SymmetryrtemmyS posted:

holy poo poo lmao

Hattie Masters posted:

I just figured they'd bent that bit into shape as well. Honestly, at first I thought it was about the GOP doing something like just adding a bunch of awful riders to bills so they would never pass, like that one episode of the Simpsons.

rageoflink posted:

go to a grocery store and go to the produce section and find a girl by any kind of melon. Say hey I like those melons you got there and who knows she might find you extremely creepy or she might think you're the funniest thing since...... idk but w/e you get the point.

gl

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Friend posted:

I may have gotten carried away with the cast in my Star Wars fanfic

Pirate Radar posted:

we built a James Bond villain weapon

SplitSoul posted:

Maybe they can use it to cut the wedding cake as well.

KazigluBey posted:

You cheated not only your wife, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow intercourse. Everything was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference.

frankenfreak posted:

re: a youtube gaming personality got caught cheating on his wife

EorayMel posted:

Pastry of the Year posted:

he was also sexually grooming minors

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

They already said he was a youtube gamer.

Krinkle posted:

I like how in almost every shot judge doom's goggles are reflecting some light source, just completely washed out, as he delivers his lines to camera. Reminds me of Oh Brother Where Art Thou where the guy who keeps trying to hang the boys always has fire reflected in his glasses.

When you can't see someone's eyeballs they don't even seem human, according to cinematography.

Greggster posted:

Is this why sharks are so scary?

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

It's also because they're constantly playing cellos but since they don't have thumbs they can only play the same two notes over and over.

Tunicate posted:

It is my firm belief that man can subsist on nothing more then chili and anger.
To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.
I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.

Ingredients:
4 pounds beef brisket, cut into 3-4 inches tall pieces
1 small onion, cut into ¼"- thick slices
3 small garlic cloves, minced
16 ounces (5 large) diced tomatoes, about ¼ cup each (I used a box of whole tomatoes, but feel free to use a little or a lot of canned tomatoes if you prefer)
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon black pepper
1½ teaspoon ground cumin
2 cups red lentils, plus about ¼ cup of dry
4 cups low sodium chicken broth, or any stock I haven't yet found
2/3 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice

Directions:

Peel and core the onion.

Remove the core, set aside.

Peel and cube the garlic.

Peel and slice the onion into ¾"- thick pieces.

Season with 2 tsp. chili powder, black pepper, cumin, lime juice and salt:

Put in medium pot, add beef and onions. Saute, stirring frequently with a wooden spoon, about 45 minutes or until beef is tender yet not mushy.
Meanwhile, add lentils, broth, olive oil, red lentils and chicken broth to the pot. Saute over medium heat for 4-6 minutes or until lentils begin to brown. Remove from heat and let cool for 15 minutes. Add lime juice and black pepper

Whybird posted:

It must be pretty shameful to know that a loving algorithm which will never see the inside of a kitchen can still cook a better chilli than you.

Platystemon posted:

https://i.redd.it/tbaogu76y0w21.jpg

Karate Bastard posted:

Doth mine eyes deceive me or is there another boodussy grundle queef situation going on top right?

DandyLion posted:

Legolas, that's enough of your drat elf eyes.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

some fuckin excellent Boomer Mythology in the Things Boomers Like megathread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3886674&userid=80596

etalian posted:

Loyalists are basically the sad N Irish version of a Weeaboo, Oh the glory of authentic british culture!

Zephirus posted:

I believe the correct term is Tea-aboo

Mary Annette posted:

Never forget: Ben Shapiro was groomed from childhood to be a mouthpiece for his father's political views, a political golem, if you will. It's not that he's a true believer as much as he genuinely doesn't seem to understand that people can believe, in good faith, in any other ideology than his.

The American Dream posted:

I’m pretty sure golems are typically pretty big. but maybe that’s just on magic cards.

Ben “owning yourself to own the libs” Shapiro.

The Chairman posted:

a homunculus, then

The American Dream posted:

Bobby Digital posted:

Wrex Ruckus posted:

How does one pronounce "gil"? Like gif?

Cavelcade posted:

Same as the g in gorgeous.

sebmojo posted:

it's a deliverance reference

Endless Mike posted:

Which makes it not a rape joke how

Dolash posted:

I heard it pointed out recently how using references remains a way to make jokes that wouldn't be done in general anymore, by laundering them through referential humor. So you might not make a fat joke, but you could reference how a famous person is fat or maybe a famous line about someone being fat or some such thing. I hadn't really noticed before, but it's true, and definitely something that can trip people up.

Parahexavoctal posted:

"It's not a rape joke, it's a rape joke joke", basically?

AlBorlantern Corps posted:

Whoopi: Look it was a rape joke joke, but it's not like it was a rape rape joke joke

PMush Perfect posted:

Reading this makes me feel like I'm having a stroke.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Please don't make a stroke joke. You're allowed to make a stroke joke joke, but not a stroke stroke joke joke.

ikanreed posted:

The third nun couldn't reach

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

I've thought about this and it seems likely that Doomguy and Samus reproduce like fish, wherein Samus periodically lays eggs and then somebody like Doomguy comes by and sprays them with seed (kind of like a shotgun blast). It's not strictly loving but it's still a reproductive miracle that seems natural to individuals who are too busy being constantly on the move.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

This was the entirety of an aside in a thread:

Antitonic posted:

I like big butts, and I cannot lie. You know it and I know it. I have the confidence of believing this because I have been eating nothing but butt burgers at least 30 seconds before I want my wife to have them. I do not even care that the burger is greasy or that there is no lettuce on the bun and the only way you would know is if you noticed my pants or something. I do not even care that it is a size 16 or that the bun is wide and the bacon sits pretty nicely on the meat, it may sound ridiculous, but this is my wife. She knows what she likes.

When I hear people compliment me on them, I can almost smell the desire for more, for just that size. Like I said, I feel the same way when I see photos of my wife at the hospital after we were divorced.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Another procgen masterpiece:

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I'm sorry about your wife's rear end burgers.

ante posted:

Alucard posted:

Really frustrating when someone uses a group photo and doesn't identify themselves.

CommieGIR posted:

We're also examining Logarythm, which has some really cool features like Incident quick actions and playbooks.

Sentinel also has playbooks, and quick or auto actions based on alerting.

Lain Iwakura posted:

Stay the gently caress away from LogRhythm.

PCjr sidecar posted:

Everyone knows the rhythm method is unreliable.

Skwirl posted:

Who is projared?

wizzardstaff posted:

For twelve years, you have been asking:

Skwirl posted:

Who is projared?

e: I don’t know either

Karate Bastard posted:

Haha why do y'all people keep asking this?


Because he is mental lube is why. Right. Doesn't stick to a god damned thing does he.

Karate Bastard posted:

Haha imma quote myself

Karate Bastard posted:

Haha imma quote myself

Karate Bastard posted:

Ha haha haaaaaa!

(I'm afraid you will have to imagine the booming tone of demented megalomania; it doesn't go over well in writing)

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

*draws katana*

Krispy Wafer posted:

I never got the Michael Jackson love.

Sir Lemming posted:

You were probably just too old

Karate Bastard posted:

Haha imma quote myself

ulex minor posted:

this is the thread for funny forum quotes though?

Sormus posted:

In Finland the classiest places are easily identified by their blue lighting in the toilets. Harder to do drugs if you cant find your veins, they claim.

Karate Bastard posted:

It's not so much to do with not being able to find your veins as with not being able to find your rails. Fun fact: cocaine and meth are transparent to blue wavelengths, which is why you should not sneeze in a public restroom and in fact why most people will hold their breath or pinch their nose walking into one, and the reason they named the blue light forums as they did, cause ~invisible drugs~

Arrhythmia posted:

What?

The Moon Monster posted:

It's true every post in BYOB is secretly covered in lines of coke.

Brewmaster posted:

Listen here pal: I spend a lot of time in public restrooms, and I've found some cool poo poo there, but never free drugs. They're never free.

As a side note, I just found out that the CEO of Vanguard investment group is named Tim Buckley. Now I fear my retirement savings will end in a Loss.

Baron von Eevl posted:

It's often harder on the investor than on the broker.