/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Tythas posted:

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to leave his pregnant wife

the human race was a mistake

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:33

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# ? May 9, 2024 15:24

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

ElGroucho posted:

This dude/lady may be shocked to hear, but everyone thinks everyone else is a bad parent, maybe don't take it personally, and also don't feed your kid loving chips and maybe get control of your feral child

Holy crap are you guy who posted the AITA about yelling at a mother of 3 for taking too long in the airport security line for being slow and unprepared or something? She's supposed to listen to her mother in law poo poo talking her and then reflect on how to best take the criticism on board?

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:35

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Giant_Pupils posted:

Here is a personal insult.

Don't take it personally.

???

Sounds like you get it

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:39

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

The Bramble posted:

Holy crap are you guy who posted the AITA about yelling at a mother of 3 for taking too long in the airport security line for being slow and unprepared or something? She's supposed to listen to her mother in law poo poo talking her and then reflect on how to best take the criticism on board?

another bad parent, i take it

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:40

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Tythas posted:

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to leave his pregnant wife

holy gently caress lmao. this is like the most standard cliche for those involved as the third party marriage-cheating that everyone should not be this god drat stupid. there have been fuckign dozens of movies, books, magazines that no one should fall for "oh this guy is married but he doesnt love her and leaving her soon, HE"LL BE ALL MINE and certainly won't do the exact same thign to me~~~~" that god drat.. how

i really want to know ages in this case, it sounds like 19F and 37M

Xaris fucked around with this message at 19:46 on Jun 27, 2019

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:44

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My [18M] Mother [42F] trying to take over my graduation speech

quote:

So I�m the valedictorian of my class and graduation is tomorrow. So basically I have the most important speech of the ceremony and I�ve worked really hard on it for two weeks last month and have been practicing to the point of memorization. I feel like I�ve really put my heart and soul into this speech and I�ve gotten approved by my counselor principal English teacher and friends who I�ve shown it to. So last night I decided to give my mom the draft of what I�m speaking on tomorrow and yelled at me about how bad it was. Then last night she decided to make her own draft of the speech and when she gave it to me this morning, it just sounded nothing like me or what I wanted to portray. The new version didn�t even look like my old speech, and I would feel bad giving something that wasn�t even mine. Some of the changes did improve the speech, but overall it just wasn�t me. When I told her that I didn�t like the changes, she exploded and threatened to walk out on my speech if I don�t use her version. My dad usually just agrees with my mom and when I tried to reason with her again, we just ended up arguing again. Tomorrow is supposed to be a really special moment for me and my class. Any tips on how to approach this with my mom?

tl;dr Have a valedictorian speech and my mom didnt like mine so she made her own version and threatens to make a scene if I don�t use hers.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:45

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Well if the way to get him to stay with a woman is for her to be pregnant, I got an idea for you!

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:46

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

DemoneeHo posted:

My [18M] Mother [42F] trying to take over my graduation speech

Oldest writing trick in the book: thank them for the improvements, change nothing, then tell them, "Wow, your improvements really connected with the audience!"

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:48

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

ElGroucho posted:

another bad parent, i take it

You don't have kids, do you?

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:52

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

Power Khan posted:

AITA for telling my University teacher she was being arrogant and presumptuous for being offended students addressed her by her first name?

Power Khan posted:

She never expressly said to call her "Professor X", she just assumed we would.

If you really were Professor X you could have made them call you whatever you wanted :colbert:

Power Khan posted:

Before she could say anything, one of my classmates said: You're not even a loving professor haha, just a PHD student".

Another jumped in with something like: "If you want your rear end kissed by grad students, go back to Germany and get called Frau or Professor [Last Name]. But we don't do that here. We don't like arrogant bitches who think they they are better than other people".

A third classmate: "Even the loving Prime Minister answers to their first name in this country, it's how it is. If you don't like it, gently caress off back to Germany".

I'd like to imagine that this ends with the whole class laughing and pelting her with Foster's cans until she runs out of the room.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 19:55

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

quote:
A third classmate: "Even the loving Prime Minister answers to their first name in this country, it's how it is. If you don't like it, gently caress off back to Germany".

I'd like to imagine that this ends with the whole class laughing and pelting her with Foster's cans until she runs out of the room.

Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke*

"Here's a fukken beer, mate! Get it up ya!"

* He's the one in the suit.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:05

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

grad students being snippy with each other will never not be funny

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:15

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Leon Einstein posted:

You don't have kids, do you?

2 kids that don't eat potato chips in the goddamn morning, yes

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:18

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke*

"Here's a fukken beer, mate! Get it up ya!"

* He's the one in the suit.

It's good that you specified because I would honestly believe any of them is the aussie PM.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:26

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

"Bart vs Australia" was 100% accurate in every way.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:27

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

ElGroucho posted:

2 kids that don't eat potato chips in the goddamn morning, yes

I'm sure the tight grip on their behavior and caloric intake will result in well adjusted adults.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:29

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Leon Einstein posted:

I'm sure the tight grip on their behavior and caloric intake will result in well adjusted adults.

lmao, yeah, it does

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:30

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Australian culture is extremely egalitarian.

If you're going to act like a loving tool, everyone will cheerfully call you on it.

If you literally use the phrase "I am above you", people from far and wide will gather on rooftops around your workplace and home for the opportunity to throw their poo poo at you.

It's one of the few virtues of our culture.

This is the first time I have ever heard an Aussie do the "We're very egalitarian" speech without ending it with a frothing rant against "those drat Abbos."

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:36

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

DemoneeHo posted:

Gf brought up my skin colour. Should I leave ?

drat, what a way to ruin an otherwise great relationship. It's a shame there were no warning signs.

Is my girlfriend doing these for my own good ? Or she�s just thinking about herself ?

quote:

So some background information. My girlfriend focuses on appearance a lot. What do i mean by that ? She always say that the boyfriends she chooses aren�t handsome, indicating that she doesn�t focus on looks. Well, I�m not overtly handsome, but I myself don�t look too shabby either. Over the course of dating, I know that my girlfriend has like tonnes of clothes and focuses a lot on fashion stuff. Girl stuff eh ? But then I feel that she becomes a bit exaggerating and eventually crossing lots of lines.

For instance, she would use to tell me poo poo about how bad I wore my outfit today...etc. Like we�re out on hiking today and she would comment about how ugly my t shirt was. And she would go on and nag about it for half a day before I promised her I would wear something better. Before I knew her, I wouldn�t just wear collared shirts, since during summer, it gets pretty hot, plus my job doesn�t require any dress code. But since I was with this girl, I don�t think I recall wearing any t shirt whilst hanging out with her, or at least, not the type of t shirts that she didn�t choose for me.

She would always go on about and say: okay, it�s time to get you some new clothes. Look, they�re on sale. Gogogo. Like my family isn�t too shabby either, so money isn�t a concern, but the thing is: we don�t really buy a lot of stuff. But she always recommends me lots of stuff, from clothes to shoes to belts. I can�t deny....the things she recommend are quite good, but they�re actually quite pricey, and if this keeps going on, I end up buying a lot of things for myself. I mean it�s good since I�m paying for what I�m getting as well, but I honestly wouldn�t do so if I were single. It�s like she can�t stand me looking very ugly, or so she thinks. On the other hand, she has enough clothes in her wardrobe that she could wear something new on a daily basis. Her family is pretty well off, so yea....I would joke around and say: are you going to buy this for me ? And she would say: nope, but I�ve recommended you to come to this shop! Don�t I deserve some credit ?

She would also comment on my teeth. My teeth aren�t exactly aligned, but if there was a huge problem, my parents would have brought me to the dentist early on already. My gf got her teeth done back then while she was young, and so she kept recommending me to go do it, for my own good. She says a beautiful smile can lead you a long way. I understand that having perfectly aligned teeth is good, but it feels like she�s forcing me to do it without acknowledging whether it�s necessary or not. And she kept saying that: if you don�t do it, fine. It�s your teeth, not mine anyway. I don�t have to care about you. Reason I ask you to do it is because I love you. <<<<< this response can be applied to a lot of things. Body hair removal, since I have a lot of body hair. Body weight, since I�ve gotten fatter, but I became fat because I started going out and eating with her more often and less time for exercise.....she became slightly fat too yet I never said anything to her....I still call her pretty and poo poo, yet she would joke about my weight often.

Is she trying to portray me into who she wants to have in her dream, like I�m some sort of a doll ? She says she loves me and she is able to justify that all these recommendations for me are for the benefit of myself....how ?does she really love me ?

Paying everything for girlfriend and her family

quote:

Hello everyone. I have a few burning questions with regards to what i'm facing in the relationship. So some brief background. I met this girl on a dating app (CMB) and we hanged out as friends for about a year, before actually moving onto gf and bf. We've dated each other for 1.5 years now. I have a stable job and my family isn't too shabby at all. At least, we're living our lives without any issues.

My girlfriend earns less than me, so I don't mind paying for her. Throughout the dating period, i paid for almost everything, from food, movies, gifts...etc, anything you can probably think of. Sometimes, occasionally, she does pick the tab for me, and it's a nice gesture for sure. I mean, I think it's fair game that I should be contributing more in terms of money since I'm the more capable one. My girlfriend values me a lot and she's quite concerned with how her parents view me, so early on in the relationship, she has been trying to let me get close to them. She's the only daughter, so a family of three it is. Most of the time, we hung out like every once in a while, the four of us. We would have lunch/dinner, and then movie at the cinemas afterwards. In between when we're waiting, we may actually do a bit of walking around and window shopping, looking at latest products, trends...etc.

Here's the thing though. I don't have enough relationship experience so this is bothering me. I literally paid for almost 98% of stuff, while her parents treated me like say, 2 times ? And it's not like the things we eat are cheap either. I can afford it but it's really going to put a lot of stress on me. I paid for almost all dinner, all movie tickets (Imax, 3d...you name it) and gifts. We only go for imax for the blockbuster movies, but that's not the point. I'm happy to treat them as my family since I love my gf so much, so in the beginning of the first few treats, I honestly didn't mind. And i thought this was how it works, me treating my gf and her family like really precious. Here's a catch though. My gf's family is rich. Like her mum is a successful business woman, father...not so much but still okay, so money isn't a concern for her despite how much she earns. Previously I did open up to my gf and ask her like: why is it that everytime I'm the one treating ? i really treated them so well. I come from an Asian country so in terms of USD, the amount we're spending on each dinner would be approximately USD $200-300 at least, which is a lot. We actually argued about this before, since she kept saying: we're not eating with my family that often, probably once or twice a month, what's so hard asking you to pay that amount monthly ?' She said the reason why they think it's better for us young ones to treat the elders is that, her mum feels that as an elder, it would be very satisfying and happy to see the younger ones working now, and capable of treating them well now. I sort of understand this theory, but I'm already treating their daughter so much, and now I have to treat her parents as well, like almost every single time ! I honestly don't mind treating on special occasions like birthdays, mother's day...etc, but i'm literally treating very very often. My girlfriend never got the point and kept asking me: is this about money ? is there a concern about money ? It's the only reason why you wouldn't want to treat my parents.' I didn't really argue with her on this aspect, seeing how futile it was, and soon we just forgot it and let it go.

A second thing. My girlfriend loves jewelery and bags, clothes, fashionable stuff from famous brands like hermes, chanel, you name it. They would love to go window shopping and see what's the latest trends, what's in season...etc. The very weird thing is, they would just look, and when they find something really nice for my gf, the parents wouldnt buy anything. Instead, my gf would send me pics about a specific clothes, bag she likes, and asks for my opinion. I would say it looks great, to which she responds: Good ! mum thinks it looks good too, and so do i !!! So i'll leave this to you then !' What she meant by that is: I'll leave it to you to buy it for me then. You guys would know how much these famous brands cost...and these are extra stressors financially. Once again, I do buy these gifts for her, but it feels like it's getting out of hand when they're expecting me to buy these like even on normal days.

A third thing. Recently, a month ago it was mother's day. So it's well assumed that I would be paying for lunch. No biggie, she's the boss that day. But we needed flowers, so 1 week ago, she asked her mum what she wanted and we went looking for pretty roses. There's something else though. They wanted a vase too so they could put beautiful flowers inside the beautiful vase for photo taking. Okay. Knowing, them, a beautiful vase definitely means something that isn't cheap. And so my gf and I went around shops and managed to stumble upon this italian brand vase shop. We took a few photos, and then she went home and asked her mum about it. Anyway, the week before mother's day, I had to work during the weekend, and so they went out and enjoyed themselves. They went to that italian vase shop, and sat down quite a while to look at all sorts of vases. Finally they made a decision, and which I got a text telling me: Let's get this sorted out by tomorrow ! I understood immediately. They didn't buy the vase, and i will be buying it tomorrow.

So the next day, we both went to the shop after work. Now some further background info. My gf and her family wants to have 'face' a lot. What this means is, they value and care much about how people view them, in everything, even in all unnecessary small things that most people would normally consider. So with that in mind, I figured it maybe a better idea for my gf to pay for the vase since the 3 of them went here yesterday. The sales would recognize her, and it would be lovely on her overall since the sales would think: what a lovely daughter. Buying a gift for her mum..etc' Plus, her credit card has an added discount, so it would be wise to use hers. Mind you, they care about discounts and values as much as we less rich people do. So it seems sensible that she's paying for it. Now, everything seems well, but as soon as we left the shop, i already felt something is wrong with her, she's getting moody, but she wouldnt tell me what's wrong. So as soon as we both reached home, she called me at night (we have night talks daily), and she lashed out at me. She told her mum what happened, and even she is disappointed. She said her mum was expecting me to buy her this beautiful vase, and she would put this vase in the middle of their dining table, since she values me a lot. I told her I would be buying the roses (which is quite expensive either) and paying for lunch, so why can't she handle the vase ? My gf said: the vase and flowers are considered as one entity, so it feels that you should be buying both to make it feel more complete. And then, she said her mum also feels that its very embarrassing to them since they went to that vase shop and spent so much time there. I began asking: what's so embarrassing ? what the hell ? How did i embarrass them ? My girlfriend said: If they wanted to buy it, they would have bought it on the spot already. Instead, they wanted to let me have a go at it, thats why they felt it's very ugly on their image. Honestly, I don't even understand where this logic comes from. She began crying saying I let them down and bullying them. What...? but eventually, she calmed down. I told her my original intention of her paying so that she looks good in front of the sales. Eventually, she agreed with my decision. But this happened. She told me to pay her back the money for the vase (USD $1000), so that she can give this money to her mum and explained to her that: my boyfriend's intention is to buy you this vase, but he also wanted me to look good in front of the sales, so I bought the vase, but my boyfriend pays the sum back. Is this making sense to anyone here ???

Anyway, I paid her. I know I sound stupid, but I do love her. Moving on, I booked a nice restaurant for lunch during mother's day. Now since we got the vase, we have to pick flowers, which was also a hassle since they have such high expectations, but eventually we chose something. Here's something else stupid. Obviously they wanted to take photos with the flowers at the restaurant, so it's okay right. But my gf asked: then what's the point of buying the vase ? the point is to put the flowers in the vase, so we could take photos of it at the restaurant. I then ask her: are you saying we're carrying this heavy vase out there ? She said: I dont know, you think. I was like wtf ???? Why would anyone carrying a vase with flowers in it in public ??? Why cant you just leave the vase at home, and take pictures of it when you head home ? more convenient ????? And after lunch, we're going to be walking around, so how the hell do you think walking around with a heavy vase and flowers make perfect sense under this hot weather ?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I just wanted to see how you guys view this as a third person perspective. Apart from the money problem, what else do you smell from this relationship and from my gf and her family ? I have yet to tell you so much more bullshit, but I'm only choosing the money topic today. Let me know what you guys think. Like, even if it comes to my parents, if my friends or gf are eating with us, I can guarantee you they will snatch the bill and pay for it. Her parents never shown any initiation to pay any bills, which is really weird in this society, since most Asians take the initiative. The "face' and image thing is really an odd issue. I don't know if it's because her mum is a successful business woman such that their principles are so odd. They even mention that they don't dare to walk past that italian vase shop anymore in fear that the sales would recognize them. I don't even understand.....?

Girlfriend�s homework

quote:

Long story short, my girlfriend is currently studying her masters. And she would ask for my help, even though the subject she�s on is totally out of my field, but since my English is way better, she would like my help. So I gave her a helping hand, to which I realised, she somehow wants me to finish the whole assignment first, and then give her the draft for her to check.

The first time I did this, I was probably still blinded by love, so I helped her. But then on and on, I realised she�s using me. I helped her initially because she�s quite busy with her job and has other stuff to take care of (so do I) . I already feel something is wrong since she can�t do her homework alone ?! Also, since the drafts I write aren�t ready for submission obviously, she would say poo poo like: oh god. Are you deaf ? If you write like this you�ll fail. Oh god, I guess I�ll just aim for a C or D this semester....poo poo like that� and I�m like: wtf ? I�m helping you despite not being an expert in this field, and I�m getting criticism for ?

When I asked her what�s up with this, she mentions her ex who would help her do her homework whilst she was studying her bachelors. Like every time, whole essays done. Even without her ex, her chasers would also attempt to help her by doing a portion or helping research. I ask her: you�re using them as pawns. To which she replies: I didn�t use them ! They voluntarily helped me, and it�s division of labour, what�s not good about it ?

What is wrong with her ?

All those posts are from the last week.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:36

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

That lady had a good thing going before she spoiled it with her racist comments.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:39

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Leon Einstein posted:

I'm sure the tight grip on their behavior and caloric intake will result in well adjusted adults.

fyi 19-month olds actually can't make good nutritional choices on their own, please stop feeding your kids garbage

# ? Jun 27, 2019 20:55

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Xaris posted:

holy gently caress lmao. this is like the most standard cliche for those involved as the third party marriage-cheating that everyone should not be this god drat stupid. there have been fuckign dozens of movies, books, magazines that no one should fall for "oh this guy is married but he doesnt love her and leaving her soon, HE"LL BE ALL MINE and certainly won't do the exact same thign to me~~~~" that god drat.. how

i really want to know ages in this case, it sounds like 19F and 37M

Smdh, I can hear Lil� Mo singing about this in my head from...two decades ago? Hope springs eternal, I guess? Also the bar for heterosexual relationships is in hell.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 21:09

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

QuarkJets posted:

fyi 19-month olds actually can't make good nutritional choices on their own, please stop feeding your kids garbage

Are you sure? That's quite the hot take.

:rolleyes:

# ? Jun 27, 2019 21:34

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

snergle posted:

woke racists then find someone else

Fwiw I would guess the gf is a light skinned black woman. Light versus dark skin prejudice is A Thing among black people. Still ditch her, though.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 21:37

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

I really really had no idea how prevalent the boyfriend following Instagram models issue was until I started looking for these relationships threads

I have a few friends whose lustful activities show up on the Discover tab and a couple of other friends like to snicker about them, but like wow at how often it drives a wedge in relationships for a lot of young women

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:00

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

...which brings us to the blessed queen of guilty pleasures, "is it ok to jerk off to her friends and family?"

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:07

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

I'd caution to NOT do it while she's in the room

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:08

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

i vomit kittens posted:

AITA for not wanting to see a black therapist

Not the rear end in a top hat. Find a therapist that you are comfortable with and that you trust to work on the issues that brought you to your current therapist. In addition, also ask your new therapist for help on that whole disliking black women thing. This is a weird one, because I really want to call this person an rear end in a top hat, but therapy isn�t going to work with someone you don�t trust, respect, or feel safe around.

https://youtu.be/C6BYzLIqKB8

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:09

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Leon Einstein posted:

Are you sure? That's quite the hot take.

I for one just can't wait for a parenting slapfight to erupt in the r/elationships thread. Can't wait.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:09

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Xaris posted:

holy gently caress lmao. this is like the most standard cliche for those involved as the third party marriage-cheating that everyone should not be this god drat stupid. there have been fuckign dozens of movies, books, magazines that no one should fall for "oh this guy is married but he doesnt love her and leaving her soon, HE"LL BE ALL MINE and certainly won't do the exact same thign to me~~~~" that god drat.. how

i really want to know ages in this case, it sounds like 19F and 37M

It's such an appealing lie that people fall for all the time. You're the hero, his wife is the villain, and you're saving him from her. Trapped in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids, only you can break him free and make him happy!

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:15

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Pvt.Scott posted:

Not the rear end in a top hat. Find a therapist that you are comfortable with and that you trust to work on the issues that brought you to your current therapist. In addition, also ask your new therapist for help on that whole disliking black women thing. This is a weird one, because I really want to call this person an rear end in a top hat, but therapy isn�t going to work with someone you don�t trust, respect, or feel safe around.

https://youtu.be/C6BYzLIqKB8

Nah he�s an rear end in a top hat. Just because a situation wouldn�t work because of your rear end in a top hat ness doesn�t make you not an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:24

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

^ she

Pvt.Scott posted:

Not the rear end in a top hat. Find a therapist that you are comfortable with and that you trust to work on the issues that brought you to your current therapist. In addition, also ask your new therapist for help on that whole disliking black women thing. This is a weird one, because I really want to call this person an rear end in a top hat, but therapy isn�t going to work with someone you don�t trust, respect, or feel safe around.

https://youtu.be/C6BYzLIqKB8

yeah honestly that's probably right thinking about it. she even acknowledges it's stupid and racist because it won't make them lesser qualified but can't help it. if someone isn't comfortable with a therapist, then the therapist-patient relation is gunna be poo poo--even if it's for a stupid reason. But definitely needs to find one she is and also work on that issue pronto

but yeah still an rear end in a top hat, just one that needs to work on that to become less of an rear end in a top hat with a situation they're comfortable with

Xaris fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Jun 27, 2019

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:26

Whitlam: Aug 2, 2014; Some goons overreact. Go figure.

Sagebrush posted:

If I want to be called Professor Brush and my students call me Sage, it's not an insult if I correct them. Irl I don't care but some professors really do.

"Professor" is an odd word in higher education because it's both a formal title and a generic term. Most of my students call anyone who's teaching a class "professor," even though that formally only applies to tenure-track faculty (adjuncts and GTAs being "lecturers"), and if you want to be real nitpicky I should technically be addressed as Associate Professor Brush because Professor is a rank above mine. The specific titles used for different ranks also vary from country to country. If this grad student wants to be called professor, it's a bit of an eye-roll, but in context she's not actually claiming a title she doesn't have (as it would be if she insisted on being called Doctor prior to earning her Ph.D).

She's an rear end in a top hat for saying she's "above the rest of you" though.

"Professor" is an academic title in Australian higher education too, but not a formal one, so in an Australian context, yeah, she's claiming a title she doesn't have. If you weren't sure of someone's rank or were talking about them to a third party, you'd just refer to them as "my lecturer" or "my tutor" or whatever.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:40

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

AITA: for not dealing with my gay friend coming out well in the 90s?

quote:

Before you judge me, it’s a little more complicated than just me being a bad friend and person.

This was in the late 90’s when teenagers weren’t gay unless they were on TV dramas, and even then, I didn't know because didn’t have a tv. I was raised in a society that was sheltered and religious. I didn’t really know what a gay person was other than a sodomite or George Michael and what my family said, which was the typical ‘bad, weird, should be killed’ etc.

My best friend and I had been trading sexual experiments for some time, ie we would sort-each-other-out by crossing over hands and jacking each other off. It didn’t feel weird to associate with weird gay people, it just didn’t click with me, felt nice. Obviously this isn’t about sexual exploration (which is fine and means nothing anyway) but it’s relevant. He said he had some feelings for guys, but I wasn’t too bothered and I thought it was funny and interesting.

My problem was that my friend did the unthinkable and ‘came out’ in the 6th form, which no one had ever done in the history of the school. He told everyone and was the talk of the school for some time.

He told a female friend of mine, who spread the gossip onwards, that he actually had a boyfriend and he was hot, and cool and they couldn’t meet him because he was at another school.

I was instantly, shocked and horrified and jealous and just overwhelmed. It felt like he had betrayed me, and I didn’t understand anything that happened. I just wanted it to not have happened.

I didn’t speak to him again, I didn’t walk near him and I took a fair amount of our friends with me too. We did say a few things about it, that weren’t nice, but teenagers were all a bit like that in those days.

I do think that I thought at the time he was either making this boyfriend up, because he was a boarder and I’d not seen him go anywhere other than to hang out with me. Hindsight though, I think he might have been talking about me. Maybe, but clearly I was not cool. Or hot either.

I know I’m in the wrong for not being supportive, but am I fully to blame if I had no way of knowing what I did was wrong? I did support him when it was private. I just didn’t know how to deal with public and how he might ‘out’ me.

I know there’s a lot of younger kids here that don’t know what it was like, but I wasn’t that unusual.
ETA

Also please assume he was cheating on whatever it was we were anyway.

Imo even if you aren’t gay, you should still not do that with other people who are gay.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 22:45

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Piell posted:

AITA: for not dealing with my gay friend coming out well in the 90s?

This went in an the best possible direction and it's great actually

Like I'm dying laughing at this dude going through the one two punch of "wait my boyfriend is gay??? And cheating on me?????"

# ? Jun 27, 2019 23:02

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Tythas posted:

AITA for demanding my neighbors move their clothes line that blocks the entrance to my home?

They're going to burn your house down.

Okay, maybe not that, but they're going to make your life a loving living hell as long as you live next to them.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 23:10

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DemoneeHo posted:

My [18M] Mother [42F] trying to take over my graduation speech
tl;dr Have a valedictorian speech and my mom didnt like mine so she made her own version and threatens to make a scene if I don�t use hers.

The pro strat here is to just use your own speech and secretly *hope* she makes a scene. Then you just be cool, calm and collected during her meltdown and come out of it looking like a loving saint for your patience.

# ? Jun 27, 2019 23:10

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

AITA for ruining my friend's pickle eating experience?

quote:

I had a friend over a few weeks ago and got up to grab a beer. I noticed the jar of pickles in the fridge and decided I could go for some crunch, called out "Hey, you want a pickle?" "Sure."

I come back into the living room with the beer and two pickles, hand him one.

"Can I have a plate, knife and fork?"

"What for?"

"It's how I like to eat my pickles."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"... Seriously?"

"Yes."

"It's a pickle. It's one pickle."

"That's how I like 'em."

"I mean... Sorry, but no"

"Wow."

"Wow? Hold up, you're offended?"

"sigh I don't know man, it kind of goes against the rules of being a good host."

"Right. Just one thing. When you asked for a plate, knife, and fork, were you planning on washing those?"

"Wow. Really?"

"Were you?"

"Of course not."

"Right. So let me get this straight, what's implied here is you want me, expect me, to wash three items of dishes later so that you can eat one pickle. To be a good host."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You look offended. Am I being the rear end in a top hat here?"

So, was I?

# ? Jun 27, 2019 23:18

ScentOfAnOtaku: Aug 25, 2006; I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for ruining my friend's pickle eating experience?

Yes

# ? Jun 27, 2019 23:22

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# ? May 9, 2024 15:24

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I appreciate that the gay friend pulled the "I have an extremely hot boyfriend but you've never met him, he goes to another school!" move and the OP fuckin' believed it, and still does.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for ruining my friend's pickle eating experience?

Yes. Cripes, just let the dude be weird and suck up the minute of extra dishwashing work, this isn't rocket surgery

# ? Jun 27, 2019 23:24

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