/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I was about to say it would be hilarious if powerlifting competitions started handing out t-shirts for benching a plate and then I remembered Crossfit

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:01

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# ? May 15, 2024 04:40

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

Serephina posted:

This is a really hot one, and it's a shame people are skipping it. Sure, the wife is doing a very noble thing by adopting... 3 kids, one of which pregnant when she's minimum wage at 20. Holy gently caress, ok that can work with a shitton of work, you're a better person than me for sure. Also I'm not sure if she knows what she's getting into.

But the focus isn't the wife, it's the OP. He's 22, doesn't think he's ready to be a dad (fair), doesn't think they can realistically support 3 kids off of two min wage jobs (fair), and there's some weird sentiment about wanting his kids to be related to him by blood (questionable). The last point is a hot topic and entwined with abortion/adoption etc. It's a "selfish" sentiment only in that it's not as generous/benevolent as adoption. But a person's will/want/right to reproduction is kind of a fundamental thing -- I personally will never be a parent, yet would never berate a person for daring to have their own offspring instead of adoption. So his final point is kinda weak, but it's a common sentiment, not a wrong one per se, and also rather more common with younger people.

I just can't really find him to he an rear end in a top hat, even if the setup leaves him being super cold-hearted. Another persons toxic/poor decision making is having knock-on effects, and he's 22 years old and doesn't want that burden, and his wife making that decision for him is rough.

I can't blame him for bailing.

The most important part of all this to me is that they already discussed this years ago, and he made himself clear that he didn't want to raise these kids, and they agreed that it wasn't going to happen. It isn't like this situation suddenly popped up and they are swooping in to save the kids.

And calling someone selfish or questionable for "wanting to have his own children when he is ready to have them" instead of "adopting drug babies from someone else's family against your will" is a hell of a take. There's a reason you put your oxygen mask on first.

Sandwich Anarchist fucked around with this message at 17:39 on Mar 24, 2019

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:36

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

That's an awful lot of angry agreement you have there. I'm glad we're on the same page!

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:41

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

Serephina posted:

That's an awful lot of angry agreement you have there. I'm glad we're on the same page!

O...k? Are you trying to own me somewhere here, or?

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:42

Willfrey: Jul 20, 2007; Why don't the poors simply buy more money?; Fun Shoe

I want to be offended by something here can you clairfy for me what it is

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:51

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

I just got it: acid-washed shrinking dick syndrome is the same sex-swapped joke which has been made in this thread about how dumb the belief is that promiscuous women have big saggy vaginas.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:53

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Like a 20 year old saying he�d like to have his own kids isn�t really that big of a deal. :shrug:

Sorry someone in their early 20s isn�t woke enough for some of y�all. I�d love to know what opinions some of you had in your 20s.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 17:57

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

The woke goon opinion on kids is to refuse to have any of your own because the ocean will dry up tomorrow and you also bear the responsibility of easing the passage of every child you come across

# ? Mar 24, 2019 18:16

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

to be fair the ocean is super hosed, it won't dry up though so hurray for small favors.

Having kids right now is almost objectively a bad idea if you are trying to, say, ensure that they have a life that was better than yours. Not that it stops anyone, or that it really SHOULD stop anyone, but I get the sentiment.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 18:25

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Doc Hawkins posted:

I just got it: acid-washed shrinking dick syndrome is the same sex-swapped joke which has been made in this thread about how dumb the belief is that promiscuous women have big saggy vaginas.

The "fun" part is that it's still women's fault, somehow. I really want to see some MRA doofus pick up on this and start writing posts about how I HAD A TEN-INCHER BEFORE CORRUPT AMERICAN WOMEN ERODED MY DICK WITH THEIR PUSSY ACID!!!!!end female suffrage now

# ? Mar 24, 2019 18:53

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

like, you know one of these dudes has a bullshit evopsych essay in him "comparing" different ethnic groups' vaginal-pH stats he made up to how "traditional" he thinks women of that ethnicity are, and I don't want to read that essay but it feels inevitable now that the idea is unleashed on the earth

# ? Mar 24, 2019 18:56

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

it's a conspiracy by basic bitches

# ? Mar 24, 2019 18:57

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

CheesyDog posted:

it's a conspiracy by basic bitches

The Will Laren "Dick Ribs" comic, except the ribs are acid scars and hedonistic Western women demand them which is why they don't want pristine virgin dongs, and also the author is as serious as a heart attack

EDIT: "serious as a heart attack" both in the sense of "completely, agonizingly sincere about what he's writing" and "if you encounter this man somewhere without someone else around to call 911, you're probably gonna die"

Antivehicular fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Mar 24, 2019

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:03

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

I was kind of hoping that dick ribs would be some new slang for that cool v shaped bit of muscle dudes have going down from the hips. I'm down with women demanding more of that.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:37

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

CheesyDog posted:

I was about to say it would be hilarious if powerlifting competitions started handing out t-shirts for benching a plate and then I remembered Crossfit

*lifts bag of sugar*
I just benched a mini-200 pounds!

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:49

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (17F) dad (51M) shuts me down and calls me a �liberal� every time I try to express myself or tell him about my feelings towards his actions.

Hey Reddit, My dad is not very conservative, but he does have some radical views on certain topics. He will do things sometimes that make me uncomfortable, I talk to him about it, and he ends p getting defensive and we start arguing. It�s a cycle that repeats itself always, and I�m not able to handle it anymore.

When we�re out in public together, he�ll look at other women and make comments about them saying �She�s such a twig!� Or �She�s a porker.� I don�t feel comfortable when he tells me these things, especially considering he�s still married to my mom, so I told him that it�s a little weird that he makes these comments and I was asking him to stop in the politest way possible. He got defensive and angry and told me that I�m getting �very vocal� and that he wasn�t liking that.

Another time I was hungry and looking for something to eat and he says �if you keep eating, you�ll soon look like a porker and Lucas (my boyfriend) will leave you!� I�m 5�2 and 108 pounds, so I�m not even close to being overweight. I told him to please not say this to me because he knows I have low self esteem and he gets angry saying what I�m saying isn�t right and that�s can�t stand how liberal I�m becoming and that it�s just the truth.

He makes sexist comments in front of me, against women and girls we know personally and not personally, and when I try to remind him I�m a girl and that I don�t think what he�s saying is very respectful, he brushes it off and says again that I�m a �liberal snowflake.�

I�m so tired of this and just want to be able to talk to my dad without it getting political, but every time I express how I feel, he puts me down and tries to disregard my feelings. It�s upsetting and making me question even continuing to have a good relationship with him. This makes me sad because I love him and always have been a daddy�s girl, but as soon as I started to have my own views and stances on topics, it�s caused us to be bickering quite often. I�m not sure what to do Reddit, anybody have some advice/help?

TLDR; My dad and I are constantly bickering at each other because whenever I express my feelings towards what he says/does, he disregards my feelings and shuts me down, saying I�m being �too vocal,� or a �liberal.� I just want to be able to talk with him regularly and wish he could understand where I�m coming from. Any advice/help?

She should just ignore him as much as possible because engaging with Trumper rear end in a top hat chuds is pointless. His mind has been annihilated and will never return. Hopefully she's turning 18 soon enough and will leave to college, move in with her friends, or otherwise move away from her shitbag dad's home.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Mar 24, 2019

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:49

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Sunswipe posted:

*lifts bag of sugar*
I just benched a mini-200 pounds!

cross-fitters have plates that look like normal 45-lb plates that you'd find at any gym but only weigh like 10 or 20 pounds so they can stack a ton of them together and look like they're lifting a shitload

"I'm a bodybuilder!" *deadlifts 90 pounds"

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:52

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

QuarkJets posted:

cross-fitters have plates that look like normal 45-lb plates that you'd find at any gym but only weigh like 10 or 20 pounds so they can stack a ton of them together and look like they're lifting a shitload

"I'm a bodybuilder!" *deadlifts 90 pounds"

Bumper plates also exist at normal weightligting gyms so people who can't lift 135 yet can lift from a regular height. Other gyms have platforms to set up deadlifts for the same reason.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:55

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

It's very depressing that we live in a timeline where any joke you make, no matter how stupid, turns out to be true. Like some variant on Rule 34, only for the real world.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 19:59

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

One time I was briefly dating this girl into Crossfit and it sounded exactly like any MLM scheme when she explained it, except I guess you don't lose your entire savings and you simply waste your time on what is likely a completely arbitrary, totally inefficient workout routine.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:01

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (17F) dad (51M) shuts me down and calls me a �liberal� every time I try to express myself or tell him about my feelings towards his actions.

Hey Reddit, My dad is not very conservative, but he does have some radical views on certain topics. He will do things sometimes that make me uncomfortable, I talk to him about it, and he ends p getting defensive and we start arguing. It�s a cycle that repeats itself always, and I�m not able to handle it anymore.

When we�re out in public together, he�ll look at other women and make comments about them saying �She�s such a twig!� Or �She�s a porker.� I don�t feel comfortable when he tells me these things, especially considering he�s still married to my mom, so I told him that it�s a little weird that he makes these comments and I was asking him to stop in the politest way possible. He got defensive and angry and told me that I�m getting �very vocal� and that he wasn�t liking that.

Another time I was hungry and looking for something to eat and he says �if you keep eating, you�ll soon look like a porker and Lucas (my boyfriend) will leave you!� I�m 5�2 and 108 pounds, so I�m not even close to being overweight. I told him to please not say this to me because he knows I have low self esteem and he gets angry saying what I�m saying isn�t right and that�s can�t stand how liberal I�m becoming and that it�s just the truth.

He makes sexist comments in front of me, against women and girls we know personally and not personally, and when I try to remind him I�m a girl and that I don�t think what he�s saying is very respectful, he brushes it off and says again that I�m a �liberal snowflake.�

I�m so tired of this and just want to be able to talk to my dad without it getting political, but every time I express how I feel, he puts me down and tries to disregard my feelings. It�s upsetting and making me question even continuing to have a good relationship with him. This makes me sad because I love him and always have been a daddy�s girl, but as soon as I started to have my own views and stances on topics, it�s caused us to be bickering quite often. I�m not sure what to do Reddit, anybody have some advice/help?

TLDR; My dad and I are constantly bickering at each other because whenever I express my feelings towards what he says/does, he disregards my feelings and shuts me down, saying I�m being �too vocal,� or a �liberal.� I just want to be able to talk with him regularly and wish he could understand where I�m coming from. Any advice/help?

The best advice is: Ignore him. He knows it upsets you, and that's why he's doing it. Is it juvenile? Sure. Telling him that will only make him double down on the 'jokes'.
What she could do is turn the tables on him. Comment on every guy you see. Make sure you point out that Mom will leave if he keeps gaining weight like a pig. When he tells you to shut up, call him a snowflake who can't handle reality.

Be careful, because some men get nasty when confronted with reality.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:10

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Alternatively, work out how much you'd spend on caring for him in his old age. Subtract from that amount each time he pisses you off. "Mom, you're going to the best retirement home I could find where you'll be waited on hand and foot. Dad... you're going to be outside that retirement home, offering blowjobs to the staff in the hope they'll give you some out of date medications."

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:15

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

AIAA for not being happy about my best friend's new job?

quote:

My [30m] best friend [32m] grew up in an abusive household and had a pretty rough childhood. His younger siblings are both in prison or abusive relationships themselves, but he managed to get out of it after high school and join the military. He flourished there and got into intelligence work, which led to him getting a job in the private sector with a private defense contractor. Ever since he got there, he has always made a lot more than I have, which has never bothered me before because he really worked his rear end off for it, and I have been legit happy for him.

Recently, a friend of his that he used to work for got ahold of him from California and asked if he was looking for a job. My friend said maybe, and got some details. The job was working for a cyber security firm, something my friend knows literally nothing about; he doesn't even know how to set up his own wifi network. His buddy coached him on some terminology, he looked up some quick guides, had a couple phone interviews, and got the job. They paid to move him out to Cali, and he is getting over double what he was making before at the defense contractor job.

I am not happy for him, in fact I am pretty pissed off. I went to school and got a degree in my field, which I still work in, doing physical work that is really damaging to my body, and he now makes over 6 times what I do, with full benefits, without a degree of any kind. He fell into this job by bullshitting his way in, knowing nothing about the field or the work.I know that I'm jealous and should support my friend, but I am finding it really hard to be happy for him. I have family that I support, and we do fine if a little tight sometimes; he has a girlfriend, and does nothing but play online games and smoke weed, upgrading his PC to top of the line every year, buying whatever he wants non stop. He bought a brand new Dodge Challenger when he got to Cali, but his credit score is in the low 500s. He has always been terrible with his money, but hasn't needed to care because of his huge salary, and now it is even more crazy.

Am I an rear end in a top hat for being jealous? To be clear, I'm not angry that he makes more than me, I'm pissed that he does because of cheating his way into a field he knows nothing about while I struggle in a field I worked very hard to get into.

tl;dr
My best friend bullshitted his way into a field he knows nothing about, resulting in him making over 6 times my, a degree holding professional's, salary, and I'm not happy for him.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:15

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

AIAA for not being happy about my best friend's new job?

Why not ask your friend if he can get you a job?

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:20

Geoj: May 28, 2008; BITTER POOR PERSON

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

[My best friend bullshitted his way into a field he knows nothing about, resulting in him making over 6 times my, a degree holding professional's, salary, and I'm not happy for him.

...the moment where he realizes the piece of paper he spent several tens of thousands of dollars on isn't worth nearly as much as he's been led to believe.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:24

jobson groeth: May 17, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Fattie who didn't even run 5k wasn't called out in public on it either. The thing that did it was the constant pestering on the drive home because she didn't want to stop and get food for fattie.

If wearing a tshirt was all it took to be a part of something there are a lot more members of Nirvana than I remember from back in the day.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:24

GI_Clutch: Aug 22, 2000; by Fluffdaddy; Dinosaur Gum

quote:

I went to school and got a degree in my field, which I still work in, doing physical work that is really damaging to my body

I'm interested in what this guy's line of work is. I'm trying to think of college degrees that result in you performing lots of physical labor. Besides maybe some kind of field scientist doing research which includes lots of digging or something (?), I'm coming up blank. Or maybe he's talking trade school or I'm missing something obvious.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:36

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

GI_Clutch posted:

I'm interested in what this guy's line of work is. I'm trying to think of college degrees that result in you performing lots of physical labor. Besides maybe some kind of field scientist doing research which includes lots of digging or something (?), I'm coming up blank. Or maybe he's talking trade school or I'm missing something obvious.

Nursing

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

One time I was briefly dating this girl into Crossfit and it sounded exactly like any MLM scheme when she explained it, except I guess you don't lose your entire savings and you simply waste your time on what is likely a completely arbitrary, totally inefficient workout routine.

What are your feelings on rhabdo?

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:40

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I don�t think I�ve actually met anyone who did CrossFit long term and seemed healthy

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:45

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Fallom posted:

I don�t think I�ve actually met anyone who did CrossFit long term and seemed healthy

I know more people that have had to have surgeries from CrossFit related poo poo then any other sport.

Lots of shoulder surgeries.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:47

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

CheesyDog posted:

Nursing

Yeah that was my first thought too. He could be talking about a trade school though; I'm a chef and went to school for it, and I would probly call that a trade school.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:48

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Fallom posted:

I don’t think I’ve actually met anyone who did CrossFit long term and seemed healthy

Come on, Uncle Rhabdo seems perfectly healthy!

Ignore the failing kidneys.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 20:52

DJ Fuckboy Supreme: Feb 10, 2011; And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Khazar-khum posted:

Why not ask your friend if he can get you a job?

No poo poo. Networking is a skill a lot of people fail to develop, and it sounds like this guy is upset he got left in the dust.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:11

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

WrenP-Complete posted:

Bumper plates also exist at normal weightligting gyms so people who can't lift 135 yet can lift from a regular height. Other gyms have platforms to set up deadlifts for the same reason.

Yet strangely I've never, ever seen them at any gym I've been to, between 5 gyms in 3 cities. I'm sure other gyms do have them but it seems to be primarily a crossfit thing

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:12

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

CheesyDog posted:

Nursing

Nurses are constantly on their feet doing physical things that I imagine is probably damaging, but is that normally described as a form of "physical" labor? I thought that term applied more to construction work, moving services, etc. where physical stuff is literally all you do

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:15

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

DJ Fuckboy Supreme posted:

No poo poo. Networking is a skill a lot of people fail to develop, and it sounds like this guy is upset he got left in the dust.

You'd kind of need to be at least in the same sphere of professions I would think though. Homeboy was intel stuff with a security contractor, that probly segues way better into cyber security than nurse or field scientist or whatever. You can at least spin it to sort of fit. It would be like an office manager asking for a job at a high end restaurant; they'd get laughed at, assuming they even looked past the cover letter of the resume.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:16

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

QuarkJets posted:

Nurses are constantly on their feet doing physical things that I imagine is probably damaging, but is that normally described as a form of "physical" labor? I thought that term applied more to construction work, moving services, etc. where physical stuff is literally all you do

hospitals are full of incredibly obese people now

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:20

jobson groeth: May 17, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

DJ Fuckboy Supreme posted:

No poo poo. Networking is a skill a lot of people fail to develop, and it sounds like this guy is upset he got left in the dust.

Nepotism isn't networking.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:23

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# ? May 15, 2024 04:40

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

QuarkJets posted:

Nurses are constantly on their feet doing physical things that I imagine is probably damaging, but is that normally described as a form of "physical" labor? I thought that term applied more to construction work, moving services, etc. where physical stuff is literally all you do

I think it depends on WHERE you're a nurse. Sure, being a hospice nurse or working in a private practice is probly relatively cushy compared to being a trauma nurse in a large city.

jobson groeth posted:

Nepotism isn't networking.

Yeah, having a friend go "psst hey man, I can get you in here, here's the interview questions we ask and how to answer them" or whatever isn't what I would call a skill.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 21:23

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