/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

What?! No. Boyfriend is a moron and absolutely doesn�t get a say in this at all. gently caress the boyfriend.

He's a moron, yes, it's the tone of her narrative as it goes on and on that makes you wonder what he's been putting up with already and what he's in for in dealing with a pregnant woman.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:38

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# ? May 29, 2024 00:48

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Getting pregnant is a massive change in lifestyle that will affect him mentally, emotionally and financially just as much as it does her. she's allowed to be a surrogate for her sister and he is certainly within his rights to say no, dealing with a pregnant girlfriend isn't in my life plan right now, see ya

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:46

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Like, he super doesn't get to just veto it for sure but yea you kinda have to answer 'will you do this extremely physically and emotionally taxing thing in having our baby and giving it up to us' with 'can I have a couple days to talk that over?' Even if you already know you're gonna say yea, you gotta at least give your partner and poo poo some time to adjust.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:50

Dr. Video Games 0135: May 20, 2003; That's gonna be a zoinks from me, Scoob

Dancer posted:

Did my (32m) wife (26f) go over board with wedding photos or am I overreacting?

Is this insane culture that's sprung up around weddings a byproduct of reality TV show or like

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:51

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Op though pregnancy isn't a team sport. Lol

But besides, it looks like that it isn't even legal if she didn't have a child before and her partner isn't on board.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:52

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

My boyfriend told me he paid for sex with a trans woman. Now what?
This is a throwaway account.

This will be a long post (sorry in advance, I want to give as much info as I can to get the best advice).

I�m a cisfemale who identifies as straight and he is a cismale who recently told me he may be pansexual.

I think the part that is bothering me is that:

1)he paid for it. And I would still have a problem with him paying for it if it was a ciswoman. But I also understand why people pay for sex and he explained this was a difficult point in his life.

2) it happened another time (that he didn�t pay for). The part that�s bothering me about that is wondering if it�s something he likes and will I measure up/be enough. He has assured me that he was exploring his sexuality which I completely understand. He was also extremely reassuring that he was with me for a reason and not with anyone else. Which is comforting, but it�s still hard not to have those thoughts.

I feel like I should ask questions but at the same time I don�t think knowing the specifics will make me feel any better.

Has anyone been in a situation like this where a) you found out your partner paid for sex or b) they were with someone trans and you had feelings of being inadequate?

TL/DR: My bf was with someone trans (once he paid for it and once he didn�t) and I am struggling with feeling inadequate and the thought of him paying for sex.

I hope I�m not being offensive to the trans community in anyway. I tried to use the correct verbiage but please correct me if I�m wrong.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:53

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

May I suggest murder

My [31M] husband prevents me [31F] from getting sleep
[new]
Basically what the title says. I�ve been sleep deprived for months. Not because we have any babies crying through the night but simply because my husband won�t let me sleep.
Let me start by saying I love my husband. He�s smart and talented so that�s why it�s so frustrating that we aren�t able to figure this out. He�s always been a night owl, from middle school through college and beyond. He would take naps pretty much anywhere he could lay his head down throughout the day and that has worked for him. This has never been an issue at work either. He makes a good salary and has the option to work from home for most of the week (sometimes they fly him out somewhere or he has to go into the office once a week) but he pretty much can wake up at 10 am and walk 15 steps to his office chair. This means he can go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and still get a decent amount of sleep. I can�t do that. Depending on my schedule I�m up at either 4 or 5 in the morning and I need to be awake and alert. My job requires me to be energetic. I really like my job and what I do. However; I feel like I�m dying. I typically work 6 days a week and this week alone I only had 22 hours of sleep in total. I don�t have the energy for any of my hobbies or to go to the gym. I�m moody and cranky and start falling asleep at the wheel. This has been going on for nearly a year.

I CAN�T.

It�s not like he�s just watching movies so he can go into the other room. For a while, it was the game League of Legends. His gaming computer is in our bedroom (we have a small apartment) so playing at night on his headset was a thing for a while. Then he got a 3D printer and would be up all night making models and running back and forth between the small office space and our bedroom to see if it works. Sometimes he keeps me up because he�s in the mood for sex at 1 am. Other times he would invite friends over for board games and I would say we�d need to wrap it up by 11. Nope, it�s almost 1 and everyone is still here making a bunch of noise. The point is, there is no sleep in my life. I suggested I make the office my bedroom and soundproof the wall. This way he can have all his games and friends and printers and whatever and I won�t bother me. He felt like bad because I was being demoted to a second rate person in our relationship. He would get the bigger bed, bigger room, with the nice brand new mattress we�d recently purchased (so comfy btw) and I�d probably have to get a used futon. I�m at my wit's end. He started taking online language classes once a week and he has them set up for 9:30-10: 30 pm on Friday�s. I still need to work on Saturday. He also had a bunch of work to finish that evening (a deadline). I suggested he cancel the class and do the work instead. It�s more important. No, he�s got it. Finished the class and work by 11:59 pm. Finally! Let�s go to sleep. I�m in bed and he�s getting all touchy. �Let me rub your back.�, �Let me hold you.� , �take your top off so I can touch your skin.� I glance at the clock it�s almost 1 AM!!! I put on jeans and got my shoes and I spent the night trying to sleep in the car at a grocery store parking lot. He did not text or call or anything. I did come back home around 4 am to get ready for work and he was sleeping on the couch, so I guess he must�ve felt bad. I don�t think he understands how much this affects me. I�m exhausted.

We�ve had so many conversations. Occasionally when he�s up late doing a project and only gets 5 or 6 hours of sleep he complains how tired he is. Doesn�t he understand I�m like this almost all the time? On another note, the way he and his family act sometimes in regards to other people, it�s like they don�t have social or emotional intelligence. It makes me wonder if perhaps he�s on the spectrum and should get tested? Please, Reddit. Help me get some sleep.

EDIT: He did suggest we try waking up at the same time. It just didn't really work because he'd keep sleeping through all of the alarms. He also suggested that I try taking naps throughout the day to see if that helps me (I tried, but then it became difficult for me to fall asleep at the time I should have. Rinse and repeat). So it's not like he wasn't trying to give solutions!
TL;DR: My husband has a lot of hobbies and is a night owl but I need to be up at 4/5 am for work most days. How can I compromise?

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:56

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Sagebrush posted:

Getting pregnant is a massive change in lifestyle that will affect him mentally, emotionally and financially just as much as it does her. she's allowed to be a surrogate for her sister and he is certainly within his rights to say no, dealing with a pregnant girlfriend isn't in my life plan right now, see ya

It's insane that anyone could fail to see this. He doesn't get to say no, but he does get to say goodbye. OP really shouldn't expect to be able to keep her relationship and do this without talking about it first.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 17:57

UZR IS BULLSHIT: Jan 25, 2004

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

What?! No. Boyfriend is a moron and absolutely doesn�t get a say in this at all. gently caress the boyfriend.

You aren't emotionally mature enough to criticize other people's relationships lmao

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:04

ParserGirl: Jun 3, 2005

Potential surrogate should talk with a lawyer and an obstetrician before making a decision. Asking your sister to risk her own fertility, among other terrible complications, at such a young age sounds exploitative.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:06

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

ParserGirl posted:

Potential surrogate should talk with a lawyer and an obstetrician before making a decision. Asking your sister to risk her own fertility, among other terrible complications, at such a young age sounds exploitative.

look I know surrogacy is maybe one of the most complex and highly regulated things you can get involved in for parenthood, even more than adoption at times, but my sister's got an empty womb and I'm seeing solutions!

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:12

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

What?! No. Boyfriend is a moron and absolutely doesn�t get a say in this at all. gently caress the boyfriend.

Hm, username doesn't check out

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:20

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

quote:

How do I (28m) politely broach toenail length with girlfriend (30f)?
u/itsausername1234
Hi - just looking for specific advice on how to raise this subject with my girlfriend. We've been dating for 3 years and moved in together six months ago.

Her toenails are long. Not like, terrifyingly so, but long enough that when we sleep together it's not infrequent that she scratches me. I'd be lying though if I said that their appearance was not a motivation as well. They're not well-kept, with some of the nails on her shorter toes longer than her other toes, they're also misshapen, and somewhat yellow. I think they might be contributing to her feet smelling as well?

The "problem" is that I've never made any sort of comment to the effect of "you should change X about your body". Neither has she made any asks of me like that. We're both generally clean so there's never really been a "you really should be doing X more". From searching, it looks like I could frame it as a health thing, but that seems dishonest when that's not what I'm actually feeling.

She's definitely aware that her feet don't look great (made a few comments when putting on sandals etc), but I think she views them as kind of a lost cause. I think that's a totally understandable sentiment, but I also I think she's underestimating the degree to which just clipping her nails regularly would help.

It kind of goes back to conversations we've had about appearances generally. She hates that people judge on appearances, especially when she needs to dress fancy for her work events etc. I've worked in a few industries where everyday appearances are critical, and have decided that I'm willing to meet those expectations to get along. There's also a bit of a class element, because my family wasn't well off and so it was drilled into me how much "looking the part" matters. Her family was much better off and so she cut in the opposite direction, deciding that she hated those things growing up and in college (she doesn't shave her legs etc, which I think is cool).

Anyway, really would appreciate input. We have a great relationship and are pretty open about things, so ultimately I just need to talk with her about it. I just don't want to make her sad by bringing it up the wrong way.

Thanks!

---

**TL;DR;** : My girlfriend's toenails are long and I want to ask her to keep them shorter but don't know the best way to do that.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:24

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

My [F33] relationship is ending over laundry

quote:

I'm engaged to Mark [M34] and we are to get married in 6 months.

We live together for a few years in a house Mark owns. We have divided chores and are generally happy with how we manage our household. We're practically married, our wedding is meant to be a big party and a lot of fun, but otherwise a formality.

I am in charge of laundry, by choice. We have certain chores only the other does. Mark alone cleans the pool. I alone do the laundry. We both cook, clean, do gardening work (we grow a lot of our vegetables and fruits, yay!). You get the point, certain things only one of us does, the rest we do together.

Recently, I had a work emergency, an issue with a project, and I had to ask Mark to handle laundry for me. This is not an issue, we cross pollinate between our chores when the situation asks for it.

I had some delicates that NEED to be washed by hand. Mark was informed of this, but I guess I had them in the regular pile of laundry, and he stuffed them all in the washer. Some of the mentioned delicates were ruined. The washer is too rough for them.

I suppose I was frustrated with work and made a hill out of this situation. An argument held its stance at the top of this hill, we had some back and forth and it all ended with me saying maybe he should do his own laundry from now on. In the argument I told him he clearly doesn't care for my belongings, I asked him to be careful with my delicates, and that if he was so unhappy about having to do laundry he shouldn't have done it at all, rather than make a point like this.

His point was that he had no idea since they were mixed with the regular laundry, and I haven't told him he needs to sort the laundry first. I doubled down and told him his laundry is his own issue to handle from now on.

In hindsight, I was in the wrong, I suppose work got to me more than I realized in the moment. I never intended for things to this far.

As I mentioned, we live in Mark's house. He owns it, no mortgage, all paid. He has generous grandparents, and a very generous career, he affords things a lot easier than the rest of us. Most furniture and appliances in the house are his. When I moved in he purchased a new fridge, a big one, so we have more room, but he also paid for it. You get the idea.

Mark has told me that since we are each responsible with our own laundry, why not we each be responsible with our own share of everything? He only finds it fair. Why should I have to touch his dirty boxers? That is nor fair. He agrees with me.

But, since I am doing only my own laundry from now on, I should use my own washing machine and dryer. And since we will make our own dinner from now on, I should use my own oven. If I need to microwave something, I should use my own microwave. I should use my own TV from now on. I should use my own Netflix from now on. And so on.

So a few days went by, we haven't really reached a conclusion, and he told me he's been thinking, how can we be equal in the relationship when I still use his house as my own? So he asked me to move out, to find my own place so I can get my own appliances and furniture, so that when I use the oven, I know it is my oven, and not somebody else's oven.

Nothing I tried ended this fight. I apologized, I tried to reason with him, we are getting nowhere.

I am genuinely sorry, both for my attitude over some ruined delicates, but also for allowing this situation to get this far.

I have talked with friends and tried to seek council and ideas on how to solve the situation, but I am not finding anything helpful, I think because everyone knows everyone involved and they can't be objective.

Mark is not budging, and wants me moved out by the end of September, which will most likely find me living with my parents, again.

I had to let my parents know of this eventuality, and they promptly informed Mark's parents about the situation, which was not something I wanted, but I also haven't told them to keep it to themselves.

Mark's parents are not happy, they had a fight with Mark over the situation, and I think they only made things worse. If Mark raises his defenses up, there is not enough ammunition in the world to bring them down.

This situation is physically making me sick. I am throwing up, I get nauseous now, it feels like the world is collapsing around me. I have headaches now, and I haven't had a headache in years. I feel tired, physically.

I love Mark, and I know he loves me as well.

I need help, and suggestions, on how to talk with him and find a solution.

Friends suggested I offer to buy in half of the house and furniture / appliances, so we look like equals, but this is definitely not about money or ownership, this is about principle for him.

Someone else suggested he is cheating, and this is how he gets to break up with me. This is nonsense. If Mark is cheating he is a wizard. We not only share location and know where the other is at any time (and I have checked out of paranoia, there is nothing unusual in his location history), but for the last 3 or 4 months there is no unaccounted missed time between the two of us, since we've spent almost all the time we had together.

So, this is what I have.

Please help.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:29

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

At least now she knows he can't handle the smallest of arguments without going nuclear.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:35

ravenkult: Feb 3, 2011

I know he loves me, she says.

lmao

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:53

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

'I know they love me' is a word less than 'for sale: baby shoes, never worn' so suck it Hemingway

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:55

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Miserable Maid posted:

Nah, it's fine. Especially with the 9.99 unlimited thing

Think like a buffet, quantity is King. Don't expect your fancy City Boy food

Nah, Olive Garden is lower quality than most fast food places and it isn't particularly cheap either. You're way better off going to another crappy pasta chain like Noodles & Company or Fazoli's, since it's cheaper and way less terrible... or preferably, a local casual family restaurant that's probably around the same price for much higher quality pasta and you're supporting your local economy, not massive garbage mega-corporations like Darden that refuse to salt their pasta water and treat their employees like literal slaves.

Seriously, Darden is well-known for being terribly abusive to their workforce, even by lovely chain food service standards. Do not support them.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Sep 14, 2019

# ? Sep 14, 2019 18:59

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Sagebrush posted:

Getting pregnant is a massive change in lifestyle that will affect him mentally, emotionally and financially just as much as it does her. she's allowed to be a surrogate for her sister and he is certainly within his rights to say no, dealing with a pregnant girlfriend isn't in my life plan right now, see ya

I agree 100% that he's justified in walking out if he can't handle this, but her boyfriend also has to realize that their life together is about so much more than him, especially when it comes to her family. It's not too much to ask to have a little bit of empathy for his girlfriend's sister and her husband, not stay stuck solely on how this decision affects him, as if he lives in an underground cave far away from civilization.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Sep 14, 2019

# ? Sep 14, 2019 19:08

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Sagebrush posted:

Getting pregnant is a massive change in lifestyle that will affect him mentally, emotionally and financially just as much as it does her. she's allowed to be a surrogate for her sister and he is certainly within his rights to say no, dealing with a pregnant girlfriend isn't in my life plan right now, see ya

He's well within his rights for this to be a massive and perfectly valid dealbreaker but rofl at the idea that the man dating her is just as affected as the woman who is actually pregnant.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 19:16

bus hustler: Mar 14, 2019; Ha Ha Ha... YES!

Dienes posted:

He's well within his rights for this to be a massive and perfectly valid dealbreaker but rofl at the idea that the man dating her is just as affected as the woman who is actually pregnant.

not really sure how it will affect them financially at all either, the OP says her sister and BIL will be super involved and take care of pretty much everything. I think even live there??

It will absolutely impact his girlfriend's ability to live a 20 year old life with him and thats fine, I would probably leave too, but yeah no.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 19:29

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Op mentioned that she thought she could quit her job and just concentrate on the pregnancy.

They probably didn't even look at the rules for surrogacy in their country, or check with a lawyer.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 19:46

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Power Khan posted:

Op mentioned that she thought she could quit her job and just concentrate on the pregnancy.

They probably didn't even look at the rules for surrogacy in their country, or check with a lawyer.

I skimmed the wall of text but everyone is making out like this is some informal arrangement between the sisters? How can they go through the process of implanting the fertilized egg in a clinic with tons if legal forms needing to be signed?

# ? Sep 14, 2019 19:54

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Girlfriend [19f] mad that I [21m] feel uncomfortable that she is wearing lingerie clubbing without me (need help)

quote:

A few months ago my girlfriend of 9 months (now) showed me that she got some sexy lingerie, a one piece body suit. I thought sweet she is getting all sexy for me, lucky me, then she told me she wanted to wear it out clubbing with her single friends (who wear similar things out). I told her that I would find it uncomfortable if she did, and she didn't wear it... until tonight. Last week she told me she was going to wear it and again, I told her how I felt, and she seemed to understand, and sounded like she would respect how I felt and not wear it. But then tonight she told be that she was going to wear it anyway, and again I told her, and at this point she was already pretty drunk having pre drinks in a hotel room in the city with her single friend who she goes clubbing with once or twice a month, for the last 6, who my girlfriend told me last week wanted my girlfriend to wear it. She said that she didn't want to get into a fight ( we had a big one a few days ago about her not ever bringing me out with this particular friend, I just want to go once in a while that's all, she said that she wants me to go, I said she never invites me so it doesn't seem that way, apparently it's to protect her single friends feelings because her friend had a bad breakup a year or so ago).

Well it turned into to a fight, she got upset, I got upset, I said a lot, but the gist of it was that I was hurt and concerned about her decision despite me telling her how I felt about it. She and her friend blocked me on their clubbing Instagram account page so I can't see what they posts, which I noticed before we talked about what she was wearing mind you.

Now she is out clubbing, and I'm sitting here in bed at 3:30am can't sleep, with work at 6am (I'm not sleeping tonight it seems). I'm worrying if I've hosed thing up. Am I being unreasonable with not feeling comfortable that she is wearing such sexy clothes, with me not around, when she never wears them for me, what do you guys/gals think I should do next, apologise, I was out of line, or stand my ground, even if it ends up with us breaking up, which I feel is very likely at this point.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:07

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

That�s merely a new trend in order to not lose money on cancellations, not a mark of quality.

The stars they�re referring to aren�t Michelin, many other rating systems function on a five star range as hotels often are.

I remember you actually. You�re the restaurant foodie guy.

However I disagree on your first point. Of course it�s to save money on cancellations, but it is usually a mark of quality and certainly price as well for 2 reasons:

1) it only makes sense if you are popular enough that people are willing to prepay and lose the money if they don�t attend.

2) it�s almost exclusively the domain of high end Michelin/ prix fixe establishments.

Calling it a new trend is I guess accurate (started popping up maybe a decade ago?) but at least here it�s basically how every high end restaurant works.

Maybe mid tier restaurants are asking for prepay now but If they are I�ve never experienced it.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:10

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

WIBTA if I went camping with new female friends if my girlfriend can't go?

quote:

My girlfriend, Alison, and I have been together for 3 years. We've had some problems, we broke up about 4 months ago and have been back together for about a month. There are some trust issues but I like to think we've done a lot to work through things.

Several months ago (before we broke up) I went on a trip with my friend Jake who is part of a 70 person friend group that plans group trips frequently. Alison and I were invited but she was unable to go due to work (she has sundays but not saturdays off). About 25 people were on this particular trip to some cabins in the forest. Jake had a couple of female friends that wanted to try shrooms, so I sold them some and kinda acted as a guide for them on their mushroom journey. I had a great time on the trip and Alison was bummed she couldn't go but was happy to hear I had a great time.

Well this weekend Jake invited me on a camping trip with him and the same three chicks from the last trip. Well Alison is not cool with it now. She of course is unable to go again and says she feels uncomfortable about me being in an environment of 2 guys and 3 girls, especially since she has not met the girls (she knows Jake). I've told her I have no interest in them and it's not like we'll be sharing a tent.

I think that's kind of controlling and apparently I'm not "allowed" to make female friends? I know it would bother her but that's her own insecurity.

WIBTA if I went even though I know it would bother her?

EDIT** The trust issues admittedly were because at one point I was not honest with her about talking to my ex and at another point I accidently emotionally cheated on her with a new friend who I just thought I was having a good platonic connection with someone because we weren't having sex.

EDIT2*** At one point I met a woman and we started hanging out quite regularly. Every couple of days. She had recently gotten out of a bad relationship and we connected over that as my relationship with my ex was very painful. She started texting me pretty much every day and my gf did not like it. She claims that's emotional cheating because I was talking to this woman about things I didn't feel comfortable talking to my gf about, apparently I'm not allowed to talk to a friend every day, and this woman did not like my gf after they met once and so we decided it would be best if we hung out without my gf tagging along. In no way was I trying to get with her, I still struggle to see how that's cheating

OP gets declared an rear end in a top hat and mods lock the thread.

Some hours later, his girfriend responds on r/relationship_advice and links to the AITA thread he created:

My (24f) boyfriend (29M) posted this yesterday. How do I end things calmly?

quote:

I am the girlfriend. I cannot believe he actually posted this. He was talking to his ex for 6 months behind my back. His female "friend" texted him all day every day for over a month and when I told him that made me uncomfortable he told me to talk to HER about it so I did, politely and she accused me of being rude and bitchy to her because I said I felt like she was getting too close way too fast and using him as her main source of emotional support and comfort. He never set boundaries with her and she ghosted. He also doesn't mention here that he continued to be very close friends with a FWB he had before we met, they were literally having sex up till the moment we decided we were exclusive which is fine but in 3 years I never met her, he went to her house to hang with her and her children for hours at a time, they snapchatted all the time and he told me if we broke up they'd start having sex again. I have never asked that he remove them from his life completely only that there be boundaries that keep things platonic. And now this camping situation, I feel that him going camping with only one other guy and 3 girls that he just met and tripped shrooms with is a little odd and intimate and makes me uncomfortable. I feel like he's ditching me to go have a grand old time with three random girls I don't know who were fawning over him and calling him a "shaman" when he gave them mushrooms. He claims he's not interested in them but why be so adamant then to go on a trip with three girls you don't know and claim to not care about?

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:12

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Pinecone Sample posted:

Girlfriend [19f] mad that I [21m] feel uncomfortable that she is wearing lingerie clubbing without me (need help)

Idiot manbabies who think their partner's body is exclusively for them need to wiped off this planet. Sometimes a lady's allowed to feel confident and sexy wearing lingerie on her own without her embarrassing boyfriend or his input whatsoever, especially when they're 19 out dancing with friends!

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Sep 14, 2019

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:13

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Taima posted:

He also used the word gourmet which is one of those trap words that people use to determine if you’re lower status (which is a whole different topic altogether)

I would like to hear more about "gourmet" as a class signifier. Is it just that if you use it, it indicates that it's special instead of your usual?

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:14

Gone Fashing: Aug 4, 2004; KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Idiot manbabies who think their partner's body is exclusively for them need to wiped off this planet. Sometimes a lady's allowed to feel confident and sexy wearing lingerie her own without her embarrassing boyfriend or his input whatsoever, especially when they're 19 out dancing with friends!

sure she can do what she wants to do but they're 19 and 21, they should just break up

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:29

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Dienes posted:

He's well within his rights for this to be a massive and perfectly valid dealbreaker but rofl at the idea that the man dating her is just as affected as the woman who is actually pregnant.

Yeah, unless of course, she miscarries

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:32

ParserGirl: Jun 3, 2005

pentyne posted:

I skimmed the wall of text but everyone is making out like this is some informal arrangement between the sisters? How can they go through the process of implanting the fertilized egg in a clinic with tons if legal forms needing to be signed?

Most clinics would disqualify her from surrogacy because she's never given birth before.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:35

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

ParserGirl posted:

Most clinics would disqualify her from surrogacy because she's never given birth before.

OP is either a shitpost, or a complete idiot that never even tried to look up the legal requirements of the whole ordeal.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:51

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

lol if you posted:

competitive chess

edit: not chess boxing, though

Haha nope competitive chess will also destroy your body

https://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/27593253/why-grandmasters-magnus-carlsen-fabiano-caruana-lose-weight-playing-chess

# ? Sep 14, 2019 20:54

Clitch: Feb 26, 2002; I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

charity rereg posted:

AITA for not wanting my in-laws to charge us rent

Boomers: The New Batch decide they're going to charge their own child open market rent for their inherited asset, because they have no concept of the economic realities facing said child. Not even suggesting they pay toward owning the house in which they served as live-in caretaker for their dying grandmother. Just straight up, 'We've been looking around on Zillow and we think this is fair.'

2 to 1 that "A good chance to teach you some responsibility." came up in the conversation.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:02

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

don't say i never get you guys anything nice

AITA For refusing to attend an engagement party at an Olive Garden when I had reservations at a gourmet restaurant?

The title of the post summarizes the issue nicely.

I have been seeing my current girlfriend for roughly four months now, and our relationship is satisfactory for the most part. She is a bit on the younger side at nineteen while I am nearing thirty, so our social circles are vastly different. Currently she is in college getting her basics done, while I am already established in my career.

Her friends are of university age, and as such cannot afford to participate in activities that I enjoy, such as skeet shooting and fine dining. I offer to pay for them as much as possible, but if I'm being honest they aren't my cup of tea. I mostly tolerate their presence, for the time being.

The woman I'm seeing recently asked me to arrange dinner plans for her and four guests. I obliged and began to seek reservations. I made plans for us to attend a popular five star uptown gourmet restaurant (on the east coast) with a famous interior proven�al fantasia of poppy paintings and arcane farm that rivals the now-defunct La Mangeoire. I suspect some of you may know of this restaurant, in which case you realize how difficult it is to get a table.

I particularly enjoy this restaurant as they cater to my allergies, and operate on a first name basis with my employer who also frequents the establishment regularly.

Though I was successful, I was greeted with news from my girlfriend that her friends wanted a larger party instead. There was a miscommunication apparently, which I am thoroughly frustrated by. There is no excuse for asking someone for a favor and then reneging on the request. Incompetence is no excuse, but that is not the main issue at hand.

I am then told that the now larger party will be meeting at an Olive Garden. You read that right. Apparently the dinner is at an engagement party for one of the girls, who is inviting her midwestern family up to celebrate. I am then told that I am expected to attend the party with my girlfriend.

This, I cannot abide for obvious reasons. I then inform her that I will not be attending the party, and that neither will she. We will both be attending the restaurant we previously decided on.

She then told me that if I didn't attend, that I would be insulting her and her friends. My contention is that she and her friends insulted me by changing venues and expecting me to eat at a fast food restaurant when I have already reserved seats at a gourmet restaurant. I also inform her that I am under no obligation to her, but that she is free to pay for her own meals as she sees fit.

Needless to say, things escalated. I informed my coworker and friend about the situation, and he told me that I should've been more understanding, though he understand my view of course. So just for fun, what is this subs opinion?

I was like,"should I know what arcane farm means?" So I googled it, which only pulled up MMO mats farming advice. Then I googled La Mangeoire and it's supposed to be arcane farm equipment. That's not nearly as fun to think about as, like, having ant farms hanging from the walls but instead of ants, there are pixies living in them.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:15

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

Beachcomber posted:

I would like to hear more about "gourmet" as a class signifier. Is it just that if you use it, it indicates that it's special instead of your usual?

It's more like if you're super wealthy and a foodie you probably wouldn't be using the word gourmet at all when describing a restaurant I think.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:26

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Gone Fashing posted:

sure she can do what she wants to do but they're 19 and 21, they should just break up

It's less about their relationship and more about men being really lovely about their partner's body. A girl's allowed to wear sexy lace panties or a revealing bikini 100% for herself without her dumbass boyfriend factoring into it.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:29

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

A woman is allowed to wear whatever she wants. Her partner is also free to decide they aren't comfortable with that, and say something. Ultimately the woman decides what she will wear, and the partner decides to either live with the discomfort or leave the relationship. Fighting about it is dumb, but it's 100% fair for each person to define the bounds of what they find acceptable from their partners.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:35

ParserGirl: Jun 3, 2005

My girlfriend (21F) is polyamourous. I'm (22F) new to this relationship. She and her boyfriend (28M) have been together for about 4 years while I've only been with her for 5 months. He wants a relationship too but I'm very gay.

quote:

My girlfriend (21F) is polyamourous. I'm (22F) new to this relationship. She and her boyfriend (28M) have been together for about 4 years while I've only been with her for 4 months. Anyway, so I've been really uncomfortable with this guy since he's kinda maybe been expecting a sort of sexual relationship from me even after telling him I'm like fully and truly a lesbian. It's been making me feel uncomfortable and more so that if I offend this guy my girlfriend will be disappointed or something. I also found texts on her phone of them talking about me and how he shouldn't push it and giving him advise about getting together with me. She's even gone as far as including him in our sexting (pictures and videos of her and him) I really love this girl but this whole situation is making me uncomfortable. IDK what to do. I've told her I'm uncomfortable with his sexual interest and she says she's "talked to him." But the fact that they've been together longer makes it feel like it's them and/against me.
Edit: she's really sweet and loving towards me tbh. That's what's making me all the more confused about what to do. She kind of openly cares? If I may say that.
TL;DR : My girlfriend's boyfriend is coming on to me but I feel very uncomfortable with this because I'm gay and my girlfriend doesn't seem to mind this. Might even be encouraging it.

quote:

I thought this... Because like this week he let it slip that they were looking for someone and when she "found me" he stopped looking... I confronted her about it and she kind of just brushed it off? That's what's even got me more suspicious about all this.

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:36

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# ? May 29, 2024 00:48

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

ParserGirl posted:

My girlfriend (21F) is polyamourous. I'm (22F) new to this relationship. She and her boyfriend (28M) have been together for about 4 years while I've only been with her for 5 months. He wants a relationship too but I'm very gay.

quote:
My girlfriend (21F) is polyamourous. I'm (22F) new to this relationship. She and her boyfriend (28M) have been together for about 4 years

HEY NOW

# ? Sep 14, 2019 21:39

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