comments about his body and how fit he is and has smacked his rear end on more than one occaision. I just find the whole thing super weird. It’s like she’s infatuated with him, which I would kindof understand if he had JUST joined, sure, proud parent and all, but it’s literally been 8 years. I’ve been in the military longer than he has, and have most of the same qualifications. Hell, I went to more places and saw more action than he has.

With how I was pushed out of my job in the army, and how I was treated before I left has obviously left an extremely poor taste in my mouth about the military, which I know absolutely colours my opinion of this issue and obviously makes me take the military worship more personally. I’ve gone to therapy, even did joint sessions with John before. But I feel very at my wits end about all the pro-army propaganda that gets shoved in my face everytime we visit and I need help putting this in perspective and how to deal with it when it comes up.

How I have been dealing with it thus far: Mostly greyrocking. I try not to really say anything when it comes up, but honestly it’s literally EVERY time we visit. John has talked to her about it before. In one ear and out the other. A part of me feels that it might just be some jealousy over feeling like his career is seen as somehow more important than mine. (I know he’s their son and obviously they’re going to care more about what he’s done than what I have, I know the jealousy isn’t rational) But honestly I don’t know what else I can do. This is so frustrating and it makes me not want to visit them. Whatever advice is greatly appreciated.

quote:

Hey reddit,

I'm not sure if I'm being too harsh on my BF of 1 year, so here's the story.

Back Story: SO and I met about a year ago at a Nickelback concert at the Verizon Wireless Theater. I went alone because my friends despise Nickelback, and I was too embarrassed to tell them I was going. Turns out he went alone as well, because he told me in confidence (and drunkenly) that he didn't have any friends. I thought he was cute and charming and have a thing for lonely dudes. He bought me a beer, we sang all the songs together, and I ended up giving him my number that night.

Fast forward 15 months, and we're living together. This happened very recently, and as much as I love him I feel this aggression from within me developing. This aggression only happens when he eats those disgusting wise brand cheese doodles. He's eaten them everyday since we've been together, sometimes downing 3-4 bags in one sitting. My SO isn't large at all, I'd say 5'10 150-160 pounds, and healthy from what I know. But the thing that bothers me most are the stains he gets on his fingers after eating them.

One night while we were having sex, I got too grossed out by his fingers (cheese crumbs still intact on them) and asked him not to touch me before he washed his hands. He got very upset and I told him I think it's disgusting how many cheese doodles he eats everyday. I felt this anger within me while I told him this, and started to yell very loudly. He ignores me, turns on some Creed in the hopes of cheering me up. I responded by throwing my Subway sandwich at him, and he started to cry.

I feel really awful about my aggression, but I just can't stand those cheese doodle stained fingers. Am I crazy, or should I end things with my SO? Orange fingers are definitely a deal breaker.

TL;DR Get very aggressive towards my SO when he eats cheese doodles, threw a sandwich at him, wondering if I should end things now before his fingers are permanently stained.

CheesyDog posted:

r/relationshipsRelationships
I [28F] have this newfound aggression towards my SO [m/31] of 1 year because he eats off-brand cheese doodles?
u/creed_is_life

Xenocides posted:

shtty people protect each other.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [24F] boyfriend [25M] of 7 months carries his gun whenever we go out.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not punishing my daughter the way my boyfriend would have liked?

CheesyDog posted:

r/relationshipsRelationships
I [28F] have this newfound aggression towards my SO [m/31] of 1 year because he eats off-brand cheese doodles?
u/creed_is_life