/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

dudeness posted:

If you want to see what happens when you spend all day writing code for Minecraft does for your empathy look no further than it's creator.

I thought Notch did hardly any of the work anyhow, so how would he know?

# ? Jun 27, 2019 00:48

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 14:49

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

These TIFU posts are just dumb and gross.

'Hey guys, I totally went down on my cousin!'
'I got caught sucking my own dick, for real!'

# ? Jun 27, 2019 00:54

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Hey guys, I totally went down onI found a tracking device in my car. What now?

quote:

NY - Two weeks ago, my car was broken into in the driveway of my home. I didn�t notice anything missing from the car, but the inner door pull on the drivers door was broken off and left on the passenger seat, which led me to believe that someone had been in the car (rather than it simply falling off from me closing the door). The following week, someone left a bouquet of red roses in the door handle of my car sometime between the time I got home at 9 pm and 8 am the next morning. My landlord put up a video surveillance in use sign after this as an interim deterrent before setting up actual cameras. The next morning, the sign was moved. No one on the property has done any of this, nor have any of our guests.

I was worried that someone was following me, so had the car combed over. We didn�t find anything on the outside of the car, but I wasn�t satisfied, so I took it for a second opinion. We found a tracking device wired into the wires beneath the stereo (near the footwell of the drivers side) with a SIM card in it. All numbers on the SIM and motherboard look like they�ve been scratched off.

We were able to connect the SIM to an old phone (it�s a little larger than the ones in use today). UICCD for the SIM and other information is unavailable. The device was on and blinking before it was disconnected. With this info, the cops have been unhelpful because they say it could have been installed to prevent a previous owner from defaulting on a lease and that consumer grade tracing isn�t illegal. But the device is exposed motherboard and wires and taped into place, not what I would imagine a dealer installing.

I�ve spoken to my parents about it (the only people in my life who would be interested in my whereabouts) and they�re just as bewildered as I am. Is there anything I can do to have this further investigated from a legal standpoint? This is the last straw in a series of really strange anonymous harassment that�s lasted for months.

This alone would be quite the problem, to put it very lightly. But some people in the comments brought up OP's past issues, and boy, do they paint a picture:

Someone has tried to impersonate me and those close to me, and it's ruining my life.

[NY] I found out my parents have most-likely been stalking me. What do I do?

Is it possible to identify who is behind a series of cyber harassment and interference?

Can you trace the source of cyber stalking and interference?

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:07

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Play posted:

you should take a nice chunk of acid or mushrooms and do the same thing. you will be absolutely blown away when you close your eyes

I have done an irresponsible amount of psychedelic drugs and yes I agree it super rules

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:10

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

How actually effective is that, though? Does working retail actually make it more likely people will feel empathy for other retail workers later on, or do they just take it as an excuse of "well I had to suffer through it, so they do too, so gently caress it it's my turn to be the shithead customer!"?

I worked retail for several years and the only lessons I learned was that retail is eminently terrible, demoralizing, and has absolutely no value besides a very lowly paycheck. I've gained much more empathy for my fellow human beings through my current deskside IT role where I deal with friendly, decent people who are actually happy and grateful to see me.

The one and only reason why people harp on low wage retail/food service's value is because they hated their experiences and want to see you suffer before hitting the professional world too.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Jun 27, 2019

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:23

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Me [17 M] on how to deal with my parents [45M] & [44F] On getting a Job, while I already make far more than minimum wage.

Many comments are telling him to move out, and he is considering it.

buy their house and evict them

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:24

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Dazerbeams posted:

I don’t know what to tell you. Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is a way to help people understand that all jobs are lovely and that workers deserve to be respected even if the worker is some high school dropout or whatever. Sorry you don’t grasp that.

Working retail doesn't really help teach empathy or build character or anything it just sucks rear end and you can kind of assume that it's gonna suck rear end without having to do it

He will gain nothing useful from his parents forcing him to do this and will be losing out on time spent learning how to do a skill that, while you can debate whether it's sensible for it to be or not, is absolutely gonna set him up better for success later in life

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:32

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Dazerbeams posted:

It might teach them humility or some social skills which is super important and not likely to be touched upon in any kind of STEM field. Everyone should work in retail or hospitality at least once in their life.

I think your whole deal is becoming "ignore part of a story to play devil's advocate for the dumbest part of it, especially if it requires you to make things up." Because I cannot even start on how that's clearly in no way what they are doing judging by all the details.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:41

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

areyoucontagious posted:

Thanks I loving hate it

Can we not post obvious porn?

Well there goes most of r/tifu.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 01:45

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

I guess I�m not really arguing this particular instance so much as I�m defending the value of working in retail/restaurant business. Knowing that the job sucks and living it are two different things.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:05

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

areyoucontagious posted:

Thanks I loving hate it

Can we not post obvious porn?

I think that guy just transcribed a scene from Requiem for a Dream, right?

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:06

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

chitoryu12 posted:

Well there goes most of r/tifu.

TIFU by posting lovely amateur erotica in the relationship trainwrecks thread

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:07

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My[26M] girlfriend[28F] called me cheap during a disagreement, and it's making me rethink our relationship

quote:

My GF and I have been dating for around a year. I'd say that most of the time when we go out, I usually cover the bill and Venmo request her later. Sometimes I'll treat her to something, sometimes she'll treat me to something -- overall I'd say that I cover 55-60% of expenses and she covers 40-45%, so it's roughly equal. Also we make around the same amount of money.

A few days ago we were at dinner and I mentioned that my one-year-mark at my current company is coming up soon. She jokingly said "Oh so that means you'll get to treat me to more stuff right??" I responded "Ha keep dreaming babe" jokingly as well.

Later on the topic of paying came up again, and she mentioned how she hates it when I Venmo request for everything, and that she wishes I treated her more often. She said that I was "kinda cheap" and I agreed with her, saying that she knew this from the very beginning. I asked her why exactly should I pay for most of our stuff when we make the same amount of money, and she said "because men and women aren't equal in society, it just makes sense that as a man you should pay extra to make up for the inequalities women face". Which honestly baffled the gently caress out of me because if I wanted my money to go towards women's inequality I'd give it to a charity or shelter instead of buying my girlfriend extra dinners or drinks.

Now I can't get what she said out of my head. To her credit, the next day she apologized for what she said during that conversation, and said that she didn't really mean it. But still, now that the cat's out of the bag I can't help but feel like I'm being used as a provider (which is funny because I'm not even in a very high paying field). Honestly debating on whether I should break up now.

Am I overreacting, or is this a huge red flag?

TL;DR - GF called me cheap during a disagreement, says she wishes I treated her more, and gave a really weird response on why I should pay more

EDIT -- To clarify on the Venmoing thing, usually when the bill comes at a restaurant or bar, she's normally the one to bring up "Want to just get this and I Venmo you later?" So I thought we were on the same page about Venmoing each other, but apparently not.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:08

Pibur: Jan 28, 2019

Straight White Shark posted:

TIFU by posting lovely amateur erotica in the relationship trainwrecks thread

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:10

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

I'm imagining these old crones in ratty robes standing around him in a circle chanting "cum in your mouth" as part of a spell or something maybe and his upended rear end in a top hat is the cauldron.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:10

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

I mean I guess if I was the dude's assistant I'd stick around to see if he actually came in his mouth before I ran out, completely mortified.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:13

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [29F] BF [32M] made a matching dog instagram with his ex [30ishF]

quote:

My boyfriend and his ex are friends. They dated throughout highschool and most of college, lived together. They broke up and remained friends. She has a bf and he has me. I am ok with their friendship. I encourage it. We invite her to do things with us. I think she is cool.

She is obsessed with her dog. To the point she made an Instagram account for it. I know this isn't something my boyfriend would normally do but she talked him into making one as well. He did. They both have the same breed. They followed each other first. Comment cute on each others stuff. Ok that's whatever. I am an adult and hardly use insta myself. Just got into it recently actually.

Then why am I irrationally jealous that he made a matching Instagram with his ex? I haven't said anything to him. But I think him making this matching Instagram with her is a bit too much. A bit too couplish. He wouldn't do this with his male friends. I haven't said anything to him. I most likely won't.

I feel bad for being jealous. Am I being an irrational gf or is this too much?

TL;DR - Boyfriend made a matching dog Instagram with his ex (still friends which I am ok with/ encourage) But I feel like it is too much and now jealous.

UPDATE: For anyone who commented. I actually did talk about it with him. Since he could tell I was a bit off.

He told me it was just to compete against her. To see who could get more followers. He said he would delete it, which I told him not to. That I was just a bit uncomfortable.

But he nodded, told me he understood. That he didn't see it from that viewpoint and he should have, he should have discussed it with me. That he can understand why I was uncomfortable and that my comfort is his number one priority. He asked me to forgive him. I told him there really was nothing to forgive. I apologized for getting jealous and he completely understood and there was nothing to be sorry for.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:23

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Pibur posted:

TIFU deepthroating myself in front of my new assistant

Edit: spoilering the more... Graphic bits

lmao that owns

not surprisingly, there is a whole reddit devoted to autofelatio. goes well with the_donald i guess

really kinda amazing that like 99% of tifu is completely fake, seems like way too much effort just to get reddit gold for some fake posting on a throwaway account, but whatever. too mcuh detail trying too hard to know what they're talking about to not appear fake

Xaris fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Jun 27, 2019

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:23

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Haifisch posted:

My [29F] BF [32M] made a matching dog instagram with his ex [30ishF]

Those dogs are loving.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:31

iustorum_anime: Apr 4, 2016

My GF(31F) is upset I(25M) don�t trust her word. I love her but she�s constantly wrong and mixes stuff up and it gets me in uncomfortable situations.

quote:

My GF has a heart of gold but misunderstands stuff ALOT. It�s gotten to the point where if she tells me something I normally look into it to confirm it�s true. Example:

we�ll be going somewhere and she�ll be like �dinner is free here!� And then we get there and it�s �dinner is free on every second tuesday for seniors�

We�re in Toronto getting on a train from the airport to the city, she is adamantly telling me that it�s free. We get on the train without getting a ticket, end up receiving a fine for it.

We�re in Cuba and she tells me that our hotel includes travel to and from the airport. We get to the airport, that�s not the case and we�re stranded for a bit.

We go to a bar that�s a sold out show and she says she�ll get us in for free because she knows the artist. We get there and he�s a dude she knew for a second in high school and there�s no chance in hell were getting there.

She says things with such confidence that at first I didn�t think I had any reason to doubt her. She�s not maliciously lying.

I�ve learnt that if she is telling me something and it is to good to be true she probably has it wrong. I now question her when she tells me stuff like that. I�ll just ask simple questions like, where did you hear that, are you sure that�s what it meant? Can you show me where it says that?

This pisses her off to no end. She says I have no faith in her, which to be honest I don�t. I love her with all my heart but she gets stuff wrong and it�s cost me so much time and money that I like to confirm myself with my own eyes now.

I don�t think this is super unreasonable but it obviously makes her upset. What is the best way to go about talking to her about it? I don�t want to straight up say I don�t trust her word but to be honest I don�t.

TLDR: GF gets stuff wrong all the time and puts us in weird uncomfortable situations. Me questioning her bugs her but she is more than no wrong.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:35

ScentOfAnOtaku: Aug 25, 2006; I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

chemtrail huffer posted:

My GF(31F) is upset I(25M) don�t trust her word. I love her but she�s constantly wrong and mixes stuff up and it gets me in uncomfortable situations.

Lol, little things like getting stuck in Cuba, and fines for probably about $200 CDN for not having your less than $5 ticket. Just loving break up with her, she's either a pathological liar or just plain dumb.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:44

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Haifisch posted:

My[26M] girlfriend[28F] called me cheap during a disagreement, and it's making me rethink our relationship

My first impression was that the whole venmo thing felt like an awkward invoice for the date and kinda unromantic in general, easy alternative being to just alternate who treats who. However, if she was the one suggesting they split it that way and is just hoping he opts not to after the fact then I dunno that's kind of a lovely mind reading game and she needs to be more upfront about what she wants.

Also feels weird to play the wage gap card if they have equal income and he's already paying a bit more, but that more boils down to whether or not you trust how the OP is portraying it. Perhaps her point was more that she in their relationship has to spend $x extra a month on things he appreciates from her and wants him to make that up by taking a larger share of the date budget which is a reasonable thing OP may or may not have left out whether intentionally or by being oblivious.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:51

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

chitoryu12 posted:

Well there goes most of r/tifu.

And nothing of value was lost.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:52

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

I would not be able to live with someone that stupid. I've had friends start to believe serious conspiracy poo poo and dropped them for that. I can't really imaging spending my life with someone that had the same understanding of the world that a child has.

He's going to stay with that woman until she forgets their child in a hot car halfway across the planet.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:55

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

chemtrail huffer posted:

My GF(31F) is upset I(25M) don�t trust her word. I love her but she�s constantly wrong and mixes stuff up and it gets me in uncomfortable situations.

poo poo, it's my dad. Sorry, but it's terminal.

Also she might have ADHD.

Seriously, it's not necessarily stupidity, it's mental illness. Dad remembers things poorly, but he's got lifelong untreated ADHD and I guess that's just how every memory feels to him, so he thinks whatever he's poorly remembered is right.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 02:57

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Scathach posted:

I would not be able to live with someone that stupid. I've had friends start to believe serious conspiracy poo poo and dropped them for that. I can't really imaging spending my life with someone that had the same understanding of the world that a child has.

He's going to stay with that woman until she forgets their child in a hot car halfway across the planet.

She seems to get tunnel vision when the word 'free' comes up. So she won't forget the kid in the car; she'll end up leaving tthem with a free childcare service based out of a windowless van.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:00

Bobcats: Aug 5, 2004; Oh

Scathach posted:

I would not be able to live with someone that stupid. I've had friends start to believe serious conspiracy poo poo and dropped them for that. I can't really imaging spending my life with someone that had the same understanding of the world that a child has.

He's going to stay with that woman until she forgets their child in a hot car halfway across the planet.

I had go to through this with someone. Once, at dinner, I had to patiently explain that there were not 56 weeks in a year.

She was very smart but would get very, very fried by stress.

The last part was one of my huge fears about continuing the relationship that I didn't dare bring up. :ohdear:

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:03

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My girlfriend [22/F] just ruined our vacation because she overreacted to a joke I made.

quote:

Last week, me and my girlfriend went on a vacation that we had been planning for a while. We flew out to Los Angeles for a getaway and the plan was to just get a nice hotel and do all sorts of things like go to the beach, sight-see, eat at fancy restaurants and all of the typical L.A. stuff. But this past weekend in the middle of the trip, we were walking back to our hotel from a restaurant and we stopped at this nearby dessert place that sells Italian ice. We both got a little cup and when I asked her what flavor she got, she said "Wild cherry." I responded with "That's the most wild we've been all trip."

I honestly didn't mean anything by that comment. It was just a little quip and that's just how I am. But she apparently took offense to that comment and she starts asking me "What's that suppose to mean?" I told her that it didn't mean anything, but she kept asking me "What? Am I not wild enough for you? Are you unhappy with the trip so far?" She then starts asking me what she has to do to prove that she's "wild enough" for the trip. She starts screaming at me about how she's going to strip naked and streak through the hotel lobby to prove that our trip is "wild" and I kept telling her to calm down. She ends up throwing her ice at me, says "We're suppose to be having a fun trip, not a wild one!" We didn't talk for the rest of the night.

The next day, she woke up without me to go get breakfast and by the time I had gotten to the buffet, she was already finishing up her food and she just walked by me without saying a word to me. Later that day, she was lying out by the pool and I went to join her. I sat in the chair next to her, she saw me, and said that she wants alone time. I told her to stop ignoring me and to talk to me about our fight, but she responded with "Why? I'm not wild enough for you, remember?" She gets up to walk away, but my anger got the best of me and I shoved her in the pool. She was screaming about how much of I jerk I am and people were staring at us fight. It reached a point where an employee had to separate us and we ended up just cutting the trip short by a day.

We're both back home and we're not talking right now. I haven't put any effort in trying to contact her, nor has she with me. I'm really worried about the state of our relationship right now and I want to talk with her about how to fix things. The thing is that I really don't see what I did wrong to start the whole fight. How do I figure this out?

tldr: Girlfriend overreacted to a joke of mine and it lead to a fight that ruined our vacation.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:05

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Ah poo poo it could be ADHD/depression/anxiety/etc. so now I feel bad. Anxiety makes my memory loving terrible some days. Well if it's that I feel sorry for her, but if she's just garden-variety stupid I hope he doesn't marry her.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:08

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Scathach posted:

Ah poo poo it could be ADHD/depression/anxiety/etc. so now I feel bad. Anxiety makes my memory loving terrible some days. Well if it's that I feel sorry for her, but if she's just garden-variety stupid I hope he doesn't marry her.

She's still an rear end for getting offended he doesn't trust her memory when it's clearly a constant problem that keeps causing them grief. And finding a way to cope with this problem would be nice. Maybe she should just always keep paper records of any promotional. It won't help with the artist one, but it would help with other things.

It really does mess with your mind how confident someone with this problem can sound though. I'm just over 30 and I still have to remind myself sometimes not to trust Dad's word, to make sure he has something written or double-check any information with Mom. He never sounds unsure, not even a little.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:13

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

LadyPictureShow posted:

My girlfriend [22/F] just ruined our vacation because she overreacted to a joke I made.

1000% guarantee that this dude makes little mildly cutting jokes constantly, always very slightly at her expense, and it's been bottling up for however long they've dated

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:14

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My girlfriend [22/F] just ruined our vacation because she overreacted to a joke I made.

Lol dude you shoved your gf into a pool and are blaming her for making a scene

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:15

ScentOfAnOtaku: Aug 25, 2006; I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My girlfriend [22/F] just ruined our vacation because she overreacted to a joke I made.
but my anger got the best of me and I shoved her in the pool

That right there is what makes me sick. That's not ok, in no ones mind should this be ok. He is literally saying, my anger got the best of me so I hit her. She may be passive aggressive (according to him), but he is a straight up physical abuser (also according to him).

I also think DragQueenofAngmar hit the nail on the head.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:25

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

ScentOfAnOtaku posted:

That right there is what makes me sick. That's not ok, in no ones mind should this be ok. He is literally saying, my anger got the best of me so I hit her. She may be passive aggressive (according to him), but he is a straight up physical abuser (also according to him).

I also think DragQueenofAngmar hit the nail on the head.

I mean throwing things at people is physical abuse too, which was also in the story as something she did to him when she was upset.

And yeah obviously something prior went down on that trip for her to go full meltdown over that quip to the point of assaulting him and then running away. Sounds like there was already a cloud over them both and the comment struck a nerve because she was already stressed out thinking he wasn't enjoying the trip.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:37

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

SirSamVimes posted:

And nothing of value was lost.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 03:38

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My[M17] first time asking a crush[F17] out for coffee. Got rejected and said something stupid af. How to apologise and still seem masculine?

quote:

I met Jean* when we were submitting university applications. We talked about the applications and the conversation slowly turned into more personal things like hobbies, ambitions and about our home countries. Her replies included a response followed by questions which seemed to indicate that she wanted to get to know me better. I felt like we shared some chemistry.

We continued our conversation as we walked back to our boarding houses and went back to our own blocks. Back in my room, I was quite happy that I had discovered a new, interesting friend, but I never thought about her again because of how busy I was at the time.

A month later, we go an ecology field trip organized by our school. She puts on contacts and lets her hair down and she soars from a geeky (but still kinda cute) looking 6/10 to a majestic 8.5/10. I�m stunned, and my eyes keep wandering in her direction whenever she�s in my line of sight. I look away or try to resist looking whenever I found myself noticing her.

We spent the next three days walking through the forest, making a lot of small talk, but I feel like we didn�t hit it off as strongly as we did before although I did make her laugh a little when we flirted. Also, we had to form a circle quite frequently to listen for directions from the field guide, but she didn�t make much eye contact when I looked at her from across the circle. My feelings were mixed but I went with optimism and assumed that she was had some sort of interest in me, that maybe she was just shy.

I read a post on r/relationships one night during the trip about a girl�s body language and how shy girls don�t make much eye contact with their crush or try not to speak too much in fear of pushing them away. I also read a lot of posts with advice saying that if she�s playing games with you, you don�t want to play those games and want to just move on (this part is important for later) to find another girl.

On the bus ride home, I decided to read up articles about how to tell a girl you like her, because I was quite infatuated with her. I got back to my room, however, decided that she wasn�t really interested, moved on and left it as that.

Fast forward two weeks later, the IQ test results for medical schools come out and I scored pretty well. I got quite excited and texted her on Facebook asking her how she did because I thought she had also done the test. Turns out she didn�t have to do it. I was feeling very confident in the moment so began making a lot of jokes and flirting a lot. I thought that with this slight amount of chemistry, she had a very good potential of becoming attracted to me.

I recalled hearing through the grapevine that Jean wasn�t interested in a relationship because she was focused on studies (which is completely understandable) but being the persistent guy I am, I still decided to try my luck. I decided to stay on her radar by texting her once every 3-4 days during our month long Christmas break when we went back to our home countries. The conversations were quite mild and platonic although a little teasing was involved. She would mirror my flirtatious comments by responding flirtatiously, but she never initiated any of it. During the break, I spoke to my best friend[M21] about my situation, when he suggested that I ask her out on a date, which is something I had never done before. Previously, with all my exes, our friendships had naturally evolved into relationships.

This time, I wanted to try a different approach, so instead of trying too hard to friend myself into her life, I just decided to ask her out for coffee. After New Years�, I decided that it would be romantic to tell her how I felt and asked her out.

Now, this part is where I cringe and feel like digging a hole and staying in it forever. I told her she�d been popping up in my thoughts quite often and she was really gorgeous and that it would be an insult not to ask her out for coffee. I asked her if she was free the next week and she said she was very flattered but then said she had made plans to go out on the exact same day with her friend (she doesn�t go out a lot).

Not knowing what to do, I pulled up about 10 articles on google from Quora, RSD, Yahoo answers, random sites like Pop Sugar, Elite Eye Contact, hell even Bodybuilding and AskMen forums and all of them said that if a girl tells you she�s busy and doesn�t try to reschedule, chances are she�s not interested in going out with you. So, I lay in bed for 2 hours, gazing into the white-washed ceiling, crafting the best response that was supposed to preserve my masculinity, 'coolness' and show that I wasn't afraid of rejection.

What I thought sounded confident and unafraid backfired and ended up just sounding cocky and desperate. In the exact words, I said: �Alright alright two things, one are you just playing hard to get or two do I take that as a gentle no?� She didn�t text back. Now, at this point you might be thinking �what the hell is wrong with this dude?� but I really didn�t know what to say because it was my first time asking a girl out. Please don�t be too hard on me.

Now two months later, I�m sitting in front of my laptop writing to you amazing and wise people on r/relationships because I can�t seem to leave this alone. I said something extreme like that and I know how much of a douche I sounded like. I still have to see her in school and when we walk past each other we still acknowledge each other and exchange a courteous smile. I sat opposite her during (we share the same friend group) lunchtime a few weeks ago and started speaking to her when she joined in on our (my friends) conversation and she replied me normally. It�s good in the way that it keeps our classmate-relationship away from personal ones, but I feel this unspoken tension in the air.

We�ll be graduating in about 5 months, and I don�t want to come off to her as a douche or some immature guy, but I want her to know that that 2 months ago, I said something stupid and that hopefully now we�re all cool with it. I don�t want to part ways with an awkward sentence lingering in the immediate vicinity of our chat box if I ever speak to her again in the future.

Hence, what I�d like to know is when and how I should bring this up to her. I only see her in corridors and sometimes in the cafeteria, so do I say this to her at the end of the year before we graduate or do it asap, when she�s probably already forgotten about it. A burden of guilt has been gradually growing in me which has been troubling me more and more and I feel the need to apologise to her. Do I just bring it up in the middle of the corridor? We don�t share any classes together. Or should I just play it cool? I don�t want her to hate me.

How I imagine it going would be something like: �Hey Jean, it was my first time asking a girl out and I read up about too many articles and how to do it and how to respond to various replies. I take full responsibility for creating a stupid reply and being so rude and sounding like a complete douchebag. I just wanna say that it isn�t really who I am to give somebody a reply like that and I didn�t mean any harm. So, I just wanted to say that I hope we can forget about it. I hope we can move on from this sticky situation and leave this corridor knowing that I said something stupid and rude to you, I�ve acknowledged it, I�m here to rectify the mistake and apologise to you. I�m sorry if I said anything overtly idiotic and I do hope your forgive me and that we can be cool with this. Thanks for your time.�

What do you think? I know this will decrease my �perceived social value� and �give her the upper hand� to our current relationship, but at this point, I don�t really care for those things and I just want to do the right thing and rectify a situation horrendous as this.

tl;dr: Asked my crush if she was playing hard to get; no reply. Playing it cool when interacting in school but not making much conversation anymore. Advice on apology please!

# ? Jun 27, 2019 04:11

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

DemoneeHo posted:

I admit that I suggest as a solution a lot. But never has it been more justified until now

My Moms new boyfriend(42M) keeps trying to �join in� with Me(17F) and my(17F) girlfriend. I can�t tell my mom because she is super homophobic.

mom your new bf is trying to molest me and my bff.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 04:12

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Haifisch posted:

My[M17] first time asking a crush[F17] out for coffee. Got rejected and said something stupid af. How to apologise and still seem masculine?

quote:
Hence, what I�d like to know is when and how I should bring this up to her. I only see her in corridors and sometimes in the cafeteria, so do I say this to her at the end of the year before we graduate or do it asap, when she�s probably already forgotten about it

She has, but you won't. You will always remember this and get a horrible feeling of embarrassment when you specifically think about it. Good luck.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 04:18

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for thinking my girlfriend is grieving too much over a turtle

quote:

So my girlfriend’s pet turtle of 1 year recently died. She came back from a trip to discover a broken filter and her precious turtle floating upside down. It broke her heart because she feels at fault for not investing in better equipment, which could be true but honestly situations like these are unpredictable and could happen to anyone. She cried for hours on end the first day and it was hard to see her so upset.

Of course, I felt really bad and did my best to be there and comfort her. But it’s been a little over 2 weeks and she’s still very distraught about it all. Personally, I don’t think a person could ever develop that intense of a bond with a turtle simply because of the nature of animals like that. They’re not sociable or affectionate “pets”, if anything they’re pretty passive and unfulfilling in terms of reciprocating their owner’s love. Yet my girlfriend loved that smelly little thing with all her being; she was constantly talking about it and buying treats for it.

I helped her bury it in her yard because she refused to throw it away “like meaningless trash”. I thought it would give her closure and she would be past it by now, but she still talks about her turtle excessively, reminiscing on how special it was. True, for anxious creatures, her turtle was strangely comfortable around her. I think it’s because during the first few months of her getting it, she would hand wash the tank once a week(she couldn’t afford a big tank yet) and let him out on the grass so he probably became used to her presence. But she looks too deep into small things like this and sees it as an indication that her turtle loved her back and enjoyed her company, which is something I feel like you shouldn’t hope for or expect from undomesticated animals.

I haven’t shared any of this with her because I don’t want to upset her or invalidate her feelings, but I do think she needs to get over it soon. It’s just not healthy to be so attached to something that wasn’t capable of caring about you to the same extent. I’m planning on slowly talking to her about it, but don’t know if that’s the right thing to do right now. There’s so many other things she should be focusing on like work and school but this has been the one and only thing on her mind.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 04:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 14:49

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

chitoryu12 posted:

Well there goes most of r/tifu.

It can take the rest of it with it.

chemtrail huffer posted:

My GF(31F) is upset I(25M) don�t trust her word. I love her but she�s constantly wrong and mixes stuff up and it gets me in uncomfortable situations.

�Heart of gold but misunderstands stuff a lot� just means dumb, dude. She�s dumb, and you already know you can�t live with it forever.

Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Jun 27, 2019

# ? Jun 27, 2019 04:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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