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QuarkJets posted:It's so people can talk poo poo about or overtly objectify their significant others it's nbd if you're kind of a shallow and lovely person but getting really excited about having a regular "guys night" or "girls night" is a red flag imo Grape posted:I have not now or ever enjoyed or desired ONE GENDER NIGHT event crap. Like you're 30 goddamn years old and still want boys club house playdates. "One last thing is we all hang our pretty regularly as a group anyways. So Kim sees us all once every week or so anyways. It's not that the guy's never get to see each-other, but we just haven't had a guy's only night in nearly a year. " It's not a regular thing and they hang out as couples weekly, so it's not like the guy can't socialize with women like people.
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May 4, 2019 01:18
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I (20F) can’t seem to convince him (21M) that sex is not competitive sports. Been together for 6 months. As it says in the title, he thinks of sex as a sport basically — he always needs to outdo himself, last more, make me cum more etc. leading to obvious disappointment on his end. Then he becomes super insecure about it and I have to reassure him endlessly. More often than not it’s actually pretty great sex, but still, he can’t give himself a break. He treats it as a competition against himself, he has to do better (in his own opinion) every single time. And it’s really tiring trying to shelter his feelings from himself — I’ve caught myself faking a 3rd orgasm because last time he’d make me cum twice so if I didn’t come three times this time I would have to cheer him up and etc. I’ve already told him sex is an intimate moment and not a sport but he doesn’t seem to get it. He started having sex a bit later in life than most people so I get that he’s insecure but he’s actually great in bed and I always love the sex, but unless he feels like he absolutely outdid himself he will be sad and I will have to cheer him up and he will say I’m lying to make him feel better and it’s soooo exhausting. What do I do? TL;DR: boyfriend is extremely insecure about sex, treats it as competition with himself, needs to outdo himself every time. I’m tired of reassuring him right after we just had sex. What to do?
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May 4, 2019 01:21
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QuarkJets posted:I didn't even read the story lol I was just responding to that other person The dude didn't throw a tantrum. The wife threw a tantrum when her expensive pizza from across town got shot down. Are you married? I've been with my wife for almost 20 years at this point, married for 14 of those years. We are happy together and in fact our marriage get better every year. Sometimes you want to do something separately from your partner. It is easy to go to functions together and people look at you as a single unit and you operate that way. Most of my non-work, non-sleep time is taken up with family responsibilities. It's nice to have something away from all that. Sometimes men want guy time and sometimes women want gal time and generally speaking if your spouse sets that up you shouldn't try to insert yourself into it.
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May 4, 2019 01:23
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lol you guys sure have some hot takes on poo poo. He said he would pick up and pay for the pizza which is cool what isn't cool is when someone changes all that and wants you to drive further for more expensive poo poo. The feeling I'm picking up is he would have been fine with her being there if she hadn't made the request for more expensive pizza and get all pissy when he says no. Having a Guys / girls night is a perfectly normal thing to do.
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May 4, 2019 01:27
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (20F) can’t seem to convince him (21M) that sex is not competitive sports. He's only 21,how does that make him sexually active that much later than most people? The guy sounds super insecure, which makes me question how great the sex really is.
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May 4, 2019 01:36
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Panfilo posted:He's only 21,how does that make him sexually active that much later than most people? The guy sounds super insecure, which makes me question how great the sex really is. Kids are having sex at like 14 these days. Also she said the sex is pretty great most of the time but yeah he sounds really insecure.
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May 4, 2019 01:41
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Wait, so she has to increase her number of orgasms/"orgasms" every loving time or he has a sulk? What is his loving endgame here, her just coming every loving second of the sex?
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May 4, 2019 01:42
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Yeah everyone knows that the first one to finish wins.
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May 4, 2019 01:44
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So is this guy setting a timer every time or did he make a chart on the wall with gold stickers for each orgasm or what? I'm sure she's got other things to do than marathon sex every time, so what's his end goal? He can't just keep having longer and longer sex. Ugh I can't really imagine having sex with someone who's more into mentally counting off achievements than actually having the sex. He's probably right to be insecure, sounds like he sucks at it.
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May 4, 2019 01:46
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Yeah everyone knows that the first one to finish wins. I am always a winner! Well to be fair its easy to be number 1 when you are the only one in the game.
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May 4, 2019 01:47
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Fake nurse story continues: AITA for contacting my ex girlfriend's estranged relatives to handle her? quote:This is a really long story that I must condense for character limit. I hope the sense of it all is intact.
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May 4, 2019 01:47
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ad090 posted:Fake nurse story continues: Your friends are stupid assholes and you did the right thing 100%. God drat man get smarter friends and don't deal with crazy people.
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May 4, 2019 01:49
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I think guys/girls nights are dumb - it's not a thing I do. But, if your partner has one, inserting yourself in and demanding changes to it sounds pretty insufferable.
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May 4, 2019 01:52
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Really guys/girls nights are a way for both of you to continue having lives outside of each other. My wife and I have been together for 12 years, living together for 6 of those and married for only 6ish months. The older we get, the harder it is to just spontaneously do things with friends, it's even harder to do things with just our friends and not everyone's SO. I loving love my wife but we need time apart as well, gently caress sometimes I need to talk to someone else ABOUT my wife over a beer so I can get perspective and clear my head; I don't trash on her or something but I need advice or sometimes just someone to complain to.
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May 4, 2019 01:58
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Another justification is if you and your spouse have very different hobbies. There's a few activities I enjoy that my wife has zero interest in (and vice versa). Usually in our case the other person wouldn't be terribly interested anyway.
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May 4, 2019 02:18
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I've spent so much time with my wife and daughters I'm literally unfit for male company I've been unsocialized
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May 4, 2019 02:19
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MarcusSA posted:lol you guys sure have some hot takes on poo poo. Exactly this, plus he knows her personality well enough that he saw the red flags about her trying to control her spouse's fun. People like that suck to be around in general regardless of gender, it turns a fun evening into having one idiot trying to control everything while the other either takes it like a doormat or has to wrangle their spouse like a loving toddler having a meltdown.
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May 4, 2019 02:33
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tactlessbastard posted:I've spent so much time with my wife and daughters I'm literally unfit for male company Watch a bunch of This Old Tony videos on YouTube and then buy a lathe. You'll feel much better, and you can teach your daughters to be machinists. I've been married for 20 years and the goon take on relationships is far more entertaining than the stories they copy from Reddit. Independent social circles are great. They simultaneously give you a bit of space and make you appreciate coming home even more.
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May 4, 2019 02:35
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:As a cheapskate, I'm... conflicted on this. While this case is certainly gauche, I'm fine with a small tip on a literal shot pouring. As far as tipping goes, I give less if they literally open a beer for me vs make me a cocktail. Although this guy... you're blowing money on a single shot you can probably afford to tip bigger / proportionally. If you can afford a $600 pour of bourbon, the bartender almost certainly cannot. It’s part of the social contract. If you are big enough to order something that extravagant, tip 20-25% or whatever you normally would tip for good service. I say this as someone who has literally never worked in the service industry.
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May 4, 2019 02:37
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therobit posted:
Yeah that basically jives with what I wrote: "it's okay if you and a bunch of friends want to get away from your SOs every now and then, people should have lives independent of their spouses" When I read your post it read to me like you had to constantly keep up appearances around a spouse, and that the guys night out is a pretext for relaxing those tendencies. That seems unhealthy Maybe that's not what you meant Yes I am married, my spouse and I do some things together and some things apart, we have shared as well as separate friends, and (I am pretty sure at least) we don't feel like we have to act differently when we're around each other VS not.
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May 4, 2019 02:45
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:If you can afford a $600 pour of bourbon, the bartender almost certainly cannot. It’s part of the social contract. If you are big enough to order something that extravagant, tip 20-25% or whatever you normally would tip for good service. I say this as someone who has literally never worked in the service industry. I've been I corporate environments where this kind of stuff happens and it seems to be about $100 for a single item. Running a tab for multiple people over the course of the night is different and is 20%, but expensive shots for a large group seems to be a $100 bill. A single pour, no matter the cost, should probably be about the same.
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May 4, 2019 02:51
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:If you can afford a $600 pour of bourbon, the bartender almost certainly cannot. It’s part of the social contract. If you are big enough to order something that extravagant, tip 20-25% or whatever you normally would tip for good service. I say this as someone who has literally never worked in the service industry. You don't tip 20-25% on one $600 pour. "Hey, thanks for the 1.5 oz pour and 2 min of your time. Here's $120." gently caress off. You tip waiters 20% because the service is quite involved and time-consuming. Anywhere between $20-50 is a reasonable tip for one (ridiculously expensive) drink, in my opinion, unless you're truly just flashing cash. 20% was never the norm for bartenders anyway. Whether I'm getting a $3 beer or an $8 beer, you're getting $1 for a tip. For a more expensive cocktail: a bit more. It's completely subjective, which is why there's debate about it to begin with. For a large tab with lots of individual drinks, sure I'll tip 20%, but that's actually shorting the bartender sometimes. So, you have to keep that in mind. Then there's special circumstances, of course. For instance, if the bartender is doing some sort of involved service with a lot of background information about wines or whiskeys or something. Then, sure... bigger tip. (I have never and will never buy a $600 pour.)
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May 4, 2019 02:59
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As a bartender if you want to get bigger tips from me you will have a 100% success rate if you are a handsome dude and you call me sweetie. You don't even have to be gay.
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May 4, 2019 03:01
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M.C. McMic posted:You don't tip 20-25% on one $600 pour. "Hey, thanks for the 1.5 oz pour and 2 min of your time. Here's $120." gently caress off. Leon Einstein fucked around with this message at 03:21 on May 4, 2019 |
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May 4, 2019 03:06
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empty sea posted:a chart on the wall with gold stickers for each orgasm or what? Stealing this idea thanks. 🙏🏼
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May 4, 2019 03:16
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M.C. McMic posted:You don't tip 20-25% on one $600 pour. "Hey, thanks for the 1.5 oz pour and 2 min of your time. Here's $120." gently caress off. Sounds like you are too poor to order a $600 shot. quote:(I have never and will never buy a $600 pour.) Confirmed.
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May 4, 2019 03:17
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AITA for agreeing to pick my brother up from the airport then refusing after his flight was delayed 4 hours? My brother is coming to visit me. He doesn’t travel much and isn’t very familiar with airports and Uber. It’s weird I know. He’s with his wife and kids. He was supposed to get in at 9 pm. I have an SUV and agreed to get him and his family. He gets to the airport and at about 8:30 pm they tell him his flight is delayed. He texts me and I say, “no problem. Just let me know when you are expected to land and I’ll get you.” About an hour later he says the delay is 4 hours and I’ll be in at 1 am. I tell him I can’t do that. I have to work in the morning and if I get you at 1 am I’ll be lucky to be in bed by 2. I have to get up at 5 am and I just can’t do that. I tell him I’ll leave the front door unlocked. We have 3 spare rooms so just pick a room and put the kids in whatever rooms they want. I then say I’ll see you tomorrow after I get off work. He was pissed. He’s mad he has to pay for two Uber’s. He didn’t have the app and is mad he has to download it, upload his credit card info and whatnot. I politely explain to him that this is just part of traveling. If you want to travel sometimes there are unexpected expenses. He thinks since I agreed to pick him up at the airport I should do that no matter any delays. I again told him, I would have no problem with that, but 9 pm vs 1 am when I have to work is different. I also explained that he’s saving thousands on a hotel by staying with me so $50 for Uber is not a big deal. AITA?
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May 4, 2019 03:20
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (20F) can’t seem to convince him (21M) that sex is not competitive sports. I'm not sure if this is better or worse than fued who treat it as a race to see who comes first. ad090 posted:Fake nurse story continues: NTA. Just wash your hands of her she's nuts.
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May 4, 2019 03:21
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AITA for lashing out at a “mother hen” coworker of mine? I am a guy in my early 30’s who works at a restaurant, and we got a new employee a couple weeks ago named “Jane.” Jane is an older woman in her late 50’s, who seems like a good person, but is very, very annoying. She acts, as I said in my title, a lot like a “mother hen” to other employees - whenever she sees someone working with sharp, dangerous-looking objects, she gets big eyes, goes, “ooooh, careful”, and continuously pesters them that they’re not doing it safe enough/right, and reminds them over and over to “be careful.” She’ll frequently help people who insist they don’t need it and aren’t even in her department, and gives them advice on how to better do their job It gets very annoying very fast, especially considering that she’s the new person. Typically, the “new guy” is the one who’s more submissive and deferential in his first couple weeks; to be a long time employee and have the new person treating me like a baby, or giving me advice on how to do my job, is very insulting. The other week, I was using a large, sharp device/machine to cut some things up, and Jane stopped by, doing her usual “big eyes” and “oooooh, careful,” over and over. She kept leaning in my personal space and giving me pointers on how I could use the device “better” and “safer,” and how she “doesn’t want me to get hurt.” After a long time of this, I turned it off, put everything down, and confronted her. “You want me to be safe, and get this sliced safely?” I asked her very harshly. “I’ll tell you what you can do - quit loving bothering me while I’m working! I’m not a dipshit, I’ve worked here 20 times as long as you, I know how to use their loving tools! You’re distracting the hell out of me, knock it off!” Her eyes got huge, she began quivering, and she replied that she was just trying to help. “What you are doing is the exact, reverse opposite of help! You want someone to get their goddamn finger sliced off - keep on doing what you’re doing! Distract and pester the hell out them, that’s gonna be bound to be the result! Mind your own drat business!” Her eyes swelled with tears, and she hurried off. Someone I work with told me they saw her hiding out in an isolated part of the back room, crying very hard. I wanted to give her an apology, but she avoided me like the plague the rest of the day, and was so cold, quiet and unapproachable that I chickened out of doing so. Her eyes were red and swollen the rest of the day, and I think I really got her down. I feel lovely about what I did, but also am kind of wondering if it may have served a greater good of getting her to stop this awful habit of hers. AITA?
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May 4, 2019 03:21
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:Sounds like you are too poor to order a $600 shot. Or they're just not bad with money If I had a million dollars I still wouldn't pay $600 for a shot, because that's idiotic. But maybe I just underestimate money's ability to sap intelligence
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May 4, 2019 03:24
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WIBTA if I confronted my fiancé about my engagement ring not being from Tiffany&Co like he claimed it was? My SO and I got engaged a few months ago and are planning to get married next year. It was a perfect day with us and our friends. The night ended with him getting down on one knee, and pulling out a black Tiffany ring box. He asks, I say yes, we spend the next hour telling each other how much we love each other. Everything is perfect. Fast forward a few months..The ring is beautiful. Absolutely stunning and I love it. I haven’t taken it off except to maybe clean the house. One day I noticed it had collected a few minor scuffs on the inside as most rings do and asked my SO for the info on where to get it polished or cleaned. He said there was no such info, but he can take it to get it cleaned himself. I thought that was strange since most smaller jewelers offer diamond warranties and cleaning services - why wouldn’t Tiffany offer the same thing? That was a sign that something was up for me. I started googling places to clean Tiffany jewelry in the area just in case he was mistaken and found a few ads for places that can authenticate Tiffany jewelry. After looking into it more I found out all Tiffany jewelry pieces have serial numbers and the Tiffany logo mark to deter fraud. Mine has nothing but a gold rating and an unidentifiable mark. Basically I want to find out where he got the ring and why he lied to me, if he did. It honestly is not important to me where the ring is from, but why pretend it’s from somewhere that it’s not? We are both well off so I know it wasn’t an issue of cost. On the other hand, I’m also worried that he doesn’t know it’s not real and I don’t want him to get hurt in case he feels embarrassed or angry he was lied to. It’s a beautiful ring and I do really love it. Should I confront him or just let if be and wonder if he intentionally lied to me? EDIT: Most of you are confused by the black box situation. This is what I’m talking about. Excuse the dust - it’s been in the closet. https://i.imgur.com/nq4w9ge.jpg EDIT 2: Ring hallmark for those who asked! https://i.imgur.com/mezxEkZ.jpg
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May 4, 2019 03:24
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Twelve Batmans posted:As a bartender if you want to get bigger tips from me you will have a 100% success rate if you are a handsome dude and you call me sweetie. You don't even have to be gay. It better not be just the tip that gets bigger.
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May 4, 2019 03:26
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That woman is really concerned about the name brand of her ring that literally nobody will know about except when she starts telling people.
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May 4, 2019 03:28
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QuarkJets posted:Or they're just not bad with money Hey man I have a million dollars and i also wouldn’t pay $600 for a shot but if for some reason I wanted a $600 shot I’d tip well for good service like I always do. 🤷🏼♂️
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May 4, 2019 03:34
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therobit posted:NTA. Just wash your hands of her she's nuts. He can't wash his hands because she's camped out in his bathroom! Always one step ahead.
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May 4, 2019 03:35
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for agreeing to pick my brother up from the airport then refusing after his flight was delayed 4 hours? Your brother is a loving moron and he needs to grow up and learn about how Uber’s(lol) work. NTA.
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May 4, 2019 03:41
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:Sounds like you are too poor to order a $600 shot. Sounds like you're stupid enough to pay for "good service". Here's a thought: It's not any more difficult for a bartender to pour a $600 drink than a $5 drink. If you're going to tip $120 for one drink, order a mojito.
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May 4, 2019 03:44
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MarcusSA posted:Your brother is a loving moron and he needs to grow up and learn about how Uber’s(lol) work. Not sure how the brother is a moron because his flight got delayed but they must not have a very good relationship if he can't be inconvenienced for one night.
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May 4, 2019 03:47
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Cyks posted:Not sure how the brother is a moron because his flight got delayed but they must not have a very good relationship if he can't be inconvenienced for one night. "I have to work in the morning" is a pretty good reason. If dude has to be in at 7 or 8 then he is getting up at 5 or 6 at the latest, and staying up until 2 makes that not really reasonable.
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May 4, 2019 03:50
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Cyks posted:Not sure how the brother is a moron because his flight got delayed but they must not have a very good relationship if he can't be inconvenienced for one night. Did you miss the part about a grown rear end adult with kids not knowing how taxis or Uber worked?
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May 4, 2019 03:51
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