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AITA for cutting my niece’s tuition after she adopted some offensive beliefs? This one needs a little background. I (40sF) have two younger brothers. We were raised in a very conservative Christian home (think early evangelical movement). My brother “Sam” was pretty obviously gay, but he had a lot of shame and forced himself to marry a woman from church. They had my niece (now 19F). Unfortunately, my brother made some bad choices, and he developed a drug habit which caused him to OD when my niece was four. Our parents are now deceased, and my other brother is career military and gone a lot. I’ve done the best of my siblings, and I have a well paying job and plenty of savings. I have no children. Because of these circumstances, we (my SIL, niece, brother, and I) are a very close knit family. I’ve always helped my SIL financially here and there, and I’m paying my niece’s tuition at a state university. She’s a good student, and I’m happy to relieve the burden on her mom. The problem: my niece is getting involved with a pretty conservative Christian group on campus. She was not raised religious, and I’m an atheist, but I respect that some people find religion meaningful and enriching. However, I feel like she’s been adopting homophobic and sexist attitudes (e.g. “complementarity” of the sexes), and I think it’s coming from the group. She also opposes marriage equality now, on the grounds of religious freedom. This could just be a teen rebellion thing, but she doesn’t know her dad was gay. I can imagine how much he’d hurt if he were alive. I’ve tried to argue it out with her, but she always deflects. Now, I’m considering pulling her spring tuition in order to make my point. I don’t want her going to university if it’s making her a crueler, more ignorant person. That’s not the purpose of education. AITA?
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Jan 12, 2020 03:29
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DemoneeHo posted:I might have gone a little overboard with spoilers, but believe me it's worth it I disagree with her saying that medical students would be useful. In nearly all my experiences they might as well not even be there. EMTs though sure. Hearty lol at the idea of Eagle scouts training from 20+ years before.
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Jan 12, 2020 03:34
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:I disagree with her saying that medical students would be useful. In nearly all my experiences they might as well not even be there. Most medical students still mostly have just theoretical knowledge so they’d probably just be in the way unless something weird was going on. EMT, sure, you’re taught how to do a patient assessment to get a good idea of what’s going on, and you know how to use basically everything in an airplane first aid kit. Eagle Scout stuff is literal first aid class, “oh no billy got himself with a hatchet slicing firewood”, trauma focused bare minimums.
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Jan 12, 2020 03:41
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henkman posted:Am I the second choice? drat bitch whats wrong with your self esteem ? cant even get a no wiper gotta go straight to the pedo?
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Jan 12, 2020 03:45
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:I disagree with her saying that medical students would be useful. In nearly all my experiences they might as well not even be there. As a former Eagle myself, gently caress no I am not any kind of medical professional, I can remember how to do CPR maybe
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Jan 12, 2020 03:51
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA Because My Wife Has To Work A Job? She liked wiping baby asses and making his meals instead of having a career so why is she so resentful now
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Jan 12, 2020 03:54
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Best Bi Geek Squid posted:Boyfriend jacks off loudly and I’m not sure if I’m being too sensitive about it Dunno about you all but I heard coins jangling reading this post.
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Jan 12, 2020 04:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA Because My Wife Has To Work A Job? Man this post gives me serious anxiety. Also, wonder what industry cratered 3 years ago. Is it something we millennials killed?
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Jan 12, 2020 04:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA Because My Wife Has To Work A Job? Divorce your awful abusive wife and pump her for alimony
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Jan 12, 2020 04:04
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Knobb Manwich posted:Dunno about you all but I heard coins jangling reading this post. Man talk about your deep cuts.
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Jan 12, 2020 04:04
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Licarn posted:She liked wiping baby asses and making his meals instead of having a career so why is she so resentful now Wait, are you siding with the person who blames their partner for no longer being able to support them both on a single income in tyol 2020
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Jan 12, 2020 04:19
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SirSamVimes posted:Wait, are you siding with the person who blames their partner for no longer being able to support them both on a single income in tyol 2020 Duh. How dare he not support my reading habit.
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Jan 12, 2020 04:23
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Beachcomber posted:Man this post gives me serious anxiety. I was wondering about that myself, I was guessing it was something a techbro "disrupter" killed or one of the B2B support industries, literally everybody in manufacturing or construction I talk to that wants work can get it in the US.
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Jan 12, 2020 04:28
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SirSamVimes posted:Wait, are you siding with the person who blames their partner for no longer being able to support them both on a single income in tyol 2020 nah, but also not siding with the guy who doesn't acknowledge his wife was working while she stayed home to raise his kids instead of getting a job that would have enabled them to be financially secure now
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Jan 12, 2020 04:43
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Licarn posted:nah, but also not siding with the guy who doesn't acknowledge his wife was working while she stayed home to raise his kids instead of getting a job that would have enabled them to be financially secure now I think he meant after the kids were in school. Honestly, if your kids are in school all day, being a stay at home parent isn’t very taxing.
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Jan 12, 2020 04:46
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Admiral Ray posted:I found an update: I read the post and thought, “well, maybe she wasn’t the only one with PPD...”
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Jan 12, 2020 04:56
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11 year monogamous relationship and now he wants to be poly. Are we destined for failure? My (27F) boyfriend (28M) of 11 years has recently told me he would like to start a poly relationship with a girl at his work. For some background, we have done long distance in the past, and are now doing long distance again for my school (about 2 hours away). We see each other every 2-4 weeks. We have an amazing sex life and we are absolutely perfect for each other, aside from him wanting other relationships, and me wanting to be monogamous. When he told me he wanted an open relationship a few years ago, I was crushed. I cried for a while and I think the answer I gave him was that I didn’t want to do it, but also didn’t want to take away his happiness. I think I ended up saying yes, but that I wasn’t happy about it. The most he ever did was kiss one of his friends, and even that crushed me. He recently told me he read More Than Two, and realized that he wanted to try to be poly. Now, much more recently, a new girl has started at his work, and they’ve very quickly become friends. They hang out outside of work, and it was very obvious to me that they were both into each other by the way he was describing their interactions. Knowing that he likes someone hasn’t ever really bothered me as long as he isn’t acting on it. A few days ago he told me he got a text from this new girl saying that she is really into him. He had told her before that he was probably poly as a person, but not in his current relationship. She’s been in a poly relationship before and she just wanted to lay everything out, and talk about it some more and make sure everyone is happy. She didn’t want to make him or me uncomfortable or impose anything. He told me he knew I wouldn’t WANT a poly relationship, so he was nervous to tell me, but he also let me know that there was “no way in heck” he’d want any sort of relationship that didn’t involve staying with me. I’ve been crying almost non-stop for a couple days now and I had a panic attack yesterday just thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that we might break up, which neither of us want. He told me he loves me so much and wants to spend forever with me and that his feelings for her change nothing about how he feels about me. I told him I’d been thinking about how this might end with us breaking up, since we both wanted different things and he said he doesn’t ever want to break up and that I’m his family. He says the way he pictures the relationship would be that he and I would get married and buy a house together and he would occasionally hang out with his other girlfriend as his secondary partner. And that maybe I could be friends with her. He also told me the relationship with the other girl probably wouldn’t last that long, because she moves pretty often, and wasn’t planning on staying in their city forever. I asked him if he would hate me if I just said no to the whole thing, and he said he wouldn’t hate me, but he’d rather try it out and stop than not try at all, especially since it won't last forever and that she feels the same way. I told him it would feel so wrong if I let them start a relationship, and then force them to stop just because I can’t handle it. He drove down to see me last night for a quick sleepover, since I had told him the day before that I needed a hug, and he really wanted a hug and a snuggle too. He told me that they would take it slow and maybe eventually he would start bringing her to his family gatherings. I basically sobbed at this point. I felt like him bringing her to his family gatherings when I couldn’t go was like stabbing me in the heart. He then said that his family probably wouldn’t allow that and would get upset. He said he was sorry for hurting me, and that he wished he wasn’t so complicated, and wanted to just want me. He told me if I was more comfortable with them just being friends with benefits, that they would be ok with that. I feel like he’s already decided that he’s going to start a relationship with this girl, and it’s just up to me to set boundaries, but I really don’t want any of it to happen. I don’t feel like he’s really listening to me, or seeing how much it’s hurting me inside. I wish I was able to be happy about him having another girlfriend. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him, but I also don’t want to take away his happiness and have him resent me forever. But I also feel that the amount of hurt it would cause me would outweigh the happiness the 2 of them would gain. But maybe I’m just being selfish. TL;DR: My bf wants a poly relationship with a new girl at work and I want to say no, but I don't know if I'm being selfish. Should I just say yes and try it out? Is this whole thing going to blow up in the end anyway?
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Jan 12, 2020 04:59
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https://twitter.com/BathysphereHat/status/1216053496996339713?s=19
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Jan 12, 2020 05:14
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AITA For Going On A Trip Over My Youngest Daughters Birthday?quote:So, I know the title above screams “rear end in a top hat,” but hear me out. I’ve had a trip planned for awhile to go on a trip over a few certain days with my oldest son, and possibly my wife. (The trip has not been paid for yet, but we’ve had the idea to go for awhile.)
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Jan 12, 2020 05:18
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Go on the trip, it’s best to set expectations while they’re young
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Jan 12, 2020 05:38
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If he's been planning this trip so long why did he plan it on his daughters, who can't go, birthday?
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Jan 12, 2020 05:44
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I'm having flashbacks to the dude asking if he should go to the world cup or if he should go to his own drat wedding.
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Jan 12, 2020 05:45
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ad090 posted:AITA For Going On A Trip Over My Youngest Daughters Birthday? I'm betting money that OP is going to a three day jimmy buffet fest.
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Jan 12, 2020 05:47
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:If he's been planning this trip so long why did he plan it on his daughters, who can't go, birthday? That said, it sounds to me like it's "we should go to Vegas" but no dates were ever set, just the dream of going to Vegas. Now [insert singer here] is playing 3 days and they thought "perfect excuse to go, let's do it" even though it happens to fall on daughter's birthday, who of course can't go because Vegas is for getting drunk and having foursomes with your son, wife and a stripper. I don't know what the gently caress "But the thing is, the concert is basically a series" means, though.
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Jan 12, 2020 05:59
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ad090 posted:AITA For Going On A Trip Over My Youngest Daughters Birthday? yes, absolutely the rear end in a top hat
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Jan 12, 2020 06:01
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:It's really unclear what the op wants and why the daughters can't go and why they're only mad op won't be there but don't seem bothered wife won't be there. You're probably right, but anyone who thinks you can't do Vegas with kids that are old enough to like, walk around are dumb as gently caress. There's a shitload to do and the stuff that's age capped is going to more or less all be at 21, not 18 anyway.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:01
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Literally A Person posted:I'm betting money that OP is going to a three day jimmy buffet fest. From the comments, some comments seem convinced it's a three day Wilco concert in Mexico.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:09
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13Pandora13 posted:You're probably right, but anyone who thinks you can't do Vegas with kids that are old enough to like, walk around are dumb as gently caress. There's a shitload to do and the stuff that's age capped is going to more or less all be at 21, not 18 anyway. https://phish.com/tours/dates/sun-2020-2-23-moon-palace/ Trying think of cross generational bands with weird as gently caress devoted fans.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:12
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WIBTA for going on a trip my wife can no longer go on because of her DUI? Last year, my wife and I made plans to spend a week in Montreal with another couple we're close friends with. None of us had been to Canada before, and we thought it would be fun if we all went together. We requested time off work, bought flights, made hotel reservations, etc. The trip is scheduled for March. Here's the problem: a month we made all these arrangements, my wife was arrested for drunk driving, and she pleaded guilty to the charge this week. My understanding is that she can no longer enter Canada with a DUI on her record. But I still want to go on the trip, which I paid a lot of money for, and I told our friends I still plan on accompanying them. My wife and I got into a huge fight over it, and she accused me of being selfish and unsupportive for wanting to go without her. I don't think that's fair. I've supported her throughout the entire court process, which has been incredibly stressful and expensive, and I've been looking forward to this trip for a long time. WIBTA?
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Jan 12, 2020 06:43
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:Maybe it's not Vegas. Cancun?
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Jan 12, 2020 06:47
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for going on a trip my wife can no longer go on because of her DUI? Not the rear end in a top hat at all. With Uber and Lyft it’s so easy to avoid drunk driving, which can gently caress up lives of completely random, uninvolved passerby. Guy’s wife accuses him of being selfish? That’s fuckin’ hilarious.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:55
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for going on a trip my wife can no longer go on because of her DUI? This is entirely a problem of your wife's making. All she had to do was not drive drunk and she'd still be going on the holiday that has been planned for a year and is already paid for. She can spend her time at home doing a bit of self reflection on how loving stupid it is to drive drunk.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:56
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for going on a trip my wife can no longer go on because of her DUI?
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Jan 12, 2020 06:57
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for going on a trip my wife can no longer go on because of her DUI? Anyone who gets a DUI is no longer entitled to anything, as far as I'm concerned. She can go to the mall and people watch, imagining all the different kinds of people she might have killed.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:57
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MagusofStars posted:Wait, is this a real thing? I could understand they might not let you drive there or immigrate, but not letting you travel to the country as a tourist? yeah it's a big deal, from what i've read lots of americans get turned away at customs for having a criminal record.
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Jan 12, 2020 06:59
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for going on a trip my wife can no longer go on because of her DUI? Did they seize her passport, when she got arrested? You're flying to Montreal. Is someone really going run her record? gently caress her for drunk driving, but I find that claim a little hard to swallow...not like all the booze your lush wife drank, before she stumbled out to her 4000lb sidewalk plow.
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Jan 12, 2020 07:13
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Clitch posted:Did they seize her passport, when she got arrested? You're flying to Montreal. Is someone really going run her record? gently caress her for drunk driving, but I find that claim a little hard to swallow...not like all the booze your lush wife drank, before she stumbled out to her 4000lb sidewalk plow. Looked it up, and yeah Canada can and will bar people from entering the country for misdemeanor offenses, including drunk driving. Whether or not they'll actually look it up upon entry is a different question, but it's entirely possible she could arrive in country, have them run her name at customs, determine she's ineligible for entry, and put her on the next flight back to the US. e: https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/inadmissibility.html
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Jan 12, 2020 07:23
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Malachite_Dragon posted:I'm having flashbacks to the dude asking if he should go to the world cup or if he should go to his own drat wedding. there aren't any Eurogoons telling us that he's right to skip his daughter's birthday, though
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Jan 12, 2020 07:28
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This one is amazing for the continuing Twitter thread
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Jan 12, 2020 07:35
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This isn't a WIBTA post, and it shouldn't be, because the answer would be "gently caress no"quote:A little background:
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Jan 12, 2020 07:44
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