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saw this going around, not sure when they deleted the tweet but the article is from Saturday, charming age gap coverage in the weekend Times https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/13/style/on-the-second-try-both-found-a-partner-in-business-and-for-life.html quote:Because marriage is an ever-evolving experience, we constantly shift, change and, in some cases, start over. In It’s No Secret, couples share thoughts about commitment and tell us what they have learned along the way, revealing their secret to making it work.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:35 |
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# ? Jun 13, 2024 01:33 |
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Right. Just about anyone can fire a gun, and no matter what your status in life is we all share a profound weakness to bullets.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:36 |
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8 month-pregnant myself (F32) found texts of my husband (M34) to his ex asking her to raise baby togetherquote:Dear all, I am 8 months pregnant. Few days ago I did something I for the first time in my life: my husband fell asleep with unlocked phone and I checked it. What I found shook the ground: I found a Whatsapp conversation between him and his ex dating back to Feb. Clarification: back then I was 2 months pregnant and it was 1 month before our wedding. He said many things, such as “I really really tried but I don’t love her the way I did love you”, “gently caress the wedding day, I want to marry you”, “I have never stopped thinking about you”. A bit of their story: she is 40, and their struggled to have children. She managed to get pregnant, then had a misscarriage and they broke afterwards. The wors thing he said “Babe, we couldn’t have children. Now we can. Let her carry it, and we will cherish fruits of it together”. My world literally fell apart, as I feel it was built on a big lie. I am giving birth in 1 month. We have just bought a house and moved in. I am not ok at all, but I haven’t talked to him yet. I am afraid of how far he can go. I shared this with couple of friends, but for now I haven’t got the advice - everyone just asks “how are you” and “what are you going to do”. Could you please share your thoughts or advise or anything that comes to your head, please. It might help me. You've got to before he s you
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:38 |
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Bonaventure posted:it's called an equalizer because you can kill people with it no matter how wealthy or socially powerful they are Disclaimer: Am anti-gun nut and am probably wrong about details.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:42 |
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Ah yes, the classic have her carry the baby to term then collect it for yourself, a foolproof plan.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:55 |
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https://mobile.twitter.com/shaenongarrity/status/1148830436119814144sandoz posted:jesus christ i mean the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, I've seen some videos A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Jul 17, 2019 |
# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:58 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:(Utah) My dad keeps getting scammed, doesn't believe anyone, has ruined he and my moms lives, can we stop him from sending more money? I wonder if this guy has an update, he or his mom or a family member needs to get pops sent in for a psych eval for alz/dementia. He's probably not capable of managing his own finances given the degree to which he's being scammed here. Their bank will be able to designate him as a protected person, and if he receives SSA or similar benefits they can assign a representative payee. This will mean he will have his name on the bank accounts for legal requirements but the bank will not let him actually access funds nor will they honor a request for him to have a debit card. The family will need to make sure they do not give him bank or card numbers. They can draw cash out and let him spend that. Yes I get that it sounds like managing money for a teenager but honestly that's what it is. It's hard on a family to realize this is it until he dies but they need to start taking him out of financial/business affairs for his own goddamn good. First it's scams, next he'll end up getting convinced to meet strangers. The bank will know how to approach all of it because (as a bank investigator) this is not at all uncommon outside of the amount he's blown on scams.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:23 |
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(Utah) Being demoted because "I am not liked" My boss directly told me yesterday that I am fulfilling all of the duties of my role but that I am unliked by higher-ups. I was then given two options: take a demotion with a $20K pay cut or be written-up and put on a performance review. She openly told me that she is unsure what the performance review will even cover, because she doesn't have clear feedback of anything I have done wrong. She went on to bully me and tell me that if I took the demotion I would be "safe" from losing my job. If I took the performance review, it would just provide temporary protection until the end of the review in 3 months. This was all in-person conversation in a one on one situation. I have texts from her asking me if I want the demotion or to be put on the review. What can I do in this situation? Also within the same company, my friend is potentially facing a retaliation situation. He was asked to officially to take an international role and said no twice. Within a month of saying no the second time, he was demoted without cause. He has documentation of how he was excelling in his role and had no negative feedback. Would this be potentially be considered retaliation by the company?
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:26 |
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Thanks for that scam story, I'm now worried about my dad, who's very smart but recently fell for the "send us Steam gift cards so we can fix your computer" scam.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:30 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:(Utah) Being demoted because "I am not liked" well at least you know you have three months to find a new job, start firing off resumes and quit immediately without notice as soon as you land a new one
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:31 |
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"Making higher ups like you" is basically the most important requirement of any job. "I am good at my job but people don't like me" is such a common complaint by people who get passed over for promotions. A lot of people think that only hard skills matter, but it's not enough to be good and right if everyone hates your guts.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:34 |
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zakharov posted:Thanks for that scam story, I'm now worried about my dad, who's very smart but recently fell for the "send us Steam gift cards so we can fix your computer" scam. Not everyone who falls for it is developing dementia, but you absolutely need to start talking with him and your family about keeping an eye on him, talking regularly, checking the account statements, etc.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:46 |
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therobit posted:"Making higher ups like you" is basically the most important requirement of any job. "I am good at my job but people don't like me" is such a common complaint by people who get passed over for promotions. A lot of people think that only hard skills matter, but it's not enough to be good and right if everyone hates your guts. There are three major factors that influence how you're perceived at your job: your skill level, your ability to meet deadlines, and your general likability. You need at least two of the three. If you're talented, you make all your deadlines, and everyone likes you, great, you're set for life. If you do really good work and make all your deadlines, people will usually let you be personally abrasive because you're competent and driven so you get things done. If you do really good work and everyone likes you, you can get away with being flaky because people will see you as the friendly absent-minded prodigy type. If everyone likes you and you're reliable, you can be fairly crappy at your job but no one will want to fire you because they like your personality and you at least aren't holding anyone back.\\ If you don't have at least two of the three, you are not going far.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:47 |
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Blockade posted:From https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com Is this the plot to one of them pervert anime shows?
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:48 |
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Sagebrush posted:There are three major factors that influence how you're perceived at your job: your skill level, your ability to meet deadlines, and your general likability. You need at least two of the three. Don't forget that like likability can be a code word to mean that you are the right gender, skin color, sexual orientation, Etc!
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:50 |
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VanSandman posted:Temple Grandin got a twinge in her neck and doesn't know why.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:51 |
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therobit posted:"Making higher ups like you" is basically the most important requirement of any job. "I am good at my job but people don't like me" is such a common complaint by people who get passed over for promotions. A lot of people think that only hard skills matter, but it's not enough to be good and right if everyone hates your guts.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:52 |
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therobit posted:Are step-parents just incapable of not being lovely to their step-children? Growing up everyone I knew who had step-parents hated theirs for good reason. It seems like the step parents often resent not being the center of their spouse's attention at all times, and feel the step kids are interlopers. Eh, all depends on the person - if they're selfish before marrying someone with kids, they'll likely be that way regardless what's said or done. My mom & stepdad have been married almost 30 years now & he's always treated me like his own kid, moreso than my own biological addict waste of space father ever has.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:52 |
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I just got big muscles and everyone everywhere automatically started respecting me more and just assumed I was competent since being extremely fit while dressing professionally makes you seem "driven" and "ambitious" and a "go getter" It also helps that I am all those things but no one thought so of me when I was the fat guy
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:54 |
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Sagebrush posted:AITA for castigating a girl for 'leading me on'? Ghengis Blues
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:56 |
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I'm mid transition and people who think I'm a dude think I'm better at my job than people who think I'm a chick
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:56 |
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InediblePenguin posted:Don't forget that like likability can be a code word to mean that you are the right gender, skin color, sexual orientation, Etc! The OP was in Utah so it wouldn't be surprising if they don't like him because he is or isn't Mormon. But then again he is a redditor so he is probably just an rear end in a top hat.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:57 |
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Barudak posted:The mentally unstable shouldnt be given unsupervised access to children, no
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:59 |
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FAUXTON posted:Not everyone who falls for it is developing dementia, but you absolutely need to start talking with him and your family about keeping an eye on him, talking regularly, checking the account statements, etc. You'd think they would have realized this after they lost the first $100,000
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:02 |
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Cacator posted:You'd think they would have realized this after they lost the first $100,000 "dad's losing his marbles" is a drat hard pill to swallow people spend thousands on quack medicine because they don't want to be told they're depressed and would rather be told they have a variant of lyme disease that miraculously causes all of their symptoms and also can't be cured without a $15k "let's shoot UV lasers at your blood" treatment twice a month. The part where we talk about the stigma of mental illness and the lack of a functional health care system in the US can be skipped though.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:07 |
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My grandma's sister nearly sent thousands of dollars to some scammer because they told her I was arrested for something halfway across the country. It was some convoluted story that was purposely confusing. They got her so good that when I called her to tell her I was not in trouble, that I had not spoken to any local Sheriffs or Defense Attorneys in Bumfuck, Nowhere, she still kept asking for 5 minutes if I was fine.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:08 |
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Traxis posted:The OP was in Utah so it wouldn't be surprising if they don't like him because he is or isn't Mormon. But then again he is a redditor so he is probably just an rear end in a top hat. Probably, but his job is pretty terrible at pushing him out. You're supposed to be a lot more subtle about it.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:09 |
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I count my blessings when my parents call me at work to say they got an email from Google that Samsung, Inc. has made changes to their phone, and ask if they got hacked or they should change their passwords
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:10 |
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some pretty darn good ones this week imo https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1151534561152708608 https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1151534564612956160 https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1151534568677228546 e: most are obvious, but that preacher clearly just didn't use enough holy water LGD fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Jul 17, 2019 |
# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:12 |
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AITA for having ADHD?quote:I am in currently in the middle of a divorce, generally amicable, and we are doing what we can to help each other get seperated. At the same time, I am going to school and working full time, so I'm just a little busy (sarcasm, I'm insanely busy). A little while ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which explained a lot given my life and personality. Part of that is that it takes a while to remember to do things, and frequent reminders, especially ones with a time table attached. So back to the divorce, my ex has been giving me a few things here and there to do. The first was mail back the divorce papers. It took a while, but I got it done. The next was take a dvd out of an old computer so they could sell it. I didn't think it to be a big priority, and plus it was finals week, so I didn't get it done. Then, I get home from work the day of one of my hardest finals, and my ex basically starts a fight with me over the fact that I didn't do that one little thing. I tell them it is finals week and I haven't had time, plus I didn't think it was the biggest priority, but that I could get it done later that night once the weight of the final has been lifted. They didn't find this acceptable and said it was about more than this one little thing, but about our whole relationship and how I never get anything done supposedly (even though I'm the one who paid all our bills, did our taxes, paid our rent, etc). I tell them I can't talk about this right before the final and go in the other room to ignore them. I leave to take the final, come back, and the fight continues. Apparently they feel like they're my mom who needs to take care of me, and that they are not going to rely on me for anything going forward. Which is confusing to me, because I am more than happy to help them, and since I finished my final last night, I have tons of time to help them. So they're basically guilting me for my disability and telling me I'm unreliable and that they will not be counting on me any more. Am I crazy, am I the rear end in a top hat here? What more could I have done to have helped them better? AITA? Mom fights that ADHD is controllable quote:This happened earlier today, and I’m still upset about it. Something that you should know is that I have diagnosed ADHD, and cannot help zoning out. My mom and I were in the car, and we were mostly being quiet with the occasional sentence or two between us on random thoughts. Something that has happened a lot is that I will zone out, and she will start talking. When I come back to reality, I will ask her to repeat what she said because I didn’t hear her. She will then get mad at me for zoning out, even though I was already lost in though when she started talking. The same thing happened today and she yelled at me for not paying attention, and I shouted that we shouldn’t talk at all because I can’t help zoning out. She then stopped talking to me the entire car ride back. When we were in the driveway, I asked her if she wasn’t ever going to talk to me again, and she said I told her not to. I told her that she was getting upset over something that I can not control, and she said that if I “can’t control it”, than I should start taking my ADHD medication everyday. I have meds for my ADHD, but they stop me from eating, so I don’t like to take them on weekends, and only use them for school days. And, even when I’m on them, I still zone out frequently, it’s just for a shorter period of time. I do not feel bad at all for saying what I did. I can’t help zoning out, and I don’t understand why my mom minds repeating things every now and then in the car (the car is where it’s easiest for me to get distracted and zone out). So, Reddit... am I the rear end in a top hat for making my mom mad? AITA for making life hellish for a cadet with severe ADHD? quote:As a cadet squad leader at a military high school in VA, my responsibility was to manage 5 other cadets, making sure that all of them mustered on time, kept clean, and maintained a small section of the barracks, just a hallway running the length of the school. The squad consisted of myself (10th grade), some nonessential elements for this post, the former squad leader (11th grade, Carl), and the subject of my post (9th grade, Jayden, who had moderately severe ADHD). Tythas fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Jul 17, 2019 |
# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:12 |
Arsenic Lupin posted:Nah. That was true of swords and pistols, which require a great deal more skill and training. The thing about revolvers is that they don't require nearly the skill to use as hand-loaded single-shot pistols; they're also less expensive because modern manufacturing techniques. Six shots in rapid succession is a powerful argument in most situations pre-automatics. The first gun control laws were established in part because the royals realized how threatening they were to their power. William of Orange was assassinated in 1584 by a concealed pistol (the wheellock had just been invented about 80 years ago and could be concealed ready to fire, unlike old matchlocks) and James Stewart was shot from a window in 1570 while riding through town. Turns out guns made it really easy for any random person to pop the king in the face.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:15 |
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FAUXTON posted:YOU loving DUMBASS THIS IS WHAT POWER OF ATTORNEY IS FOR THIS IS WHAT PROTECTED PERSON DESGNATIONS ARE FOR WHAT THE gently caress WHAT THE gently caress WHAT THE FUC You can't just take a person over with power of attorney. A POA is picked by the person, and if they get pissed and take it away that's it. It's not some thing where you can just control someone's actions. I work with a dementia patient and she's very far gone and still gets to dictate if she wants to send money to someone. Her POA can't just tell her no and her doctors and the judge absolutely refuse to take any of her deciding rights away. She can't even recognize relatives at this point, but she can still make decisions. Telling her that checks aren't used anymore and locking those in a safe, and telling her that she never gets any mail from the "charity" scams while throwing the junk mail away, is a way better way to protect her than telling her no and trying to enforce it. Like dude she can't comprehend a stop sign and has 0 reflexes and broke her ankle just getting off the couch, but she still has a driver's license. She was convinced to sell the car instead. Taking rights away from dementia patients is waaay more difficult than it sounds. A POA is only there to make decisions when the person can't/doesn't want to. But if the patient wants to make their own decisions, no matter how lovely, they're still an adult with rights. That story with the guy a while back that "gave his friend POA" is so loving ridiculous because as an adult with all your faculties a POA means nothing and can be revoked without having to be in writing. It's literally "go the duck away I revoke your POA" and it's done. Scathach fucked around with this message at 18:20 on Jul 17, 2019 |
# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:16 |
AITA for throwing out all of the food in the communal fridge?quote:Ok I know I’m probably TA, but honestly I feel like I’m justified.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:19 |
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Scathach posted:You can't just take a person over with power of attorney. A POA is picked by the person, and if they get pissed and take it away that's it. It's not some thing where you can just control someone's actions. that's what protected person designations are for
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:31 |
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chitoryu12 posted:AITA for throwing out all of the food in the communal fridge? NTA. In this case the ends justify the means.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:31 |
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chitoryu12 posted:AITA for throwing out all of the food in the communal fridge? not the rear end in a top hat. when the system doesn't work you must take direct action
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:31 |
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chitoryu12 posted:AITA for throwing out all of the food in the communal fridge? Whoever was stealing it now knows this isn't some loving game. Whoever knows who was stealing it and didn't stop them now knows the same. It's a shame Innocents had to suffer but it's clear existing power structures were either unwilling or unable to solve the problem.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:35 |
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FAUXTON posted:that's what protected person designations are for Those are so, so hard to get. At least here. I'm in WA and trying to protect a dementia patient is difficult as gently caress. Especially if they refuse it and get pissed and kick you out of the house, which legally they can still do. The scams that dad is falling for are apparently from another county but so rarely anyone wants to talk about the homegrown charity scams we have here. Even after being put on the do not call/mail list my patient still gets a couple calls and pieces of scam mail a day. It's loving terrible.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:36 |
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DrBouvenstein posted:
CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Jul 17, 2019 |
# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:37 |
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# ? Jun 13, 2024 01:33 |
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It was an rear end in a top hat move. There's also times in life when being the rear end in a top hat is the correct move.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 18:37 |