/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

AITA for fake throwing the ball?

quote:

Ok so I�ll keep this short because I don�t want it to be too long. I was playing with my dog on the trampoline with his ball and we were having a good time.

So, I got the ball from him, looked him in the eyes, fake threw it and hid it behind my back. The look on his face was so funny but he didn�t seem to think so. I then pulled the ball out and we continued playing. I think that he�s already forgotten about it.

TL;DR I fake threw the ball with my dog

Edit: I now realize that what I have done is very wrong and I won�t happen again. I�ve gotten some help, and me and my pupper are doing great again!

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:08

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 15:42

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Tythas posted:

AITA for fake throwing the ball?

It's good to know that with proper therapy and years of hard work, relationships can get back on the right track.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:11

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Tythas posted:

AITA for fake throwing the ball?

Everyone knows the fake throw is supposed to be followed up immediately with a real throw while their back is turned.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:13

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Xenocides posted:

An experiment in poly from user “letsalldate”. Possibly fake but I want to believe.

We start with a happy couple:

My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?

And the whole thing burns to the ground. The poly apologists come out:

A sage counters:

And a moron chimes in:

Fin

I kinda feel like Jenna would have exploded that relationship no matter what OP had done. At least he's got some good memories and a life lesson out of it.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:14

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Vim Fuego posted:

Hmm... I engaged in chemical warfare against my girlfriend. She's having trouble breathing and is bleeding... I can't tell if what I did was wrong?? Internet?

yeah nah she deserves it

i mean op is a loving idiot and went completely overboard so they basically both deserve each other

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:15

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

My husband and I have pretty clearly defined expectations of each other when it comes to mealtime. If he takes down a gazelle and brings it home then I, as the top, am expected to have first dibs on it. It's a system that has always worked for us and it's not like gazelles don't have plenty of meat.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:16

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

cumshitter posted:

My husband and I have pretty clearly defined expectations of each other when it comes to mealtime. If he takes down a gazelle and brings it home then I, as the top, am expected to have first dibs on it. It's a system that has always worked for us and it's not like gazelles don't have plenty of meat.

Point of order: if you're the top, how are you making GBS threads so much cum?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:23

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Xenocides posted:

An experiment in poly from user �letsalldate�. Possibly fake but I want to believe.

We start with a happy couple:

My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?

Almost ready to get married huh?

[Update] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?

Good call on not jumping into sex. Bad call on listening to the polyamory subreddit.

[Update 2: Date with Mia] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?

�I told her my biggest fear was that we�d all end up hating each other but at the same time nothing good ever happened from not trying.�

At the very edge of wisdom there.

[Update 3] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?

Parents of the Year giving Good Advice: My parents have reached the conclusion that I am self-destructing my relationship with Jenna for �a side piece of rear end� as my dad so eloquently put it.

And the finale:

[Update] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?

And the whole thing burns to the ground. The poly apologists come out:

A sage counters:

And a moron chimes in:

Fin

It's very wise of him that he did a thorough research, indicated the dangers and defined clear boundaries before setting his house on fire.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:32

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Q1. I suffered from kidney failure. My Girlfriend (4 years) and I were a perfect donor match, and she gave me hers. I�m stronger & feeling good. Meanwhile she�s gained weight and thinks giving me a kidney means I�m giving her a ring. I�m NOT. How to dump her kindly? #SBCCHAT

https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1138856587437772800

Q7. We met at a Christian retreat. He was well spoken, knew his Bible & a gentleman. He moved in & began acting insane, saying that he�s Moses. He nearly lost a finger trying to carve �Tyrone�s Commandments� on my concrete porch. We don�t have free counseling here. Help #SBCCHAT

https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1138856600234602496

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:40

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

AITA for making a compliment to the subject of a pic my GF sent me?

quote:

My GF sent me a pic of a woman holding a jewel she liked in one of her hands, a huge portion of the pic was also taken by her thighs. Obviously, her intention was to show me a jewel she liked and after giving my opinion about the jewel I also appreciated the thighs thinking it was her in the pic. While the thighs actually looked like hers the hand was definetly different to hers but I didn't pay attention to that when I sent the message, I only noticed later.

So, she got pissed off because I appreciated someone else's body and even more because I saw her body many times and (according to her) I'm supposed to recognize her body and in particular her legs among others.

I didn't agree with her idea and to prove my point I sent her some pictures of men legs similar to mine (particulars between the knee and the ankle) so she had to figure out which one was mine, she failed the test and said the test was rigged because I didn't show enough details.

She's hurt and wants me to apologize but I don't feel like it because I don't feel guilty, in my mind I was appreciating her legs.

AITA?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:40

Trimson Grondag 3: Jul 1, 2007; Clapping Larry

Palpek posted:

It's very wise of him that he did a thorough research, indicated the dangers and defined clear boundaries before setting his house on fire.

He had a bunch of threesomes with some hot girls and avoided getting married too young, cbw.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:42

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Beachcomber posted:

Point of order: if you're the top, how are you making GBS threads so much cum?

We opened the relationship and myself.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:43

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Bag of Hamsters posted:

Our clothing buttons/zips left-handed because other people are supposed to dress us.

If that's not gross and infantilizing, I don't know what the gently caress is.

[It's very useful to a left-handed person and I sew my own poo poo that way but it's a crap reminder of not being allowed to dress myself.]

yeah these jokes come from 100% a place of sympathy. i think half of the appeal of the "boyfriend jeans/sweatshirts" is just that it's something durable which doesn't hug the chest like a creepy uncle.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:46

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

Tythas posted:

AITA for making a compliment to the subject of a pic my GF sent me?

*shakes uncontrollably, hands sweating, teeth clenched* oh my god I can't take it anymore...*starts typing, still shaking* NICE THIGHS, I LIKE

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:47

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

I veer through traffic, honking and screaming, my hazmat flashers on. I slam my car into the barricades 3 yards from a women in knee-length athletic shorts and as i fly through the windshield i holler YOUR ANKLES ARE WELL TURNED & IDEAL FOR EQUESTRIAN SPORTS

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:49

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1138856590868717569

sixbrownchicks is r/relationships as poetry, man

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:56

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

yeah these jokes come from 100% a place of sympathy. i think half of the appeal of the "boyfriend jeans/sweatshirts" is just that it's something durable which doesn't hug the chest like a creepy uncle.

I am glad of your posts in this thread.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:56

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

YOUR ANKLES ARE WELL TURNED & IDEAL FOR EQUESTRIAN SPORTS

AITA for complimenting a woman by telling her that she has cute feet?

quote:

The other day, I was at the library, and a woman whom I saw at the library was wearing sandals. I attempted to compliment her in that I told her that she has cute feet. However, some people later told me that that was a bizarre compliment to say. I do not know how that compliment is different from giving any other compliments. AITA for attempting to compliment a woman by telling her that she has cute feet?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 18:56

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It's not like I said she has cute tits!

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:04

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA for complimenting a woman by telling her that she has cute feet?

Pro move to disclose your fetish in your first compliment.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:05

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA for complimenting a woman by telling her that she has cute feet?

Why are foot fetishists so incapable of keeping it to themselves? Is it part of the same faulty brain wiring that makes feet sexy to them?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:06

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for being mad a my sister for leaving a long planned family vacation early?

quote:

So last year my mom turned 60 and my sister asked my brother and I if we should not gift her a little family vacation with us three kids, our partners and our children (my niece from my sister and my son), since earlier that year our father died and my mom could do with a little family time. So we both agreed and planned the vacation more than half a year in advance (time and location-wise). The trip was planned to last four days.

So one week before the trip I call my sister to make last arrangements and she tells me that she, her husband and my niece will leave one day early (saturday around 2 pm) instead of sunday around noon so that my niece could go to sleepover party. After the phone call I talked to my boyfriend about it, telling him that I felt disappointed that they want to leave early, especially since it was my sisters idea to do the trip in the first place and we planned it long in advance.

I might add, at this point, that I was never a big "family person", my family is quite big and I never really enjoyed spending time with them. I don't hate them, but I don't really love them either. Although I get along ok with my siblings, we still get on each others nerves much more easily then with friends. This is why I was never super excited to do this vacation in the first place but agreed because it is a nice thing for my mom.

So to come back to the point, my boyfriend agreed that it was kind of disappointing that they wanted to leave early, especially for such a (seemingly) minor reason as a sleepover. So we formulated a text (trying to be as polite as possible), saying we found it regrettable that they leave early, that we did not understand why a sleepover is so important that you have to cut long made plans short and asked if it maybe would be a possibility to drive her to a trainstation where she could take a train for 40 minutes (she is 9 y/o) and be met at the trainstation by a friend to be picked up so that my sister and husband could stay for the whole trip. She replied that she could understand that we felt this way and it was within our rights to say so but they would still leave early.

Fast forward to our trip, some other issues arose and we (my sister and I) had a fight the first day of the trip, where she disclosed that she was very mad at me for my "passive agressive" text and started crying that the party was very special to my niece because a recent session with the school counselor revealed that my niece had almost no friends and the sleepover was with her one very good from kindergarden that she did not see very often because they since moved to another part of town. All of this was total news to me. She then revealed that she told my mother, brother and his girlfriend the whole story and they therefore never had a problem with them leaving early. Had I known this beforehand, I might have reacted differently, but my sister and her husband insisted that IATA here. So what do you think?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:11

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

QuarkJets posted:

This is on the level of refusing to take antibiotics because the bacteria aren't evil they're not responsible for their actions

Just inform the gf about how bedbugs reproduce and she�ll be on board for murdering them all. If any creature were actually cursed by god, it would be the bedbug.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_insemination

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:18

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

AITA for being very angry at my Dad and Step Mom over their disrespectful behaviour?

quote:

Im 40 yrs old, my parents have been divorced for 35 yrs. To keep this short, I will say my parents haven't talked since my hs grad in 96. FF to today, and I'm getting married in 3 days. My mom asked permission 6 months ago to reach out to my dad regarding the rehearsal dinner; she wanted to invite them both (my dad has been remarried for 30+ yrs); they declined to talk to her about it because my dad didn't want to create drama between his wife and my mom. Had dinner with my dad and step mom last week, now they aren't coming to the rehearsal or the rehearsal dinner, and deny they were ever invited. I was pretty explicit to them about the schedule, my fiancee also invited them. It's very important to both my fiancee and I that they attend the rehearsal; my compromise was that they could just do that. They declined. AITA for being pissed off to the point where I don't even want them at my wedding?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:21

Bananaquiter: Aug 20, 2008; Ron's not here.

There is really no solution for bedbug boyfriend other than to strip of his clothes and walk away from that life.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:22

Gone Fashing: Aug 4, 2004; KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

Tythas posted:

AITA for fake throwing the ball?

this kind of stupid poo poo and the poo poo that gets posted on r/aww makes me hate reddit

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:25

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

DemoneeHo posted:

Q1. I suffered from kidney failure. My Girlfriend (4 years) and I were a perfect donor match, and she gave me hers. I’m stronger & feeling good. Meanwhile she’s gained weight and thinks giving me a kidney means I’m giving her a ring. I’m NOT. How to dump her kindly? #SBCCHAT

https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1138856587437772800

Explain that keeping the love in the family was important for finding a donor match, but you just can't get married to your long lost sister that was given up for adoption.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:31

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Gone Fashing posted:

this kind of stupid poo poo and the poo poo that gets posted on r/aww makes me hate reddit

r/aww usually has pictures of kittens so I'm cool with it.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:32

Gone Fashing: Aug 4, 2004; KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

pictures are fine its all the "boopin snoot floof pupper heckin sloot" poo poo that i cant stand.

like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/DogShowerThoughts/

anyway this isn't related to r/relationships so my bad, ill stop

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:33

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1138856590868717569

sixbrownchicks is r/relationships as poetry, man

Whoever runs their twitter account should just run an account that aggregates r/relationships in 280 characters or less because they're a loving master of the craft.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:34

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Me [22 M] with my gf [20 F] is living with her ex bf and sleeping in the same bed with him and wants me to be okay with it

quote:

It's a one bed room apartment they rent it since they were in a relationship but after breaking up they found it conventional as they don't have enough money to move out.

She says it's just for 1 more year till i can move out and work, right now school is too much.

I asked her to move with other people, she says the rent is too high and i can't work right now

we live in different cities for now, so it's long distance for the moment, i like her a lot and she seems loyal, last time we argued about it she started crying and i feel bad whether i bring it up or not, i'm confused and hurt and idk how to handle this one, as i am not experienced with dating.

TLDR: my gf is living with her ex bf and sleeping in the same bed with him and wants me to be okay with it

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:41

TheMaskedUgly: Sep 21, 2008; Let's play a different game.

Tythas posted:

AITA for fake throwing the ball?

The way OP talks about him like hes his property skeeves me out; and he straight up admits to deliberately messing with his perception of reality for fun!
Gas-lighting him so that he can never be sure that his trust is going to be turned against him.
Definitely red flags for abusive behaviour

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:45

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Gone Fashing posted:

pictures are fine its all the "boopin snoot floof pupper heckin sloot" poo poo that i cant stand.

like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/DogShowerThoughts/

anyway this isn't related to r/relationships so my bad, ill stop

perverts love dogs too man you can't just expect them to not express that love in the most perverted way possible

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:46

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Mmmmmmyyyyessssssss you have such cute little feet nomnomnom such delicate little toes oh I bet this little piggy would love to stay home all day in bed ohohohoho *flicks tongue*

That's what I imagine all unsolicited foot comments sound like to women no matter how politely they are put.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:47

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

AITA for putting pressure on my wife to get surgery

quote:

Using a throwaway because this is a sensitive topic.

My wife and I have always wanted biological children. We were both clear about that when we got married. She got pregnant soon after we married, but we lost the pregnancy. We learned that the reason is that she has an issue with her uterus (not getting specific for anonymity reasons). The issue can likely be remedied with surgery. However, any pregnancy post surgery would automatically be classified as "high risk."

My wife refuses to get the surgery. She's scared off by the idea of surgery and "high risk" pregnancy. I have been putting pressure on her to get the surgery for the last year because I think she owes it to us to at least try, since we got married with the understanding that we wanted biological children. She exploded at me yesterday and accused me of thinking of her as an incubator. I certainly don't, but I do feel cheated that she's not putting in her all to follow the plan that we both explicitly wanted at marriage. Am I the rear end in a top hat for pressuring her into following our original plans?

AITA for calling my Mom a oval office after she told me to never have children?

quote:

Background: for the past 2 years I've been having a lot of medical issues mainly involving my reproductive system. After pleantly of blood tests and a few crappy doctors, I finally got one amazing doctor who referred me for more examinations (blood test including hormonal check, CT scan, Ultrasound and pelvic exam). So far I've had the blood test and the pelvic exam, with the 2 scans scheduled this week. All signs point towards advanced Endo and PCOS. My doctor told me there was a high chance I'll never be able to be pregnant.

Obviously, I'm not dealing with that well. I don't believe it's the absolute end of the world, and there are other options, such as adoption fostering or, since I'm gay, my partner could carry a child if she wishes. But I'm still devastated to have this choice taken away from me. And with all the current medical tests, this is high on my mind.

Anyway, on to the argument with my mom. My sister and nephew were visiting today. I currently have a bad head cold, so, although I played with my nephew (nearly 2 years old) for a bit, I eventually went upstairs to rest. Later my Mom asked why I went upstairs, so I explained to her that my head hurt, the dogs were being loud and the baby was making lots of noise. To which she said "if you're going to be like that around children and only think of yourself, then do everyone a favour and never have kids".

Normally I would just brush something like that off. My mom had been at work all day and usually gets a bit snappy and says rude stuff when she's stressed. But with all my recent medical issues it really upset me. I told her that what she said was incredibly hurtful and when she tried to defend herself I said "you're being a oval office" and stormed off.

Now I have my dad calling me telling me to apologise and my yonger sister in my room saying my mom is currently downstairs crying.

Just for extra info incase it wasn't clear, my mom knows about all these medical issues and has been to most of my appointments with me. I'm also not normally an emotional person, I tend to keep everything in until I'm alone so she might not have known how much the recent news about my possible infertility is affecting me.

AITA??

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:50

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

cumshitter posted:

Mmmmmmyyyyessssssss you have such cute little feet nomnomnom such delicate little toes oh I bet this little piggy would love to stay home all day in bed ohohohoho *flicks tongue*

That's what I imagine all unsolicited foot comments sound like to women no matter how politely they are put.

That�s what all unsolicited comments sound like. After a while �do you have five minutes for the rain forest� sounds like �hey girl, can I be your daddy?� - a real thing, said to me multiple times by various ages of men.

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:51

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

maintaining eye contact, willing myself to detumesce inside the body of my partner after they referred to me as "daddy." (3 hours)

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:56

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Tythas posted:

AITA for putting pressure on my wife to get surgery

Jesus Christ, gonna pressure your wife to put her life at risk instead of adopting?

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:56

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Tythas posted:

AITA for making a compliment to the subject of a pic my GF sent me?

THEY WERE ALL TWIX!!!!

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:56

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 15:42

Schmeichy: Apr 22, 2007; 2spooky4u; Smellrose

Tythas posted:

AITA for putting pressure on my wife to get surgery

She wasn't aware of the added risks when she agreed to have kids, she had a miscarriage already, and you're asking her to risk her life for bio-children instead of considering adopting or surrogacy. YATA, her body her choice dickweed

# ? Jun 12, 2019 19:58

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