/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

this thread has taken a real heel turn

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:15

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# ? May 20, 2024 16:06

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

How can I [m/23] get my GF [f/22] to agree to my fetish and not find it weird?

quote:

So to make a long story short we both love each other but she has admitted she is contemplating breaking up with me due to my fetish.

I like to wear a diaper (depends) and go to the bathroom on myself and have her change me. Then she bathes me and then we have sex after that.

She thinks it's a Mom fantasy but that could not be further from the truth. Her taking care of me like that really turns me on and it makes my experience with sex much more pleasurable.

I want her to understand it's not a weird type thing and it only enhances the love I already feel for her.

TLDR; how can I show my GF that my fetish is about my love for her?

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:24

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Licarn posted:

How can I [m/23] get my GF [f/22] to agree to my fetish and not find it weird?

On second thought, let's hop outta this and land back on foot puns.

Okay op, this is really simple. When she's wiping your rear end clean after you poo poo your diaper, just stare into her eyes and tell her "i love you." It really is just that simple

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:32

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My [18f] boyfriend [18m] wanted to open up our relationship now that we are at uni, but is now mad that I'm getting a lot more action than him

quote:

I guess this might be a common issue, I don't know. Been with my bf for just over 4 years now. I was his first everything, even kiss, but I had a bf before him that I did everything with. It's fair to say that he is definitely better looking than I am, so when he became interested in me I jumped at the chance to be with him as he is a great guy and has the looks to boot. I know people will say "don't be like that I'm sure you're gorgeous too", but I'm not. I don't think I'm ugly in any way, but I know I'm not the prettiest catch ever, maybe slightly below average on looks.

Anyway, now that we are at Uni, my boyfriend has been around a lot of horny girls, as is natural at Uni. I wouldn't lie if I said I wasn't interested in all of that, because I was. When he came to me with the idea of being in an open relationship, I knew it was because he was speaking to this girl, so I agreed to let him have sex with her, on the condition that I could be with other guys too, which he agreed to.

I downloaded Tinder for the first time ever and holy moly Tinder is filled with thirsty guys. I've never received that much attention in my life. So I began speaking to some of them and eventually went on a date with a few of them. It was getting to the point where sex was being talked about, so I sat down with my bf one night and said that I am going to see this guy to have sex. He seemed a little shocked at first, but was totally fine with it, told me to have fun, yadda yadda. So I ended up having sex with the guy and it was great, we did it a few times over the course of the next week.

Now guy two gets interested in sex, so yet again I bring it up with my bf and again he's all like "have fun". So I sleep with guy 2 as well. My bf then says that I don't need to tell him whenever I have sex with someone else, so I say "sure okay, but I still wanna know when you gently caress this other girl", and he says okay, and tells me they had sex the night before. No problem.

So after a few weeks of not really bringing it up, he asks have many times I've had sex in the 4 or so weeks we'd been open. To be honest I'd lost count. I'd been sleeping with the 3 aforementioned guys regularly, so I responded with, "idk, like 15 times or something".

My bf then gets incredibly quiet and upset, and he tells me that the open relationship was a mistake and that he thought it would be a lot more even than it currently is, and didn't expect me to be sleeping around so much. I tried to console him but he just went to sleep. This was last night, and he barely said a word to me this morning.

Is there anything I can do or say to salvage this? I really love this guy, and whilst I don't want to give up sleeping with the other guys, I will if it is the only way to save this relationship.

Imagine four open relationships standing on the edge of a cliff. Time works the same way.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:40

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

DemoneeHo posted:

My [18f] boyfriend [18m] wanted to open up our relationship now that we are at uni, but is now mad that I'm getting a lot more action than him

https://thehardtimes.net/blog/help-my-wife-and-i-started-an-open-relationship-and-it-turns-out-shes-significantly-more-attractive-than-i-am/

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:46

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

DemoneeHo posted:

My [18f] boyfriend [18m] wanted to open up our relationship now that we are at uni, but is now mad that I'm getting a lot more action than him

A tale as old as time

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:49

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Licarn posted:

https://thehardtimes.net/blog/help-my-wife-and-i-started-an-open-relationship-and-it-turns-out-shes-significantly-more-attractive-than-i-am/

lol what a finisher on that last paragraph

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:52

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Licarn posted:

How can I [m/23] get my GF [f/22] to agree to my fetish and not find it weird?

Come on Pants-Pooper, this is the internet, you dont gotta lie to us about what get your meat baked

# ? Jan 6, 2020 16:54

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Licarn posted:

How can I [m/23] get my GF [f/22] to agree to my fetish and not find it weird?

when he gets old the nursing home is gonna be one long orgasm

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:14

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Ha! You guys really nailed him.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:15

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA If I posted a video montage online of my neighbor throwing things in my yard?

My mom and I bought a duplex for me to manage and live in during my years in college. Bought the house in 2018, I moved in the summer of 2019. We installed a ring video security system, along with a front yard doorbell and backyard video floodlights.

When I moved in, there were a ton of branches and limbs by my neighbors fence. That was odd since we only had one medium-sized tree, nearly ten feet from the fence.

Later that summer, the backyard ring camera caught the neighbor throwing branches over. We realized that that is where the huge pile came from.

Halloween came around and my roommate and I decided to throw a party on Friday, November 1st. We tried to talk to Ms. Stick thrower, but they were not home during our three attempts. We left a note explaining it, along with our names and numbers.

The party was 30+ people coming and going, along with music and a beerpong table in the backyard. Cops were (rightfully) called at 11:45PM; we shut it down.

The 4th, I was in class and got a front doorbell notification. It was Ms. Stick thrower pulling up my decorative styrofoam tombstones and throwing them behind my bushes. When I got home I saw that one was broken.

My roommate and I decided to call the non-emergency line about this, because obviously she had no respect for us, and this is the south so anyone could have a gun.

A cop came out, we showed her everything, and we went to talk to the neighbor. Her fiancee opened the door, claimed she was not home despite her car being there.

Anyways, time went on and I noticed that she came into our backyard via a gate, which was deep in my backyard. This freaked me out, as video showed her smoking and wandering around my backyard. I put a carabiner on the gate to keep her out.

End of November, I come home and see these huge limbs flying over the fence. I get out, confront her, we argue, and she claims that she owns two feet of my backyard. She ends the conversation with "Do you want to make these next four years a living hell?"

Called the non-emergency number, and once again she hid from the cops. I found out that she is a professor at my university.

I emailed the dean of students, told him everything and provided proof. Their resources were useless, and I am beyond fed up. Cops say they can't do anything, despite video evidence and four no trespassing signs. I want her to stop.

We got a survey done, and she does NOT own two feet into my backyard.

I have edited together a video montage of her throwing limbs, branches, sticks, rocks, and cigarettes together, along with her trespassing in my backyard.

WIBTA if I posted this video online with the caption "University Professor's Actions"?

Edit: I have spoken to my mom and we just sent an email, entailing all the details plus video, to her Dean. Also, I posted to legal advice.

Edit: Wow, okay, really did not expect this to get so much traction. I appreciate everyone's advice, and I plan on making many calls tomorrow. The Dean's office reopens tomorrow as well, so I might hear back from them then. Not sure whats going on with my legal post, I'll try to fix it. There is also NO TREES/BRANCHES HANGING OVER THE FENCE. She is throwing branches from her yard into mine. In the beginning, I threw the branches back over, but they would magically appear with even more. So I gave up.

I hope she makes his life a living hell for a lot longer than four years.

Pig callers get hosed

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:15

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

carry on then posted:

I hope she makes his life a living hell for a lot longer than four years.

Pig callers get hosed

According to his timeline, she called the cops first, so... how does the karma work on that one? Is it first called gets hosed or last called gets hosed? If he tricks her into calling the cops again does she become the bad guy again?

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:17

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

According to op, her neighbor is the head of the department she works in. She could have tenure already and the dean can't do poo poo.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:23

Rent-A-Cop: Oct 15, 2004; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

No same employer would hunt any of that poo poo anyway. It's a huge hassle and potential legal minefield.

You just assume whatever idiot is tattling to their neighbor/-ex/etc's boss is a looney and forward directly to trash.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:26

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016

carry on then posted:

I hope she makes his life a living hell for a lot longer than four years.

Pig callers get hosed

What's your suggestion then?

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:29

Tashilicious: Jul 17, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

ilmucche posted:

What's your suggestion then?

Set her house on fire after barricading every exit.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:30

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

get a big dog

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:32

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

DandyLion posted:

Ha! You guys really nailed him.

trap sprung, shitter

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:34

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

DemoneeHo posted:

My [18f] boyfriend [18m] wanted to open up our relationship now that we are at uni, but is now mad that I'm getting a lot more action than him

Imagine four open relationships standing on the edge of a cliff. Time works the same way.

Even though the plot is known, they never get old

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:37

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

My family is being torn apart by my dad's (70M) ego because he doesn't think my sister's boyfriend (late 20s) is a real man/can protect her because of his job.
I'm posting this more for my mum, my family is being torn apart by my dad's ego on what a man is and don't know what to do.

My sister is in federal law enforcement. She met this guy through a mutual friend of ours a year and a half ago. She's been dating him for a year and three months. He's a programmer. I don't know exactly what he does, but it's in that field.

This past December, my sister asked my parents if they would be okay with her bringing him over for lunch and then going to his parents for dinner. My mum was okay with it, but my dad didn't really take it well. He started to bring up my sister's ex boyfriend and commentated how that guy was a real man and could protect my sister. It then turned into what I've been told was a big argument and some dirty laundry was brought up. My sister ended up skipping Christmas all together with our family and went to his. She told me that she just wanted to spend to the day together.

Today my mum invited my sister to her house to talk. I was there for this unlike the innital confrontation. My dad started immediately about how he liked her ex boyfriend so much better than her current boyfriend because he was in the military. He cheated on her and that's why they broke up. My sister and dad once again got into an argument about her current boyfriend. The jist of it is that he doesn't think his job is manly, can protect my sister and doesn't think he can accept her boyfriend into the family.

My sister's birthday is coming up. She invited me and my mum, but told our dad he could stay at home and rot in his missery. Said she loves her boyfriend and to deal with it. She said she's planning on moving in with him later in the year at around August. My mum asked me to help her get through to my dad, but I'm at a loss as to what I can even do.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:43

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Power Khan posted:

My family is being torn apart by my dad's (70M) ego because he doesn't think my sister's boyfriend (late 20s) is a real man/can protect her because of his job.
I'm posting this more for my mum, my family is being torn apart by my dad's ego on what a man is and don't know what to do.

My sister is in federal law enforcement. She met this guy through a mutual friend of ours a year and a half ago. She's been dating him for a year and three months. He's a programmer. I don't know exactly what he does, but it's in that field.

This past December, my sister asked my parents if they would be okay with her bringing him over for lunch and then going to his parents for dinner. My mum was okay with it, but my dad didn't really take it well. He started to bring up my sister's ex boyfriend and commentated how that guy was a real man and could protect my sister. It then turned into what I've been told was a big argument and some dirty laundry was brought up. My sister ended up skipping Christmas all together with our family and went to his. She told me that she just wanted to spend to the day together.

Today my mum invited my sister to her house to talk. I was there for this unlike the innital confrontation. My dad started immediately about how he liked her ex boyfriend so much better than her current boyfriend because he was in the military. He cheated on her and that's why they broke up. My sister and dad once again got into an argument about her current boyfriend. The jist of it is that he doesn't think his job is manly, can protect my sister and doesn't think he can accept her boyfriend into the family.

My sister's birthday is coming up. She invited me and my mum, but told our dad he could stay at home and rot in his missery. Said she loves her boyfriend and to deal with it. She said she's planning on moving in with him later in the year at around August. My mum asked me to help her get through to my dad, but I'm at a loss as to what I can even do.

sounds like dad had a boner for the ex

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:45

Inspector Gesicht: Oct 26, 2012; 500 Zeus a body.

Its clear the the dad wants to gently caress his daughter's ex-boyfriend.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:45

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

he cheated on her with her dad obvs

# ? Jan 6, 2020 17:49

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I mean on one hand all computer touchers are trash but on the other hand the patriarch of the family is also trash

# ? Jan 6, 2020 18:03

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Colonel Cancer posted:

I mean on one hand all computer touchers are trash but on the other hand the patriarch of the family is also trash

You sound as dumb as the dad.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 18:07

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Leon Einstein posted:

You sound as dumb as the dad.

C'mon, its just a little bit of self-deprecating humor.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 18:15

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Darkhold posted:

No it's when you have a son with a hobbit I think.

I thought that was a sonling

# ? Jan 6, 2020 18:20

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for shutting down the electric to my moms house after finding out she had used my social security without my knowing?

Unknowingly to me (M20) for the past two years my mom has been using my social security number to open an account with an electric company and since she opened it she hasn�t paid one bill, racking up over 5400 USD in debt under my name.

I only found out about the bill after I went to check the mail christmas day and saw mail from the company to me. She had hidden it from me for over two years.

I was furious and panicked because I�m supposed to be getting married, I�m in college, and already it felt as though my life was already hitting a block, and now I wasn�t even going to be able to put the power for my own house under my name and my credit would be down the drain if I didn�t do something about it. So I texted my mom asking about it, I tried to be respectful about it, but she threw a fit, yelled at me, and immediately tried to turn the tables on me. She had tried saying that I told her she could use my name, but even if I did, (which I know I didn�t because I would remember something like this) it�s the fact she didn�t pay a penny for two years, since she opened the account. She said things to me like I ruined Christmas, how terrible I am treating her, I don�t appreciate anything she does for me, and tried holding college over my head saying she isn�t going to help me do anything, or pay anything for my college if I try to do anything about the electric. Some of the things were so bad that my fianc� said I should delete the messages so I don�t have to look at them whenever I get on my phone.

After much thought and consideration, I decided to shut the power off, I gave my mom some time to figure something else out for the power to the house and I�m not sure if she thinks I�m serious or not but I intend on closing the account. She now has basically disowned me, and after talking to my little brother, (He�s 18), I heard how she tried turning my siblings against me, telling them how terrible I am and twisting the situation in favor of her.

My friends think I should sue her, but as my mother I don�t think I could bring myself to do it, I told her I�ll take the debt on but I�m not letting the account stay open.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:04

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

HardDiskD posted:

A tale as old as time

Tale as old as time
Poly as it can be
Lovers not even friends
One of them contends
They should sex openly

Wanting a side piece
Thirsty to say the least
Asker a little crazed
And not at all prepared

To see their partner desired

Poly ends the same
Never a surprise
Ever as before and ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Poly ends the same
Never a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet poly change
Finding no sex strange
Learning no one cares

Certain as the sun
Certain as the sun
Rising in the East

Tale as old as time
Poly as can be

One is left thirsty

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme

One is left thirsty

One is left thirsty

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:05

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for shutting down the electric to my moms house after finding out she had used my social security without my knowing?

NTA and take her to the loving cleaners.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:09

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

DemoneeHo posted:

My [18f] boyfriend [18m] wanted to open up our relationship now that we are at uni, but is now mad that I'm getting a lot more action than him

Imagine four open relationships standing on the edge of a cliff. Time works the same way.

He�s gotta pee on her more so other ppl can sniff out the territory. :hmmyes:

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:17

mortons stork: Oct 13, 2012

AITA for not changing my cat's medicine even though it could kill my roommate

quote:

My poor kitty has been sick for the last couple of days and I just took her to the vet today. It turns out she has an infection and the vet prescribed her antibiotics.

I'm a grad student and not particularly well off so the vet visit and antibiotics were pretty pricey but hey, anything for my baby. I picked up the antibiotics today but after getting home and chatting with my roommate it turns out my roommate is actually allergic to this specific antibiotic and in fact when he was a baby had anaphylactic shock in the hospital because of the antibiotic.

I told him I would keep my cat and all her stuff in my room for the entire time she was on the antibiotics (only a few days) and that I would be very very careful and wash my hands after pilling her and petting her and everything, but my roommate was insistent that I ask my vet for a different antibiotic that he's not allergic to. I told him I could if he would pay for it but he wouldn't because when I adopted the cat it was agreed that I would cover 100% of cat expenses and damage, etc. Having to pay for the medicine twice would put me in an uncomfortable position financially this week and I think that I'm already doing all the precautions necessary and more but he thinks I'm being an rear end in a top hat because he could literally die.

AITA?

Edit: Ok, so it seems that my roommate probably won't die in the night or anything. I'll call my vet in the morning just to be sure about medication/allergy issues.

Edit edit: Why do people keep commenting about my roommate frenching my cat

Weird boring story up front but the edit really makes it. Exactly what I was thinking lol.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:20

Hobo Clown: Oct 16, 2012; Here it is, Baby.
Your killer track.

AITA for kicking out my uncle from the house even though he pays rent?

quote:

I recently inherited my mom's house and I plan to move in to be rent-free. My uncle imo is a leach of the family. He works at McDonalds but pays 500 in rent when the going avg 1 bedroom basement apartment in my city is 1,200. I wanted to do reno and get rid of the basement apartment. I told him that he has to leave in two weeks with no exceptions. My mom, dad and sister got pretty mad at me. They told me that I am an rear end in a top hat and if I follow up on my plans, they are considering cutting me off. I never liked that man and I am certainly not going to live with him till he dies.

Kid lucks into a free house and goes full bore evil landlord immediately

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:22

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

I love my 1/5th son

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:31

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Two weeks, dude at least give him a month jfc

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:33

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Hobo Clown posted:

AITA for kicking out my uncle from the house even though he pays rent?

Kid lucks into a free house and goes full bore evil landlord immediately

Holy poo poo that post history. Dude is legit mentally disturbed. And super racist. And an incel (shortcel - I didn't know that was a thing).

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:35

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

Hobo Clown posted:

AITA for kicking out my uncle from the house even though he pays rent?

I recently inherited my mom's house [...]. My mom, dad and sister got pretty mad at me.

mom's so pissed she's returned from beyond the grave to tell him he sucks

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:36

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Hobo Clown posted:

AITA for kicking out my uncle from the house even though he pays rent?

Kid lucks into a free house and goes full bore evil landlord immediately

How did he inherit it if his mom's still around to disapprove?

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:38

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Hobo Clown posted:

AITA for kicking out my uncle from the house even though he pays rent?

Kid lucks into a free house and goes full bore evil landlord immediately

Other choice posts from that user:

/r/trueoffmychest: I am scared of black people
/r/confessions: I cummed on my uncle�s girlfriend�s panties once
/r/shortcels: Noodle whores love drawing themselves as white.

And a bunch of other racist poo poo

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 20, 2024 16:06

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Luv the dissolution of family unit

# ? Jan 6, 2020 19:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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