Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

TEN loving YEARS of begging for and ignoring advice from the Finance and Career subforum.

Burt Sexual posted:

Can those following at home get a recap?

* how much have you saved for retirement. Just one number
* how much is being saved today, See above

* when do you expect to use/retire?
* how much do you expect to spend yearly?

Spreadsheet not allowed.

zaurg posted:

1) 29.8k
2) 10% of 87k annual salary, plus I get 2% employer match
3) I don't understand this question
4) No idea, maybe 75% of what I spend now, in future "year 2045" dollars calculating inflation? In conclusion, no idea.
5) Current age 41

# ? Apr 17, 2019 03:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 22:58

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

God drat zaurg is loving forty one?

# ? Apr 17, 2019 03:46

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

shame on an IGA posted:

TEN loving YEARS of begging for and ignoring advice from the Finance and Career subforum.

????

# ? Apr 17, 2019 04:07

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Zaurg owns

# ? Apr 17, 2019 04:54

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

TF CURES GENERATOR posted:

Zaurg owns

himself, quite often

# ? Apr 17, 2019 05:37

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Zaurg is either the best long form troll running or a dumbshit attention whore who�s been making GBS threads up the forum for a decade with posts about terrible decisions alternating with requests for advice that he ignores.

# ? Apr 17, 2019 05:46

The Valley Stared: Nov 4, 2009

It's like that dril tweet, but real.

The Valley Stared fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Apr 17, 2019

# ? Apr 17, 2019 06:12

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

The Valley Stared posted:

It's like that dril tweet, but real.

Surely he inspired that tweet.

# ? Apr 17, 2019 09:18

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Surely he inspired that tweet.

That�s actually fairly likely. Because early zaurg, before the divorce, had a problem feeding his family while buying wonderhangers and customized chocolate bars. There might have been candles too.

# ? Apr 17, 2019 11:52

Big K of Justice: Nov 27, 2005; Anyone seen my ball joints?

A Bad Poster posted:

It takes a few years, like you have to have residence in Canada for 3 or 4 years plus learn French to a passable level for the citizenship test, but it's very possible. Also you have to know French to a minimum of 2/2+ just to work for their government, with a 1 year probation before you have to know it at a 3/3+ level.

French language requirement for citizenship is only for immigrants applying in Quebec. Anywhere else in Canada you only need to demonstrate proficiency in either English or French. For government work, not speaking french becomes an issue only at higher levels of government, it's pretty much a requirement if you decide to run for Federal office in a big way.

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Canadian soldiers aren't required to be bilingual until you start hitting higher ranks, and "bilingual" is pretty generous with some of those folks, believe me.

"Ouvre la Door!"

:doh:

Big K of Justice fucked around with this message at 04:36 on Apr 18, 2019

# ? Apr 18, 2019 04:32

Ceiling fan: Dec 26, 2003; I really like ceilings.; Dead Man’s Band

Zaurg inspired the Sell Your Shitcoins gangtag. Really. I just found out. He makes something like $160,000 a year and is living paycheck to paycheck. Assuming he isn't trolling the financial advice subforum. His brilliant idea to save for retirement was to buy bitcoins on his credit card. And everyone who posted in that thread bought that gangtag hoping he'll wise up and pull his head out of his rear end. Or just to mock him.

I'll give him props. He's hanging tough through all his bad decisions. Feels good to be able to watch the trainwreck without someone up the chain coming after you for not throwing yourself in front of it to try to slow it down.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 05:44

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Ceiling fan posted:

His brilliant idea to save for retirement was to buy bitcoins on his credit card.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 06:26

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

https://mobile.twitter.com/sarahmirk/status/1118658432146595843

# ? Apr 18, 2019 20:24

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Ceiling fan posted:

His brilliant idea to save for retirement was to buy bitcoins on his credit card.

In late 2017 at the absolute top of the market.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 21:25

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Big K of Justice posted:

"Ouvre la Door!"

That's my favourite part of being posted to Quebec, honestly. Franglais is a beautiful thing, and with each side mangling the others language, you actually do learn a fair bit just from puzzling out what buddy's trying to say.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 19:06

Cage Kicker: Feb 20, 2009; End of the fiscal year, bitch.
MP's got time to order pens for year year, hooah?

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made; Lipstick Apathy

canyoneer posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/sarahmirk/status/1118658432146595843

A year in Guantanamo is a magical time

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:54

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

Cage Kicker posted:

A year in Guantanamo is a magical time

Depends on which side of the bars you're on.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 22:05

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

A Bad Poster posted:

Depends on which side of the bars you're on.

Curses are also magic.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 22:28

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

CainFortea posted:

Curses are also magic.

gently caress

# ? Apr 20, 2019 02:07

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

https://i.imgur.com/y4mTDXl.mp4
https://i.imgur.com/V93B0Fg.mp4
:ussr:

Memento fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Apr 20, 2019

# ? Apr 20, 2019 02:40

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

They tow those by the muzzle?

# ? Apr 20, 2019 02:48

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

CommieGIR posted:

They tow those by the muzzle?

I guess a combo muzzle brake/trailer hitch isn't the craziest thing in the world, but the sequence of events that leads to one of those cruising unescorted through an intersection has to have some more backstory to it.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:08

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

CommieGIR posted:

They tow those by the muzzle?

The US tows them like that, too.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:46

As Nero Danced: Sep 3, 2009; Alright, let's do this

Memento posted:

https://i.imgur.com/y4mTDXl.mp4
https://i.imgur.com/V93B0Fg.mp4

Won't you take a ride, ride, ride
On heavy metal
It's the only way that you can travel
Down that road

# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:48

stinkypete: Nov 27, 2007; wow

Blue windbreaker guy saved the day. He has run a skid loader before. I fear for how his hands ended up.

Edit: On closer look he doesn't appear to grab the tire and hold on but maybe the axle. Soldier dude up front on the muzzle did get it turned but with out the windbreaker guy it would have run through the median.

stinkypete fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Apr 20, 2019

# ? Apr 20, 2019 08:05

pkells: Sep 14, 2007; King of Klatch

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

That's my favourite part of being posted to Quebec, honestly. Franglais is a beautiful thing, and with each side mangling the others language, you actually do learn a fair bit just from puzzling out what buddy's trying to say.

I�m working with a Canadian unit right now, and from what their MWO was telling me, he�s never making chief because he refuses to learn French. He also went off on how Quebec is the most discriminatory, poo poo-talking province, and then continued on for a few minutes about how terrible they all were. We were supposed to have a unit from Quebec here, but they backed out. Too bad, because I�d love to have heard the other side of the story.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 09:23

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004

Ceiling fan posted:

Zaurg inspired the Sell Your Shitcoins gangtag. Really. I just found out. He makes something like $160,000 a year and is living paycheck to paycheck. Assuming he isn't trolling the financial advice subforum. His brilliant idea to save for retirement was to buy bitcoins on his credit card. And everyone who posted in that thread bought that gangtag hoping he'll wise up and pull his head out of his rear end. Or just to mock him.

I'll give him props. He's hanging tough through all his bad decisions. Feels good to be able to watch the trainwreck without someone up the chain coming after you for not throwing yourself in front of it to try to slow it down.

Best part is he bought when the price was like 3x current, near the bitcoin peak. Goons told him to sell when he could have broken even or made a hundred bucks or so. He refused, and so lost his shirt on it.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 12:06

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

pkells posted:

I�m working with a Canadian unit right now, and from what their MWO was telling me, he�s never making chief because he refuses to learn French. He also went off on how Quebec is the most discriminatory, poo poo-talking province, and then continued on for a few minutes about how terrible they all were. We were supposed to have a unit from Quebec here, but they backed out. Too bad, because I�d love to have heard the other side of the story.

These guys are the Canadian equivalent of racist rednecks*. You can see tinges of it in the Canadian politics and Cold War thread, when e.g military procurements come up and people are like �of course they did XYZ to appease Quebec, blah blah blah�, completely ignoring that the Canadian right could hardly care less about Quebec.

We have them in the French model too, but it�s a somewhat different angle.

*they�re also very racist, but then so are most Canadians.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 12:10

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

Memento posted:

https://i.imgur.com/y4mTDXl.mp4
https://i.imgur.com/V93B0Fg.mp4

A wild howitzer appears!

# ? Apr 20, 2019 15:24

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

aphid_licker posted:

A wild howitzer appears!

itzer

# ? Apr 20, 2019 17:15

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

pkells posted:

He also went off on how Quebec is the most discriminatory, poo poo-talking province, and then continued on for a few minutes about how terrible they all were.

Total shot in the dark, but I'm going to assume he's from an Albertan unit :allears:

# ? Apr 21, 2019 00:46

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

itzer

https://twitter.com/jkass99/status/1119809546820538368

# ? Apr 21, 2019 16:25

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

kimbo305 posted:

Pretty solid bingo score here:
https://imgur.com/gallery/BItVvDs
Was riding my bike to work 12 miles because my car broke down and crashed. Both bones in my forearm broke. My hand was limp and my forearm was bent at a 90* angle and dangling (think those cringe injury videos where it’s painful to watch but you can’t look away) Someone stopped and called an ambulance and I asked them to take me to the hospital where my wife works. Got transferred to another hospital because I have nerve damage and ended up having surgery putting plates, screws, and pins in my arm. I have been here for 4 days. My wife called and said she wants a divorce because she’s embarrassed I took an ambulance for a broken bone and because the ambulance is expensive (having a lot of money issues which is definitely not related to her spending >$1,000/mo on her horse) Didn’t even ask how I was. I guess though I’m relieved. She clearly doesn’t actually care about me anyway. Now I can get back to the Army, which is the only job I’ve ever had that I actually loved, which I left because she threatened to kill herself if I didn’t get out.

EDIT: We've been together for 9 years, married for three. I'm 24. She was raised by a mentally abusive mother, and has an eating disorder, depression, and has tried to kill herself multiple times, many of which I've stopped. Anyways. Had a 4.0 GPA. Ended up going to community college to be with her, then she went away to college and I was left at home. Ended up getting a job at USPS (I hate it, driving me crazy) She finished her Bachelor's in Youth and Family Counseling with $50,000 of debt. She then worked part-time making ~$10, whatever. Meanwhile, I'm paying for everything else. EVERYTHING ELSE. I have no spare money. So, anytime a car broke down or something, we were in a major bind. She never helped me because she 'couldn't afford to.' Enter the horse, which I paid $2,700 for. She started paying all the poo poo for that, and I had to start paying her regular bills because she could only afford to pay for the horse. I didn't care because she loved the horse and it made her happy.

Few years later, we end up in a tight spot again. I suggest me joining the National Guard since I'll be at Basic making money, and we can ride it out. She agrees and acts super supportive until I leave. then she starts sending me letters saying that I 'abandoned her.' I did really well in Basic. 141 GT score, Student Platoon Sergeant, 280 PT score, and I loving loved it. My DS loved me, she had my entire active Army career planned out as an Apache Pilot. I graduated Basic with every honor I could've gotten. My wife met me, and she drove me to AIT. That was the mistake, because that's when she 'coerced' me to come home.
I hated it, but I couldn't say no.

Now, over a year later, we're both miserable, and she says it's all my fault. Because I don't have a better paying job. Because I work so much. Because of 'what I've done to her,' (the Army). She controls everything, our house, what I wear, everything. Because 'I owe her.' She's constantly embarrassed by me because her family (who I get along with fine) is all about sports and everything, and I'm more Star Trek and video games. She never shows any interest in anything I like. She's stopped keeping track of how much she's spent on her horse because she doesn't want to know, but I estimate it's about $40,000 in 3 years. I've wanted this to be over for a while, but I could never do it, because what if she killed herself because of me? I couldn't live with that. Even after everything, I do love her. I'm just glad it's over.