- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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I (24M) unintentionally offended a girl (20+F) I am talking to because of her fetish.
would tune in to a regular series of The Thirstiest Guy In The World
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May 16, 2019 16:38
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 16, 2024 17:09
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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the guy's reaction to having a vegan at a bbq was to buy three different meat substitutes instead of just grilling some root veggies and having an extra vegan side dish, so yeah i'm guessing this exactly the kind of 'bbq' that is nothing but your choice of sauced white meat and sauced red meat, leading to early onset colon cancer
this doesn't make sense man
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May 16, 2019 16:48
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Requiring permission from husband if I want to go out
quote:I am 35 F married to 39M, we have been together for 13 years, married for 5 with 2 kids, 9 & 10.
My husband has a fairly active social life, friends over on a Friday night for drinks, goes out regularly to the pub, plays AFL and has boys weekends / trips away, all which I’m all honesty I don’t mind, so long as for trips away I know in advance for child care planning, and day activities I have no issue, so long as we’ve done the things around the house we need too like grocery shopping (he is the only one who drives)
After work if he knows I am home (I work late evenings, until 8pm) he goes to the pub, normally without telling me. I let it go, I’m working 4 nights a week and understand the need for ‘me’ time.
However, when it comes to me going out after work or an overnight stay with girlfriends, regardless of if I do it spontaneously or plan in advance, I get guilt trips, accused of cheating, and generally made to feel like I’m doing something wrong.
How can I get him to understand how hypocritical this is? That I am an adult and able to make my own choices about socialising? Is it normal to have to ask permission to be allowed to socialise as an adult?
TL;DR husband makes me ask for permission to socialise and tries to guilt trip me for seeing friends
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May 16, 2019 16:50
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Am I [22F] doing it right by letting my ex [23M] go?
quote:I [22F] have just broken up with my ex [23M] of 1 and a half years during a quarrel four days ago. The quarrel started when I initiated my desire to go for a music festival with my clique of girlfriends. He has always been against the idea of having these kind of activities as he had some prior trauma which involved his ex girlfriend and these activities. Please note that my ex is a dedicated Christian and believes that clubbing is a sin.
In the first year of our relationship, I went on an overseas trip with this particular clique of girlfriends. On our last night there, we were heading to a bar to have some drinks and chill out. I had promised my ex that I would not be clubbing after drinking. As I have never been to a club in my whole life (my mum was super strict with me since young), I got curious and chose to go clubbing after my friend suggested it.
After coming back from the trip, I could not bear the thought of hiding this incident from my ex and confessed. He was pretty upset but chose to forgive me as I was honest with him. However, I was required to fulfill certain terms and conditions (T&Cs) like:
* I am not allowed to initiate meet ups with this clique.
* I am not to hang out with the clique at bars/clubs/places that serves alcohol.
* My ex will have no affiliation with my clique.
* No more going on overseas trips with this clique
Initially, I was not happy about these T&Cs but I stuck with it because I did not want to lose him. However, after having a few quarrels regarding these T&Cs, he decided to be lenient and compromised to null most of them except for number 2 -- no hanging out with the clique at bars/clubs/places that serves alcohol. Fast forward to 6 days ago, I saw a poster for an upcoming music festival and was very interested in it. By instinct, I rang up one of the girls in the clique (I usually do that if I see something fun/interesting) to ask her if she was interested in attending it together. Obviously, my ex was very upset about this and we quarreled. He gave me a compromise where by he will attend it with me, but my girlfriend must not be present. I prompted for the reason and he mentioned that he is still very upset with them for influencing me to attend a club while I was overseas.
I have suggested a compromise whereby my girlfriend and him can attend the festival with me instead, but he refuses to settle for it. We quarreled and realized that we both have different goals and mindsets -- I want to catch up on the "fun" that I have lost out earlier in my life, he wants to date a girl to settle down with. With that difference in mind, I have decided that a break up would be the best for us. My boyfriend agreed to it. However, I have realized that I am starting to regret the break up. I really do not wish to hurt him, but I really want to enjoy these activities during my prime. Should I attempt to patch our relationship back? Thanks for the advice in advance!
TL;DR : I have just broken up with my ex of 1 and a half years after realizing that we have different mindsets. I'm still looking around to enjoy life, whereas he wants to settle down. I am regretting the breakup, but I want to enjoy life while I'm in my prime. Should I try to patch our relationship back?
This is like the lamest Fifty Shades remake.
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May 16, 2019 16:54
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- Agrikk
- Oct 17, 2003
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Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
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WIBTAH if I asked an obese woman to leave my pool?
I am a lifeguard and this particular situation happens during an open swim session when I am the only guard on duty.
For starters, I want to say that I don't think this woman is inherently a danger or a bad person for being obese. I would not think the things that I speak on in this post in ANY OTHER situation except the one I am describing.
So this woman has started coming into my pool during the morning open swim time, she is old, not a very strong swimmer and as stated, is obese. I want to say this in as nice a way as possible, but I think she must be over 300 lbs. All those factors considered, she is quite likely to have an emergency situation (more likely that the average patron) whether it be drowning, a heart attack (we have had quite a few of those at my pool), or other medical emergency. And that's where the issue lies. I have been a guard for over 3 years now so I am quite familiar with the skills of rescuing someone, I am quite muscular, and a very strong swimmer. However, I do not think there is any physical way I would be able to pull someone who weighs 3x as much as me out of the water.
As I said I am the only guard on duty at this particular open swim time so it is at my sole discretion to remove people I think are being unsafe, or posing a potential danger/risk. I genuinely feel like I would not be able to assist this person if they were in an emergency, I am simply not trained or equipped to do that, especially on my own.
I would like to ask her to stop coming to this particular open swim time and come to one later in the day, where there are two guards on duty. Not only for her safety, but that of the guard(s). WIBTA if I did this?
EDIT: since I'm already seeing people saying this, I do not want to ban this woman from swimming, If she is swimming to lose weight and.or stay active I think that's great! In my last sentence I stated that I would like to ask her if she could come to a different open swim time where there is another guard. I am not forcing her to leave the pool or forcing her to stop swimming whatsoever.
Don’t public pools have to have those motorized slings to allow handicapped access?
I see no reason why lifeguard couldn’t just keep her face up and breathing as he floated her over to the sling while someone else called 911.
YTA.
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May 16, 2019 17:00
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- Pinecone Sample
- Oct 12, 2010
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THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
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My boyfriend just peed in the loving kitchen sink ?!
I need to know whose fault it was that there were dirty dishes in the sink.
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May 16, 2019 17:06
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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My son (8m) is being bullied at school because of me (33f).
quote:I'm a single mom of one son. Earlier this year, I was a parent-helper for school camp. We went away for four days and I made some new friends including the good looking and very funny dad of one of my son's classmates. There was an obvious attraction between us, he made me laugh, we subtly flirted and exchanged numbers. Continued to stay in touch, one thing led to another, and we began seeing each other. I knew he was married but he told me he was unhappy and planning on separating from his wife.
Well, she found out and has been super vindictive. A few days ago, I was dropping my son off at school and I said 'hey, good morning' to another mom I know. She is the type to usually stop and chat but she just awkwardly smiled and hurried off. I didn't think too much of it until another mom took me aside and told me that his wife has been telling all the other mom's at school about me, that I'm a morally loose woman with no values or conscience, and that I slept with her husband, that I seduced him, initiated everything, and kept messaging him to hook up with me until he finally gave in. (When it was him who contacted me after the camp). I don't know if they're staying together or getting separated but I've ended things with him because I don't want to be caught up in the middle of their drama. Anyway, I was very embarrassed and went home and hid under the blankets basically...I snuggled up and cried for the rest of the day.
A few days later, my son seems down and I ask him what's up, he doesn't say anything, I prompt him to talk to me , and he finally confesses he's getting bullied at school. The other boys are saying that his mom is a 'cheap $2 whore', 'dirty slut' and 'prostitute'. We are Asian so there has been racist references like 'ching chong slut'. I'm stunned because I had no idea that 8 year olds had these words in their vocabulary. I was angry because my son is very close to me, I raised him alone, and I know he is very protective of me. I gave him a hug and thanked him for telling me . I talked to his teacher who has been amazingly supportive, she told me she would look out for any signs of bullying, and that my son can talk to her anytime he needs to. The class also had a general discussion on bullying this week so I'm very thankful to her. However, it seems like there are 1-2 boys (who are friends of their son) who have discreetly continued to bully my son. The bullying is just verbal for now, but with boys, these things can quickly escalate and become physical. I'm worried for my son. He hasn't been eating well at home lately. Even though the teacher has been supportive, he is a quiet, shy boy and doesn't talk much.
Please help, what can I do to make things better for my son?
(Edited in some paragraph breaks)
It's unfair as gently caress, but the best thing you can do is transfer your son to another school
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May 16, 2019 17:07
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My boyfriend just peed in the loving kitchen sink ?!
How is he so weak that 5 shots is enough to make him pass out and start peeing in the sink?
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May 16, 2019 17:07
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My (f 23) dad (m 51) moved his girlfriend (f 25) into the house. I've become good friends with her, and he's pissed off that we hang out
quote:So my dad, my grandma, and me, live together. My mom and dad divorced a couple years ago, and now I'm living with my dad so I can pay off my student loans faster, and also help care for my grandma who's sick.
I don't have a great relationship with my dad for a number of reasons. But we coexist ok living together. He gets help caring for my grandma, and I get to live rent free. But honestly a lot of the time we act like roommates who tolerate each other rather than family
My dad hasn't had the best dating record, he tends to go for people who don't really have theire poo poo together, who seem fun and exciting on the surface but have issues. So I didn't think too much of it when he said he was dating someone new, 6 months ago. Heard that stuff before. I told him that his dating life was his business and I didn't wanna hear any of it.
Anyway two months ago he told me that his girlfriend was moving in with us. I didn't love the idea but honestly I'm getting to live in his house rent free so I figured i couldn't complain.
So Penny moved in, and I knew she was younger but I didn't know she was my age!! That was very weird for me at first but whatever.
I kept to myself for a while, just going to work, and going out with friends or to the gym after work so I wasn't home much. But then one day Penny's car broke down and I offered to take a look at it because I'm pretty good with cars. And she and I chatted through the whole time , and I started to realize she was a pretty amazing person. She's very kind, been through some tough stuff in her life, but she's patient and perseverant, and really strong. We kept talking after that day, talking about anything and everything. Except her relationship with my dad, since I said that it was weird to hear about that stuff since he's my dad. And she respected that totally.
We started hanging out more, I brought her out to concerts and nights out with my friend's, and started going to the gym together too.
I get the impression that my dad is angry about us hanging out. Jealous perhaps of the time spent together? I don't know. But he's making more and more snippy comments about us being " best gal pals" and I can hear him and Penny arguing about how I am turning her into a "party animal" and that's not who she is???
He hasn't said anything direct to me, and I think Penny is avoiding the topic because of the time I told her that I don't wanna know about what she and my dad are up to. But I do wanna clear the air and I wanna know how I should go about it.
I think my dad is being immature to be seeing someone much younger and not liking it when she does fun stuff with me and my friend's.
TL;DR my dad is seeing Penny. I've become friends with Penny. My dad's not a fan of that which is weird, and I wanna say something to clear the air
The people in the comments are high fiving her for making her creepy dad feel like a creep.
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May 16, 2019 17:08
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- Best Bi Geek Squid
- Mar 25, 2016
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How is he so weak that 5 shots is enough to make him pass out and start peeing in the sink?
it wasn't the liquor. he was making a power play and marking the kitchen as his territory
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May 16, 2019 17:09
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- Agrikk
- Oct 17, 2003
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Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
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AITA for "not recognizing" my first ex?
I was at work today and I saw someone who I thought I would never see again.
Some back story, this girl was my best friend from 3rd grade all the way up to Senior year in highschool. We dated off and on in HS and we were still together when I left for the military(this was 2009 and I was 19).
About 6 months into my time she was working as a flight attendant and I started noticing some dude posting stuff onto her Myspace wall like "I can't wait to see you again, we had so much fun last night,etc,etc". I am not a jealous guy so I politely inquire wtf all this stuff he was posting was and she said that she had reconnected with a friend and they had been hanging out but that nothing was going on.
Then two days later I got the "Dear John" email and she admitted to have been cheating on me since the day I left.
Fast forward to this day some 10 years later, and I was working and I see her face. I make like I didn't recognize her right off the bat and kept working,she then calls my name, I acted like I didn't hear her and she just called it louder so I turned and faced her.
She greeted me and then said "Do you remember me?" and I said "I am so sorry but I don't".
She looked really hurt and tried to continue the conversation but I said that I needed to get back to work (which I did I was trying to finish a project).
My coworkers said that I was cold hearted, but being cheated on is up there on my "relationship mortal sins" and frankly I had no desire to reconnect.
so Am I an rear end in a top hat?
The best revenge isn’t hatred, it’s indifference.
Most people like to be remembered by others and getting a point-blank “sorry I don’t remember you” is ice cold.
But it’s been ten years that you’ve been carrying that around with you. It’s time to move past it and heal.
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May 16, 2019 17:13
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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I know I say a lot of TIFU stories are masturbatory fantasies, but this one actually is.
TIFU by Getting Caught Masturbating to Myself
quote:A little backstory first:
A lot of people have said I have quite a feminine face, especially for a guy (maybe more to androgynous). I didn't really see it at first because, well... It's my face, so... Apparently it's mostly my jawline, chin and cheekbones (maybe my nose too? idk). A lot of asians tend to have baby faces as well so there's that to factor in. Some of my female friends have even said that i occasionally look prettier than them in some pictures where I smile. That's actually one of my girlfriend's insecurities that she likes to joke about, having a boyfriend that's prettier than her. I never actually fully believed in all this until Snapchat's new trending filter. Yep, it's the gender switch one.
Me and a bunch of friends were playing around with this new filter and everyone seems excited to see what they would look like as the opposite gender. My turn came around and as I saw my female version, I automatically grinned because I'm gonna admit here, drat I'm attractive as a girl. Right as i smiled, my friend snapped the pic and after saving it, now I have this realistic looking, sweet, smiling, cute girl in my gallery. He went and showed it to a bunch of others and everyone kept saying I'm pretty as a girl. I just went and took it as a compliment (not sure if being pretty is a compliment for a guy though).
Now here's where the gently caress up starts.
Fast forward a couple days, and I was bored and decided to take some more girly selfies of myself, each getting more and more suggestive (don't judge me). After deleting some that don't look all that great, I now have a collection of pictures of a girl, that just so happens to be my type, that doesn't even exist. Since I haven't released my load in a few days, I eventually got pretty horny. I decided to send the pictures to my own email so I can download them on my laptop for a bigger screen.
I live alone in a studio apartment and I gave a spare key and access card to my girlfriend and another to my best friend. They usually ask first before just coming in so I thought it's all good. This isn't my first time masturbating in bed since I gave them the key either so I didn't really think twice about it.
So there i was, sitting in bed, with my laptop screen on high brightness and in plain sight, pants down, letting my imagination run wild. Just as i was about to climax, there was a clicking noise coming from the door. I heard the click but I was too busy trying to get the most out of this climax that the noise just kinda went in one ear and went out the other. Right as the door opens and my girlfriend came in, my dick just decided to blow. Keeping all that in for a few days didn't help the situation either.
Since I live in a small studio sized apartment, you're able to see almost everything inside as you walk in. I was also sitting in an angle where my laptop screen is visible as you come in the door. Not only did my girlfriend walk in on me cumming, she saw what I was cumming to. My first time getting caught masturbating by ANYONE and I was caught having a narcissistic fetish. I looked back surprised and we kinda just stared at each other for 5 seconds. She apologized nervously and just walked back out and closed the door.
After processing what just happened, I grabbed my phone to try to explain to my girlfriend (not even sure what I was gonna say to her though). I saw I has 2 missed calls from her before she came in. I'm guessing she probably just came back to take something she left and thought it'd be fine to just come in since I wasn't answering my calls because i was too busy being attracted to myself.
I'm now sitting alone and typing this, questioning my life and trying to think of an excuse or something or just anything to say to her.
TL;DR - Decided to masturbate to pictures of myself as a girl with Snapchat's new filter. Girlfriend walked in as I came and saw what I came to.
quote:So I woke up to a text from my girlfriend in the morning telling me to call her once I'm awake. She's an early bird so I kinda expected this. So I called her and said I wanted to talk about what happened last night. The call was slightly awkward at first but we decided to meet up to talk about it.
She was actually quite understanding about all this and we ended up opening up a lot about our sexual fetishes and stuff. Told her it was just a passing moment kinda thing and although this isn't a lie, she assured me that it would be totally fine if it wasn't a passing moment.
Long story short, she took it well enough and this gently caress up ended not being a gently caress up and actually benefited me in some way. Looks like my sex life has gone from vanilla to kinky pretty drat quick. I'll spare the details 
And no, she didn't and won't tell anyone so my dark secret is safe with her and hundreds of strangers who read my original post.
Some of you have also been asking me for pictures. Guys, in case you haven't realized, this is a throwaway and it's a throwaway for a reason so.... I'd rather not share my embarrassing pictures online where some of my Redditor friends lurk around. In fact, i actually changed some tiny details of the original story just so that they won't realize it's me if they do come across this TIFU.
HOWEVER, if this post or the original post reaches the front page, I MIGHT reconsider. (Things I do for karma huh... and it's not even my main account)
TL;DR - gently caress up turned into a gently caress yes. Anyone asking for pictures gets a gently caress off, at least for now.
EDIT: Almost forgot, shoutout u/TheThemeSong for his song: "My Own Girl"
EDIT 2: holy poo poo i didnt actually think it'll reach the top, at least not this fast. To be fair i said i MIGHT reconsider... Please spare me and give me time to reconsider til tomorrow... My identity and dignity is at risk here chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 17:17 on May 16, 2019
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May 16, 2019 17:14
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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So online that you send your friends porn of yourself as a woman for attention.
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May 16, 2019 17:22
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- Agrikk
- Oct 17, 2003
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Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
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I hope not, she doesn't want pictures of some dry-rear end tongue
https://shop.oxyfresh.com/collectio...AiABEgJH-PD_BwE
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May 16, 2019 17:25
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- hot cocoa on the couch
- Dec 8, 2009
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Requiring permission from husband if I want to go out
He's definitely cheating
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May 16, 2019 17:28
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- Fuck Your Website
- Nov 29, 2003
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FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
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I (24M) unintentionally offended a girl (20+F) I am talking to because of her fetish.
"I assumed her request was tongue in cheek"
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May 16, 2019 17:30
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
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Ultra Carp
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AITA for forcing a vegan attendee at my barbecue to pay for her food?
Emily sucks, but you suck way more for the theft and extortion
Yep. A normal person would have just noted that Emily is a colossal rear end in a top hat, but OP went full Costanza on her
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May 16, 2019 17:32
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- ScentOfAnOtaku
- Aug 25, 2006
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I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.
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hot take but it's the married party's responsibility to not seduce someone.
Hot take but when someone seduces someone, you don't have to reciprocate if it could affect your child's life. When you sleep with a married parent of a student at your school, you can probably expect problems if that relationship explodes, which it probably will as you are helping a spouse cheat.
She is not blameless, as having kids means having to keep it in your pants sometimes for that health and safety.
EDIT: I'm just going to clarify cause I guess you thought that I'm saying he's not to blame? I don't see that in my post but it definitely wasn't my intention. I'm saying she's not blameless, which doesn't exonerate him.
ScentOfAnOtaku fucked around with this message at 17:45 on May 16, 2019
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May 16, 2019 17:39
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- house of the dad
- Jul 4, 2005
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hot take but it's the married party's responsibility to not seduce someone.
Eeeeeeeh sleeping with married people still makes you kind of a dick.
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May 16, 2019 17:43
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
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Ultra Carp
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My (f 23) dad (m 51) moved his girlfriend (f 25) into the house. I've become good friends with her, and he's pissed off that we hang out
...I think my dad is being immature...
img-shocked-pikachu
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May 16, 2019 17:47
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- ghost emoji
- Mar 11, 2016
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oooOooOOOooh
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hot take but it's the married party's responsibility to not seduce someone.
you're not entirely wrong
the person they're cheating isn't without blame. and you shouldn't continue a relationship with someone that you know is in a monogamous relationship with someone else
but, I often see way more vitriol directed towards "the other woman/man" than the actual cheating spouse/partner. which seems weird!
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May 16, 2019 17:48
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- sephiRoth IRA
- Jun 13, 2007
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"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."
-Carl Sagan
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you're not entirely wrong
the person they're cheating isn't without blame. and you shouldn't continue a relationship with someone that you know is in a monogamous relationship with someone else
but, I often see way more vitriol directed towards "the other woman/man" than the actual cheating spouse/partner. which seems weird!
I would say that both people deserve equal amounts of vitriol unless the “other man/woman” is being deceived.
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May 16, 2019 17:50
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- Fuck Your Website
- Nov 29, 2003
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FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
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As per usual with these situations, the only one who's actually blameless is the one who's suffering the harshest consequences. Sucks to be that kid and be forced to realize at such a young age that your one parent is dumb as gently caress.
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May 16, 2019 17:52
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 16, 2024 17:09
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May 16, 2019 16:38
at both because they're green and about to find out how deep those rabbit holes go. Looking forward to two "a lot has happened since my last post" updates.
Cat Army 
the person your spouse is cheating on you with never promised you anything
