alnilam posted:

Sunday in the garage, tinny shop speaker playing my Stars of the Lid playlist, a poster of the night sky on the wall, i wrench around on an old canopy bed. Sure i have a perfectly functional bed upstairs, but *slaps side of the frame* i picked this old beaut up as a "project bed" for pretty cheap. Once i get it up and running, you're gonna see some serious sleepytime. Wait till you see how that canopy keeps out the imaginary rain.

canyoneer posted:

i don't read a lot of books on account of the dyslexia but i do think you should wear clothes while reading if you're outside or in front of a window

alnilam posted:

Thread title: should i read dune

alnilam posted:

Thread title: should i read dune

prepuce repurposed posted:

I miss ron color.

It might be time for a Posters No Longer w/ us Who We Dearly Miss thrad

FutonForensic posted:

Let me have your attention for a moment. So you’re talking about what? You’re talking about, bitching about that word you misspelled, some son of a bitch that doesn’t want to score "titty" as a word, somebody that doesn’t know what word you’re spelling, some tile you’re trying to play and so forth. Let’s talk about something important.

Are they all here? Well, I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important. Put that tile down. Tiles are for Scrabblers only. Do you think I’m loving with you? I am not loving with you. I’m here from downtown. I’m here from Milton and Bradley. And I’m here on a mission of mercy. Your name’s Levene? You call yourself a Scrabbler, you son of a bitch? The good news is you’re fired. The bad news is you’ve got, all you got, just one week to regain your high scores, starting tonight. Starting with tonight’s game of Scrabble.

Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. ‘Cause we’re adding a little something to this month’s game of Scrabble. As you all know, first prize is a Scrabble: Bible Edition. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of Scrabble score sheets. Third prize is you’re fired.

You get the picture? You’re laughing now? You got tiles. Milton and Bradley paid good money. Think of words and spell them. You can't spell words with the tiles you're given, you can’t spell poo poo, you are poo poo, hit the bricks pal and beat it ’cause you are going out.

"The tiles are weak." loving tiles are weak? You’re weak. I’ve been playing this game fifteen years. You brought a Scrabble: Pocket Edition here tonight, I brought Scrabble Platinum Edition with Rotating Board. That’s my game. And you can’t play in a man’s game. You can’t win them. And you go home and go to your wife and play Trouble. Because only one thing counts in this life. Lay down tiles in a row on the board. You hear me, you loving Scrabblers? A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-cheating. Always be cheating!

Bad Purchase posted:

RazzleDazzleHour posted:

"Okay Dennis, we just need to perform a couple of small tests."

"And then I'll be free to go?"

"Of course. As you know, you're suspected of being a Replicant, so we need to make sure you're really human. Otherwise...we can't exactly let you leave here. Surely, you understand."

"Yeah...yeah, okay."

"Don't worry, you just need to do what comes naturally, okay?"

"Okay."

"Great. Here, take this."

"What is this, a cell phone?"

"Yeah, it's a cell phone."

"What, uh...okay..."

[cell phone starts ringing]

"..."

"..."

"Aren't you going to answer the phone, Dennis?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh...yeah."

"Alright Dennis, you're free to go."

"Wait, aren't there more tests?"

"Well, usually there are, but you passed this one so convincingly that I'm absolutely certain you're human."

"Oh, uh, cool. Well...goodbye I guess."

"Goodbye Dennis."

google THIS posted:

My last thought before the voracious army ants clean my bones: All of them, every last one, still live with their mom.

alnilam posted:

Topic: predated [as in, hunted/killed by] by a loser animal

Twenty Four posted:

calling someone a savage, but its Adam Savage from mythbusters and he's just like "yeah, whats up?"

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

increase your Personal Space bubble to reduce Anxiety by t-posing in public transit while the soviet national anthem plays from your phone speaker. if you jump as the bus crosses zones you'll clip out of the back and land without having to pay the fare.

FutonForensic posted:

my favorite three stooges skit is when larry and curly spill paint all over moe's taint, and he gets real mad and pokes out their taints

Splatmaster posted:

lost my old email posted:

alnilam posted:

stolen valor

Farecoal posted:

You're a loose cannon, Splatmaster! Leave your Posting Badge on the desk and get out of here.

Finger Prince posted:

alnilam posted:

Finger Prince posted:

Oh, my, God Becky, look at that box
It is so big, it looks like
One of those byob guys' girlfriends.
But, ya know, who understands those byob guys?
They only talk to it, because,
It looks like a total shipping container, 'kay?
I mean, the box, is just so big
I can't believe it's just so square, it's like out there
I mean gross, look
She's just so, beige

I like big box and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a box slides in with a corrugated lid
And a square shape in your face
You get sprung, want to pull up tough
'Cause you notice that box was stuffed
Deep in the shrink wrap its wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I want to get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that lid you got makes (me so horny)
Ooh, cardboard-smooth-skin
You say you want to get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average crate, see
I've seen her stackin'
To hell with romancin'
She's a square, crate
Got it goin' like modular freight
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' boxboards are the thing
Take the average man and ask him that
She gotta pack and stack
So, fellas (yeah) Fellas (yeah)
Is your girlfriend a huge box? (hell yeah)
Tell 'em to ship it (ship it) ship it (ship it)
Ship that sturdy box
Baby got box (FedEx face with the UPS booty)

Baby got box (FedEx face with the UPS booty)

I like 'em square, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I want to get you home
And ugh, triple-wall, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Amazon
'Cause single ply boxes are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and sturdy
So find that sturdy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble wrap
So I'm lookin' at box videos
Crushed corner bimbos saggin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my boxes like Flo Jo
A word to the thick cardboard boxes, I want to get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I want to pack
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to ship it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the shipment on
So, boxes (Yeah) boxes (Yeah)
If you want to role in my Mercedes Sprinter (Yeah)
Then turn around, fill it up
Even bag boys got to shout
Baby got box

Baby got box
Yeah, baby, when it comes to boxes
Amazon ain't got nothin'
To do with my selection
176-176-176? Ha ha, only if she's 4'0".

So your girlfriend rolls a GM, packing tape by 3M
But 3M ain't got a triple wall box with lid in the back of her GM
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got volume, hon
You can do side bends or lid-folds
But please don't lose that cube
Some brothers want to play that hard role
And tell you that the box ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Packworld says you're flat
Well I ain't down with that
'Cause your waist is square and your angles are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the boxboard crates in the magazines
You ain't it, Miss Thing
Give me a triple wall box, I can't resist it
Packing peanuts and foam didn't miss it
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his boxes are on my list
He had game but he chose to flatten 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So boxes, if the shape is square,
And you want a triple X get tare,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got box

Baby got box

Drink-Mix Man posted:

bee eater posted:

Finger Prince posted:

Finger Prince posted:

FutonForensic posted:

Splatmaster posted:

Lurking and reading posts in BYOB makes BYOB a part of you.

Posting and contributing in BYOB make you a part of BYOB.

Splatmaster posted:

You (coming home late drunk): *hiccup* Wow, I'm pretty drunk... where did I hide *hic!* that extra key...

Stalker (from the bushes): You're getting warmer...

Goons Are Great posted:

Woah that's great because there's no other way than the bond that is formed by true friendship to be able to find one another inside an IKEA

Jolo posted:

She was looking for STORJORM, I was looking for RÅGRUND, but what we found... was each other.

google THIS posted:

If you wanna be my stalker
You gotta get rid of my friends (gotta get rid of my friends)
Once you isolate me the party never ends

If you wanna be my stalker
You can't let them live (can't let them live)
And ultimately not me either but that's the way it is

FutonForensic posted:

google THIS posted:

Moses: Soon we shall be in the Promised Land, a land flowing with milk and honey!

Israelites: (noncommittal grumbling)

Moses: Did I say honey? I meant it was like honey.

Israelites: (inquisitive noises)

super sweet best pal posted:

On the outskirts of town, next to a series of old dirt roads, there sits an old abandoned car wash and 1950s diner. The buildings were erected in the postwar boom to cater to greasers who raced their hot rods through the desert. The place was very popular until about '58, when the owner of both businesses committed suicide after his son died in a race.

Park your car outside the wash and drop your car keys and a quarter in the tray at the pay booth. Turn around and you'll notice your car has disappeared. A voice from inside the booth will say something along the lines of "We'll have that ready for you in a jiff, why not grab a soda at the diner while you wait," but when you turn back around, no one is there and your keys and quarter are also missing. If you inspect the wash bays, you'll find your car sitting in one, looking like it had been abandoned for years. Don't bother trying to open it, it will be locked and even if you brought a spare key or break open a window and try to hotwire it, it won't start.

Do what the voice said and head on over to the diner. From the outside it will look like an ordinary abandoned fast food restaurant, but the second you walk through the door it will be brightly lit and full of people wearing 1950s fashions. Music will be playing on the jukebox, a generic hit from that era you'll have trouble remembering later. The booths are all full, so head on over to the bar and order whatever you like.

Order something and wait. You can try making small talk with the people next to you, but you'll find them to be poor conversationalists. Eventually the jukebox will go quiet as a man who looks like he's cosplaying Fonzie walks through the door. If you looked at a photo of the owner's son while researching the place, this man might seem familiar, but you won't recognize him. The other patrons at the bar will clear off and he'll order a beer. The soda jerk will apologize and say they don't serve alcohol. This will send him into a rage and you'll likely spill your drink on him. He'll get pissed and pull out a switchblade. At this point you'll start noticing that not all the patrons are wearing 50s clothing, some are wearing more recent fashions and all of those patrons have noticeable knife wounds. You can talk him down by challenging him to a race instead.

You'll be provided with a hot rod and instructed to pull up to a ramshackle starting gate in the desert. If you drive safely while keeping pace, you should be able to win. He'll drive into a rock while taunting you and crash (you'll recall later this matches up with the owner's son's obituary). At this point you'll black out and wake up in front of the car wash. Your car will be where you parked it last night and you'll wonder if it was all a dream, but the car will be cleaner than when you arrived, like it just came off the showroom floor.

Hugh Malone posted:

cda posted:

TVsVeryOwn posted:

lost my old email posted:

google THIS posted:

(H. erectus touching a huge black monolith)

Monolith: Lol not you

(H. heidelbergensis touches the monolith, learns to use weapons, and drives away the H. erectus)

Monolith: I just made you beat off Homo erectus lmao

beer pal posted:

whereas dune is a claustrophobic thriller where the protagonists are menaced by just a single dune, the sequel, dunes, has us on the dunes' home turf, surrounded by dunes on all sides

cda posted: