Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for reporting a classmate who was trying to help me, but made me extremely uncomfortable?

quote:

Sorry for the format guys, I’m on the phone!

I’ll be Me Gf will be G Friend will be F

I’ve been dating my gf for two years now and she’s great. She’s super smart, we share a lot of interests and until now I never took her for the jealous type.

I grew up with F, we live in the same street and our mothers are friends. Besides that, after my grandma came to live with us(my grandpa died), they became really close. They’re very much alike and the whole family thinks she’s great. Honestly, she’s considered part of the family. My brothers/cousins/parents all buy her christmas/birthday presents, she spends a lot of holidays on my parents house and she helps them if they need anything since I now live out of the state.

I took my gf to my state to visit my parents and I was very excited. The introductions seemed to go okay, my gf got along with my dad and was already sharing recipes with granny. Later that night we went out to hang out with some friends, F and some of my brothers. They seemed to like each other and my gf laughed a lot(F is hilarious).

On the next couple of days F came to my house a lot of times, which is very normal to us. She has dinner at least once a week there and she and my grandma take salsa dancing classes together(I find it kinda cute). My brothers treat her like a little sister and my grandma called her a ‘time lost twin’

After about 3 days my gf pulled me aside and said she felt very unconfortable with F relationship with my family. She said that it looked like we were married by the way she was treated. I tried telling her that everyone likes her(F) like a cousin or something but she wasn’t buying. She kept telling me that it wasn’t appropriate for a strange women to be so close to a family and that everyone looks like they’d rather see me dating her. She asked me to distance myself and talk with F about the whole family involvement thing.

I find this very weird... F is like a sister to me and the rest of my family. She literally talked me out of suicide once, she’s not doing anything wrong. She’s not romantically interested on me and she’s great with my grandma/little brother.

I can’t cut her out bc I honestly don’t think she’s doing anything wrong and so doesn’t deserve this treatment, it’s not really just me as she has close ties with my family. Thruth be told, if I did that my brothers/parents/grandparents wouldn’t forgive me and considering they are adults I don’t believe I could prevent them from having contact.

Overall, I feel like everyone would be punished and it’s not really fair.

To make things worse, we had this discussion close to the bathroom my brother was in and he heard everything. My grandma still hasn’t called me over(which she will) but everyone has been colder to her and it shows.

I don’t know how to navigate this situation. How can I put my gf on ease about F and how I can smooth things over with the rest of my family?

TL;DR: my gf doesn’t feel confortable with the close ties my friend has with my family and wants me to cut her off. I feel this is unfair since she did nothing wrong and she’s like a sister to the family

Edit: corrected some grammatical mistakes and tried to make things more clear. Sorry guys, not a native speaker

quote:

Hey everyone, I know I said I’d update but I wasn’t in the right place to write about it.

I guess to the surprise of nobody(except for myself), G and I broke up.

After posting I talked with my family and explained the situation, that I didn’t communicate well and whatnot. They were actually very understanding but the mood was still kinda awkward and unconfortable. Besides that, my youngest brother wasn’t on his best behaviour and he can hold a grudge. He’s 13 tho so I tried to cut off some slack(and knowing that F has been helping him with some girl problem I guess he was scared of losing a big sister figure), he was kinda short and sassy but nothing too bad.

We ended up leaving earlier bc I knew she was not feeling very well and I didn’t want her to feel pressured or something. We talked during the ride and I apologized for not being very clear and made sure to say I don’t have, never had any kind of romantic/sexual feeling for F, and neither does she. And that my family doesn’t want us to end up together.

I think she felt kinda conflicted and asked for a few days by herself.

We met up and she broke up with me, said that even tho, rationally she knows I would never cheat and that she believes me, she can’t feel confortable in a relationship like this.

In terms if break ups it was pretty ok, we both cried, then we talked and laughed but I think it was for the best, remaining in the relationship would only hurt us both.

Overall, she was my first serious gf, a great person and I’m glad we had this. I’m sure she’ll find someone amazing.

I’m taking some time off dating but I’m fine, I guess.

Ironically tho, F got a bf! I met him and they are perfect for each other, I happy for her. I told her why G and I broke up, she felt kinda guilty but I told her it was no one fault and advised her to explain clearly to her bf

TL;DR: I broke up with my GF, F got a bf, I’m taking some time off dating

Edit: Holy crap. Ok, the responses here have blown up and they pissed me off enough to edit and clarify some things.

Before you comment, please read the OP, the link is on top. A lot of people came here assuming things that were said on the last post so yeah.

F is part of the family. I don’t care if she’s not approved by the goverment, not blood related, “just a neighbour”. We grew up together and my family treats her like another kid. We cried when she got into her dream college, my parents scolded hef when she did something wrong, took her side if they thought she was right(and the opposite too).

I do have fault in this situation bc I didn’t communicate properly with G and gave her the wrong impression of what me and F had, I admit this, I talked to her and apologized.

I have no romantic feelings for F, nor does my family wants to us to end up together. Yes, it is possible for a woman and a men be platonic friends, and that’s what we are.

I didn’t discuss with my family when G was there, not really sure why people thought I did. She was out and I explained to everyone why she felt unconfortable and made it clear it was a communication issue.

Everyone there saying my family shouldn’t be involved in our relationship: this wasn’t just about us. This was about a family friend. I don’t agree with what my brother did and talked with him but they do have the right to be aware if someone wants their son/brother to cut off contact with someone who is always at the house.

I’m not angry at G and she’s not angry at me. We have different deal breakers and that’s ok. I can respect this and she can respect my family dynamic.

Stop trying to turn F involvement with my family into a bad thing, it is not. When someone posts about homophobic parents, people are quick to say “choose your own family!” And similar things. Why is it wrong for F to be close to my family like this? Do we really live in a society so closed off by ‘blood ties’ that we can’t make our own family of choice unless we don’t have any other option?

I feel sorry for you guys. This mentality of “once I get a SO I don’t need anyone else” is toxic and immature.

For everyone saying they’re glad G broke up with me, I’m glad too. She would never be happy in this family dynamic and I would never be happy if I had to cut F off. We had different values and that’s ok.

So yeah, just bc this would be a deal breaker for you, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Get off your high horse, just bc you’re unconfortable with something doesn’t mean it’s inherently wrong.

Pirate Radar posted:

This one is tricky because obviously from the title you’re ready to deus vult but then it turns out it’s a girl?

Clawtopsy posted:

Seriously. If you are planning on giving your child a device, plan when you are going to give it to them, and plan a 'savings' fund that they are a part of that will come to fruition when you were planning to give it to them anyway.

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

If it was just the posts I'd suspect it was a troll, but there are so many defensive comments on all three posts (horse post is three months before concert post) that I think it's real.

Gluten Freeman posted:

My(23M) GF(24F) doesn’t feel confortable with my friend(23F) and wants me to cut off contact with her. I don’t think this is fair.


(Update)My(23M) GF(24F) doesn’t feel confortable with my friend(23F) and wants me to cut off contact with her. I don’t think this is fair

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for wearing a black dress to a wedding?

I am a 21F college student currently living on student loans. I come from a poor family and had never been to a traditional wedding before. My boyfriend, same age as me, also a student, comes from an upper middle class family that is very "all-american". They do things like...get along...and go on trips together, and water-ski. Stuff that seemed fictional to me before. We have been together for about a year and a half. His parents have always been kind to me.

His cousin was getting married this weekend and I was his +1. The wedding was a few hours out of town and so we got a ride with his parents. I own two dresses - a cheap cotton one and a nicer black cocktail dress I got from an outlet store. I can't afford to spend money on new clothes. I pulled the dresses out while we were driving and asked my boyfriend's mom which one I should wear. After a minute of looking at them, she said I should wear the black dress. I got changed during a pit stop and no one commented on my dress for the rest of the day. We had a great time at the wedding.

My boyfriend lives with his parents. Today I went over to hang out and his mom wouldn't look me in the eye when I said hello. I asked my boyfriend if she was okay once we were alone. He rolled his eyes and said she was being silly about the dress I wore to the wedding. Apparently people aren't supposed to wear black to weddings, because it's a color for funerals. His grandmother told his mom afterwards that my dress was embarrassing and inappropriate. His mom passed this message on to him and said I should have planned my outfit better.

My boyfriend thought this was pretty funny but I felt really humiliated and foolish. I didn't even think to run my outfit by anyone. I knew you shouldn't wear white to a wedding but I had never heard of not wearing black. He was laughing about it and obviously thought his mom was being unreasonable, so I tried to just let it roll off my back. However, later we went up to the kitchen and his mom was there. She asked if my boyfriend had spoken to me in a very cold tone. I immediately felt awful and started to apologize. My boyfriend was totally silent and looked uncomfortable. His mom said to be more careful in the future and that I should also apologize to his grandmother and his cousin. She asked my boyfriend to give me their phone numbers.

We went back to his room and he tried to comfort me but also asked if I wanted the numbers so I could get it over with. I felt like the world's biggest and smallest rear end in a top hat simultaneously. I took the numbers and left before I could start crying.

I don't know what to do. I barely know his grandmother or cousin. Calling them seems insane, but I also don't want to be on his family's bad side because they're so important to him. And I could have taken two seconds to google "wedding dress code" or something, but I didn't. I just grabbed the same old dresses I always wear.

What do I do? AITA here? How do I make this better?

Gluten Freeman posted:

My(23M) GF(24F) doesn’t feel confortable with my friend(23F) and wants me to cut off contact with her. I don’t think this is fair.


(Update)My(23M) GF(24F) doesn’t feel confortable with my friend(23F) and wants me to cut off contact with her. I don’t think this is fair

Barudak posted:

An 8 year old who thinks chicken nuggets are plant material is worrying in and of itself.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Clawtopsy posted:

Seriously. If you are planning on giving your child a device, plan when you are going to give it to them, and plan a 'savings' fund that they are a part of that will come to fruition when you were planning to give it to them anyway.

Power Khan posted:

AITA for saying my best friends mom is hot?
Ok, so yesterday I was up at the gas station picking up a drink and getting my friend a couple of things for when she gets off work to surprise her. When we were leaving I see her mom so I walk over and start talking to her. While we're talking she asks me if I can help her do something later and I agree so she gives me her number to text me about it. So I get home and I text her, "hey, I got this hotties number at the gas station today." So she asks who and I say her mom did for getting stuff. She BLOWS up, tells me to gently caress off and blocks me. Now I've known this girl for years and I'm moving in with her but she went off the handle over this. AITA for making the joke?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for reporting a classmate who was trying to help me, but made me extremely uncomfortable?

quote:

Ann continued, “you are the bird that could soar to the highest point in the sky, but cowers in the shadows”, & proceeds to make a zillion other, “you are the…” analogies. She starts holding my hands, telling me over and over I need to “blossom.” She began crying, & expressing fear that I am “not blossoming.” “Most people have blossomed by your age, but you haven’t. I’m worried for you, [OP]. I want you to have a wonderful life, I want you to be the bird that soars high in the sky, but...you have to turn things around.”

MarcusSA posted:

Lol this sure is funny but it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Power Khan posted:

She likes the guy and her mom stole her dudes before.

MarcusSA posted:

Lol this sure is funny but it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

MarcusSA posted:

It seems like she’s his girlfriend though? They are moving in together? I dunno.

It’s funny though and the joke is as old as time.

Serephina posted:

Where's the update post? He's removed his first post and I'm reading through his comments on it but not seeing anything definite?

quote:

I don't know what to think. The situation is that a buddy I've known for a few years who is dating another friend of mine has informed me that my girlfriend that I've known for 8 months is lying about her occupation. He is an EMT and she claims to be a nurse at a certain hospital in our city. EMT buddy swears up and down there is no way she works there.

This is really shocking to me. She's in scrubs all of the time, I've picked her up from the hospital she claims to work at, she has medical books all over her apartment etcetera.

EMT buddy and my girlfriend have only met once on a double date with my other friend. They did talk shop a little bit and he's basing this accusation on that one conversation. He told me he would bet money she had never stepped foot on the ward she claims to work in. For reference, she says she's a psych nurse at this prestigious hospital and EMT buddy asked her which unit she worked on. Apparently there are two at this hospital, the "East" and "West" unit. He tested her by asking "do you work on "North" or "south" and she said, "north" and that she referred to patients being violent as a "code grey" and that is not the terminology used at that hospital. There were more small, technical details he claimed she got wrong like their nurse's stations being open and not enclosed spaces. Things like that.

On one hand, why would she lie about being a nurse? But also what does he gain from lying about her lying about being a nurse? I don't know jack about the medical profession, to be frank. This whole thing makes me feel crazy.

How do I even bring this up?

TLDR EMT friend has called out my girlfriend as pretending to be a nurse.

UPDATE: Well this chick is batshit insane. Mystery solved. She doesn't work at the nice hospital, she works at a not so nice hospital and not as a nurse but as a phlebotomy technician or whatever the gently caress. She failed out of nursing school and is seriously obsessed. She said she got a TBI her third year into her bachelors program and was unable to finish. I may have forgiven all of that but it's clear she has a tenuous, at BEST, grasp on reality and went on a bizarre rant about how she could be a doctor, how she saves lives, she's a genius; she knows more than anyone in the world when it comes to the medical field, she claimed she could perform surgery on people, that she had healing powers, that she's the greatest person in the world, just on and on... seriously unhinged type poo poo. I had to tap out because she was really scaring me.

I've never been in such close proximity to someone having a mental breakdown. I wasnt supposed to see her until yesterday and I ambushed her at her apartment. Finally I just had to leave. I feel bad about confronting her. I probably shouldn't have left her alone at all after that.

Power Khan posted:

AITA for telling my nephew where chicken nuggets come from
Not the A-hole
You know those videos where kids realize where foods come from? My nephew is one of those kids who couldn’t handle it. From the time he was 5 to now (8 years old) he’s refused to eat animals--or so he thinks.

My sister has been telling him that all the foods she makes for him (chicken nuggets, fish sticks, breaded meats that don’t really LOOK like an animal) are made of plants. Except I didn’t know that!

So last week, he was over my house playing with some nuggets that were stamped out to be shaped like dinosaurs. He said “Rawr!” and I said “Don’t you mean cluck-cluck? It’s from a chicken!” And he said “No there’s two kinds of chicken, one we eat and one that clucks.” And I started setting him straight, but when he understood what I was saying he really started crying and freaking out.

I called my sister and she exploded on me for bringing this whole house of cards down. I told her well why don’t you buy some beans/peas/nuts instead of lying, but of course criticizing a parent is a war crime! AITA?

Power Khan posted:

AITA for telling my nephew where chicken nuggets come from
Not the A-hole
You know those videos where kids realize where foods come from? My nephew is one of those kids who couldn’t handle it. From the time he was 5 to now (8 years old) he’s refused to eat animals--or so he thinks.

My sister has been telling him that all the foods she makes for him (chicken nuggets, fish sticks, breaded meats that don’t really LOOK like an animal) are made of plants. Except I didn’t know that!

So last week, he was over my house playing with some nuggets that were stamped out to be shaped like dinosaurs. He said “Rawr!” and I said “Don’t you mean cluck-cluck? It’s from a chicken!” And he said “No there’s two kinds of chicken, one we eat and one that clucks.” And I started setting him straight, but when he understood what I was saying he really started crying and freaking out.

I called my sister and she exploded on me for bringing this whole house of cards down. I told her well why don’t you buy some beans/peas/nuts instead of lying, but of course criticizing a parent is a war crime! AITA?

quote:

Pretty much as it says. My brother booked his wedding on my birthday this year and it's an abroad wedding so no one is invited. He said he forgot that it was my birthday and so did his fiancée. We are not super close but trying to build a stronger relationship together. We still see each other on birthdays and such. My bf thinks I'm over reacting and it was simply a mistake. I have brought it up jokingly at family events and I was told to drop it as I was sounding like an rear end in a top hat. (Didn't intend to offend) But I'm upset as now my birthday will also forever be my brother's wedding anniversary. I'm just a bit hurt I guess and want to know if it's right for me to be upset or if I'm over reacting.

Edit: someone mentioned I should add this. I don't make a huge deal of it with everyone. My brother normally starts a joke of it and I continue it and then his fiancée goes all quiet and seems to get upset. Its not like I'm going 'cant believe your getting married on my birthday!' all the time, it's more of a 'haha no excuse for forgetting my birthday now bro' but his fiancée seems to have the bigger issue and I think I'm more upset that bringing up my birthday is quickly becoming something I'm told I shouldn't do as it's upsetting her and I'm an rear end in a top hat for it. Even though me and my brother are actually bonding a bit over the joke.

Edit 2: messaged fiancée after reading comments to apologize for being an rear end. She responded saying my brother will no longer be attending my birthdays in future as it is now Thier day and she plans to always go away for it. I said ok as we can go for my birthday lunch another day around the same time. She's gone a bit weird now and has started telling me how they will not make my 30th birthday (3 years away) I'm confused.

ad090 posted:

AITA for being upset that my brother planned his wedding on my birthday?

quote:

I don't think she is that kind of person but she disowned her own family and as the years have gone by seems to be distancing herself from our family too.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA for telling my financially clueless sister her “exciting skin care opportunity” is a multi-level marketing scam?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA to keep eating foods that gross out my gf?

Gonna keep this short. My gf and I, both 25, have traveled extensively through SE Asia in the past 2 years. I love Asian foods and exploring night markets trying different street foods is one of my favorite things.

Last year we had a big blow up while we were in Bangkok at a big night market. I wanted to try a fried soft shell crab and my gf thought it was disgusting and unclean. I said there were tons of people here, including foreigners, and I want to be able to try something. I then wanted some fried squid and snails and she said the same thing. After a while I just said gently caress it and ate it anyways because we were there for only one night. She got incredibly upset at me.

We’re going to Hong Kong in two weeks and she brought up last year’s incident. She wants me to promise that I won’t eat anything she considers too gross, unrecognizable, and foreign. I say no and she asks me why I’m being so stubborn over this one thing that bothers her so much. She says it nearly makes her retch watching me put that kind of stuff in my mouth in some street alley. She says it’s the one habit of mine she finds extremely unbearable.

AITA if I just say no and keep eating the things I want? I get that it grosses her out but I feel like she’s being really controlling by making me agree to ask for her “permission” for everything I put in my mouth. It doesn’t help that she’s very picky and consider 50% of Asian foods to be “too gross” anyways. If I went her way we’d be having all of our meals in the hotel.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA to keep eating foods that gross out my gf?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA to keep eating foods that gross out my gf?

Gonna keep this short. My gf and I, both 25, have traveled extensively through SE Asia in the past 2 years. I love Asian foods and exploring night markets trying different street foods is one of my favorite things.

Last year we had a big blow up while we were in Bangkok at a big night market. I wanted to try a fried soft shell crab and my gf thought it was disgusting and unclean. I said there were tons of people here, including foreigners, and I want to be able to try something. I then wanted some fried squid and snails and she said the same thing. After a while I just said gently caress it and ate it anyways because we were there for only one night. She got incredibly upset at me.

We’re going to Hong Kong in two weeks and she brought up last year’s incident. She wants me to promise that I won’t eat anything she considers too gross, unrecognizable, and foreign. I say no and she asks me why I’m being so stubborn over this one thing that bothers her so much. She says it nearly makes her retch watching me put that kind of stuff in my mouth in some street alley. She says it’s the one habit of mine she finds extremely unbearable.

AITA if I just say no and keep eating the things I want? I get that it grosses her out but I feel like she’s being really controlling by making me agree to ask for her “permission” for everything I put in my mouth. It doesn’t help that she’s very picky and consider 50% of Asian foods to be “too gross” anyways. If I went her way we’d be having all of our meals in the hotel.

quote:

[–]Ilovestreetfoods345

[S] 691 points 8 hours ago
She likes the culture and history. Shes also a budding photographer so it’s great for her career.

Food wise she’s not adventurous at all and would eat at McDonald’s every meal if possible because she doesn’t trust regional produce. I love local foods so I try to eat everything, but it makes our meals while traveling difficult.

QuarkJets posted:

Can't really complain about someone accidentally telling your kids the truth when that person is unaware of the elaborate quilt of lies you've sewn

Parent probably doesn't know how to make beans

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA to keep eating foods that gross out my gf?