/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

The Bramble posted:

Anyway, content.

My friend gets upset when i say the "n" word, even jokingly or as part of a song lyric. Even though he didn't care before, because his new girlfriend is black...What should i do?

'Personally,' 'innocent,' 'freak out,' and 'highly doubt' being in all caps caught my eye, and that's pretty much all you have to see.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:00

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# ? May 14, 2024 18:39

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

The Bramble posted:

Unbelievably, I have found an even better one posted within an hour of the n-word guy. Holy poo poo.

How can I ensure that my wife is not defeated?

His wife got herself into this. Posing unclothed will do her zero harm. Stand aside and let her lose the bet and pose, or win, or weasel out, whatever.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:07

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Uncle Enzo posted:

His wife got herself into this. Posing unclothed will do her zero harm. Stand aside and let her lose the bet and pose, or win, or weasel out, whatever.

I think my favorite part is she's already buckled down and accepted what she has to do, and he's trying to charge in and save the day anyway.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:18

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Help! My Fianc� Bombarded My Aunt�s Yelp Page With Negative Reviews.

quote:

Past trolling: My aunt is a doctor. I recently learned that before we were together, my fianc� incessantly messaged her office and wrote negative reviews, all because it didn�t support a therapy that very few doctors support�although apparently specialists to whom my aunt has referred people for other issues do support the therapy in question, which seems to be why my fianc� thought he could get things changed. My fianc� is often obsessive, but usually in a way that I like. He sees now that what he did was wrong, and bailed on Thanksgiving so as to avoid seeing my aunt and another relative who works at her office. They knew full well who he was, but never mentioned it, probably because of HIPAA. Should I try to apologize for him?

quote:

Apologies on behalf of other people aren�t effective or meaningful, regardless of how close you may be to the nonapologizer. I realize that marriage often means you�re able to act as your spouse�s representative in the world, but when it comes to something like harassment, the transitive property doesn�t apply here. It doesn�t sound like your fianc� was a patient of your aunt�s, so I�m not sure HIPAA applies here�if he�s just some guy who bombarded her reception team with angry messages and filled up her Yelp page with complaints, she�s probably free to discuss him if she likes. Put yourself in your aunt�s position for a moment. If someone who had previously harassed you and your employees over a period of weeks or months without ever demonstrating remorse suddenly became engaged to one of your relatives and avoided you at family events, would you feel meaningfully heartened by an apology from your relative instead of the man who had hurt you? What do you think an apology from you could heal between your aunt and your partner?

A few other important questions: What else is your fianc� �often obsessive� about? Has he ever harassed other professionals during the course of your relationship? When did he come to realize his past behavior was wrong, and how has he sought to offer apologies or make restitution to other people he has harassed? What sort of help has he sought out to develop better coping strategies for his obsessions and grievances? Is he prepared to apologize to your aunt and her staff? If she�s not interested in hearing his apology, will he be able to control himself and respect her limits and not start harassing her to forgive him? These are questions you should be encouraging him to reflect upon. He should also be prepared for your aunt not to like him even if she does accept his apology. She may simply never be interested in getting closer with him�I think that would be a perfectly reasonable choice on her part.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:50

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

The Bramble posted:

Unbelievably, I have found an even better one posted within an hour of the n-word guy. Holy poo poo.

How can I ensure that my wife is not defeated?

It's like something out of a gambling anime

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:53

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Lil Peeler posted:

Goddamn this dude skeezes me out

I think Prada Sluts av is the origin story:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:01

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Motronic posted:

I think Prada Sluts av is the origin story:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:05

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Motronic posted:

I think Prada Sluts av is the origin story:

God drat you know youre in a photo, how hard is it to not have your glasses be at a 30 degree angle to the ground? Like, they're crooked enough that it obscures an entire eye which somehow manages to make him even more off-putting.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:05

Fried Watermelon: Dec 29, 2008

Did asmongold clean his lair for the other husbands?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:06

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Fried Watermelon posted:

Did asmongold clean his lair for the other husbands?

Lol I was just gonna say that dude definitely has strong Opinions about world of warcraft.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:18

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

The Bramble posted:

Unbelievably, I have found an even better one posted within an hour of the n-word guy. Holy poo poo.

How can I ensure that my wife is not defeated?

Hey dumdum she's trying to give herself a reason to break out of her taboos. Step back.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:36

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

Biplane posted:

Lol I was just gonna say that dude definitely has strong Opinions about world of warcraft.

They already have a full group ready to go at any time!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:51

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Four paladins and a priest.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 18:56

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Biplane posted:

Lol I was just gonna say that dude definitely has strong Opinions about world of warcraft.

I feel like those Opinions are that he hates it and can tell you why in excruciating detail, as he plays eight hours a day and knows everything about the game.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 19:11

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

This thread needs a shakeup. We need carry on then to crash in and accuse us of being Nazis for eating food.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 19:22

seance snacks: Mar 30, 2007

Grumio posted:

Another Poly success story

Well this furthers my own confirmation bias that poly is something un-layable nerds do to hedge their bets.

I know dunking on poly is overdone so I'll balance that by saying I do know a healthy poly married couple. I think it works so well for them because they're both openly bisexual and their relationship lets them explore that.

Or that's my assumption anyway. I never took them up on their low-key invite to find out.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 19:25

Rent-A-Cop: Oct 15, 2004; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

This thread is hugely important to my self esteem.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 19:26

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Noslo posted:

Well this furthers my own confirmation bias that poly is something un-layable nerds do to hedge their bets.

I know dunking on poly is overdone so I'll balance that by saying I do know a healthy poly married couple. I think it works so well for them because they're both openly bisexual and their relationship lets them explore that.

Or that's my assumption anyway. I never took them up on their low-key invite to find out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4

# ? Dec 10, 2019 19:39

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

It's cuz he looks like the Chatterer

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:13

Rondette: Nov 4, 2009; Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.; Grimey Drawer

Straight White Shark posted:

Not even being 100% ironic, having an older sibling die young is fertile ground for inferiority complexes.

What about having an older sibling NEARLY die but make a miraculous recovery which your nan took to mean that she was saved by God and a better person than you could ever aspire to be?

Coz that gave me a pretty big loving inferiority complex I am still dealing with, 30 years later. :comeback:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:18

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Noslo posted:

I know dunking on poly is overdone so I'll balance that by saying I do know a healthy poly married couple. I think it works so well for them because they're both openly bisexual and their relationship lets them explore that.

It helps if both parties have similar potential for sexual opportunities and not

"Let's open up this marriage"
*immediately starts loving that new friend they made and never stopped talking about

because that is just someone who wanted to gently caress another person immediately and not be caught "cheating" in any formal way.

Starting a relationship as poly is still better because there's no pressure to agree to a new dynamic or lose the current relationship.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:30

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Noslo posted:

Well this furthers my own confirmation bias that poly is something un-layable nerds do to hedge their bets.

I know dunking on poly is overdone so I'll balance that by saying I do know a healthy poly married couple. I think it works so well for them because they're both openly bisexual and their relationship lets them explore that.

Or that's my assumption anyway. I never took them up on their low-key invite to find out.

The only good poly relationships are the ones you have absolutely no idea about. I'm sure they're out there. And I'm personally happy not knowing any more about it.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:35

Rosalind: Apr 30, 2013; When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.

No less than 3 couples I'm friends with have decided to tell me about their BDSM, poly, and/or sex party experiences in the past 2 years. Every single time I had made it clear beforehand when it became obvious that they were going to tell me about something related to their sex lives that I did not want to hear it. Every time they still told me anyway.

I no longer hangout with any of those couples.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:50

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Rondette posted:

What about having an older sibling NEARLY die but make a miraculous recovery which your nan took to mean that she was saved by God and a better person than you could ever aspire to be?

Coz that gave me a pretty big loving inferiority complex I am still dealing with, 30 years later.

You'd think that if God really liked her he wouldn't have almost killed her before changing his mind.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:53

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Straight White Shark posted:

You'd think that if God really liked her he wouldn't have almost killed her before changing his mind.

God works in mysterious ways...

# ? Dec 10, 2019 20:56

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Fatkraken posted:

There's a study!

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/617991

Looks like it's a forensics study regarding if dead bodies would sink or float, but the upshot is that buoyancy varies from person to person, about 1 in 15 men would float in freshwater even with only residual lung volume while over half would float in denser seawater

Whoa dude, thanks for looking this up! That's neat. Not only do I float in freshwater, I float with my entire head out of the water (which you need to be more buoyant to accomplish) and without my lungs being totally full. As I suspected, I am in fact a prodigy at floating, cursed to wander the land defeating challengers who believe (incorrectly) that they can outfloat me

Admiral Ray posted:

Her concerns are trash. But like actual garbage, they must be recognized and dealt with, otherwise the garbage dump that is her young mind will quickly overflow with heavy metals and decaying rodents, resulting in anxiety and misplaced terror. The appropriate course of action is to be honest with her: Her fears are real, and they are stupid.

Absolutely floored by this excellent and shockingly coherent advice from Admiral Ray

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I shared a video of my boss� husband�s very public, anti-immigrant behavior on social media?

I will start off by admitting I can�t stand my boss� husband. It isn�t so much his political ideology, but his behavior that makes me want to vomit.

He is strongly anti-immigrant, but especially and forcefully anti-undocumented residents. I first saw what a jack rear end he is at the first company event where he targeted service workers with questions about their legal status (he only asked brown people, one of whom was South Asian). At another company event, he made a point to take pictures of some of the service workers with his phone because �they sounded illegal� and he wanted pictures in case he wanted to get ICE involved.

I don�t know why my boss brings him to company functions. He clearly makes everyone uncomfortable and I have found myself getting out of these functions with excuses because I don�t want to be around him. But I have a video on my phone of him approaching random Spanish-speaking people on the streets taking pictures of them and asking them what their legal statuses are.

WIBTA if I posted the video on social media (anonymously)? He is my boss� husband, I don�t want problems for my boss though...

Post it, motherfucker. Now

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for kissing the homies goodnight?

This originated about two or three months ago, or whenever that �kissing your homies goodnight� meme was popular. My friends and I would always joke about it, and we thought it was funny, so whenever we would hang out, we started kissing each other goodbye. Just a short peck, nothing serious or anything. It became sort of a tradition at the end of every hang out, and we kept doing it even after the meme died because we still thought it was funny. Yesterday, I brought my girlfriend to hang out with us since she had never met these friends before. We all went to dinner, talked, and went back to one of my friend�s houses to watch TV. When it was time to leave, I kissed the homies, as is custom, and said goodbye. My girlfriend was not pleased. I had told her that we did it before, but she had assumed I wasn�t serious and was just referencing the meme. It escalated slightly, but I really don�t think it�s that bad. I equate it to kissing a family member, but she thinks it�s really weird. None of us are actually gay, and there is no attraction involved whatsoever. It might be a matter of personal opinion, but AITA?

edit: yes it was on the lips, and none of us are gay/bi

This is how memes ruin your brain. At the same time, I adore the idea of kissing the homies goodnight and will probably start doing that ASAP (although maybe start with the cheek?)

Power Khan posted:

AITA for screaming really loud when drivers come close to hitting me on my bike?

As someone who's nearly been killed countless times by irresponsible drivers, scream your heart out girl

# ? Dec 10, 2019 21:33

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Motronic posted:

I think Prada Sluts av is the origin story:

Excuse me but i thought we weren't supposed to post shock images in this thread

# ? Dec 10, 2019 21:42

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Rosalind posted:

No less than 3 couples I'm friends with have decided to tell me about their BDSM, poly, and/or sex party experiences in the past 2 years. Every single time I had made it clear beforehand when it became obvious that they were going to tell me about something related to their sex lives that I did not want to hear it. Every time they still told me anyway.

I no longer hangout with any of those couples.

It's an identity thing to them, they think that their sex choices should be akin to someone coming out as LGBTQ. From their perspective, they think that their choice to start having sex with multiple people or to wear fursuits or whatever was actually never a choice at all, rather it's an intrinsic part of their identity that they suppressed for however many years, so telling their friends about it is just like a gay person coming out of the closet. The ancient Romans wore fursuits all the time you know, it was considered completely normal to dress up as a cartoon dog with a big rubber dick where its nose should be.

I'm not sure that I agree with that since so many of these poly couples are definitely just 1 person trying to cheat on another. I don't know about furries anymore though, to put up with so much humiliation from both outside and from within that community but to stick with it anyway, those are some powerful identity-forming brain worms.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 21:53

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My mum ran away to Turkey to be with a con artist and has lost all her money. Am I evil for cutting her out?

quote:

As the title says my mum ran away to be with what is clearly a con artist in Turkey and I'm feeling really guilty for cutting her off...

Here's the long story:

My mum (62F) has been single since my (29F) parents split when I was 6 and has only ever had brief holiday romances with Cypriots and Turks since then. A few of these already ended badly - found out one was married, gave one 10k she never saw again. Safe to say her trust in men is shot, but also she's quite the gullible type... You'll see.

About 4.5 years ago, my mum met this guy - let's call him C - whilst she was on holiday breaking up with the latest "he's already married" Turkish fling. C was super charming, wine-d and dined her and I got a call from my mum saying she'd had the best night of her life meeting him.

They were on the phone every day, said they loved each other within a week and within a month she was planning the next trip out to visit him. This is where the 1st incident happened. Mum called me one night well upset because she'd found his ID. Apparently he'd told her he was 42 but actually he was 35.... I told her to call it quits, but she rang me after she got back from hols to tell me that they'd talked it through. Apparently he was born in a really small village in Turkey and didn't go to a hospital until he was 7 years old. That was then the date that they put on his birth certificate. :/

I told her this was crazy, but she bought it hook line and sinker. Next followed a few more months of lovey-dovey and within 3 months of meeting this man she was quitting her job and saying she would move to Turkey.

I was alarmed so started doing some sleuthing... Found his FB and saw 90% of his friends were Caucasian + Overweight + Divorced / Widowed. So I started messaging the women and overnight got 10 or so responses:

"He asked me for 40k"

"He's engaged to my friend"

"He's asked me to marry him"

"He gave me a nervous breakdown after he ran away with 10k"

etc. etc.

I showed all these messages to my mum, thinking it would give her a bit of a reality check, spent a weekend cheering her up from the 'breakup' , but as soon as I left got a message from her saying "sorry I lied. I pretended to go to the toilet 15 mins after you arrived, spoke to him and he explained everything. These women are just jealous."

Suffice it to say I was not cool. We basically stopped talking then and only had one last interaction just before she left, where she said I should "watch out" as he "knows powerful people" if I try and slander him again and that if all goes wrong and she loses all her money and never talks to me again, it's all "worth it".

Fast forward to today, we've not spoken and I've only had a few messages from her saying she misses me, but "regrets nothing" and have recently heard from family that despite selling her house, she's almost run out of money (given it all to him) and will likely be back soon.

Is it bad of me to just not care anymore and to stay far away from the situation?! Is it awful to leave the rest of my family to deal with it?

Is our relationship in any way salvagable?

My friends think I'm doing the right thing, but family are guilt-tripping me for checking out.

Honestly the last few years with no contact has done wonders for my mental health and from all accounts I've heard, the situation is still absolutely batshit and my input wouldn't change anything.

I'm worried she'll be back soon, broke and trying to sponge off my elderly grandparents. I feel awful for them having to deal with it, but also can't financially support her even if I wanted to.

Sidenote:

Before all this went down she was lovely and we were super close, but apparently she's now completely changed - won't talk about anyone else and just lives in her bubble, refusing to acknowledge things aren't right even though 95% of her cash is gone.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 22:33

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I (F25) ruined a romantic weekend and my boyfriend (M23) said he needs space. Hasn�t texted me in two days, is my relationship done?

quote:

Will use fake names.

Me = Jane

Boyfriend = Mike

Ex-Boyfriend = Adam

Mike and I booked a very nice hotel for last weekend (December 6-8) in the city and we were planning to enjoy it together as we�ve been dating for 6 month.

[NSFW]

We were having sex on Saturday and it just got really intense. He started dirty talking and I did too, and during sex he said �Jane I loving love you�. I don�t know why, but I said my ex�s name instead like �Oh Adam I love you too and I love when you gently caress me�

I know I made a big mistake because their names are really different, I don�t know what I was thinking...I probably wasn�t at the time. It�s worse because Mike and I actually ran into Adam a week or two ago, but Mike is much more good looking and better in bed so I know it�s not an insecurity of his.

When I said it, Mike literally got off me, started putting his clothes on and told me he needed space. He started packing his things even though we had two more nights booked at this super expensive hotel. I got a little upset and tried to hug him and bring him back but he just pushed me back onto the bed and to �leave me alone�.

Since then, I texted him a long apology but he hasn�t replied to me in two days. He didn�t even read my message (we have read receipts). What should I do? He�s been so good to me and I can�t bear to lose him now 😭

# ? Dec 10, 2019 22:34

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

I (F25) ruined a romantic weekend and my boyfriend (M23) said he needs space. Hasn�t texted me in two days, is my relationship done?

Lol!!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 22:38

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

DONT MASTURBATE WITH SOAP!!!!!

quote:

Okay so this is how it went down. I got super horny so I wanted to jerk off but there was no lube so, I used soap instead, when I finished and I peed, I had this sharp pain in my urethra( tip of my dong) and it KILLED so bad, so i went back to my room and waited one hour to pee once again and it didnt hurt as much and here I am writing this? GUYS WHAT SHALL I DO

# ? Dec 10, 2019 22:41

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Yeah, that's over.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 22:43

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

DONT MASTURBATE WITH SOAP!!!!!

You learn this when you are 12.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 22:44

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

MarcusSA posted:

You learn this when you are 12.

Or you learn to love it :fap:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 23:06

TheDeadlyShoe: Feb 14, 2014

DemoneeHo posted:

My mum ran away to Turkey to be with a con artist and has lost all her money. Am I evil for cutting her out?

Ew.

I mean, it's lovely that mom is living in fantasy land, but completely bailing on her? Mom didn't steal from OP, mom didn't gently caress over OP's relationships, mom didn't drag this con artist into OPs life and gently caress it up.

I'd hate to see OP as a parent. Kid made a bad decision? gently caress you, junior!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 23:11

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Not supporting a parent while they get fleeced by a scammer after you went out of your way to warn and protect them, and so not wanting to bail them out when they inevitably hit rock bottom is not the same as a parent rejecting a child, if anything because of the expectations of the roles is different.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 23:17

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

Ew.

I mean, it's lovely that mom is living in fantasy land, but completely bailing on her? Mom didn't steal from OP, mom didn't gently caress over OP's relationships, mom didn't drag this con artist into OPs life and gently caress it up.

I'd hate to see OP as a parent. Kid made a bad decision? gently caress you, junior!

Did you miss the part where she threatened her daughter? (she said I should "watch out" as he "knows powerful people")

# ? Dec 10, 2019 23:17

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

She said if she never talked to her daughter again, it would be 'worth it', and also OP said the NC has been doing wonders for her mental health.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 23:35

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# ? May 14, 2024 18:39

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

Ew.

I mean, it's lovely that mom is living in fantasy land, but completely bailing on her? Mom didn't steal from OP, mom didn't gently caress over OP's relationships, mom didn't drag this con artist into OPs life and gently caress it up.

I'd hate to see OP as a parent. Kid made a bad decision? gently caress you, junior!

You seem new here

# ? Dec 11, 2019 00:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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